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Funny / Red

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  • "Old man, my ass!"
  • Sara's reaction to Frank being in her apartment.
  • The "conversation" between Frank and Sara while Sara is Bound and Gagged in the backseat of Frank's car.
    Sara: *Loud, angry, muffled protests*
    Frank: I'm a little hungry too. What should we get?
    Sara: (beat) *Still muffled* Pizza.
  • Boggs' expression when Sara and Frank finally kiss. He's in full-on Squick mode.
  • Marvin's lack of experience with paper cuts, and his ponderous look when he says "I mostly get shot."
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  • Frank's assessment of Cooper, especially given the fact that he only saw him briefly:
    Moses: "About 6',1'', cute hair?"
    Record Keeper: *clearly amused* "...Hair was cute!"
  • The ending, after Boggs shoots Dunning's prone body, to make sure he's dead.
    Frank: feel better?
    Boggs: Yeah. ...wanna get pancakes?
  • The Florida postcard. OM NOM NOM.
  • Bogg's cover being blown by Victoria.
    Victoria: And tell Marvin to stand down before he gets hurt.
    *Cue zoom in to Marvin badly dressed in a bush out the window behind her.*
  • The scene depicting the "favor" that Frank and Boggs complete for Ivan.
    • "Moldova sucks!"
    • A sentiment which Frank turns and repeats to the UN Peacekeepers on their heels.
  • Pretty in Mink + tripod-mounted .50-caliber Browning = a master class in Lady of War. And, incidentally, More Dakka.
  • Dunning taunting Frank and the others before Joe slaps him.
    Dunning: You can't touch me.
    Joe: Sure we can.
    *Joe slaps him in the face.*
    • This exchange during the same scene:
    Dunning: I'm the bad guy!
    Marvin: Can I just shoot him now?
    Joe: He's not worth a bullet. (punches Dunning in the face, knocking him out)
    • Dunning then lets out a snore while unconscious.
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  • THE PIG. It even squeaks whenever Marvin touches it.
  • Almost everything with Marvin, who is a paranoid delusional kept on a steady diet of LSD for eleven years. One moment has him running after the Vice President, with old-fashioned dynamite and an actual clock tied to his chest, screaming.
    • His rant to Frank about the system:
    Marvin: Once they switch the flip, you're done! Satellites! The 'Net! Cell phones! Chips! The dentist...!
    Frank: Marvin!
    • And this:
    Marvin: Do you know what the problem with this country is?
    Sarah: People are trying to kill us?
    Marvin: Exactly!
    • The fact that, considering his Back Story (the aforementioned being secretly dosed with LSD by the government for over a decade), everyone agrees that he's actually holding it together really quite well.
  • Ivan's strategy of clearing out the room at the Vice President's gala: "OH MY GOD! GAAAAAAASSSSSS!"
    • Contrasted elegantly with his calm demeanor as he takes the elevator to the parking garage, strolls leisurely past the firefight to wait for the backup limo, which he then blows up with nary a raised eyebrow.

Red 2

  • This moment between Marvin, Frank and Han, discussing the complexities of Frank's relationship with a civilian, now working an op with them:
    Marvin: If there's one thing I know, it's covert ops and women.
    Frank: That's two things.
    Han: [Beat] ...No, grasshopper... It is not.
  • Han's "bitch, please" response to Cold Sniper Victoria:
    Victoria: Can you drive this ridiculous car?
    Han: Can you shoot?
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  • When Victoria is portraying a mental patient, she claims to be "the Queen." Some fans may only think of her Academy Award-winning role, but she is wearing an auburn wig and makes mention of talking to "Cecil," both direct references to her role in the miniseries Elizabeth I (2005).
  • Sarah insisting that she can handle the pistol Marvin gave her...and ''immediately'' pulling the trigger by accident. Lampshaded, of course:
    Sarah: No external safety on the SIG, huh?
    Marvin: Nope.
    • "Why don't you just give her a stick of dynamite, Marvin?!"
    • The moment before that part where Frank isn't pleased that Marvin gave Sarah a gun; when asked about it, Marvin replies, "It is America, Frank."
  • Han joins the team late in the sequel. He makes his presence known to Marvin, Victoria and Sarah by stealing a cracker from Sarah, eating it and drinking some wine. And what he says after that:
    "Kill Bailey. Secure the weapon. How hard could it be?"
  • Victoria and Ivan are having a date...while saving the other protagonists. It's really romantic too.
  • Victoria calling Frank to give him a heads-up that she's been hired to kill him. During the call, she's using some form of acid to dissolve a body from a recent job in the bathtub of a hotel room. It's hilarious because she's so casual about it—she's even still wearing her evening dress!
  • Han pissing and moaning to Frank after Bailey's bomb detonates on Han's plane, taking Bailey and the plane with it.
    I was actually starting to like you!
    First you owe me 35 million for the plane and 20 million for not killing you!
  • The Frog manages to evade Sarah and Marvin in an alley and he stops to flip them the "V." Only to promptly get hit by Frank and Katya in their car.
  • Oh Marvin...
    Frank: "And one more thing... Han just went number one."
    Marvin: "Why don't they just DIP OUR BALLS IN HONEY AND TIE US TO AN ANT FARM?!"
    • Note they're in a diner at the time, and that Marvin bellowed out the said line just as someone rang the bell.
  • When Marvin, Frank and Sara bump into Victoria.
    Frank: "How the hell did she know we were coming here?"
    Marvin: (after a small beat) "I did."
    Frank: (Death Glare to Marvin)
    Marvin: "I couldn't take the suspense."
  • When Han opens fire on Marvin and Frank with a ridiculously enormous BFG, they crawl down the sidewalk and take cover behind a car. Marvin gets behind Frank, who suddenly frowns. Just the fact that many viewers probably didn't expect Marvin to actually have dynamite in his pocket...
    Frank: Marvin?
    Marvin: Yeah?
    (cur to overhead shot, showing Marvin is spooning Frank)
    Frank: Is that a stick of dynamite in your pocket?
    Marvin: Yeah, but I was saving it for an emergency.
    Frank: Well... This is kind of an emergency, isn't it?
    • Even the tirades between Frank and Han is this:
      Han: You dead yet, Moses?!
      Frank: Not yet!
      (Han proceeds to unload More Dakka)
      Frank: In my ass!
  • Nothing like some good old fashioned Casual Danger Dialogue:
    Victoria: [on the phone, vaguely disappointed] "Please tell me you're not crashing with a weapon of mass destruction."
    Frank: *very much crashing with a weapon of mass destruction*



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