- The entirety of the scene where Jackie pulls his team out of the game. It all starts with Father Pat accusing Jackie of traveling.Pat: *refereeing* Traveling!Jackie: No, no, no, no! One and a half step!Pat: C'mon, Jackie, you walked.Jackie: SUCK MY COCK! I'LL MURDER YOUR FAMILY!Pat: *blows whistle again* You're gone, Jackie Moon!Jackie: What did I say?!Pat: You said S my C!Jackie: *grabs the ball from Pat and punts it into the stands*Dick Pepperfield: ...And one lucky fan will go home with the game ball.Jackie: That's your head next time.Pat: You're a big baby, Jackie.Dick Pepperfield: Jackie Moon and the referee really going at it here.Jackie: I didn't say anything!Pat: You said S my C!Jackie: I barely raised my voice!Pat: I should call your mother!Jackie: You'll need a phone to Heaven to do that!Pat: Maybe your mom didn't go to Heaven.*dismayed murmuring from the announcers*Dick Pepperfield: And it appears a line has been crossed...by Father Pat, of all people.
- SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY!
- The poker game. Cornelius calls Lou a jive turkey, which Jackie tries to walk back... by insisting that Cornelius called Lou a cocksucker instead. Things only escalate from there.
- "I wish you were still a washing machine!"
- "Have you ever been punched in the jejunum?"
- Jackie's corn dog promotion, especially considering that he's well aware he doesn't even have corn dogs.Jackie: Goddamn it, Vakidis! Learn fucking English!Pat: Corn dogs, Jackie! Corn dogs for all these people!
Funny / Semi-Pro