Remember that funny moments in KSI, miniminter, and wroetoshaw's own individual gameplay videos (without the other Sidemen) go on their own funny moments pages (either go back to the main Sidemen funny moments page for links or click on their names and look for the "Funny" tab on their pages).
- Two words to describe this game of Worms 2: Armageddon? "FUCK DORA!"Ethan: Yeah, see you later, Dora-bitch! (he and Simon laugh) I've always hated you, bitch!
Josh: Spanish-talking bitch! (laughter from Josh, Ethan, and Simon)
Ethan: Miss- Miss Adventure, bitch! (more laughter) Talk to animals, bitch!
Josh: Fuckin' backpack bitch! (Ethan laughs harder)
Ethan: Talk to raccoon-looking, bitch!
Josh: Yo me llama, Dora, bitch!
- Simon even made a deal with Josh that if he delivered the final airstrike blow to Dora instead of attacking Simon's worm Eric, then Simon will force Eric to jump into the water. Josh did just that and Simon followed up on his end of the deal, saying it was so Worth It.
- In a game of AGAR.IO:Simon: Come on, we need to be up there with "hitler".
Vik (laughing): Squad goals.
Josh: "hitler" and "ALLAH IS CUTE".
Simon: This is not a sentence I thought I'd ever say. Come on.
Josh: We wanna be as big as "hitler". (Simon and Vik laugh) I wonder how many balls "hitler" has.
Vik: ♪Hitler, you only had one ball.♫
- In another game of AGAR.IO:
- After being eaten under the name "poop", Simon changes his name to "jj killer" and ends up coming across "HARRY'S MUM", who is JJ. As JJ is starting to narrow in on Simon, a blob larger than both of them appears. Simon says "JJ, you're gonna die" mere moments before the large blob splits and eats JJ.
- JJ gets so legitimately bored that he asks, "How do I eat myself?"
- Skate 3:
- From WE MUST BEAT ETHAN:
- Josh being a complete screwball at the Kubic Khaos level, sometimes intentionally. One time, once the timer started he went in the opposite direction to get an "extra run-up".
- At the concluding Brute Chute level, all three of the Sidemen playing failed to clear the jump that the level provided them. The closest someone got to somewhat clearing it was when Ethan managed to get on top of the bent railing before the game glitched out.
- Josh beating his score of almost 56,000 just by cannonball jumping endlessly in a parking lot.
- From LEARNING TO FLY:
- The image of Josh's purple-mohawked and overweight character spiraling headfirst into the ground from the skies.
- The Mega Meat Mayhem level has a pretty clear opening that you can go through. Josh, being the first to go, somehow misses said opening and hits some metal railing instead.
- When Simon goes on the aforementioned Mayhem level, he keeps re-spawning and landing on his skateboard while he's trying to fall and get hurt (the point of the game), making him extremely confused as to what's happening.
- Another time when Simon goes, he gets stopped in his tracks by a slightly higher ledge that he has to jump over.
- "Josh just tries to fuck the floor." - Ethan
- From WE SUCK:
- Simon accidentally bailing at the start of the Bruise Cruise deathrace.
- All three of the Sidemen performing Coffins (lying down on your board) at the same time and simultaneously racing.
- When all three of the boys anticipate a big jump...only to slow to a halt at the top of the ramp.
- From FRESH MEAT:
- Another instance of a malevolent glitch: when Josh is the first to go on the Human Confetti level, he clips through some of the infrastructure, breaking his spine. The level then abruptly respawns him at the starting point, and after a good second or so it cuts to black.
- After Ethan has a particularly dismal run on the Human Confetti level, we hear a loud thump that is presumably from him. He then says that he accidentally disconnected his controller.
- From WE MUST BEAT ETHAN:
- In Simon and Josh's video of Soccer Physics:
Simon: I just broke your legs.
- At the start of the video, Josh accidentally holds his sombrero the wrong way. It wouldn't be important if all of the fans' game suggestions were in there, with Josh's flub causing all of the suggestions to fall out.
- Simon's marvelous kick.
- One of Simon's players winds up standing on one of Josh's players, forcing the ball out from under them.
- Simon and Josh both doing beauteous bicycle kicks into their own goals. Simon even topped his off with a nice and audible Face Palm.
- Equal parts funny and awesome: while balancing the ball on his head, Simon jumps up, sending the ball up into the sky and offscreen. The two believe that it's gone out of bounds...until it returns, rebounds off the crossbar, and rolls into Simon's vacated goal.
- When the game, for whatever reason, makes it so that Simon's team is all black and Josh's is all white.
- Simon and Josh's video of Akinator:
- Josh's random one-liners about having seen Simon in the shower, comparing Simon to a sloth in the sense that they both have STDs (apparently Simon has chlamydia), and randomly calling Simon gay, provoking Simon to push him.
- Josh has published a best moments video of the Sidemen's London 2012 sessions. Enjoy.
Ethan: Oi, my guy's penis is wham.
- Ethan commenting on his weightlifter's crotch:
- This session of the London 2012:
JJ: Oh fuck, wait, why are we doing diving?Tobi: JJ, we're in trouble.JJ: Oh for fuck sake.Josh: I think it is.
- The start of the diving event:
- JJ's angry reaction after failing miserably in his fourth dive:
Vik: Bro, you got too excited!Josh: He makes sure he was dead!
- The start of the shooting event, courtesy of Josh: "Shooting, here we go! JJ and Tobi!"
- After JJ accidentally shot twice on the same target on round 3, the other Sidemen's comments are just hilarious and line-crossing.
Simon: JJ, you should have fun with me down here! (The others laugh) You should have missed the board a couple of times!
- After the round shooting round was finished, Simon said this:
- JJ did not finish the swimming round. No, really.
- Josh's memetic quote in this session Trackmania Turbo:Josh: Your mother has a village!
Josh: Your mother has like four villages, in... New Zealand.
- Which gets escalated with this quote from Josh on a game of Death Stair when he got flung downwards miles away after being so close to the top of the stair:
- Ethan literally sacrificing JJ for his own freedom in this particular session after JJ baited Ethan to Josh (the murderer) and not healing Ethan when he freed himself from the hook hanging. Ethan's Evil Laugh of joy after he successfully captures JJ just adds to the fun part.
(JJ ignores Ethan's plea to heal him and runs away from Ethan)
- Just to make things worse for JJ, by the time he gets hanged, everyone else completely abandoned him and letting Josh to kill him.
- Here's the complete conversation of Ethan's sacrificing of JJ:
Ethan: Fucking heal me, you cunt! Oi Josh, come back over to the little mini house, bro!
Vik : (Realizes what Ethan's plan is) Oh no!
Ethan: Yeah J yeah, heartbeat's close, heartbeat's close, heartbeat's close Josh! Keep running around, there's 2 people running next to each other! There's 2 people running next to each other bro! (He sees Josh in the distance) There you go! There's one, look! Josh, Josh, to the left, behind you! Behind you! Behind this rock, look! On this rock, look! Josh, behind you! Josh, behind you! Look, Josh! Near! The one in the pink, Josh! The one in the way, the one in the pink!
JJ: Ethan, fuck you!
Ethan: Look, the one in the fucking pink! (JJ screams Ethan's name constantly) Nah, I'm following him, look! (Both of them goes up the tower) Look, this one up here, Josh!
Josh: Hehehehe, I'm following!
JJ (coincides with Ethan): It was your fucking fault!
Ethan: Josh, this one! Josh, get him! (JJ hides inside the cabinet inside the tower) Yeah Josh, get him, he's in this one! Josh, get him! Look, look, get him, get him! He's in there! He's in there! Josh, he's in there! He's in here! Josh, look, he's in here, bro! (Ethan opens up JJ's cabinet to show Josh where JJ is)
Josh: (Outside the tower) Where's here?
Ethan: Josh, look! Josh, look! He's in here, look! (Ethan opens up JJ's cabinet again, with Josh behind Ethan) Look Josh, he's in there! (Escapes said tower while Josh opens up JJ's cabinet)
JJ: ETHAN! ETHAN!
Vik : (Realizes JJ has been captured) Fuck!
(Ethan starts a very long Evil Laugh after he successfully escapes)
Simon (in the middle of Ethan's Evil Laugh): (Just realizes what Ethan's plan is) Fuck sake, Ethan!
- In Vik's ''Learning to FIFA'' #8 video with Josh,note he accidentally sold everything he got in his first pack while trying to store it to his club (which includes Lord Bendtner).Vik: We'll send him all to the club, so actually we'll have...
(Vik realizes he discarded the pack instead of storing it to the club. Cue Josh laughing upon it.)
Vik: Did I...
(Josh and Vik start to laugh.)
Josh: I see why you need to learn. LT is store, RT is sell!
- The gang having fun with the gate launch glitch in GTA V is a CMOF. Here's Simon's video and here's Vik's video. Highlights include:
Simon: What the- I just moonwalked. (realises where he stopped) I moonwalked into a job!
- Simon being launched by the gates into a player mission, twice.
(The gang are preparing to drive a bus through the gates.)
- Josh blasting off into the air like he's from Team Rocket.
- Sorting out a traffic problem:
Josh: I feel like there's a lot of cars piled up here.
JJ: Wait. I'll sort it out. (throws a sticky bomb)
Simon: No, no, no, no, no, we can work something out of this! (Ethan and Vik also say no repeatedly)
(Everything blows up, killing everyone, then JJ and Ethan laugh.)
Tobi: Wow, JJ. Wow.
Josh: Aw! The bus. (JJ and Ethan continue laughing) Oh, fuck off, Pegasus! I don't care if you're sorry!
Tobi: I mean, to be fair to him, the place is pretty clear right now.
Vik: This is why we can't have nice things!
Vik: Alright, we got someone [Josh] trapped inside the gate. (Vik drives the fire truck into the gate, then suddenly the fire truck teleports near the mouth of the Zancudo River.) Fire team needs to- oh- (Several Sidemen are Suddenly SHOUTING! something along the lines of "Oh my (fucking) God!")
- Vik jumps in the path of an SUV driven by Simon, then gets promptly whacked from the impact.
- A fire truck is driven up to the gate, then suddenly most of the Sidemen find themselves near Fort Zancudo. Simon is falling dead in the air with the game blaming Vik for killing him. Ethan gets flown off too, but survives and decides to grab a fighter jet. The remaining Sidemen in the fire truck (Vik, JJ, and Tobi) just drop to the sea.
Simon: What the actual fuck.
Vik: Where are we?! Where are we?!
JJ: Where the fuck... are we?
Vik: We're at the army base!
Simon: I'm just- [spinning dead in the air.] What, Ethan? (The fire truck crashes to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.) What just happened? (Fire truck rises to the surface.)
Ethan: Simon, we've got flown off the back, I'm now where the [fighter] jets are. (Fire truck sinks again to the bottom of the ocean.)
Simon: I am- I am also where the [fighter] jets are.
Ethan: I'm going to get a jet. (JJ, Vik and Ethan giggle)
JJ: What the fuck, Vik?
Josh (just noticing): What, you're by the military base.
Ethan: Yeah. (giggles)
JJ (high-pitched): What the fuck?!
Tobi: I don't- (realizing that Ethan is parachuting to Fort Zancudo and believing Simon to be doing the same thing) So they chuck the black people in water... they chuck the ethnics in water and the white people in law enforcement, OK. OK. (chuckles) OK!
Simon: Have you [guys] not come down yet?
Simon: The other guys.
Vik (getting his close-to-drowning avatar out of the fire truck and swimming towards the surface): We're at the bottom of the sea, man, I'm about to be sleeping with the fishies down right here.
- Ethan says the name of a GTA Online race's creator that makes the Sidemen (especially JJ and Tobi) go, "What?" He then comes up with this description of the user's name (XxnegozkxX):
- Even funnier is how everyone flips out after Ethan says "negoz" and it comes out sounding like "niggas".
- At the start of the race, there's a small patch of area on the ground that's randomly lit on fire. Tobi then says, "Ey look, my mixtape!"
- In the second round involving the "Dodge the Jet" last team standing match mentioned on the Sidemen's awesome moments page, Josh began to fly his jet out of the "hangar" only to crash the jet on a highway sign a moment later after a brief freak out from the game prompting him to go back into the legal match area. The dramatic background music suddenly stopping when it happened just adds to it.
- When JJ decided to troll the Sidemen on the last event of one playlist (a race with a high vertical spiral), he frustrated Tobi so much that Tobi threatened to do this to JJ's Lamborghini:Tobi: I'm going to shit on your Lambo. (JJ, Vik, and Josh crack up) You're laughing.
Josh (while laughing): It's a funny- It's a funny image.
Tobi: Wait, JJ you're at the [Sidemen] house, right? Right, OK. Right, I'm gone. (unintelligible) I'm off to the...
Josh: Lambo's not here.
- The way Simon pronounces "Electromagnetic Pulse" like he's being electrocuted.
- In a PlayStation 4 LTS match where one team is on a platform with grenades and pistols and the other team has to drive up to a platform with sports cars, at one point Simon and Josh are the platform team and Simon just killed Tobi with a well-timed grenade. Just when he tried to throw a grenade at Vik though, Vik knocked Simon over but not off the platform. Simon thought he survived, but then the grenade he tried to throw blew up next to him.
- In another "vehicles try to hit snipers on a platform" LTS match (this time at the wind farm), Josh (as a sniper) mocks Ethan (as a driver) for constantly missing him. Josh tries to bait Ethan by getting on top of Simon's exploded car resting on the platform... and actually gets hit.
- In a LTS match called EXTREME BULLDOZER SUMO, Simon, Ethan, Josh, Vik, and Tobi drive HVY Dozer bulldozers to knock players of a building.
- Before the match begins, Tobi (who paired up with just Vik) says to him, "Vik, we have the advantage, you're the closest to an Asian sumo wrestler."
- The first round becomes a quick Curb-Stomp Battle as Vik and Tobi take a little too long getting into their Dozers, thus getting promptly pushed off the edge by the other three.Tobi: No, no. Not like this. Not like this, racism, I call racism, I call racism! NOOOOOOOO!
- The only reason why the round goes on for a little longer is because Vik decided to stay in his Dozer on his fall down to the parking garage/car park below, while Tobi does the honor rule and gets out of his to commit suicide. His character hits the scoop of Vik's Dozer, causing the game to count it as Vik killing Tobi.note After realising that one of them is still alive, the others go down to finish the job. Vik tries to take Josh out of his Dozer, but Simon comes down to run Vik over.
- The second round Simon sets up a challenge in which the other Sidemen have to try to scoop him with the Dozers, but says so in a weird way.Simon: Alright, guys. We got a challenge. You got to try to scoop me, eh? We're gonna go bizzes.
Vik: (giggles) 'Scoop me, eh?'
Ethan: Simon, why did you do that?
Simon: We're gonna go bizzes, eh?
Ethan: (small laugh) Stop.
- The challenge ends quickly when Ethan accidentally runs over and kills Simon's character. The other remaining Sidemen all decide to throw Ethan off in retaliation. However, the other undriven Dozers in the way make it hard for them to do so, even causing Josh's Dozer to die out in the process.Ethan: (moving his Dozer's scoop up-and-down) ♪Put your hands in the air sometimes. Screaming ay-o!♫ (laughs)
Vik: (pushing Josh's Dozer forward) Go Josh, go.
Josh: Fuckin'... I'm trying to lift him! Lift!
Ethan: Vik takes this so seriously, listen to him. (bemused) Little fuckin' nerd! (Simon laughs) Get out here, pussy!
- They go back to get trying to kill the other team after a bit, and then it devolves into Dozer-stealing and smacking each other with baseball bats. Tobi gets tired of the slow bulldozers, gets out of his Dozer, comes up to Ethan trying to get his Dozer back from Vik, and bats him in the back of the head in a One-Hit Kill.Ethan: What the fuck?! (Tobi and Vik laugh) That's just cheatin'! The fuck?!
- The challenge ends quickly when Ethan accidentally runs over and kills Simon's character. The other remaining Sidemen all decide to throw Ethan off in retaliation. However, the other undriven Dozers in the way make it hard for them to do so, even causing Josh's Dozer to die out in the process.
- At the beginning of the final round, Simon states, "You know what? Fuck this." He then calls out Tobi, runs up to him, and Simon bats Tobi with Josh coming up to deliver the finishing blow.
- After Tobi's killed, Simon immediately goes for Vik in a Dozer, and pulls him out, leading Vik to compare the chaotic situation to gang culture. Vik would have been killed right after being thrown out, but Ethan runs over his teammates, which kills Simon. This buys Vik enough time to recover and go after the still alive Josh. When it seems that Vik was going to win, Josh runs away, decides that it's Better to Die than Be Killed, and has his character jump off the building. The round ends with a hilariously bad fight between Vik and Ethan that ends with Ethan taking advantage of Vik's early swing and batting him down.(Vik and Ethan's characters try to swing their bats at each other; both miss and run way from each other.)
Josh: Hit him with a golf swing tactic- Oh my g- these two are literally useless.
Simon: This is the worst fight I've ever seen in my life. (Vik swings too early; Ethan bats him down.)
Ethan (towards his teammates): What was that? What was that?! What was that?!
Vik (while laughing): Oh. Fuck. Me.
Josh: It was still a shit fight.
Tobi: It was a pretty terrible fight.
Josh: It just ended well, added a little final chill cam. (Ethan and Vik laugh)
Vik: I misjudged that so poorly.
Ethan: Ah... Vik took the early swing. (Laughs)
Vik: I just got dinked in the head. (Giggles)
Ethan: Your head just lined up perfectly.
- After Tobi's killed, Simon immediately goes for Vik in a Dozer, and pulls him out, leading Vik to compare the chaotic situation to gang culture. Vik would have been killed right after being thrown out, but Ethan runs over his teammates, which kills Simon. This buys Vik enough time to recover and go after the still alive Josh. When it seems that Vik was going to win, Josh runs away, decides that it's Better to Die than Be Killed, and has his character jump off the building. The round ends with a hilariously bad fight between Vik and Ethan that ends with Ethan taking advantage of Vik's early swing and batting him down.
- In a "Duck Hunt"-style LTS match, the first round starts with runners Ethan and Josh falling to their deaths almost as soon as the round began. Later on in the round, snipers Vik and Tobi push some explosive barrels off of their platform and the latter accidentally runs off the platform while doing so, hitting his head on a propane tank as he falls to his death.
- Vik claims he's bad at "Duck Hunt" events as he tries to snipe Simon.Vik: I'm really bad at these, Tobi, by the way. (snipes Simon)
Simon: NO! (mocking) Oh, I'm really bad at these, by the way. (The others laugh)
Vik: That was so such a fluke round.
- Later in the same video during a race in the clown vans, Tobi has trouble going up a jump, so Vik gives him a boost push ahead. However, as the two were about to finish the race before the DNF timer ends, Vik blasts Tobi with race rockets when Tobi was right at the finish line, taking fourth place and the finish from him. Vik cackles while the others react in disbelief over the betrayal.
- Vik claims he's bad at "Duck Hunt" events as he tries to snipe Simon.
- In Vik's 376th GTA "funny moments" video, there's a race on a boardwalk, which leads to lots of slipping and falling into the water. When Vik gets to the point where he can just take a ramp to the finish line, he decides to stay and act as "the gatekeeper", deliberately getting in people's ways, all while repeatedly saying, "I'm the gatekeeper." Even funnier is when we hear some sort of conflict going on between Tobi and Josh in the background:Tobi: Chillchillchillchillchill. Chill. CHILL. CHILL THE FUCK OUT, for fuck's sake! Every race you say to me, Josh.
Josh: It wasn't me!
- As this shows us, Tobi was getting angry because Josh was aggressively butting into him from behind.
- "SWIRLY RAMP IN VANS":
Tobi: JOSH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Every race. Every race.
- All of the Sidemen make fun of Ethan for not really knowing what Pokémon is. Then they proceed to list off a bunch of Pokémon that they think fit Ethan best.
- The moment when Josh fucks up a jump and casually steps out of his car and walks right into Tobi's path, allowing Tobi to unintentionally run Josh over.
- During a sky-high motorbike race, all of the boys discuss how much they want to suck on the little protruding circular bumps on the bike tyres, comparing them to nipples.
- Josh giving Tobi the rockets. His reaction is amazing.
- Ethan says he "made an explosion swag" during a motorbike race. Vik, Josh, and Simon run with this.
- In one video, Ethan goes to the toilet, and in the meantime Simon can't resist putting sticky bombs on his car. Ethan's reaction is priceless:Ethan: I'm on my way in the Turiz. Oh my fucking god, I've just seen what you've done.Simon: Bye!(BA-BOOM)
- The end of this race:(Simon is in second place and waiting at the finish line)Simon: JJ, make me finish. (JJ flies up and over him) Oh, SHIT!(JJ lands in the finish and takes second place. He laughs maniacally.)Simon: (finishes in third place) How did you go that fast?!JJ: Mate! Man decided to Lebron James your ass!
- JJ's adding a weird line when he and Ethan cover John Cena's theme.JJ (rapping): Your time is up, my time is now. You can't see me, I have no dad.
(Beat, followed by Ethan laughing)
Josh: (clears throat) Ahem... OK.
Simon: Fuck's sake.
Ethan (still laughing): I can't breathe!
- Simon lets JJ win a race for once, and JJ responds with... er... a "cute" kiss.
- In one race, Josh is in first place and within spitting distance of the finish line...but when he contacts with the ramp leading to the finish, he somehow crashes and dies, giving the win to Simon. He ends up fifth as a result.Simon: (amid everyone laughing in shock and disbelief) Josh died on that jump!Josh: The game's hating on me! The game hates me, fuck this!
- The original six Sidemen are struggling to climb a long container ramp from Paleto Bay to Mount Chiliad in classic-style sports cars. Then Ethan makes it to the top after JJ tries to take out Josh. Trolling and Hilarity Ensues.
- Of course, it appears as the race was pointless as it was supposed to be a GTA race; they needed to use turbos to reach the finish platform high in the air and it's impossible to reach it in a regular race.
- One race begins with JJ and Vik getting run over by a train for a split second in the vehicle select screen. When the race begins, their dead bodies are in front of the start line. Josh calls them "the Ghosts of JJ Past and Vik Past".
- "TROLLING ETHAN!!!"
Ethan: Ha-ha! Saw one.Simon: You think that's the only one?Simon: What, you're blowing them up?(You killed OfficialBehz)Ethan: Oh.
- Simon, in a commanding lead in a race, leaves sticky bombs for Ethan:
Simon: Oh, fuck, you're meant to stay in the walls. (Trollface appears)Ethan: Ha-ha!(Several seconds later)Ethan: Oi Simon, you baited me. (Simon laughs) Simon, you baited me! Simon, you baited me! SIMON! SIMON! (mix of laughing and cries of "Simon")Simon: I'm on the floor! I baited Ethan so hard!Ethan: You little cunt...
- And then, the video's namesake moment.
- Harry finally returns to GTA after a six-month absence:Harry: Yo, I genuinely don't know how to go forward.Josh: "A". It's literally "A".Harry: There's no A button, we're on PS4!
- In this race, Simon is in the lead, with Josh and Ethan, right next to each other, coming up behind him. Simon stops - and their cars, still side-by-side, hit him and fling him into the air. Cue Ethan laughing for a whole 30 seconds.
- In one deathmatch, Simon, trying to climb through a tower of buses, accidentally falls off, but safety lands in the water. Unfortunately for Josh and Vik on the other team, they had already lept off their platform in victory.Simon: Wait, if I can get through this gap, that's the only other place...(Simon dives out of the bus and falls. Everybody laughs)Josh: I'll save you! (jumps off his platform)Simon: I'm alive!(laughing abruptly stops)Josh: What? No, you're in the water, aren't you. I'm gonna die. (dies)Josh: ...We can't even arrange it properly...Simon: You guys are so dumb! Like, I'm a brick but then you guys are like..Josh: Why are we pricks? I thought you were gonna die!Simon: What, 'cause I fell off?Josh: Yeah!Simon: Well, there's sea below us.Josh: If you hit water at that speed you're going to die.Simon: Nah, I dived.
- The conclusion of this race. Simon stops at the finish line in first place with a large lead to screw with the others, killing Vik (who was in last place), putting down a mine, then waiting with an RPG. Ethan (in second) runs over the mine, but his exploded car hits and kills Simon as he rushes for the finish. All this allows JJ (in third) to cruise into the first place victory.
- During this race, random discussions about plumbers and plungers leads up to this gem:Josh: [JJ]'s a plungee.Simon: Plunjide.Vik: I get it.Simon: OK, I'm getting away from Plunjide. (Vik giggles) That sounds like Vik's wife.Vik: What?JJ (quietly): Oh. My. God. (Ethan and JJ laugh uproariously; Vik is silent for a whole minute.)Simon: Vik, are you still alive?Vik: What?
- Ethan getting ridiculously angry when he is unable to get up a thin path spiraling around a building and keeps falling off; this goes on for over two minutes.Ethan: The first thing is: if I fall off now, I'm a cunt.
(car slowly careens off the edge, sending Ethan into Rapid-Fire "No!" mode before it finally falls off)
Ethan (through gritted teeth): WHY DO I SAY SUCH STUPID SHIT?!
Ethan: (car falls off) AW—(thump)—I just put a hole in the desk. My controller's gone through my desk. My controller's just gone through my desk. There's a fucking hole in my—(drives car off again, another thump)
Josh: Oh, the rage!
Simon: Ethan, at least you have a sex hole now.
Ethan: (car almost falls off) Nah, if you fucking fall off now, you red cunt.
Vik: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Josh.
Josh: Nah, they're in the way. I'm trying to get into Ethan.
Simon: Lads, I've done it. I'm heading back!
Ethan: Shut up, lad, trying to get to me, you little fucking prick. Surely I'm near the top of this cunt building. Surely. (car careens and falls off) Oh—fuck off! FUCK OOOFF! Fuck off! Fuck—
Ethan: (sees Josh up ahead) No, I need the chance to get to the top of the building.
Vik: No! No! No, JOOOOOOSH! Josh, please!
Ethan: (car falls off) OH MY—(voice gets distant)—FUCKING—(leaves chair)
Vik: I'm down here!
Josh: Where's here?
Vik: I'm down here.
Vik: I'm on the fucking—
Simon: Oh fuck, I just saw Ethan fall.
Ethan: (car falls off, begins talking in a smarmy singsong voice) I'M GONNA FUCKING—(assortment of angrish coupled with loud thumps in the distance; screen changes to "please reconnect controller" message)
Ethan: If I foul one more time, I'm gonna throw up, and if you're blocking me off, I'm just gonna quit. (car falls off, angrish ensues)
- This video, appropiately named "Mega Ramp Rage"; saw Ethan getting ridiculously angry again when he is unable to get up an almost vertical ramp when he approached the top of the ramp due to Vik (and later Josh) continuously colliding Ethan when he almost reached the top. (The actual good stuff starts here in the video.)Ethan: (approaching the top of the ramp) Hey, Vik! (seeing Vik dropping down the ramp) No! No! No! No! (his bike slowly falling down, while Julio Kladniew's "One" playing in the background) NOOO! VIK, STOOOP!
(Ethan's avatar respawns to the last checkpoint, as Vik pulls out an Evil Laugh)
Simon: Did you push him off?
Vik: Guys, they put me in a power position.
Ethan: Vik is a fucking idiot!
Vik: Oh no!
(Ethan's avatar failed to bunny hop the ramp from the checkpoint, causing his avatar to fall down again)
Ethan: Fuck off, Vik! You ruined the whole game! Fuck you!
Vik: Wait, I think you have to bike the whole way down...
Josh: (approaching the top of the ramp) You do.
Simon: (approaching Ethan's current position, seeing Ethan about to fall off again) No! Please please please, can I, can I... (voice gets distorted as Ethan screams the line below) Let me get this checkpoint!
Ethan: (while disrupting Simon's plea) I was right there Vik, you're prick!
(Ethan finally manages to get near the top again)
Vik: (still at the top of the ramp) Oh my God, this is so annoying!
Simon: Hey, hey; I'm just... (voice gets distorted again as Vik screams the line below)
Vik: This is so difficult, isn't it, Josh?
(Unbeknownst to Vik, Josh has just pushed Ethan from the top again)
Ethan: (bike falls off) FUCK OFF! YOU ORANGE PRICK! FUCK OFF!!!
(Ethan respawns at the same place again)
Simon: Yeah, I reversed it.
(We saw Vik trying to cycle down the ramp.)
Simon: Em, that didn't work. Right, I got the checkpoint...
(Ethan does not bunny hop in time, causing his bike to fall off again)
Ethan: (bike falls off) FUUUUUCK!!!
(Ethan finally manages to bunny hop the ramp again)
Simon: We need to stop Ethan!
Vik: (simultaneously with Ethan) Why?
Ethan: (simultaneously with Vik) Fuck off!
Simon: Coz it's funny!
Vik: (happily) Okay!
Josh: Ah, it's mean!
Ethan: You're a dickhead!
(We see both Vik and Simon falling off the ramp on Ethan's left side, presumably trying to push him off)
Simon: HAHA! NO! NO! Shit...
Ethan: You guys are a fucking idiot!
Vik: Did everyone hit him or nah?
Vik: Did you hit him? I got I got...
Ethan: Fuck off about "I got", you little prick!
Vik: I got a gap...
Simon: We all going down, we all going down...
(We see both Vik and Josh suddenly appearing in front of Ethan, this time they succeed while both Vik and Josh pulls out a laugh)
Ethan: CHOKE ON RICE! SLIP IN THE SHOWER!
Vik: Oh dear...
(Moments later, Ethan tries to bunny hop the ramp again when Vik's bike clips him off again)
Vik: No. You can not, there's a jump to here...
Ethan: Vik! You little cunt! It's not funny...
Vik: I wasn't even trying at that point...
Ethan: I'm actually, oh you actually piss me off now...
(Moments later, Vik's bike clips Ethan off again)
Ethan: Simon, fuck off.
Ethan: NOOO! YOU'RE ACTUALLY PISSING ME OFF!!! Don't try to do it!
Vik: I'm crying...
(Moments later, Vik's bike clips Ethan off yet again)
Simon: I keep turning...
Ethan: FUCK OFF!!! VIIIIIKKK!!! I'M GONNA CRY!!!
Josh: (dropping down the ramp) Full speed ahead!
Vik: This is better than finishing the race! It is more satisfying...
(Moments later, Ethan approaches the top of the ramp again)
Vik: Josh, I did it. But it didn't work.
Josh: (Noticing Ethan approaching the top) He's gonna make it! He's gonna make it!
Simon: Right, Ethan's done it, Ethan's done it...
Ethan: But I haven't, though.
(Vik and Simon clips Ethan yet again; as Vik laughs and Ethan went silent and bangs his controller to the table, presumably making yet another hole in Ethan's desk)
Vik: No he hasn't!
Simon: (hears Ethan bangs his controller) Oh shit, oh shit...
Josh: He was so close...
Ethan: Right, I don't know if you think this is funny or not!
Josh: I think he does...
Simon (in a lower voice): I don't do this...
Ethan: FUCK OFF! I was at the top!
- From Vik's 579th "GTA V Funny Moments" video:
Vik: (after JJ gets the rockets) JJ, no, JJ, please don't, please don't. No, no, please, please. Actually fucking no. JJ, fuck off! JJ, no! (laughs) Guys! He's got a rocket..and he's parked! (rockets and boosts respawn, Vik gets the rockets; JJ tries driving away) Ha-ha, you done fucked up now! (gives JJ the rockets as he unleashes a Big "NO!")
- The first race begins with all the pickup trucks wildly glitching from being too close to each other.
- When Vik tries using a boost to get past JJ, he ends up gaining a brief and small lead and also ends up running into the boost icon...while JJ drives into the rocket icon. Even worse is how JJ deliberately stands in his way and only allows Vik to beg for his life. JJ does end up getting a quite karmic comeuppance, made even sweeter considering how much he makes Vik his Butt-Monkey.
- From Vik's 581st "GTA V Funny Moments" video:
Ethan: Oh, no! Simon! Help! No—(gets hit the wrong way and spins out)—SIMONHELPMEEEE! (unintelligible scream) [...] Oh, for fuck's sake! I'm fucking last! SIMON!
- In the first race (which happens to have all the Sidemen playing), Vik ends up tailgating Ethan and ultimately hits him from behind in a way that makes him spiral out of control. This alone is funny, but the additional commentary of Ethan crying out to Simon for help and subsequently screaming makes the moment hilarious.
- From the "last team standing" death run:
- The Sidemen are confused by the rampant grammar errors in the level description. Made even funnier when Simon tries to pronounce his way through. "Wait , it's realy of waterman, noooo, Poseidon is crazy , the sea isn't't with we ."
- In the betting screen, both teams are inexplicably in midair and positioned so that just their shoes are visible from the top of the camera. Vik then comments on his and JJ's shoes, since they get paired up, and tries to give him support. JJ is less receptive.
- At the start of round 2, Vik goes to a point in the level that he can't jump over, and angles the camera to switch his weapon...right as a bunch of support beams come raining down right behind him, leaving him untouched. He then tries walking left..and falls right off the edge of the platform to his death.
- Especially funny is how cowardly Vik's character looks clutching his machete, and it's a grim sort of funny in how his character dies: he lands back-first on a ledge and dies instantly before falling the rest of the way down.
- When Vik tries helping JJ as he's spectating, he watches JJ get into a red pickup truck and advises him to cut a corner a tiny bit. This is followed almost immediately by JJ driving right off the side of the platform.
- In Round 4, Vik gets into a pickup truck and asks JJ to get in the back. He only obliges for a good half-second before he jumps right out and almost falls off the edge of the platform. After JJ inexplicably rides shotgun, Vik then gets to a point where it would've been more reasonable for JJ to have been riding in the back. "See, JJ, this is where..you wanted to be in the back."
- JJ making it to where he was supposed to go, and Vik telling him to continue alone..right as a truck and a bunch of support beams land right on the pickup truck. He survives, but the truck gets moderately banged up and ultimately catches fire, prompting Vik to forget to think for a second and exit out of the driver's seat and fall off the edge.
- From Vik's 588th GTA V Funny Moments video:
Ethan: My dirtbike is handling the dirt as it should.
- "Oh, you little shit on a turt!" - Josh
- Ethan experiences problems with his dirtbike.
Vik: Is it eating dirt?
Ethan: Oh, what the fuck? Okay, so it turns out dirtbikes don't handle tree.
Vik: Otherwise, it'd be called a...
Vik and Simon: Tree-bike.
- From Ethan's THE BEAST CROSSBAR GYM!
Ethan: BAM! BAM! BAM! Who was that?Josh: Who was that?
- The first race ends with a farting sound being heard.
Ethan: Yeah, Boggo!
Harry: Wasn't me!
Ethan: It deffo was!
Josh: That was mad! Who was that?
Ethan: Josh, did you let it go? Josh let it rip!
Harry: I'm gonna mute that bit!
- Harry then gives himself away
Vik: Hey Ethan.
- The second race begins with Harry's car upside-down.
- Vik laps Ethan, and gives him the rockets. What makes it is Ethan's angry reaction.
Ethan: Fuck off, Vik.
(Vik gives Ethan the rockets)
Ethan: VIK! I DID'NT GET THE... there's another hole in my desk. I didn't get the checkpoint! You're such a fucking little carpet-riding cunt! What the fuck was that?
Vik: Are you mad?Ethan: Like, why would you do that? You owe me a desk!
Ethan: I'm so sorry!
- Tobi gets extremely angry through most of the race, due to him struggling with the obstacles, and the others constantly killing him. Then at the very end, Ethan gives him the rockets, causing him to rage quit. Ethan laughs for a whole 20 seconds.
- The first time the Sidemen plays it, involving Josh & Simon (Josh's point of view) (Simon's point of view):
Josh: Is it a dinosaur or a baby?
- The fact that Josh uses Daddy Af as the title for that particular session.
- After meeting Simon (as the baby) for the first time:
Josh: You're green! You're a green baby!
- Josh immediately laughing after he found a dildo (named "strange rubber object") inside one of the drawers in the parents room.
- When the baby turned green (i.e. sick after drinking bleach) for the first time:
- This is also the only episode where the dad won more rounds than the baby.note
- Simon and Josh's second session (Josh's point of view) (Simon's point of view):
Josh: Hey guys, and welcome to Who's Your Daddy! I am the daddy today...
- The intro:
Josh: No! I gave him banana!
- During the second round, Josh misses the taser shot. Cue his body to, as Simon says, "spazzing out".
- When Simon killed himself with the power outlet, this happens:
Simon: (chuckles, noticing the baby turning black) Did the baby just turned black...
Josh: Is baby died because black? Is this game racist?
- Remember when Vik fumbled one of his Rocket League intro and said it's Overwatch instead? In this video, recorded around two weeks after that particular Rocket League session, Josh did the exact same mistake:Josh: Hey guys, and welcome to Overwatch 4v4...
Josh: Oh my God.
Vik: Over-watch out, really close!
Josh: Yeah! Welcome to ShellShock!
MinecraftVik, being the only Minecraft YouTuber from the Sidemen, currently runs a yearly series known as How to Minecraft. As of now, the series is ongoing with the third season. Despite there are almost no Sidemen involvement in the series, some moments from the third season has been shown in several Sidemen funniest moments compilations, such as this one.
- In episode seven, Vik, along with Rob (MrWoofless) goes to Matt's (Nadeshot) igloo to see the sword they have stolen from Brandon (JeromeASF) of the red team. As soon as Vik opened the small chest near the bed, the floor that Vik and Matt standing collapsed, killing them instantlynote . Cue a facepalm from Vik and Rob laughing like mad from that.
- In the ninth episode, early in the video, Vik told the viewers that the Sidemen house has just ordered some food and it is expected to arrive right on the start of Vik's live streamnote . So, he called JJ to check on the food.Vik (On JJ's room): Yo JJ, food's here.
JJ: Oh, for real?
Vik: Yeah, apparently outside.
(Vik started to run back to his room)
Vik: It's alright; I'm told my housemate to get that, and now, umm, we're all good.
- In the tenth episode, Vik tried to bring 8 baby cows from the farm (which has blown up by a Creeper) into his team's main base. He only succeeded bringing one alive. Five of them died after being blown up by a Creeper (along with Vik), one died by running into the fire from Matt's igloo, while the last one died by deciding to screw Vik and running straight into fire below the base.
Tobinote : Crazy Cows hahahhaha
- Even then, the single cow that made it alive also attempts to escape from the base. The cow almost succeed if Vik and Rob didn't quickly react from it.
- Heck, even Tobi had to react from it. Here is Tobi's reaction from the video's comments:
- What's worse than that? Several episodes later; more specifically episode thirteen; the cows from the base was somehow struck by a lightning, resulting in all of them cooked into steaks. Mind you, the base already has a roof on it...
- Eventually, Vik decided to have a plush baby cow doll dedicated to the cows that have died on the base... Only for Vik to throw said doll to the floor just moments later.
- In episode twelve, Vik wants to show the viewers a Christmas-themed skin that he used starting from that episode. Cue Vik showing up a full leather armor instead of the skin.Vik: Three, two, one, BOOM.
Beat (Vik realizes that the new skin hasn't been shown yet)
Vik: Umm... BOOM.
- This session (Video link: Vik, Simon, JJ):
Vik: (after he, JJ, and Tobi died in the first trap in round two) And then there was one.
- The start of the video saw JJ's character getting beaten up by Josh and Tobi to the point there's a lot of blood ended up on the wall behind.
- All of the extra sound effects Vik added in his video.
- The map's first trap was so overpowered, the first two rounds saw three out of four runners got killed in the first trap alone.
Vik: JJ was really fridgered.
- On the second round, when the fan trap killed Simon, we saw his body ended up bouncing from the end of the trap.
- On the third round on the door trap, Simon chose the wrong door, while on the same time Josh chose the correct door. Ten seconds later, cue JJ entering the door that Simon take.
- On the fourth round, Josh went all the way to the boulder. Vik activates the boulder, which Josh manages to escape... to a trap that Vik had not activated before.
- After they exit the first house, a fridge will fall down from above as soon as a Runner goes out from the door. In the fifth round, after JJ finished the slight maze just before the exit, he ran straight outside... only to get crushed by said fridge.
Vik: You guys are a bad friend.
- In the sixth round, on the spike trap in the third area, JJ manages to escape, just. Cue the others trying to mug JJ off by telling him to keep running.
Vik: He took a trap for you and you try to sell him out.
- In the eighth round, Vik manages to get to the final trap (A boost jump that brings the Runners to the end game selections, in which in the middle there is a gap that the Death can block it). He goes to jump... only for Josh to block it as soon as Vik take the boost jump.
- The fact that every Runner who manages to get to the end game selections wants to go choose the AWP.
- In the ninth round, during the spinning pillars trap, JJ somehow manages to get hit from behind.
- In the eleventh round, Josh tried to outrun the Death by bunny-hopping. However, on the ice trap, he bunny-hopped too far, causing him to hit the grass and died instantly.
- Also, on that round, the surviving Runners chose to reverse the situation (i.e. Death is now the Runners, and vice versa). Vik died instantly in the first trap. The funny thing? On Vik's video, he adds a slow-motion replay of his death... with I Believe I Can Fly playing on the background.
- Playing Death Run in a pool-themed map (Video links: Ethan, Simon, Vik, JJ):
- The Sidemen lambasting the England team after they lost to Iceland in the Euro 2016 in their first round:
JJ: Hey guys! So it's the night after, uh, us losing to Iceland! And we're playing Death Run!
- This line from JJ at the start of the video:
- Then Ethan suggests to put the England players in Death Run. Josh said that would be a great idea.
- Then Simon said that after watching the England v Iceland game, he wants to kill himself in the game. Cue JJ suicide killing himself in the first trap as a response.
- Then Ethan said that he has better reactions than Joe Hart. This is even funnier in Vik's video, since he showed a Photoshopped photo of Joe Hart with Ethan's face instead of Hart's face.
- Anytime the Sidemen ran into the sparks from a broken generator in the second trap and kills themselves in the process.
- All the Sidemen have a complete struggle with the ladder at the end of the second pool.
- In one of the rounds, JJ killed all the others with just 2 traps.
- Josh tried to dive to the mattress trap, thinking that it's a landing pad.
- When they reach the shark trap for the first time, Josh is confused that the platform moves away from him. Cue Josh walking into the water and kills himself when trying to get onto the platform.
- When it's JJ's turn at the shark trap, he simply rams the shark.
- Ethan's "Oh, no!" reaction when Josh activated the cheats again.
- When they finally reach the end for the first time, Vik gets left behind after the others chose to do a Pac-Man minigame. Cue Vik spawning right next to the Death and kills the already-injured Death with just one hit.
- The Sidemen lambasting the England team after they lost to Iceland in the Euro 2016 in their first round:
- At one point in a game with Ethan, Vik, Simon, Josh, and JJ:(Ethan does a God-awful impression of a T-rex when Josh asks what it sounds like)
Ethan: Can everyone do their best T-rex impression?
(Vik and JJ talk in background)
Josh: Did you hear it? Did you hear it?
Simon: Yeah. Coincidentally, that's also what Ethan's mum sounds like on a Friday.
Ethan: ...I would hit you.
- Ethan, Josh, Simon, and Vik plays Murder in an office (Video link: Josh, Simon, Vik):
Ethan: (realizing he's dead) Oh my God, he got me. I got stuck by a toilet! The toilet saved his life!
- In the first round, Ethan (who has the gun) told the rest to work (this is an office map, after all) or he will shoot them with his revolver.
- The moment when both the Murderer & the Bystander with the gun were the last persons standing and both failed to hit the other with their knife throw/revolver shots so many times.
- When Ethan becomes the murderer in the third round, Vik's life was spared thanks to a toilet.
Simon: Stab stab stab (he sees Vik pulling out his knife) oh shit.
- On the next round, when Simon (as the murderer) got shot, his body flew so hard it shatters the glass door behind him.
- Vik and Simon were told to enter the same toilet room. No one knew that Vik is the murderer. Hilarity Ensues.
Simon: Are you serious? I just got started!
- The round afterwards, Simon got killed in less than 5 seconds.
- On one round, Vik declared that he will shoot the first person he sees. The first person he met turned out to be the murderer. Thus, he manages to end the round in just 3 seconds.
- The Sidemen does a Prop Hunt on a house full of secrets (Video link: Vik, Josh, Simon):
Ethan: (After Vik gets spotted in the second round) Honestly bro, Vikkstar is an issue! Vikkstar is the big issue of the universe!
- Ethan calling Vik as "Vikkstonk" in the intro.
- In Ethan & Vik's first two rounds as Props, Vik manages to be found by the Hunters in under 45 seconds both times. And in both cases, they ended up getting killed not long after Vik was spotted.
Simon: Peace! (Hits the wrong part of the wall) Oh wait, I miss!
- Josh & Simon's first two rounds as Prop saw them using secret rooms that Josh found by learning the map before-hand. In the first round, Ethan accidentally found the secret room near the toilets and managed to kill both of them (Simon took slightly longer to kill, as he briefly escaped when Josh got killed). In the second round, as Simon wants to show the Hunters the other secret room:
Vik: That was great! That was absolutely great!
- In Ethan & Vik's third round as Props, Ethan goes downstairs while the Hunters are near the bottom stairs after Josh killed Vik near there. Inevitably, Ethan gets killed a short time later.
- In Josh & Simon's third round as Props, they managed to survive almost for the entire round. That is, until Josh sprayed his own channel logo near where they were hiding with 10 seconds left. After guiding Vik to near where they are hiding. Cue Vik kliing both Josh & Simon in under 10 seconds.
- In Ethan & Vik's fourth round as Props, Ethan somehow manages to turn himself into a very long red water pipe outside the house. No one can believe how he managed to do that.
- In Josh & Simon's fourth round as Props, Josh somehow manages to turn himself into a ventilation door. He then stays on top of an opened wooden door. Hilarity Ensues when Vik found his location.
- On the final round, when Vik died, his body went flying head-on to the front door.
- Another game, another new gimmick. This time, it's the bouncing balls and ball collision (Video link: Vik, Tobi, Simon):
- Simon's complete struggle throughout the entire session.
- In the second hole, Josh scored the hole in one (with the help of the bouncing rules), and somehow the ball bounced out of the hole. Hilarity Ensues when Simon mistook the ball as someone's ball who doesn't enter the hole yet, as Simon wants to hit the ball to screw them over.
- Josh brief moment of constantly missing the shortcut in the third hole, by either overbouncing it or shot it with not enough power.
- In the fourth hole, Simon promptly forgot about the collision rule and promptly hits Josh's ball.
- In the eight hole, there was an very obvious shortcut that everyone can take thanks to the bounce. Cue Josh trying to go through the rotating platform and somehow bounces out of the arena on the right side.
- On that same hole, Simon fell down to the platform below said rotating platform. He can't get out of there for a while.
- Vik somehow manages to escape getting hit from both Simon and Josh in the eleventh hole.
- Simon somehow manages to block Vik from entering the hole in the fourteenth hole, by entering it just a split second before Vik gets by.
- Once they realized Vik manages to get an absurd 4 hole-in-one in a row, Simon and Josh, who were falling so far behind, decided they do a X Must Not Win strategy to Vik. While Vik briefly manages to get away, they ultimately succeed.
- In this game, Josh ends up nudging into Simon's ball, eliciting a Big "NO!", only for Josh to hit him again, which makes Simon's ball glitch out of control, eliciting another larger Big "NO!".
- Ethan tried this for the first time, playing with Josh and Simon, and Josh's ball has a crown too (Video link: Josh, Simon):
- This weird conversation after Ethan completed the first hole:Simon: Right, first hole is the practice hole.
Simon: Now we play.
Ethan: That's just like losing your virginity, in it? First hole's a practice hole.
- Ethan asks why Josh's ball has a crown. Josh's reaction? "Because I'm sick."
- This led to Simon and Ethan wanting Josh to give the crown to Ethan when Ethan somewhat trickshots his last shot in the fifth hole.
- In the eight hole, Ethan pointed out about why the holes are not realistic. Josh then pointed out that no one (or "the air" as Josh said) is hitting the ball.
- Simon getting angry at the eleventh hole because a piece of wood because it moved so slow, it blocked the hole's shortcut.
- This weird conversation after Ethan completed the first hole:
- From "TRIVIAL PURSUIT WITH THE SIDEMEN" (MM7Games).
Simon: This could be fun, y'know. This could be Funyuns.
- The different characters that the three receive: Josh gets a swagged-out teenage kid, Ethan gets a black, muscular man wearing a chef toque, and Simon gets a young, nerdy-looking girl.
- The Running Gag of someone (usually Ethan) randomly chanting "cookin' and flippin' and" or "look at the flick of the wrist". Made even funnier when Ethan sadly proclaims "I'm not cookin' and flippin' anymore" when he starts losing.
- When the three characters are shown on their first, second, and third-place podiums come the end of the first round, Ethan says this about his character (with his bold crossed-arms stance):Ethan: Why do I still look like I've got the sickest mixtape that's just dropped?Josh: We're like a new band.
- After Ethan fails the first question of round two, he states, "My mixtape is still better than yours."
- Simon getting angered when Ethan and Josh don't pick the "arts and literature" category, which he apparently majored in (his character is also labeled as an "arts and lit" fan).
- The second round running on a mechanic that forces players to have to choose an independent answer. So basically, once the best answer is taken, you're pretty much fucked.
Simon: I'm orange! You're blue, you weirdo!Ethan: Shut up, Matilda!
- For the "which planet has the shortest days" question, Simon decides to choose Uranus out of pure banter... and actually gets the highest answer out of the three.
- This exchange, started by Ethan getting his colors mixed up.
- From "I KNOW IT!".
- For the final round, Ethan and Simon started harnessing the power of Emon and choosing answers together. Out of all of their answers, there was only one instance where they got a question wrong. This led to Josh and Tobi being practically left in the dust, with Tobi complaining that "Emon needs to die."
- When Ethan calls Firefox "the biggest heap of AIDS", Simon defensively states that he still uses it.
- The repeated cases of Ethan accidentally giving everyone the answer, much to the players' chagrin.
- From "SMARTNESS TEST".
- When it is noted that Ethan's character has SpongeBob on his denim jacket, Josh and Simon impersonate the infamous "SpongeBobbu" Japanese commercial.
- One question asks to choose which of two waterfalls is named after royalty: Niagara or Victoria. Ethan chooses Niagara.
- At one point, the game keeps offering Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson as the two answers with interchanging questions. Simon then wishes that the game would ask which player starred in Space Jam. Eventually, the question actually appears. (It's a shame Simon was out and couldn't pick.)
- From Vik's "TRIVIAL PURSUIT #1":
- Josh stating that if someone can't identify the South African flag, they're racist.
- When Vik manages to correctly guess "South Africa", he proclaims, "THANK YOU, BASED GODS!"
- Josh pronouncing "desert" as "dessert" and "Roger" as "rugger".
- During JJ's first game:
- The utter shock of everyone when JJ wins his very first Trivial Pursuit game.
- JJ's victory speech.JJ: I wanna thank my mom, I wanna thank my dad, I wanna thank my pet, my pet...
Josh: I thought you said, "I wanna thank my mouth."
JJ: My pet dick. (Ethan and Simon crack up) I just- I just-
Ethan (while laughing): My pet dick!
- From a session involving Simon, Ethan, Josh, and Vik:
- During the fourth question during the first round, the game asks what cabbage dish is a staple of Korean dishnote . Ethan tries to cheat by googling Kimchi... only to answer Chow Chow.
- Which of these gods are Egyptian deities? Ethan immediately chose Isis as his first answer.
- During the novels by Fyodor Dostoyevsky question, one of the answers is "The Idiot". Hilarity Ensues when its Simon's second go on that question.
- One question asks what European conflict that lasts 116 years, and one of the answers is The Hundred Years War. Cue Simon choosing Wars of the Roses.
- This line from Josh during the "animals with longest pregnancy" question:Josh: Oi, Norway Rat! 21 days pregnant! Imagine like, a girl, or humans with that! Like, JJ would have like 42 kids!
- One question asks who plays for the Chicago Bulls: Michael Jordan or Magic Johnson. Josh chose Magic Johnson.
- From Ethan's STOP THE ABUSE!:
- Right of the bat, Josh screwing up the intro.
- JJ and Simon being the last two standing on one question of the final round, and JJ thinking that he's won the wedge even though Simon actually got it. A lengthy, cringey explanation from the rest of the Sidemen ensues. This makes no sense until the game displays a "waiting for players" message that everyone except JJ sees. JJ says he's getting different questions, and it's revealed that he was celebrating on that question because it was a different question that he actually got right.
- Josh's summary of Hans Zimmer's music: "Bwong."
- In a session between Josh, Ethan, Vik, and Tobi, Ethan payed the fine to leave jail and landed on Marylebone Station.note He bought the property for 200 Monopoly money, but accidentally pressed the button to mortgage it. Despite a warning from a "Do you want to continue?" prompt, he ended up mortgaging it, then payed off the mortgage almost immediately. Nice waste of ten monies, Ethan!
- Later, Ethan landed on Vine Streetnote and decided to hold an auction. As everyone fought over the property, Vik (who had the least money at that point) decided to keep bidding for the sake of banter. This backfired after Ethan withdrew from the auction, as Tobi and Josh decided to keep bidding in order to make Vik broke. Vik ended up spending all his remaining 373 Monopoly money for the property. Lucky for Vik though, he got to pass "Go" on his next turn... only to get a Community Chest card to go directly to jail.
- "HOSPITAL FEES?!" — Tobi landed on Community Chest and got a card that forced him to pay 100 Monopoly money to pay hospital fees. At that point, he only had 32 Monopoly money and owned just a monopoly on pink properties, and desperately wanted to go to jail.
- In another game between Vik, Josh, and Ethan, Vik gets so royally screwed over in the second half of the game with unlucky rolls (many of them doubles, but not enough to go to jail) that he gets Driven to Madness from the stress of it all.
- Near the end, Vik has to pay rent to Josh for Leicester Squarenote and of course can't afford it thanks to Josh having two houses on it. To pay it off, Vik makes a crazy deal with Josh asking for all 426 of his Monopoly money (which Josh will get 330 Monopoly money back) and the mortgaged Electric Company in exchange for Whitechapel Road,note King's Cross station,note and a mortgaged Euston Road,note allowing Josh to have all four railroad stations and a monopoly on light blue properties. After the exchange was accepted, Josh had to pay the bank to either pay off the mortgage on Euston Road or keep it with the mortgage, but the game did not give Vik the chance to pay rent first. Thus, Josh mortgages Whitechapel Road, forcing him to pay three Monopoly money immediately afterwards to keep that mortgage, and then pays the five Monopoly money fee to keep Euston Road's mortgage. Just as Vik was going to walk around to cool down from the stress, the game stops working properly and would not continue. The three were just stunned that Vik's deal with Josh managed to break the game; even Vik actually leaving the game did nothing to fix it.
- As a result of the game breaking, the three decide to hold an online straw poll for viewers to decide who won the game. As of June 15, 2015, Vik has the most votes with about 73% of the vote, the viewers going with the technicality that Vik did have the most money when the game stopped working (632 over Ethan's 72 and Josh's 22).
- Here's part one of a five-player game between Josh, Vik, Ethan, Tobi, and JJ. (See the full game on JJ's second channel here.)
- Early in the game, Vik lands on the Electric Company, which he did not want and thus holds an auction for it. After the bid reaches 122 Monopoly money, which Josh and Vik withdraw on, Ethan accidentally adds 100 Monopoly money to the bid, causing him to pay 222 Monopoly money over the original 150 asking price after Tobi and JJ withdraw. Bonus funny points for his "Oh, fuck!" when he realizes what he did.
- After Tobi and JJ make a trade which leaves JJ with the pink monopoly with an extra 251 Monopoly money in his wallet and Tobi with the red monopoly with that same amount of money less, Tobi notices that JJ left him with 666 Monopoly money.Tobi: Oi, no, look what you left me with! (semi-defensively) I am a child of God! (Vik, Ethan, and JJ laugh)
JJ (jokingly): He has died!
Vik: Was that intentional, JJ?
- Nearly the entirety of part two has the Sidemen losing it when JJ's ridiculously good luck causes him to dominate the game.
- JJ, Tobi, Vik, and Josh play with speed dice to make things interesting, but it gets really interesting when Josh decides not to start building houses on his monopolies.
- After more than fifty-nine minutes into Josh's video, the video does a Jump Cut to the end of the game showing Vik and JJ having declared bankruptcy and Tobi leading, despite that JJ was dominating the game just before the sudden cut, then it cuts back to where the game was beforehand. As the remaining five minutes show, we see that the game glitched and disconnected Vik and JJ, and suddenly Tobi was easily winning auctions for their properties. Tobi desperately wanted to declare himself the winner at that point, but the other three Sidemen said no, and they ended the game from there.
- Simon finally joins the party in one of the tightest games yet.
- Josh ends up becoming the Butt-Monkey of the game as he continuously pays rent and struggles to get properties. At one point he loses 108 money in a single go: he pays 50 money to get out of jail, rolls a double, then pays Simon 14 money for his orange property. He then rolls another double and pays Vik 20 money for his red property, then finally pays Simon 24 money for his yellow property.Josh: That was a very expensive roll, that was!
- JJ's ridiculous luck comes into play yet again as he, despite everyone's efforts to prevent it, acquires the pink set with what money he has left. And then on his very next turn he lands on Free Parking and gets all 550 money stored in itJJ: Well. You know what time it is, baby... (Evil Laugh as he builds houses)
- Almost an hour into the game, Vik manages to obtain and put houses on the blue set. Josh lands on it and in one go is reduced from 1483 to 83 money. Cue Mass "Oh, Crap!" among the Sidemen.
- Josh ends up becoming the Butt-Monkey of the game as he continuously pays rent and struggles to get properties. At one point he loses 108 money in a single go: he pays 50 money to get out of jail, rolls a double, then pays Simon 14 money for his orange property. He then rolls another double and pays Vik 20 money for his red property, then finally pays Simon 24 money for his yellow property.
- In a game between JJ, Simon, Vik, and Josh, Vik has an epic breakdown when he gets all the bad luck and is jealous of JJ's good luck.
- In their first game (with the Zentorno Gang of Simon, Ethan, and Josh), hilarity and banter ensued.
- In Josh's video, Ethan somehow managed to have a "deez nuts" white card. Once he played it, Josh (as the Czar) selected it without a second thought about it.
- The black card is "TSA guidelines now prohibit ___ on airplanes." Josh somehow managed to have a 9/11 card, and had to gratuitously apologize to the viewers before selecting it. However, it wound up losing to "warm, velvety muppet sex".
- One highlight with Simon as the Card Czar: "If you had to describe, the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be?" Simon fully expected a straight insult incoming. Ethan delivered exactly what Simon expected with "A botched circumcision." Cue a loud laugh from Josh and Ethan cracking up as usual.
- From Vik's third episode:
Simon: When you get right down to it, dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up is just owls. (Quick beat; the others laugh.)note
- JJ absolutely losing it while reading Vik's three-piece white card answer: "I went from Tiger Woods to beating your wives all thanks to Shaquille O'Neal's acting career."
- Simon blunt reading of Josh's two-piece white card answer for "When you get right down to it, _____ is just _____." As Josh himself says so, "That one's so shit that it's funny." Although it loses to JJ's "When you get right down to it, Justin Bieber is just crying and shitting and eating spaghetti."
- JJ pronouncing "Pharaoh" as "Pharoha".
- JJ getting upset with some of the cards that are played in his vicinity dealing with race ("blackface", "whipping a disobedient slave").
- Josh casually saying "the moist, demanding chasm of his mouth". Vik even suggests that someone take a soundbyte of him saying that.
- Now with Tobi playing alongside Josh, Simon, Vik and JJ, we've got five Sidemen playing for even more CAH banter.
Vik: What's the most emo? Stepping on a god damn friggin' lemmo.note Lemmo! (facepalm)
- "What's the most emo?": The first card played was so funny to Card Czar Vik that he mispronounced that last word.
Josh: What the fuck's a lemmo?
Vik: Ey. I'm tired, it's late.
Simon: Jesus is giving a dolphin a handjob for science. (JJ laughs hard)
- JJ drops a crazy white card for the black card "Jesus is _____." So much that Card Czar Tobi would not read it, forcing Simon to take over reading.
Vik: I don't think you need to go any further.
- "Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out _____.": One of the cards played was "The royal afterbirth." This confused JJ who didn't know what an afterbirth was, so he searched Google Images. Needless to say, his screaming afterwards proved that he regrets doing so.
- The white card "Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook." but not for the reasons you'd think. The Sidemen, being British young adults, do not know who this American talk show host is. Josh first plays the white card as answer to the black card, "Bob Ross's little-known first show was called 'The Joy of _____.'" JJ had to look up who he is, and even then none of them cared. JJ was about to choose the winning card when the round timed out on him. Again. After the Sidemen vent their frustration on JJ, Tobi gets to be the Card Czar for "Behind every powerful man is _____." Josh plays Glenn Beck again, causing Simon to say "Fuck that card," when Tobi reads it. Tobi picks that card out of pure spite. We then hear Tobi pounding on his desk laughing and the other Sidemen laughing along with him save for Simon. Then Tobi falls out of his chair afterward.
- When the cards for the above black card were shown, two Sidemen said "oh my God" in perfect unison.
- "Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become '______' Friday.": One of the cards played is "The basic suffering that pervades all of existence", which the Sidemen see as The Scrappy amongst the CAH cards. Of course, that's the card that wins.
- Tobi asking the question we all want answered: "What goes down on Fuck Mountain?" (If you see it as "what gives Fuck Mountain oral pleasure" rather than "what happens on Fuck Mountain",
bonus pointsshame on you.)
- Near the end, Simon's taking uncomfortably long as the Czar (not from trolling, but due to genuine uncertainty with what to choose), and everyone starts screaming at him, with JJ (of course) being the loudest voice. It's hilariously insane and insanely hilarious. As the timer reaches its last seconds, Simon just decides to not pick any.
- Here's another five-player session, this time with everyone but JJ and Harry:
Tobi: Someone's gonna go make it after this as well.
- "I have an idea even better than Kickstarter, and it's called _____starter.": Of the four white cards played, it doesn't get any better (or more perverted) than "Unsheathing my massive horse cock-starter".
- "As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?": Card Czar Tobi sees that Josh has played the appealing-to-Tobi card, "A drive-by shooting." However, Tobi says, "Well, Josh, my pimp hand is strong, so..." and picks "A bitch slap."
- "_____? There's an app for that." Card Czar Simon just sighs over the mostly weak selection of white cards played and chooses Ethan's "Stuffing my balls into a Sega Genesis and pressing the power button."
- For the black card, "What's the most emo?", Tobi tries using "A big black dick." Card Czar Vik, however, picks "Buying virtual clothes for a Sim family instead of real clothes for a real family," making Tobi's card a waste. It doesn't stop there, as when Josh gets the black card, "I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for _____," Ethan gets in his hand, "A bigger, blacker dick." Cue everyone's shock and laughter when Ethan's card shows up.
- Harry finally plays Cards Against Humanity for the first time, as he, JJ, Ethan, Vik, and Josh play with an extra-offensive card pack added in (and finally, especially for JJ, with the timer disabled). Video links: JJ, Ethan, Vik
- The first black card shows how deeply offensive the new card pack is with "The children sprung from bed and ran down the stairs to find _____ under the christmas tree". All four white cards are crazy enough, but the winner was Harry starting off strong with "A bondage slave in a diaper being spanked by a wire coat hanger saying, 'Ooh yeah, abort me daddy'." His card was so mental that Card Czar Vik couldn't even finish reading it.
- The second black card: "Aquaman's new nickname is _____." Card Czar Harry picks Ethan's "Islamic Militant Bukkake Kitten."
- The third black card has Card Czar JJ reading, "I can't help but to think about _____ when I cum." Again, all four white cards are, as quoted by JJ, "all fucking mad". The following four white cards are:
- White card one: "Fingerpainting in your mom's period blood." JJ dry heaves after reading this one.
- White card two: "Electrified nipple clamps in holiday colors."
- White card three: "All the GOOD things Hitler did."
- White card four: "Your ferret, excavating your girlfriend's cunt." After reading them all, JJ picks white card three, giving the point to Harry.
- Are you ready for the first six-Sideman game of CAH? Then enjoy everyone but Tobi bringing on more classic Sidemen CAH banter.
JJ: (speaking in a formal voice) Ah, excuse me, waiter, I see that the restaurant offers children in bondage gear. (The other Sidemen giggle; JJ corpses) Is that gluten-free?
- Starting off great on the first pick, "God, I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I traded Harrys [sic] little brother for Hardcore Asians."
- The second pick's even better; the first white card shown is so messed up that Vik says, "I'm not sure that [JJ] needs to read the rest."
Simon: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait, so you chose it, because your room is like a chamber of suspicious stains. (The other Sidemen laugh)
- Card Czar Harry picks another great selection of white cards for a single black card: "Nothing says 'true love' quite like _____."
- One of the white cards played to "Call the hottest sex-line in America. '1-900-_______' Don't wait." was doubly fitting, even though Card Czar Ethan didn't pick it. "Obesity."note
- For "Next from J. K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _____." Card Czar JJ picks Josh's "Suspicious stains." because that's up his corner. OK, then.
JJ (somewhat bashfully): No...
Harry: It genuinely is, JJ.
Josh: Oi, that's so true! Oh my God.
JJ: Move on!
- Here's an apt black card. "Why does JJ never record with the sidemen?"
- This four-Sidemen game of CAH featuring Josh, Simon, Vik, and JJ is further incorporating that new custom deck about them.
Josh: Yeah! You can win without words!
- Once again, the first black card is yet another good one. "Cookie Monster switched to cookies after a crippling addiction to _____." The first (and winning) white card is "JJ wanking into a jar of Nutella." Even funnier, JJ was the one who played that card.
- "_____, hot": The first white card is "Zingu." (Ethan), prompting Card Czar JJ to say, "Yep, that is far from true."
- "I used to be a _____ like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee": For whatever reason, they find a literal blank white card (all it says is "_____") the funniest.
Card Czar JJ: I snuck into the White House (cracking up) and I saw movies.
- "Now it's _____ time.": Two of the three white cards stand out (both Sidemen-focused; the other one was a clichéd "Clubbing a baby seal."):
- Card Czar Simon didn't even need to read this one: "The awkward moment when Tobi walks in and finds Miniminter fucking his Mother."
- Even the most boring white cards can work so well.
- Josh says this game between himself, Simon, Ethan, and Vik is the "FUNNIEST SESSION EVER". Seeing it, he could be right.
- The best moment in the session has to be twenty-three minutes in when Card Czar Simon adds something to the blank space. It was so funny that even Josh lost all composure.Simon: In his spare time, Vikk enjoys recreating 12 year olds in Minecraft.
Card Czar Vik: Sometimes, you get so bored you just want Vikk, when he becomes the only Minecraft YouTube[r] that HASN'T tried to touch a 12 year old.
- This is a Brick Joke to a white card played earlier in the video:
Ethan: Well, Vik have you tried to touch a 12 year old?
- The best moment in the session has to be twenty-three minutes in when Card Czar Simon adds something to the blank space. It was so funny that even Josh lost all composure.
- "SO MANY SIDEMEN CARDS", so little time...
- "I don't care what you say, there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, worse than _____." The third white card was "Well timed holocaust jokes." The white card after that? "Hitlers 'Vacation Camps'".
- This four-Sideman game featuring Calfreezy as a guest.
- In one of the Sidemen packs, there's a card that says "JJ attempting to say the words squirrel, rolls royce, waning and anthropologists." JJ tried his hand at reading them and failed miserably while his fellow Sidemen died from laughter in the background. To quote Simon, "Oh my God, stay in school, kids."
- Squirrel = squoll
- Rolls Royce = wolls woyce/rug roice
- Waning = wanin'
- Anthropologists = antropologists
- In one of the Sidemen packs, there's a card that says "JJ attempting to say the words squirrel, rolls royce, waning and anthropologists." JJ tried his hand at reading them and failed miserably while his fellow Sidemen died from laughter in the background. To quote Simon, "Oh my God, stay in school, kids."
- "BONUS ROUNDS" from Beh2inganote /"HOW TO GET MORE VIEWS ON YOUTUBE?!" from ZerkaaPlays;note featuring Ethan, Josh, Simon, and JJ:
- "The hottest person alive is ______." All three responses are cards pertinent to Seana.note Even better? The card chosen as the winner was played by JJ.
Simonnote : who are you
- Some random spectator named "wavy" joining the game, creeping the Sidemen out. The Sidemen then take to the comments and try to ask who the person is before telling them to leave (they eventually do).
Joshnote : hello wavy?
JJnote : who the fuck are you?
Simon: fuck off
JJ: YOU FUCKING DUMB FAM
Simon: LET'S DO THIS! LEEROOOOY JE—no. Tobi actually jizzled all over...JJ: LEEROOOOOOOOOY NNNJEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIINS!Ethan: Triggered.
- "My ______ brings all the boys to the yard." Simon puts a card with "Can you keep up, can you can you keep up. No i can't not fuck off you annoying cunt.", which sends the group into hysterics, mainly over the grammatically faulty "can't not" bit.
- There's a card referencing the famous Leeroy Jenkins video. Simon, as the Czar, attempts to say the iconic line but opts not to right when JJ shouts it into his mic so loudly that it clips.
- This game with Josh, Ethan, Tobi, Harry, Simon, and special guest Jme:
Jme: "Tobi drinking his mum's spit." NASTY! (Sidemen start laughing) OY, THAT'S DISGUSTING!
- The Incredibly Lame Pun of Vik's username: "TwentyViksteen".
- Jme picking "Callux" as his username.
- Jme's genuinely disgusted reaction to the "Tobi drinking his mum's spit" card on the "You know what I like more than knowledge?" black card.
Simon: Jamie, you know that happened.
Jme: Yeah, I know. I remember watching that video.
Tobi: Oy, fuck you!
Jme: Nasty! That is disgusting, bruv.
Ethan: Eh-NEE-muh? EH-ni-muh. (laughs)
- When a black card asks for a white card that would resemble one of JJ's tweets, we get two mental cards: "That's not my son." and "An Ethiopian steps on the scale. It reads 45 lbs. 'How did I gain this much weight?'"
- The first response Simon reads for "Vikk__123" is "9/11. Best. Day. Ever!", which sends everyone into hysterics. Simon picks it without a second thought, and it turns out that Vik himself played it, which makes everyone go apeshit more.
- When trying to determine the reason for Harry's not uploading more episodes of Road to Glory, someone plays a card about the people of Guernsey's habit for fucking goats. Even better is how the next card implies that Harry was too busy having sex with JJ's mom, and the card after that said that "Harry" was the reason.
- "Ethan, gping on Grindrnote for fun and actually finding his soulmate."
- Tobi pronouncing "enema" (EH-ni-muh) as "eh-NEE-muh".
Tobi: Allow it, allow it.
"Vikkstar123 and take out the 3 to become Vikkstar12, and seeing a 12 and Vikk likes 12 Year Olds not with double, but [triple] the childness. Illuminati Confirmed."
- A rather strange card that tries to prove that Vik is in the Illuminati that confuses everyone. It's the one that wins, of course.
- This game begins with JJ masturbating, apparently.JJ: I'm just touching my dick right now. Ah, fuck.
Josh: That was the intro, right? Yep, okay, cool.
JJ: Wait, what?
Josh: Go on. Go on.
- Vik gets absolutely destroyed in this game. (Video links: Simon, Ethan, Josh)
Vik: We're off to a great start.
- The first black card is "minecraft youtubers are_____". Vik is not pleased with it.
Vik: What the fuck?! What the fuck, no, do I need to exit? I think I might just abandon this video.
- Just to make things worse, that round saw JJ put down a card that says "child molestors"; in which he won. Remember, this is just the first round.
- The next round's black card is "Vikk _____ 123". Cue JJ winning again, this time the white card says "On a real, can everyone stop making fun of Vik? His autism starts acting up when he's upset." To the point Vik considering to rage quit.
Josh: It's acting up, again. It's acting up. Yeah, it's acting up.
JJ (at the same time as Josh): Yo, it's acting up. It's acting up. It's acting up.
(Everyone but Vik cracks up, someone pounds on his desk in laughter.)
JJ: Holy fucking shit. The levels, to touch a kid.
- The very next round saw another Vik-related black card. The other Sidemen, especially Simon and JJ went absolutely hysteric seeing it happened.
- Simon's first tenure as the Card Czar: "In my spare time, I like to Milfwall."
- This game saw Josh accidentally forgetting to check out the time limit. JJ's first two tenures as the Card Czar saw him doing his old thing, not making a choice as the timer runs out. The others are not pleased.
- To be fair, this is purely due to JJ not being able to speak certain words (thus, taking him too long to read all the white cards), rather than deliberately searching something on Google or deliberately not choosing a card.
- "What makes you beatiful?": JJ put down yet another mad card, this time it says "Vik telling mothers that their children expire after 12 years."
- During the "@ZerkaHD: _____." black card, three cards stands out: "Swallowing cum for the bants," "Every time Vikk makes a witty statement, God kills an orphan," and "The police finding Madeleine McCann in Vikk's cellar." By this point, JJ has taken a ridiculously large lead, as he has 7 points while the rest only had one point, with Josh still pointless.
- JJ's new book: I Am A Fuck off Josh.
- That round also saw another two mad cards about Vik: "Vikk having enough eyebrow hair to help a child with alopecia," and "Vik being sent off from England because he is an illegal immigrant from Syria." Simon's reaction towards those two cards says it all.
- The next round: What's fun until it gets weird? Calfuckoffjosh. Also, once the white cards are shown, Harry promptly says "Oh no!"
- The round in which the black card saying "Who's your sidepiece, Vik?" saw another new type of Vik card; this time, he is compared to football player Adam Johnson, who was fired from his team Sunderland because he was caught having underage relationships with teens.
- #VikFoundAKidAlert. Also the card before it, "Vikk disguising himself as a toddler's mattress to get laid."
Josh: And Jamie Vardy, of all people.
- "We are sorry to announce the splitting up of the Sidemen, due to getting raped by Heskey, Lukaku, Benteke, Akinfenwa, the Toure Brothers, and Jamie Vardy." Josh found the Vardy bit to be... a little weird.
Vik: I just pray no one has a card that says "child molesters".
- The round with "Vikk: the man, the myth, the _____." Harry, who was the Card Czar, complains that he had the perfect card for this; which turns out he has.
Harry: I have a card that says "12 year olds".
JJ: It's just non-stop! It's just non-stop!
- That round also saw JJ lampshading the fact that Vik-related card keeps appearing after one card says "Sunderland singing Vik because Adam Johnson is in jail."
Ethan: Fuck! Fuck!
- Josh's rather weird scream one he finally got a point after nearly 30 minutes into the video. In which he then score three more points in the next 8 minutes.
- JJ: Black kids against vikkmanity.
- The round afterwards, Harry correctly predicting there will be another Vik card being played by the Sidemen. (There were two, in fact.) And it's pretty mental too, since one card says "Vikk's 12 year old sex slave looking at Vikk's penis and thinking, 'Mine's bigger'," while the other says "A triangle love story between Plunjide, Vik, and ISIS militants."
- This simple but still hilarious moment:(Josh is the Czar on the black card "____ Das is gut".)
Vik: Read it in a German accent. Read the cards in a German accent.
(Sidemen erupt into laughter)
JJ: And he's SHUT DOWN!
Ethan: It's SHUT DOWN!
- Simon cracks a brutal joke against Vik as JJ questions their Periphery Demographic:
- The birth of the "likkes" meme, which has to be one of the funniest CAH moments out of them all. The cards played are all great, and Ethan laughing his trademark laugh each time Simon says "Vikk likkes" adds to the hilarity.
Ethan: That's why Simon hasn't done a car video!
- "Stay down EP, more coverage than Keep Up."
- "Simon once tweeting about Minecraft because he secretly has kids gasping for breath in his car."
- "Tobi dressing up as a pink power ranger and fingering a dogs red rocket until it cums piss." This card reduces everyone to hysterics, and Card Czar Simon can't even get through reading it because he's corpsing so hard.
- From Josh's THE NEXT CHARITY MATCH?!:
Ethan: What, is it underneath her vagina? Like, on the bottom?
- Ethan laughing at the "Josh's beard getting stuck in Freya's pussy beard while eating her out" card just on how he imagines what a "pussy beard" would look like.
Tobi: Just a goatee?
Ethan: Snitch! Snitches get stitches, bitch! Woo-woo! West siiide!
- When Tobi is talking about the "JJ's more black than Tobi" card Josh played on the first round, he asks if anyone else is gonna "snitch" him out on the second round, to which Ethan starts acting Pretty Fly for a White Guy.
- "Simon making the ball go further than JJ's music career."
- Tobi's African accent.
- Much like the "wavy" fiasco in a previous game, another random player called "elegy" joins the game for a good 40 seconds before anyone notices them. The Sidemen are immediately stunned that someone has accessed their password-protected game and start trying to find out who they are, not helped by the fact that they've become the Card Czar.Simon: Oh, wait a second.
Simon: WHO IS "ELEGY"?
("elegy" becomes Card Czar)
Simon: The person right now!
Ethan: Who-who's "elegy"?
Josh: Someone's joined.
Tobi: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK!
Simon and Ethan: It's someone in our Skype group.
Ethannote : WHO ARE YOU
- Then the guys start trying to talk to "elegy":
Ethan: WHO IS THIS
Tobinote : suck your mum
elegy: you should really pick a different password
Simon: Yo, this is painful.
- When the time comes for "elegy" to pick a card, the guys find out that this person doesn't know how to play. Simon and Tobi have to help them out while Josh and Ethan start an awkward Seinfeldian Conversation about their day to pass time. Eventually, they do leave.
- After some time of all the guys playing normally, another random player called Bob2 joins. The guys are immediately not receptive to it, knowing how much work went into getting to "elegy" to leave, and Simon and Ethan start asking him to leave in the chat, and he does (only to return as a spectator briefly). He's only there for 10 seconds.
- The Sidemen finding out about the "Sontaran aggrievedly cramming tennis balls in his ass" card.Ethan: Google that shit, 'cause I don't know. I just saw that he was doing an obscene act.
JJ: Oh... my God.
Ethan: What is it?
JJ: It looks like you, Ethan.
(Ethan presumably Googles Sontaran while Card Czar Vik breaks down laughing and picks the Sontaran card.)
Josh: He won because he looks like him.
Ethan: OH MY GOD, FUCK YOU JJ! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! Fuck you! Fuck you!
Vik (over Ethan's Cluster F-Bomb): What actually is it?
Ethan: This guy just said that I look...'oy, KSI.
Vik: What is the Sontaran? I didn't look it up.
Simon: Oh, it's in Doc—oh, it's Doctor Who, it's the people that look like potatoes.
(Vik laughs hard)
Ethan: A'ight, cool.
Simon: That is what Ethan looks like, apparently.