- In chapter 37, one of the Army of the Dead nods politely to Thorin when he steps aside to let it pass. The sheer randomness of the moment makes it hilarious.
- Imrahil's reaction to Pippin calling Aragorn "Strider".Imrahil: Strider? Is this how we speak to our Kings?Éomer: You should have been there at our first greeting.
- Gimli breaks the news about hearing Thorin and co.Gimli: [to Aragorn] I hear the voices of the Dead.[...]Thorin: He is Glóin's son: his axe is subtler than he is, true enough. Blunt and honest, that's his way.Dáin: Blunt! Thorin, I'm blunt, and I still manage a feint or two. Gimli is a verbal battering ram!
- Dáin calling Sauron "His Monocular Nibs".
Dáin: No doubt His Monocular Nibs is busy rubbing his eye in disbelief.Óin: Singularly shocked at the sight, I'll wager.Dáin: Aye, he probably can't believe his eye.Óin: Blinking in amazement... or possibly winking.Dáin: Aye, aye.Óin: No, there's just the one.
- The hurricane of eye-related puns in chapter 40.
- Radagast asks Thranduil to send food to Dale and Erebor.Radagast: They're going to need something to eat after all those bloody Orcs have been at their crops. Calling them locusts would be an insult to locusts everywhere.Laindawar: You cannot be serious.Radagast: I'm perfectly serious. I've known some splendid locusts.
- Gimrís, Thranduil and Laindawar discussing Gimli. After general complaining about his love for Legolas, Gimrís starts complaining about his hair.Gimrís: I despair of his hair, I truly do, it's so aggravating!All three nodded in sympathy. Then in unison they all sobered and straightened, their eyes darting at each other as though daring someone to comment.
- When Durin VII is born, "[t]he THUD! of Dáin and Bombur both fainting clean away was surely audible even in the living world."
- Thranduil asks Gimizh to tell them about Gimli and quickly regrets it.
Funny / Sansūkh