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Funny / Sudden Contact

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  • Chapter 6 of the "Timeline and UED Factional Analysis", the section on the Zerg. It starts off with the author, Harris, not even bothering with a sarcastic thanks to Vice Admiral Stukov for the opportunity, just summing up "This was hard work that I don't expect you to even look at, let alone value. Just take it and leave me to my migraines." After that is a highly sarcastic and colorful description of the Zerg, which does its best to provide intelligent analysis of the Swarm, with the occasional "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer and delving into some of the various Fridge Logic aspects of the Zerg ("the humble zerg mutalisk is capable of both space and atmospheric flight through a combination of what I can only assume is psionic energy and bullshit, because wings don't fucking work in space.") And capping it all off at the end is Stukov's response:
    "Thank you for your efforts. Kindly never send anything to my desk again."
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  • And as of Chapter 7, Harris' work has been banned for over a year, though he still manages to slip some of his comments in.
  • Richard Jenkins's undercover identity that he chose for himself at Donovan Hock's party? James Bond. He even tries to do the Sean Connery accent. Rather fortunate that the James Bond movies are virtually unknown in the Koprulu Sector (as the Terrans are exiles that first arrived in the Koprulu with the barest minimum of entertainment media) and therefore Jenkins's cover is not so easily blown. Even more impressive is that he managed to play up the role with no one the wiser. Ironically, Jenkins was the last and least suspected person that Hock saw through his ruse.
  • The Salarian analysis ends with the UED classifying them as a RED level threat, then the Salarians hack into the report, offering commentary on the UED's analysis on their forces and doing their own analysis on UED forces, giving them a threat level GREEN. "Have a nice day." The final line of the report: "Salarian Threat Level: upgraded to BLACK".
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  • Nova's Q&A session on Biotics and Psionics is quite amusing as well, mainly from her unwillingness to suffer fools.
    Q: Which is better?
    A:You're a moron.
    Q:Why not try both?
    A:We're trying, jackass.
    Q:What about the Reapers?
    A:I don't want to talk about the Reapers.

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