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Funny / Red Heat

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  • Overall, Arnold Schwarzenegger is perfect as a stone-cold yet funny cop from Soviet Russia who experiences a Culture Clash in "capitalist" America.
  • In his hotel room, Danko puts the TV on, and it happens to broadcast a porn/erotic film. His reaction?
    Danko: Capitalism...
  • At one point, Danko is parked waiting for Ridzik to come back. Then a street hustler starts insulting him.
    Hustler: Hey, asshole, you can't park here! This is my parking place, I live right up there. So move your piece of shit car right now or give me 50 bucks!
    Danko: I do no understand.
    Hustler: We'll make it real simple, moron! You move your ass or you give me 50 or I take my Pete Rose here and fucking mutilate your car!
    Danko: Do you know Miranda?
    Hustler: Never heard of that bitch!
    (Danko punches him, he falls unconscious on the sidewalk)
    Danko: Hooligani...
    (Ridzik comes back at the car)
    Ridzik: Everything OK?
    Danko: Yes, fine, no problems.
    Ridzik: What about that sack of shit there on the sidewalk?
    Danko: He lives here.
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  • When talking about drug trade during a chase.
    Ridzik: Yeah? Well, tell me something, Captain. If you've got such a fucking paradise over there, how come you're up the same creek as we are with heroin and cocaine?
    Danko: Chinese find way. Right after revolution, they round up all drug dealers, all drug addicts, take them to public square, and shoot them in back of head.
    Ridzik: Ah, it'd never work here. Fucking politicians wouldn't go for it.
    Danko: Shoot them first.
  • Ridzik tries small talk with Danko by asking him about his family. It firmly veers into Everybody's Dead, Dave.
    You married? I'm just curious. I mean, we are working together.
    No.
    Ever?
    No.
    You got a girlfriend?
    No.
    Ever?
    Of course.
    Great. That's good to hear. How about your dad? What was he, a cop?
    Army. Dead 11 years.
    How about your ma?
    Nurse. Died when I was young.
    Grandparents?
    Killed in war against Nazis.
    Pretty fucking grim. You got any brothers or sisters?
    No.
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