Funny / Haruhi Suzumiya

aka: Suzumiya Haruhi

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

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The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

• Part I:
  • Kyon's first meeting with Mikuru when Haruhi demonstrates one of the reasons she was chosen by groping her from behind. Mikuru's whimpering only makes it funnier, no matter how wrong that sounds.
• Part II:
  • "I'll tell everyone that you geeks on ganged up on her and f*** her.". This kinda runs into Your Mileage May Vary territory though depending on your standpoint.
  • After Haruhi and Asahina change into the bunny-girl costumes for the first time Yuki makes Kyon pick up the discarded cloths and undergarments.
• The dub has superb bloopers and delivery thanks to the English cast just being that good. Crispin Freeman in particular can do great ad-libbing, which is perfect for a sarcastic Unreliable Narrator. His various takes on the same line is one of the saving graces of Endless Eight.
• Part IV:
  • I for-for-forgot my bag.. HUAAAH! Wa-Wa-Wa-Wasuremono was also funny, so much as being taken to memetic status.
  • Probably only in the English dub however, but earlier in part IV, while Asakura is on stabbatical.
    Asakura: Your death is the perfect way to make Harui Suzumiya take some sort of action, you see. Finally, I'll be able to observe a huge explosion of data. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
    Kyon: Tell me about it!
  • Even death cannot scare Kyon to give up his snarking: "Haruhi Haruhi! Man, she's popular." Oh yes she is.
  • "What is a 'glasses fetish'?"
  • There's a set of Hilarious Outtakes that makes this even better. The dub actors were clearly having a lot of fun.
    Kyon: I don't really have a glasses fetish anyway.
    Yuki: What sort of fetish do you have?
  • And afterwards, Kyon's first meeting with Future Mikuru, in which she showed Kyon her mole was accompanied by Kyon's immediate exclamation of "SUPERSIZE ME!" Never, ever fails to elicit laughter. Even funnier when you realise it's the actor's joke. In Japanese, he just says "huge". The scene's still funny, though, especially when Future Mikuru realises he doesn't know yet.
  • On the blooper reel, Kyon's reaction during the scene is "SCHWING!"
• Part VI: "Why does that folder have my name on it, huh?"
  • "Gah! I'm screwed!"
• In the episode "Someday in the Rain," Every instance of Yuki 'convinently' blocking the camera view everytime Haruhi strips Mikuru.
  • From the dub:
  Haruhi: This is so~ fun! Takin' all your clothes off!
  • Every single line of dialogue you hear out of Yuki's book is spoken by (in the dub) Crispin Freeman, Wendee Lee, Johnny Yong Bosch, and Michelle Ruff and it's utterly glorious. You can tell who's who by either the voice (JYB, Freeman, and Lee) or by the inflection (Ruff uses the same inflection she uses as Yuki, but a different voice). Everyone is playing a Large Ham. Here's nearly all of the dialogue from Yuki's book, transcripted for your convenience:
  Crispin Freeman: Ah-HA, so YOU are the culprit!... No! The red player has picked number 14! Very well, I wonder how that's going to affect the game today! NEXT QUESTION!
  Wendee Lee: Amazing, just by showing up she's changed the atmosphere on the stage! But she seems completely different, doesn't she? She's not the same as she was a few minutes ago! What a terrifying little girl!
  Johnny Yong Bosch: TANMEN NOODLE SET! FRIED RICE SET!! TENPURA (something) AND SOBA RICE SET!
  Crispin Freeman: Young man? AAAACE! Middle age? AAAACE! Retirement? AAAACE! Non-Promoted? AAAACE! Next Year? AAAACE! Unfortunate? AAAACE! I LOVE IT AFTER ALL! AAAACE!
  Wendee Lee: Why don't you try and do your best to beat me? Bring it on! What you guys have done is snappy, crackley, and TOTALLY OBVIOUS TO US! He looks like a child, but he's really subtle on the inside, a powerful ally ALL OVER TOWN!
  Johnny Yong Bosch: Now, now NOW NOW, can YOOOOOU not see this CREST that I HOOOOLD?
  Wendee Lee: Because... I... am... ZE QU~EEEEEEN of FRANCE!
  Crispin Freeman: Now that hit the spot!
  Johnny Yong Bosch: YOU'VE STILL GOT A WAYS TO GO!
  Wendee Lee: *sings indistinct Opera*
  (cut to Kyon on the train)
  (cut back to Yuki reading)
  Johnny Yong Bosch: HELLO, we're the Arctic Sea Ice Caddies!
  Michelle Ruff: (something ending in "ag")
  Johnny Yong Bosch: You know Yuki, you're as SEXY as ever!
  Michelle Ruff: Where are you looking, pervert? I'm callin' the cops.
  Johnny Yong Bosch: Starting with a low blow? I feel like I've been accused of groping people on a crammed train!
  Michelle Ruff: Yeah, I'd say; it's winter now.
  Johnny Yong Bosch: Right, it's winter! And speaking of winter-
  Michelle Ruff: Baseball's off season.
  Johnny Yong Bosch: Don't go in there, Yuki! Why, even the WBC is shaking in their cleats!
  Michelle Ruff: I'm looking forward to seeing who gets the pink slip.
  Johnny Yong Bosch: That's a really dark way of enjoying it, but okay! Well, you know, it's almost Christmas, isn't it!
  Michelle Ruff: I want to eat a hot pot.
  Johnny Yong Bosch: Right!! You can't do without hot pots in winter!
  Michelle Ruff: What do you put in your hot pot?
  Johnny Yong Bosch: Let's see! Nappa cabbage, chicken, pork, leets, natto, tofu! Well, what about you, Yuki!!?
  Michelle Ruff: Brown bear.
  Johnny Yong Bosch: WOW!! Yuki, you're a hunter?! Even (mafia?) would cry and run away!
  Michelle Ruff: Yeah, but I think about how the bear feels. I fee sorry for it, I lose my appetite.
  Johnny Yong Bosch: Then don't put it in to your hot pot to begin with, woman!
  Michelle Ruff: I'll play the part of the brown bear.
  Johnny Yong Bosch: What, you will?
  Michelle Ruff: And you play the pot.
  Johnny Yong Bosch: HERE IT COMES, FOLKS! THE WORST COMEDY SKIT IN HISTORY! Get ready!
  

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya

• The scene where we find out where Haruhi plans to get funds: Take it from the Literary Club budget.
  Kyon: But that's the Literary Club's money, not yours!
  Haruhi: [innocent voice] Yuki? Can I have your money?
  [Yuki looks up]
  [Yuki turns to Haruhi]
  [Yuki pauses]
  Yuki: Yes.
• One from the second episode of the Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya in the anime counts as a Funny Background Event. An unseen kid asks their mother while the SOS Brigade are shooting a commercial, 'Momma, what's that?'. His mother's response? 'Sssh. Those are crazy people.'. Kyon's embarrassed reaction makes the moment priceless.
• Shamisen, right after Haruhi granted it with the ability to talk, Kyon's conversation with the said cat suddenly becomes a deeply insightful philosophising on how beings communicate to each other with futility. Hilarity ensues.
  Koizumi: You know he's got a point...
  Kyon: No, the cat does not have a point!
• Part 3. Koizumi asks Haruhi if there's anyone else being cast. Haruhi was thrilled with the idea so he rewards him with more lines. On top of having to memorize lines for his own class play, being a kissup finally bites him back.
  Koizumi: Is anyone else going to be in the movie or just the three of us?
  Kyon: (Thinking) Don't ask stupid questions.
  Haruhi: You've got a point, three characters might not be enough. Thanks for the heads up Koizumi, I almost missed that one. You just got more screentime.
  [Koizumi twitches]
  [Beat]
  Koizumi: (With a less confident smile) Oh wow, thank you...
  Kyon: (Thinking) Serves you right. You go stirring up a hornet's nest, you get what you deserve.
• Yuki's explanations during the Mikuru Beam incident count as a deliberate joke. She stretches it waaaay out. And her pedantic corrections of Kyon make this entire scene hilarious.
  Kyon: Was Asahina seriously firing beams from her eyes?
  Yuki: Not a particle projection cannon. Concentrated light.
  [...]
  Kyon: The problem we have here is that Asahina has been shooting off heat rays.
  Yuki: Not heat rays. Photon laser.
• The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, part five, in the anime. Itsuki's proposal to convince Haruhi the bizarre events going on lately are completely logical?
  Itsuki: There is one ending that can explain any nonsensical plot...that can wrap up every little detail with ease.
  Kyon: Well? Let's hear it.
  Itsuki: It Was All Just A Dream.
  [everyone stares at him]
  Itsuki: I'm not kidding, that's the ending I was talking about.
  • It's his rare lapse out of his usual cheery and/or calm voice that really makes this line perfect.
• The opening scene of episode 10 in the new season. SOS Brigade sign suddenly moving at impossible speeds during a relay race? It's Yuki. Even Haruhi has trouble believing her eyes. Koizumi's mention about the track team's likely broken spirit (as they're seen walking past behind him) makes it all the more funny.
  • While not mentioned much in the anime, it becomes a plot point later in the novels that the SOS Brigade was never recognized as an official club. So they shouldn't even be racing. Which makes this even funnier.

The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya

The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya

• When training for the baseball episode....
  • Yuki is sent outfield, where she expressionlessly and unerringly catches every ball about to hit her... and only the balls about to hit her.
  • When Kyon tells Yuki to go pick up the ball and throw it, she kind of jogs up to it, picks it up, and rests it on her palm, looking at it, before looking up at Kyon questioningly. Adorable and funny.
  • Haruhi declares that she will bat one thousand times. Later, Itsuki says how amazing it is she that did indeed bat one thousand times. Kyon dryly remarks that it is amazing that he counted them all.
• Yuki activating "homing mode" and the subsequent home run montage.
• HARUHI DOES EARZ
• Kyon guessing that Haruhi's... weird signals... are an attempt to lower the opposing team's "magic points".
• If you're listening to the conversations in the background during Haruhi and Kyon's discussion on team order, you can hear an interesting story about how Taniguchi and Kunikida became friends...
• When Kyon completely fails to hit the ball:
  Kyon: I've dishonored my family... [hangs head in shame]
• Yuki's awkward run after her home run
• The final part where Yuki slowly walks over to the ball, and when she throws it to Haruhi so hard that her glove flies off, and is caught by Itsuki, who jogs up to the stunned player and gets him out.

Remote Island Syndrome

• The Beach Episode. They were playing with a beach ball in the water. Mikuru hits it into the air, and while several people are going to catch it, Kyon exclaims (in his head) "Too many beach balls!"
• From that same episode, "I love you."
• Yuki still reading her book while waterskiing.
• Kyon meets a snake. Even better with the subtitles turned on◊.
• In Remote Island Syndrome, Yuki's literal interpretation of Haruhi's orders about the door counts.
  Kyon: Maybe that was Nagato's way of playing a joke on us.
• Kyon's sister tries to sneak onto the trip as well by stowing away in Kyon's luggage. He figures it out immediately, but takes her along anyway.

The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya

• The opening musical-credit sequence, with (dialogue-free) shots of Kyon warming up in front of the heater. Then, one by one, the rest of the SOS Brigade start jostling for room...and by the end, the pecking order is firmly established, with Kyon reduced to trying to warm himself by the computer.
• The way Taniguchi turning down Kyon's invitation to the SOS Christmas party is hilarious in hindsight when it's later revealed that his girlfriend is Kuyoh Suoh. Who mistook him for Kyon.
• Having just found Alt!Haruhi, Kyon now has to bring her to the Literature club room but has to get Haruhi to somehow disguise herself. After only a second of hesitation, he calmly asks her to put her long hair into a ponytail. Cue audience laughter.
• When Kyon wakes up, and then wakes up Haruhi what is his reaction to her in what is set up to be a Heartwarming Moment?
  Kyon: [small-wave] Hey.
  [Itsuki facepalms in the background at this]
• Caterpillar-Haruhi. Caterpillar-Haruhi falling over several times, no less.
  Haruhi: Let me know when you're gonna wake up BEFORE you wake up!

The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya

Endless Eight

• Setting up the third Endless Eight episode to be the end of the "Groundhog Day" Loop only to end it with nothing resolved leaving it to a fourth episode. Not particularly funny in the show but the reactions of people watching seems to have cemented Kyoani's Kadokawa's status as master level trolls.
  • Also, Itsuki's explanation of what's going on in the third "Endless Eight" episode:
  Itsuki: We've entered an endless recursion of time.
  Kyon: What?
  Itsuki: We've entered an endless recursion of time... We've entered an endless recursion of time.
  • Also from Endless Eight: in the later loops, when Kyon gets a call late at night:
    Kyon: [sleepy] Hello?
    Mikuru: Uuueeeeeeeeeh...
    Kyon: Gah! [juggles phone]
  • One thing that made the dubbed version of Endless Eight bearable was Kyon's even more awesome than usual dialogue:
  [epic voice] "Restrain thyself! Canst thou not see the No Diving sign!?"
  [sleepy] "The number you have tried to reach has been dis— Gah!" [juggles phone]
  "So, I come up behind Haruhi and say 'I lo— eeuuurgh'!"
  [sipping Mikuru's tea] "It's strawberry-licious!"
  [again, sipping Mikuru's tea] "It's so bitter, may I have another?"
  "My turn! I summon my 'veto' card!"
  • Hell, the one time his phone rings his only response is a screaming fit of Angrish
  • At least once (in the seventh episode of the Endless Eigh) in response to Haruhi's "prize" of getting to be Brigade Leader, he just says a simple, deadpan "eww."
  • Each different inflection Crispin Freeman does to his "Next time, call me!" line regarding Koizumi calling Asahina, as well as each minor change in what he actually says.
  • In one episode the group gets on a spinning playground set and Kyon's narration starts sound queasy as it spins.
  • In the final episode Kyon is almost hit in the face with a firework
  • Kyon's speech about doing homework can be funny due to it's intensity and how much of a scene he makes in the middle of the restaurant.

The Day of Sagittarius

• Dynamic Entryyyyy! Hell, that was hilarious!
• From that same episode: Anyone accepting defeat will be punished by running ten laps around the school, naked! And you'll have to yell "Green Martians are chasing me!" for the whole ten laps!

The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya

Live Alive

• The shot of Kyon rocking out to "Lost My Music" in impeccable Deadpan Snarker style.
• From the same episode, the look on Taniguchi's face upon seeing Mikuru in her maid outfit. Made even funnier in the dub where you can hear him screaming and laughing maniacally
• In one scene, whilst Kyon is monologing, a bratty kid screams at a man in a teddy bear outfit for giving him a non-red balloon. His mother's response - "Shut up or I'll leave you here!"

The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00

• The Nonindicative First Episode is hilarious, but a particularly good scene from it is when Kyon's pet cat starts talking (in a manly voice, to boot, despite being a calico) and you can hear Kyon shouting off-screen for it to stop. Yuki bops the cat on the head with her "magic wand" and "explains" in a complete dead pan that she was using ventriloquism.
• Mikuru firing a gun is also pretty funny as is the conspicuous Male Gaze.
• "Mi...Mi...MIKURU BEAM!!"
• Funny as it is. If you know what actually happened during filming according to the light novels, it's HILARIOUS.
• Try listening to the Mikuru theme song without cracking up.
• Kyon's adlib during the Koizumi/Asahina Almost Kiss scene:
  Kyon: If your mouth gets any closer to her, someone standing off camera is gonna step into frame and kick your ass, dammit!
• Kyon's narration after the break when Mikuru was changing clothes
  Kyon: We didn't film her so don't bother asking for the footage, there isn't any.
  • And it's funnier because, knowing Kyon, he's probably lying.
• Kyon trying to figure out plot details.
  Kyon: Aaaaand... when in doubt, pan to the left.
• Kyon's flabbergasted reaction after watching the film is just PRICELESS.

Where did the Cat Go?

• The entire "cast's" utter failure at invoking suspension of disbelief.
  • The premise of the script involves the assumption that (a) there is only one key to the room, (b) the door is locked, and (c) the key to the door is in the room. Then Arakawa pulls out a key and unlocks the door so they don't have to bash it down again.
    Arakawa: Please ignore this key that should not exist.
  • They enter the room and Keiichi is "dead".
    Keiichi: Hey guys. I've been stabbed again.
    Haruhi: Can you tell us who did it?
    Keiichi: I can't say. I'm supposed to be dead.

The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya

• Tsuruya spouting off innuendo at Kyon every time he shows up at her house to check on Mikiru.

The Indignation of Haruhi Suzumiya

Editor in Chief

• Mikuru walks in on Haruhi sitting on top of prone Kyon, trying to rip off his jacket, jumps to the obvious conclusion, and runs away shouting apologies.

The Dissociation of Haruhi Suzumiya

• Yuki (as the de facto president of the literary club) is forced to give a speech at the freshmen assembly in order to attract new members. She reads a long-winded essay titled "The Inefficiency of Language and the Transmission of Data." Translation: "This is all a waste of time."

The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya

• Kyon has to go back to the clubroom to meet with Yasumi, and he needs an excuse to say to Haruhi. So he tells her, to her face, that Taniguchi had lent him a rare porno magazine, and there'd be big trouble if it were discovered in his desk. Haruhi is left speechless.
• Kyon angrily tells Kuyoh to go to the edge of the galaxy. She notes that Earth IS at the edge of the galaxy.
• After the climax, Kyon is randomly bouncing around in time. First he ends up a few years in the future, at Haruhi's college, where it's strongly implied they're going to the same school and possibly dating. The real crowner, though, comes when he ends up a month in the future, in Haruhi's room. In the middle of the night. In her bed, ON TOP OF HER (It wasn't what it looked like, but still). And let's not forget who sent him there in the first place: Haruhi. Subtle, that girl is not.

The Melancholy of Manga/Haruhi Chan

• Episode 4: Chibi + Folded Pillow = Flight. Especially since everyone who's ever sat on a folded pillow knows it's coming.
• Episode 6: Dueling cosplayers. "It's actually a bear."
• Episode 7: Kyon finds a "barrier to the heart."
• Episode 9: The Gift of the Maid II - four terminally-ill maids battle for love. Mikuru's brain shuts down. Haruhi gets to ride in an ambulance.
• Episode 12: ".....piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~"
  • From the dub, "HOLLA~"
• Episode 17: The opening. Haruhi's disturbing mental process.

Drama CD

• From the Drama CD (part 05a):
  Kyon: If you insist upon having Asahina-san dancing [for the concert], I have an idea of my own.
  Haruhi: What kind of idea? Spit it out!
  Kyon: Starting today I will call you Haru-Haru.
  Haruhi: Gah!
  Kyon: Are you still OK with it? Well, Haru-Haru? Yeah, Haru-Haru? Say something Haru-Haru.
  Haruhi: B-Bastard!!!
  Koizumi: Feel free to call me Icchan.
  Kyon: Nobody's talking to you!
  Koizumi: I see.
  Nagato: Yuki-rin.
  Kyon: D-Did you say something, Nagato?
  Nagato: No.
• Shortly after, Kyon and Koizumi, uh "rapping".

Other

• Each time Kyon Squees over Mikuru is funny. "SO CUTE!"
• A minor one, but the English translation of the fifth novel has Tsuruya address Haruhi as "Harls".
• Some of Kyon's narrations are pretty damn funny, especially his "No, but my danger sense was tingling." after Haruhi stares at him.
• Kyon Image Song Kentai life returns is basically a huge complaint about his current life and his desire to return to a normal life. More funnier the live action version.
• The English dub's blooper reel is basically one big CMOF, especially for Crispin Freeman. Some highlights:
  • During the student film recording:
  Kyon: (to Mikuru running down the street with her boobs bouncing) The fate of this neighborhood and its' mom-and-pop stores is riding on your mammaries, Mikuru!
  • Kyon at the computer.
  Kyon: Hey Nagato, are you willing to pose naked for the site?
  Yuki: Yes, I am.
  • Kyon opening the clubroom's door.
  Kyon: 'Sup, dawgs?!
  • Yuki being impaled by Asakura's attack.
  Kyon: Shishkebab?!
  • Haruhi is about to delete the folder Kyon is using to store pictures of Asahina.
  Kyon: Hey, those boobs are mine!
  • After the battle against Asakura.
  Kyon: I don't really have a glasses fetish anyway.
  Yuki: What kind of fetish do you have?
  • Koizumi's explanation of closed spaces.
  Koizuki: Suppose this closed space is a pimple that appears on Miss Suzumiya's ass, and we espers are the acne medication.
  Kyon: You know, your metaphors are hard to understand.
  Koizumi: Yeah, well, that's not all that's hard.
  • Kyon catching a baseball, crashing onto the ground face-first in the process.
  Mikuru: Oh, look! Buttcrack!
  • After Haruhi almost destroyed the world for the first time.
  Kyon: Those dreams were never so realistic before... Or maybe... Maybe I'm an animated character on a screen... Then all of you watching should go outside... and get a life!
  • After Kyon's first time travel.
  Kyon: Are you sure right now is three years ago?
  Mikuru: July 7, three years ago. Right after Anime Expo.
  Kyon: You sure about that?
  Mikuru: Pretty sure.
  • Past!Haruhi meeting Kyon for the first time.
  Haruhi: What's your name, anyway?
  Kyon: Crispin Freeman.
  • From Haruhi-chan:
    • Kyon and Koizumi, part 1:
    Koizumi: I dreamt of Mount Fuji today.
    Kyon: HOMOSEXUAL MOUNTAIN?!
    Koizumi: Is that really a way to greet your friend?
    • Kyon and Koizumi, part 2:
    Koizumi: It's good luck to have a New Year's dream with either Fuji, a hawk or an eggplant.
    Kyon: SHUT THE *BLEEP* UP!
    Koizumi: Why are you so upset?
    • Kyon and Koizumi, part 3:
    Koizumi: (about a vaguely M-shaped scribbling in the sky) That hawk's been up there the whole time.
    Kyon: That thing's a hawk?!
    Koizumi: What do you think it was, McDonald's' arches?
    • Kyon and Haruhi.
    Haruhi: I challenged the computer club to a game!
    Kyon: (completely deadpan) Go to hell.

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