The exchange in the car after Neal is "helped up" by the irate cab dispatcher:
Del: "You have any idea how glad I am I didn't kill you?" Neal:*helium voice* "Do you have any idea how glad I'd be if you had?"
Del's choice of reading fare at La Guardia Airport: "The Canadian Mounted." The sexy woman in a provocative pose on the cover gives a good indication of the book's content.
Beautiful country, though, right? Whaddaya figure the temperature is? One.
John Candy's delivery of "What is your problem? You insensitive asshole!"
"You play with your balls a lot!"
"I do not... Play with my balls."
After being forced to share a bed, Neal and Del wake up in a position that no two straight men should ever find themselves waking up in. (They both were simultaneously dreaming about being back home with their wives). There's a reason the special edition DVD is called The "Those Aren't Pillows" Edition. After being grossed out for a few seconds, the two puff their chests out and start chit-chatting about football in deep voices.
The scene where the duo's car ends up running the gauntlet between two oncoming semi-trucks at freeway speed in the middle of the night. What really sells it is the ridiculous Wild Take the duo share, from turning into googly-eyed skeletons to Neal seeing Del as a Big Red Devil, complete with facial hair and pitchfork, laughing manically at him. By the end of it, Neal's fingers are embedded in the dashboard, while Del has managed to bend the steering wheel.
Neal's face as he slowly puts the pieces together that they're driving on the wrong side of the road, followed by his Lou Costello-esque gasp of "Tru-! Truh! Truk!" as he frantically tries to warn Del about the oncoming trucks before it's too late.
Then, as if to prove that things haven't gotten bad enough, the car bursts into flames while Del and Neal are sitting on Del's trunk a few feet away (which is catapulted off of the car when Del stops short, forcing them to collect it from the middle of the road), followed by the expertly timed reaction of Neal, too tired to think straight, turning around when he hears it ignite, casually turning back around, pausing, then turning around again when he realizes what he'd just seen.
Neal: How could you rent the thing anyway without a credit card? You couldn't! How could you do it? Del: Oh I gave this gal behind the counter a set of shower curtain rings. (laughs) Neal:(stops laughing immediately) You can't rent a car with shower curtain rings, Del. (Del stops laughing, Neal gives him an impatient look as he waits for an explanation) Del:(stops laughing) Well, uh, somehow your Diners Club card wound up in my wallet and I just... Neal:(enraged) You STOLE it! Del: Not exactly. Neal: You stole it! I knew you stole it! You stole the card! And then you rented a car! And then you BURNED IT UP!!! I knew you stole it. Del: No I didn't! I found it in my wallet! I thought maybe you put it there. Neal:WHY WOULD I PUT IT THERE? Del: Kindness? Neal:KINDNESS?!KINDNESS?! You STOLE it! (shouting into the night sky) He STOLE it! Del: No, I didn't! No, I didn't! I was gonna send it back to you! With whatever the rental car charge was, plus interest! But you didn't give me your address. What was I supposed to do? You just ditched me! I had no money, I had no cards, I had nothing! Neal:(grabs Del) Give it back! Del: I can't! Neal:(begins shaking him) Why not?! Del: Because! Neal:(shakes him some more) Because why?! Del: Because when we stopped to gas up, I put the card back in your wallet. (Neal's wallet is in the glove compartment in the now burning car. He and Del turn and look at it, before Neal groans and slumps against Del) Del: Are you mad at me? (Neal slugs him in the gut and trips over his trunk)
And in the next scene, Del is telling Neal how a punch in the stomach like that could've killed him ("That's how Houdini died!"), only for Neal to silently glare daggers at him.
"Six bucks, and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago."
This exchange, following the above burning:
State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going? Del: Well, funnily enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to say with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going. State Trooper: Seventy-eight miles an hour. Del: (whistles) Seventy-eight, huh? Well, yeah, I could buy that. Sure, I guess, y'know, uh... you would know better than us, especially since we've got a melted speedometer. State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel? Del: Yes, I do. Yes, I really do, I believe that. I know it's not pretty to look at, but it'll get you where you want to do. State Trooper: Now, you got no outside mirror. Del: No, we lost that. State Trooper: You have no functioning gauges. Del: No, not a one. (Beat) However, the radio still works. Funny at that may seem, with all this mess, that the radio is the only thing that's really working good, and it's clear as a bell, don't ask me how. (chuckles nervously)
The underlying irony that for all the ridiculous and reckless driving Del does during that scene, the things that actually endanger their trip only happen afterwards and are complete accidents.
Also the fact that it never occurs to him to simply pull over to free himself.
Neal sleeping through the whole thing, despite Del's screams and the car doing a good three or four 360 spins out of control.
Del and Neal trying to get the rental car out of the snow at the inn, with disastrous results.
Del: Push! Neal: I am! I am! Del: Push for Christ's sakes! Neal:(Gives up) Del: Maybe we're gonna have to rock it...Okay, reverse! (Del backs the car into the motel wall, destroying it) Neal:Aww... Del:(Looks back at the enormous mess he made, then looks forward puzzled)Huh. Neal:(Frantically gestures him forward with a "Let's get the hell out of here" look)
The fact that they still put the turn signal on, complete with a hand turn signal, during their getaway. And of course, they put it on in the wrong direction.
Neal realizing how he knows Del, with a recreation of his reaction in the cab, but with the airport still in the background.
Neal's contribution to the bus sing-along is Frank Sinatra's "Three Coins in the Fountain." Everyone simultaneously turns to him with an unamused glare of "Really, dude?" before he sheepishly peters out.
Immediately followed by Del, who clearly knows how to ready the audience better, saving some face with the more low-brow but accessible Flintstones theme song, much to Neal's annoyance.
Del and Neal driving down the road in an utterly wrecked, twisted burned-out hulk of a car, merrily singing "Blue Moon of Kentucky" as other drivers gawk in stunned surprise.
Neal being forced to dry himself off after his shower with a teeny tiny washcloth after Del uses up all the towels.
"Her first baby... come out sideways. She didn't scream or nothin'."
between two oncoming semi-trucks at freeway speed in the middle of the night. What really sells it is the ridiculous Wild Take the duo share, from turning into googly-eyed skeletons to Neal seeing Del as a Big Red Devil, complete with facial hair and pitchfork, laughing manically at him. By the end of it, Neal's fingers are embedded in the dashboard, while Del has managed to bend the steering wheel.