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  • From "The Vulcan Hello":
    • Chuck finding Saru quite the scaredy-cat:
      Chuck: Saru thinks [going out in a spacesuit] is suicidally risky, but he thinks the same of crossing a street with a flashing "Don't Walk" sign and ordering a pizza with a credit card over the Internet.
    • The crew of the Shenzhou notes how the Federation hasn't heard from the Klingon in about a century:
      Chuck: I suppose without Archer running around provoking them, things were finally able to calm down.
  • From "Battle at the Binary Stars":
    • "Previously on Discovery, there was no sign of the Discovery. Now back to the story."
    • Chuck notes that Burnham was able to talk her way out of the brig to avoid death, while Jake in "Valiant" was nearly killed because the brig wouldn't release him even though the ship was falling apart. He concludes that, since Sisko designed the Defiant-class, the brig must be programmed to only release prisoners in the event Sisko wants to punch them.
    • When Captain Georgiou bites it during her scuffle with T'Kuvma, Chuck brings up the Star Trek franchise's less than stellar track record regarding the lifespan of female captains.
      Chuck: I like Georgiou... but I should probably have seen that coming. Female starship captains, they have a mortality rate that would shock a Red Shirt. Hell, Janeway had her own show, and she was still killed, like, a dozen times on that series.
  • From "Context is for Kings":
    • Chuck addresses the identity politics issue of Burnham being a black woman because otherwise he'd have to make "Saru is a cow" jokes for the whole episode. He repeats that joke twice at random points.
    • Chuck marvels at how Discovery has brought characters from all walks of life together... as assholes.
    • Chuck expects a good explanation for Burnham being the unheard-of foster daughter of Sarek, because not getting one would be as ridiculous as Starfleet blowing up the only other prototype of their advanced drive system. Cut to that happening. Then he jokes about making a pet out of the monster. Another cut.
      Chuck: That's it. That's it, I'm done.
  • From "The Butcher's Knife Cares Not for the Lamb's Cry":
    • Chuck compares Saru's threat ganglia to an unwanted boner, only difference is everyone can see it and know that you're a scaredy cat.
    • Relating to the contents of Captain Lorca's quarters:
      Chuck: Lorca's room here is filled with incredibly dangerous things: weapons, skeletons, a Samsung phone, nothing is too dangerous to consider in his pursuit of the perfect tools to win this war.
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    • Chuck muses that duct tape can do anything, even attach the head back onto the Klingons' ship.
  • From "Choose Your Pain":
    • Archer's name comes up on the list of most decorated captains.
      Chuck: (singing) One of these things is not like the others. Which one is different, do you know?
      • Chuck later reasons that Archer probably demanded that his boy scout badges were to be counted in as official Starfleet awards.
    • If you've seen the rest of Discovery, this line:
      Chuck: But it is still pretty damn cold-blooded to leave a civilian, even one that's betrayed them, to the Klingons. You'd think two Starfleet Officers would have higher ideals than that.
    • His response to the Wham Shot at the end of the episode. "We've got nothing to worry about....except the demons."
  • From "Lethe":
    • Tilly is training for the officers program by jogging down the halls with Burnham. Chuck immediately draws another conclusion.
      Chuck: She has to get into the officers program. And that is the only reason why we're watching her jog. Yes, sir, because we wanna support Titty—uh, Tilly.
  • From "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad":
    • After seeing how Stamets acted with Michael and Ash, Chuck reminds him "You're supposed to work with the magic mushrooms, Stamets, not eat them."
    • When Harry Mudd shows up:
      Chuck: That's right, Jonah is back! And he's a cyborg out for revenge! Actually, I'd watch that movie.
    • When the Spore Drive is overloaded and destroys the ship, Chuck notes that Stamets just put himself in the unfavorable company of Neelix by destroying the ship with food.
    • While commenting on how Mudd shooting everyone in cold blood seems as out of place as, say, Mr. Burns suddenly snapping someone's neck, the screen cuts to black at the sound of a neck breaking, followed by a body hitting the floor, and an especially evil "Excellent."
  • From "Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum":
    • Chuck speculating on how L'Rell would torture Cornwell by building some IKEA furniture and reading the instructions out loud.
  • From "Into the Forest I Go":
    • Chuck muses that he didn't think that the Star Trek franchise would take his humorous quip that Memory Alpha should step up its game in its article about breasts as a challenge.
  • From "Despite Yourself":
    • Chuck tells us to not assume that "Despite Yourself" was not a last minute change from "Go Fuck Yourself".
  • From "The Wolf Inside":
    • Chuck is greatly annoyed when Tilly suggest using the fungi of the spore drive in the treatment of Stamets, as she claims that fungus is "the only organism with the biological aptitude to link life and death":
      Chuck: What a crock of shit. "Mushrooms are the new crystals," huh? It's like New Age philosophy for people who think that New Age philosophy is too grounded in hard science for them. Someone did manage to go find a scientist, who said "Mmm-well, in a sense. It's true that fungi consume the dead, and so you could say they are a link." But then that reasoning means that, say, vultures are also a link between death and life. Which means the only qualifier goes away. And if it didn't go away, I don't think they're helping Stamets by eating his brain, do you? Eating his brain is probably the worst medical treatment you could give him! Who is the science consultant on this show?! And why are they so certain that the multiverse works by fungi, huh? What are they going to say next? That you can tap into the power of The Matrix by using your yeast infection?
    • The review then ends with a montage of various scientific inaccuracies in the Star Trek franchise with Sam Cooke's "What A Wonderful World" playing over it. ("Don't know much about...")
  • From "Vaulting Ambition":
    • After the big reveal of Lorca's origins, Chuck cuts to Chakotay mocking the Discovery crew for missing all the obvious signs, while oblivious to Janeway nervously laughing along.
  • From "What's Past is Prologue":
    • Chuck once again thoroughly slams the whole Spore Drive idea:
      Lorca is presented as delusional, because he believes in destiny... In a world that insists that all life and the forces of life are connected to fungus. This is like saying that organised religion is backwards and hopeless, because you know that God is a guy named "Kim", who works at the Chinese laundry. "I will wash their robes and make them white." "I know you will, man! I know it!"
    • The reason why Saru doesn't sense the coming of death is "Because I am getting the hell off this ship. Good luck with the mission, dipsticks!"
    • His frustration with Michael's insistence on rescuing the Emperor, a planet destroying, torturing, racist despot... because she looks like Michael's old mentor.
      Still, at least we brought along a totalitarian psychopath! And yes I am belaboring that point, because I feel you kinda have to when you just rescued Emperor Palpatine! Actually, scratch that, Palpatine did a lot of things, but I don't think he actually ate anybody!
  • From "The War Without, The War Within":
    • The entire conversation about imposters:
      Sarek: (after having mind-melded with Saru) Don't worry, Admiral. There are no imposters here.
      Saru: Of course not! Don't be ridiculous! ...Oh, except for the Klingon double agent that was actually our security chief.
      Vice-Admiral Cornwell: What?!
      Michael: Yes... But don't worry, it was just the one.
      Sarek: We should head to the brig and question him.
      Saru: Uhm, I've kind of let him, uh... have a little space. Kind of an "honor system" thing.
      Vice-Admiral Cornwell: Idiot! Who knows if there is any more imposters onboard?!
      Saru: Well, there aren't any! ...Oh, uh, except Philippa Georgiou. We've picked her up in the universe where everyone is evil. And also; she likes to eat people.
      Vice-Admiral Cornwell: What the—?! Fine, fine! Let's go to the brig, and I'll question her then.
      Saru: Uhm, actually, she is not in the—
      Sarek: How is it that someone who can't stop talking about how he can "sense the coming of death" has done so much to invite it?
      Vice-Admiral Cornwell: This "Georgiou"... You didn't get involved in the internal matters of another culture brining her here, right?
      Saru: Well...
      Vice-Admiral Cornwell: I guess this means you've violated the Prime Detective?
      Michael: I-it was my idea to save the Emperor from assassins—
      Vice-Admiral Cornwell: Assassins?! Emperor!?! Why the hell didn't Captain Lorca stop you!?
      Saru: Oh... Yeah... Sorry! Uh, we forgot. He was an imposter too...
      Michael: But he was one since before he took command, so, I don't really think that should count.
      Saru: Yeah! And he was gone anyway! A-after figuring out how to defeat the Klingon cloak, he returned to his evil universe. We've been running things since then.
      Sarek: ...So this ship was running more smoothly when you had an evil imposter in charge?
      Saru: Uhm... Well...
      Vice-Admiral Cornwell: This is the first time when finding we have an extra war-ship means we're less likely to win the war! Lets head to the conference room, and try not to fuck up on the universe on our way there!
    • This series carries on the tradition of making the Saratoga Starfleet's bitch.
  • From "Will You Take My Hand?":
    • Chuck's reaction to seeing the Enterprise NCC-1701:
      Chuck: Well twist my nips and call me a Romulan.


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