- "What did you do to my lesbian?" (Might require reading the previous strip for context, but the line's the funny part anyhow.)
- Burnsauce - Lynn Johnson's work condensed into a single comic.
- Mario points out the obvious.
- Robin's plan to get Ethan to have sex with Thad from Shortpacked!
- Mike's Your Mom joke failing.
- Any time Aslan shows up. Any. Time.
- Around Thanksgiving 2010 Willis had "a personal appeal from Shortpacked! creator, David Willis" with funny pictures of Willis (it was an ad to get people to buy Walkyverse stuff, making fun of Jimmy Wales' personal appeal). The Fazoli's Kid also made a personal appeal. Most people spent more time refreshing the page to see all the different pictures than they did reading the comic.
- Mike meets a guy who is
a huge assholeanti-social. The guy acts like he's awesome because of it and says "whatcha gonna do, really". Mike gives him an answer.
- Faz is a great source of these. His first is this:Faz: Contrary to what he claims, I have a graph here which shows a line clearly going up.Faz: At the moment, the likelihood is very low. But imagine if we increase the likelihood.
- They have gay BARS now?!
- Shinji. Knucks.
- Robin's...interesting analogy for coming out of the closet.Robin: You don't understand, do you? Comin' out is like when the Coyote walks off the cliff in the cartoons. You just keep walkin' on air until finally you look down and, BAM!, you realize yer gay!Ken: What's the Road Runner in this metaphor?Robin: COCKS!
- Ethan takes Drew to BotCon. The Osama bin Laden joke warms you up, and then you reach the actual punchline of the strip...
- This man's genitals are part of a very important business deal.
- Mike finally gets to honestly say "I fucked your mom"... to his own unborn child.
- Bruce Wayne is prescribed meds to help with his issues, hilarity ensues.Batman: "I ordered a pizza. Gonna hide by the porch and scare the shit out of the delivery guy."
- How'd you sleep, darling?
- "Help! Help! I'm being molested!"
- "You named her after a danged Ninja Turtle, didn't you?"
- "I'm Greg Killmaster!" "No, I'M Greg Killmaster!" "I'm THREE Greg Killmasters!"
- Although a lot of the Lucy/Malaya rivalry is just kinda sad, there are funny parts too.Lucy: You wouldn't hurt someone standing behind the historical Jesus, would you?Jesus: ...I get used for this way too much.
- "Hi I'm Daisy!"
- Robin shows Malaya just why Leslie might be so forgiving of her."bbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
- The conclusion to the robber storyline, complete with an... unusual cameo.Robber: IT WAS REAGAN, I TELL YOU! RONALD REAGAN BROKE MY LEGS!Galasso: I proffer naïve, dupable citizen, that it is time this country stopped blaming Reagan for all its problems.Ratchet: I hear ya, pal.
- A crowning moment of Insane Troll Logic, when Ethan tries to get rid of the Customer Protection Rackets.Faz: Contrary to what he claims, I have a graph here that shows a line clearly going up.Ethan: You don't even know what that line represents!!!.Galasso: It represents upness.Faz: The graph has spoken.
- "You know how freelancing is! You're never off the clock!" - Spoken by Megatron.
- The real reason Hurricane Sandy hit New York? God wanted Community back on TV.God: "It's October 19th when I fucking say it's October 19th, motherfuckers!"
- God's opinions on typefaces, the rat-lovin' Goths, and Green Arrow made pretty dang clear.God: There's not even any Chloe Sullivan. I don't even know what you're doing.
- Any time Leslie is near a baby for too long.
- Sydney's team consists of a few people and a robot. Galasso's consists of:Galasso: ...a ninja, a speedster, a superhero and a lesbian.Leslie: I have other attributes.
- Ken's reaction to learning about the NSA's spying is pure terror. Why? Well...NSA man: This one sure likes singing Let It Go off-key to himself over and over 'till someone comes home.
- After Shortpacked! officially ended, Willis added a comic once a year on April Fools Day. Usually. However, in 2019 he found a concept so funny he couldn't wait till the next April Fools Day: the thing Ethan loves that he must sacrifice to get a Soul Stone is a Dinobot.Red Skull: You cannot love a toy!
Ethan: Yeah? Try me.
Funny / Shortpacked!