- When Watson returns to Baker Street and opens the door to Holmes' room, he finds himself in the middle of a lush jungle. Complete with wildlife.Watson: Your hedge needs trimming.
- Then, he doesn't even bother trying to find Holmes and just sits to casually read the paper and does his best to ignore the fact that Holmes is continually shooting him with blowdarts.
- And when Holmes reveals where he is and what he's wearing.
- "I'm not going out with you dressed like that."
- When Sherlock gets a signature from Moriarty and implies that things such as a genius-level intellect can be deduced from their handwriting, the professor looks torn between calling him out on his BS or accepting another stroke for his ego.
- Holmes kills the dog. Again. Don't worry, he gets better.
- "How many times are you going to kill my dog?!"
- When Holmes and Watson leave Baker Street:Sherlock Holmes: Watson, might I suggest we use an alternative exit?Dr. John Watson: Is there something different about you? [Holmes turns towards the camera, revealing that he is wearing a large false beard]Sherlock Holmes: I'm under observation.Dr. John Watson: As you should be.
- Watson attempting to shake Mycroft's hand, only to be met with a very blunt "No."
- The lively fight music during Holmes and Simza's fight with the Cossack. Particularly the moment where Holmes crashes through a wall and knocks all of Watson's winnings to the floor, then gets up and runs off. Watson looks around and realizes that he's surrounded by hungry gamblers:Watson: ...Now wait a minute. [Everyone immediately lunges forward trying to get whatever loose money they can get]
- Watson drunkenly stumbling in after Holmes finished the Cossack angrily wondering where he was during his fight that cost him his winnings.Watson: NOT GOING TO GET MY MONIES!!!
- The immediate turn in Watson's mood when Mycroft reminds them they have a wedding to go to and that he's having Carruthers fuel up the car.Watson: Oh, I'll drive!
[Carruthers vocalizes uneasy disapproval]
Watson: [Snickers, pantomiming the horn] Honk honk! [Cackles]
- Sherlock Holmes in drag. That is all. In fact, the entire train sequence where he bickers and wrestles with Watson, either in drag or half naked.
- This exchange.Sherlock Holmes: Lie down with me, Watson.
Dr. John Watson: WHY?
Sherlock Holmes: I insist.
[Despite John's protestations, Sherlock is successful at pulling John to the ground]
- This exchange.
- Sherlock lifting his skirt to reveal a stolen grenade strapped to his groin with the pull-chain stolen from a toilet.
- "IT WAS BY DESIGN."
- The Oh, Crap! moment when that one Redcoat is shot in the shoulder by Watson, and he accidentally drops a primed grenade he has already pulled the pin out of into his satchel of grenades.
- After Watson rescues Holmes from Moriarty with the aid of a very large cannon blowing up the watch tower, he's looking through the resulting rubble for Holmes:Sherlock Holmes: Take your time.
- And a little while later, during the shootout, as the fleeing gypsies are going through the train yard:Dr. Watson: Holmes, how did you know I'd find you?Sherlock Holmes: You didn't find me, you collapsed a building on me!
- And just prior to all this, Moran's reaction when Watson takes off the canvas, to reveal to Moran that there is a large cannon aimed directly at his position.Sebastian Moran: [looks up from his scope] That's not fair!
- And even before that, we have Watson's brief Oh, Crap! moment when he tests to see if Moran is still there with his hat - needless to say, he is.
- And a little while later, during the shootout, as the fleeing gypsies are going through the train yard:
- After Watson revives Holmes with the serum Holmes gave him as a wedding present, Holmes is a bit, well, frantic:Sherlock Holmes: Watson! I had a dream. You, me, Mary, and Gladstone were there, eating dinner, and that satanic pony as well — a massive fork in his hoof, and he turned on me!Dr. Watson: You need to lie down.Sherlock Holmes: What have you administered?Dr. Watson: Your wedding present.Dr. Watson (very pointedly): Me.Sherlock Holmes: Why is my ankle so itchy?Dr. Watson: Because there's a large piece of wood sticking out of it. (Watson hands Holmes alcohol) Drink this. I need to get that out before it turns septic.Sherlock Holmes: (chugs) Did you call me "selfish bastard"?Dr. Watson: Probably.
Sherlock Holmes: Ohhh, you are a... you are some sort of...Dr. Watson: Be nice.
- Seconds later, after ripping the shard out, despite Holmes' entreaties to leave it alone...
- Sherlock finds Mycroft's "private and personal supply of oxygen", and only asks what it is because the effect is invigorating. From a Doylist perspective, this sets up his survival after the trip down the falls. From a Watsonian perspective, on the other hand, this means that Sherlock Holmes found a strange device he did not recognize and inhaled from it before asking what it was.
- The little "Be careful what you fish for" cartoon that Holmes gives to Moriarty, as well as the shit eating grin Moriarty wears as he visibly struggles to refrain from just throttling Holmes.
- The very last scene in A Game of Shadows is a twofold moment of hilarity; one, for Holmes' excellent reveal of himself, and two, the audience's reaction to seeing him in camouflage is priceless.
- Mycroft + nudity + Mary = you know what.
- Mycroft introducing himself to Mary as "the other Holmes" after she had just been pushed off a moving train into a river by the first one. She reacts with horror that "there's two of you?!"
- Mycroft's Spy Speak: "two nations which shall remain nameless... but I can tell you they speak French and German."
- Funnier if you are familiar enough with European languages to realize that aside from the obvious, this description could also allude to Belgium and Switzerland. Or just Belgium or Switzerland, since neither country is particularly monolingual.
- This gem:Sherlock Holmes: In my own defense [to throwing Mary off the train], I timed it perfectly! [Watson attacks him]John Watson: DID YOU KILL MY WIFE?! DID YOU JUST KILL MY NEW WIFE????!?!!!!!?Sherlock Holmes: Of course not!John Watson: What do you mean? How do you know that when you just threw her off a train?!Sherlock Holmes: I told you, I timed it perfectly!
- The best part of that is the implication that Holmes has killed his old wife.
- "You know what happens when you dance!"
- The dancing, while Holmes downs a bottle of hooch.
- Holmes asks Watson to dance with him at the ball. Watson doesn't even blink an eye at this and immediately takes his hand. It's so they can spy on the other guests, but still.Watson: I thought you'd never ask.
- The humor is amplified by the fact not only doesn't Watson blink an eye, neither does anyone else despite this being 1891.
- Except for one old fellow behind them, whose facial expression is absolutely priceless.
- The awesome moment after Watson's winnings at the party get knocked to the ground and every person in the vicinity eyes them before diving madly to grab what they can.
- Two words: Hungover Watson.
- Especially the look on his face at the first bagpipe notes...
- And his little tug of war with Holmes trying to take his coat-blanket.
- When Holmes is trying to tidy him up, he accidentally rips off one of his coat sleeves.
- And at the wedding, he's managed to get cleaned up. Holmes, however, apparently didn't even bother.
- When Holmes, Watson, Simza and the gypsies are on their way to Germany:Madame Simza Heron: [showing Holmes and Watson their horses, to Watson] The black one is yours. The grey one is mine. [to Holmes] And this is for you. [Holmes looks uncertain]Sherlock Holmes: Ah, hm, right! Where are the wagons?Madame Simza Heron: The wagon is too slow. Cant you ride? [Simza turns to Watson, who grimaces, hesitant]Dr. John Watson: Its not that he cant ride. How is it you put it, Holmes?Sherlock Holmes: They're dangerous at both ends and crafty in the middle. Why would I want anything with a mind of its own bobbing about between my legs? Then I should require a bicycle, thank you very much! Its 1891! Could have chartered a balloon! [He stalks off; Watson turns to Simza]Dr. John Watson: How can we make this more manageable?[Cuts to the group travelling on horses through the woods past the camera as Ennio Morricone's theme from "Two Mules for Sister Sara" plays in the background. A few seconds later, Holmes rides by, strutting on a little pony!]Sherlock Holmes: Where's the fire?
- Even better: he still manages to get ahead of everyone else by the end of the trip.
- Actually, ponies are more well-suited to traversing rugged, mountainous terrain (which is the kind they are going through) than horses, due partially to their lower center of gravity.
- Of course, it still went much slower. The real reason Holmes ended up ahead? He couldn't get the pony to stop!
- The horses slowing down, and one stumbling on a small cliff, then Holmes hailing them from atop the cliff where his pony has not slowed down.
- After Holmes is revived by the adrenaline shot, the very first thing he reveals is that he had a nightmare about the pony.
- Even better: he still manages to get ahead of everyone else by the end of the trip.
- Holmes fighting the Cossack:Madame Simza Heron: Time is up. I have other clients. [Holmes gets up and starts to leave, but suddenly goes over to Simza and whispers in her ear]Sherlock Holmes: Though you may not have detected the wisp of astrachan fur snagged on a nail over my left shoulder. You couldn't have failed to notice the overpowering aroma of herring pickled in vodka, in tandem with a truly unfortunate body odor. There's a man concealed in the rafters above us: a Cossack - renowned for their infeasible acrobatic abilities, and are notorious for moonlighting as assassins. So it's safe to presume that your next client is here to kill you. [smiles] Anything else? [Simza does not answer, thinking about Holmes' implication] No? [Holmes starts to leave, but suddenly turns around and pulls out an umbrella]Sherlock Holmes: [voice-over; in slow-motion] First, pillage the nest. [He hooks the umbrella handle around the Cossack's knee and pulls on it, causing him to fall out of his hiding place] Clip wings. [Holmes strikes the assassin a blow with the umbrella that knocks a throwing knife out of his hand and twists it] Now, blunt his beak. [delivers hammer blows to each side of the face, then ducks to avoid a return blow] Crack eggs. [delivers a kick to the groin; the assassin pulls out a knife] Scramble. [Holmes knocks the knife aside] Pinch of salt. [jabs the umbrella into the chest, then deflects another oncoming knife] Touch of pepper. [jabs the assassin with the umbrella tip] Flip the omelet. [performs a judo throw that causes the assassin to flip over him and land on his back] Additional seasoning required. [The assassin tries to stand up but Holmes strikes him across the face, knocking him down] Breakfast is served.[Back in real time, Holmes starts to play out the disarming moves he's envisioned, but just as he gets to "clip wings", Simza throws knives that lodge themselves in the Cossack's chest; he falls backwards through the curtain while Holmes looks at her with a face of "Okay, didn't expect that."]Sherlock Holmes: Come with me. I need you alive. Now! [They leave the room just as the Cossack's eyes open, revealing that he is wearing protective lining]
- On the way to catch a train, in the presence of Holmes (who is disguised as a porter), Moriarty asks Moran if he has time to "indulge his little habit." Moran says "yes". The scene immediately cuts to Moriarty feeding pigeons.
- Moriarty's lecture tour is also one of these if you've read the stories. In The Valley of Fear, Holmes notes that Dynamics of An Asteroid "ascends to such rarefied heights of pure mathematics that it is said there is no man in the scientific press capable of criticizing it." So those crowds of people lining up at the book signing in Paris to tell Moriarty how good his book was and get his autograph? They don't understand a word of it. They're just trying to look smart!
- And Moriarty is presumably aware of this, since when Holmes requests his autograph he wryly asks "Have you actually read the book?"
- Moriarty's extended metaphor involving Schubert's The Trout is absolutely hilarious if you know the fourth stanza, which turns the entire scene from a cat-and-mouse-game torture metaphor into a Masochism Tango Yandere flirting metaphor.
- The moment Moriarty realises that Holmes managed to swap his notebook, full of clues related to his criminal empire, and replaced it with another notebook in which Holmes drew a shark eating a fisherman.
- Especially because if you look hard enough, the shark is smoking a pipe making it clear who's eating whom.
- The conclusion to Holmes and Moriarty's inevitable final conflict is improbably funny. Holmes grabs Moriarty, Watson walks in and the three of them freeze for a split second — then Holmes and Moriarty tip neatly over the balcony into the Falls. It's a macabre version of Holmes' trademark pratfall/escapes.
- At an auction, Holmes needs to defuse a motion-sensitive bomb for Dr. Hoffmanstahl, so he gets up and says: "One million pounds! (Everyone gasps in horror and looks at him; his pipe causes a tapestry behind him to burst into flames) Oh and, uh, by the way, Fire...FIRE!"
- Holmes' note to Watson to get him to save him:
- "Come at once if convenient. If inconvenient, come all the same."
- Straight from the books!
- Anything involving Stanley is hilarious.
- "Where are you going, Stanley?"
- Watson's line when he discovers that Mycroft is going to be at his stag party. In fact, not only is he the only guest at the party, Mycroft's not even there for that to begin with.Watson (Wearing a VERY strained smile): So...glad you invited your brother.
- "How dare you be rude to this woman who invited us into her tent! Offered us her hedgehog!"
Funny / Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows