Shows With Their Own Pages
The Nerd Crew
- In the first episode, Mike, Jay, and Rich's absolutely vicious satire of "serious and analytical" "geek culture" podcasts and review shows, with them admitting up front that they were bought and sold by Disney reps into giving the movie a positive review, but that's not why they loved it — it's because it was ''Star Wars''.note
- The second episode of The Nerd Crew has Rich looking at the contents of the Star Wars Backpack Pack Nerd Box, and completely breaking character laughing his ass off at one of the items: a Ghostbusters (2016) action figure that has a Star Wars sticker slapped on the box and all of the writing magic markered to say it's a Rey action figure.
- Rich's introduction.Rich: I'm Rich Evans, and I was once kicked out of an all you can eat buffet.
- The trio giving a standing ovation over the Star Wars: The Last Jedi logo. The applause and Mike's exclamation have become a Memetic Mutation among the RLM community.Mike: YOU JUST KEEP HITTING THE FUCKING HOME-RUNS DISNEY!!!!!
- Jay breaks character and panics when Rich nearly knocks over expensive camera equipment while Rich pretends to pass out.
- Mike, while over-enthusiastically nodding in agreement with Rich, headbutts his microphone. He holds character for a second before nearly breaking and is visibly choking back his laughter while holding his newly aching head. The shot then quickly cuts to Jay who is just barely holding it together better.
- Rich's introduction.
- From the third episode:
- The discussion on Spider-Man: Homecoming:Rich: Did the check clear? Do I like it?note
- Two instances of Kayfabe getting broken. The first with Rich having a meltdown and turning back to normal after a jumpcut, and the other with Mike remembering the ending of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice where Superman dies having forgotten about it, before correcting himself and pretending it was such a memorable scene and ending.
- The discussion on Spider-Man: Homecoming:
- From the fourth episode:
- Most the video is sponsorship shilling. A YouTube comment best summed it up as an episode of Black Mirror. Products include:
- Nerd Coffin, a decorated coffin that can also stream the latest movies to your grave and you can use it to store your Funko Pop and other nerd memorabilia.
- Nerd Life, life insurance for older nerds that allows you to see the biggest nerd movie of the year before it even premieres anywhere in case you have a terminal illness but requires you to sign an NDA and a DNR just in case you don't die after the movie comes out worldwide.note
- Rich getting quite excited when describing the Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer he just watched, praising the visuals, action and intrigue of the movie — but then bringing up the "iconic weapon" getting smashed, and gushing over Thor and the Hulk. When the guys correct him and mention the real trailer they're talking about (in which almost nothing happened), Rich looks absolutely crushed.
- Due to their endless shilling, the guys never actually get to discuss the trailer at all, ending with a promo code to get discounted tickets for Harrison Ford's Nerd Coffin-sponsored funeral (complete with a picture of a crashed small aircraft). Mike then ad-libs "a quick shout out to Stan Lee, who is [somehow] still alive". Jay and Rich lose it.
- Most the video is sponsorship shilling. A YouTube comment best summed it up as an episode of Black Mirror. Products include:
- From the fifth episode:
- Jay breaks character when Rich deliberately misapplies the butter on the Death Star Popcorn Maker, causing it to not only spill all over the table, but cause the appliance to catch fire.
- Rich's reaction to Chewbacca with an odd furry creature, wondering if they were crossing over Star Wars with Caddyshack. Another picture is suggested to be a crossover with Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Rich theorizes those creatures are the offspring of ET The Extraterrestrial and the Sadness Turtle from The Neverending Story.
- The crew feigning shock at the "bold" decision to make an Obi-Wan standalone story, then stating Darth Maul will return with each half having its own robot half, causing Mike to completely corpse. (One image has R2-D2's head on Darth Maul's legs.)Rich: Star Wars is really about having a top-half Darth Maul robot and bottom-half Darth Maul robot, fighting each other with twenty lightsabers while Obi-Wan is stuck in the middle.
- Mike's announcement of a Jabba the Hutt standalone film is met with stony silence until he reminds Jay and Rich that Disney's paying their salary. He then follows up with news about standalone films about minor characters from The Empire Strikes Back. Jay then wonders if Disney realizes the term "standalone film" may be offensive to paraplegics. They completely corpse reading the Wookieepedia entry for Lobot. Making it funnier is that Mike starts off reading the real thing but keeps making up an increasingly ridiculous backstory until Jay and Rich can barely hold it together.
- From the sixth episode:
- "I'm Jay, and even though I was on Screen Junkies once, I guarantee I am not a dirtbag."
- When describing how, going off of the trailer, the plot of The Last Jedi appears to concern original ideas such as AT-ATs attacking a snowy planet, a solo training session in a cave, and a final confrontation with the villain that ends in a cliffhanger:Jay: I haven't seen such original ideas since Star Trek Into Darkness.
- When Mike goes off on a tear about looking forward to future Star Wars films, Rich tries to remind him of other films:Rich: (awkwardly) Don't forget about Infinity War Twoooooo... Thanos in the hooooouse...
- When Jay remarks that Star Wars was always about family, Mike bluntly tells him to shut up.
- Mike does this again when Jay says the same thing about the Justice League.
- Jay comments about how excited he is about Justice League (2017), definitely not reading from a script in the process.
- Near the end of the episode, Mike mentions how, when they all recorded their reactions to The Last Jedi's new trailer, Rich left his camera on as he did his reaction. Rich reacts in horror. Cut to footage of Rich, in a Darth Vader mask, using a Porg toy to masturbate.
- From the seventh episode:
- "And I'm Rich Evans, and I love all things pop culture. Especially Porgs. I FUCKING LOVE PORGS!
- Jay teases the first word of Episode IX, saying "it's 'it's'." Rich and Mike think he's got Tourette's for a moment.
- The many fake spoilers, such as describing the porgs' teamwork moment of making a ladder to reach the lightsaber, or Snoke getting off his throne and stepping on a porg so hard that "we could see its guts were purple".
- The crew panic over them spoiling Star Wars: The Last Jedi before the embargo date of December 12, 2017. (The video aired on the 11th.)Jay: HURRY! SHUT OFF THE FUCKING CAMERAS!
- "Franchise Movie News":
- This quip from Mike after Rich screams "AIIIIDS" for 11 seconds straight. It causes Rich to completely lose it laughing and Jay to corpse.Mike: Wow, Rich. You held onto that "aids" longer than Magic Johnson!
- This quip from Mike after Rich screams "AIIIIDS" for 11 seconds straight. It causes Rich to completely lose it laughing and Jay to corpse.
- "D23, Star Wars, Disney+ and Streaming Services":
- Their reactions to the Sony/Marvel split:Mike: So apparently the arrangement that Sony had with Marvel to allow Spidey in the MCU had an expiration date. And just like spoiled milk, a lot of fans are sour on this idea!
Rich: Damn straight.
Jay: That's right, Mike. This is the first thing I can say "isn't very cool."
Rich: FUCK THEM!!!
Jay: How dare anyone cross Disney.
Rich: FUCK THEM!!!
Jay: I don't know what's going to happen with Tom Holland but I'm so fffucking angry!
Rich: Will they go back to Andrew Garfield?
Mike: I don't know, Rich! WE DON'T KNOW! BUT FUCKING GODDAMMIT WE'RE FUCKING MAD ABOUT THIS!
Jay: FUCK YOU, SONY!
Rich [loud enough for it to echo around the studio]: FUCK OFF!!!
[Mike and Jay collapse into laughter before quickly cutting away]
- Their reactions to the Sony/Marvel split:
- Return of the Jedi:
- The crew notice Harrison Ford's boredom in the role of Han Solo, and say he didn't want anything to do with the series anymore.Rich: (as Ford) I have to be second fiddle to Mark Hamill? Fuck that.
- Even more disinterested is Alec Guinness, and they laugh about how he puts no effort into the role, as Ben's ghost sits on a log while wearing slippers.
- When C3PO is recapping the events of the first two movies to the Ewoks.Mike: He explains how Lando made inappropriate sexual advances towards Princess Leia.
Mike: (as C3PO) Una Lando Calrissian ut-ah-taw-too-taw rapist!
- When the Rebels blow up the shield generator.Rich: (as Han Solo tells everyone to flee) Let's move! There's no way we can get far enough away to look like we survive this horrible blast we're going to see in a second!
(The dish explodes)
Rich, Mike, Jay: (screaming) OH MY GOD!!!
Rich: (gleefully) Han Solo is dead! (they all chortle) Oh, no, wait, he's fine! He's not even surrounded by fire, or debris!
Mike: He ran eleven feet away. That, that, oh my G—... that explosion was bigger than a continent.
Rich: They saw that explosion and they said, "Oh my God. We've got to cut to a shot of Han Solo standing up!"
- The crew notice Harrison Ford's boredom in the role of Han Solo, and say he didn't want anything to do with the series anymore.
- Justice League (2017):
- Mike is confused why Superman and the League seem to be fighting near a "Vietnam War memorial wall thing" with names listed on it.Mike: Is that all the people Superman's killed? (beat)
(Rich and Jay burst out laughing)
- Later he comments after Superman punches the Flash through the stone that Superman can't even let them be honored in death.
- Mike and Jay learning about Gorilla Grodd.
- Their reaction to the post-credits scene, on how Lex Luther escaped Arkham and replaced him with another bald inmate.Rich: He escaped from jail because he placed a crazy man in his spot who is also bald. They didn't know the difference because all bald men look the same.
Mike: He just faced the wall the entire imprisonment?
Rich: Nobody took a closer look!
(Jay laughs even harder.)
Rich: That guy's been standing there for... for a whole month.
Mike: Rich... is that... is that really what just happened or are you joking?
Jay: I think that's what... we're obviously watching this without sound but that's what's going on.
Mike: Oh my god...
- Mike is confused why Superman and the League seem to be fighting near a "Vietnam War memorial wall thing" with names listed on it.
- Halloween (1978):
- In the trailer for the commentary:Jay: But most importantly, we talk about the original ending to Halloween 6, and how Michael Myers was stopped by Paul Rudd and some magic stones.
Mike: But wait, did that really happen?
Jay: That was the original ending, but they reshot it.
Mike: Hmmn. They should have reshot the whole fuckin' film!
- In the trailer for the commentary:
- Rogue One: A Star Wars Story:
- Mike: I'll tell you this real quick. Jim took his six-year-old [to the film]...
Jay: Canadian Jim?
Mike: ...And he asked him what his favorite part of the movie was, and he said "When the little girl was given the stuffed R2D2 in bed". (Jay laughs) And he later found out that it was a Duracell ad that played before the movie. (Jay and Rich laugh)
- When running the stream for December 9, 2012, the stream was shut down because of DMCA action after showing the chipmunks singing Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. If you hear anyone saying something about "Fuck DMCA and fuck the Chipmunks", now you know why.
- "101 Wacky Kid Jokes WITH KIDS!!!" They decide to test the titular book of jokes on actual kids and see if they laugh. The whole thing is pretty funny from the 1st kid's total disinterest to Rich treating the whole thing as Serious Business. But the funniest moment has to be the 2nd kid* found the jokes so stupid that in the middle of one joke, he just gets up and runs away without any warning or hesitation.
- In The Western Ore Musical, Flint Eastrock deciding to throw a rock at him and his gun away instead of just shooting Jones during a gun fight. It goes pretty much how you'd expect... kind of.
- Rich Evans' watching the teaser for The Force Awakens spoofing YouTube videos of fans going apeshit over the teaser - especially at the shot of the Millenium Falcon. He descends into a rabid caricature of fanboyism. Things go really downhill when he jerks off an R5-D4 at his crotch after seeing the Falcon, while wearing a Darth Vader helmet.Rich: STAR WARS!!! I FUCKING LOVE STAR WARS!!!
- The "Ten Things You Didn't Know About Darth Vader's Suit" video is a riot:
- Mike and Rich crack up at the ridiculously named "Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center."Rich: Because it's the first thing you're going to do!
Mike: (Palpatine impression) "I'm gonna name this hospital after me! Then we'll get to Lord Vader."
Rich: That just makes me like Emperor Palpatine even more!
- They're also in stitches upon learning that the robots who built Vader's suit cut corners due to budget constraints at Palpatine's hospital imposed by Palpatine himself and tried to distract him from their shoddy work by making Vader's helmet very shiny.Rich: There's a brilliant story going on there.
- Vader's suit is filled with so many And I Must Scream features that it serves as a source of pitiful amusement.Mike: (After reading about Vader's flawed senses) [I would] just fucking kill myself at that point.
- And then there are facts about Vader's suit that are just plain ridiculous.Mike: "2-1B/DRX deliberately did not perform reconstructive cosmetic surgery to Vader's face, as it would be hidden behind the mask."
Rich: Oh, okay. I'm sure Vader appreciated that.
Mike: Hey, it's called the "Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center", not "Plastic Surgery Center".
Rich: Emperor Palpatine doesn't want you to be as pretty as he is.
Mike: "...And the ragged scars on his hairless scalp, which owed as much to what he endured on Mustafar, as to attempts at emergency transplants of hair folliclesnote during his trip back to Coruscant."
Rich: (Laughs) He's trying to get new hair!?
Mike: "The monitoring panel beeped frequently and for no reason, the lights seeming to serve only as steady reminders of his vulnerability."
Rich: It's designed to annoy him.
Mike: "Additionally, the tall boots were a poor fit for his artificial feet."
Rich: (Cracks up) The man can't even get shoes that fit!
Mike: The guy can't catch a break!
- Mike and Rich laugh so hard at Vader being unable to get a new suit due to "budgetary constraints" that they had to cut their description short.note
- Rich sums up his feelings about these facts pretty well.
- Mike and Rich crack up at the ridiculously named "Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center."
- The April Fool's re:View of Horse Ninja, sending up both early '90's Image comics and the cheesy quickie superhero TV movies.
- Jay bashing◊ Lights Out on Twitter in response to a user wishing they filmed a HitB episode on it named David F. Sandberg. As in, the same David F. Sandberg who directed Lights Out. Both parties fortunately take it in stride, though.
- The parody of the Blade Runner 2049 trailer and its Dull Surprise lead.
- Rich and Mike Talk: Disney's Han Solo Terrible Movie Ideas has Mike and Rich predicting what terrible ideas the then-upcoming standalone Han Solo movie will feature. At one point, Rich predicts Han Solo will encounter mynocs and use them to win the Kessel Run later. Jay, who's manning the camera, pipes in, "I can visualize that whole sequence. I can see it in my brain. I've already seen the movie."
- All of the Contrived Coincidence ideas they come up with, like Han bumping into Luke at age five, or his original ship being Slave I, which is then stolen by Boba Fett.
- After all the insanely idiotic plot ideas they come up with Rich gushes, "I had no interest in the movie before we did this, and now it's my Movie of the Year! I gotta see it!"
- Mike predicting how Solo will meet Chewbacca... which turns out to be so close to what actually happens in the movie that you'd almost think the writers just lifted the idea whole from Mike.
- The ultimate crowner though? During the actual HitB for Solo, Rich was the one who unironically enjoyed it the most.
- Rich and Mike's The Rise of Skywalker Predictions Video, similar to their past prediction videos, has the two analyzing the trailer and a Vanity Fair article to guess where the story is going. Rich especially has trouble guessing what's going to happen because The Last Jedi seemingly resolved most of the trilogy's plot points.
Mike:Okay, so script by JJ Abrams and Chris Terrio, writer of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Justice League (2017).
- Mike tells Rich who the scriptwriters are, and Rich immediately loses all hope in the movie:
*dramatic music sting*Rich: Is that a joke?
Rich: This movie's gonna be awful.
*camera zooms in on Rich:*
- After several minutes of buildup, Mike finally reveals his ultimate The Rise of Skywalker theory: "a horrible time travel story." Rich's reaction, as usual, is priceless.
Rich::(laughs in disbelief) Oh my God, that is the dumbest thing ever!note
- During Mike and Rich's Star Trek: Picard episode 1 review, Mike covers his mouth in genuine surprise when Rich points out the Homoerotic Subtext the show seems to be building between Picard and Data even though, as they go on to point out, it contradicts things from the Next Generation (namely that Picard didn't care for Data as much as the new show makes it out). It just becomes part of Mike and Rich's theory that modern Star Trek writers don't know what they're writing.
- RedLetterMedia released their own trailer for Star Trek: Picard, mocking the show's lack of creativity, highlighted by Picard's own words, which sound either like Patrick Stewart talking without knowing the camera is running or the mentality of the writers seeping into dialog:Picard: I never really cared for science fiction. Just didn't get it.
- It was followed by a "Coming Soon", revealing that a Mr. Plinkett review for Picard would be coming soon.
- The opening of "Rich and Jay Talk About Cobra Kai".Jay: Well Rich, are you ready to talk about a franchise revival, nostalgia-driven Soft Reboot that doesn't suck?Rich: I know!Jay: I just got done watching the first season of Picard!(Rich's smile becomes a frown)Jay: Have you seen the show?Rich: I fucking hate you.