Funny / Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

aka: Star Wars Dark Rendezvous

• The whole book comes off as a long series of crowning moments of funny, and has perhaps the funniest portrayal of Yoda in any Expanded Universe book.
• The events leading up Evan Chan's forswearing the consumption of SomnaSkol Red.
• At one point, Ventress, pursuing a pair of Jedi Padawans, opens a door and leaps through...only to find, instead, Obi-Wan and Anakin waiting on the other side.
  Ventress: Now I've got you!
  Obi-Wan: True as you tell it. But what are you going to do with us?
• Cue Oh, Crap! moment, followed by Obi-Wan reminiscing over how both he and Anakin have stolen one of her ships.
  Anakin: Why do you bring it up?
  Obi-Wan: [watching their ship ascend into the sky with Ventress at the controls] Oh, no reason.
• The final round of the Apprentice Tournament begins while the apprentices are in the middle of a meal because "you never know when combat will arise" the whole scene starts with a scramble of those NOT in the tournament getting out of the way and it devolves into one part battle royal one part food fight.
  • Scout sees the announcement coming before most of her peers and gets into position with a cup of juice, feigning innocence. As soon as the announcer finishes she throws her juice into the face of the largest and strongest contestant and grabs him by the throat.
• The moment when Yoda shows off his Deadpan Snarker side, with one of his best lines ever: when explaining to Scout how he knows exactly how she feels.
  Yoda: Secret, shall I tell you? [gets right next to her ear] [Beat] GRAND MASTER OF THE JEDI ORDER AM I! Won this job in a raffle, I did, think you? "How did you know, how did you know, Master Yoda?" Master Yoda knows these things. His job it is.
• The normally humorless Jai Maruk discussing the very serious meeting that could change the entire war. At the mention of "Trying" Jai Maruk says Yoda's famous "Do or Do Not. There is no try" but does so while impersonating Yoda's voice in the same room Yoda is sitting. Cue his Oh, Crap!. Yoda found it Actually Pretty Funny and Jai Maruk apparently used to be very well known for his Yoda impression when he was a young apprentice.
• Scout's last-resort tactic for winning a sparring match? Grabbing her opponent's training lightsaber blade and yanking it and her opponent down, then putting her in a choke.
• Yoda has a conversation with Maks Leem in which gives his opinion that the Jedi Temple should be somewhere else, somewhere wet that doesn't have so many machines. He says that it is decided, that they will move it at once and she will be in charge, to find somewhere and report back to him by tomorrow. Leem panics, saying that he must be joking, that they can't do such a thing in the middle of a war. He is, of course.
• Maks Leem's observation that even those who would follow Yoda to the gates of Hell would rather not share his meals, because of their disgusting quality.
  • While Yoda was talking to Maks Leem and enjoying his meal a server droid tries to take it from him because his sensors cannot verify that whatever Yoda is eating is actually edible. The Grandmaster of the Jedi Order proceeds to try to wrestle his plate back from the droid while beating it with his cane only for it to spill all over Maks Leem much to her dismay. When she returns after changing we see Yoda sadly poking at the special of the day like a child forced to eat vegetables.
    • Particularly funny given that this is the Grand Master of the Jedi Order, who presumably could have just ordered the droid around, or Force-pushed it away if he wanted to. Yes, folks, Yoda got so annoyed he lost his temper. Over food.
• How Scout became Jai Maruk's Padawan, because he lost a wager to Yoda that if she wins the tournament he must take her as an Padawan, and Yoda's logic behind the decision.
  Yoda: Why then you would have lost, Jai Maruk. And need to learn about winning from one who knows how.
• Whie and Scout finding out about the mission to Vjun:
  Yoda: As their Padawans, you will go with them.
  Scout: [in an infirmary bed, shocked] Already?!
  Whie: [no less shocked] They made you a Padawan?!
  Scout: *Death Glare* What do you mean by that?!
  Whie: ...I mean, congratulations!
  Jai: [to Maks Leem, impressed] Your boy is agile.
• A used starship vendor attempts to out-haggle a 900-year-old Jedi Master. The poor guy had no idea what he was getting into. Then he lists all of the second-hand starship's "wonderful qualities," with the note of the one thing it doesn't do: Fly.

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