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Pre-Release

  • The teaser for the Ubisoft conference of E3 2016 would lead us to believe that it's going to be another Tom Clancy game, especially given The Division went during and after launch, but then The Coon appears at the end.
  • During the first fight between the Coon's team and Mysterion's team, both teams are forced to stop fighting on the street... because there's a car coming. The gag made it into the finished game as a randomly occurring event during street battles.
    Human Kite: Car!
    Mysterion: Car! (everyone runs to the sidewalk as a car passes by)
    Driver: Stay off the street, damn kids!
    Super Craig: Fuck you, dude. It's Civil War, dick.
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General

  • The game's very title: The Fractured But Whole. Fractured Butthole.note 
  • How do you choose your character's skin color? By choosing the difficulty.
    The Coon: Don't worry, this doesn't affect combat - just every other aspect of your whole life.
  • If you decide to play as a cis girl, the New Kid will be said to have always been a girl (despite clearly being a boy in The Stick of Truth), and nobody noticed until now. The kicker? The boys constantly take note of your feminine features throughout the entire game, yet somehow never figure out that you're actually a girl.
    • If you play as anything other than a cis boy, Super Craig will actually muse aloud that you're a boy and he's gay, yet he doesn't feel the slightest bit attracted to you.
      Super Craig: It's weird. He's a boy and I'm gay, but for some reason I'm not attracted to the New Kid.
    • If you play a Female New Kid during the "Bring The Crunch" DLC, her party members will start calling her Final Girl after she learns the namesakes' class powers. Yep, the only time the boys get Female New Kid's gender right is by complete accident.
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    • One point that deserves mention is Mosquito noting to Female New Kid that she "Kinda has big raisins for a boy", this suggests that Clyde (of all people) saw subtle signs of her starting to develop a bust size and yet still thinks the New Kid is a boy, and that's just assuming Clyde didn't somehow off-screen catch sight of Female New Kid being ''topless'' and somehow still doesn't put two-and-two together.
  • If you correctly input the code to an electronic lock before learning it, Cartman will pop up on screen to insult you... by dressing up as a New England Patriots coach and calling you Tom Brady.
  • If you play as a heterosexual cis white boy, the Rednecks will still attack you for being "different". Granted, the Rednecks clearly don't know what "heterosexual" and "cisgender" mean anyway, and they attack you because it sounds different from what they're used to hearing.
    Redneck: What's a "cisgender", anyway?
    Super Craig: YOU'RE cisgender, dick!
    Redneck: I ain't cisgender! I'm normal!
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  • If you died during the game and let it go for a while, the end credits starts to roll with the song "It's a Long Road" playing. If you return to the last checkpoint however, the credits rewind and you return to the game like nothing ever happened.
  • While everyone's Ultimate moves are all awe-inspiring to watch, Super Craig's Ultimate is... Hilariously underwhelming by comparison, which fits his 'barely-even-trying' superhero persona he adopts throughout the game.
  • Speaking of Craig's general lack of enthusiasm, we have this exchange.
    Mysterion: Hey Craig, think you could have a shittier costume?
    Super Craig: Does it look like I care?
    Mysterion: Well... that's kinda my point.
  • On Fastpass' character sheet, his "sex" is listed as "Yes please".
  • There's a great deal of party banter that can get a few laughs.
    • If Super Craig and the Human Kite are teammates:
      Super Craig: And here I thought kites were lame.
      Human Kite: Happy to change your mind, Super Craig!
      Super Craig: Who said I changed my mind?
    • When Super Craig is attacked:
      Super Craig: My fist is going so far up your ass, I'll be able to help you floss.
    • With the Coon and Toolshed:
      The Coon: You've obviously had some practice handling tools.
      Toolshed: Uh-huh.
      The Coon: You know, "tools" is another word for "penises."
      Toolshed: Yep. I know.
    • Toolshed can downright BURN the Coon in retaliation:
      The Coon: I can't believe your dad was dumb enough to lend you his tools, Toolshed.
      Toolshed: At least I HAVE a dad.
    • If Wonder Tweek and Super Craig are in your party, they each have some great Accidental Innuendo when the other scores a critical hit.
      Wonder Tweek: Once again, Super Craig comes out on top!
      Super Craig: Wow, you really pounded that guy, Tweek!
    • When Captain Diabetes nails someone:
      Captain Diabetes: That's why it's called "Die"-abetes!
    • Call Girl in general gets some really good licks in no matter who else is in the party at the time:
      • If you have the Coon and Call Girl in your party at the same time, you can get this exchange:
        Call Girl: Freedom Pal or Coon Friend, you're cool in my book, New Kid.
        The Coon: Coon AND Friend.
        Call Girl: Hmm, maybe I'm leaning towards Freedom Pal.
      • The Coon will even do this during the "Mitch Conner" boss fights where he's fighting you.
      • Call Girl can even burn the ticket vendor when she and the other heroes are fighting the Chaos Minions in front of the theater.
        Ticket Vendor: What is this, Comic-Con or something? Those are some pretty low-rank superhero costumes.
        Call Girl: Wow, get with the times.
      • When Call Girl is with Captain Diabetes:
        Call Girl: #diabeating.
      • Or when Wonder Tweek is with Call Girl and she nails someone:
        Wonder Tweek: You go, girlfriend!
        Call Girl: Tweek, don't do that.
      • Call Girl's Blocked ability brings out Human Kite's jealous side.
        Call Girl: Pew pew pew, phone laser!
        Human Kite: H-hey, we already have a laser user on the team.
      • If Mosquito is with Call Girl, he occasionally flirts with her, much to Call Girl and her boyfriend Toolshed's disgust.
        Mosquito: Let me know if you ever want to go slurp on some livestock... Or grab a milkshake or whatever. / You can spread viruses on social media, right? Because that makes us twinsies! / I bet your blood type is Type "Oh, wow!"
        Toolshed: Dude!
        Call Girl: Don't even start with me, Clyde. / You're making me itchy.
      • Mosquito even grosses her out with Bug Bite Barrage, which he has no remorse over:
        Call Girl: You're really grossing me out, Mosquito.
        Mosquito: Sorry, not sorry!
        Call Girl: Did you really just "Sorry, not sorry" me?
        Mosquito: Sorry.
    • Human Kite and The Coon continue to insult each other even while allied:
      Human Kite: There, there, put your head in my clouds.
      The Coon: Only if you pull your head out of your ass.
      Human Kite: Hey Coon, nice of you to give a cosplay option to the plus-sized.
      The Coon: Yeah, like for your fat bitch mom.
      Human Kite: I suppose you're like a raccoon in many ways. You're feisty and stuff your face with garbage.
      The Coon: Yes, just like a kite in so many ways, in that you're kinda lame.
      • If Human Kite is attacked:
    • When the New Kid uses Timefart Glitch, the Coon might say this:
      The Coon: Oh my God, the ButtLord fucked you!
    • The New Kid's Elementalist ultimate brings out Wonder Tweek's jealous side.
      Super Craig: Wow, that was the coolest storm ever.
      Wonder Tweek: I'm good at storms too, right, Super Craig?
      Super Craig: [wearily] Yes, Tweek. You're the best at storms.
    • Wonder Tweek is full of Sailor Moon quotes when in battle:
      Wonder Tweek: (When his turn starts) For Love and Justice, Wonder Tweek!
      Wonder Tweek: (When using Supreme Lightning) Supreme Thunder!
    • When Henrietta is unlocked as a playable character:
      Henrietta: (When the New Kid's turn starts) Let me guess, you're going to fart.
      Henrietta: (During the battle against Red Wine Drunk Randy) Yeah, my dad's an asshole too.
      Henrietta: (During the battle against the Broflovskis) At least your mom is direct.
      Henrietta: (During the battle against Butters' Dad) Can we beat up my dad next?
      Henrietta: (When using her "Black Mass" Ultimate against the Chaos Minions) Here's some real chaos.
    • Having Henrietta's brother Bradley, AKA Mintberry Crunch, fight alongside her prompts the two to argue during battle.
      • When Mintberry Crunch manages to deal damage:
        Mintberry Crunch: Now that's a satisfying crunch!
        Henrietta: Oh, puke.
      • When Henrietta's turn starts:
        Mintberry Crunch: Get outta the way! It's my fat sister's turn!
        Henrietta: Wow, real mature.
      • After Mintberry Crunch inflicts Berry onto his enemies:
        Mintberry Crunch: How d'ya like them berries?
        Henrietta: Oh my God, shut up!
      • Or this:
        Mintberry Crunch: That's what you get for not being... Berry nice.
        Henrietta: I hate you.
      • After Henrietta attacks with Cigarette Burn:
        Mintberry Crunch: You're just lucky she didn't sit on you! / Wait until I tell Mom I saw you smoking!
        Henrietta: I hate you.
      • After Henrietta uses Satanic Seal on Mintberry Crunch:
      • After Henrietta uses any of her healing abilities on another ally:
        Mintberry Crunch: Hey, maybe pray to Satan for a trim figure and a better attitude!
        Henrietta: Don't even talk to me.
  • The New Kid can identify as a trans male. While this isn't funny in of itself, the fact that everyone failed to notice he was assigned female at birth and thus used male pronouns without knowing that he's trans, is. Heck, it's even funnier because not even the adults notice this, which further displays the Adults Are Useless Trope that South Park loves to use.
  • Being covered in Tupperware boxes does not make Token immune to getting grossed out. In fact, when he does get grossed out, he'll puke into his helmet and the mess will cover half his head.
  • One of Tupperware's lines is an exasperated sounding "White people."
  • Starting from Day 2, Kyle Schwartz will occasionally interrupt certain battles, wanting to play the game himself as the Human Kite from an Alternate Universe (at the behest of Shelia Broflovski telling her son Kyle to let him play), only to pathetically fail and make himself look like an idiot, such as pointlessly casting a shield spell and then running off, or tripping and busting his nose open. Even the normally unflappable New Kid gets pissed at how annoying and obnoxious Alternate Universe Human Kite can be.
  • Occasionally, the fight will have to pause as all the combatants have to allow a car to pass on the street. The car's driver is not amused.
  • Mitch Conner's superpower? Calvinballing and cheating.
  • If you get into a fight in front of the cinema, the guy at the box office will mock the entire fight.
  • Some of the responses you get when you punch and fart on random people on the street:
    Enjoy your shitty karma, kid.
    Don't make me put up my dukes!
    You wanna throw down, bro?
    I know where you live!
    Keep your gas in your ass, peckerhead!
    Hah! You hear that asshole talking shit behind your back?
  • If you fart on DogPoo, he'll occasionally comment on your stench:
    DogPoo: Respect.
    DogPoo: Huh, not bad.
    DogPoo: Your stink cuts through my stink!

Prologue

Day 1

  • Super Craig's personality can be distilled down to one of his battle quotes: "I am out of fucks to give." This is established when the New Kid meets him for the first time, and he puts the bare minimum of effort into emphasising his superhero name every time he says it:
    Super Craig: [opening the door] Greetings, citizen. It is I, [raises fist] Suuuper Craig. [Reaction Shot, or rather lack of reaction shot, of the New Kid] I'm sorry, but I cannot assist anyone with their problems right now. [raises fist] Suuuper Craig can't find his guinea pig. Go tell the Coon that I'm not playing until I find Stripe. He's not just a normal guinea pig. He belongs to me and my ex-boyfriend. That's right, [raises fist] Suuuper Craig is gay.
  • Ever since Super Craig and Wonder Tweek broke up when Wonder Tweek walked out of Coon and Friends to start a new franchise with the Freedom Pals, the two start behaving like very bitter exes throughout the game, including such gems as Craig vagueblogging about Tweek:
    Super Craig: (in a Facebook post) Me and my super-partner — Stripe is so loyal and doesn't get butthurt when he's a little later on the franchise plan than me LIKE SOMEONE.
    Wonder Tweek: You replaced me with the guinea pig?! THAT *I* BOUGHT YOU?!?! YOU'RE SUCH A CHILD!!!
    Super Craig: Dude, get off my posts.
    • This bit of banter when they're battling each other.
      Wonder Tweek: I am Wonder Tweek, Champion of Justice!
      Super Craig: What? That's gay.
      Wonder Tweek: You're gay.
      Mosquito: Wait... I'm confused.
    • And another bit of banter involves a Shout-Out to the Sailor Moon DiC Dub:
      Wonder Tweek: I will right wrongs and triumph over evil - and that means you!
      Super Craig: Wait, ME?
  • The return of Kyle's insufferably stereotypical Jewish cousin Kyle Schwartz, whom Sheila forces the kids to include in their game, even though he just copies Kyle's identity as the Human Kite, except way wussier, more neurotic and adding random stereotypical Jewish stuff for no good reason, all while claiming himself to be the Human Kite from an Alternate Universe. Human Kite can't stand him and keeps trying to get the New Kid to beat him up bad enough for him to go back home. During their first battle, Alternate Universe Human Kite attempts to do an Ultimate Power Move and jumps from Human Kite's bed... then face-plants into the ground, knocking himself out.
  • Mosquito's Kryptonite is the Raisins waitresses. They even manage to charm Mosquito by using their signature move, "Favorite Customer" which causes Mosquito, along with anyone else they target, to fall so madly in love with the Raisins girls, they end up fighting on their side, attacking any other heroes who aren't affected by the Favorite Customer's Charm Status effect. Speaking of which, if you don't get to Raisins sooner, Mosquito will be too far gone in his lust and attraction towards the Raisins Girls that he'll post on Coonstagram:
    Mosquito: Bring a friend special on wings at Raisins!!! Limited time! Use the alley and tell them Mosquito sent you!!! Bzzz.
    The Coon: GOD DAMN IT MOSQUITO THOSE HUSSIES ARE SUCKING YOU DRY!!!
  • Parker and Stone may chide comedians for going for easy laughs with jokes about Catholic priests being paedophiles, but they're not above going for such laughs themselves; witness the New Kid's trip to see Fr. Maxi at the church, when he is shut in a back room under the pretext of needing to face his fears (cue a sound clip of Cartman saying "Your dad... fucked your mom...") - and two priests, Fr. McManus and Fr. Handsley, appear and claim to be figments of the New Kid's imagination. In a fight that crosses the line AT LEAST twice, cheesy porno music plays on the soundtrack, the priests repeatedly make innuendo-laden comments, and Fr. McManus' attack involves producing a string of anal prayer beads and flagellating himself with them before charging. It's either one of the most hilarious or one of the most tasteless fights in the game (or both!).
  • Sergeant Yates sends you, a young kid, to take out a violent drug dealer in exchange for a Junior Detective badge, but then it turns out it's just blatantly beating an innocent black man for the police to arrest for no apparent reason. Nichole Daniels' dad, to be precise! Also during Day 2, Sergeant Yates sends you to take out the "kingpin" who "hired" that "drug dealer" in the first place, but then it turns out it's just blatantly beating TOKEN'S DAD!
  • When the Coon and Friends question the New Kid's silent communication note , the Coon tells everyone the New Kid's Dark and Troubled Past where the New Kid saw their father fucking their mother which the Coon takes so seriously, he insists that it's what drove the New Kid to start fighting crime. Unfortunately, Human Kite does not take the Coon's improvised backstory of the New Kid well. What's even funnier is that when the Coon tells Human Kite not to steal the New Kid's backstory, they have a sad look on their face, implying that they genuinely believe that Human Kite is stealing their "backstory".
    Human Kite: Cartman, everyone's dad fucked everyone's mom.
    The Coon: Hah?
    Human Kite: That's how it works, stupid! Our dads fucked our moms!
    The Coon: Oh, right, so does that mean your dad fucked your mom, Kyle?! Huh?!
    Human Kite: YES! My dad fucked my mom! That's why I'M HERE.
    The Coon: Don't steal his backstory, dude. That's not cool.
    Human Kite: YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID!! Every human alive, on Earth, had a dad who fucked their mom and-
    Mosquito: Stop, stop! This is not what's important right now! We need to find the lady with the dick tattoo TONIGHT.
    Super Craig: Yeah, let's go home so we can prepare for evening missions.
    Fastpass: Let's go, Coon Friends!
    Human Kite: (Leaving with the others) He's such a fucking idiot!
    Super Craig: It's okay, calm down.
    The Coon: I'm afraid you'll have to deal with that kind of bigotry your whole life, Butthole. When people don't understand, they lash out.

Night 1

  • Captain Diabetes may have an awesome power, but how does he use it? First, he drinks an apple juice, then he uses his Diabetic Shock to rage and overturn something, and finally uses insulin to calm him down.
  • Captain Diabetes' backstory is that his mom farted on him while giving birth, and that's how he got diabetes, but Cartman was the one who made that up and Captain Diabetes protests that's not how you actually get diabetes.
  • If you pester the bouncer at the Peppermint Hippo too much, this happens.
    NO TITTIES FOR YOU!
  • When looking for information on the stripper with the penis tattoo, the New Kid and Captain Diabetes come across two very drunken guys who only are willing to cooperate after they've gotten lap dances in the VIP room. Yes, they are so drunk they confuse two preteen kids for strippers, one of which is clearly a boy (and the other potentially is a boy too!).
  • The "lap dance". Set aside you have two fourth-grade kids lap-dancing drunken adult businessmen, but they have no clear idea of what a lap dance is supposed to be. What makes it really hilarious is that the New Kid fart lap-dances all over their man, who is less than pleased to say the least.
  • In order to get call out the stripper with the penis tattoo onstage, you and Captain Diabetes need to make a drink for DJ Hippo called the "DJ Special" in order to distract the DJ by spiking Gin and Tonic with Rat Shit, Boogers and Cum (and yes, finding said item causes the music clip of the same name to play), and lastly, you need to fart in the drink. Once you do, Captain Diabetes goes into a small fit of rage:
    Captain Diabetes: Oh, God... Oh, God... (Angrily) FARTS!
  • During the battle against the Peppermint Hippo Strippers, Classi calls Spontaneous Bootay to kill the New Kid and Captain Diabetes. Both of them are understandably shocked and frightened.
    Captain Diabetes: (terrified at Spontaneous Bootay's "Death by Bootay" attack) Oh, my God! She'll crush us alive with her massive butt!
    Special Objective: Avoid Spontaneous Bootay!
  • When you chase after Classi into the Buca De Faggoncini, the Italian mobster shoots a warning shot in the air only for a sign to fall on him, then Captain Diabetes dies from running out of insulin, leaving the New kid just silently staring at the two corpses as the Coon calls to know if everything is fine.
  • Afterwards, when you unlock your first TimeFart, "Glitch" and enter the Buca De Faggoncini, you have to fight the restaurant's cooks in order to get into the back room, who will otherwise try to kick you out. There's quite a few quips in there that can cause a chuckle or two:
    • When the Coon gears up to attack:
      The Coon: I'm gonna dip my balls in your sauce.
      Head Chef: N-no, no! Not my sauce!
    • Or when an ally is attacked by one of the Cooks:
      Prep Cook: You want a Crème Fraîche Bukakke with that?
      The Coon: Hell fucking no!
      Human Kite: Gross!
      Captain Diabetes: No, thank you!
      Mosquito: No!
    • Bringing Henrietta to the battle prompts her to say these quips:
      Henrietta: Sorry to interrupt your ritualized slop production.
      Henrietta: You feel good about making bland cuisine for overweight suburban families?
    • One of the Cooks also says this during his turn:
      Prep Cook: I'm gonna violate your health code!
      Head Chef: That makes no sense!
    • And when the Head Chef is defeated:
      Sous Chef: Oh shit, the Head Chef's dead! I'm the new Head Chef!
  • Before the boss fight against the mobsters in the restaurant proceeds, the mobster boss states that he knows who Captain Diabetes is, telling his subordinates his backstory, with Captain Diabetes protesting that's not how people actually get diabetes. One wonders why he would even care about some kid participating in roleplay, or why he would be gullible enough to believe that Captain Diabetes is an actual superhero. The battle is then hijacked by Randy Marsh, drunk off his ass on red wine with his pants around his ankles, who proceeds to beat the shit out of the mobsters and loudly demanding his car keys, which Captain Diabetes had confiscated earlier that night to keep him from driving. Upon being refused, Randy makes you fight him as Red Wine Drunk Randy (the worst kind of drunk!).
  • During the battle against Red Wine Drunk Randy, when you use TimeFart Glitch to cancel Randy's first turn:
    Classi: Uh, uh, that's not fair! Y'all can't be using your ass to speed up time and skip people's turns and shit!
    • And if you bring Mosquito to the fight:
      Mosquito: Whoa, I'm getting kinda woozy off of his blood!
    • And if you bring SUPER CRAIG to the fight:
      Super Craig: Uh, your pants are down.
    • What's even funnier is when Red Wine Drunk Randy is defeated:
      Red Wine Drunk Randy: All right, I'm gonna take a cab.
      Captain Diabetes: There! Nobody drinks and drives under Captain Diabetes' watch!
      Super Craig: Maybe we should pull his pants up now.

Day 2

Night 2

  • After getting your way into the U-Stor-It facility, Butters (in full Professor Chaos persona) comes on the big TV screens he's put all over the place and taunts Coon and Friends (and Toolshed) before declaring that his minions will tear them apart. The storage doors open, revealing... A swarm of hamsters in safety balls. Not even the Coon can Kayfabe it into anything serious, and the group just keeps moving, with Professor Chaos breaking character in disappointment. Not only does no one take the guinea pigs seriously, but the fact that the guinea pigs are released and promptly proceed to ignore the heroes and just scamper around despite Professor Chaos' best efforts is just hilariously pathetic.
    Professor Chaos: (on a giant screen) Minions? (sees the minions scurrying around the U-Stor-It lot, not even bothering to attack the heroes) No, minions, you gotta kill 'em! Aw, dang it! (the screen shuts off)
  • Professor Chaos reveals that he's gotten a substantial amount of money to stop the superheroes and because of that he's been able to hire new minions instead of just kids and guinea pigs... he hired illegal Mexican workers. They will constantly say (usually in Spanish) that "a job is a job" and wondering why they are supposed to beat some fourth graders.
    The Coon: (after being attacked by a Mexican Chaos Minion) Their Chaos Powers are preventing me from understanding their speech!
  • Before you head inside the place where you fight General Disarray, Toolshed will see that the path is covered in lava and he can't use his Sandblaster to move it away since there's no air compressor around, leading the Coon to point out:
    The Coon: It's kinda lame to have a superpower that only works when an air compressor is around. This isn't Legend of Zelda, dude.
    Toolshed: Fuck you, Coon!
  • Professor Chaos (which is to say, Butters) turns out to be the one spreading lava (which is to say, red Legos) all over town. At one point, Super Craig gets trapped behind a "lava" spill - something he could easily walk over - and the rest of the Coon and Friends react as though his life is in serious peril. Super Craig even gives a dramatic speech accepting his fate and wishing he'd been kinder to Wonder Tweek, while the other kids panic and look for a way to "save" him from the "lava."
  • Professor Chaos' ultimate weapon, which turns out to be a Giant Mecha... which is just a bunch of Mexicans held in place with tinfoil and tape. It has three forms, which it turns into because you knock a few of the Mexicans loose, letting them run away. The final form is just Chaos held up by two dogs.

Day 3

  • Butters' dad (being ignorant of how the New Kid escaped) concludes they must have the incredible power to un-ground people. Then his idea is incorporated into the game!
  • During the battle that ensues, Butters' dad will occasionally ask if any of the heroes have been swearing. If Super Craig is there, he'll just blatantly say "Yes".
    Butters' Dad: Any of you been swearing? That's a grounding!
    Super Craig: Yes.
  • After the boss fight against Butters' dad, Butters claims that he has gained the same immunity to being grounded. Cue Big "NO!" from Mr. Stotch.
  • When fighting Chaos Minions with Professor Chaos in your party, he'll ask why they're now fighting against him. They'll tell him that his check bounced.
    Professor Chaos: Gosh, minions, what gives?
    Chaos Minion: Your check bounced! Chaos minions wanna get paid!
  • The Old Folks Home section. At first, it's ridiculous enough that the New Kid has to play the triangle and mandolin to old people for community service. But then we get to the FLUGELHORN. Simply put, the freestyle section allows you to fart Reveille.

Night 3

  • When Mysterion arrives to escort you to the police station, he complains about how hard it is to look mysterious while standing in your front yard waiting for you.
  • Fighting Jared Fogle in the police station. As a bunch of prepubescent kids. It's as darkly hilarious as it is completely outrageous.
    Singer: He's still lookin' goooood...Eatin' those Subway sandwichessss... His name is Jared and he's still lookin' goooood...
  • After his defeat, Jared tries to blame his actions on his childhood, except he didn't really have a bad childhood so he just steals the same excuse often aimed at Michael Jackson. Afterwards, you can either fart on his face (which would kill him), or show him some mercy and spare him.
  • The scene in the police station underground forensics lab where the guy holding the skeleton key to their secret underground chamber manages to get himself killed while trying to use a cat to cheese in a dark room full of chemicals. The entire scene takes place off-screen while the screen just shows a baffled New Kid hearing the guy narrate how he's accidentally killing himself.
  • The racism of the South Park police department is taken Up to Eleven as it turns out they've been arresting innocent black citizens to feed them to Shub-Niggurath, with the excuse that as an Eldritch Abomination, Shub-Niggurath's demand for black victims isn't really racist. The police chief states that the ritual was created by H. P. Lovecraft, and it's not like he was racist...
    (other cultist whispers into chief's ear)
    Police Chief: Oh, fuck, was he really? Like - like how racist?
    (more whispering)
    Police Chief: "Really, really"?
  • The fact that they're feeding black people to Shub-Niggurath in general. Just think for a few seconds about how that's pronounced.
  • If Henrietta is brought to the battle, she will take delight in seeing the Crooked Cops being devoured by Shub-Niggurath.
    Henrietta: Oh, I do NOT want to miss this.
    Henrietta: I could watch that on repeat forever.
  • Likewise, when her allies are devoured:
    Henrietta: That All-Motherfucker.

Day 4

  • During the search for the Coon & Mitch Conner when the Coon leaves your team for the rest of the main game, the other heroes will start looking in various locations, with Mosquito searching Raisins, much to Human Kite's annoyance.
    Super Craig: (calling from the park) Freedom Pals, this is Super Craig. No sign of Cartman at the park.
    Mosquito: (calling from Raisins, enjoying himself with the Raisins girls) No sign of Cartman at Raisins either!
    Human Kite: (calling Mosquito, visibly pissed) Mosquito, stay on point! Get outta there!
  • When interrogating the Coon at Freedom Pals' base, you have to eat various fart-inducing foods to fart on his face to get him to talk. After you eat three of the items presented before you, the Coon throws up on the last two items, forcing you to eat one more that's covered in his vomit before he talks. Bonus points for the New Kid, who has an understandably frightened and uncomfortable look on their face.

Night 4, Day 14, and all time travels involved to the end of the game.

  • Dr. Mephesto returns, and gives the kids a tour of his genetics lab, which has grown a lot since season 1. He reveals that the reason for his increased operation is because of the death of his son Terrance. Not because he wants to bring him back to life, but because he wants to add four new asses to his corpse, so his soul can rest in peace.
  • When the tour tram goes offline, Dr. Mephesto says the CPU is on the floor below, and the rest of the kids - and Dr. Mephesto - proceed to exploit the New Kid's Heroic Mime status:
    Toolshed: So somebody has to walk down to the third level and flip the switch!? One, two, three, NOT IT! [raises hand]
    [the next few lines take a total of three seconds]
    Human Kite: [raises hand] Not it!
    Captain Diabetes: [raises hand] Not it!
    Call Girl: [raises hand] Not it!
    Professor Chaos: [raises hand] Not it!
    Dr. Mephesto: [raises hand] Not it!
    Wonder Tweek: [raises hand] Not it!
    Mysterion: [raises hand] Not it!
    Tupperware: [raises hand] Not it!
    Mosquito: [raises hand] Not it!
    Super Craig: [raises hand] Not it!
    Doctor Timothy: [raises hand] TIMMEH!
    Fastpass: N-n-n-not it!
  • Toolshed takes a picture with a many-assed cat which is surprisingly docile, just to be informed by Mephesto to be careful, since docile many-assed cats tend to have cat AIDS.
  • Call Girl taking a picture of Mosquito crying because she thinks "boys are kind of cute when they cry, huh? #sorrynotsorry". Toolshed immediately claims "that's kind of messed up."
  • The 6th grader leader getting more and more asses added to him after his mutation. All at your discretion for only a quarter for every ass. Then when there are no more asses to add, the machine just spanks him.
  • During the battle between your team's past selves, many of the characters get a few good licks in before they fight.
    • During the Thief Craig Battle:
      Super Craig: You're not gonna last long fighting us yourself, past... self.
      Thief Craig: I wouldn't be so foolish, Stupid Craig! BUNSHIN NO JUTSU! (Multiple Thief Craig clones appear)
      Super Craig: Are you serious? That's so fucking lame.
    • If you use Super Craig and Wonder Tweek's combined Ultimate Attack against Thief Craig, the latter will say "So, anyone want to tell me what the hell was that?"note 
    • During the High Jew Elf Kyle Battle:
      Call Girl: Wow, Past Kyle had such a cool costume! What happened?
      Human Kite: Hey...
    • There's also some Fridge Logic during this:
      Human Kite: So if we beat our past selves, does that mean we change the future?
      Toolshed: Maybe we split off into another timeline.
      Wonder Tweek: Can we PLEASE establish a canon and stick to it?! AUGH!
  • Realizing that Cartman gave Butters a crap ton of money (through channels) to get crime raised in the city. Why is this funny? Cause the better part of the game up to night 3 involves trying to find a cat in order to claim a $100 reward.

Side Quests

  • Call Girl's companion quest involves fixing a problem with her data plan, so she goes over to the D-Mobile store, only to find it taken over by Crab People.
    Crab Person: INSOLENT HUMAN! How dare you shun our data plan!
  • After stopping the Crab People, you free the real D-Mobile staff. As they're heading over to thank you, one of the workers notes that the crab people "Look like crabs, but kiss like people". Plus, when you loot the defeated Crab People, one of them has a "Used Lipstick" in the Vendor Trash you get.
  • Ms. Cartman's quest line. It involves the New Kid essentially pimping her out to people around town, and culminates in a slap-off boss fight against a competitor and his hoes, topped off by the Coon coming in afterwards, baffled by what happened in the living room.
  • The entire quest line is full of absurd dialogue that is utterly hilarious when taken out of context.
    Ms. Cartman: Slap 'em to show what a great Daddy you are!
  • How does Mr. Mackey go about couple counseling for the estranged Super Craig and Wonder Tweek? He explains that they need to overcome the expectations, resentments and accusations that harm their relationships... By having a bunch of kids play the part of those concepts, and inviting Super Craig, Wonder Tweek, and the New Kid to beat them up. And it works!
  • Professor Chaos' side quest involves mini-game gives you insight on how economics work... via a roulette wheel. Special mention goes to the "bailout" bonus you get on Real State spaces, which prevents you from losing if you fall on a bankruptcy space. How exactly? The taxpayers are the ones that get screwed instead.
  • During the last quest to fill out your character sheet, "Touch the Sky":
    • Seaman makes an appearance, and once again no one gets his name right or takes him seriously.
      Seaman: [every time someone calls him "Semen"] SeaMAN!
    • Kanye West. Period. He has turned into an actual gay fish.
    • The insane scene where you help the Gay Fish's mother get to Heaven by having to play Flappy Bird with a fish riding a unicorn that farts rainbows. The best part? If you fail more than twice, the game gives you 25 lives, making it impossible to fail without intentionally doing so.
    • Afterwards, when you end up in Heaven, you are met by Jesus who helps you pick out a religion for your character sheet. He's fine with any choice, even atheism, except Lawful Scientology.
      Jesus: [if you spend a long time choosing] Hey, I get it, you're worried about hurting my feelings, but I'm totally cool. Follow your heart... unless your heart says Scientology.
      [if you choose Lawful Scientologist] OK, you're a lawful Scientologist? Ha! There's no such thing! Try again.
      [if you choose Chaotic Scientologist] OK, you're a chaotic Scientologist. They all are if you ask me, but hey.

DLC Side Quest 1: From Dusk Till Casa Bonita

  • When you and Mysterion head inside Casa Bonita, Mysterion points out the vampires who have "kidnapped" his sister Karen and started her "transformation".
    Mysterion: Look at them. These poor bastards don't even know that vampires are among them. We have to stop this evil once and for all. (Points to Mike Makowski's table) Look! Vampires!
    Mike Makowski: Fellow vampires, we are gathered in evil, here in this hour of darkness, in order to... celebrate my birthday! (Blows out his birthday candles) Now, let us feast on the blood of the virgin... strawberry daiquiris!
    Karen: (Dressed up as a Vamp Kid) I want one!
    Mysterion: There's Karen! Oh, no! Look at her hair and her clothes! They've already started the transformation! Let's go before it's too late!
  • In order to go inside, you need to purchase a Meal Ticket, which costs $17 per person, so with you and Mysterion together, you'll have to pay $34 to progress, since Mysterion cannot afford one on his own.
  • One of the way to get a Meal Ticket inside without having to pay $17 each is to use the Snap n' Pops to knock off a Meal Ticket out of the host's hands and use Timefart Pause in front of him to grab it before he picks it back up, and when the Timefart wears off, the host is visibly disgusted at what just happened before he lets them in.
    Casa Bonita Host: (Disgusted) O-Oh, God, that smell...
    Mysterion: Hey, uh, we got a ticket, can we go in?
    Casa Bonita Host: Y-Yeah, sure... God, smells like canned oysters...
  • Afterwards, when you head in the mail dining hall, for some reason, the New Kid and Mysterion see the Coon in a faux jail cell.
    The Coon: Hey, New Kid! Dude, over here!
    Mysterion: Coon? What are you doing in there?
    The Coon: I was investigating an infestation of vampires here at Casa Bonita, but then one of them threw me in jail. I need your help. I need you to... take a picture of my for my Coonstagram Page while I'm in jail.
    Mysterion: (beat) Fuck you, dude! (Walks off)
    The Coon: Fuck you, asshole! (To the New Kid) C'mon, I'm not leaving without my commemorative photograph.
    • What's even funnier is that you can either take the picture or just leave him there, prompting him to whine about how he's still stuck in jail, though he won't be available to help you take down the Vamp Kids unless you help take his commemorative photograph.
    • When you do take the photo for him, he won't walk out from behind the jail cell prop, but rather push himself through the plastic window bars, bending and ruining them.
  • During the second battle against the Vamp Kids, one of them will mistake Henrietta as one.
    Vamp Kid: Time out!
    Vamp Kid: What? What's wrong?
    Vamp Kid: (pointing to Henrietta) That Vamp Kid over there. How come she's not fighting?
    Henrietta: (offended) For the last time, I'm not a fucking Vamp Kid.
    Mysterion: W-what's the difference?
    Henrietta: What's the difference?! Look at us! (They look at Henrietta and a Vamp girl for a while; Mysterion is still confused) ...I'm smoking a cigarette.
  • Seeing how they all have a common enemy, Mysterion asks her to help them fight the Vamp Kids, to which she agrees... as long as she doesn't have to wear a superhero costume. After the battle:
    Henrietta: That was satisfactory.
    The Coon: Geez, will you lighten up?
    Henrietta: No.
  • During the search for the Vampire Relics, there's quite a few moments that can cause a good laugh or two:
    • When you look around the lower dining room, you have to fight Casa Bonita's animal mascot Chiquita the Gorilla, and when you defeat him, you hear this exchange from the Coon and Henrietta:
      The Coon: Suck it, Chiquita! There's a new silverback in town!
      Henrietta: I thought you were a stupid raccoon.
      The Coon: I thought you were a stupid bitch.
    • When you look around the arcade, the prize vendor makes a few quips during the battle that ensues:
      Prize Vendor: No roughhousing in the arcade!
      Vamp Kid: SILENCE, decrepit mortal!
      Prize Vendor: Hey, why are you emo kids fighting each other?
      Henrietta: Oh, my God!
      Prize Vendor: (When a Vamp Kid is grossed out) Aw, geez, did you just puke on the carpet?
    • When you look for the last one in Black Bart's Cave, the Token Minority Gangsta Vamp makes an appearance as a mini-boss.
  • Whenever the New Kid uses Timefart Glitch in Black Bart's Cave, Black Bart has this to say:
    Black Bart: Oh, Black Bart knows a crime when he smells one.
  • When you pursue Mike and Karen all the way up to the Cliff Diving Waterfall, one of the options is using the Fartkour ability with Human Kite... from an Alternate Universe. Complete with his usual stereotypical Jewish Complaining.
    Alternate Universe Human Kite: Surprise! It's your new superhero helper, Human Kite from an Alternate Universe!
    [afterwards]
    Alternate Universe Human Kite: Oh boy, that was amazing! We make such a great superhero team, New Kid! Tell everybody you know.
    Human Kite: Er, sorry about that, New Kid.
  • The "Master Vampire" turns out to be Mr. Adams from the South Park Police, who directly references the classic The Lost Boys as the basis of this "twist".
  • Mr. Adams' last birthday surprise for Mike involves summoning the spirit of Corey Haim from Hell as a celebrity guest to assist him in the battle, but he ends up summoning Michael Jackson instead. What makes this even funnier is that everyone else keeps referring to him as Corey Haim even though it's clearly not him, Whereas Mr. Adams is the only one to point out that he's not Corey Haim.
  • When "Corey Haim" kidnaps Karen and dives into the waterfall cliff with her, the New Kid has to be the one to follow them, while everyone else refuses and chases them back to the dining room by taking the stairs.
    Henrietta: Corey Haim totally just kidnapped your sister.
    Mysterion: What are you waiting for, Buttlord? Go after them!
    Henrietta: Don't look at ME! note 
  • The Coon's reaction when "Corey Haim" possesses Karen during the boss fight. What's even funnier is that this isn't the first time Michael Jackson possessed somebody's younger sibling.
  • When "Corey Haim" is defeated, Karen is finally freed of the Vamp Kids'"spell".
    Mysterion: Look, we broke the spell! Karen, are you okay?
    Karen: I think so, I could feel Corey Haim taking over my body, but then I woke up. And now I can finally see... see how... completely fucking lame Vamp Kids are!
    Mike Makowski: Aw, man, she's mortal again. Come on, Vamps. Let's go watch the puppet show. (The Vamp Kids walk off to do so)
  • When you return to Casa Bonita after the sidequest is finished, you can take selfies with both Mike Makowski and his stepdad, Master Vampire Adams. But before that...

DLC Side Quest 2: Bring The Crunch

  • When Mintberry Crunch helps the New Kid fight the monsters, they call someone else they brought with them... Spontaneous Bootay, who is still hell-bent on destroying the New Kid. She even has the same title card and boss music as last time.
    Mintberry Crunch: Oh no! My powers of mint and berry aren't strong enough to freshen an ass of that size!
  • The incredibly powerful psychic Doctor Timothy's way of determining one of the camp counselors are dead. It's the matter-of-factly way he says it that does it. Keep in mind said counselor has nine knives stuck in him, including a cleaver to the skull, and a massive amount of blood on the floor. Oh, and Jimmy thinks it's a fake body for way longer than reasonable.
    Professor Chaos: Are you sure he's dead? Maybe he's just sleeping.
    Doctor Timothy: No, he's super dead. I poked him with a stick.
  • Protecting the second camp counselor only for him to commit suicide immediately after due to the fight taking place in the shower, and the counselor committing suicide rather than get accused of flashing his genitals at a bunch of kids for pedophilia. One of the songs the counselor hums while showering is "I got something in my front pocket for you" from Butters' tap dance routine in "You Got F'd In the A".
  • The Old Mechanic following you around while he keeps warning you with "You wouldn't want to go down that road" quotes, at one point while walking across a long screen you walk past him only for him to show up ahead of you. When you first get off the DLC bus, he talks about the summer camp like it's cursed, stating that the kids "walk and talk all funny-like, like they lost their marbles", even though it's just a camp for kids with disabilities. It's a bit insulting, offensive, and insensitive to the mentally handicapped, but still.
  • Turns out most of the counselor fatalities happened because Mimsy misunderstood Nathan's directions to tie up all the counselors and tied them up in gruesome torture devices like in the Saw movies. Of course, Nathan doesn't mind as long as it gets Lake Tardicaca shut down.
  • During the Nathan and Mimsy boss fight on the docks, the last surviving counselor keeps feebly trying to convince the kids to stop the "roughhousing" because none of them are wearing safety vests.
  • During the Fishing Mini-Game where you can earn a badge for your "Sash of Ultimate Merit" Epic Artifact, the only way to earn the badge is to land a Tardicaca Lakewater Shark, and once you do, it flops down onto the dock and lands right on top of you, implying that it's mating with you! It's further implied when you get the "Shark Mating Whistle" Epic Artifact afterwards. If you remember anything from "Crippled Summer", you'll know that the Tardicaca Shark's penis is nine inches long! Bonus points for the New Kid, who gives a quite predictable Oh, Crap! when they realize that they're about to be flattened by a 9'7" shark. If you take a picture with the captured shark, Nathan will comment on it.
  • During the same Mini-Game, you also might end up landing a Crab Person, who takes your fishing as a challenge for battle, which he accepts!

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