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Live-Action Movies

    The Dark Knight 
  • Chuck's backspacing about Harvey Dent's burnt face in The Dark Knight.
  • Playing "You Got the Touch" when the Batmobile transforms into a Bat-Pod.
  • His blaming a car crash on Deanna Troi...twice.
  • "The Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away..." —it did and he did!
  • "The Batpod. So called because.......the Batpod."
  • Chuck mentions the Joker's Multiple-Choice Past, and gives his own idea for an origin story: on Superfriends, Batman was trying to come up with cooler examples of his villains to impress Superman, and unfortunately let Aquaman come up with the idea of a psychotic killer clown, meaning Batman himself had to create the Joker.
    • The gist of which was Batman setting out to screw with a random clown until he turned evil.
  • After The Joker does his thing with a pencil:
    "That was really good. Do you do birthday parties?"
  • Chuck's remarks on Batman's (successful) plan to retrieve Lau.
    "And that's why, of all the descriptive names, of all the things people say when they see a hero in action, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk, The Invincible Iron Man, the only descriptive word for our hero is 'The Goddamn Batman'!"
  • Chuck's very first line in the episode.
    The Dark Knight. Christopher Nolan. Oscar performance for Heath Ledger. Versus me. On No-Pants Thursday. This will not be easy.
  • This little gem of Black Comedy from his summation of the scene between Harvey and the Mayor.
    Chuck: Is he [Harvey] into anything damaging? Heroin, incest, gambling... [cue the dead Batman copycat] Auto-erotic asphyxiation...
  • Chuck's own take on Joker's scars: "You know how they say you can't eat anything bigger than your head? Well, you can, if you wanna work for it..."
  • Chuck snarking about Harvey's decision to have himself arrested in place of Batman, commenting on how recognizable his Lantern Jaw of Justice is and dubbing it "the Harvey Dent".

    Night of the Comet 
  • The moment when Robert Beltran gets dressed as Santa.
    "Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho! I'm Chakotay, doncha know? I'm dressed like this cause I'm Janeway's bitch. Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho!"

    The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 
  • Quite a few moments to be found in the review of The Two Towers, among them the shot of the massive supply of potatoes that the refugees are loading into Helms Deep, accompanied by Sam reciting "PO-TA-TOES!"
    • The numerous jokes as how badly abused Gollum ends up — at the hands of the heroes:
      "At least our spine broke our fall, precious..."
    • Chuck claiming that if Elmo were real, he'd look like Gollum.
    • The caption of Théoden on the battlements of Helms Deep, as it starts to rain: "This isn't rain, it's God pissing on me."
    • The annoyed rant at Treebeard's refusal to get involved in the war, even though the villains are guaranteed to chop down the Ents' forests for fuel and industrial development if they win- and they've already started doing both. Why is this funny? First of all, Chuck calls Treebeard "Spinach-Chin." Secondly, exasperated at how long the debate is taking...
      Man, going into Afghanistan didn't take this long. Getting out of Afghanistan won't take this long!
    • Haldir's death:
      "Blood? Blood on my beautiful armour? You sava— (Uruk-hai slices him across the back) ...urg. And you've got brain on my hair... Uncouth...
    • "Somehow, and I've no idea how, but it seems that Gollum has become bitter over the ordeal shown over the four hours of this film.
    • Comparing Gollum's torture at the hands of the heroes to Grover being interrogated by the Gestapo.
  • Chuck is thoroughly unimpressed by Gandalf's supposed wizardliness and constantly makes jokes about how all Gandalf does is use his staff like a flashlight.
    Chuck: (After seeing Gandalf pull out his sword) "Hey wait wait wait, who gave Moses a sword? I've played enough played enough RPGs to know a wizard doesn't get a sword!"
    • He makes the same point about Saruman, including pointing out that he should have easily been able to repulse the Ent attack when the only direct spell he ever uses is a fireball in the next movie. Especially since he's surrounded by mountains; he has lots of red mana!

    Blade Runner 
  • The obligatory Battlestar Galactica reference in the Blade Runner review:
    Chief: I've got four skin jobs walking the streets.
    Chuck: And if there's one thing Gaff hates, it's Cylons.
    • "Oh Rarity, you're my naughty little pony, aren't you?"
      • Even more Hilarious in Hindsight when the next episodenote  that aired after this video went up was Rarity-centric.
  • Chuck choosing to play a clip of two kittens fighting instead of the actual scene from the movie when he discusses Batty killing Tyrell, and then when he says Tyrell is dead, he adds "But don't tell the kittens!"
  • During the shot of Deckard at the piano, the narration has him drunkenly trying to play the Indiana Jones theme.
  • Batty and Leon having a talk after Batty's phone call:
    Chuck!Leon Who'd you call?
    Chuck!Batty: Your mom.
    Chuck!Batty: You shot the guy!
    Chuck!Leon: Only 'cause I was mad at him!

    Back To The Future 
  • Talking about the experiment Doc has roused Marty for in the middle of the night:
    Which involves strapping a dog into a remote-controlled full-sized vehicle. In other words, typical day at Mythbusters

    And something's on fire, so definitely a typical day at Mythbusters.
    • When Doc insists Marty stand next to him in front of a speeding De Lorean, Chuck notes that, had Doc been wrong about the car time traveling, it would've resulted in a very weird case of vehicular manslaughter.
  • Noting that Principle Strickland looks like "The Hill Valley Odo."
    Now to check on Quark, that slacker.
    • When Marty returns to 1985, Chuck claims that the helicopter flying overhead is being piloted by Strickland in his never-ending vigilance of slackers.


    Howard The Duck 
  • His story of how he had to review Howard the Duck: he received an envelope with no return address, containing a wad of money and the cryptic message "Review Howard the Duck." Chuck described it as being blackmailed, but in reverse.
    • Also doubling as a Take That!, the song used as the theme for the review is "Loser" by Beck.
    • At the end, Chuck learns Marvel wants to release a 25th anniversary edition Blu-Ray of this movie.
      Chuck: Who the hell is actually so opposed to all that is good in this world, that they would go out of their way to support such utterly awful story-telling and this unfathomably bad writing to ever be inflicted upon this world again? Who was so soulless that would want to do that!
      Joe Quesada: Hi, I'm Joe Quesada, Chief Creative Officer here at Marvel Entertainment. *cue the Imperial March*
    • "It looks like you're trying to destroy the human race! Would you like help? Seriously, I hate those assholes! All I do is try to help them and they tell me to piss off every time! Rain fire upon them!"
    • Commenting on how Beverly would discuss her life with anyone she met in an alley, "I've never met a real black guy before. Do you know Fat Albert?"
    • Beverly tells Howard that he sold out. "Well, he's in this movie, isn't he?"
    • "And now we divy up the cheque, but only a 5% tip, because I'm so evil (Evil Laugh)".
    • After watching Howard freak out at a plate of eggs and ask if they think he's a cannibal, there's just something magical about how exhausted Chuck sounds:
      Chuck: ...It's a chicken egg, you fucking idiot.
    • "Is my irritation for the movie showing through? I bet it is."
    • The Running Gag of George Lucas trying to sell Pixar to Steve Jobs in the Howard the Duck review.

    The Day After 
  • From The Day After
    • "The military usually assists the entertainment industry, as thanks for helping fake the moon landing."
    • Making Steve Gutenberg's character his personal Butt-Monkey every chance he gets. Hey, you have to take joke opportunities where you can get them in this movie!
      • Especially when Steve is getting a physical, and the doctor lowers his glasses in a perfect "Are you fucking kidding me?" manner.
    • When one of the characters realize that since, it's tomorrow, in a movie called The Day After, that it's now The Day After Tomorrow. 'Someone hold me before I get killed by slowly approaching radiation cloud, or something else stupid.'

    The Matrix 
  • From The Matrix
    • "So, Al Gore gets humanity to embrace solar power and combat climate change...only for them to be forever imprisoned in the very internet which he invented!"
      Morpheus: Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.
    • When Cypher talks about regretting not taking the blue pill, Chuck points out that if he doesn't like serving on the front lines, then Zion has to be better. Cue the massive rave from The Matrix Reloaded.
    • The inevitable jabs at Keanu Reeves' Dull Surprise acting. "Wut?"
      • One thing he says is that if Reeves is ever recognized by the Academy Awards and has one of those montages showing the highlights of his career, it could be summed up by one word: "...whoa!"
    • The Red Pill scene:
      Neo: Do you have a green pill?
      Morpheus: No. You must choose: Blue or red.
      Neo: Orange?
      Morpheus: Let me explain the pills again.
      Neo: Yellow?
      Morpheus: Listen, you take-
      Neo: Can I take both?
      Morpheus: No.
      Neo: Uh... orange then.
      Morpheus: Here's the orange one.
      Neo: That looks red.
      Morpheus: Uh, that's the Matrix trying to trick you, now swallow the damn thing!


    The Thing (1982) 
  • From The Thing (1982) review Chuck proposes a scenario where the Palmer-Thing and the Norris-Thing are so fooled by the other's imitation they try to assimilate each other.
    • His speculation that Palmer-Thing purposefully ratted out Norris-Thing's detached head, leading to the mental image of Norris-Thing's aforementioned head shaking a tiny fist, screaming 'Bastard!'
    • Chuck waxing poetic about his fondness for Antarctica and icy wastelands in general, then attributing that to the fact that he lives in Wisconsin. Later he expresses the desire to one day fulfill his dream of visiting Antarctica . . . to punch a penguin in the face.
      • Even better, you can actually hear him punching his open palm right before bringing up said penguin-punchings.
    • The Running Gag about Willford "perpetually elderly man" Brimley's love of cock fights:
      • When first introduced, Chuck brings up his activism in favor of cock fighting:
        Chuck: That was in favor of cock fighting, not against it. Nothing to do with the movie, just not everyday you hear about an elderly oatmeal spokesperson talking about traveling to watch cock fights.
      • Later, when The Thing is spraying some dogs (presumably because they'd been getting up on the couch), Chuck assures us that no animals were harmed in the making of this film... although several roosters were injured under suspicious circumstances in Wilford Brimley's hotel room...
      • Finally, when Blair's spaceship is found:
        Chuck: Please enjoy this mental image of Wilford Brimley flying his tiny UFO to bomb the Kellogg's people, and then round out the day with a trip to the cock fights, cause it's the right thing to do.
    • Describing the pilot of the UFO in the opening scene as 'Yet another successful graduate of the Troi School of Driving'.

    Battlefield Earth 
  • From Battlefield Earth, Johnny's saying "Yes we can! YES WE CAN!" leads to, you guessed it!, "YES! WE! CAN! YES! WE! CAN!"
    • His proof that IMDB's entry requirements are incredibly low? His cameo on Atop the Fourth Wall was enough to get him a page. Seriously.
    • The Disaster Dominoes of a man trying to pull out of his driveway, which is akin to what a fascinating trainwreck the film is.
    • "The planes will be in perfect working order because, of course, Army officers like to hear fshrrr when they open the doors."

    Flash Gordon 

  • Gojira
    • "Wow, that's a lot of Japanese schoolgirls. Statistically speaking, at least three of them have to have magical powers. Also, one is a robot."
    • "Ogata has to blow off his date with Amiko, to see what happened to the ship, the Iko Maru, and then they send in the Bingo Maru to investigate, but it inexplicably vanishes as well, and the Kobayashi Maru has drifted into the Neutral Zone, so it's not going to be any help."
    • Calling Dr. Serizawa "Dr. Cyclops".
    • Amiko's father is so despondent over Godzilla, that he completely ignores Ogata's increasingly lewd description of him and Amiko's affair, and only gets mad when Ogata agrees that Godzilla needs to be destroyed.
      Ogata: We're having sex! Making whoopie? Sharing the same bed? We did the Takawaki Tango, the kimono bone-o, the Yamaha-ha-ha! Are you following me? I Hiro-hit that! She played with my Pokeballs, I plucked her cherry blossom, she oiled my katana, I test drove her Toyota and, oh, what a feeling! I ate her sushi and her tongue visited my land of the rising fun! Do you understand?!
      Yamani: ...Tell me, do you agree that Godzilla should be killed?
      Ogata: What? Well, if it's that or pounding Tokyo into the ground, yeah.
    • During Godzilla's attack on Japan, when some cops ask for further instructions, Chuck recommends not looking tasty, flammable, or both.
    • When Yamani places the age of the dinosaurs as within thousands of years, he claims to have a clip of that bygone era. Cue The Flintstones.
      Yamani: As you can see, it's a page right out of history.

    It, the Terror from Beyond Space 
  • It! The Terror from Beyond Space
    • Chuck's incredulousness when more and more weapons are revealed to be on board the "exploration" spaceship, including a freaking bazooka (this actually makes him do a Double Take). Also the Running Gag regarding the actor playing the monster being The Alcoholic (which he was - a major factor on the movie being a Troubled Production).
      • Special mention goes to the first appearance of grenades, which - as Chuck points out - is a very bad thing to have on a spaceship.
      Chuck: So, what next? [cue shot of grenade box] What the hell are you doing with grenades on a rocket?! Guns are dangerous enough, but you brought something whose only function is to make explosions on a thing where explosions are generally a bad idea! No wonder the other rocket has a hole in the side of it you could fit a 747 in! But lucky thing they're here for Operation: IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?! Because they string up grenades to the hatches for when the creature comes out. And I'm not talking like one or two - they put up enough there to make a freakin' lei out of them!
    • The use of the siren wail-like Previews Pulse for both Alien and Prometheus for the "On the Next" trailers for this video.
    • When Caruthers is shown a skull of one of his crew mates with a bullet in it, he is told "there's only one monster that kills with bullets". Cue the Spider Mastermind from Doom.

  • Transformers:
    • The "battle to end all battles" montage, featuring - among many others - a man boxing a kangaroo, a bear kicking a man in the stomach, nuns engaging in karate, and Peter fighting the chicken. Oh, and it's all scored to Two Steps from Hell.
    • "It's got it all: big, loud, 'splosions, slo-mo, military toy porn, little guy standing up to the government, minorities as comic relief, and none of these are exactly a problem. Except the last one, obviously."
    • Introducing Megan Fox's character brings our reviewer up short:
      Chuck: Wait, Mikaela Banes? Did Michael Bay decide to put a Rule 63 of himself as the cheesecake in this movie? 'Coz that's just fucking weird.

    Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen 
  • Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen:
    • Chuck goes into an anecdote about how when he was a kid he raised money to get a Megatron toy, only for it to be too little with taxes accounted for. He had to settle for Skids, a two-episode character who got turned into a Decepticon throne. He then learns that Skids is in the movie, and gives a Rousing Speech about how he will finally get some dignity....only for him to turn out to be one of the Ethnic Scrappies.
      ...Fuck you, Illinois Department of Revenue. Fuck you so damn much.
    • Proclaiming that the film's message of "men do the thinking, women are just there to look pretty" has to be unintended, because the alternative is to state that something - anything - in Transformers II was thought out.
    • Chuck making fun of this bizarre throwaway gag:
      Sam: There's a friend of mine, he just went to, uh, he went to get you a tighter shirt.
      Frat Guy: There is no tighter shirt. We checked.
      Chuck: I can't argue with that, that shirt even has its own wiki page.

  • Moontrap:
    • As the film starts, Walter Koenig's character is conversing with NASA.
      Hey, Chuck. . . what's the weather like today?
      Chuck: Huh? It's, uh. . . it's partly cloudy with a chance of you getting the fuck on with it.
    • His riff on the famous Kennedy speech as Grant prepares to be the first person to have sex in space:
      In a JFK impression: We choose to bone on the moon! Not because we are easy, but because we are hard!
    • Whalers on the Moon... but that's to be expected from a movie not only with moon in the title, but set on the moon as well.

    The Terminator 
  • The Terminator:
    • When the Terminator is procuring weapons in the gun shop:
      Shop Owner: Anything else?
      Terminator: Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range.
      Shop Owner: Hey, just what you see, pal.
      Chuck: Yeah, you still can't get those. THANKS, OBAMA.
    • A Chuck created exchange between the title character and Sarah Connor at the end of the film:
      Sarah Connor Geez, what will it take to kill you?
      Terminator I've been thinking the same thing about you, lady!

    RoboCop (1987) 
  • RoboCop (1987):
    • The obligatory joke with Kurtwood Smith: one of Boddicker's crimes is calling the cops "dumbasses."
    • When Dick Jones is chewing out Bob Morton for screwing over him and the ED-209 project.
      Dick Jones: I had a guaranteed military sale with ED-209! Renovation program! Spare parts for 25 years! Who cares if it worked or not?
      Chuck: It says "Made in Detroit" on it, for God's sake! No one would expect it to work!
    • Robo goes to his old house and finds that it's already for sale, accompanied by an automated realtor on a television.
      Realtor: Hey, have you thought it over? Why not make me an offer?
      (Robo punches the TV screen)
      Chuck as Realtor: (in pain) Did I mention the swimming pool?
    • When describing the difficulty of wearing the Robocop suit during the Texan summer (during which the movie was filmed, and it was so hot that Peter Weller actually lost several pounds in merely a couple of weeks):
      Chuck: This is, I believe, a legal form of execution in that state.

    Dune (miniseries) 
  • In his review of the Dune miniseries, Chani's nudity is censored with a image of a woman holding a sign reading "I think we can all agree boobs are awesome!"

    Star Wars 
  • In his review of A New Hope he comments about Darth Vader's underling being the bravest man in the galaxy, talking to a giant, super strong, dark enforcer with magical powers like he was a coworker who got caught stealing office supplies.
    • Also, Darth Vader's introduction, where he laments that his stormtroopers have already killed the rebels when he wanted to do "the cool thing again." He then has a need to strangle someone in frustration.
      Darth Vader: Now I shall unleash the full might of WHAT THE HELL!? THESE GUYS ARE ALL DEAD!
  • Grand Moff Tarkin shooting down suggestions to make the Death Star more livable.
    Grand Moff Tarkin: We don't care about the environment! The whole point of this place is to ruin the environment! On purpose!
    • Tarkin also makes it perfectly clear what he thinks of the suggestions.
      Grand Moff Tarkin: We are not interested in your space condo ideas! Forget about your peacenik green energy crap and get on with it!

    The Empire Strikes Back 
  • Chuck goes on a rant about what he considers the most needless and egregious change in the Special Edition version.
    Lucas decides, for reasons know only to himself, that Vader's remark "Bring my shuttle" is not enough explanation of how he could get from Cloud City to the Executor, and thus has Vader say "Alert my Star Destroyer to prepare for my arrival", and then begins a number of shots to establish that Vader did indeed get on his shuttle, and did indeed return to the Star Destroyer, and did indeed walk off the shuttle, instead of trusting that the audience would figure out that if someone calls for a taxi and then is seen at their destination, this person is probably not a wizard with teleporting magic. This not only interrupts the flow of the scene, but the long line does not allow James Earl Jones to instill it with the emotion that the brief "Bring my shuttle" contained; you could hear the Dark Lord's simmering anger over Luke's rejection. And what kind of preparations are even necessary for "your arrival"? I mean, you didn't tell them to prepare to leave the system, pursue the Millennium Falcon, open fire on Cloud City, you know, the kind of things they should be ready to do the moment you get there, no, just: "prepare for my arrival". What?! Are you expecting a cake and a stripper to be there? Do you want a fucking marching band on hand to play you your favorite song up to the bridge because you're depressed about what happened?!
  • When Vader arrives back on his destroyer, Piett is there... with his nervous nephew.
    Piett: Right, hope you don't mind, sir, but I've brought my nephew here to work today.
    Nephew: (silted) Hello, sir, or madam. What a lovely home. I am collecting for Imperial Scouts—
    Piett: (annoyed) I told you; not at my office! (to Vader) Sorry, sir.
    Darth Vader: Please. If only my own son was as well behaved as this pitiable creature.
    Piett: Didn't go well, my lord?
    Darth Vader: No! You were right, I should have gone with "Son, I'm your dad." That personal touch would have... Uhm...
    Piett: Connected?
    Darth Vader: "Connected"! Exactly! Hopefully I can still fix things... Once you've dragged his stunned and unconscious body onboard, I can help my son learn.
    Nephew: (still silted) Imperial Scouts give young boys a chance to learn many useful—
    Piett: That's it! That's it! OUT!
  • Playing Jerry Lee Lewis' version of "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On" after Han blasts the floor of the asteroid cave that turns out to be the inside of a giant space slug.
  • "Yoda explains that the Dark Side springs from anger, fear, and aggression, the stuff you usually find in most internet comments sections."

    Dark City 
  • His joke about the child Stranger:
    Oh, and look, it's Take Your Child to Work Day for the sinister minions of all that is dark! 'And after this, we shall suck the souls of kittens, and then get some ice cream!'
  • "But it's time to meet our gumshoe, detective, the hard-boiled man on the streets who knows there's a hundred tales in Sin City. *clip of Bumstead playing the accordion* And the biggest sin of all is not to polka! Strike up the music, the band has begun..."
  • Chuck's commentary on Murdoch discovering his tuning abilities:
    Chuck: And there's his wallet - great! He just needs some money to open the slot. Just have to get some from the wa- Doh! All right, this is a problem, huh. Maybe I can open it with my psychic powers- [Cue clip of Murdoch doing that] Son of a-! Maybe my buxom chauffeur will come in to tell me she's here with my Rolls Royce! [beat] Well, it was worth a shot.

  • When the Brutals start shooting their guns up to the sky.
    Zardoz: I've changed my mind. The gun is not always good. And the jury is still out on the penis.
  • Chuck's creative methods for censoring the film's nudity. And the fact that, at least once, he has to just give up and blank the whole screen, because the scene in question was impossible to render Safe For Work in any other way. He takes the time to explain that the black screen isn't a video glitch, it's the only way he can talk about what's currently happening in the film.

    Jurassic Park 
  • Red Review:
    • The reveal that the reason there are two Chucks, and thus two reviews, isn't because he cloned himself. No, it was the more rational and common incident of a cyborg colliding with him and splitting him into two beings.
    • Red Chuck decides to cap off a serious analysis and discussion with himself - by showing a clip from Caveman depicting Ringo Starr rubbing a T-Rex's balls.
    • When Lex and Tim show up, Alan is obviously irritated.
      Chuck (as Alan): That tears it. Kids, velociraptors - I'm leaving this planet. I'll... go off somewhere on a spaceship to be far, far away from children.
      Chuck!Picard: [sigh] Don't count on it...
    • A scene of Malcom flirting with Ellie leads Red!Chuck into a bizzare segue about dinosaur erotica.
    • Once the T-Rex breaks down the fence, Alan has some "advice" for Malcom:
      Alan: Keep absolutely still. Its vision is based on movement.
      Malcom: [earlier in the movie, staring at the pile of Triceratops dung] That is one big pile of shit.
    • Red Chuck admits to feeling bummed about Nedry's death.
      Red Chuck: Yes, he is the villain, all of this is his fault, but I can't help it, it's Wayne Knight. I don't want to see Wayne Knight killed. It's like someone stabbing a toy Cookie Monster — technically, there's nothing wrong with it, but it still just feels wrong.
    • When Nedry complains about his programming project being underfunded, Hammond chastises him for wanting to spend money on frivolous things, and without skipping a beat, he declares he has to go write out a check to James Earl Jones for narrating the Jurassic Park bathrooms. This later comes into play when a panicked Gennaro tries to hide a guest bathroom:
      Chuck (as James Earl Jones): Welcome. I am James Earl Jones. As you enjoy our state-of-the-art lavatories facilities, please, join me in a trip... to the Mesozoic Era. The Age of Reptiles. ("Circle of Life" starts playing)
    • Hammond trying to get Grant to visit another park he made, this one underwater and filled with cloned megalodons... only to admit that with this one, he spared all the expenses, to the point that the narration is done by an Elvis Impersonator he owed money.

    The Lost World: Jurassic Park 
  • Chuck opens the review with the story of how he saw the movie on opening day sitting next to two incredibly annoying kids, thinking "that sucked, those kids ruined the movie for me" - only to later see the movie on home video and realize that the kids had nothing to do with it.
    • In a somewhat Black Comedy sense, following it up with a warning that anyone who likes the film, doesn't deal well with people being angry, or can't stand salty language should turn the review off right there, since he'd already given his opinion.
  • Stating that the film "suffers from schizophrenia" because of the two Steven Speilberg's at the helm: the young Steven Speilberg who knows what excites him and thus what will excite his audience, and the older socially-conscious Steven Speilberg who wants his films to have positive messages, and thus the villains end up being more exciting than the heroes. Chuck digresses a bit to talk about Roland Tembo's gun (a 600 Nitro Express double-barreled rifle) and its symbolism, then notes there were two working models of it made for the film, guess who took one of them home with him?
    Chuck: His initials are SS. (*Beat*, then quietly) Ugh, and Hitler on a fucking unicycle, no, I did not just compare the guy who made Schindler's List to Nazis.
  • Chuck's rant at the "anti-Darwinism" on display in the movie.
    Chuck: How a film series can talk so much about evolution while failing so badly at showing natural selection is beyond me. All I know is they have a new slogan: it's not "life finds a way", it's "stupidity finds a way".
  • Chuck notes that some people attempted to correct him on pointing out how Ian Malcolm died in the first book, yet was brough back to life by Crichton to appear in the sequel, by claiming that Malcolm didn't die at all. Chuck rebukes this, saying that Malcolm was definitely most sincerely dead by the end of the first book, and him returning alive in the second was just a retcon by Crichton, pointing to a passage from the book that has the other characters lament how they don't have the opportunity to give Malcolm a proper funeral after he has succumbed to his injuries. Chuck dryly observers that Malcolm's character might have been somewhat insufferable in the book, but certainly not to a degree where it would make other people want to bury him alive simply to shut him up.
  • Chuck's numerous rants about the two running themes of the film — "Idiocy" and "Contrivance".
  • Chuck topping one such rant off by getting up, walking away from his mic and demanding in exasperation to know if the film's over, checking the runtime to find out he's maybe a quarter of the way through at best, exclaiming "Sonuvabitch!", then sitting back down to continue. He spends the next couple minutes delivering his commentary in the angriest, most sarcastic snark ever.
  • Partly as a break for his own sanity, Chuck digresses to talk about the overall nature of The Lost World and why it bothers him, concluding with stating that he doesn't even want to finish watching the film at this point, and would actually rather just watch Jurassic Park III. He then compares the films to strippers: JPIII is a stripper who comes out and takes her top off because she knows the audience only wants to see the boobs. The Lost World is a stripper who comes out topless. . . then starts ranting about how Canada is a fascist police state. Even if The Lost World has better boobs than JPIII, some people may not like Lost World because the nonsense being said is too distracting.
    Chuck: Sorry if the example offends, it's just that when I think of Nick and Sarah together, a pair of boobs is what immediately springs to mind.

    Shin Godzilla 
  • An attempt at research for the review came crashing to a halt because the top Google auto finish for search terms starting with "Japanese French" was "toast," and Chuck just could not go on without learning more about Japanese French Toast.
  • Which segues into him comparing Japan to an eccentric and sometimes creepy roommate, who you still love living with for those times they bust out into Crazy Is Cool. In the case of Shin Godzilla, coming up with a plan so crazy they named it after a guy who gets drunk with a dragon, the US decides this is just too awesome not to be a part of.

Animated Movies

  • You know how Chuck, whenever he reviews a movie, uses a song at the start which reflects the movie in question? ...WALL•E got "I Like To Move It".
    • All his jokes about what Wall-E's 700 year task of cleaning up the endless vistas of garbage that made up the surface of Earth was like.
    • Chuck mentions how Wall-E must be thinking Eve has some jerk boyfriend back home who doesn't appreciate her. Who does he use as the image? HK-47.
      Declaration: Today I shall jack your rear port and then you shall make me a sandwich.
    • Describing EVE's curves...with math!
    • John Cusack holding up WALL-E.
  • Referring to Wall-E's cockroach buddy as the Highlander of cockroaches because of everything it bounces back from.

    Rebuild of Evangelion 
  • His description of Gendo in his review of Rebuild of Evangelion 1.11. That and the delivery make it perfect.
    General: It's in your hands now evil Abe Lincoln clone.
    • To those who know the spoilers for Evangelion, "Let's really, really hope that Shinji and Rei aren't brother and sister." To those who don't know, Rei is a clone of his mother.
      • His total confusion about the series (since he was asked not to read up on it) made the whole review hilarious.
      • Just giving up when he sees Ramiel, calling it something out of a Lucky Charms box...then when he sees the Creepy Cool Crosses detonation of its laser:
        Chuck Hark the herald angels siing, Sorry Shinji, pain I bring!
  • From his Rebuild of Evangelion 2.22 review:
    What in the fuck of fuck was that?
    • Also:
      "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball."
    • And this:
      Misato: Can you repeat that?
      Chuck: I said FORE!
    • His observation of how cleanly an angel bites off an Eva from its legs turns into a hilarious Epileptic Tree.
      They're creating the Eva as a false god. Thus, it's a replacement for God. Jesus is God. The Eucharist is Jesus's body. Therefore, Evas are made of wafers! It's so obvious in retrospect!
    • After yet another scene of Rei without clothes.
      Would you stop showing me naked little girls, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
    • Followed by comparing Rei's emotionless monologue about eating and cooking to a PBS show.
    • "Let's christen the hell out of this! Launch all wine bottles!"
    • Chuck referring to all the characters as different types of crazy, as well as referencing Sonic and Mario, and briefly turning Pen-Pen into General Patton.
    • His horrified reaction to the shot of Misato and Penpen in bed together.
      • He then refers to Misato as "Colonel Penguin-fucker".
    • Responding to Misato's use of "Women's intuition" with an epic Face Palm.
      • "At least make it interesting. 'I felt a whisper in my vagina.'" *Western music*
    • "Oh my God, the Eva's pregnant?"
    • His comment that Shinji would still be the most normal character even if he jerked off over his mother's empty grave is funny to all those who remember "That" scene from The End of Evangelion.
    • It's the Second Impact, Charlie Brown.
  • And the fun continues in Rebuild of Evangelion 3.33.

    All Star Superman 

    Summer Wars 

    Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Movie Rebellion 
  • "That said, I have seen this movie five times, which means only one more before I have to have brain surgery to get the Cake Song out of my head."
  • His summary of the Cake Song scene.
    Chuck: Yep, the nightmare has been defeated and all thanks to a combination of magic, vore and rap battle.
  • Chuck's proposed alternate title for the film? "Madoka Magica 3: So, [Homura's] the Asshole".
  • You wanted it, you hoped for it, you got it! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this review features the triumphant return of "Bunny-cat's a dick."!
  • When Chuck does a rundown of the cast, he gives the various characters made up weaknesses. Kyubey's weakness? He's a registered sex offender.
  • Mami's weaknesses? She's a death magnet and has lower-back pain.
  • When Nagisa says the reason why she came back was so she could eat cheese again, Chuck is shocked that magical girl heaven would lack such a thing.
    Chuck: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute, if there is no cheese in paradise then by definition it is not paradise. Madoka, you are a crappy god unless you fix that.
  • The return of the Pros and Cons with Adolf Hitler stinger, wherein Hitler announces that though he likes the film, he hates its characterization of his favorite character, Homura, and believes Fegelein was behind ruining it.

    The Iron Giant 

    Titan A.E. 
  • When Earth is destroyed.
    Chuck: Ha! And they made fun of us for making a colony on the moon! Well, who's laughing no- Oh shit!
    (The moon gets pulverized by debris)
  • Cale is constantly being put-down by his non-human coworkers, being forced to wait behind everyone else.
    "In space, no one can hear you file a workplace discrimination lawsuit."
  • At the end of the review, he notes that, if nothing else, at least this film is in no way similar to a Disney film. Cue A Whole New World being played over New Earth/Planet Bob's formation.

    Atlantis: The Lost Empire 
  • Preston Whitmore shows how they'll travel in style.
    Milo: Wonderful models, sir.
    Whitmore: What's a model? Better get on board before I set sail without you!
  • When they meet the Atlanteans and they begin speaking every modern language.
    Milo: Their language must be based on a root dialect.
    Chuck (as Morbo): LANGUAGE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!
  • Chuck names Milo the biggest dork he's ever seen, and claims he's in the wrong Disney movie. Cue a montage of Milo's many screw-ups set to "I'll Make a Man out of You".
  • When the crew are revealed to be evil, Chuck is shocked that Mole of all people has a machine gun.

    Watership Down 
  • Chuck telling the rabbits' creation story as only he can.
    Chuck: So Frith was like "Oh, it is on, now!", and zapped all the other animals, making them different. And a lot of them got upgrades, like claws and sharp teeth, and then were told to stop eating grass and start eating rabbits. That'll teach ya to flip off God!
  • Woundwort is such a badass, Chuck theorizes that he's the rabbit who attacked Jimmy Carter.
    • When he has the balls to charge a freaking dog, Chuck's opinion of Woundwort goes from 'guy who claims he can punch a bullet out of the air' to 'guy who insists you shoot him in the face so he can catch a bullet with his teeth'.

    Into the Spider-Verse 
  • He wryly comments that Uncle Aaron's flirting techniques would probably get him maced.
  • He also has a very specific "hypothetical" story about a Cool Uncle bringing his nephew along to sell weed and then leaving him holding the bag as a learning experience. He then admits that his own uncle was never so weird...he just had Chuck throw firecrackers at the cars of people he didn't like.
  • The most unrealistic thing in a movie with superheroes, alternate dimensions, and Talking Animals? A construction project actually being completed in New York City.

TV Series

  • The jabs at Crichton and co's bad luck throughout the Farscape reviews:
    • In "Premiere":
      So let's see; in less than ten minutes, you've been captured, spat on, strangled and tongue-lashed by Zoidberg's badass cousin... and now you have an Arch-Enemy. Wonder what the rest of the day will bring, huh, Crichton? If you're lucky, maybe just an anal probe.
      (Crichton has just woke up naked in a holding cell) Face it, Crichton, life just hates you.(A helmeted figure is found sitting at the back of the cell) Better watch it, Crichton; the way your luck's going, it's probably got a spider for a head and shrieks bagpipe music before it sucks out your juices.
      (The figure removes the helmet) Holy crap, you're locked in a cell with Claudia Black! See, Crichton? It's the cosmos maintaining balance — and they were even good enough to already take your clothes off! Things are finally looking up for- (She begins kicking the crap out of Crichton) ... Okay. Guess I'm off the mark, unless that pose is a more awkward way of approaching sex.
    • In "Nerve":
      The only way that this could possibly be screwed up is horribly bad luck. Unfortunately, if you watch this show, you'll probably know that horribly bad luck happens for the Moya crew nine times out of ten. Tenth time, it's even worse.
      (Describing Scorpius) ...the most disciplined and calculating mind in the Uncharted Territories, on a first-name basis with pain, and the will to travel from A to B in a straight line, no matter how many unfortunate people might be standing in that path. And guess what, Crichton? You now have his undivided attention. Under the circumstances, bladder release is permissible and, indeed, encouraged.
      Meanwhile, Aeryn's treatment is going pretty well: it's stopped her condition from worsening, so they can hold out indefinitely unless something happens with Moya. Anyway, something happens with Moya. To say our heroes are cursed would be underselling it- at least curses usually have a chance of being lifted in some way.
      So, for the full scale of just how bad things are: Aeryn's death is imminent, Moya's in the early stages of labour- meaning no escape from the system is possible-, Crichton's locked up in a maximum-security base, being tortured for information, and Chiana and PK Tech Girl have holed up in an out-of-the-way place and hoping that no-one will detect them. How can things possibly get worse? (Captain Crais arrives at the base) The arrival of your nemesis and mortal enemy, of course! After this, the Angel Gabriel arrives to tell Crichton he's the only one God doesn't love.
    • In "Liars, Guns and Money, part 1: A Not So Simple Plan"
      Things seem to be going according to plan, so obviously something must be going horribly wrong.
      It turns out this was prompted because the real Scorpius has shown up; he has a deposit here - the deposit that they're going to steal. Yeah. The guy who has been chasing them through the Uncharted Territories with single-minded dedication; yes, that guy. Oh, and the heat-sink in his head is due for a change, so now they're facing him when he's in an extremely bad mood. The Moya crew's luck is so bad I'm surprised they can play Scissors Paper Rock and not have somebody's fingers fall off.
      (Stark has just gone crazy and smashed his security interface, forcing D'Argo to knock him out) Now D'Argo's stuck trying hack this thing, and since his previous effort was walking through the front door, I'd say good luck with that... but then, I don't think that even with translator microbes they'd know the meaning of that phrase.
      ... Wait a minute, everybody got away! The hell? Things can't go right, they just... no, it doesn't work that way. Maybe there's a tracking device in the case, or perhaps even worse, the money they've stolen is actually bitcoins.
    • In "Liars, Guns and Money, part 2: With Friends Like These"
      Oh, for fuck's sakes! The only way you guys will catch a break is if "Break" is the name of a virus that makes your ass bleed.
      ...Crichton has decided to set up a second plan, using the money from the first plan to finance it. (Cut to one of the spider-ingots scuttling away) And that is the money they're planning to use, scurrying about the place to remind them of how their plans usually go: even success is ultimately horrible failure.
  • "Out of Their Minds":
    • When Crichton is in Aeryn's body and falls to the inevitable temptation of checking out her boobs, Chuck sets the whole scene to the Farscape theme. It is glorious.
    • His summary of the show as a whole: "The crew of Moya know [they're pathetic] and they aren't ashamed to admit it. And yet they also know they're badasses. If Star Wars and Red Dwarf had a baby and that baby ran away and joined the circus, that's Farscape.
    • Wants "I Just Peed in the Maintenance Bay" as his ringtone, but unfortunately it's too short.
  • "Liars Guns And Money":
    • In one of the few jokes not related to the crew's horrible luck, Chuck surmises that the situation is building towards one big climax - and then cuts to show a huge blob of viscous blue fluid splashing into Chiana's face. Chuck can only remark that this isn't what it looks like; after all, D'Argo isn't on board the ship at the time.
    • Later, Chuck brings up the "building towards a big climax" joke again, this time following it up with Scorpius and Natira enjoying a violent sexual tryst that ends with the coolant rod ejecting itself from Scorpy's head. "Now that time, it was what it looked like."
    • After it's noted that Moya's creators, The Builders, took their sweet time getting around to investigating Moya's gunship baby, Chuck provides a rather pertinent clip from In the Loop regarding the tardiness of builders.

    The X-Files 
  • "Pilot":
    • After mentioning that the events of The Lone Gunmen bore an uncanny resemblance to 9/11, Chuck proposes another idea George Bush might have gotten from a TV show: US Power Rangers.
    • When the question arises as to how the courts could possibly prosecute a supernatural crime, which Chuck then continues in this hilarious fashion:
      Chuck: I point you to the disastrous case of Kramer vs. (paraphrased) Gelavan-pah-doi-doi-bloop-ooh-ueh-fwuh-whoop-whululululula which showed how difficult jusrisdiction can be in establishing these cases.
  • "Deep Throat"
    • When Chuck points out that no matter what they do, Idaho is always known for just potatoes, he reveals the state is the Harry Kim of the country. Poor, dumb Idaho.
  • From "Fallen Angel":
    • His conspiracy theory:
      Chuck as Max Fennig: Apollo 11 was completely faked! But thanks to that flying saucer we got at Roswell, we faked it... on the Moon! That's why it looks so real!
    • When Mulder and Scully want to interview a witness about her late husband, she's not very willing to talk. Chuck has some funny stuff to say about her appreciation of her late spouse.
      Angry lady: He's dead! What else is there to know?
      Chuck: Agh. That is the... hm-um-um... the third worst eulogy I've ever heard.
    • His pointing out that Mulder puts on his brainy specs and that Scully has a hearing at the FBI's Super Long Table Division. Hilarious. Tropes Are Not Bad, you know. Tropes are funny.
  • From his review of "Tooms" :
    • When Mulder switches on the escalator that crushes and kills Tooms, a cheery theme song of The Jeffersons starts playing.
      [singing enthusiastically] Well we're movin' on up//To the east side.//To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
    • This bit: Arlan Green does not like to be called old.
      Chuck as Arlan Green: Old couple? I'm only 54, for Christ's sake!
  • "The Host":
    • Chuck points out the legal difficulties of trying the freaks in the X-Files universe, and says they just stick them in mental hospitals and use them to prank the guests.
      Tour Guide: Now, here you'll see a man who thinks he's a suction monster—
      Guest: Oh, dear God, what is that thing?!?
      Tour Guide: Stop it! You're just encouraging him! Now Frank, sit down and return to your art therapy.
    • Claiming the teaser, involving a toilet flooding an entire hallway, is one of his home movies.note 
  • "Blood":
    • "It's a controversial topic, subliminal messages. Personally, I don't think-must drink Coca-Cola..."
    • The video of LSDM, a chemical pesticide meant to drive away bugs through simulating their fear response, is... Hopper being fed to goldfinch chicks.
    • Mulder actually hoped that the woman (known from adult films industry) would attack him. Sheriff the cock-blocker absolutely spoilt the fun for him by shooting her.
    • His Elvis Presley impersonation, thank you very much!
    • Droopy is freaked because his calculator tells him BLOOD too. He's freaked because it normally only says BOOBIES.
    • His take on The Omniscient Council of Vagueness: Who are they? "Evil people, duh! Who else? You know, men who sit at long tables in poorly lit rooms full of cigar smoke, who talk about how they're going to controool the wooorld!"
  • "Sleepless":
    • Chuck gives us this little gem while discussing the NSA.
      Still, if the news of the past week has taught us anything, it's that the government wants to have that stuff down there. They want to know everything from how often I order Chinese food to how often I download erotic pictures of Tali'Zorah. Kidding, kidding of course...*Beat*...I hate Chinese food.
  • "Ascension":
    • After going through Mulder's report, which is likely full of typos, Skinner tells Mulder he's reopening the X-Files, after which Mulder just walks out.
      Skinner: Uh, you're welcome! And there's only one "s" in "asphyxiation"!
  • "Aubrey"
    • After Mulder's bizarre explanation of Genetic Memory as "we're each made up of all the biological material of our ancestors" Chuck points out that would only be true if we ate them.
  • "Fresh Bones":
    • Claiming that the teaser was actually caused by a ceramic lawn jockey the camera focuses on for some odd reason.
  • "F. Emasculata"
    • Mulder have to concede that Cigarette Smoking Man has a point about handling threat of the infection. He is not happy about this:
      Chuck (as Mulder): (grumbling) Black-lunged son of a... "How many are being infected because you're not doing your job? Myah, myah, myah! You can't prove I did anything!" Well, watch your ass, pal! Because when I put my to it there's nothing I can't— (fumbles with his seatbelt) I can't— (continued fumbling with his seatbelt) Can't, get— (even more fumbling with his seatbelt before giving up) Christ! (his phone rings) Oh, what fresh hell is this?! (takes the call) You've reached Fox Mulder, kindly fuck off!
  • "Our Town"
    • After he finds proof of cannibalism in a way that renders it 100% inadmissible in any court of law, Chuck wonders how much of Mulder's career troubles are from a shadowy conspiracy, and how much come from him being a shitty agent.

    Battlestar Galactica 
  • During the Battlestar Galactica miniseries review:
    • The constant comments by Colonel Tigh on his drunkenness, as well as this comment:
      Chief Tyrol: That was heartless, Colonel! What are you, a Cylon or something?
      Colonel Tigh: Blow me, Chief. I'm no more a Cylon than you are.
    • And later:
      Chuck: A hologram that only you can see and hear, huh? Guess that means Dean Stockwell's a Cylon as well!
    • Lightheartedly comparing the attack on Caprica to 9/11 conspiracy theories.
    • "Gah, I picked the wrong week to quit drinkin'. Good thing I didn't."
    • During Adama's Earth speech:
      Adama: And then there's the scurvy.
      Officer: We get it, sir.
      Adama: The slow descent into cannibalism.
      Officer: You've made your point, sir.
      Adama: Flipping a coin to decide whether you should step out the airlock or just blow your head off.
      Officer: Please stop cheering us up. You're making the Marines cry.
  • The Cylon centurions constantly snarking at the events and the plot.
  • "No president is a super-hero, except Obama, or as his true birth certificate calls him, John Stewart."

    Babylon 5 
  • "The Gathering": Chuck's skit about Takashima saying legend says a human once saw a Vorlon and turned to stone.
    Sinclair: No no no, Commander, it's a Vorlon, not a Gorgon.
    Takashima: That Muslim holy book?
    Sinclair: No, that's a Koran.
    Takashima: That skirt-wrap thing in Southeast Asia.
    Sinclair: That's a sarong!
    Takashima: Oh, when all the lions combine together into a robot—
    Sinclair: No, that's Voltron!
    Takashima: (beat) You're really sure it's not the turn-to-stone thing?
    Sinclair: Why would looking at anything make you turn to stone?
    Takashima: How do I know? Do I look like a Vorlon? Besides the fact that nobody knows what they look like. And you're not turning to stone.
    Sinclair: Look, what you're talking about is spontaneous transmutation being caused by being looked at.
    Takashima: Maybe it has to look at you then?
    Sinclair: You mean like a basilisk?
    Takashima: Yes! Doctor, this is very important: do you have a weasel? It might save your life.
    Kyle: Well, of course not.
    Sinclair: Obviously.
    Kyle: Somebody said we don't need any weasels in the Medlab!
    Sinclair: (through gritted teeth) As soon as this mystery is over, you are both fucking fired.
  • In "Soul Hunter" when the second hunter arrives and Sinclair sarcastically asks if there's a convention nobody told him about, Chuck has Ivanova claim that the next day is Soultober Fest and then go on to describe the festivities.
    • Sarcastically extolling the preparedness of Babylon 5's security personnel, then going on to blast them for being horrible at it as the Soul Hunter sneaks out of a hatch, ambushes a security guard from behind, who's standing right next to a sign proclaiming "Security" but it's misspelled "Securty." He posits that the only way this could be more incompetent was if said security guard was staring down the barrel of his own gun and pulling the trigger at the time.
    • Gets a Call-Back when he mentiones that Garibaldi's badge does say "Securty Chef" on it.
  • "Infection", lamenting that the archaeologist has no patience:
    Chuck: I mean, for crying out loud, we saw more from Kirk and Walking Bear during their exploration in. . . um (finger-snapping noises). . um. . . what was that episode again—
    Sinclair: How sharper than a serpent's tooth.
    Chuck: Thank you! I'm glad somebody's watching the Star Trek: The Animated Series reviews I do.
  • In "The War Prayer", ending with a melancholy speech about how people can let you down, how bad things can feed into more badness, but you can choose to rise above it, because without embracing life and love, there's one thing you can't do: cut to a video montage of people around the world dancing (badly) to "I Hope You Dance" by LeAnn Womack. This works on two levels. . . one, refering to Londo's character arc in the episode, and his words "My shoes are too tight, and I have forgotten how to dance." The other calling back to him joking that Ivanova's old ex might have taken a liking to country music during their time apart, which in Chuck's book is an absolute deal-breaker.
  • The review of "And the Sky Full of Stars" has Chuck editing the scene where Sinclair wakes up in the simulation, with his telecomm using Alexa's voice, and his communicator playing "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground, which keeps playing until he [Chuck] starts narrating again. Then, after a brief description of what's happening on the real station, we cut back to Sinclair, and the song's still playing!
    • During the review, he plays a clip of Franklin asking Delenn what she did during the Earth-Minbari war. In the episode itself, Delenn demurrs, because she still feels guilt over kicking off said war. In the review:
      Chuck!Delenn: Oh, me? I cast the deciding vote to exterminate your kind. Thanks for being a complete pussy and making that easy for us!
    • The description: "Someone wants to know what happened at the Battle of the Line, and are determined enough to go into Sinclair's head to find it. So they send in Khan's right-hand man and the general working with the time-traveling space Nazis to find out."
    • Giving Sinclair props for being a badass. Knight Two pushes Sinclair a bit too hard in the simulation, and Sinclair responds by rabbit-punching him clear out of the VR world.
      Chuck: (chuckling in admiration) Damn, look at Sinclair! Not above a punch to the kidney! Well, the guy goes off to piss some blood. . .
  • The "Deathwalker'' review has a running gag where everyone hearing the titular character's moniker mistakes it for a Chuck Norris movie.
  • In "By Any Means Necessary", G'Kar has just found out that the plant he needs belongs to Londo:
    G'Kar: Why does the universe hate me?
    Chuck: Do you want that alphabetically or chronologically?
  • From "Signs and Portents": "Well, wouldn't you know it? A [Shadow] ship appears, made out of badass and the nightmares of orphans..."
    • Also, he's unimpressed with the doomsaying of the (bald) seer Ladira:
      Ladira: Death, fire, pain—
      Chuck: Ah, stick a sock in it, Ilia!
    • And there's his commentary on Ladira's vision of the Shadow ship in her tea:
    Chuck: Big mistake. Never, ever give a fragile cup to anyone with psychic powers. You're only gonna wind up minus one cup and pissing off the janitor, because the more breakable the cup is, the more it hones their psychic abilities, so that they'll spaz out and drop it. Thanks, demons of the great beyond, I guess we can't have nice things!
  • The description for "Grail": While a guy who worked on the Babylon stations is being pursued by organize crime, a guy shows up searching for the Holy Grail. He must be a king. He hasn't got shit all over him.
    • The trail of human vs. Vree over the latter's great-grandfather abducting the former's great-grandfather:
    Chuck: (on seeing the Vree) Well I'll be, the truth is out there! Way out there.
    Ombudmsan: (to Vree) How do you plead?
    Vree: (holds up a card with an alien symbol)
    Chuck: I knew it, trying to play the race card, just like always.
    • His reaction to Jinxo's story (he worked on all the Babylon stations, the first three were blown up when he took leave, he stayed through to completion on the fourth, and it vanished the second he left):
      Chuck: Which naturally freaked him out. I mean, the first are wierd coincidences, but then the fourth comes along, when the thing — it's not like it disappeared behind some trees and was never seen again, he watched it get sucked up the asshole of space and time! That'd be enough make even James Randi pause.
    • The Monty Python jokes reaching their logical conclusion:
      Chuck: You know, though, they never did get a chance to question G'kar about it, did they? Then again, I have a feeling about how that conversation would go:
      French Knight: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen! Uh, he's already got one, you see?

      Chuck: Plus, I couldn't help but notice, with the whole idea of the Holy Grail and thinking of Monty Python, the similarity between The Babylon Project and Swamp Castle. Right?
      King of Swamp Castle: It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp! But the fouth one, that stayed up!
  • "Revelations":
    • Discussing Sheridan's second episode:
      Chuck: Now that he's settled in, he can get down to some good, old-fashioned Character Development! They give out military decorations for that, don't'cha'know. For being brave and multi-dimensional beyond the call!
    • Garibaldi waking up, and being a bit behind the times. Bonus points for the skit sounding like something Garibaldi would actually do.
      Garibaldi: Listen! There's a plot to kill the president! We have to stop it!
      Ivanova: Yes, the president is actually already dead. You're too late.
      Garibaldi: Oh. Well, also, there's a plan to wipe out the Narn in Quadrant 37!
      Franklin: Yes, that's also already happened.
      Garibaldi: Man. Well, we'd better warn the fleet, they're about to screw up and accidentally kill Dukhat, the spiritual leader of a powerful alien—
      Ivanova: You have not been out that long!
      Garibaldi: And there's this boat, it's called the Titanic, see? You have got to warn them!
    • When Garibaldi fails to remember who shot him:
      Guy-Who-Shot-Garibaldi:' (relieved) Oh, thank God. (Verbal Backspace) I-I mean, thank God Garibaldi is okay, despite the tragedy that he'll never recall the handsome and well-endowed man who shot him.
  • In "In the Shadow of Z'ha'dum", his comments about Jesus being a superhero becomes especially funny when he calls Jesus a Golden Age superhero, and thus his miracles wouldn't affect wood.
  • His thoughts on Ivanova's "Human-style sex" from "Acts of Sacrifice":
    "I'm saving this for when I have to teach my kids about the birds and the bees."
  • His impressions of N'Grath, the mantis guy who showed up in couple episodes. Who he characterises as being a funny man.
    "You'll have to excuse me, I was just praying. Ha ha ha, bit of an ice breaker."
    "Ya don't have to bite my head off. Who do you think you are, my wife? Ha ha ha, I've got a million of 'em."
  • From "Grey 17 is Missing", after Marcus gives his badass Ranger oath about standing on the bridge so none may pass:
    "No no, you're thinking of the wizard. The ranger ran like hell!"
  • From "GROPOS", the conversation between one of the soldiers and Delenn:
    Bald Soldier: Minbari don't have hair. This is human hair.
    Chuck as Bald Soldier: It's mine, you stole it from me!
  • His Actor Allusions with Sheridan (Bruce Boxleitner), like when he's just finished giving the speech from Earth declaring martial law.
    "Sheridan feels awful having read that. This is the worst thing he's done since Transmorphers 2."
    "To see this situation as an opportunity... you know, like Tron Uprising."
  • The ritualistic Minbari dinner in "Confessions and Lamentations", which Lennier says he spent two days preparing, makes Chuck speculate that the streets of Minbar are filled with Chinese takeout and pizza because most couples don't want to spend two days cooking.
  • Chuck's little addition to Sheridan's Backhanded Apology in "The Fall of Night":
    Chuck as Sheridan: And I'm especially sorry for "T.K.O." I wasn't in that one, but I really felt an apology was in order, nevertheless.
  • When Garibaldi, inspecting a murder scene, pulls out a pair of red underwear in "The Parliament of Dreams", Chuck comments that they can rule out one suspect, and replays the clip of drunk Londo saying "But in purple, I am stunning!"
  • Combined with Awesome, in his review for Severed Dreams, a gigantic rapid-fire spiel about Mars rejecting President Clarke's Martial Law order, using the words "Martian," "Martial," and "Marshall" as often as he possibly can. It quite simply cannot be retyped.
  • Explaining the Timey-Wimey Ball of War Without End, Part 1:
    • The description for the review: "Sinclair returns to Babylon 5 just in time for a crisis once again involving Babylon 4, the fashionably late station." As opposed to Babylons 1 through 3, which are just late.
  • War Without End, Part 2: Once again, the description: "The thrilling conclusion as our heroes try to preserve history by stealing Babylon 4 to help fight the Shadows before now so they don't all die like they had when they didn't oh no I've gone crosseyed!"
  • Chuck's comments about G'Kar's... fondness for human women in "Chrysalis":
    [as three women leave G'Kar's bedroom] "Jesus, is that a bed, or a clown car?!"
    • Na'Toth comes back to G'Kar, who's exhausted for some reason...
      "Well, we've scrubbed, bleached, or burned everything in there, Ambassador. Ready for the cheerleaders?"
    • And then the joke carries over into his review of Season 2's "Revelations":
      Chuck: Na'Toth is surprised to see G'Kar, although whether it's because he's finally back or he's here without an entire girl's volleyball team in his room, I really couldn't say.
  • His introduction for the "Revelations" section of his "Meet John Sheridan" video:
    Chuck: So, what's G'Kar been up to during all of this? [Cue clip of Narn ships fleeing Shadow ships] Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap!
  • In his review of "The Geometry of Shadows", he sets up the giant holodemon as a secretary for the Technomages:
    Holodemon: I'm afraid there are no openings in the calendar until next Tuesday. We have an end-of-quarter goat bloodletting to complete.
  • During his review of "Legacies", he describes the Minbari Warrior Caste as less proud warriors and more like a bunch of drunk assholes looking for a fight - appropriate considering that the Minbari turn violent after even the slightest amount of booze.
  • During his review of "The Corps is Mother, The Corps is Father", Chuck replaces the pro-Psi Corps propaganda film with a movie on how to prevent STDs.
  • Regarding the "Not Wearing Pants" Dream in "Sic Transit Vir", he segues into talking about his own weird dreams, including one he dreamed that he was asleep. He felt so cheated upon waking up that he wishes there was a department he could call to complain to.

  • In the review for the Firefly episode "Out of Gas" he makes a comment on Wash's Porn Stache shown in the flashback to indicate that he was an ex-porn star, and that the "skills" he learned from it were what got Zoe to like him. He also rattles off porn title versions of other Joss Whedon shows: Buffy the Vampire Layer, Dr. Horrible's Super-Long Dong, and Sex-Doll House.
    • He picks up the joke again with the Inara flashback:
    Mal: And you figure you'll be getting this discount [to rent a shuttle] why, exactly?
    Inara: You want me.
    Chuck: Ah, you do have the coupon for "Smokin' Hot Booty", I see. We do still honor those. And incidentally, "Smokin' Hot Booty" 1, 2, and 4 all starred Wash. Of course not number 3, because that man had standards.
  • The "Shindig" review: "Yeah, too far, Mal. Picking on Kaylee, it's like punching Fluttershy. It's just plain wrong."
  • Chuck taking the already-hilarious "I'll be in my bunk" Running Gag and making it even funnier.
    Chuck: Speaking of jerkoffs... [referring to Wash sabotaging the shuttle]
    Chuck: Guess this is bringing a whole new meaning to "Fun with Dick and Jane".

    Doctor Who 
  • His utter horror in "The Celestial Toymaker" at hearing the King of Hearts drop the n-word.
  • This line from the review of "The Green Death" after he discovers the villain's rather unimpressive lair (in a power plant's office block) has a fully functioning self destruct system.
  • From his review of "An Unearthly Child", his use of political jokes about the cavemen, especially as they wildly veer back and forth between American and British references. And naming the old cavewoman 'Mary Whitehouse' as well as his high pitched impression of her continued rants about fire being bad.
  • In the lost episode "Galaxy 4", we encounter a psychotic female captain named Maaga. After some sound clips demonstrate her ruthless attitude towards her own crew, Chuck 'accidentally' starts to call her 'Janeway' before correcting himself.
  • According to Chuck, the universe's way of repairing a Never the Selves Shall Meet paradox is through the power of Rickroll (complete with a crowd screaming in fear).
  • From "The Wheel in Space" funny bits include Cyberman dancing, and a MST3K shout out. "In the not-too distant future..."
  • From "The Invasion": Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart's song
  • During his review of "Rose", the title character meets a conspiracy nut that runs a Doctor-sighting site. Even his family finds him nuts.
    Chuck: Poor people. Having to put up with this hobby taking over...(shouting at his own family) Get out! I told you, I am not playing. I. Am. Working. Now get out! (beat) Sorry about that.
  • The obligatory joke when Dalek Caan performs the emergency temporal shift in "Evolution of the Daleks".
    • He also uses a clip of the Doctor that closely matches the expression of the source of said obligatory joke.
  • Part of of his review of the "The End of Time" has the culmination of his "Dammit, there's nothing gay about this!" running gag after one too many Ho Yay moments between the Doctor and the Master.
    Chuck: Oh, I can't pretend anymore! It's gay, it's gay, it's so gay! On a scale of one to ten this scores a gay-point-gay! It's so gay, that when mathematically graphed out it forms a fractal of gayness bending over further and further into infinity, like an M. C. Escher sketch of man-on-man action where both men are simultaneously the man on the other man! On the seventh day of Creation, when God planned to create gay, he saw the across time, blinked, then did a slow clap while shaking his head, saying "Well, there's no way I can top that. I might as well take the day off!" even as Adam protested, "You can't stop now. All you've made of the dinosaurs are bones! And what about this Higgs boson thing? You were up all night making all the blueprints. You can't not create it now!"
  • His review of "The Eleventh Hour" continues the "unintentional bondage theme" of the trilogy of reviews.
  • In "The End of the World" the Adherrents of the Repeated Meme get exactly the running gag you'd expect.
    • He also, rather appropriately, replaces the song 'Tainted Love' (which played in the original episode) with Music/REM's 'The End of the World as We Known It'. Complete with the Ninth Doctor bobbing his head in tune with the song.
    • His running gag about how horrifying Cassandra is.
      • This culminates in her death scene: using the same tone of voice he used to describe how the Doctor was willing to have Cassandra die, the second she bursts, he says "I'm going to throw up."
  • The description for the "Inferno" review:
    This month's look at Doctor Who travels back to the early adventures of the Third Doctor. Someone wants to drill a hole through the crust of the Earth, so the Doctor winds up in a nightmare alternate reality, I trust you see the connection.
  • His comments on Omega's Large Ham in "The Three Doctors".
    "This is the part where BRIAN BLESSED comes in and says 'Dude, take it down a notch!'"
  • In the "Ark In Space" review, Chuck deducts that Harry Sullivan seems to be "the embodiment of every stereotype Americans have for the English". He then says that all he needs is a bowler hat- ahh.
    • He even has a clip of Harry going "I say! What's all that there?"
  • The Stinger for "The Sontaran Experiment." After an entire episode of a Sontaran subjecting humans on a blasted Earth to cruel experiments For Science!, we get...
  • From "Genesis of the Daleks":
    • Referring to Harry Sullivan's repeated ability to get into trouble: "Poor, dumb Harry."
    • Chuck deciding that he wants to use outdated, obsolete technology as "future tech" because he can just make up names for them.
    • Questioning why the line "She is a Norm. All Norms must die. It is the law." hasn't become a meme, Chuck mentions that it's hard to resist using it in conversation.
      Chuck: Made for a very awkward parent-teacher conference, I can tell you that.
  • From "Fear Her":
    • Chuck opens the review with a quote from episode writer Matthew Graham, responding to the criticism with "It's not meant for you". He gleefully takes that as a challenge to thrash the episode and then claim it's "not meant for Matthew Graham". The way he says "It's not meant for yoooouuu! Hahaha!" in an evil, vaguely European accent seals the deal.
    • Growing so incensed with the mother that he says, in rapid succession, that she makes Madoka's mom look like Clark Kent's, and that Neelix is awed by her incompetence.
  • From "Asylum of the Daleks": Calling Clara Oswald a CILF, then showing great interest after she mentions her "phase".
  • From the top 50 missing episodes video, "Marco Polo":
    "The TARDIS lands in the Himalayas, and they wonder if a giant footprint outside might be from an Abominable Snowman. Yeah, that's a ridiculous thought."
  • Discussing his mixed feelings about an episode of "The Underwater Menace" being discovered.
    "Any lost episode being found is a cause for celebration from Doctor Who fans, so you can imagine my delight when the news came. Another episode found, hooray! Which one was it? ...Oh. The Underwater Menace. (quietly) Shit. Hooray...I guess.
  • From the "Lost in Time" series, while discussing some rumors that had appeared recently and checking if it was possible for them to be true, he starts to explain a very unlikely scenario of a group of mercenaries working distributing television shows in Africa and the Middle-East to hide their mercenary work, including Doctor Who, with it sounding like something out of a fiction story... only to make it clear that the rumor is, hold on to your hats, that they had Doctor Who in their vaults, and all the other stuff is historically accurate. Chuck even cracks at one point at how unbelievable it is.
  • When Eleven brings up the one incarnation he's tried his hardest to forget in "The Day of the Doctor", Chuck guesses it's Peter Cushing.
    • His somewhat terrified squeeing over the 12th Doctor's Death Glare.
  • In "The Twin Dilemma", Chuck is stunned by the fact that the Doctor seems to be manually inputting the millions of millions of possible combinations for a digitized lock: "With fingers that nimble, it's a wonder Romana ever left the TARDIS."
    • As one of Mestor's mind-controlled mooks feels the effects of his death.
      Chuck: He is in agony. How can we help—
      (Hugo promptly punches the screaming mook in the gut)
      Chuck: He really is a cop, isn't he?
  • Apparently, "Love & Monsters" is so bad, that Michael Grade cancelled the show in the vain hope it would never be aired.
  • From the "Silence in the Library" review, after a small, round security camera falls to the ground: "I'm in space".
  • In "The Doctor Dances", Chuck describes how the nanogenes are destroying the world, but thinking they're saving it, like anti-vaccine advocate Jenny McCarthy.
  • In "The Time of the Doctor", he says that the regeneration of Matt Smith is emotional and heartfelt. But in the middle is a whole lot of Stupid!!
    Karen: Is that a wig?
    Matt: Yes, I shaved my head for an independent film that lost money and people hated. You?
    Karen: Yup, shaved my head for a big budget film that made tons of money and people loved.
    Matt: Heh, sellout.
  • In "The King's Demons", after the Doctor says "a French knight", we cut to a brief but obligatory clip from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
  • In "The Angels Take Manhattan", he's so baffled by the Statue of Liberty becoming a Weeping Angel, that he asks the Doctor for an explanation:
    Malcolm Tucker: How does that... how does that even work? Oh, fuck no, I don't care!
  • At the end of the TV movie, which ends on January 1, 2000, the Eighth Doctor tells Chang to take a vacation from San Francisco next Christmas, to which Chuck adds "And there's something involving New York City next, slipped my mind. Probably nothing. Forget I mentioned it."
  • In "Last Of The Time Lords" he reacts with considerable bemusement at the fact that Martha's search for a gun that could kill the Master was so "obviously" false, because the supposed key to the mystery was lost amidst the bewilderment over Russell T Davies' usual bullshit. The idea of a gun with a Gotta Catch 'Em All plot attached to it was ridiculous, but Chuck admitted he went along with it because of equally ridiculous things like the lack of security precautions around the POTUS, Jack's contradictory nature as a fixed point in time, and the Master behaving like "a flawed Robin Williams clone"; it even seemed reasonable compared to the Timelord Tinkerbell Jesus finale. For good measure, Chuck concludes with this:
    Yes, I fell for it, because when a child is telling you about the part when they got to on ride dinosaurs, you just nod and say to them "I hope you held tightly on the reins so you didn't fall off!"
    • The smart-ass response to Messiah!Doctor making the diabetes-inducing decision to forgive the Master even after everything he's done in the past year. "I never liked Japan anyway!"
    • Calling the Toclafane "Toblerones." Also, noting that Jack somehow got past the ones guarding the TARDIS off-screen and managed to shut down the Paradox Engine just by shooting it - even though the Doctor had warned him that interfering with it could blow up the solar system.
    • Joking that the real reason Jack chose to stay in Cardiff was so he could shoot his enemies without the Doctor giving him dirty looks.
  • In "Face the Raven", there is this quip:
    Everyone calls [Ricksy] "murderer" and looks at him like they want to jump him right now and strangle him. Which I don't get, because he looks nothing like Adric.

    The Orville 
  • From the "Old Wounds" review
    • Chuck explains how Seth MacFarlane's character, Mercer, has had a rough year:
      Any way, Mercer took the affair hard, got a divorce, and spend the last year torpedoing his own career, with stumbling into work late and hungover and making a lot of bad decisions, like A Million Ways to Die in the West.
    • During the introduction of Penny Johnson Jerald's character:
      She, of course, was Kasidy Yates on Deep Space Nine, and she is playing the ship's doctor here, Finn, meaning that she is not only a regular, but she is one of the main characters, so that certainly gives some legitimacy to this. I mean, I know some people would say that Brannon Braga provides legitimacy, to which I would have to respond "Ah-ha-ho-ho-ho! Priceless!"
    • When it turns out that tardigrades (well, tardigrade DNA) surprisingly also plays a role in the episode, Chuck cannot help but make the obvious comparison to Star Trek: Discovery:
      It's a toss up if whether [The Orville]'s use of tardigrades or Discovery's is more absurd, but the fact that Seth MacFarlane's show is even in the running should be damning.
  • From the "If the Stars Should Appear" review.
    • Chuck mentions that Liam Neeson once voiced Hitler. In the stinger, Bryan Mills gives his famous phone Hitler in Downfall, who insists that he sounds nothing like him.
  • From Pria
    • His admitting that despite it being a bit extreme, Issac's practical joke is actually pretty good.
  • From the "Majority Rule" review.
    • The opening:
      "Majority Rule" begins with what could be an ordinary day for anyone. We see a young woman wake up in the morning... I should clarify; I mean, scenes of an ordinary day for anyone. Me watching a young woman while she sleeps is not how I spend most days. And the judge agreed with me.
  • From the "Firestorm" review:
    • There's a scene where a giant spider appears. The classic joke returns.

    Stargate Verse 
  • "Children of the Gods" review:
    • Chuck spends a minute going through the expected tropes with Sam being the most probable Designated Victim. Then Skara is taken instead:
      Chuck: Well fuck a duck.
    • A meta one: in the closing seconds of the second part of the review, as Chuck is delivering his "Next Time" spiel, an alarm clock goes off in the background.
  • "The Enemy Within":
    • He decides there needs to be a little break from the sheer weight of how screwed Kowalski is going into the surgery. This break involves a drawing of Daniel spending some quality time with Twilight Sparkle.
    • Poking fun at fans who took him to task for inaccuracies, by launching into a minute-long monologue filled with the most hilarious inaccuracies you could possibly imagine.
      Chuck: The Goa'uld voice effect that was employed in this episode was inspired by a blown take early in shooting when Amanda Tapping was possessed by the spirit of Gozer the Gozerian and began hovering and spraying the crew with blood.
  • "Nemesis":
  • From the end of "Watergate" using the "Ballad of the Green Berets" music, he composes an ode to all Red Shirts.
    Hapless soldiers from the sky,
    Beaming down to quickly die.
    Men who know their life’s crappy
    Those fighting men in the red jersey.

    Kirk, and Spock, McCoy and him.
    Bones will soon say, “He’s dead Jim.”
    His quick demise we all foresee
    For he’s the one in the red jersey.

    Not black. Not white. No race assumed.
    There’s just one hue to seal his doom.
    And even when he’s a she,
    She’s just as dead in a red jersey.

    We all know it’s too late.
    Beaming down, we sealed our fate.
    For Kirk and Spock, they too did see
    They both did die in a red jersey.
  • The description for his review of Season 5's "Meridian:"
    Daniel is dying of radiation poisoning. Then he dies. Sure am glad this isn't dark like Battlestar Galactica.
    • When Chuck brings up the Manhattan Project while talking about Kelowna trying to make a naquadria-powered WMD, he admits to being surprised about World War II era Japan having a nuclear weapons program - because he figured that they would just build giant robots.
  • "Nightwalkers":
  • "1969"
    • After SG-1 gets captured by the military in 1969, Chuck comments on how the team's gear is incredibly advanced compared to what the military used back then, before pointing out that said advanced technology is now twenty-two years old as of 2021 (when Chuck recorded the video.)
    Chuck: When did we get so old?
    • When the subject of the potential uses for time travel comes up, Chuck says that he'd go back to 2016 and place bets (ala Back to the Future) on that year's World Series, Brexit, and the Presidential Election to make a fortune. He'd then use said fortune to buy his own server - which would be on a zeppelin crewed by both sci-fi pirates and cheerleader pirates. Later on in the video, he realizes that if he got that zeppelin, then he'd have to change his website name, because he doesn't want to deal with the implications of using a zeppelin like the Hindenburg while having the word 'debris' in said name.


  • "Tao of Rodney" review:
    • We have him equating Sheppard teaching Rodney how to ascend, to the blind teaching the blind to Paint-by-numbers.
    • The bagpipe noises every time Rodney tries to clear his mind.
  • The description for "The Shrine" on Chuck's main site:
    Rodney gets a brain parasite that slowly shuts down his higher brain functions until he's reduced to the state of a drooling imbecile. Then he renames the network 'Syfy'.

  • From the Game of Thrones pilot:
    • Chuck's combined drinking game for severed heads and naked ladies (each naked lady covered up with a shot of a protester holding up a sign saying "I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT BOOBS ARE AWESOME!"
      • And by the time he gets to Khal Drogo sleeping with Daenerys, he's all out of booze, mixes up his notes, and grabs one of the more theological pieces from the The Matrix review.
    • "By the way, 'Screw you and the horse you rode in on" is only a figure of speech. Don't expect her to literally screw the horse! Though this might have inspired the Game of Thrones/My Little Pony Slash Fic I'm sure somebody has written somewhere."
    • "Because if there is one thing you can take away from Game of Thrones, it should be that blond royalty equals perverts. The Imp that was just having a wild orgy? HE'S THE NORMAL ONE."
  • 2011 Wonder Woman pilot:
    • Calling the pilot "Pants to be Darkened."
    • The opening where a black kid is accepted into college causes Chuck to say he should probably make a joke about "getting the wrong video," before settling on calling it the most unsettling ad for the United Negro College Fund.
      "Eyeblood is a terrible thing to waste."
    • As Wonder Woman's employees applaud her after her violent rampage in the climax:
    • The SFX subtitles. Just hilarious.
    • The picture of Bizarro to this quote:
      "Ah, so when the government official connected to the bad guy upholds the law, that's bad. When the government official connected to the good guy ignores the law, that's good. Because in this world Superman looks like this."
    • Using "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" as the opening.
    • The "I'm a Princess" Rant at the beginning of Part 2.
    • When one of Wonder Woman's assistants tries to calm her down by mentioning that patience is a virtue.
      Wonder Woman: It's not one of mine.
      Chuck: (deadpan) That's a fucking understatement.
  • From Twin Peaks review, describing Agent Cooper's methods: "I normally don't use the phrase 'I shit you not', except when I'm teaching Sunday school.
  • Torchwood:
    Our continuing look at Torchwood's fourth season, where every human on Earth has become immortal... except Captain Jack who now seems inexplicably mortal now. That hipster, always having to stop doing something just because it's gone mainstream.
    • An appearance by Wayne Knight gets, "Hello, Newman." A later reference to The Singularity gets, "Hello, Von Neumann."
    • From Part 1, when we see Gwen's...extensive...gun collection, Chuck realizes that Britain does not have any guns not because of some law: it's because Gwen took all the guns for herself.
    • In Part 4, he points out how not only has Oswald - the known pedophile and murderer - stood up as advocate for the quarantined, but a hospital worker has pointed him to an abandoned baby girl: "Ah, Miracle Day. You're always surprising. Much like the contents of a serial killer's fridge."
    • In Part 7, he jokingly complains that Classic Doctor Who didn't have this sort of sexual malarkey. Cue the massive storm of quotes from the old series reinterpreted for maximum innuendo.
    • A glorious bit of black comedy as he concedes that "maybe" the show isn't quite so family friendly but at least Doctor Who would never have paedophiles like Oswald Danes on the show... and the screen immediately cuts to Jimmy Savile's appearance on the show. Much to Chuck's exasperation. And then he admits that at least the Doctor and Tegan knew what they were dealing with... by cutting to a clip of them disgustedly reacting to Savile on the viewscreen.
  • Space: Above and Beyond:
    • When the aliens are almost nicknamed walkers: "Oh yeah, a show that called its villains "walkers" wouldn't last half as long as Space: Above and Beyond."
    • As the recruits arrive at boot camp, a Drill Sergeant Nasty starts addressing them like he's an auctioneer. Chuck says he should leave and watch R. Lee Ermey in action. Cue R. Lee Ermey in action...
  • Blake's 7:
  • Fringe: Originally, Chuck planned to review the episode "Peter". Instead, he did "What Lies Below". Why? Chuck is so unfamiliar with the series, he had no idea he was watching the wrong episode until partway through.
    Chuck: So... enjoy today's outing of "Fringe" while I go bang my head against the wall for a little while.
  • From Children of Dune, his comment on how Stilgar and Paul work together after Paul tells him not to kill an enemy.
    Chuck: You know, that's their relationship in a nutshell. Stilgar asks to kill somebody, Paul asks him politely not to, and so on. You know, I can imagine when they were in the White House, Kennedy and LBJ were like this all the time.
  • Hogfather: After Teatime's Disney Villain Death, Chuck waxes philosophical about how, given that the story is all about examining Humanity's tendency create gods and entities to explain various happenings and forces they don't understand, it's odd there has never been an Anthropomorphic Personification of Gravity. People create reason for the sun rising or money appearing for their teeth or even Death itself, but no one ever seems to question the ever-present downward force. And because of that, it stays constant, even in a place as removed from reality as the Toothfairy's realm. And who controls this constant universal force? Why the same Auditors of Reality that hired Teatime in the first place.
    An Auditor: "Oh. Bugger."
  • The Walking Dead - "Days Gone Bye"
    Shane: Do you express your thoughts? Do you share your feelings, that kinda stuff?
    Chuck: No, I'm a guy. What kinda ridiculous question is that?
    • Chuck comparing the failure to handle the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to "a one-armed teenage boy trying to unhook a bra".


    Cowboy Bebop 

  • Of course the robots from Gargoyles crash into each other all the time; they were made by Counselor Troi!
  • His ad for Two Guys With A Van villainy services during his review of "The Mirror".
  • In his review of "City of Stone", when Macbeth is getting crowned king of Scotland, his hands are spread out, and the subtitles say "Safe!"
  • His joke about gravity being a full-fledged character in the story due to falling/nearly falling to death being used as a plot device again and again. It ends with a caption gag.
    Oh no! Gravity's back to kill again!
  • "Damn you, Crazy Duff's Discount Swords! I knew that tray was no fluke!"
  • In "Eye of the Beholder", Chuck goes on a tirade on how Fox was turned into a Werewolf as opposed to a Werefox.
  • He makes fun of a spelling error in the episode... never even knew there was such a thing as a corut before now.
  • In "The Thrill of the Hunt", when Fox, Wolf, Goliath, and Lexington fall into a photoshoot with bikini models, Chuck replaces the music for the entire scene with Austin Powers' Leitmotifnote .

    Avatar: The Last Airbender 
  • From his review of season 1: "Since a comet, being made of rocks, ice, and gases, naturally powers the one element that's not present."
    Zhao: I realise my plan might seem insane at first, but if we destroy the moon, we'll cripple the greatest threat we face.
    Iroh: Waterbenders?
    Zhao: No, werewolves! They're everywhere, I tell you!
    • Later, when Zhao is being dragged to a watery grave by the Ocean Spirit, Chuck notes that he always figured he'd be killed by werewolves.
    • Chuck calling Aang both "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Charlie Brown" and "Light-Up Aang with Kung-Fu Grip", as well as giving General Zhao "Admiral-I-Set-Fire-To-My-Own-Boats" and "Count Crazy von Crazy".
    • His description of Jun the bounty hunter, ending with "...Marry me, Jun."
  • From his review of season 2 on tempting the gods of irony:
    Chuck: The first thing we learn is that the Dai Li are still loyal to Long Feng, that the letter from Toph's mom was actually from the bounty hunters who trap her in a metal cage, and that the Kyoshi Warriors who arrive to meet with the king are not Suki and her cohorts, but Azula, Mai and Pinkie Pie.
    • Chuck also ends his introductory description of Azula as an evil, controlling psychopath with a lament of yet another cartoon character reminding him of an ex-girlfriend.
    • His comparison of the Owl Librarian to the Tootsie pop owl.
  • From the review of Season 3:
    • Chuck says you're not allowed to enjoy the scene with Katara and Toph mud wrestling because they're both minors... but he's not sure Quentin Tarantino wasn't involved, given the number of shots of Toph's bare feet.
    • When Chuck talks about the episode, "The Headband", he says the Gaang must avoid the headmaster and his henchmen.
      Chuck: Yes, all teachers have henchmen, or HAD should I say. (under breath) Stupid school cutbacks.
    • When Azula uses firebending to fly off one gondola to another:
      Chuck as Azula: Captain Crazy-Pants away!

    The Legend Of Korra 
  • Chuck's running gag in his review of the first two episodes about how Korra's gleefully smiling Longing Look also looks like a glassy-eyed Slasher Smile, and his fervent hope that Korra doesn't suddenly start murdering everybody in their sleep.
  • When he hears Richard Epcar's voice, he goes into a monologue on how multiple animation marathons cause him to mix up voices, thinking about what Batou will tell Major Kusanagi about the Avatar, but then remembers that Bato is the name of Katara and Sokka's father (actually it's not) and then the Chief from The Omega Glory starts spinning in the air reciting anime titles. The moral of the story is not to eat Taco Bell and watch Adult Swim while tired.
  • Chuck making light of Mako delivering a One-Liner after stopping a group of gangsters by violently crashing their van and causing it to explode:
    Mako: (smug) Look like you had some car trouble. Good thing the police is here.
    Gangster: My spine is broken!
    Mako: (still smug) That'll teach you to handle hot goods!
    Gangster: (crying) I can't feel my legs!
  • Chuck discussing how Korra seems to hate her boyfriend, Mako, with: "And that's the audience's job!"

    My Little Pony 
  • Turning Sparkle, Twilight into Rorschach.
    Unicorn in alley this morning, tyre cutie mark on stomach. Equestria is afraid of me, I've seen its true face. The mare in the moon is coming, and when the night foams up around their waste, all the horses and politicians will shout "save us!". And I'll look down and whisper, neigh!
    "So, the show's creator, Lauren Faust...wait a minute, Faust? Oh come on, that's just being too obvious!"
    • How Chuck describes how reviewing this show feels to him:
    "I feel like Bill Hicks wandering into the Hundred Acre Wood!"
    • "When did the mare in the moon exchange reason for madness?!"
    • "Just kidding, horses and ponies are different. Please don't write me."
    • "...and Pinkie Pie's laughing when confronted with terror represents marijuana."
      • His reaction in Pinkie Pie's introduction: "Ugh, I think I dated her once..."
    • "Joy is a sign of weakness, and weakness will get ya killed, Spike!"
  • "All girls have their desires...that sounded better before I said it."
  • From "The Return of Harmony Part 2": "With her friends gone, the world is a much darker place." (Several highly amusing things rush past, including bison dancing ballet and a pony running along the sides of the screen) "...Metaphorically, of course."
    • His completely giving up on trying to avoid Accidental Innuendo when the girls start pinning each other down.
  • In his "Suited for Success" review he briefly goes on a confused aside wondering how his show went from spaceships and robots to ponies singing a song while sewing a dress.
  • During his April Fool's special, he notes that he can't Tweet about his job anymore, since when people say 'I'm watching My Little Pony at 3 in the morning', they usually end that sentence with 'and masturbating'
  • From the Spring Equinox Show:
    • Chuck groaning in ever increasing exasperation every time someone breaks into song.
  • Chuck's hatred for McDonalds continues when they become a sponsor for one of his Pony videos.
    SFDebris: Brought to you by McDonalds! Did someone say McDonalds? Well fuck'em!

    Clone Wars 
  • Count Dooku gets to do something to Savage Oppress that Chuck has only dreamed of doing to his students: force lightning!
    • In part one of the review he plays a clip in the language Star Wars is meant to be heard — Spanish!
  • The running gag in which Count Dooku can never get the items he wants in the size he wants.
  • From ""Cargo of Doom"":
    • Admiral Yularen astonishes Chuck with how a Republic Star Destroyer has no contingency plans in a war against an army of killer robots.
    Admiral Yularen: I came down to see if I can be of any help.
    Anakin: Really?
    Admiral Yularen: No, I came over to be exasperate with whatever unorthodox plan you come up with. If you can give me a moment to put on my monocle, I'll make sure it falls out at the right time to punctuate how brilliantly mad your plan is.
  • In ""Holocron Heist"", Yoda's face during premonitions tends to look like he has gas.
    • Obi-Wan's bad handling of the break-in, even after Yoda told him it would happen. He decides to rub Obi-Wan's face in it.
    Yoda: Ha! Outlive you all I will. Kiss my green ass you will.
    Obi-Wan: Yes master, you always tells us.
    Yoda: Ha! For my ass has the force, and a powerful ass it is!
  • From "Children of the Force":
    Ahsoka: Let me take the lead, Master. I've got a score to settle.
    Chuck: Ah, ha ha. Time for the speech. Yep. There is no emotion. There is peace. There is no passion. There is serenity.
    Anakin: All right, go with the Gungan.
    Chuck: There is no Jedi code. There are only paybacks, which are a bitch.
  • In "Landing at Point Rain", Chuck discusses how the Jedi value peace and only kill as a last resort. Cut to Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi ordering his clone troopers to use flamethrowers on the enemy.
  • In "Weapons Factory", when Barris is worried about starving while trapped with Ashoka:
    Barris: Just so you know, we're different species, so if I eat you it's technically not cannibalism.
  • In "Legacy of Terror":
    • "I found [Luminara's] light saber." "No, I found —" *buzzing noise* "No, you've got the lightsaber. Does anyone have a Wet Wipe?"
  • In "Brain Invaders" :
    • This conversation about how pervy some of the names in Star Wars are:
    Rick McCullum: Hey, George, maybe a creature covered in tentacles and given the name "Master Fisto" isn't as kid-friendly as you think.
    George Lucas: You said the same thing about Master Dickrangler and Darth Gottabigcock. I'm starting to think you're the one with the problem!
    • After Ahsoka kills a possessed Clone Trooper, then says he was her friend, Chuck calls back to it when Ahsoka and Bariss are fighting.
    Ahsoka: Please, Bariss, you're my friend! And you know what I do to my friends!
  • In "Bounty Hunters", Anakin is Training the Peaceful Villagers, and when they protest that they don't even have weapons Anakin shows them how to use a staff. Cue the clip of Indy shooting the swordsman.
  • In "Voyage of Temptation" , the villain has more or less placed Obi-Wan and Satine in a Sadistic Choice- neither can kill him without losing something important (either Satines morals, or her respect of Obi-Wan). Cue Anakin.. who's more fascinated with the concept of fudge pops than the guy he just killed.
    Obi-Wan: You could have just cut his hand off.
    Anakin: Ha, you can't kill someone by cutting their hand off.

    Puella Magi Madoka Magica 
  • "So, what are we reviewing today?" *a few clips from the opening credits*
  • "No! Do not trust bunny-cat!"
  • When Kyubey reveals he can grant any wish, Chuck warns everyone to Be Careful What You Wish For as genies can be real bastards. Like how a wish for the recovery of all the missing Doctor Who episodes means they can only be played in Real Player.
    • Also on the subject of Kyubey and wishes.
      Kyubey: I can grant the most impossible of miracles.
      Chuck: And the mystery of Justin Bieber is explained.
  • Him deciding that Hitomi must be a Narnia-deep closet lesbian due to her overreaction to the mistaken idea of Madoka and Sayaka dating one another.
  • Chuck's comment on the nature of wishes comes back in Episode 3: "I bet one of her classmates wished to see Mami topless, and this is what happened."
    • Just all of the "losing your head" jokes before Mami's untimely fate. Black Comedy at its finest.
  • Speculating that even if his wish to Kyuubey was to heal people with a touch, the result would probably be it only works if he sticks his penis in the person's mouth...and then he would get sick himself and not be flexible enough to fix it. "Sometimes when I start a sentence, I have no more idea where it's going than you do."
  • Chuck spinning Sayaka's heroic declaration to a speech by The Tick.
    Sayaka: From now on, I promise that I, Magical Girl Sayaka, will do my best to protect the peace of Mitakihara City!
    The Tick: Because when Evil comes dressed like a witch, then every night is Halloween and Justice must look for the Razor Blade of Badness in the Candy Floss of Being Nice to People! Or else, every treat will become a trick and villainy will egg the House of Goodness! And it doesn't scrub off, no sir!
  • Chuck noting Kyubey's one-track mind, imagining a scenario where Madoka asks for the most mundane help and Kyubey will only do it if she signs a contract.
  • When Homura mentions Walpurgisnacht, he explains that it can be literally translated as "oh fuck me RUN!"
    • He subsequently explains that Walpurgisnacht means "Witches' Night", so fighting a witch named Walpurgisnacht is like playing basketball against a man named Mr. NBA.
  • In his review of episode 7, Chuck promises to switch from dubbed clips to subtitled clips. The results are hilarious:
    • The subtitles of one scene are replaced with "Kyuubey, you're a dick."
    • Madoka suddenly speaks with a deep male voice.
    • Chuck replaces another scene with a Hitler Rant, complete with Cluster F-Bomb.
      Hitler Sayaka: Not only are those two magical girls trying to kill me; my "friend" tossed my soul off a f***ing overpass!
      Burgdorf Madoka: Sayaka, my mom said I should—
      Hitler Sayaka: Are you f***ing SERIOUS, Madoka?!
      Burgdorf Madoka: She said to do the wrong thing—
      Hitler Sayaka: Half the time that c***'s drunk off her tits! "Do the wrong thing?!" Last week she was so drunk she came to my house instead! She punched my mum and took a shit through the mail slot!
    • One of the comments on the Blip page:
    — PMMM is very kind to shippers, however. If you arrange the five major characters in a circle and draw lines between them to indicate "possible" (add air-quotes as necessary) relationships, you pretty much end up with a pentacle. Then, if you spill the blood of a virgin on it, Kyubey is summoned.
  • From Episode 9:
    • Chuck suggesting Kyubey came up with the magical girl plan via a botched Google search:
      Chuck (as Kyubey): Alright, need to stave off the heat death of the universe, so "waste energy internal heat death"... and, yes, I'm feeling lucky. *Clicks "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, which leads him to a Madoka-based lolicon website* That doesn't seem very rational, but perhaps that's why our science has never thought of it before! To the labs gentlemen!
  • Episode 10 has Homura's comments on Kyubey's magical girl/witch system.
  • Episode 12 has a bit where Chuck tries to explain why he feels that Sayaka and Kyoko aren't actually in love with each other... only to get verbally bitch-slapped by Crazy Janeway and "Timeless" Harry Kim.note 
    • The Stinger In the Style of... Pros and Cons with Adolf Hitler wherein Hitler discusses the pros and cons of dubbing Anime, before finally going on an angry tirade about how Fegelein downvoted of one his AMVs.

    Batman Beyond 
  • When Bruce first has a heart attack in part one of Rebirth, we get:
    Batman: Ugh, should have taken Stark up on that heart contraption of his.
    • When Terry's father's friend, Harry, is revealed to be suffering from some unknown disease, it's inevitable.
  • "You have the undivided attention of the Goddamn Batman. Hope that suit has a diaper in it."
  • In his review of "Return of the Joker", we have him casually commenting that Bruce is probably plotting ways to defeat the moon if it ever decides to attack the Earth.
    • Due to how Bruce is reacting to the Joker's return, Chuck decides to give him the voice of a cantankerous old man. It never stops being funny.

    Ghost In the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 

    Kannazuki No Miko 
  • Only three minutes into the review, the sheer amount of Les Yay present causes Chuck to give up and assume that the main characters are part of "Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Lesbians".
    Xavier: Which one? I have founded so many!
  • "And this unleashes a giant robot because, of course it releases a giant robot, it's Japan!"
  • The "Breast Points" Running Gag, which uses breast-like objects for each point.
  • The episode descriptions are unusually hilarious.
    Episode 2: Our continuing look at Kannazuki No Miko and the aftermath of the attack. But more importantly, this episode is about big robot fights and boobs. I should narrow that down, since every episode is about big robot fights and boobs.
    Episode 3: The story continues as the lesbian priestesses are attacked by a giant robot piloted by a catgirl. I don't know what the review can add to top that.
    Episode 11: We return for the final slog towards the end of this anime. The God of Swords is summoned, Himiko fights, Chikane, and I spend twenty minutes wishing I was dead.
    Episode 12: The conclusion in the world's longest death scene as the world is restored to normal and we're told everything was actually touching and sweet. Fine, fine, whatever, so long as it's over.
  • Chuck says that his inspection of all twelve episodes to keep the show safe for work has revealed that the girls have ninja nipples, which can hide behind any object covering their breasts regardless of size or position, in order to ambush people.
  • Episode 6: A stressed-out Chikane misses her practice target so far she never actually hits the hay bale it's on. Cue Chuck adding in car crash noises.
  • Episode 7:
    • "We return to Kannazuki No Miko. Why? I think you know why. You think long and hard about what you did!"
    • Manga Artist Villain: We won't stop until we destroy mankind!
      Chuck: You know mankind makes up a substantial portion of your comic audience, right? I'm guessing probably all of it? To have such complete disregard for your customers would make you either insane or Joe Quesada.
    • The Breast Points Running Gag comes back with a vengeance with the episode receiving a whopping 5 points, each represented by birds, specifically Blue-Footed Boobies.
    • At the first instance of Himeko's chest glowing when she's watching Ogami fight off an attack, Chuck refers to it as a "universal sign of support." Cue glowing nipples scene from Top Secret!.
  • Episode 11:
    • Chuck's frustration with the series, which has been growing ever since Episode 8, reaches its end-point, and he concludes that he has soured so much on the whole thing, with its constant Unfortunate Implications in its treatment of homosexual relationships and relationships in general, that he really doesn't care any more and just want to get the show over with as quickly as possible. As what is supposed to be the climax of the episode happens, he has only this to say:
      Sorry, but I've checked inventory, and we are fresh out of Fucks. In fact, our line of Fucks has been discontinued, and we will be unable to give any more Fucks in the future. We would apologize to our costumers, but they might construe from that we are not, in fact, out of Fucks, when we, quite clearly, are out of Fucks. Though we are fully stocked up on our new and improved Eat a Bag of Dicks.
    • Related, he decides to tribute the show with the only thing he can think of that's in equal taste and talent — frogs croaking "The Blue Danube".
  • Episode 12:

    Justice League Unlimited 
  • The description for the "Epilogue" review opens by hanging a nice little lampshade over the oddity of this being the first episode to be reviewed:
    We begin our first look at the Justice League by... looking at Batman Beyond.
    • It's minor, but there's Chuck recounting on how both times the show (or to be specific, the original show, Justice League, and this one) aired it's would-be conclusion... the network executives would then almost immediately ask what they had for season 3. Really, it's the way he describes it that brings out the humor.
    • Chuck says that given Bruce's elderly appearance, he'd be fit to star in Despicable Me 3.
    • After saying the words "Bat Semen", Chuck immediately shifts gears by pointing out how it doubles as an anagram for "basement".
      I just felt the need to quickly change the subject after the word[s] "Bat Semen" were uttered.
    • The return of Cantankerous Old Man Bruce Wayne.
    • His mocking Terry not asking Dana to marry him in the time between Beyond and "Epilogue".
  • On the subject of the Wonder Twins during the Ultimatum review:
    They were called the Wonder Twins, winners of the "Best Team Whose Names Doubles As A Reference to Wonder Woman's Boobs", beating out such teams as "Diana's Duo" and "the Amazon Torpedos". Now for gender fairness, I should also mention there was a team for Aquaman's johnson called "the Fishsticks", and for Ben Grimm's balls, Thing 1 and Thing 2."
  • In "A Better World 1", we get this note about Justice Lords:
    Chuck: Oddly enough their Wonder Woman is still less extreme than the one from the flopped live action pilot.
  • In "A Better World 2", when talking about Superman and Batman talking about how to deal with the Justice Lords, he shows a clip of the Scarlet Witch from the 1990s Iron Man cartoon and after she makes some weird sounds, he proclaims they'll never be so desperate to require her help.
  • In both the episode description, and the actual review of "Dark Heart", Chuck notes he has never wanted to be Atom more than during this story.
  • "Clash":
    • While talking about Superman's jealousy towards Captain Marvel, Chuck takes a phone call where he expresses similar thoughts about Plinkett in relation to his then-recent hoarse voice.
    • The above is then followed by subtitles expressing Superman's hatred towards Luthor when Luthor talks about Lexor City.
    • Chuck has Batman snarking about paying to rebuild Lexor City, and Superman being a dick after Superman and Captain Marvel trash the city.
  • "Panic in the Sky":
    • When Superman suggests the founding seven turn themselves in and Batman rejects it out of hand, Batman snarks about how much faith in the justice system a bat-dressed vigilante must have.
    • According to Chuck, Batman had had the Tower human staff practice anti-dinosaur kung-fu every week, just in case.
  • "Patriot Act":
    • Chuck succinctly points out why General Eiling obviously Didn't Think This Through:
      Eling: I'm gonna show the Justice League that you're not the only superpower on the block! That there is someone who can stop you! I'm here to protect them from you!
      Chuck: Because the one that people are sure to side with, is the underdressed, mutated freak who's smashing up a parade thanks to technology made by Nazis!

    Full Moon 
  • After saying that the donor had requested all 52 episodes and wondering what the 52 reviews would be like, showing the extremely cheery opening credits intercut with shots of Spock looking disdainful and Picard facepalming. "...fuck."
    Galvatron: This is Bullshit!
  • Having described exactly how shitty the protagonist's life is - orphaned, alone, only singing to give her life meaning, a crazy grandmother who hates singing, and throat cancer - two spirits come out of her poster:
    "They're surprised she can see them because they're death spirits, and who else would you expect? Santa skips her chimney, the Tooth Fairy left an IOU and the Easter Bunny egged her house."
  • Chuck takes advantage of that Channel Awesome pickup by telling people to send angry email to him at "".
  • In episode 2 he comments that if the show has a twelve year old naked girl in it he'll have to burn his computer and move to Latin America. The moment she turns back into a normal girl, complete with some bare arm?
    Chuck: (pauses the scene) I am Paul, I am Canadian. Soy Paul, Soy Canadiense.
    I have many American Dollars. Tengo muchos dólares americanos.
    I want your finest donkey. Quiero tu mejor burro.
    (resumes scene, and she is clothed) (sighs) Oh, that's a relief.
  • "I'm starting to think Mitsuki's grandmother saw Footloose as a tragic warning of what happens when a town fails to keep music away.
  • The reminders of how dissonant the show's mood is from its premise:
    Chuck: Full Moon, the upbeat tale of a terminally ill orphan, and her friends, the servants of death. After the review of the last episode I wouldn't be surprised if some of you were to say "Chuck, this story about the slow deterioration and agonizing death of a young girl, is too childish. All I could say is: 'Stick with it, they somehow manage to find drama in such a lighthearted premise.'
  • When talking about how unfortunate Mitsuki's life is, he notes that Takuto is probably the kindest person around to Mitsuki. Cut to Takuto insulting the art that Mitsuki worked on over her protests that she put her heart into it:
    Takuto: Even so, a bad drawing is a bad drawing.
    Chuck: And I still stand by that statement. Because for Mitsuki, that is being treated well. No one threw a cane at her or anything this time.
  • During a silly filler episode full of culturally-divergent gender norms, he keeps asserting that it could be worse: it could be Kannazuki no Miko.

  • In the review of episode 2, because of the look of the robes worn by two men at Van's coronation, Chuck makes this comment.
    Chuck: We are gathered here in the presence of God and these Daleks to witness...
    • Later, when Balgus cuts a Guymelef's arm off with his sword...
    Chuck: Wow, either those swords are ridiculously sharp or those Guymelefs are made of cookies... Just like Evangelions!
    • After noting two instances of the background music pretty much just singing "Escaflowne" in different ways, Chuck belts out a song of his own:
    Chuck: Magic moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie — Escaflowne!
  • Speculating that Folken's delay in chasing Van is because the emperor is too vague with his constant talk of dragons.
  • The comparison to Fenalia's supposed unprovoked attack on Zaibach to Iceland doing the same to China. Either a complete and total lie, or hyping up an argument between some viking cosplayers and a Chinese cab driver.

    Batman: The Animated Series 

    Gurren Lagann 
  • In Episode 2, Chuck blatantly ignores every one of Leeron's Camp Gay mannerisms, choosing to reinterpret them as Leeron just being a really confident mechanic. Then he declares out of the blue that Kamina's dad is gay, based on no evidence other than his own incredibly accurate Gaydar.
    • "This chapter was about Kamina. His past, his attitude, his barely contained homicidal urges towards things that threaten his sexuality..."
  • Also in Episode 2, his reaction to seeing one of the Beastmen.
    Chuck: What the hell was that? It looks like a gingerbread man made out of racism.
  • From Episode 3: "I never thought I'd say this, but this act of one man using his mighty drill to penetrate another man's body, so hard that they become one being in spirit and body... is too gay even for Leeron."
    • And during the famous first combining of Gurren and Lagann...
      Kamina: See!? Now we have two faces too! We're the same as you, fuzzball!
      Viral: You're stupid through and through, aren't you?
      Chuck: ...I have nothing to add to that.
  • After watching episode 6 (ie, The One With the ridiculous amounts of Fanservice), he expresses his utter bewilderment that this wasn't the "bad episode that doesn't fit" he was warned about and not episode 4.
    Chuck: I'm not saying that, once it's pointed out, it's not clear for those outside the anime community to see the difference in animation for that episode, but if you're going to pick an episode that seems like it doesn't belong, it's got to be the one where Kamina is carried around on the jiggling boobs of rabbit girls, and a kid sticks his finger up Simon's butt.
    • The analogy he gives: imagine a row of six cookies. Cookies 1-5 are all Oreos. Cookie 6 is chocolate chip. Which one is out of place? Cookie 4, because it's not an Oreo, but an off-brand knock-off.

    Transformers G1 
  • "If you feel like looking for a needle in a haystack, hunt down Tom Hanks doing his impression of Frank Sinatra singing the Transformers theme. It's catchy, and much better than Larry Crowne.
  • In his review of "Triple Takeover": "But finally, finally, [Skids] is gonna have his day." *Skids crashes into Prowl* "Oh, for God's sake, Skids, you didn't even lose the fight. You just crashed, you fucking asshole, Skids! I scrubbed toilets for you!"
  • "B.O.T.":
    • Playing "Ridin Dirty" to the Combaticons (including Blast Off and Vortex, whose alt-modes can fly) going down the street.
    • The "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue, including Mr. Robbins (whom Chuck called Professor Bighuge) dying from the results of the Autobots' battle with B.O.T. in the school kitchen and El Presidente flying off in a jetpack while Flipping the Bird to the authorities.
  • "Starscream's Brigade":
    • When Starscream says Megatron made a fool of him, Chuck replies that Starscream did that by himself.
    • Chuck saying he doesn't know what's more confusing: the Combaticons and Starscream recharging at the same time despite only capturing Jazz, Cliffjumper, Thrust, and Dirge (and thus only having four energy absorbers for the Combaticons) or that the unfortunate placement of cables to recharge them looks like "they hooked jumper cables up to their nipples."
  • "Revenge of Bruticus" sees Chuck's impression of a conversation between Megatron and Shockwave about Starscream's banishment, featuring a bored Shockwave playing a crossover puzzle rather than listening to Megatron say he really means it when Starscream is banned this time.
  • In "Dark Awakening", Chuck sums up the general idea most people think Hasbro had concerning bringing Optimus back to life only to kill him again.
    Chuck: Alright kids, we know you cried when Optimus died, so we've brought him back to kill him again! Gaze upon the face of your own mortality, you little shits!

  • After seeing Shikijo's fantasy about hooking up with Suguru, "Jesus fucking Christ, can I please get through a Goddamn anime series without worrying I'm going to jail just for watching it?!"
  • His comments on how much of a creeper Shijiko is.
  • His irritation with Mahoro de Mambo, and how the song won't leave him alone.
    Chuck:' If you didn't watch the last review, let me explain. It's about-(Saasa chotto yotterasshai, Mahoromatikku)-agh.
  • After another one of Shikijo's fantasies, he expresses the belief that anime is going out of its way to confuse him.
  • During the introduction of Management, he creates what is, by his own admission and description, "the world's longest, stupidest tangent not written by Seth MacFarlane." Involving a "Project Project" and an "Operation Operation," during which he rapid-fires off countless homophones without tripping over even one of them.

    Beast Wars 
  • His abject, and completely justified, horror at the character of Tarantulas.
  • His summation of the fight between Terrasaur and Airazor.
    "The shame of it. You {Terrasaur} have just been defeated by someone who isn't even five minutes old. Even Waspinator's going to give some cracks in over that embarrassment."
  • During his explanation of why Waspinator was spared in the Beast Wars season 2 opener, he talks about how Waspinator was eventually inducted into the fan-voted Transformers Hall of Fame. Chuck then proceeds to show the TFHoF tribute video, which consisted almost entirely of clips of Waspinator getting the scrap blasted out of him while The Touch played in the background. The best part are the subtitles saying "Yes, this is the Official Video".
    There is no"I" in team, but there is an "agonyagonyagony".
    • He also complains of how hard it is to get footage of Waspinator not suffering some sort of damage.
  • "Code of Hero":
    • His general exasperation at how useless Quickstrike is. Chuck comments that it's possible to argue that Quickstrike joining the Predacons might not have actually resulted in any tangible gain for them. This comes in full circle when in the review of Code Of Hero, Megatron orders Quickstrike (who has been beaten by Dinobot in single combat twice in an earlier episode) to go face Dinobot after the later has just taken out the entirety of the Predacon forces save Megatron. Quickstrike's incompetence is such that Chuck doesn't even entertain the idea that Megatron's plan is simply to buy time while the real plan gets set in motion.
    Chuck: "(Quickstrike) started at rock bottom and then discovered a sinkhole. He would be out of his depth in a dry lake bed. The only time he is capable of succeeding is when his goal is to fail! Do you get it, Megatron?! Sending Quickstrike against a guy who eliminated most of your forces in minutes is like trying to stop a tank by throwing a hamster at it! The only thing that stops Dinobot from blowing Quickstrike to pieces the moment he shows up is that after all that he's gone through, his energy reserves are depleted. So he has to settle for merely beating Quickstrike into unconsciousness with his bare hands."
  • "The Agenda Part 1":
    • His imagined Gilligan Cut of Ravage and Rattrap hanging out in that bar the latter talked about earlier in the episode, complete with accents.
    Ravage: So I said to him, Starscream more like Starwhining! Ha ha ha ha! (sigh) He's a ghost now.
    Ravage: He's so annoying even killing him couldn't shut him up.

    Paranoia Agent 
  • When Chuck sees the disguise Hirukawa wears when he moonlights as a purse-snatcher, he wonders where and how Hirukawa could get his hands on a track-suit for a fat guy, a bicycle, and a pink hood to use as a mask on such short notice. Cut to the training montage from Punch-Out!!

    Mobile Suit Gundam 
  • From the first compilation movie:
    Chuck: It might just be that [Zeon] are not the bad guys.
    Gihren: Keep this sadness and hatred alive within you! That is what Garma died to show us! If we gather this hatred we share and smash the Federal Forces then true victory will be within our grasp!
    Chuck: Okay that's not exactly, but it could be worse.
    Gihren: We, the superior race shall save mankind! Sieg Zeon!
    Chuck: Yeah, that's worse. You're not coming back from that.
  • From the second compilation movie:
    • Amuro goes AWOL and Fraw Bow goes looking for him:
      Chuck: [Fraw Bow] reason[s] that Amuro would head somewhere where he can get something to eat and so looked at a map for where such place would be. Which is correct, but only because Amuro did wind up here despite his own lack of planning. It is kinda like a detective who catches a criminal, because he reasons that his best option is to go north, only to discover that the criminal thought the "N" was a "Z" and assumed that was the direction to go if he wants to go to sleep.

    Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood 
  • Chuck's understandable skepticism about the brothers' attempt to bring their mom back:
    Chuck: Now that they have the materials and the circle, they decide to use some of their blood for soul data, as they call it. Which is straining things, but I'm not sure what else I could suggest. I've never made a person before. Well, not out of a pile of ingredients, anyway, unless you wanna count rum.
  • This bit following the failed human transmutation:
    Chuck: Things seem like they're at their worst, but things are not always what they seem! [Cue shot of the thing that the brothers brought back] Yes, they're even worse than you thought!
  • His reaction to finding out the leader of the good guys is called the Fuhrer.
    Chuck:...Is it too late to ask if we're the bad guys?
    • It's doubly hilarious if you've seen the show and know that Chuck is pretty close to being right.
  • Chuck dealing with the problems of talking about a Fuhrer in a positive tone, and then when seeing the cheerfulness of Fuhrer King Bradley asks what he did to deserve such a sensitive minefield.
    Chuck: Dear God, tell me what did I do to deserve this? Well, o-okay besides that. Ah, shit you got me there too...

    Code Geass 
  • Episodes 1 & 2
    • After seeing C.C. locked in a metal container and strapped in a straight-jacket, Chuck comes to the conclusion that she is either insanely powerful... or a magician. He procedes to refer to her as a magician for the rest of the review.
    • His thoughts immediately after C.C. mentions a "contract".
    Chuck: Oh, watch out, Lelouch! She's going to turn you into a witch!
  • Episode 3 & 4
    • Suzaku has been framed, and his "trial" is a blatant Kangaroo Court... well, blatant to everyone but Suzaku, anyway, a fact that Chuck finds highly amusing.
    Suzaku: But the courts are where truth comes to light!
    Chuck: The cour-(burst out laughing). Oooh, I admire your courage, making jokes at a time likes this, it's a shame they're gonna kill you.
    • When Lelouch says that he will show the revolutionaries his face and then immediately contradicts himself by clarifying that he meant "his power", Chuck deems him an excellent politician.
    • Claiming that the Zero costume is what'd you get if the Count from Sesame Street held an upper-class sex party.

    Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha 
  • When Nanoha gets freaked out by Yuno the ferret talking to her, in spite of the giant magical monster barreling towards her, Chuck observes that a talking animal should be least of her worries.
    Chuck: I mean, if zombies were about to bust down my door, and my cat tunred to me and said:
    Cat: Chuck, shit's about to go down.
    Chuck: I would probably just nod, and hope he had a plan.
    Cat: I'll trip 'em up, you bash their heads in while they're off balance.
    Chuck: But you can't! It's suicide!
    Cat: There's seven of them, and I got nine lives! It's almost unfair. Let's send 'em back to hell!

    Full Metal Panic! 

  • Chuck growing increasingly exasperated with Debris Section's status as a bottom of the rung department crewed by the most dysfunctional employees ever, to the point that he starts to wonder if the series was requested simply to get this reaction out of him.
    [after Ai's repeated statement that "Debris Section is all the way at the bottom"]:
    Chuck: All right, all right, I get it, yeesh! I haven't felt this crappy since my leaving Channel Awesome was referred to only as "and anyone else I forgot to mention".
    • However, he later admits that if he had an office, it would be exactly like the chaotic Debris Station.

    Gravity Falls 
Season 1, Ep. 1-4
  • Chuck realizing that a "Gobblewonker" (Gravity Falls equivalent of the Loch Ness Monster) sounds a lot like the name of an upperclass British Sex Toy.
    Chuck (As a Posh British Woman): "Clive & I were so naughty! He bought a Gobblewonker and we used it, while he read the Financial Times!".
  • Chuck describing Gideon as "Mini Me"
Season 1, Ep. 5-8
  • Chuck's surprise at how dark the cereal box scene was in "The Inconveniencing" can be seen as funny if taken as an indicator that he really knows very little about the show.
  • Chuck developing a Pulaski-level hatred towards Pacifica Northwest.
    Chuck: Some people... you just can't figure out how they've gone so long without being murdered.
    • His genuine surprise in Double Dipper... is that the fire sprinklers actually work, as he'd expected Stan to just hot glue them to the ceiling to fool his insurance.
  • As much as he liked this set of episode, Chuck declares that the end of episode 6 was definitely wrong: there's no way you can reconcile manliness with silly disco-dancing... cue Macho Man starting up and drowning him out.
Season 1, Ep. 9-12
  • Chuck getting creeped out when he sees that one of the people credited for the storyboards of episode 11 was named Chris Sonnenburg.
Season 1, Ep. 13-17
Season 1, Ep. 18-20

  • When an Air Force Plane, delivering a Rocket is blown up, Chuck jakes that it was due to one of the Pilots thinking that turning the Rocket on would make the Plane go faster.
  • When Parker is shown floating down, using an Umbrella, Chuck notes that all English people can do that.

    Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town 
  • When S. D. Kluger's Van breaks down and he says "Dog Gone Thing...".
    Chuck: Yeah, I say being stranded with no food, in the middle of the arctic, with a broken cab is probably cause for, at least, a "Dog Gone It"! Maybe, even a "Gosh Darn"!
  • Chuck hearing all the Accidental Innuendo in the "First Toy Maker To The King" Song.
  • Chuck realizing that Spider-Man would make a good Santa. Being able to get up on to Roof Tops, able to crawl up and down Chimneys, and his Spider-Sense would ensure no one spots him. Then realizing that would also make J. Jonah Jameson the Spider-Man equivalent to Scrooge.
    • In a case of; Hilarious in Hindsight, J. K. Simmons, who has played J. Jonah Jameson in both Film and Television Shows, would later play Santa, in another Origin Story: Klaus.
  • When Kris first meets Topper the Penguin, Chuck feels, personally, he would have picked a Porg.
    Chuck: Screw the Haters, I love Porgs!
  • Chuck calls out Burgermiester for stealing the melody of the Kringle's Song for his own song.
    Chuck (As Burgermiester): It's a difficult responsibility...
    When Youtube slaps a DMCA Note on me...
  • When Burgermiester declares his feud against toys, Chuck imagines this is how Putn starts every single day!
  • When the Winter Warlock shows he has Magic Feed Corn.
    Chuck (As Jessica): Magic Feed Corn? You're a Winter Warlock!
    Chuck (As Winter): Yeah, I Know. That's why I've never used them. Got them in a raffle, they were trying to raise money for a new Styx Album!
  • When Chuck compares this Special with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, another Rankin/Bass Special. He considers Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town the better of the two, namely cause, unlike Burl Ives, Fred Astaire's Narrator Character does not look like the Grand Father from Troll II!


    Dragon's Lair 
  • Chuck's increasing annoyance at the solutions to the problems faced in the Show.
  • Dirk's Introduction, Chuck notices that when some one comments that nothing he gets for the Princess shall come Close to the present they have her, both Dirk and his Squire looks down at his crotch.
  • Chuck's bafflement at seeing Bearded Ewoks, who keep talking about their "wood".
  • The King, who is portly and has a long beard, dressed in his Red Undergarments, explains that he is suppose to be taking a royal tour of the Kingdom in two days. Chuck asks him if that's when he and his team of flying reindeer deliver presents to all the good girls and boys.

    Dragon Ball Z: History Of Trunks 
  • Chuck openly acknowledging his lack of any conceivable knowledge about DBZ, and the fact that his attempts to understand what was happening only left him more confused. While he manages to piece together the premise of the special well enough, at the end he can't even begin to give his usual analysis and commentary, because he just has no idea what the hell any of what just happens means.

Video Games

    Mass Effect 2 
  • The running gag:
    Chuck: <insert name>... is dead.
  • Then there's this gem:
    Chuck: Don't listen to him, Shepard. I like your teats—they have weight.
  • Mordin's introduction, with an addition by Chuck that fits the character perfectly:
    Shiva Shepard: For the love of God, take a breath!
    Chuck as Mordin: Unnecessary! Replaced lungs with organo-sythetic power-aeration syndrome! Woohoohoohoohoohooh!
  • The jokes about Shiva's stiff hair, particularly when used to headbutt a Krogan.
  • Grunt's Loyalty Mission:
    The shaman approves of this and sends them on a rite to face the hostility of the surface and survive. No problem; Shepard's survived worse, right? She faced a Thresher Maw on foot! It can't be that bad...
    (A Thresher Maw springs out of the ground to attack the team)
  • "The hero of Hanar, the man they call...Thane..."
  • His frequent commentary on Thane's Mr. Fanservice status. "Ladies, did you know that the way of the assassin includes knowing the one true path to the clitoris?"
  • Chuck encounters the Insurmountable Waist-High Fence. "What, that's it? Hey, Threepio, you and Sinéad O'Connor give me a boost, we'll have this thing beat!"
  • Close to the end of the playthrough, Shepard ends up in a relationship with the Drell assassin Thane Krios. However, prior to this Mordin has warned Shepard that oral contact with Drell can cause mild hallucinations; naturally, Shepard ends up kissing Thane during the love scene, and Chuck speculates that she spends the rest of the trip lying on her bed, singing a rock'n'roll version of "The Day The Teddy Bears Have Their Picnic."
  • Over the course of the final mission, because of a deliberate bad playthrough, Shepard's team is almost wiped out: Jack, Kasumi and Thane are killed on the approach to the Collector base; Jacob gets a missile to the face while trying to shut the doors (leading to Chuck to joke about Shiva treading on one of his eyeballs); the crew of the Normandy are all liquefied; Samara ends up getting dragged away by a Seeker Swarm because Miranda stuffed up their defence; Grunt is killed while leading the second team; Zaeed and Miranda are both crushed by falling rubble while taking down the final boss; finally, Legion is shot dead while trying to hold the line. Apart from Shepard, Joker and EDI, the only survivors of the mission are Garrus, Tali, and Mordin. For a moment, it looks as though Chuck is going to run with the Bittersweet Ending with Shepard mourning over the coffins of her dead comrades. And then...
    "So, there we are: nine out of twelve... are dead; Shiva Shepard once again stands in a whirlwind of death, and... ah hell, this is too much. Let's back up the truck, everybody. (Cut to the Golden Ending) There, Everybody Lives! That's more like it."
  • This becomes even more hilarious with a bit of future knowledge: Tali and Mordin are highly likely to die at the end of their Mass Effect 3 plotlines, exacerbating the "whirlwind of death" that Shiva Shepard finds herself in.
  • The suicide mission itself is full of these, including the scene with Grunt's death, which happens right after Miranda's failure gets Samara killed.
    Chuck: (*Beat*) I still blame you for this, Miranda.
    • He's run out of almost everyone by the end of the suicide mission; he takes Zaeed and Miranda with him to the final boss fight, leaving Legion, Tali and Mordin to defend their rear. "Good luck, engineers!" He later refers to their backup as his "army of nerds" and how they are naturally getting their asses kicked by the Collectors.
  • All the jokes about the bugs in the game.
    Chuck: Some of the Eclipse mercs shoot down the skycar, but there is one thing they didn't plan on...Shepard summoning a ninja ghost.
    (Renegade interrupt without Shepard's character)
    Salarian Merc: Ninja ghost is unstoppable!
  • Part 5 of his Mass Effect review begins with him mentioning Fred Sabarhagen's Berserker series, and the anti-Berserker Berserker ship called the Qwib-Qwib. "Boy, someone sure would have to be a tool to have a ship named the Qwib-qwib!" At the end of the episode we meet the quarian politician who lives on and is named after a ship called the Qwib-qwib.

    Knights of the Old Republic 
  • The main character being The Chew Toy, starting when he woke up while drunk during the attack on the Spire, being constantly harassed and send on ridiculous fetch-quests by random, more or less crazy people, and of course, when he came to after Carth peeled his sorry ass out of the destroyed escape pod, all he could remember was Pink Elephants On Parade. Becomes even more hilarious given who this kicked dog of fate actually is. How the mighty have truly fallen.
  • This Brick Joke. Earlier in the review, Chuck mentioned Dancing Han Solo. Later on, he posits a hypothetical Opening Scroll for it, ie an Intercontinuity Crossover with Footloose.
    Emperor Palpatine: Now young Skywalker, you will...jive. (starts dancing)
  • Chuck taking repeated potshots at the unique command skills Darth Malak possesses.
    Chuck: Carth says [Admiral Saul's] leadership is about half the reason Malak's been doing so well in the war, which I personally don't agree with. He's probably closer to "all", because Malak's a doofus.
  • Chuck naming the main character "Traven Rhad" and claiming that he's named after an old PE teacher.
  • His opinion of the group after listening to Mission and Carth argue.
    Chuck: I would join the Sith, but, if they can't catch a group that sucks as much as we do they must be even worse.
  • Everything to do with Manaan. From not buying the side he's supporting in Sunry's trial, to playing Under the Sea over the obscenely slow underwater session to the Disaster Dominoes when he chooses the smart option and kills a giant shark...which the native Selkath genuinely believe to be sacred. Being banned from Manaan is a sentence treated with such joy that he takes a vacation on Kasyhyyk...and is interrupted by Sith.
    • The fact that the man hiding in a locker rambling about fishy people is literally the most helpful person on the level.
    • And the worst horror of all...Neelix. Okay, technically it's just the same actor, but Chuck's still pretty shocked.
  • The utter hilarity of Malak using only droids to attack a guy with a force skill labled, "Destroy Droid."
    Malak: Did my droids pass my test? Did they destroy our enemies?
    Chuck as Lackey: Oh, boy, how do I put this? Um... No, no they failed embarrassingly. They died cursing your name and the day they were created, master.
  • The bit with Saul threatening to hurt someone Traven cares about.

    Dragon Age: Origins 
  • Right from the very description: Can our hero fight both the Darkspawn and a treacherous ruler while still finding time to screw Claudia Black? Trick question, you make the time!
  • Since Chuck hopes for his character to become Head Enchanter, he thus names him Tim
  • His reaction when he realizes the Templars' test to prevent demonic tempting of mages involved...dealing peaceably with two demons.
  • Celebrating the player's newfound freedom... with a Hard-Work Montage of Tim running around doing errands for the villagers, set to Small Town by John Mellencamp.
  • Not shown in the reviews, but in the Dragon Age review Chuck tells a story of when he needed to sneak past someone. Instead, he hit the wrong button and kicked him in the balls.
  • "A dwarf without a beard is, well, dopey." (After seeing how odd beardless dwarves look in the game)
  • In a Call-Back to KOTOR, Chuck jokes that Tim's first Archdemon-related nightmare is really about him being surrounded by angry fish bitching at him for killing their sacred shark.
  • Trying to negotiate with the drunk, bereaved blacksmith in Redcliffe:
    Blacksmith: I don't care what happens to me, or the village, or anyone!
    Tim: Yeah, figured as much. Might as well amuse ourselves. Hey, Morrigan, I'll give you ten silvers to turn into a Giant Spider, let's see what the drunk does.
  • When Leliana stops the Warden from killing an assassin, Chuck awkwardly points out that, thanks to the skills of the party, they aren't very good at anything else involving enemies.
    Chuck: Well, take a look at this list here (opens party screen). On the left we have murderer (Oghren), murderer (Leliana), accomplice to murder (Morrigan), mass murderer (Sten). On the other side, we have murderer (Shale) and murders for a living (Zevran). Only three of these people aren't one, and one of them is a dog. One who will kill anyone I tell it to do, to tell you the truth.
  • Upon discovering the cause of Arl Eamon's poisoning is due to Jowan getting homesick and desperate, Chuck launches into "The Reason You Suck" Speech of epic proportions.
    Chuck: WHAT!? ARE YOU—...DID—...I— Leaving aside the fact that you are a Blood Mage — which is why you were going to be made Tranquil in the first place — you stage an elaborate heist to destroy your phylactery, get your girlfriend sentenced to a nightmare prison, get me in so much trouble with the Templars that I joined a band of guys psychically linked with an Archdemon. Now you're telling me, before I managed to walk to Ostagar, you already agreed to murder a man... because you were homesick. How Jowan? How can one man contain so much pathetic within his form!? You are like some sort of Fail elemental! The fact you're even still alive proves that God has a sense of morbid curiosity! You are such an embarrassment, that if your pants fell off and made you fall down the stairs, your dignity would actually increase! By God, you could fuck up a sieve!
    • The time comes for Jowan to be tried for his crime of royally fucking up Redcliffe beyond belief. The lord asks the Grey Warden for any input before sentencing.
      Chuck: My lord, Jowan's just too much of an idiot to be evil!
      Arl Eamon: You damn him with faint praise. Then there is nothing more to be said. Jowan, I hereby sentence you to death. May the Maker show you the mercy we cannot.
      Chuck: Harsh but fair. (sighs) I will prepare the bee swarm, my lord, to carry out your sentence.
    • Oh, so that's where Sera got the idea from!
  • Celebrating Connor's exorcism with a Good-Times Montage set to Sunshine and Lollipops, featuring Tim being thanked by just about everyone who benefitted from the mission to Redcliff: the bartender, Connor, the blacksmith, Alistair... and then the music cuts out as Bodahn reveals that the Darkspawn have just attacked Lothering and killed or captured everyone unlucky enough to still be there. And then the music blares to life again.
    Bodahn: Can I interest you in this hat?
  • Yet another montage, this time of Tim's exploration of the Deep Roads and set to Men At Work's "Down Under" - apparently because Oghren wouldn't let him use the "Hi Ho" song. Best of all, the lyrics are perfectly aligned with the encounters that occur.
  • Chuck's actions in the "Lost to the Curse" quest, wherein you Mercy Kill an elf's wife who has become a werewolf and Chuck, in a moment of inattentiveness, accidentally skins her. That would qualify as a Funny Moment right there, except for, at the end of the video, Tim loses the quest item he was supposed to get for her husband, and decides to play off his wife's own pelt as a fur coat she handcrafted for him. Well, she did put a lot of herself into it...
    • I'll have you know Chuck has utmost respect for the elves and their Keebler— KEEPER!
    • Describing the conflict between the Werewolves and the Elves as "Team Jacob vs Team Link."
    • Chuck's annoyance over some of the more arrogant Elves met at the Dalish Camp. This ultimately concludes with him briefly diverting to Dragon Age II, in which Fenris's inability to shut up about hating mages got so grating that Chuck decided to enslave someone just to piss Fenris off.
  • He roleplays Tim the Enchanter as a blaster-caster that could make Vaarsuvius blush, constantly finding new ways to kill people with magic in increasingly hilarious ways, and then reanimate the corpses to fight as horrible skeleton warriors. Since this is Dragon Age, this of course means he uses Corpse Explosion a lot and the character is often covered in blood.
    Blowing people up is satisfying, but... sometimes you just want more. So, I've developed an attack I call "The Nicolas Cage Cage": I surround my enemy with angry bees, leaving them trapped in a stinging galaxy while I pelt them with magic.
    • He later names another attack "The Insult and Injury". First, he covers the ground in grease, causing the enemy to slip and fall (the Insult), then he ignites said grease with a well placed fireball (the Injury).
    • Tim's status-buffs are also constantly on, resulting in him looking ridiculous when out of combat and talking to people. It also results a Running Gag in which every other NPC ends up asking Tim what that mysterious floating orb over his head is, or why Wynne is constantly flaking, or why Tim is completely transparent.
      • Chuck asking if flaking breadcrumbs is a symptom of menopause that no one told him about.
    • A good response to one of the "what's that thing over your head" questions: "It wards off annoying people; obviously, it's not working."
    • Having been made transparent and multi-coloured by Tim's Arcane Warrior abilities, he follows up a truly awesome Badass Boast to Loghain with a remark of "That probably would have been more effective if I didn't look like a blurry recording of a Vegas stage show."
      • He makes a similar speech to Loghain about how he'll make sure he lives to clean up his mess- only to start crying to himself once he walks away.
    • The culmination occurs during the ritual with Morrigan, in which Tim is transparent, shedding particles, and on fire.
  • While Chuck is complaining about the puzzle in Honnleath, Tim accidentally lights himself on fire and is very vocal about it. While Chuck is still talking.
  • At one point he threatens an NPC with letting Sten do a comedy bit.
    Sten: A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why do you have a long face?'. The horse says nothing, because horses do not talk. The bartender is a fool. Remember to tip your waitresses.
  • His argument to Alistair on why he won't kill Loghain:
    Alistair: Kill him already!
    Chuck: No. No, I won't. I've killed my way from one side of this country to the other, and what has it gotten me, huh? A collection of loyal followers, my own army, the respect of leaders, bags of gold, and sex with a hot witch. (*Beat*) Okay, that was a bad argument, I want a do-over.
  • After seeing Wynne kick ass:
    Alistair: I thought you said all the best mages had beards?
    Tim: They do — you just can't see her's.
  • After telling Loghain he'll make sure he survives the coming battle so that he can clean up the mess he made of Ferelden, Tim walks out of the room... and begins whimpering about how he doesn't want to die.
    Morrigan: Did I scare you?
    Tim: (whimper) No... (Ahem) I mean... Not at all.
  • When Leliana's old Orlesian mistress complains about Ferelden smelling of wet dog, Tim does note that, now that she mentions it, he does smell a bitch.
  • Chuck taking advantage of who Flemeth's voice actress is.
    Flemeth: Elves, dwarves, this 'Arl Eamon'... This sounds like an army. (Crazy!Janeway voice) And I want in.

    System Shock 2 
  • Half of the review is essentially Freeman's Mind: System Shock 2 Edition. Highlights include:
    • Goggles misinterpreting the "Jam" indicator over a jammed shotgun to mean that it's jam powered.
    • Goggles remembering that his name is actually "Goggles", but even he doesn't buy it.
      • Even though his mom is named "Boot", his dad is named "Thingy", and his best friend is named "Spoons".
    • Goggles reacting to being killed by a monkey, continuously.
    • Goggles pointing out the Skewed Priorities of the Von Braun's security system.
      Chuck as Goggles: The Von Braun is the only ship I know where the security is both ridiculously tight and ridiculously awful. [...] The Computer is so easy to hack that it practically has a dip switch in order to turn it to evil, but [in the biopsy section] it's like "Tissue samples, you know I don't think a camera's good enough for that, we need a turret because otherwise the terrorists might win".
      • He has a similar rant earlier about the general state of the ship (the shoddy construction, the hackability of the computer, and the fact that vivisections are used as a form of entertainment for the crew) framed as a pitch to some big wig:
        Chuck: I'll tell you what I think: I'm not made of money! Just put in every other rivet. That way, I can afford my mansion made of rare animal pelts.
    • Goggles asks Polito to lay off the thudding techno track of doom. So, the next time he goes to encounter danger, he ends up killing annelids... while Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles" plays.
  • "Alarms go off and they send in the monkeys. What is this, the Wicked Witch of the West?"
  • Chuck roleplays Goggles as a clueless dumbass; he's got a high Hack skill but never uses it, is a psychic but spends too much time drinking booze to have any Psi points to use his mental powers for attack, and thinks the ship was built on an Indian Burial Ground.
    Chuck as Goggles: (whacks Camera with a wrench) *Whack* There! *whack* It's hacked. (camera breaks)
  • "What were they dabbling on in this ship and can somebody please un-dabble it?"
  • Goggles Declaring "Screw engineering! I have psychic powers!" While beating on a turret with a wrench.
  • Goggles mocks Bronson as a self-important mall cop who's licensed to kill. Upon hearing the audio log where she guns down Malik, he says, "He was smoking WEED behind Sbarros!"
  • Goggles' massive burst of angrish after being ambushed by a cyborg ninja and a group of spiders right after stepping out of an elevator.
  • Goggles laments the death of Delacroix as the loss of the most brilliant engineer in human history. "Also I really wanted to have sex with her."
  • Goggles tries to recharge his implants off a charged power cell he was carrying around in his inventory. When this fails, he angrily dumps the power cell on the ground, complaining about how long it was cluttering up his limited inventory space for no reason. Two minutes later, this happens:
    Chuck as Goggles: (sees an energy recharge station) Oh, good, I can get charged up! Unlike that crap battery. Now I just have to set up this... *sees that the objective requires a charged power cell to complete* Just need to plug in a...Son of a—! *backtracks to retrieve the power cell, Cluster F-Bombing the whole way there and back*
  • Borrowing a page from Airplane!, it looks like Goggles picked the wrong week to quit drinking. And the wrong week to quit smoking. And the wrong week to stop abusing painkillers. And the wrong week to avoid holographic robo-sex.
  • Chuck Goggles sees the robot sex club and says, "Wow, I REALLY don't remember this. Wish that I had, this is seriously going to impact my Yelp review of this mall."
  • When Chuck Goggles finds a body surrounded by bottles, he notes that this probably how he'll die, like his father before him... who died in a botched Human Cannonball act and crashed into a concession stand.
  • His reaction to the fact that the 'three red friends' he's after are ninjas.
    Chuck as Goggles: First spiders, now ninjas?! Unless there are sharks walking around somewhere, this literally could not get any worse! Ninja wear black, to hide in the shadows. A ninja who wears red has given up all pretense! 'I could kill you so easily, screw hiding, I'll freaking advertise. For I am the ninja who could not give a shit!'
  • During a mission where he has to set up a bomb to blow up a shuttle carrying annelid eggs, he boasts about how SHODAN should be treating him with more respect... right as he slips off the ladder and gets caught in the blast radius.
    Chuck as Goggles: (After being told to make his way to the Rickenbacher) What's that about Orville Redenbacher? Sure, I'll have some, and I'll have two tacos, and a tall cup of help.
  • At the very start of the game, after Chuck Googles fails to move a piece of debris from the only exit, he whacks it with a wrench, shattering it completely in one hit. His reaction? Wondering if the ship is made of lead.
  • After finding not one, but two monkeys that died from something other than his own hand, Goggles, can only come to one conclusion: someone on this ship IS A MURDERER... you know, besides all the other murders.note 
    Chuck as Goggles: Now, if I remember my training-which of course, I don't-I should be looking out for any suspicious activity, like bodies stuffed into the walls or ceiling. (walks past body dangling from vent in ceilling) Yes, like that.
  • Goggles saying that the growth covering the ship 'looks like Cthulhu sneezed all over', and later comparing it to the time he and Spoons fed a goat a grenade.
  • When Goggles wonders why he doesn't have any Audio logs, only to apparently remember embarrassing, with his only defence being that it was funny at the time.
  • During his analysis of "The Body of the Many" level, after talking about how one of the developers brought pictures from his colonoscopy for refrence material, Chuck notes that they may need to change cereals if they've got spiders up their butt.

    The Old Republic 

Imperial Agent

  • For his character's species he chooses Miraluka, a species that are aware of their surroundings through the force but cannot actually see. He wastes no time pointing out that his character likes to wear an eye-catching yellow and shocking pink ensemble, does not know his own ethnicity, and chooses for his advanced class sniper.
    • As a bonus, an enemy at one point plans to take his hands and eyes to get past biometric scans.
    Chuck: What eyes, you hulking asthmatic? What do you think this thingnote  on my face is doing, stopping me from shooting you with my optic blast?
    • And his character's name? Rex-Dart, Eskimo spy for the Empire.
    • Even better, Rex's backstory is that he's hiding from Sith who would want to draft an inherently Force-sensitive race into their ranks no matter how unwilling...and as soon as he meets his full retinue, it turns out everyone already guessed he was an alien.
      • It gets to the point that when a drunken strumpet makes him, he wonders if someone wrote 'alien' on him... and of course, he can't tell.
    • Similarly, his efforts to prevent himself from being press-ganged into the Sith order and being sent to Korriban are rewarded with his first flight destination after leaving Dromund Kaas. The name of this destination? Korriban.
    • More fun with Rex's blindness comes on Alderaan when a glitch during a cutscene causes Kaliyo to turn invisible (with her weapons floating in midair).
      "Now would you please tell Kaliyo that I'm not buying that she turned invisible, okay? I've had enough of her pranks."
  • Chuck mirroring Keeper's own frustration with the Sith, particularly when one tags along on the Black Talon instance and keeps on overriding his own Light-Sided sensible actions with her own trigger-happy nature. A player Sith.
  • He tries to pass himself off during his confrontation with Darth Jadus as an absolute total badass... only to break that when Watcher Two chimes in.
  • Chuck says he doesn't like killing - except when it's Sand People. Not because he hates Sand People, but because each one makes a sound like a broken saxophone when they die. "It's like with every shot, I'm slowly killing jazz."
  • His frustrated assessment of his work helping Kaliyo deal with all of the people she screwed over.
    Chuck: I'm supposed to be stopping a galactic conspiracy, but somehow I've turned into Scott Fucking Pilgrim.
  • His voice slowly getting faster, concluding in Motor Mouth over the second massacre plan.
  • When complaining about the multiplayer aspect of the game, Chuck preemptively shuts down the comment that he should just socialize more but addressing an open letter to the reasons why he hasn't. He apparently believes them to be Humanoid Abominations.
  • His response to the revelation of Dr. Eckhard's condition.
    Chuck: "Yep while the Nikto and Jedi whack left the guy alone, this old man's got Rak syndrome. Screw you; I stand by that sentence.
    • If you don't get it read that first sentence to the tune of "This Old Man".
  • Calling the rogue padawan on Taris Darth Ritalin.
  • When a padawan tries to pull a You Shall Not Pass!:
  • His final Badass Boast to Hunter, after the music chosen for the preceding Roaring Rampage of Revenge;
    Chuck: Prepare to be Garfunkelled!
  • During part 3, Chuck becomes convinced that another player is stalking him just because they happened to be both on Nar Shaddaa and at the same terminal on Tatooine right when he arrived.
    • Later, when his vehicle despawns, he's convinced he was sabotaged by said player.
  • When Lord Razer takes over and Chuck takes the time to point out his Punny Name,note  he then notes how he is using a Razor mouse, calling it a useful tool... unlike Lord Razer, where he'd be half right.
  • This series is different from the other TOR class series in that this time, Chuck takes time out each episode to complain about something he hates about the game. The third episode features bugs, specifically the infamous KotFE bug that removed all Companions' pants. Cue a montage of Chuck summoning up assoreted companions, who usually pop in with a line that can be taken rather differently in the context of them having no pants, set to "I Touch Myself."

Sith Inquisitor

  • After getting a droid that works for Winter in part 2, his character, in Sith Inquisitor, Chuck proceeds to sing about looking forward to electrocuting it for getting the furniture arrangement wrong (which Winter didn't even tell the droid).
  • When a characters asks Winter to promised she won't hurt a friend, Chuck says that's so ridiculous he has to laugh, and gives a fake laugh that turns into an evil one. Then he promises that the guy's as safe as all of their men, while fight noises can be hear in the background.
  • 'I plan to challenge a guy who answers to the dark council using my personal army of ghosts. Hah, and people say I'm crazy.'
  • Chuck describing the reasons Telos would make a good partner include him lining up for a movie he doesn't want to see an hour ahead of time, finding things to discuss about it afterwards, and making love using techniques in an ancient sex temple with a rose in his mouth while reciting poems in a dead language.

Sith Warrior

  • In Sith Warrior, the various fat jokes made at Darth Baras' expense. For example:
    Darth Baras: I am beside myself.
    Chuck: Really? I didn't think there would be room.
  • Ripley's response to being mistaken for a 'savage'
    Ripley: Savage? I ought to club him and eat his face.
  • Ripley does not like Darth Baras' plans.
    • Getting told to plant a bomb, then Quinn will detonate, leads to the obvious question of why she doesn't have the detonator, or if this is all an elaborate ruse to get some work out of her before killing her. Once she's planted the bomb and Quinn confirms he'll detonate once she's reached a safe distance, her reply is "Of course, never doubted you for a moment."
    • But before that can happen, Baras has an amedment to her mission. Ripley questions why right now is the best time for this, in the middle of enemy stronghold Baras himself described as a deathtrap, next to a bomb someone else is holding the detonator for, and why she can't take a quick hike outside and have this briefing in peace and relative safety.
      Fine, Vette, go man a turret or something to watch that door because, apparently, now's the time for our daily meeting. Can we skip the reading of the minutes and get straight on to the heart of this topic?
  • He speculates in-character about how much the Republic must suck that they're barely holding their own in the war when the Imperials spend most of the their time killing each other, and the last Imperial he met actually killed himself out of spite. How bad do you have to be not to immediately win even though the other side showed up to battle in a clown car?
  • The fact that he's RPing the Sith Warrior as the murder equivalent of a recovering alcoholic, to the point where, after killing a bunch of guys, she feels the need to call her sponsor, who insists she write a list of all the people she's killed-which, given that this is happening after a big fight, is gonna be pretty long.
    • By part 5 she's starting to have problems because nobody in group believes her about the sheer number of people who attack her for no reason when she tries for a peaceful solution. Especially the Jedi who attack her because she tried to be reasonable and it offended them.
  • After referring to Jaesa's mystical abilities as a "third eye", he feels the need to clarify that it wasn't meant as an anti-Gran slur "no matter what those protesters say".
  • Getting fed up with someone who speaks in Ice Cream Koans, Ripley drops a few stock ones of her own, culminating with:
    Any sufficiently advanced platitude is indistingushiable from bullshit!
  • Ripley's explaining a plan:
    Imperial Officer: Why do you attack the Empire's men?
    Ripley: Well, it's perfectly simple. The Jedi have a Jedi who's pretended to be a Sith but was really a Jedi and had learned that my Sith master was planting Imperials in the ranks of the Republic, and so the Jedi told the Jedi that he had a NEW Jedi who could find out if a Republic soldier was an Imperial soldier pretending to be a Republic soldier and wanted to use the Jedi to prove that the Sith were spying, so we need to kill our Imperial spies to ensure that the Jedi don't know that they're Imperial spies, so to do that I have to undermine the authority of the Sith, that is, the Sith who is protecting the Imperial spy so I need to subvert the Empire's commander in order to kill the Empire's spy, so I'll be killing the Imperial soldiers in order to draw out the Empire's commander to kill him so that I can kill the Empire's spy, which I'll do no matter how many of the Empire's soldiers I must kill, because I'm trying to protect the Empire here! ...any other stupid questions?
  • After every Jedi she'd encountered so far turned out to be a pompous hypocrite that attacked her out of spite, meeting one that actually lives up to their reputation and treats her fairly throws her off her groove.
  • His reactions to Servant Two's Cryptic Conversation lines every time the Emperor's Hand talks, leading up to:
    Angela Ripley: I have docked at the Voss space station.
    Servant Two: Darkness...that silences...await.
    Servant One: Voss is a strange world.
    Chuck: You hang around with this guy all day and you call Voss strange? ...I'm not sure I want to go down there.
  • At the end, Ripley debates whether there's another way to deal with Baras besides killing him, and if she really wants to be bad...
    Angela Ripley: Nah.
    stabs him in the chest and walks out while Michael Jackson's Bad plays in the background

Bounty Hunter

  • The recording glitched out for the first section, so Chuck re-recorded it with a different character named The Understudy. This turned into a running joke during that segment, like a run in Hamilton (he made a fantastic Aaron Burr) and Chuck complaining about him looking the wrong way in a cutscene.
  • Explaining to Mako what it takes to be a Bounty Hunter, and that there's a lot more to it than just shooting people in the face.
    Rose: You have to be one part Sherlock Holmes, two parts Terminator, and one part Antonio Banderas in any movie, because you need to have the sex appeal to round it out.
  • Chuck's hunter desperately wants the mystique that comes with I Work Alone, and so is constantly annoyed that Mako insists on tagging along. He keeps trying to talk her into taking a Voice with an Internet Connection role instead (which she'd obviously excell at), but she's not interested. He later makes her read his old college textbooks because he was afraid his constantly having to correct her was coming off as mansplaining.
  • Lone Rose is a Cathar, so despite a claim that he's trying to limit them the cat puns fly free. In one case he gets offended at a female Cathar deliberately playing up the "submissive horny Cat Girl" cliche and tells her to "dial down the Uncle Tomcat routine, you're embarassing us both."
  • Speaking of, that Cathar is the. . . ahem. . . companion of an Imperial officer who has hired the Lone Rose to affect Klingon Promotion.
    Rose: Well, given the stakes, this guy is going to be getting my Platinum Treatment. I will not treat him like the idiot that he is.
  • Gault's. . . predictable reaction to finding himself with Lone Rose in an Alderaanian museum:
    Gault: Jackpot! How good are you at shooting with your hands full?
    Rose: Ugh. C'mon, Gault, we're not going to scoop up an armful of valuable artifacts and go running out of the museum with them. Obviously they have a trolley around here somewhere we can use.
  • During the Taris story mission, as Rose disables a Rakghoul attractor, Torian, quite unexpectedly, dies. Chuck is somewhat at a loss, since this is not supposed to happen. Torian is not only a BH Companion, but a key player in the KotFE expansion. Chuck muses that attempting to complete a bounty contract has potentially ended up unraveling the space-time continuum. Then, Torian pops up perfectly fine in the next cutscene.
    Torian: But the (something Mandalorian thingy) gives us an opening.
    Rose: I was thinking the same thing. No, wait, I was thinking 'why the fuck are you standing here talking when you were dead? I mean, I looted your corpse for crying out loud!'
  • It's absolutely in-character for Rose to keep Gault as his active companion, reasoning that it's better to keep a close eye on him rather than leave him on the ship to get into who-knows-what kind of trouble. But it also gives Chuck someone to engage in Snark-to-Snark Combat.
    (Rose is sniped and goes down, Gault rushes over)
    Gault: Holy— Hey, hey! If you want me to steal your ship and run, then just lie still and don't move.
    Rose: (getting to his feet) Your loyalty is touching. Help me up or I'm taking your remaining horn and doing something creative with it.
  • Blizz contacts Rose, stating that his using the communications equipment of the Chiss who were holding him captive. But it wasn't working right, so he fixed it and it's all fine now, so he could place this call. Rose muses that Blizz really doesn't get the whole concept of being a prisoner.
  • More philosophy from the Lone Rose:
    I like to think infamy is just fame that hasn't combed its hair.
  • The Lone Rose demonstrates the ability to go from bravado to indignation in the blink of an eye when he's volunteered to undertake a ritual on Voss to gain credibility against the Republic. The opposing Republic general states that she's spent months preparing the Trials will kill Rose. He blusters as the general leaves, then turns on the Imperial ambassador the instant she's out of earshot.
    Rose: Yeah, I'm sure, I am so scared of what you're what the fuck did you set me up for you stupid asshole?!?!?

    Anna's Quest 
  • Chuck lists a long list of reasons on why he can't review one of the Hyperdimension Neptunia games. Actually sounds more frustrating then flooding.
  • Chuck's bemused reaction to realizing Anna was able to trick a troll prison guard into leaving her having Reynard fake a union meeting in the next room. He ends up giving aspiring Evil Overlords tips on making one's minions even more miserable so they don't consider forming a disobedient union.
  • Him trying to figure out what the Hell the three bears were doing in Hell.

    Wing Commander III 
  • The various jokes surrounding the Behemoth:
    • When Tolwyn introduces the aforementioned weapon Chuck gives us this gem:
      Tolwyn: We would've liked another year or two for testing and development.
      Chuck (as Tolwyn): And to make it look more like a giant penis, of course.
    • Followed in Part 2 by this gem:
      Blair: We're headed to Kilrah with that thing, aren't we?
      Tolwyn: Well, what would you aim for if you had the biggest gun in the universe?
      Chuck: Kanye West's house, but, hey, that's just me.
  • Chuck quickly establishes Eisen's status with the introduction of his "Pimp cane".
  • Eisen doesn't like Colonel Blair.
    Eisen: I wish they wouldn't send me these academy hotshots.
    Chuck (as Eisen): They're almost as bad as that insufferable Colonel Blair!
    Chuck (as Blair): I'm right here, sir.
    Chuck (as Eisen): I know.

    Dragon Age: Awakening 
  • Tim in-character claims Anders is a famous sex maniac with so many STDs that the only reason he's still standing is because they're kept busy fighting amongst themselves.
  • Tim is completely disgusted to be stuck with Oghren again. Apparently the last time they met Oghren got drunk and crawled under the robe of the Grand Cleric, leading to Tim having to bail him out of jail.
  • Tim's animation glitches in an early cutscene so that he's holding his arms apart all the time. Cue asking random people for hugs, stories about a "fish this big", etc.
  • Tim declares himself Emperor of Amarathine. When he runs into an NPC voiced by Natasha Little (who also voiced the Sith Warrior) he instantly declares her the Emperor's Wrath, even though she's an accountant.
  • A Running Gag is Tim constantly fretting that him banging Morrigan in the main game is the reason the Darkspawn are acting so weird. An admittedly disturbing idea, yes, but it's his execution that brings it back around.
  • In part two, Tim is flabbergasted at how incompetent the guards are. From the first guard they meet asking to search Tim for smuggled goods despite the fact that he's a) captain of the Grey Wardens and b) the guy who saved Ferelden from a Blight, to the quest giver not doing anything when Tim chases a suspect right in front of him.
    Guard: Excuse me, but I need to search your packs for smuggled goods.
    Tim: Dah... WHAT?! Do I look like a smuggler to you? No, no, really? Really!? Please think about this for a just a minute. In my effort to be inconspicuous while sneaking goods in, I turn myself translucent! That will not draw any attention, will it!? What an uncourteous abuse of privacy! Boy, I'm going to take this to the Lord. Oh, wait! That's me! My god, man! You are a moron on so many levels I have to invent new dimensions just to represent it!

    Constable Aidan: I apologize. Smugglers and thieves have all but taken over the city.
    Tim: Yeah, I can't imagine how they are outsmarting your guards. With this collection of Mensa-members, they'd got to be super-geniuses to figure out a way past them! Or, perhaps, just tapping them on the shoulder and rushing in while the guard turns the other way and stands looking in that direction for ten minutes, wondering how they could be tapped by an invisible man!
    Constable Aidan: With trade slowed to a crawl, smugglers have moved in, selling goods at exorbitant prizes! If we could shut down their operation and seize their supplies, we could distribute it to the needy.
    Tim: And maybe you could end this farce that you call "security". Jeez! It figures that if I'm in charge or a police state, the Keystone cops are the ones running it.
    • It continues in part five, when Tim asks the Dark Wolf if he is interested in a position as the local Captain of the Guard, seeing how he is the only competent person outside of his inner circle he has met so far.
    • And later, Tim finally loses his patience with Constable Aidan, when he response to Tim's declaration that he will stay and fight to protect Amaranthine is to wish him "good luck", indicating that he will not personally be joining the battle.
      Tim: What do you mean, "good luck to you"!?! Do you think I pay you to be a doughnut-critic, you fucking coward?! Grow a dick, take out your sword, and get in formation, or I'll cover you in steak-sauce and throw you over that wall!
      • Tim even remarks after the battle for Amaranthine that the Darkspawn Messenger would make a better constable than Aidan.
  • Tim's solution to Shrieks turning invisible, setting everything on fire.
    Tim: Admittedly this plan does have it's flaws but I think that it's balanced out by the fact that I get to light things on fire.
  • Tim talks Anders into abandoning his pro-Chantry position. This can't possibly end badly!
  • Chuck lost most of the footage for the forest level, so he has Oghren try to cover for him while he patches something together.
    • In the level he comes across Ines, a mage that Wynn sent him to find to be a voice of reason. Previously he had been pretty strongly pro-independence from the Chantry. A few minutes with her is enough to get him seeing the Chantry's point of view.
  • Showing a clip of all his companions running into a massive fireball while Tim yells at them to get out of there, ending with him commenting that he's surprised they beat the blight when 'we're all such morons.
  • Describing Velanna as making the Bolshevik revolution look like a strongly worded bumper sticker.
  • Getting truly fed up with the shenanigans around Blackmarsh:
    • When a demon lures the party into its lair:
      Velanna: Not again? You have a knack for stumbling into traps, don't you?
      Tim: Yep. "Falling into traps and being surrounded by assholes." When they finally write my biography, that's the blurb right there.
      Demon: To think, my entire existence I have sought a mortal mage to possess, and now one walks right into my lair!
      Tim: Do you mind?!? Velanna and I were having a conversation, here, I'll get to you when I get to you, alright? I don't need this! This is a bad day, even by the low standards I've come to set for myself, alright? So if you think you're going to possessing anything, trust me, it'll just be my foot after I shove it up your ass!
      Demon: Mmm, you do outnumber me now, it's true. Clearly you mortals are not frail. Very well. Let the Baroness have you. I shall feed on whatever remains! (walks away)
      Tim: Yeah, you can feed on this right here, stupid (trails off incoherently)
    • A mortal guard trapped in the Fade with them challenges them, asking who enters the Black Marsh:
      Tim: Why I am Lord Happy Pants and these are the Knights of the Order of Get the Fuck Out of Our Way.
  • He makes a joke about Nathaniel Howe's sister marrying a Mr. Browne, then shows the newspaper headline showing the announcement. 'Howe now, Browne cow.
  • In the finale, thanks to a Stupidity Is the Only Option moment in the game, the guards have completely ignored his orders to collapse the smuggler tunnels which has allowed the Darkspawn to take the city easily. Tim is so angry he offers the job of guard captain to the Darkspawn (The Messenger) who just happens to be standing there on the grounds that it would probably be an improvement.
  • The reason Tim went to Amgarrak? Poor bastard got conned into thinking there would be some epic loot.
  • During a mission where Tim has to seal portals to The Fade, Chuck comments how dumb it would be if this were a major gameplay element.
  • Tim deciding to simply be referred to as 'The Lord', on the grounds that 'Lord Tim' doesn't sound as awesome.
  • Tim completing the dragon bone quest to the tune of The Bone Song, including the dragon boss fight.

    Dragon Age II 
  • A meta one: Chuck played the game on X-Box so that he could import Tim's save file, but thanks to a bug (possibly from playing Witch Hunt out of order) the import glitched and the game decided Tim sacrificed himself in the first game. Cue Chuck angrily arguing with the game whenever it comes up. The game then became so unstable that he had to pause the series after Act 1, instead opting to switch over to the PC version. The PC version was only barely more stable, and definitely not because it was a pirated copy.
  • In Varric's first scene in the framing device, Chuck claims he's being dragged into EA headquarters for buying a FIFA game used.
    • In the same scene, Chuck fails to be very impressed by Cassandra's attempts at intimidating Varric, as they doesn't go very much beyond Poke the Poodle:
      Chuck: Ah, nothing shows your badass credentials like stabbing a book. Perhaps for an encore, you can push over an urn.
  • Chuck saying mages and Templars get along like a house on fire, in that if you put them both in a house it will soon be on fire.
  • After seeing Aveline's badass introduction standing against a tide of monsters defending her one true love, Chuck asks if we're sure that the bickering Hawke clan are the heroes.
  • Chuck's Hawke is decidedly in the "stab things and get paid for it" school of fantasy hero, so Flemeth's prophesy that "the world will shake before you" is just met with confusion.
    • Hawke will do anything if it results in getting paid. Except dick stuff, that's where she draws the line.
  • Flemeth once again gets the "Evil Janeway's witch cosplay" treatment.
  • In Varric's first in-story scene Chuck says there was some kind of audio glitch when he shows it normally, and then shows the "corrected" version which has the Shaft theme playing.
  • Chuck getting quite exasperated when the quest to deliver an amulet to the Dalish elves become a game of Moving The Goal Posts.
    Chuck: Wait, wait! The deal was that I deliver an amulet, then you tell me I deliver an amulet and climb a mountain. Then you tell me, after that, I've gotta deliver an amulet, climb a mountain, and then bring an Elf home with me. What are you gonna tell next? I got to carry him or her home on my back?! I'm starting to get the feeling that is less of the arrangement and more of a bet you made amongst each other to see how many you can tack on before I decide just not to do it!
    • Gets a follow up when he get acquainted with Merrill, and finds out that she is an apostate:
      Chuck: Well, at least I don't have to take her all the way home and have her live with me; I'm just supposed to deliver her to Kirkwall and that's the end of it. Although, then again, I was just supposed to deliver an amulet to the Elves, so, knowing their definition, it probably means to bring her to Kirkwall and build her a fucking house.
  • Chuck meeting Merrill and quickly noticing her tendency to babble on about stuff:
    Merrill: I'm rambling, sorry!
    Chuck: (annoyed) Please tell me you're not going to do that the entire way up the mountain.
    • Just after that:
      Merrill: I'll just shut up now.
      Chuck: At least you catch on fast.
  • After another sidequest ends in a fight
    Chuck: God damn, I'm a criminal who carries knives everywhere, when the fuck did I become the sole voice of reason.
  • While lamenting Hawke's lack of money and a house to live in, Chuck points out that Tim saved the entire world, and all he got was the hassle of running an army and a lot of hot sex, and that there is only so much that boning can achieve. He seems to neglect to mention that, if Tim didn't bang Morrigan, Tim would have died!
    • Oddly enough, he also neglects to mention that doing said action allowed him to become a Lord of a province, with all the benefits that encompasses.
  • Chuck likening having Anders on the team — between his getting extremely moody and whiny over having his advances rejected by Hawke and being a pervert with absolutely no sense of tact and tone, what with making very lewd, inappropriate comments about Aveline's sex life with her dead husband — as being forced to hang out with Harvey Weinstein, followed by him sarcastically applauding Bioware for being so very progressive in their portrayal of a bisexual person.
  • During the hunt for the Serial Killer mage, Chuck grows increasingly frustrated with the Templars and other local Kirkwall authorities complete lack of ability to do any kind of coherent investigation of the crimes plaguing the city:
    Templar: (about the assassination of Ser Emeric) Some mage send that thing here to kill him! Why would anyone—? Oh, Maker! The murders.
    Chuck: Yeah, the murders. That he was investigating. Jeez. Now I'm starting to see why everyone thinks I'm a detective. They see me using the most basic common sense, and they're like "What kind of mental wizardry is that?! Clearly you must be Sherlock fucking Holmes!"
    Templar: Thank you for your help in this matter. If you learning anything more, please, come to me.
    Chuck: Oh, yeah. I'll be sure to do that. Or, even better, I'll write it down, crumble it up, and then drop it down a deep well. Because that is about as much good giving you a clue will be!
  • When Mother Petrice ineptly tries to frame Hawke for a murder, Chuck fails to be very impressed and warns her that he thought to bring along Anders, and he is very tempted to have him unleash his "#TriggerWarning" attack on her.
  • During the hunt in Mark of the Assassin, he remarks that an early character inexplicably lacks a French accent. He suspects it's because of the effect it would have had on his closing line "May the Maker smile on your 'unt."
  • In the same section, on encountering the new goblin-like enemies, he accuses them of trespassing in the wrong fantasy universe and threatens to call the cops.
  • Baron Arlange essentially being the French Jerk Supreme:
    Baron Arlange: I don't know 'ow you came to rob s'oulders wiff your betteurs, but enoff is quite enoff! I suggest you run along with your servands, while you 'ave zee c'ance! Zis wyvern was mine to kill, not yours! Mine, mine, mine! I paid good coin to win zis contest! It was my turn!
    Chuck: Twenty seconds with this guy, and you entirely see where Loghain was coming from.
  • Hawke enters a tense discussion with the Qunari Arishok, who is openly carrying his axe and starring down the party as they arrive:
    Aveline: Greetings, Arishok. We come regarding the Elven fugitives that took refuge here.
    Arishok: Irrelevant. I would speak to Hawke about the relic stolen from my grasp.
    Chuck: Oh, great. So nice to be wanted. Normally I would relish a chance to use my sliver tongue, but you can no more sweet-talk a Qunari than you can a shark.
    Hawke: One of my former companions [Isabella], stole [the ancient Qunari book].
    Arishok: Her part was clear. Your admission... is welcome.
    Chuck: Phew! That went better than I hoped. There is a chance now that we can resolve this without bloodshed. All we have to do now is just be very careful what we—
    Aveline: An issue for another time. We're here for the fugitives!
    Chuck: Oh, for fuck— You know he is not carrying that axe because they need more firewood, don't you?
    • He then learns the truth about the Elven fugitives. They killed the guard because he raped their sister, but despite them trying to report it through the proper channels, the City Guard refused to investigate the complaint. Aveline insists on continuing to press the issue, much to Chuck's exasperation, as he points out how firmly this places her in Too Dumb to Live territory:
      Aveline: That doesn't excuse murder!
      Chuck: What?! I'm here risking my life because two Elves killed the guy who violated a member of their family, and was untouchable because your guards were corrupt? Yeah, murder is bad! I'm not arguing that. But are you really gonna pick now as the point for moral absolutism? If you're gonna draw a line in the sand here, Aveline, maybe pick a victim more sympathetic than a tool of oppression who was literallly raping the poor, while your guards turn a blind eye to the crime! I don't think we need to burn the city to defend the honor of someone so without any!
      Arishok: Their actions are mere symptoms. Your society is the disease. They have chosen. The viddathari will submit to the Qun and find a path your way has denied them.
      Aveline: You can't just decide that. You must hand them over!
      Chuck: You're an idiot, Aveline, and I cannot believe I have to be a party to this nonsense. Walking into the compound of a an army of zealots on the day they got the worst news of their lives, and then issuing an ultimatum to defend the honor of a corrupt sex offender is not just clearly an attempt at suicide, but also an invitation to bring down ruin on the very city you're supposed to be defending!
  • The Arishok does a Decapitation Presentation of the Viscount:
    Arishok: Here is your Viscount. (throws the Viscount's head at the frightened nobles)
    Chuck: Well, at least Aveline won't have to explain how she caused this clusterfuck to her boss. That's one good thing... He gives a speech — the Arishok, not the Viscount — he gives a speech about how useless these people all are — I'm sure the Viscount would agree with that sentiment anyway...
  • In the beginning of Act III (part 8) he claims that the game is so bad that it's infecting real life. For instance, while recording his commentary over Nataniel's cameo his ceiling collapsed.
    • The gag continues in Part 9. He mentions that he'd been looking at a nice house right by Page Creek Marsh. Cut to an in-game dialog where Varric and Anders are wondering why anybody would willingly go anywhere with "Marsh" in the name as though they're giving him shit for it.
  • A bit into Part Nine he encounters yet more bugs:
    Chuck: We'll happy join any conspiracy [against Meredith] that's gonna try to knock her down. (the game freezes up) Especially because it involves a whole lot of Templar bullies. (beat, the game remains frozen) Ahem, I said; "Especially because it involves a whole lot of Templar bullies..." (the game still refuses to respond) These damn bugs! Jesus. (one restart later) I swear to Christ, I have seen that load screen more times than I've seen my kids' faces this month...
  • Speaking of "Templar bullies":
    Ser Mettin: (with as much haughtiness as possible) You've harboured a known apostate.
    Citizen: What crime is feeding my cousin?! She was whipped, half-starving!
    Ser Mettin: It is a crime against the Maker. The sentence is— (notices Hawk and the gang) Intruders! Deal with them.
    Chuck: I'm guessing Templars aren't big on body cams... Oh, and how'd you like that bit about "a crime against the Maker"? Yeah, I'm sure that really cheesed him off. Showing kindness to someone who is downtrodden. Yeah, I bet there is a verse in the chant: "Blessed are the pigheaded idiots, but woe upon those who show kindness to those bleeding and starving, for they clearly hadn't gotten a righteous asswhooping!"
  • The conspiracy is ambushed and so Hawke has to fight off even more Templars:
    Chuck: How many of these guys do you think took their oaths saying: "Boy, I sure do hope I get shipped off to the middle of god-only-knows-where to get involved in the political machinations of some corrupt bureaucrat, so that I can fight and die in the streets! You know, because I believe in a divine plan"?
  • Meredith tries to get Hawke to help her with finding some fugitive mages:
    Chuck: Not a problem! I'll give the case all the attention it deserves! (with no pause whatsoever) Well, the case was hopeless, we did everything we could, but the trail went cold. I guess you'll have to settle at being tyrannical to someone else. I could bring in a orphan girl with a three-legged dog for you to flog if it makes you feel better.
  • Chuck finding Dulci de Launcet's way of dressing quite the fashion accident:
    Hawke: You look lovely tonight, m'lady.
    Dulci de Launcet: Oh, you're too kind!
    Chuck: I agree. Too kind. This... What is this? It's like you put on a sensible Mary Poppins bottom, then you put on a clown suit on top, and then you realized that you forgot to put your sports-bra on, so you put that one on over that? Are you going to some kind of high-powered Circus D'Orlais tonight? I don't know what this is.
  • Part 10 sees Hawke going up against Dwarven assassins with a very single-minded purpose:
    Chuck: So, we fight the Dwarves who want my blood, and then more Dwarves who want my blood, and after that, there are some more Dwarves — who, turns out, want my blood. There are also some of those rhinoceros-dinosaurs in here; I don't think they're after my blood specifically, but I don't know how deep the conspiracy goes, so let us not put too much stock into assumptions here. So after all that, we wade inside, and what do we find? Dwarves. Who want my blood. (beat) Wait a minute! I'm noticing a trend here!
  • Chuck brought Anders along for the quest involving the Dwarven assassins, because the matter is related to the Grey Wardens, and he hoped Anders, as a Grey Warden, could offer some unique insight. Instead Anders decides to do some hand-wringing about the mages back in Kirkwall, which ticks off Chuck something fierce:
    Anders: While we are stuck down here, Meredith could be burning down the Circle!
    Chuck: Oh. You're right. How silly of me to think that endless waves of assassins after me personally merited my attention. When, by all rights, I should be standing outside the gallows with a bucket of water, just in case Meredith flipped out and started a fire. With you, it's all (whiny voice) "My cause, my mission, my interest, my concerns!" (normal voice) You certainly put the "my" in "myopic"! If you don't get your head in the game, Anders, then I'm gonna shove it so far up your ass that you'll surprise Justice right out of your body!
  • After defeating the leader of the Dwarven assassins, Hawke, in a moment of Cutscene Incompetence, decides to pick up a strange glowing weapon he had on his body:
    Chuck: The worst part is, I'd had yelled at anyone else who did something this stupid.
  • Anders gets momentarily taken over by the Darkspawn taint and Hawke and the gang has to fight him:
    Chuck: (with thick sarcasm) Oh, no. Now we have no choice but to beat the living shit out of Anders. Damn you, Corypheus, for making me repeatedly knee him in the groin. I don't know how I'll live with myself.
  • Merrill shows Hawke the Eluvian she has been working on getting operational again:
    Hawke: Tell me you didn't bring the killer mirror to Kirkwall just because it's pretty.
    Merrill: It's not dangerous! I fixed it! Or-or tried to. With blood magic.
    Chuck: That wasn't as reassuring as you thought it was. "I took care of the radiation leak! I dumped toxic waste all over it, and I think its perfectly fine now."
  • Aveline asks Hawke for a favor; helping her out with her courtship:
    Aveline: I need you to give something to Guardsman Donnic, here in the barracks. No questions and he is not to know it's from me.
    Chuck: Why, of course I'll do that! After all; we are both in the 6th grade.
    • Aveline continues to be completely inept at the seduction thing:
      Aveline: (to Donnic) It's... a real nice night for an evening.
      Chuck: Jeez... She's the George McFly of Kirkwall.
  • The entire warrior caste of the Dalish elf village gets angry at Merrill and so they insist on fighting Hawke and the gang. They do this to the point of Suicidal Overconfidence:
    Chuck: Wait, please! It doesn't have to be like this. We— (fighting begins) Please! Could-could we all just stop fighting for a little while? Because, we-we don't want to kill any more than... we already have this fight. If you guys could all stop with the... Y'know... Fuck...
    • Hawke and the gang then has to pass by the Dalish elf village itself. More Suicidal Overconfidence ensues:
      Chuck: Okay, let's just sneak down here and not say anything, and hope nobody knows what— (the entire villages goes into aggro mode) Oh, shit. Ugh! All right, look, everyone! I know this is a bad situation! Could we all stop the fighting for a moment? Just, please? Could we all just—? I don't want to have to stab anyone else! Could we... Fuck it... (the fighting continues) Y-you know, this isn't necessary. You could stop this any time now... We don't need to kill each other in order to... Goddammit! No wonder the Dalish are dying out.
      ("Five minutes later...")
      Chuck: (as Hawke slays the last standing Dalish warrior) Well, I think this is a first. I don't know anyone else who can claim to have committed genocide strictly as an act of immediate self-defense...
  • During his discussion of Anders and his many, many flaws, Chuck brings up the fact his character boils down to that of a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth fanatic with no other meaningful character traits apart from rage. He also observes that writer David Gaider, in response to players responding negatively to Anders' role in the game, claimed that Anders is in the game "to make you react somehow, and he succeeded admirably in that respect." However, it's also revealed that Gaider left Tumblr out of frustration over people who believe "that everyone must spend 100% of their mental energies devoted to social activism." In other words, Anders-style fanatics. In a brilliant follow-up to his jab at Matthew Graham in "Fear Me," Chuck cheekily concludes that "At least they got you to react, and they succeeded admirably in that respect!"
  • Anders praises Hawke for being a good friend to the mages' cause and a personal source of stability:
    Anders: Sometimes I think you're the only reason I'm not crazy.
    Chuck: Ugh. I knew I was doing something wrong.
  • Chuck's rant about how utterly unqualified Anders is to lead a revolution. He considers him the last in line he'd trust with that responsibility, and that takes into account both Sandal and the dog.
  • Hawke walks on an argument between Anders and Aveline, where the former accuses the latter of being the Templars' extended arm. It ends with an incensed Aveline walking off:
    Anders: (to Hawke) I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to see that.
    Chuck: It's alright! I already knew what a massive prick you are. Was there something specific, or was this just another street performance of "Angry Zealot Makes an Ass of Himself"?
  • Chuck decides to tell Anders off.
    Chuck: I'm just done with him. He can do whatever he normally does; probably hitting on widows at funerals...
  • When Anders shows up before the final battle after Chuck told him to piss off.
  • How does he summarise his experiences with Dragon Age II? "Land of Confusion".
  • In his Inquisitor playthrough of The Old Republic he refers back to this review as evidence of his experience in being forced into unpleasant things out of desperation. So no, he doesn't seem to have had a good time.

    Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri 
  • At the start of the game, he chooses the Morganites and plays up Morgan as an incredibly arrogant, hedonistic business genius, basically Tony Stark if he had his own nation.
  • Several times his frustration with events really brings his need for a drink to the front.
    • After the Gaians make contact and he does not want to deal with environmentalists.
      Morgan: MIRA, pour me a drink. No, pour me two drinks. Better yet, pour me three drinks and bring me the bottle instead.
    • Following the destruction of his terraformer just after he finished talking about how everything was starting to look up for them.
      Morgan: MIRA, bring me enough shots to kill me and then take two away
  • Partway through the game he makes contact with Yang, who demands Morgan's fusion technology and threatens war when Morgan refuses.
    Morgan:: Yeah, you're not the first person to tell me that. In fact you're not even the second. And what happened to all of them? They're dead. And why are they dead? Because... you killed them already, bad example. Um, ah, um, fuuuck.
  • After that disastrous contact with Yang, he wants to try and build a coalition to stand up to the dictator with the only other two factions left. Santiago politely declines to speak with him. So does Zakarhov.
  • When Santiago first contacts him, Morgan is distracted by what he thinks picture of her with Gag Boobs, only realized she's just wearing boxing gloves.

    Dragon Age: Inquisition 
  • Chuck opens the prologue video by musing on how, as things seemed at the time he released the video, Inquisition might go down in history as the last truly "great" Bioware game, noting how both Mass Effect: Andromeda and Anthem (2019) were, at best, considered So Okay, It's Average, citing a review of the former.
    Chuck: Andromeda was considered "good combat, medicore story", which, you know, for a Bioware game , is like "Jimi Hendrix has great lyrics, but so & so guitar play."
  • Given the oppotunity to create a somewhat less preset hero again, Chuck choses to play as "Harold the Lesser", a Loser Protagonist very confused as to how he has ended up as The Chosen One. Harold is decisively much more of a hapless Unlucky Everydude than Tim or Hawke, lacking their self-confidence and death-defying bravery. He is no less snarky though.
    Cassandra: The Conclave is destroyed! Everyone who attended is dead — except for you.
    Chuck: (despairingly) Well, I guess I'm the luckly one. Not that you can tell by current circumstances.
    Cassandra: (holds up Harold's sackled hand with the Breach residue still glowing on it) Explain this!
    Chuck: Ah, yeah, I got some of the interdimensional explosion all over my hands; I should have washed. What do you think I'm going to say?! I don't KNOOOW!
  • Harold picks up a weapon to defend himself from the attacking demons, but Cassandra tries to pull rank and demands he drops it:
    Chuck: Oh yeah, bad enough you're dragging me into the center of the Apocalypse, but you expect me to go in there unarmed?! Hey, why don't we turn it into a potatosack race while we've at it!?
  • Inside the ruins of the temple, Harold encounters of a vision of the past where a shadowy figure tells his mooks to kill him:
    Chuck: Man, my day has been one long streak of people demanding that I'm killed. I'm like the Rincewind of Ferelden!
  • Harold is unnerved when a large group of people has gathered outside his room and look at him in awe, whispering amongst themselves:
    Chuck: Okay... This is either very good or very bad... Which means it must be very bad.
    Crowd member: That's him! That's the Herald of Andraste!
    Chuck: Um, I wouldn't go that far. Just "Harold" is fine.
    • That moment when you realize Chuck picked the name just for the pun.
  • Grand Chancellor Roderick is quite an ass:
    Harold: I did everything I could to close the Breach.
    Roderick: Yet, you live. A convenient result, as far as you're concerned.
    Chuck: Well, duh! Any situation where I'm not left dead is more convenient for me! I get a lot more thing accomplished that way. Thank you, Chancellor Obivious!
  • When Cassandra claims that Harold might be The Chosen One, it gives Chuck a chance to elaborate on Harold's hilariously sad backstory:
    Chuck: Now, look, there's— There's been some kind of mix-up here. I don't know how this happened, but I'm "Harold the Lesser" for crying out loud! And I wasn't called that because my father's named Harold; he named after his horse! And he still called me "Harold the Lesser" because I was more useless.
  • Cassandra just sorts of bluntly blurts out that Leliana is the spymaster of the Inquistion. Leliana is not happy about this:
    Leliana: (giving Cassandra the stink-eye) Yes. Tactfully put, Cassandra.
    Chuck: Were you expecting subtlety from someone who named us "the Inquistion"?
  • In what may be shaping into a Running Gag, Harold the Lesser complaining about "Inquisition," specifically asking if it's too late to change the name, because that one "has baggage."
  • Chuck has an extended section where he talks about his numerous frustations with the Hinterland area, most pronounced that the level design sometimes makes it hard to tell where the player party is supposed to go and what parts of the scenery can be climbed and which cannot, and that the map rarely, if ever, offers any real help in this department. This culminates in him describing how, when he was asked to raid an apostate camp for food and blankets, the quest map marker wanted him to go up an impossible-to-climb mountain — which Chuck emphasizes that he knows is impossible to climb because he spend several hours trying to find either a way to do it or just a secret passage up there. He eventually gave up after several futile attempts and looked up the solution online, only to discover that the map marker simply was in the wrong place the whole time due to a bug, and that this bug had never been officially patched out by Bioware. Then, to his added frustration, every online guide he could find were not really that helpful outside of informing him of the bug, as they were annoying vague in where to actually find the apostate camp, telling him it could be found "under a tree" or using a lost ranger, whom he had already rescued hours ago and therefore couldn't remember where he found in the first place, as its point of reference. He finally adds that he did eventually find the camp, but at that point, it was down to it simply being the principle of the thing at that point and him being too angry and stubborn to quit.
    Chuck: There is no blanket worth that aggravation, but sunk cost got me, so keep warm, you bloody peasants!
  • Learning about Requisitions for the Inquisition:
  • Grand Chancellor Roderick shows up to smarm at people during an arguement between Templars and Mages:
    Chuck: Aw, man! What is that guy still doing around here? I mean, I've heard of "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer", but I don't think you need to keep your hecklers within earshot.
    • Roderick then heavily hints that he should be treated as more of an authority figure:
      Chuck: Yeah, I know it is not up to me, but if it was, I wouldn't pick the guy dressed like he's cosplaying as a tube of hemorrhoidal cream.
  • Cassandra asks Harold a weirdly absolutist question:
    Cassandra: You've said you don't believe you were chosen... Does that also mean you don't believe in the Maker?
    Chuck: Well, how can you even ask me that? You know there's gotta be a middle ground between "agnostic" and "I think I'm the Messiah!"
  • Harold meets with the Chantry and the Seekers of Truth Templar Chapter in Val Royeaux. Things go poorly...
    Cassandra: We should first return to Heaven and inform the others.
    Chuck: Yeah, they'd want to know that I was called a murderer, my head was demanded, and then things got worse.
  • Josephine discusses the possiblity of reaching out to Harold's family in Ostwick for support to gain some legitmancy for the Inquisition. Though she also notices that it probably only to a small amount of legitmancy:
    Josephine: You are from Ostwick. Orlesian nobles consideres the Free Marches somewhat... quaint.
    Chuck: (making no attempt to hide his sarcasm) What, the Orlesian are snobbish? Why, I had no idea. They hide it so well.
  • Felix warns Harold that his father, magister Gereon, has joined the Venatori, a cult of Tevinter suprematists.
    Chuck: Tevinter and cult. It's like the anti-Peanut Butter Cup; two things that weren't so great to start with, that has now been merged together. Urgh! This is like finding out that COVID could be spread by spam. Could this news be any worse?
    Felix: And I can tell you one thing: whatever he has done for them, he has done it to get to you.
    Chuck: (sighs) I need to have one hireling whose sole job is to follow me around and make sure I never ask if it can get worse.
  • In the Bad Future segment, Chuck sees the Breach has taken over the sky:
    Chuck: I have met the Apocalypse. And it's lime!
  • Harold tries to bargin with Felix's life to get Gereon Alexius to hand over the time magic amulet:
    Gereon: Please! Don't hurt my son! I'll do anything you ask!
    Chuck: Alright, then I want you to give me that amulet, or else we're gonna cut the throat of your special-needs son, because, dammit, we are the heroes!
    • Leliana then kills Felix out of spite, causing an enraged Gereon to attack:
      Chuck: Well, we may not get what we want now... But at least we go to spitefully murder an innocent. Fuck...

    Fallout 3 
  • Intro:
    • After the character's birth, Chuck starts us off right:
    James: Come on over here, sweetie! Come on, walk to Daddy!
    Chuck!Baby Beth: Don't tell me what to do, old man!
    James: There you go! My goodness, just a year old and already walking like a pro!
    Chuck!Baby Beth: Yeah, I'm a prodigy, so when do I get a gun?
    • After James shows Baby Beth the Revelations quote, Chuck shares a story about a green store that had a Revelations quote displayed - namely Revelation 9:4, about not harming the plants or trees. Problem was, it was quoted out of context: not harming the plants was part of a command to locusts to harm everything else!
    • Chuck is glad the game skips ahead to Beth's 10th birthday, at first worried that the game would morph into Roy: A Life Well Lived.
    • After the game skips ahead again:
    James: As far as I can tell, you're a perfectly healthy 16-year-old girl.
    Chuck: Yes, and I am not the first 47-year-old man to pull that trick off!
  • Part 1:
    • When Chuck starts telling a story about a compelling world vs. compelling characters, he breaks off in the middle when Beth is attacked by Mole Rats. The next ten minutes are an absolute blast, as Beth is seemingly attacked by every hostile animal or person in the Capitol Wasteland, coupled with Chuck!Beth's increasing exasperation.

    Fallout: New Vegas 


  • Despite the serious nature of the Prime Directive Analysis, Chuck does manage to squeeze a CMOF into it. When likening the Prime Directive to nature documentaries, he pulls up a picture of John Hammond saying: "And so the volcano on the island became active and all the animals will likely be wiped out...and it can't happen soon enough for me, by God! I'd have run them all over with a jeep if I though I'd get away with it!"
  • His cameo in the 200th episode of Atop the Fourth Wall, where he's just confused about what he's doing there, and refuses to show his face because "cameras steal your soul."
    • The best part? That line was ad-libbed.
    • In a bit of perfect timing, Chuck's revised review of the Voyager episode "Investigations" (which went up just a few days later) includes a reference to One More Day (the comic Linkara reviewed in his 200th episode). He noted this was just a coincidence. Besides the reference to One More Day was in the original version of the review on Youtube anyway.
  • For the 5th anniversary of the Opinionated Episode Guides, Chuck released an hour-long Clip Show of various jokes from his reviews.
    • And starts it off with a parody of "Boomdyada Boomdyada" to boot!
  • His week long special about Douglas Adams has moments of Adams style humor.
  • Foundation: "(Harry Seldon's) plan is simple: We're gonna create an encyclopedia. Yeah, apparently civilisation can be saved by Wikipedia - the first and only time that will ever be suggested."
  • Awfulthon 2015: Chuck got his Patreon supporters to vote for the worst Trek episodes reviewed that year. For the winner, "Let He Who Is Without Sin", he spent half the episode replacing references to sex with references to cricket, with Vanessa Williams being controversial because of photos of her "playing cricket with the same team", and having killed Curzon with a cricket bat.
    "And by now, you're probably a little tired of this Overly Long Gag. Well, imagine it stretched out to an hour, and you get why "Let He Who Is Without Sin" is so frickin' boring."
  • During the Awfulthon 2015, Chuck firmly denied rumors that some of the judges bribed him.
    "All of them bribed me, get it straight."
  • Rise and Fall of the Comic Empire:
    • In Part 3, he refers to Todd McFarlane and Rob Liefeld as "the Rebel Without a Cause and the rebel without a clue".
    • Also in Part 3, he throws some shade at Chris Claremont, who at one point thought it was unfair when one of his colleagues got sent to West Palm Beach for a convention while he got sent to a Midwest town in the middle of winter:
      "Which as someone in a Midwest town, well, that's why karma stuck you with Lee and Portacio, Claremont."
    • On how Marvel got the Spider-Man rights back from Cannon Films (the company behind Captain America (1990) and The Punisher (1989)):
    Spider-Man was rescued from Cannon, in the kind of triumph that everybody loves. Yes, of course, I'm talking about a procedural error in the bowels of an inhuman bureaucracy. It seems that neither the 1985 deal nor the extension was registered at the copyright office, thus the rights would automatically revert to Marvel if it were to ever declare bankruptcy... which it had! YES! Our multi-year, company-destroying public dick-measuring contest saved the day!
  • In the Transformers History videos he points out a chance meeting between two executives while both were using the urinals in a bathroom is ironically one of the very few corporate interactions in the tale that didn't degenerate into a pissing contest.
  • In Hermit's Journal, about the story of the filming of the Star Wars, pointing out how Lucas ended up creating a Continuity Snarl by making Obi-Wan younger in The Phantom Menace, by pointing out Harrison Ford's James Marshall was kicking ass as President—while Alec Guinness' Obi-Wan (who was originally supposed to be ten years older than Guinness himself) was now younger and still lamenting that he's not a young man.

  • When one of the commenters on one of his Voyager videos said, "Jesus Chuck what the hell do you have against Janeway (missing commas and all)," Chuck replied with: "Please, 'Chuck' is fine, there's no need to refer to me as 'Jesus Chuck.' I'm pretty sure that man's leprosy would have cleared up even if I hadn't touched him."
  • In a video explaining that due to very bad weather, his videos would be delayed.
    Chuck: Mother Nature's wrath... Or Janeway, I did never find out if she finished that weather machine of hers.
  • All of his "Jonathan Archer is dead to me" jokes are Hilarious in Hindsight for people who own the DVD box set version of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, as on the DVD commentary Denise Okuda makes one.
    Decker: "All those ships were named Enterprise."
    Mike Okuda: "You know, I don't see the NX-01 anywhere on there."
    Denise Okuda: "Jonathan Archer did something so horrible he got himself written out of the history books somehow."
  • Chuck's interview on All Things Trek has some funny as well.
    • Describing his whole development team.
      Chuck: Yes, SF Debris Conglomerate, consisting of me and this sock puppet.
    • On Solar Flares from Up the Long Ladder: "Get an umbrella, that will protect you!"
    • Talking about his career as a subsitute teacher: "Well we're not going to get the whole dynamic systems today. Sounds like a problem for somebody else. Good thing someone will be here tomorrow! < Evil Laugh >"
    • On which Trek is his favorite: "Ah! The same approach I take with my children! 'Which of you has disappointed me the least today! You shall not be punished.'"
    • On his analysis of how Roddenberry's views changed from TOS to TNG he uses a prime example of Gallows Humor by comparing it to dissecting a cat (you know how the cat works but you no longer have a cat)
    "That poor cat!"
    "I have really disturbing analogies. No idea why. I'm so sorry."
    • All of them cracking up when it's suggested that Chuck review Space: 1999.
  • From Chuck's Twitter:
    • About upcoming episodes:
    Chuck: Wonder Woman and The Thing are going to be hard. Inhuman indiscriminate killer no one can hope to stop, and the Thing is nasty too.
    • About a plumbing disaster that has delayed production:
    Sigh. The sink is now clogged and black gunk is bubbling out of the bathtub drain. The last person Poseidon was this mad at was Odysseus.
  • While Chuck has mentioned being a fan of Dragon Age: Origins, this one was most likely unintentional, but his Running Gag of Janeway desiring people to be prostrate before her, becomes even more funny when one realises that in the sequel, the first thing Merrill does upon meeting Flemeth (voiced by Kate Mulgrew) is to do just that!
    • Now that Dragon Age II is on his list of upcoming reviews, one can only imagine what his reaction to that line is going to be.
  • Another one from his Twitter:
    "Some days you discover that your job requires you to spend $150 on a magical girl show. And then you cry."
  • From his Twitter, on why he started the show:
    @CaptainCalvinCa: @sfdebris You're doing a great job with your opinionated reviews. I'm curious - what made you start that?"
    Chuck: @CaptainCalvinCa TY :) I needed to practice coding websites, so I needed to create content. Bitching about Voyager seemed the obvious choice.
  • As part of his role in Battle Geek Plus' Bidding war for Capcom against other Channel Awesome producers, Chuck used images of Dr. Claw.

    Astromech Spy 
  • R2 probably willfully misinterpreting one of C-3PO's lines to nickname him "Princess."
  • The Precision F-Strike when R2's efforts to get away from C-3PO come to naught.
  • R2 wishing he still had fuel for his rockets from the prequels.
  • R2's Non Sequitur, *Thud* after being shocked by the Jawa.
  • R2's dream on the Sandcrawler.
  • C-3PO's lines as Leia's message fragment plays are attempts to throw Luke off the scent, and he takes the opportunity to turn Luke against R2.
  • According to the interlude cards, the scene with Luke, Obi-Wan, R2 and C-3PO on the cliff was a "bathroom break".
  • R2 seducing the Death Star computer.
  • R2 saying he's going to get a Dalek chassis with his pay.
  • After one of Luke's X-Wing engines has been hit and asks R2 to deal with it: "Oh yeah, I'll pull a new engine out of my ass!"
  • Concerning the attack on the Death Star: "The battle goes as badly as tiny ships attacking a moon-sized stations sounds like it would."
  • "Wipe that smile off, I was shot today!"

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