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Funny / Radio Days

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  • Sally's status as the Brainless Beauty leads to many amusing moments, particularly her reaction to the attack on Pearl Harbor.
    Sally: Who's Pearl Harbor?
    • Sally's diction lessons. ("I hear the cannons roar...")
  • Bea's date Mr. Manulis running away in fear during the "War of the Worlds" broadcast.
    Narrator: He ran off, leaving Aunt Bea to contend with the green monsters he expected to drop from the sky at any moment. She walked home. Six miles. When Mr Manulis called for a date the next week, she told my mother to say she couldn't see him. She had married a Martian.
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  • The revelation that Joe's substitute teacher is the woman he saw dancing naked in front of her window.
  • Joe's grandfather laboring to help his grandmother squeeze into her corset.
    Grandpa: A woman in her seventies, and her bosom is still growing!
  • The story of Kirby Kyle, the baseball pitcher who lost an arm and a leg and went blind... but still kept playing, because "he had heart". He gets killed and wins 18 games in Heaven.
  • Joe's recollection of neighbor Mr. Zipsky losing his mind, running through town in his underwear and brandishing a meat cleaver, with "Mairzy Doats" playing in the background, is one of Allen's most hilarious Black Comedy set pieces.
  • The reaction of Mrs. Silverman to a neighbor's daughter coming home with a black man and giving him a kiss.
    "She had a stroke on the spot. Her arteries hardened. The woman remained frozen, the teacup on the way to her mouth."
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  • An elderly hitman's mother feeding Sally food kindly, while still advising her son on where to dump her body.
    Rocco's Mother: Where are you gonna dump her body?
    Rocco: I'll dump her body in Jersey, Mama.
    Rocco's Mother: 4:00 in the morning, you want to dump her body in Jersey?! (pounds table) Dump her in Red Hook!
  • Joe's sister loves eavesdropping on her neighbors' phone calls (a wiring error has made the neighborhood's phones into a party line.)
    Martin: Hey, Waldbaum. Waldbaum, you think we care what goes on in your house?
    Tess: Let them take her ovaries out. What's it our business?


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