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Funny / Star Trek: Nemesis

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This is why Worf prefers prune juice.

  • Shinzon's kidnapped Picard and has him held hostage aboard the Scimitar. His answer when Picard demands an explanation? "I was lonely."
  • During the wedding.
    Picard: While you're happily settling in on the Titan, I will be training my new first officer. You all know him. He's a tyrannical martinet who will never, ever, allow me to go on away missions.
    Data: That is the regulation, sir. Starfleet code section 12, paragraph 4...
    Picard: Mr. Data...
    Data: Sir?
    Picard: Shut up.
    Data: Yes, sir.
  • "... Irving Berlin."
  • "You have the bridge, Mr. Troi."
  • "Now if you'll excuse me...I'll be in the gym."
    • It's funnier in context: they were on their way to Betazed for a Betazed wedding ceremony, ie. nudity. This was after Worf got into a hissy about being naked at the cermony and Picard making it clear that EVERYONE would be respecting the custom. It's after this that Picard said his line. Of course, what Picard said to Worf when he first heard the Klingon's resistance:
    Picard: A big, striking fellow like yourself? What's there to fear? (His tone makes it clear he's teasing Worf)
    • Believe it or not, the nude Betazed wedding actually ties in with Wesley's appearance (in the novelization at least, not the film's deleted scenes). Wesley beamed in with his Traveler powers Naked on Arrival because he thought he'd arrived in time for the Betazoid ceremony, not the one on Earth, so they quickly replicated him a dress uniform so he could fit in.
  • B4.
    B4: Why do you have a shiny head?
    • and:
    B4: Why does the tall man have a furry face?
    • and:
    Data: B-4, do you know where you are?
    B4: I am in a room. With lights.
    • Data impersonating B-4 manages to convince the audience that he's B-4.
      Shinzon: You may go.
      Data!B-4: (beat) ... go where?
      Shinzon: (annoyed) Out of my SIGHT.
  • Worf demonstrates just why Romulan ale was made illegal in the first place.
    Worf: (groggy) Romulan ale should be illegal.
    La Forge: It is.
  • The deleted bit from the final scene, which shows that the Enterprise is finally getting some damn seat belts installed.
    Picard: About time.
    • Not to mention Riker's trolling of Picard's new first officer earlier in that scene. The poor guy probably took some time to live it down.
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  • Geordi and Guinan at the wedding.
    Geordi: You ever think about getting married again?
    Guinan: No. Twenty-three was my limit.
  • Data babbling while trying to open the hangar door on the Scimitar, with several Remans shooting at him and Picard.
    Data: It appears to have an encrypted security system.
    Picard: Alacrity would be appreciated, Commander!
    Data: Reman is a complex language with pictographs representing certain verb roots—
    Picard: While I find that fascinating, Data, we really need that door open!
  • Meta-Example: The behind-the-scenes features showing Stuart Baird directing the opening scene in the Romulan Senate. How does he try to get their interest in the thalaron device? By tapping it repeatedly and saying "Look at this! It's amazing!"
  • After the battle, Worf reports that Cmdr. Donatra is hailing them.
    Picard: Onscreen— (realizes, in a slightly dazed fashion, that the viewscreen has been blown out) ...Open a channel.

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