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  • The entirety of the scene where Jackie pulls his team out of the game. It all starts with Father Pat accusing Jackie of traveling.
    Pat: *refereeing* Traveling!
    Jackie: No, no, no, no! One and a half step!
    Pat: C'mon, Jackie, you walked.
    Jackie: SUCK MY COCK! I'LL MURDER YOUR FAMILY!
    Pat: *blows whistle again* You're gone, Jackie Moon!
    Jackie: What did I say?!
    Pat: You said S my C!
    Jackie: *grabs the ball from Pat and punts it into the stands*
    Dick Pepperfield: ...And one lucky fan will go home with the game ball.
    Jackie: That's your head next time.
    Pat: You're a big baby, Jackie.
    Dick Pepperfield: Jackie Moon and the referee really going at it here.
    Jackie: I didn't say anything!
    Pat: You said S my C!
    Jackie: I barely raised my voice!
    Pat: I should call your mother!
    Jackie: You'll need a phone to Heaven to do that!
    Pat: Maybe your mom didn't go to Heaven.
    *dismayed murmuring from the announcers*
    Dick Pepperfield: And it appears a line has been crossed...by Father Pat, of all people.
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  • SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY!
  • The poker game. Cornelius calls Lou a jive turkey, which Jackie tries to walk back... by insisting that Cornelius called Lou a cocksucker instead. Things only escalate from there.
  • "I wish you were still a washing machine!"
    • "Have you ever been punched in the jejunum?"
  • Jackie's corn dog promotion, especially considering that he's well aware he doesn't even have corn dogs.
    Jackie: Goddamn it, Vakidis! Learn fucking English!
    Pat: Corn dogs, Jackie! Corn dogs for all these people!
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