- Allen and Freddie are ushers at a wedding. Some of the guests ask Allen where his girlfriend Victoria is (Allen's ex-girlfriend) and he tells them that she's sick and couldn't make it. When another guest simply greets Allen, Allen goes ballistic:Guest: "Hello, Allen."Allen: "SHE LEFT ME! She moved out and my life's in shambles, okay?! That's the news, do you want the weather? Anywhere but the first three rows!"
"You should really lighten up on the guy. That's the bride's brother."
- Freddie then reminds Allen:
- Freddie is happily handling his upteenth beer at the wedding reception, casually telling Allen "Drinking is a matter of ratios. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It's not that you had too much to drink." (comes across a drunken Allen lying on the bar face-first into a bowl of pretzels) "You're just too damn skinny."
- After Madison accepts Allen's marriage proposal, you can tell how overly happy he is:"Listen, you are going to love being married to me! I was born to be married! I just so happen I come from a long line of married people! My mom and dad, they were married! Their moms and dads, they were married too!"
- When Allen is swarmed by a group of reporters to interview him about Madison, Freddie intervenes to get him out of the situation:Freddie: Is anyone here from Penthouse magazine?Reporters: No.Freddie: Then we ain't talkin'!
- Freddie picked up some Swedish from porno films."Hey, babe! I got a twelve inch penis."
- Madison smashing all of the TVs with her voice!Allen: Hey, how about those Knicks...
- Freddie being found fishing in the water tank by the scientists."Hiya boys! Come on in, the water's fine!"
- Madison finds her way to New York City, and the first place she visits happens to be the Statue of Liberty...Tour Guide: Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. The Statue is a gift from French citizens and has come to symbolize hope for naked women everywhere. (Double take) BOCCE BALLS!
- Nearly every moment with Kornbluth, especially when he accidentally hoses the same couple twice."What a week I'm having!"
- The Marines are chasing Allen and Madison down the streets of New York City, the truck gets blocked by taxi cab. The Marines driver yells at the cab driver to move his car. Being a typical New Yawker, the cabbie retorts "Hey, up yours, Gomer; I'm waiting for a fare!"
- So the driver gets his troops to team up and tilt the cab out of the way, causing massive damage to the taxi in the process. And then just to rub it in, wordlessly salutes the cab driver before getting back to the chase. Yeah, you may have been rooting for Allen and Madison to get away, but kudos to our fine, outstanding men and women in uniform for coming up with the most polite way ever to say "No, up yours, citizen!"
- Poor Allen being stuck in a water tank covering his privates for hours after the truth is revealed."I AM NOT A FISH! How many times do I have to tell you people that?"
Funny / Splash