- Chris's reaction after watching an episode where the club owner's mother performs a lapdance for her husband?
- His reaction to the shocking swerve of the reveal of the killer in season 1."Yeah, all those clues you were collecting for the whole season to try and find out who done it? They meant absolutely BUPKIS because we left out the only clue that mattered until the very last act...SCREW YOU, OUR LOYAL FANBASE!!!"
- Also, his reaction when the show used the same shocking swerve type of twist for a third time.
My Mother the Car
- "Boy, the only person I can think of who has bigger mommy issues is Norman Bates."
Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation
- His rant to the Saban executives that this show was why the Ninja Turtles fans hate the Power Rangers fans, which ends with him calmly stating that he is "not thrilled".
- At the end, he wonders what could be worse than this. (singing) "We're the turtles! You can count on us!"
- In his Turtles Retrospective, he notes when a guy is staring at a mirror with a warning of great evil being released onto our world, he quips "So that's where the Kardashians came from!"
Sex and the City
- Rowdy saying that Carrie spends her money more on clothing than he does on baseball tickets.
Men Behaving Badly
- After a character uses underwear as a coffee filter: (Face Palm) "That was in the promos, people!"
- "FYI: When Jon Arbuckle isn't as pathetic around women as you are, you're doing something wrong!"
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
- When he first mentions Grandma Spankenheimer's name, he adds "And NO, I'm NOT commenting on that name whatsoever".
- "Oh great, two unlikable busty redheads in a month. I'm popping in Who Framed Roger Rabbit when this is over."
- His reaction to Cousin Mel putting Mr. Bucks' business card somewhere other than a pocket.
- When Jake is e-mailing Santa:Jake: (reading aloud) To email@example.comChris: Yeah, I'm guessing "santaclaus.com" was taken by a porno site.
- When Grandma gets run over AGAIN:Chris: Predictable comic ending coming RIIIIGHT ABOUUUUUUUT......(points at camera)Grandma: NOT AGAIN..... (Santa and his reindeer run over Grandma. Again.)Chris: OOPS, HE DID IT AGAIN!
It's Your First Kiss, Charlie Brown
- After breaking down over Charlie Brown being mocked for something that Lucy did...Caption: Fifteen minutes later..
- At the end, when he wishes that Lucy Van Pelt had some comeuppance, he turns to the infamous scene from Family Guy where Peter roundhouse kicks Lucy. He then realizes that he's laughing at child abuse.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
- "But there's one thing neither Aaron Sorkin, 30 Rock, nor Sonny with a Chance can top - PIG VIKINGS SINGING ALONG WITH THE VILLAGE PEOPLE!"
- Joel: You are tearing me apart!Chris: What did he say?Joel: You are tearing me apart!Chris: Oh my god! It's Tommy Wiseau! I KNEW there was a bigger reason for me to hate this!
- His reaction to the show's depiction of cavewomen.
Happy New Year, Charlie Brown
- After Patty realizes that Charlie is head over heels for the Little Red-Haired Girl:"Don't worry! You still have your future life partner- NO! NO! I'm NOT stooping to any Patty/Marcie lesbian jokes!"
- And after seeing Patty and Marcie dancing at the party: "Must! Resist!"
- "Charlie Brown was my own inspiration for attracting girls! I am so going to die alone!"
- This exchange:
- Lucy: There's dog germs in my root beer!Chris: Well, you're already a bitch, so what's the big deal? HEY-O!
- He stated that Pam was at least trying in Stripperella. He then realizes that he said something NICE about Stripperella. He has to restrain himself from destroying the DVD."It's a rental! It's a rental!"
- He is so depressed at the end (it was his 1st anniversary), that he needs something to pick him up. Cue ALF.
- When a group of drug dealers suddenly start rapping:"Ladies and gentlemen, the birth of modern-day gangsta rap!"
- Chris can't seem to decide which is worse: The "horrific" musical numbers in Cop Rock, or "Dennis Franz's bare ass!"
Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers
- His review ends with him saying that he would rather watch the live action movies than the animated trio that the titular movie was based off of, because Scrappy got his ass kicked, and...Chris: That...and they had Sarah Michelle Gellar.
- His reaction to Jaleel White reprising his voice as Sonic, as well as his brother Manic and his sister Sonia.
- Then Sonic picks up a guitar and starts singing."COME ON, I JUST REVIEWED COP ROCK, HAVE YOU NO MERCY?!?!"
- "When the Muppet Babies sing better than you, you should STOP TRYING!!!!!"
- Chris' impression of The Oracle."And I may be partially to blame for it. I really suck at this!"
Heil Honey I'm Home
- This:Chris: We're four minutes into this, and I can't see how this can POSSIBLY get worse!Eva: What is it, honey?Hitler: It's the Goldenstiens!Chris: WHY DO I TEMPT FATE??
- "Yeah, I was imagining Lynda Carter coming in and bashing their heads together!"
- After hearing the godawful theme song to the show, Chris puts a Nintendo Zapper to his head.
- At the beginning of the episode, Chris is in a huge funk. He decides to listlessly flip through TV. Within seconds of seeing TMZ, he is up, dressed, and cleans up his studio."Oh, yeah! It's ON!"
- His reaction to the "songs" performed in the show:"I take back EVERYTHING I SAID about Sonic Underground and Cop Rock!"
- This:Cindy: Jellystone Mall! Just THINK of all the opportunities!Chris: Yeah, they torn down all of our trees and bushes, but.....LOOK, HOT TOPIC!!!"
- When we get our first glimpse of Ranger—AHEM, Mall Cop Smith:"Spoiler alert: He makes Paul Blart look competent! Not a good comparison."
- "How ridiculous, a character who always has to wear a HAT all the time!" (Beat)
Family Guy: "Road to the Multiverse"
- The face Chris makes upon seeing Mort get beaten up in the Disney universe for being Jewish.
- "A universe without God where Meg is hot? Gee... could this be referencing another episode?"
Family Guy: "Family Gay"
- "Well, at least they're equal opportunity offenders: stereotyping straight people as well as gays!"
- His final grade for the show's attempts at a Gay Aesop? "Quintuple F-Minus!"
Family Guy: "Not All Dogs Go to Heaven"
- "You know that episode of South Park that says that 'Family Guy'' is written by a bunch of manatees? The manatees should be INSULTED!"
- The last two minutes of his review. After taking a look at the worst Family Guy episodes, he declares "What's left to talk about?" He then launches into a brutal rant against Seth, with the speech being a parody of the one Quagmire gave to Brian in "Jerome is the New Black". Doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
- After noticing all of the Fanservice in the show......"I'm just going to skip to the clip and stop ogling her now...I'm still ogling her, aren't I?"
Kath and Kim
- Chris's sister is blasting her music too loud. Chris lays down some ground rules:"You pick up after yourself, you keep the music down, and no, you can't use Jeannie to go to Vegas or change your credit rating!"
- After learning that the princess selected the This Loser Is You type heroes as the best examples of humanity (wise, handsome and noble), all he can do is laugh and fall to the floor.Caption: Fifteen minutes of uncontrollable laughter later...
- After hearing T-Bird say "Where we're going, we don't NEED tires!"
- "There is now NOTHING sacred anymore!"
Olive, the Other Reindeer
- "Note to self: watch the Madagascar movies again, to be reminded of how penguins can actually be funny."
- His concern that they can not say the words "Super Bowl", so the title is "You're in the Su
Big Game, Charlie Brown."
Linus: "Who is that, Charlie Brown?"Charlie Brown: "I don't know. I've never seen her before."Chris: "I think it's one of those things that we were told causes cooties. GET YOUR BOOSTER SHOTS!"
- When we first meet Melody Melody
- The beginning: Perkins and Cecil decide to "Occupy Hollywood" for their mistreatment of cats, and even go as far as to put black labels on the DVD boxes.
Gary the Rat
- "Gary's a jerk, he's better than everyone else, he cheats to get his way, and he always comes out on top with no remorse or retribution. He's the freaking Barry Bonds of cartoons!"
- "Now, after having to endure this piece of crap, my producer and I are going to go have a philosophical discussion." (brandishes a baseball bat)
- After his review of the second season, he lays with a shirt that says "Yankee Voice" (A reference to the episode where New Direction wore shirts about stuff they didn't like about themselves), and then dreams where he sings an off-key version of Bon Jovi's "It's My Life".
The Mighty Ducks
- The beginning of his crossover with Hewy Toonmore. As Chris is ranting about the emails he got for his Glee review, Hewy cuts in.Hewy: Don't you know that every reviewer has a remote to cut into others video feeds?
- After Toonmore breaks in, Chris decides to let him do a crossover, and let him pick the review.
- Hewy: "The Mighty Ducks."Chris: "Cartoon critic named after the greatest band ever say what?"
Tom and Jerry
- Perkins and Cecil actually take over for the Tom and Jerry review.
- And Chris appearing at the end, asking if they messed with his equipment.
It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown
- "Really, do Time Lords design all the pet homes in this world or what?"
Charlie Brown's All Stars
- His fit over the climax of Charlie Brown's All Stars, where Charlie Brown fails to slide into home plate.Chris: AHHHHHH!!!!! (Falls to floor) WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHHY?!?!?!?!Perkins: Woah. Didn't think he'd take it so hard.Cecil: Compared to the tantrum he threw after the World Series, this is nothing!!
- "PAULY SHORE WOULD CALL THESE JERKS ANNOYING!!!!!"
- At the beginning of his review, he gets the DVD in the mail. Given the stuff he has watched, he says it "can't be worse than what I've watched over the past year, right?" Three seconds later? "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!". One scene later? He is taking pills to dull the pain.
- When one of the main characters first appear, the appearance is so sudden and startling it leaves Chris yelling "What the—what—what—what?!?!".
- Due to the similarities between the characters to what he calls "Dr. Seuss rejects", along with the sexual innuendo he declares that if Audrey Geisel saw this, that she would give The Cat in the Hat movie a pass.
- "Oh, and Jett's voiced by Pee-Wee Herman. Seriously. I think it was while recording this that Paul Reubens began wishing he kept it in his pants."
- He calls the titular Groovenians crosses between cyclopses and "Dairy Queen ice cream cones".
- Hewy Toonmore shows up, trying to warn him about the show.
- Chris: You're too late.Hewy Toonmore: (beat) You poor, unfortunate bastard.
- "And tomorrow is another day." "And I'm thirsty anyway, so bring on the rain. Just SHUT UP!"
- "AND WHY IS THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT ON THE SHIP A THREE-BREASTED WOMAN VOICED BY RUPAUL?!?!?!!"
You're the Greatest, Charlie Brown
- An Overly Long Gag, but "Marcie Loves Chuck", even going as far as to admit that it is a bit of a cliché.
- His reaction to Snoopy actually losing an event"What am I going to do with all my Benji Stu jokes?"
- "I know I'm no better for enjoying her misery.... AND I DON'T CARE!"
- After Marcie wins the Junior Olympics due to Snoopy and The Rival getting tangled up
- "Yeah, I guess WE would have loved to see that, too. cough*Show, Don't Tell*Cough.
Ed, Edd n Eddy: "If It Smells Like an Ed"
- Declaring that Ed acts like his parents "dropped him on his head as a baby. Several times. For fun."
- Stating that Edd's nickname, Double D, is one of the most blatant innuendos to get past the censors since "Chokey Chicken".
- "NURSE! GET ME A BLUE CRAYOLA, STAT!"
- After making a mention of Catbert:Cecil: Oh, really? An evil cat character?Chris: The dog wants to take over the world! This show is equal opportunity!
- When a plot point revolves around an all-you-can-eat buffet, and Dilbert's father refuses to leave until he's had all he can eat: "Oh sure, it works for him, but I try it, and I get banned from every Ryan's in the state! Maybe the sleeping bag was a bit much."
- At the end, he declares that centerfolds are more feminist then the aforementioned strip, because women take advantage of men's desires and make money off of it. He then takes his stack of magazines into the bathroom to "contribute to the feminist movement".
- During the argument between Cathy and her mother: "It's like switching between MSNBC and Fox News. Eventually you find out they're both full of crap."
- "This story is about a whiny, petulant woman who obsesses about one man, and now says she's sick and tired of nice guys? Stephenie Meyer was a Cathy fan, wasn't she?!"
- His review begins with him waking up two days late (this episode was released on Wednesday instead of its traditional Monday release), where it is revealed that his hatred of the accidental anti-feminism in Cathy caused him to find some real admirable women and had Jeannie send him to London, causing him to have photos of him and Hope Solo on the internet somewhere, and having his passport possibly revoked.
- After a joke about the Ku Klux Klan in the final episode, three words. Three simple words. "CUT THE FEED!" One scene later, he is seen messed up, with a baseball hat in his hands, and state that he is lucky to have a Genie to repair the result of his frustrations afterward. One of the darkest, and yet the funniest, scenes in the show.
- "Ah yes, the baby photo albums. How quaint and nostalgic. Some of you might be too young to remember this, but back in the dark prehistoric times, all pictures had to be printed on glossy, easily-damaged paper, and easily stored in these huge, cumbersome books. One of the greatest fears of man back then was when parents would pull out the giant tomes and insist their friends look at the countless monotonous images of their kids as ugly little brats, or the many boring sites they visited on vacation. And that's not even getting into the horror that was slideshows."
- "Wow, willing to step away from a child before he's a year old. Jenny's got a lot more restraint than most comic strip moms."
- This:Jenny: sat down beside her, and frightened Miss Muffet away.Marvin: Spider? Gruesome. Is she sure this nursery rhyme is G-rated?
- "So I find a bunch of horny girls molesting boys disturbing but I find an old woman beating an old man hilarious. I should really get help!"
For Better or for Worse
- "Seriously, are all comic strip boys born without the cootie-fearing gene? See, this is why we needed a FoxTrot cartoon show."
- The review begins with Chris getting pizza delivered from the P.O.ed Pizza Guy."Nice guy, but sure he can do something about that potty mouth."
- His Rule of Three Tempting Fate when referring to how it ripped off Scooby-Doo.
- His final take: "At least it's not Ctrl+Alt+Del?"
- On seeing "Fangpuss", he breaks down sobbing.
Homeboys in Outer Space
- Also an Awesome and Heartwarming moment, but he dresses up in a tie and a coat."I'm the Rowdy Reviewer, and I remember it because I have no life."
- It takes 5 seconds for him to realize that he will hate the show, declaring it a record.
- "I think I can hear Sydney Poitier, Danny Glover, and James Earl Jones all banging their heads of tables together!"
Electra Woman and Dyna Girl
- Almost every single moment of the last four minutes, in which Rowdy fights Malicia.
- "You're going to kill me with your harpy voice and exposition?"
- "What have you used this power for? To bring life to a bunch of stuffed cat-dolls?"
- This exchangeJeannie: I sent Malicia to a far-away, desolate place devoid of life or civilization!Chris: So New Jersey? Yeah, Oklahoma's not far enough!
- "If this was the first thing Stuart Snyder and Robert Scorcher saw when they took over Cartoon Network, no wonder they wanted to destroy that network!"
- He declares that W.O.O.H.P. is a better acronym for crime fighting then L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. is for evil.
- His look of disgust at some of the nudity.
10 Worst South Park Episodes
- It begins with an intervention that Chris is going too far deep with this one. It ends with Chris getting bombarded by the trolls.
- "Everything starts changing on [Stan], from his parents breaking up to president Obama getting replaced by a duck? Who wrote this, Stephan Pastis?"
- His critique of South Park-styled commentary, mentioning that the current episodes of The Simpsons and Wreck-It Ralph are funnier than South Park. Also doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
- The caption of the beginning of the episode, mocking his own poor production quality and how he does not have a life.
- During the first part, his mockery of the show is interrupted by Mark and Hewy who each thought they were going to do collaborative reviews.
- Chris's summary of the show: "THIS SHOW WAS TOTALLY BOGUS!!!"
- "Next thing you know, they'll commission a book series by Stephenie Meyer!"
- "Morons can exude energy all of the time! Just look at Dumb and Dumber! Or any presidential debate!"
- " wait, an adult is on-camera in a Peanuts cartoon? And we can actually understand what he's saying?! What backwards alternate universe is this special taking place in?!?"
- The list of fake songs performed by Snoopy and his siblings.
- "They supposedly have a sarcastic cousin living up in Rhode Island, but they don't really like to talk about him too much". This is funnier when you notice that the beginning of "Rhode to Road Island" is a parody of "Snoopy's Reunion". Even FUNNIER when you watch his review of "Not All Dogs Go To Heaven" and shows his disdain for Brian's behavior.
- This:Sally: What's-his-name is right. You can't go home.
- The beginning of the review, where Chris has been stupefied by watching the show and needs to drink "Liquid IQ" to do the review.
- Then, he suggests the viewers that the show is so mind-numbingly awful that they should pause the review, go get "take out from Long John Silver's" and come back once they've got enough brain food to endure the show being reviewed.
- His reaction to a scene where one of the main characters gets attacked by a guard parrot and throws it at a wall:"GET ME PETA."
Someday You'll Find Her, Charlie Brown
- "I bet when Charlie Brown grew up, he spent as much money as possible at the strip club, ...not that I would know anything about that kind of thing"
- He points out that it's been his trend to "celebrate" the anniversary of his first review, Stripperella, by reviewing either another Pamela Anderson show (Stacked) or another show from Spike TV's cartoon block (Gary the Rat). He then claims that he has to "bite the bullet" and review Ren & Stimpy "Adult Party Cartoon". Cue him being told from off-camera that they couldn't procure the episodes in time, followed by a shot of Rowdy rolling on the floor, laughing gleefully.
Glee Season 3
- The first several seconds after the theme song is just him with a Jaw Drop, and then him yelling "What happened?!"
- He tries to recap the entire 2nd season in a way similar to the opening of every episode, and fails.
- After New Directions does a song relating to The Wizard of Oz, the camera jitters around, with Chris falling off his chair."Good night! You caused a freaking earthquake from how many times Judy Garland turned over in her grave!"
- His reaction to "The Glee Holiday Spectacular""OK! That's it! This show is now officially TROLLING the geek community! (gets lightsaber and NES gun out) The war... is ON!"
- "(The writers) should either watch the previous episode, or lay off the funny brownies!"
The Simpsons: "The Principal and the Pauper"
- When going into Skinner's past, he realizes the comparisons between Skinner's past and "Born in the USA".Principal Skinner: They gave me a choice: Jail, the army, or apologizing to the judge and the old lady. Of course, if I'd known there was a war going on, I probably would've apologized.Rowdy: So, in other words...Bruce Springteen: (played over footage of the flashback) Got in a little hometown jam...
So they put a rifle in my hand...
Sent me off to a foreign land...
To go and kill the yellow man...
- "Now I have to wait for the deluge of comments comparing me to Comic Book Guy!"
- "Mmmmmm... processed horse innards!"
- The entire review!"Welcome to TV Trash! Reality TV sucks! See you next time!" (roll credits)
- This was an April Fools' joke
- "If I make one more year's worth of Captain's Log entries, I can have a book."
- "The stupid is spewing out of these characters like Mount Vesuvius!"
- "I was imagining Billie Jean King coming in out of nowhere and backhanding her with a tennis racket!"
Adventures in Wonderland
- Chris remarks that occasionally, surprises come out of stuff ordered second hand. Flash back to years earlier."What a ripoff! I paid $200 for this replica Jeannie bottle, and they did not even take the time to PAINT the damn thing! You know, I'm going to pull the cork on this thing right now, and if a real genie doesn't pop out, those guys are going to be hearing from my lawyer!"
- "Unless [the white rabbit on rollerskates] is going to perform a duet with Olivia Newton-John, I ain't interested!"
- He decides to take some time out to relax. Then, he realises that the show has songs. He just says "No" a few times, flatly.
- His reaction to Winnie-the-Pooh in live action.
Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain
- Chris questions who would think combining Pinky And The Brain with Elmyra was a good idea.(As a Warner Bros. executive with a sideways hat and a deliberately misspelled "Warner Executive" tag) "Durrr, I think it brilliant!!!"
- He was about to rant about Brain choosing spending two weeks without Elmyra as opposed to actually going into space and controlling the world via a satellite—but then he realized that that made perfect sense.
- The call-back to The Groovenians review at the beginning.Chris: You know if you open this, it's going to reveal something SO godawful it'll drive you into near insanity. So why are you gonna open it? Because I'm an internet critic, it's my duty! (walks back into house) NNNNYAAAAAAAaaaaauuuuggghhh!!!
- His criticism of the show wasting what would've been not-so-bad of a concept.Chris: And you know, THAT might've worked with the right concept! They could've had Pinky and the Brain vs. Freakazoid! Pinky and the Brain join the DC Universe and battle Superman and Batman! ANYTHING! BUT! THIS!!!!!Brain: Pinky and I are being held hostage by some HORRIBLE little girl whose name escapes me right now.Elmyra: (pounding him on the head with her fist) E-L-M-Y-R-A! I'm Elmyra, silly cranky big-head mousy!Chris: (crosses fingers) DEMON!!!! DEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!
- "I can't say what'd I like to see HAPPEN to you without Cartoon Child Services coming after me!"
- Chris declares he will not be stopped in his attempt to find the sender of the "Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain" DVD. Cue him realizing that it is August, his traditional theme month.
- His discomfort about Baby Sinclair being puppeteered by Kevin Clash. note
Denver, the Last Dinosaur
- "Something sealed up in a container for 60 million years? Eh, sounds like half the stuff in my freezer."
The Land Before Time/Dink the Little Dinosaur
- Saying that he gives Dink the Little Dinosaur a pass even though it contains one of his Pet Peeve Tropes namely, averting Girls Have Cooties since "it's set in the Stone Age, and I'm pretty sure cooties weren't discovered until sometime around the Dark Ages."
- He sets the pencil-esque opening to Dino-Riders with "Take on Me" by A-ha.
- The basic premise (aliens trying to learn about humanity) and baseball episode of Dinosaucers give off some strange vibes. He then makes the connection; the show is similar to Galactica 1980.(on seeing the footage of the Galactica 1980 episode "Spaceball") "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BURN THAT FOOTAGE!"(on the similarities between Dinosaucers and Galactica 1980) "My doctor says that I could get BRAIN DAMAGE from taking out my frustrations! (takes out baseball bat)
- When he sees the heroes and villains of Dino-Riders fighting with armed dinosaurs, his mouth hangs open and we get a caption that says AWESOMENESS METER OVERLOAD.
- Upon finding out that the jersey wasn't destroyed, he assumes that the kids are still entering athletes' bodies today."But they better not have been in Nelson Cruz during the 2011 World Series!"note
- After the title character throws a temper tantrum: "I haven't seen that much childish whining since well, since the 2011 World Series. And no, you can't see it. I burned all the photographic evidence."
- "Nope! No, it doesn't work that way. You can not make your main character an asshole who talks down to everyone, encourages pedophilia, and then try to make us sympathetic to him with a poop joke! Go back to middle school English class and TRY AGAIN!"
- After a sex tape between the title character and his elderly principal is mentioned, Chris smiles quietly for several seconds, then walks all the way to a train station and lets out a drawn-out scream. Cue the ad break, and then Chris writing a letter reading "Dear producers of Stripperella: I am so very, very sorry "
- "I could play the Robot Chicken 'This isn't funny!' gag in a loop 50 times in a row, and it still wouldn't convey how unfunny that is."
- The ending joke:Chris: I don't know if I could hear anything that could make my day even worse after this.Perkins Did you hear Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain is getting a DVD release?Chris: GHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! (brandishes a baseball bat)
You're a Good Sport, Charlie Brown
- "A charity dirt-bike race run by kids? Does the Charlie Brown universe take place in Angel Grove?"
- His over-the-top reaction to Charlie finally winning the race.
Mork & Mindy: "Mork in Wonderland"
- While reviewing the Mork & Mindy episode "Mork in Wonderland", Exidor states that everyone is getting bigger after seeing Mork shrunken from the cold medicine he took, which causes Rowdy to have a moment of Self-Deprecation where he squishes his paunch.
- His Rapid Fire explanation of what's wrong with the conspiracy which also doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
South Park: "Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants"
- After the boys are captured by the Taliban, Osama Bin Laden begins recording when the review swaps the footage with footage from Family Guy, which causes Rowdy to scold Perkins for doing that.
- After a character says "Will you look at that snow? Never got that in California", Rowdy frowns, then cues a picture of a snowy landscape captioned "Fresno, CA". "That's Hollywood for you, thinking that California doesn't go any farther north than Bakersfield."
- His pointing out that the film is so cheap that the parents are crammed into a twin-size insted of queen-size bed.
- This:Rowdy: You know, we're about halfway through this movie, so just so I know, are we gonna have much more stupid coming forth in this thing?Caption: LOTS MORE STUPID!!!!Rowdy: OK, I'm gonna go make some eggnog laced with Liquid IQ to get through this thing. We'll be right back.
- Rowdy's parody of the theme from The Love Boat."Supertrain! Soon we'll be melting into goo!"
- "About the only thing dumber is to expect to make all that money back via internet ad revenue! Speaking of which, we'll be right back."
- Rowdy's jabs at the Cloud Cuckoolander owner of the company that built Supertrain."You are the second-dumbest old fart I've heard open his pie-hole this week. You should thank Red McCombs for not being first!!"
Glee Season 4
- Moore declares his impartial method of judging the music in the show... whenever a song comes on, he throws on his iPod and listens to 80s Rock. The second he learns that "Call Me Maybe" will be the first song, he plops on his headphones and sings "Living on a Prayer".
- He rejects the typical opening narration from Glee to start the episode.
- "(Finn's return) was so soon, it wasn't even available in the pool!"
- "If (going to Washington" means you'll be gone from the show, who do I have to bribe to get you on the committee?" Complete with Chris ripping out his chequebook.
- "(Brittney's fondue show) might be more entertaining than The Irate Gamer's!"
- "Sue's hatred of New Directions might just be a tic of hers... much like my hatred of the NFL."
- When the episode "Guilty Pleasures" makes a Small Wonder reference, Chris wonders which is sadder: Glee pandering to nerds with a reference to an obscure '80s sitcom, or that he knows they got the reference wrong by putting VIKI's control box in her chest when it's supposed to be in her back.
Ren and Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon
- "Who am I kidding, a barf dumpster wouldn't be enough for this show..."
- After discussing the end of the second episode, the show cuts to Chris calling an insane asylum to get John K committed.
- He also declares that the horse in that episode is his favorite character in the show.
- Professor Stupidiot is just one long love letter to Doctor Doofenschmirtz.
- Rowdy's faces of shock and disgust after hearing/seeing the tasteless jokes.
- "Gee, television really DOES encourage violence! I now want to hunt down these writers and chop off their fingers so they can never TYPE AGAIN!"
10 Worst Commercials
- "HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead " (grabs baseball bat) "How about I apply THIS directly to your forehead instead?!"
- At the beginning of the review, The Wrestling Mark is depressed over the events of Wrestlemania.
- Close to the end, Mark barges in, blasting Rowdy for almost taking on E's coverage of wrestler's private lives.
- As Rowdy lists the Kardashian spin-offs, he gets to Khloe and Lamar when he's wearing Mavericks clothes and snarls, "Why YES, these ARE the two I hate the most from that family! What ever made you guess?"
Hulk Hogan's Rock-N-Wrestling
- In lieu of Rowdy C (who disappeared off of the face of the Earth around the same time as Professor Stupidiot), the review is done by The Wrestling Mark.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: "Dreamlighting"
- The entire review is done by "The Slacker Sis", played by Chris's real life sister. The review proceeds to take some stabs at the Recap/Review-type webshow, as well as Chris himself.
- "Welcome to TV Trash. (beat) REALLY? THAT'S the best intro my brother could come up with?"
- "That robot will take away thousands of jobs. Let's hope the Koch Brothers don't see this!"
- Immediately afterwards, after an unfortunate camera angle: "Let's hope Roman Polanski doesn't see this!"
- "Who'd this guy learn robotics from? Dr Frankenstein?"
- "Ah, who knows, maybe robots are naturally snarky. They certainly will be in the 31st century."
- When referencing Michael Jordan's Techno Babble: "Yeah, let's see them train you to be a superhero over at Duke!"
- Regarding the bizarre intro to the live-action segments of ProStars (which involve one-liners, '80s animation and lots of flipping around):Rowdy: When the best that I can say is that it's still better than Club Mario, that ain't good.
- Then, when the titular ProStars say their catch phrase "It's game time!", Rowdy points his finger and is about to say something...then stops in his tracks, and says "Nope, still not worse than 'Let's get warty'."
- "WOW, 30 seconds in and you've reinforced just about every negative stereotype concerning men! Could you make me hate you any quicker?!"
He's a Bully, Charlie Brown
- When Charlie Brown wins the marble contest, Rowdy can't help but sing a slightly rewritten version of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia".
- The Cold Open for the review has Chris simply looking traumatized, before pulling up the DVD box and pointing at it.Chris: "WHAT THE FUUUUU-"(cue theme music)
- He is unable to finish his sentences immediately afterwards.
- After the opening credits to Electra Elf...Krusty the Clown: ...what the hell was THAT?Chris: A gateway to hell, Krusty!
- On the topic of the adult humor spread throughout—"SUBTLETY? WHAT'S THAT?"
- "I need Liquid IQ...NOW!!!!" (falls over)
- At the end of the review, he hopes for some good news to start 2015. Perkins announces that Brickleberry has gotten the axe. Cue him partying on his couch, to the tune of "Celebration".
- Rowdy's reaction to who's playing Susie Quinn.
- The beginning of the episode has Rowdy struck comatose thanks to watching this show. "Get me a gallon of Liquid IQ and a funnel!"
- "[Mr. Black and Mr. White] would get pantsed by Inspector Clouseau, Maxwell Smart, Inspector Gadget, and Frank Drebin!"
- "Even I take a break on the high volume more often than this show! But don't expect too much of that in this review, because I don't think my rage will allow it."
- The series of "D'OH!"s Chris makes regarding G4's failures are utterly perfect.
- From his analysis of The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap, his reaction to the presence of the Tingle group:Chris: No no no no, no-no-no-no, OH MY GOD, THEY'RE MULTIPLYING!