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Funny / Ratchet & Clank

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  • Most of the games' subtitles. Going Commando? Up Your Arsenal? Size Matters? A Crack In Time?
  • The GPS-lady in ToD: "Touchdown in 5... 4..." *lands* "Oops, 3-2-1!"
  • Clank is voiced by David Kaye. While Kaye has voiced powerful robots, such as Optimus Prime and Megatron, he also voiced Sesshomaru. Knowning that last fact will make it impossible to take either character's voice seriously.
  • Also: the entirety of Captain Qwark's mission briefings in Tools of Destruction and Up Your Arsenal. By the same token, the entire Malicious Slander campaign from Ratchet: Deadlocked run by Dallas and Juanita, which comically escalates into an increasingly transparent bullshitting contest.
    • One of the highlights after Ace Hardlight's "death", Dallas and Juanita try to slander Ratchet again by dubbing over the three kids to make it sound like they hate Ratchet for what he did. Thing is, they don't even attempt to disguise their voices, and their dubbing clearly doesn't match up with the on screen visuals. The kids aren't even talking much and are playing with toys of Ratchet!
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  • The first game has infobot to Blarg Depot on Gaspar. The scene presenting it has a scientist and pilot presenting the progress of their work to Big Bad. Cut to the pilot and plane starting, then flying and crashing backwards.
  • The entire Balloonogram sequence from the second game:
    Male Voice: Hello-
    Angela's Voice: -Ratchet and Clank-
    Male Voice: -you lucky devils!
    Angela's Voice: [exasperated] Angela Cross-
    Male Voice: -has just sent you a Galactic Greeting!
  • Another one from the second game, when the Thief has captured Clank:
    The Thief: Return to your own galaxy immediately, or this will happen to you!
    (The Thief pushes the red button. Nothing happens. Clank looks confused.)
    The Thief: (inspecting the buttons again) ... Or... this will happen to you.
    (The Thief pushes the green button. Clank is electrocuted)
    The Thief: Farewell.
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  • In Going Commando, after going through the facility to find the computer and reactivating it, Clank tells Ratchet the machine needs a 10,000 bolt deposit to be accessed.
    Ratchet: "What? Now even the computers are charging us? That's it; this galaxy blows."
  • After paying said computer's fee...
    Dr. James T. Fullbladder: Dr. James T. Fullbladder reporting on MegaCorp experiment 13. This update is strictly classified; if you are watching this, you're fired.
  • The coordinates video for Siberius, depicting the Thief getting wailed on by the Protopet, is comedy gold.
  • Any cutscene involving Nefarious in A Crack in Time. From the Orb of Gratuitous Immobilization to his continued glitching and resetting, the comic timing is so utterly perfect.
    Nefarious: [...] and constructed in the exact center of the UNIVERSE!! (quickly) Give or take fifty feet.
  • Groovitron. Nothing (not even the final boss) is immune to it, and every enemy must break down and dance to it. It is one of the most humorous achievements to get.
    • On that note, the small section in A Crack In Time where Ratchet disguises himself as Dr. Nefarious, mostly because you can give multiple Jerkass commands to your minions, including making them dance. Even with the Groovitron, you're mostly focused on blowing shit up, but when you can just repeatedly order your minions to "GET DOWN AND GET FUNKY!", the effect really starts to hit you.
  • Despite the awkward subject matter, this exchange from Tools of Destruction:
    Clank: What are "stones"? (checks chest compartment) Do I have them?
    Ratchet: I'll tell you later... and no.
  • The Plumber's appearance in Tools of Destruction— from "Almost didn't recognize you in high-def" all the way to his— ahem— exit. That scene was absolutely hysterical...Ratchet probably summed it up the best, really: "What just happened?"
  • The RYNO V in A Crack in Time, due to the fact that it plays the 1812 Overture whenever you fire it.
  • Clank's little dance after getting the Hypnomatic part at the end of the grind rail on Damosel.
  • This exchange in Going Commando on planet Tabora as the duo find a new OmniWrench 8000 V2:
    Clank: It says "In case of emergency, use rock to break glass." (Ratchet is about to break it) Hold on, this one says "Use rock to break glass to get wrench to break glass to get rock." Ooh, I love logic puzzles! Let's see... if you break the glass with the...
    Ratchet: (breaks the glass with his wrench and takes it) Solved it.
  • "This update is strictly classified. If you're watching this, you're fired."
  • Another gem from ToD can be found on Ryken V after viewing the informational reel for the Lombax Center for Advanced Research. To wit:
    Ratchet: The Lombax Secret is... a hat. Oh come on, no lombax would ever invent something that ridiculous!
    Ratchet: Stunderwear! Huge seller on Umbris.
    • This only becomes better when you realize that, when we were given the opportunity to explore Umbris in Ratchet & Clank, the only sentient lifeform present was Captain Qwark.
  • The DreadZone Ranking Machine's constant commentary about Ratchet's size.
    Ranking Machine: Does it bother you that you are shorter than most heroes?
    Ranking Machine: Your ranking appears to be that of a contestant twice your size.
    Ranking Machine: Attention: Something small and furry has walked into the ranking station. Oh, it's you Ratchet.
  • There's one conversation in Size Matters that happens to be a direct Call-Back to one of the first scenes from the original game:
    Ratchet: There's Luna, let's get her!
    Clank: Ratchet, do you notice anything strange about Luna?
    Ratchet: Well, she does seem to have an unusually large door coming out of the back of her head.
    Clank: And why is that?
    Ratchet: Because she's... uh, a robot?
  • There were a few moments from the comics, too. One that sticks out in particular starts with Ratchet and Clank being shipped off to a prison; this is part of the conversation they have on the way there:
    Ratchet: That's it. I'm going to kill Qwark.
    Clank: You say that at least once a year.
    • But it comes back up in the last place you would expect. When Ratchet's being corralled out of the prison's dining hall with the Agorian he'd just fought with, this is what we're treated to:
      Clank: Ratchet!
      Ratchet: Everything's gonna be fine, pal! Just do me a favor!
      Clank: Anything!
      Ratchet: Kill Qwark for me!
  • The comic series also has Clank's solution for keeping Qwark safe in the last issue: taping him to a chair with duct tape. This was probably less to keep the Captain from getting hurt by Zogg and more to keep him from hurting himself. Qwark's reaction is great, too:
    Qwark: Not cool, Clank!
  • From Mike Stout and Tony Garcia's Let's Play/Director's Commentary of Going Commando, whenever they talk about User Testing:
    What's the safest thing to do?
    Hit it with the wrench!
  • Also from Mike and Tony's Let's Play, whenever they talk about anything innovative in the game:
    Tony: I'd like to think that *insert name of popular game known for certain type of gameplay* took an example from us for our *name type of gameplay*
  • From Mike and Tony's Up Your Arsenal let's play, where Tony describes his 72 hour stay at the office to clean out bugs from the game:
    Tony: By the end of [the 72 hours] Ted Price came up to me and was like "How long have you BEEN here?" and I stopped for a second and was like, "What day is it?" and he's like, "Go home. Go home right now."
  • From Secret Agent Clank:
    Clank: [confused] Ratchet? Is that REALLY you?
    Ratchet: Oh, it's me alright! Big floppy ears, big green eyes, big hands, big- [bends down]
    Clank: RATCHET!
    Ratchet: [pulls up one of his feet] -feet. What?
  • An awesome one from the comics:
    Ratchet: What is this thing anyway? It's been down here for years.
    Clank: This is a GrummelNet Flux Compression Generator. It emits a supercharged blast of radiation at a radius of fifty kilocubits.
    Ratchet: Holy crap!
    Clank: Indeed, it is a quite powerful device-
    Ratchet: No, I mean, "Holy crap, I didn't know what this was and almost used it to make pancakes last summer." We really need to start labeling stuff.
  • A scene in Tools of Destruction that can be easily missed because of the dramatic circumstances it occurs in: When Tachyon activates the Dimensionator, it unfolds into a contraption several times larger than him. As it's strapped to his head, Tachyon is now severely top-heavy, and visibly struggles to stay upright while delivering his dramatic monologue.
    • Said contraption also has a punching glove and a Lombax teddy bear coming out of it.
  • In Tools of Destruction, Ratchet and Clank's ship flies away into space;
    Computer: Engaging cryosleep.
    Ratchet: Cryosleep? Nah, nah, there's no way I'm gonna- Zzzzzz
    Clank: It is fortunate cryosleep does not work on robots. (Chuckles)
    (Punching glove springs out of the console and socks Clank)
  • As short as it was, Quest for Booty had its moments, too. Ratchet's scream upon being shot out of a cannon is a good example— particularly since he goes from Screams Like a Little Girl to laughing maniacally midway through.
    • A lot of the interactions between Slag and Pete in the storybook segments are pretty good. The best examples are:
      Slag: Skip to the part about the curse!
      Pete: WHOA! Spoiler alert!
    • Pete, in particular, is a goldmine.
      Pete: [Slag] took the lombax's female friend captive! Which, of course, multiplies the drama by... like... four!
      Slag: Pete! What have I told you about usin' math? That there's grounds for a plank walkin'!
    • "And now, the final chapter in our gripping saga! Events do not occur in real time."
    • And then there's the ending, where we see exactly where Pete and Slag have been narrating from: a crate bobbing on the water, with Pete using a plank to row back to Hoolifar.
      Slag: Row! Row! Row!
      Pete: Oh! Let me guess! Row?
  • A good one from Going Commando comes after beating the first race, when a Desert Rider gives Clank an oversized helmet and brings up his next mission for Thugs-4-less.
    Ratchet: Did you see that broadcast?
    Clank: [Peering through one goggle lens] Not really.
  • The little cutscene at the very end of the first game, where Qwark makes his squick-tastic return to commercials.
    Ratchet: (to Clank) TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
  • The ending of Quest for Booty, which also counts as a Mood Whiplash. We learn that Clank is comatose, and the Zoni have hired Dr. Nefarious to repair him. Nefarious begins to march down a flight of stairs to moody music... then trips on a feather duster and falls down in a comedic way, with the music suddenly stopping.
    Nefarious: LAWRENCE!!!
  • In Ratchet: Deadlocked, one cutscene starts with Al dancing along to a Courtney Gears song. And not just any song, it's Death To Squishies.
  • All of Qwark's levels in Secret Agent Clank involve him dictating stories of how he saved several planets from various threats for his autobiography. The funny part is that they are all increasingly obvious bullshitting contests.
    Qwark: [While fighting a shoddy Space Asian knockoff of Godzilla] Did I mention he was tall as a building and could shoot laser beams from his eyes?
    • At one point, he decides to sing about how he saved a village from various monsters and threats.
  • In Tools of Destruction, after obtaining the Robo-Wings:
    Ratchet: Clank, have you been upgrading yourself in secret?
    Clank: Absolutely not. And I do not care much for your tone.
  • Towards the end of Tools of Destruction, just before the Wham Episode, we get this gem during the halo jump onto Reepor.
    Cronk: This reminds me of a time we did a Halo Jump with a Lombax and his medal buddy into the Cragmite homeworld. Ah, Zeph, when was that?
    Zephyr: Ah, for crying out loud, it's happening right now, you darn fool!


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