Funny / She Is The One

Kayla Saga

Jessica Saga

Tara Saga

Twins Saga

• The Hannigans trolling Jack as he picks Kayla up for Valentines Day.
  • As Jack knocks on the door in sharp suit:
    Mr. Hannigan: Who the hell are you?
    Jack: Jack... Harrison?
    Mr. Hannigan: What? With the fancy get-up? No way. Jack Harrison wears—
    Mrs. Hannigan: Aaaaaand one uninspired comedy routine later... You look very nice, Jack.
  • As they're getting ready to leave, Mr. Hannigan gets gruffly insistent about the Her Boyfriend's Jacket trope.
    Jack: (to Kayla) Got a coat?
    Mr. Hannigan: Yes she does (hands her Jack's coat, which he'd been holding)
    Mrs. Hannigan: That's his job.
    Mr. Hannigan: Oh, right. (hands Jack his coat) Now offer it to her.
  • And Kayla's a Hannigan, as she proves at their dinner, thinking of ordering the Lobster Scampi appetizer:
    Jack: Do you actually want it or are you trying to push the whole 'not spend too much' thing as far as it can go?
    Kayla: (to the waitress) Sorry about him. He’s kind of a smartass.
    Jack: Oh, I'm the smartass?
    Kayla: And there he just admitted it.
    (waitress tries desperately to remain professional)
• Discussing meeting Amanda's new boyfriend:
  Kayla: I'll let you know if he's a douche. Don't worry.
  Jack: Oh? How you gonna do that? Built-in Douche Sensor?
  Kayla: Of course!
  Jack: Where was that when Craig tried dating you?
  Kayla: Hey, it only took me two days to realize he was an asshole. New town. Had to reset it.

Summer Saga

• As the gang hangs out at Craig's place to make use of his pool, Joe is being his usual boorish self, mind fixated on swimming and grilling. Kayla asks Jack (with a side of bedroom eyes) to help put sunscreen on, naturally Jack agrees. Then Belle asks if Jack will help her too, "in the same voice with the same eyes." Joe finally picks up that something is happening he should pay attention to, so Jack agrees just to mess with him. Belle loudly thanks Jack for his "offer to rub sunscreen all over me." Joe actually snorts like a bull about to charge, before asking if he can please help her. Belle tells Jack she's sorry she won't require his services, but Joe did say "please."
• Jack's first day working with Rhona, and he's very thrown by her ability to deduce things about him he hasn't told her, like him being a theater kid. Then she tells him to offer some customers "assistance" instead of "help" because it sounds better, and he doesn't see the point because he'd already offered "help" to these specific customers earlier.
  Rhona: Don’t underestimate the inability to retain information. Not everyone’s got killer memorization skills like you.
  Jack: Okay, how the Hell did you know that one?
  Rhona: Guessed. Either I was right and awesome or I was wrong and you forgot a few seconds later that I was. Hop to, Mr. Jack.
• Stuck in traffic on the way up to the cabin, Kayla and Tara are on their phones but cagey about who they're texting. As traffic lessens, Jack notes that they seem to be texting each other.
  Jack: Mouths are quicker than fingers.
  Tara: Dirty?
  Jack: No. Although... no. I mean, it’d be quicker to have your little chat by talking to each other instead of texting.
  Kayla and Tara: We’re not not texting.
• Kalya yet again clobbers Jack at Super Smash Bros. Tara walks by and asks how badly Jack is losing.
  "The word 'massacre' comes to mind," Kayla replied as her Link spun me off the platform so hard, I flew into the next generation of consoles. Laugh, damn it. I’ve been wanting to use that one for a while.
• Yet more of the Rhona And Jack show:
  Jack: Where’d ‘Rhona’ come from?
  Rhona: Rhona come from parents. Rhona’s parents make lovey time and then Rhona come.
  Jack: (jaw muscle twitching) I meant the name, genius.
  Rhona: Name come from parents, too. Parents make many good-goods.
  Jack: (twitch moving eyelid) You’re not going to win.
  Rhona: All I need is the other eye and a vein in your forehead and I have.
  Jack: Where did they get the name Rhona from? Say, 'From their brains' and I’m fucking done.
  Rhona: (pouting) Poop.

Maturing Saga

• Jack and Kayla talking about getting back together and how they were apart, Jack suggests they write a book, since they clearly now have this relationship thing figured out. Kayla dares Jack to suggest naming it "What is love?" He naturally replies, in the most pleading tone of voice, "Baby... don't hurt me." Jack himself notes it's so awful it wrapped back around to being hilarious.
• Drunk Jack, thinking about being drunk on Jack Daniels, and how Daniels is Rhona’s last name, thinks he should text her to check in. He types a message, then in the morning sees what he actually sent;
  intent Hey, Rhona! Youre awesome! Youre gonna be an amazing mom! Hope youre all good and the babys all good and youre good! Talk to me soon!
  actual Hy dhobna! Yieoe awweosmem! Ye ginga be an amisnign mimm hopep oueoie all goioid and thieoi babies goido adnfim aoiyou goodoi! Talkj toi meoi soioinn!
  Rhona: Uh what the fuck dude?
• Vanessa invites Jack and Kayla to an art exhibit where she's showing one of her student photos. The Missus and the Ex awkwardness is mostly absent... until they come to the topic of Jack and Kayla moving in together next year. Jack babbles a bit, but thankfully Kayla is there to help him shut up. After Vanessa takes her leave of them:
  Kayla: Give me your foot.
  Jack: Need to shove it in my mouth?
  Kayla: Well, it's no fun if you say it first.

Blessings Saga

• Jack and Kayla... well, just being Jack and Kayla.
  Kayla: You already told me I'm an angel. (making a face) Do guys think that's a great compliment?
  Jack: Is it not?
  Kayla: Enh. Feels like something a kid would use as a compliment. Because angels are supposed to be from God and... I dunno, maybe that's just me, but I haven't thought of angels seriously since I was, like, seven. So if you say I'm an angel, it's better if you're just trying to be funny.
  Jack: What if I called you an angel in the streets, a demon in the sheets?
  Kayla: See? That's something I can appreciate. By the way, I think I was supposed to remind you to spank me.
  Jack: I'll take care of that sweet, angelic ass later.
  Kayla: (covering face) Oh, God!
  Jack: Yeah, I'll make sure you say that, too. But hey, God! Works for an angel.
  Kayla: You are so good at making me regret bringing up certain topics.
  Jack: I'm adaptable, baby. You wanna start talking about Linux? We can start talking about Linux. I'm all about open-sourced development and proper coding techniques.
  Kayla: And this is what I'm getting for seductive talk. If you write a book about this someday, can you please make sure to point out that I am so not into this?

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