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Funny moments in Justice for All.


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     The Lost Turnabout 
  • Mr. Wellington loves large bananas. That is all.
  • This exchange. What's funnier is that she's right.
    Maggey: It's not me, sir! I didn't kill him!
    Phoenix: Then how do you explain his dying message incriminating you?
    Maggey: ...it's a conspiracy!
  • At some point, you're required to present one of Phoenix's business cards as evidence. The Judge then thanks you, and hands you his own business card. It even gets added to the Court Record. You can try to read it to find out the Judge's name, but it turns out to be illegible.
    • The exchange that ensues if you choose to tell the Judge that the name on the card is what's important. On the one hand, it introduces you to just how punishing this game's penalty system can be, as it'll lead to a pretty big penalty by first case standards. On the other hand, Phoenix kind of deserves everything he gets if he says this:
      Phoenix: The name on that card tells people who I am! It even told ME that I'm "Phoenix Wright"!
      Payne: ... (stares blankly at Phoenix)
      Wellington: ... (smiles smugly)
      Maya: ... (looks at Phoenix as if to say "You have GOT to be kidding me!")
      The Judge: ...Did you not know that?
      Phoenix: Nope!
      Payne: Objection! Wh-wh-what's the meaning of this nonsense?!
      The Judge: Mr. Wright! Get a hold of yourself and start behaving like a proper lawyer! (hits Phoenix with a 33% penalty)
      Maya: Ouch. Talk about a tongue-lashing, Nick.
  • Richard Wellington's multiple faces when he tries to prove his innocence.
  • The fact Phoenix defeated Winston Payne when he couldn't even remember that he was a lawyer, and even after Phoenix gets his memories back, he doesn't remember Winston specifically.

     Reunion, and Turnabout 
  • The entire scene where Phoenix talks to Pearl for the first time after Maya asks Phoenix to show her Magatama. However, it seems Pearl knows him from Maya... and assumes something that makes Wright blush:
    Pearl: Who are you?
    Phoenix: I'm Phoenix Wright. I, uh, worked with Maya...
    Pearl: ...You worked with Mystic Maya...? You... You're Mr. Nick, right?
    Phoenix: Uh, excuse me? (I bet I know who she picked "Nick" from...)
    Pearl: I know who you are. You're... You're Mystic Maya's... (happy expression) "special someone"!
    Phoenix: WH-WH-WH-WHAT!?
    Pearl: So then... Of course! You're going to help Mystic Maya, aren't you? That's what you're going to do, right?
    Phoenix: W-Well, yeah...I will...
    Pearl: Oh wow... It's like a beautiful fairy tale! That earnest look shining brightly in your eyes... It must be true love...
    Phoenix: (takes a blow) Wh-What!? (Why am I being boiled into a bright red lobster by this little kid!?)
    • Before that Pearl was crying leading to this gem:
      Phoenix: (Ack! I'm in trouble now!! If Morgan sees us like this, I'll be the next one they're channeling...)
    • Of course this doesn't stop there. Even Ini Miney gives this line upon seeing Phoenix with Pearl:
      Ini: Aww, she's, like, tooootally cute! Is she, like, your daughter?
      Phoenix: WH-What!? NO! (How old do you think I am!?)
      • This last line becomes even more Hilarious in Hindsight given that Pearl is only about a year older than Phoenix's (adopted) daughter Trucy.
    • Even before Maya gives Phoenix the Magatama to establish his bona-fides, when Pearl keeps running away from Phoenix every time he opens his mouth, you get this piece of self-reflection:
      Phoenix: Is my hair too spiky? Not spiky enough?
  • One part of Lotta's testimony requires you to press five statements, all of which you were there for. Hence, three of these result in Franziska forcing you to corroborate Lotta yourself. The best is when Lotta describes "Mr. Lawyer" breaking the door down.
    Phoenix: (finger outstretched) So, Let Me Get This Straight...! This "Mr. Lawyer there" broke the door down!?
    Franziska: Honestly, Mr. Phoenix Wright. Why don't you tell us what happened then?
    Phoenix: Um... Yes, Ms. von Karma... I broke the door down. Sorry. (Why does this feel like an inquisition?)
    Lotta: No need for apologizin'! That was great! You're a real man!
    Judge: Oh really? That's something I would've liked to see.
    Phoenix: (The Judge is smiling rather openly. I'll take that as a good sign...)
    • Then there's the part where Lotta protests against Franziska whipping her and complains to the judge:
      Lotta: I-I declare! What in tarnation!? Hey, Judge! This here is violence against my fair self!
      Judge: That's fine.
  • At one point, in a fit of pique brought on by Phoenix's deductions, von Karma whips Phoenix, The Judge, and Lotta, who despite the difficulties she makes in court didn't actually do anything to deserve it and complains about this fact in a very fast-moving text box.
  • This exchange:
    Ini: Are you really trusting the word of that fake, perverted doctor?
    Phoenix: Yes, I am. And how did you know he was perverte- (Franziska whips him)
  • Every single scene with the imposter Director Hotti. Here and in Case 4 later on.
  • "Mia, not you too! With the whip... and the pain... and the owww..."
  • Presenting the wrong profile at end of the trial.
    Judge: ... Would the defense please inform the court of its birth name?
    Phoenix: Umm... Phoenix Wright... Your Honor.
    Judge: Ah, what a relief. I thought you'd forgotten your own name... Again.
    Mia: I was beginning to think he forgot too.
    Phoenix: Wait a second... I screwed up didn't I?
    Mia: Big time.
  • The ending of the trial. Franziska goes crazy and whips Phoenix unconscious. Although this is actually Phoenix's fault for shooting his mouth too soon:
    Franziska: Th-This... This is preposterous! I... I'm perfect! Me... Franziska von Karma...
    (Out of anger, Franziska whips Phoenix, the Judge and Mimi Miney once. She soon starts whipping Phoenix multiple times in a frenzy.)
    Franziska: And one more for good measure! (whips Phoenix four times and Phoenix faints unconscious)
  • The Judge's response to Phoenix losing consciousness at von Karma's final barrage is to nonchalantly note that he will need some time to recover, delivered in the same tone as the rest of his "Right, that wraps things up here" remarks.

     Turnabout Big Top 
  • When you examine the snack stand in the circus entrance, Maya will notice they are selling snow cones and asks Phoenix to buy some. This conversation is the result:
    Maya: Nick... Do you think we can buy some snow cones?
    Phoenix: Look around... There's tons of snow piled up all around here!
    Maya: (nods) YAY!!! Wait a second... There's no syrup though! I want syrup!
    Phoenix: (Hopefully she doesn't notice that discolored snow in the corner. That's not syrup!)
  • Phoenix's reaction to all the Ringmaster's donations to the Robot Clown Research Center.
    Phoenix: What!? They may be a perfectly reputable charity in the field of advanced tomfoolery!
  • Moe asks Phoenix to stop being so down and deliver a "funny" joke himself.
    Phoenix: Why am I, Phoenix Wright, such a great lawyer? Because I am "Wright" all of the time!
    (Cue awkward look from Maya and a dead stare from Moe)
    • Don't worry, it eventually catches on.
  • "Wonderful. Today's special must be Fillet O' Phoenix!"
  • When Phoenix is attempting to get Money the Monkey to drop what he's holding, there are three options on how to act: "Man to Man", "Man to Monkey", and "Monkey to Monkey." "Monkey to Monkey" is by far the most humiliating for Phoenix and is hilarious.
  • Just before the trial starts, Max is trying to come up with ways to wow the crowd like he would if he were performing, and asks if it would be wise to fly in. Phoenix and Maya convince him not to, but right before leaving he suggests having Phoenix fly:
    Max: (to Phoenix) Why don’t you try flying into the courtroom?
    Phoenix: ...
    Max: I can see it now… The dashing young lawyer flying fabulously in from above! One glimpse of that, and everyone in the room will be on your side!
    Maya: Max... Really... No one needs to fly today. ... Nick? What’s with that look in your eyes?
    Phoenix: (I like the sound of that… "Dashing young lawyer flying fabulously...")
  • The start of the trial, where the Judge doesn't even get to finish his very first sentence before Franziska starts whipping everybody.
    • Speaking of more whipping shenanigans, you know that "surprise take of everyone in the courtroom" scene that keeps happening throughout the series? Yeah, von Karma interrupts that with her whip.
  • Puppet marriage rights. That is all.
  • Every time Trilo or Maya asks the court to call out Max's three symbols, the entire court responds with the answer: "SILK HAT! CLOAK! WHITE ROSES!" When Moe asks the court the same thing, he's simply met with, ".........."
  • This line:
    Trilo: Let me lay it out for you: The pay sucks, the job sucks, and my partner has his hand up my pants!
  • Trilo's "Damaged" animation. It's more the face he makes than his arms and head flying off.
  • During Trilo's cross-examination about proposing to Regina, pressing him on a certain statement will make him say that he had an engagement ring. Everyone's reaction to this is just all sorts of priceless.
    • Franziska in particular does not find this amusing, and prepares her whip, to which Phoenix is given two options, one of which is "Pain equals bad." Yes. We're serious.
  • Once Phoenix reveals that Trilo lost said engagement ring, he then states that this reveals something important, and you're given two choices: "Ben's testimony has a flaw." and "Ben doesn't exercise enough." Pick the latter...
    Phoenix: Obviously that one Mr. Benjamin Woodman is lacking in the area of exercise!!
    Judge: ...
    Franziska: ...
    Trilo: ...
    Phoenix: This is clear from the testimony we have just listened to!! He was too slow and awkward to catch a monkey fleeing through the snow!! (This revelation doesn't seem to be registering too well around the courtroom...)
    Maya: Maybe you should leave the courtroom drama for video games and rethink that one...
    (penalty)
  • From the second part of the first trial, when Franziska whips Moe:
    • Similarly, reciting the intro to "The C-Team" with references to clowns.
    • Moe said that was because he was stalling while he tried to jog his memory. When he finally thought of something, the judge asks him if he's "back from [his] jog."
  • "Objection! I... I... I object... For objection's sake..."
  • Phoenix seems... very interested in Max's bust. He then tries to correct himself.
    • This is what Moe has to say about:
      Moe: He showed me his bust too. Let me tell you, that thing is enormous!
  • Phoenix going after Money to retrieve Regina's jacket is funny enough on its own, but the music starts to play the "Cornered" theme as if the whole thing was entirely serious.
  • Phoenix declaring that the victim was killed with "the force of gravity and Maximillion Galactica's ample bust". He means a bust of Max made of bronze, not Max's actual chest.
  • The Judge allowing the bailiff to smack people in the face if they make too much noise.
    Judge: Twice, if you must!
  • When Phoenix accuses Acro, his pet hummingbird decides to peck Phoenix repeatedly in the face.
  • Phoenix is a poopyhead!!
  • If you choose to not present evidence when the Judge asks how Acro killed the Ringmaster:
    Franziska: Ahh... I think we will finally be graced with an explanation!
    Phoenix: Don't push it, Von Karma!
    Franziska: Wha... WHAT!?
    Phoenix: You aren't gonna suck me in this time. I'm smart enough to know when I don't have the cards to play and my hand sucks right now.
    Judge: ... Uhh... What do you mean, Mr. Wright?
    Franziska: He means that everything he's said up until now has all been nonsense.
    Phoenix: Uh.
  • Presenting the wrong thing when the Judge asks you what evidence you have that proves Acro's motive for killing the Ringmaster:
    Phoenix: Take that!
    Judge: Umm... Let me just go over this one more time... This is why Acro killed the Ringmaster?
    Phoenix: Correct.
    Franziska: I don't think the defense would mind confirming something for me. What exactly are we supposed to learn from this piece of evidence?
    Phoenix: What are you supposed to learn... Hmm...
    Franziska: Looks like you just won the award for Biggest Failure In Court.
    Maya: Ouch... Biggest Failure In Court... That stings!
    Judge: In recognition of your honor, let me bestow you with my special prize!
    (20% penalty)
  • The Judge's reaction if you accuse him of being the murderer near the very end. Even though it'll cause an instant game over if you've received so much as a single penalty during the second day of the trial, it's well worth doing so, just to see how hard the Judge can hit the Berserk Button. Two for the price of one penalty!
    Phoenix: It's... Um... Um.................
    Judge: W-W-W-What!? Why you did you stop talking all of a sudden!?
    Phoenix: Well... I'm just not really sure if I should say anything or not because the bust is...(Phoenix gets whipped) Under Your Honor's bench!
    Franziska: ...You had to think about whether it was a good idea to say that!?
    Judge: GWWWWAAAAHHHH!! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!? THAT'S A PENALTY!!
    (45% penalty)
    Phoenix: Arrrgghhh!
    Judge: WHAT'S THAT!? YOU WANT A DOUBLE!? HERE YA GO!!
    (50% penalty)note 
    Phoenix: Double arrrggghhh!! (Ahh... I knew I had a bad feeling about that...)
  • Near the very end of the trial, we get this little gem:
    Maya: Where is Max's bust...? The defense needs time to prepare to present it's lace... I mean case. Sorry, I'm a bit nervous and I just bit my tongue.
    Judge: Huh?
    Franziska: What?
    Phoenix: (in signature finger-pointing pose) We need time to do WHAT!?!? (whipped by Franziska) OWWW!!
    Franziska: Why are you the most surprised person here!? She's YOUR aide, isn't she!?

     Farewell, My Turnabout 
  • Here is an official Spanish-English translation for Juan Corrida's last name. Apparently, that guy really was a dick.
    • The official spanish translation has his name changed from Juan Corrida to Juan Rivera, making for people who played the game in spanish (like this troper), learning about Juan's actual lastname is funny to say the least.
  • Gumshoe decides to give Pearl the marvelous advice of: "Don't ever pick up a whip, OK? Don't even think about it. If you ever find yourself thinking you want one, try to make do with a good slap to the face. Got that? Slap the person in the face."
    • This becomes even funnier later on, since Pearls clearly takes this advice deeply to heart whenever she gets mad at Phoenix for what she perceives as cheating on Maya.
  • Try to ask Oldbag about what she witnessed of the murder and you'll be presented with four Psyche-Locks. Looks like you have a daunting task ahead of you trying to pry that information out of her...until you come across the victim's autograph made out to a "Wendy" (Oldbag was a huge fan of his) and she'll want it so bad that all four locks will break at once.
  • Yet another one involving Edgeworth: Just after he reappears, he reacts to hearing Engarde's motto, "Refreshing like a spring breeze," with a surprisingly vehement, "R- Refreshing?! And what is so refreshing about a spring breeze?!" Phoenix's internal commentary on the subject:
    (Sounds like the pollen is not treating him well this year...)
  • This exchange:
    Gumshoe: Any real detective would look at his bandana!
    Judge: Mmm, banana.
    Edgeworth: That's "bandana", Your Honor.
    Judge: Right, his banana-scented bandana.
  • Edgeworth's back! He's calm, he's cool, he's collected, he's got a kickass new theme song and he's effortlessly shooting down any attempts on Phoenix's part to prove his client's innocence. Then Wendy Oldbag shows up on the witness stand and his composure instantly vanishes.
  • A lot of stuff having to do with Oldbag:
    • Edgeworth calling her "the wicked witch of the witness stand".
    • Right before that, when she uses her ray gun, Edgeworth's calm composure goes out, and he again starts to resemble a zombie with the stomach flu.
    • Her constant *rat-at-at-at* "tasering".
    • Also, when Oldbag rants after being pressed a few times, an annoyed Edgeworth gives us this gem:
      Edgeworth: You really should come with a supply of cheese to match your vintage whine.
    • "This is my top secret list of groceries to buyyyyyyy!"
    • "You're lying, dammit! And I can prove it!"
    • The Something We Forgot scene involving her during the credits.
      Oldbag: How long are they going to leave me screening the hotel?
    • If you press Oldbag at the right time, Phoenix will get frustrated with her for stalling during her testimony, to which she'll react by stalling even longer by just singing the Nickel Samurai theme song until Edgeworth bribes her with a stick of gum.
      Edgeworth: Wright, I'll be sending the bill for the chewing gum to your office at a later date.
      • Which is immediately followed by Phoenix mentally making a note to respond to that with a "Thank You" letter.
  • Oldbag's reaction when the Jammin' Ninja's Button, which is covered in blood, is presented in court.
    Oldbag: Aaaah! It's button number 2 on the Jammin' Ninja's costume!
    Phoenix: (Now I KNOW she's an obsessed fan... She identified it in a single glance!)
    Oldbag: Give it here! Give it here! If you don't give it to me, I'll punish you with this! (uses her ray gun)
    Phoenix: (Wow... She really is a die-hard fan to want a button covered in blood...)
  • Edgeworth saying, "This isn't the "Phoenix Wright Wax Philosophical Power Hour"!"
  • If you select the wrong location on the Nickel Samurai photo. This happens:
    Phoenix: The strange thing is somewhere around here! ...I think.
    Edgeworth: "Somewhere"...?
    Judge: "Around here"...?
    Mia: "I think"...?
    Phoenix: A-Am I seeing something you all are not...?
    Judge: Hmm, it looks like there was no problem with this photo after all.
    Edgeworth: The problem was with the brain of that lawyer, Your Honor.
  • When Phoenix, Edgeworth, Gumshoe, and Pearl visit the hospital to see how Franziska was doing after being shot by De Killer in the shoulder they meet "Director Hotti" again. Edgeworth doesn't know that the "Director" is really a fake (Phoenix even comments on that). Here's as follows:
    Hotti: [...]Hmm, yes...she's in good hands...because, you see...I'm personally taking good care of her...hee hee. Hmm, yes...and that thing...that surgery...it went well. [...] She looked so pitiful; absolutely terrified, [...] And when I snuck up on her real secret-like, she would scream really loud. Ah, but she's really cute too. When I'd do that, she'd whip me with her whip...Boy did I cry like a baby... But think I could get used to it. (promptly gets whipped again)
  • Examining the giant stuffed bear in Juan Corrida's will eventually prompt it being added into the Court Record, with the line 'Bear snatched up by Edgeworth'. Just the mental image of Edgeworth struggling to get a life-sized bear statue out the door and then hauling it across town is enough to make anyone laugh. Or imagining him nonchalantly putting it in his pocket.
  • "A THIRTY-EIGHT-HUNDRED DOLLAR TOOTHBRUSH?!" Engarde explains that it has elephant hair for bristles.
  • Right before court begins on the second day, Phoenix gets a call from Engarde, taunting him about the fact that he's defending a guilty client. Shortly after, he gets another call...
    Phoenix: (Argh! It's that accursed Engarde again...)
    Phone: ...*beep*...
    Phoenix: WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!? Look, don't call me anymore! I mean it!
    Gumshoe: ...You're really mean, pal.
  • Will Powers' testimony spurs some great one-liners from Phoenix:
    Phoenix: (discussing whether Shelly de Killer disguised as the bellboy is suspicious) A baseball has stitches! Are you saying that all baseballs are suspicious because they have stitches?!
    Phoenix: A football is made of leather! Are you saying all footballs are suspicious because they are made of leather?!
    • And even before that, there's an even better exchange.
      Phoenix: Hold it! The defendant's room? Why did you go there?
      Powers: Well, I'm his mentor, like a big brother sort of, and I wanted to say congrats... ... ...
      Judge: Wh-What's wrong? Why did you stop?
      Powers: M-M-Mr. Wright!
      Phoenix: Wh-Wh-What is it?
      Powers: You... You're going to try to trick me into a corner, aren't you?
      Phoenix: Huh?
      Powers: I... I know I'm just a poor, underpaid action star, but... But... I... I'm not the killer!
      Phoenix: (sweating) Um, no one said you were, Mr. Powers.
      Powers: No, please! Don't trick me! Every time you do your lawyer thing, the witness suddenly turns into the bad guy...
      Phoenix: (sweating) ("Every time"...?)
  • "If I could get huge rolls of cash just for bringing people things on trays, then why on Earth would I be standing around here prosecuting?!"
  • The funniest part while pressing Andrews on her second statement is the Judge acting like a child when playing with the bear puzzle.
    Andrews: If you know the correct order, it can be taken apart one piece at a time.
    Phoenix: Hold it! So you can "take it apart"? And how would one go about doing that?
    Andrews: Well, you first turn its tail to the right and then push it in.
    Judge: (juggles with the bear) ...Oh, yes, I see.
    Andrews: After that, the arms and legs are free to move and can be removed.
    Judge: Ooh... (plays with the bear some more) This is most interesting...
    Phoenix: (sweats) (A boy and his new toy... It's like he's 5 all over again...)
    Judge: (juggles with the bear some more) ...Oh, don't mind me. Go ahead and carry on.
    Phoenix: (sweats) (I think he's lost it...)
  • This bit of dialogue showing that shouting "Objection!" at the top of your lungs is considered Serious Business in the Ace Attorney universe:
    Phoenix: ...I have an objection, Your Honor.
    Edgeworth: Hmph. That was about the weakest objection I've ever heard, Mr. Wright.
    Phoenix: Objection! Your Honor! The defense has no intentions of letting this go so easily!
  • Phoenix tossing his cellphone across the courtroom to Edgeworth. Take that! indeed.
    • The developers found it necessary to include the original Japanese GBA trilogy's version of a "Take That!": animating the cellphone's Court Record picture spinning and shrinking right after that to simulate the phone throw. It is completely unnecessary and hilariously unexpected, especially since the DS version and later rereleases do not use the spinning animation normally.
    • Also, since they're in court, Edgeworth just TURNS IT OFF while Gumshoe's on the other end, going on about the evidence he got.
  • When court reconvenes after the 30 minute recess in which the handwriting on the suicide note found in the bear puzzle is analyzed, both Phoenix and Edgeworth are doing their panicked animations (that is, flop sweat and zombie with stomach flu, respectively) as soon as they're asked whether they're ready to resume the trial.
  • Late in the case, fail to provide a proper objection about why Engarde would want to obtain a suicide note that he would have known was a forgery and the judge will figure it out himself. But then Phoenix finishes his thought, leading the judge to get angry at him for stealing his thunder and give him another penalty.
    Judge: I could've even bragged about embarrassing Mr. Edgeworth to my grandchild had you not...
  • Interrogating de Killer via a transceiver. The transceiver's Face Faults (you read that right) are the icing on the cake. Also worthy of mention is the transceiver's sweating what seems to be battery acid while under pressure as well as breaking apart once taken by shock.
  • The pressing of Shelly de Killer.
    • When De Killer mentions how his client has broken the rules and how it's a trespass he won't forgive, The judge responds in turn with this:
      Judge: You... Who gave you the right to be so high and mighty...!?
      de Killer: To the gentleman who spoke just now... Excuse me, but would you care to die?
Needless to say, the judge shuts up after that.

  • Also this gem:
    Phoenix: How much is your fee...?
    de Killer: ... I see you are also quite a dark-hearted man, Mr. Attorney...
    Phoenix: Huh?
    de Killer: If you would like to talk business, we can do so after the trial...
    Phoenix: Ack! NONONO! I'm not thinking of hiring—
    Judge: M-M-Mr. Wright!!
    Phoenix: Y-Yes!?
    Judge: Y-Y-You... You want to kill me... You want me dead... DON'T YOU!?!?
    Phoenix: Whaaaat!? Why would you think something like that, Your Hon—
    Judge: Guilty! MR. PHOENIX WRIGHT! You are hereby declared GUILTY!!
    Edgeworth: (completely unmoved) ...Witness. Let's continue.
  • On that note, the fact that this witness constantly offers his services to Phoenix - even suggesting he become the next de Killer at one point - is hilarious in and of itself.
  • Presenting the wrong evidence when trying to prove that de Killer met with his client:
    Phoenix: So! What do you think!?
    de Killer: ... You may say, "What do you think?"... However, I am for all intents and purposes, a transceiver radio.
    Phoenix: Oh... That's right, you can't actually see the evidence...
    de Killer: Well, I don't think this was one I needed to see. I can hear the pure silence in the air there.
    (20% penalty)
  • If you claim that de Killer's client wanted the tape so that they could watch Juan get murdered:
    Phoenix: They wanted to witness the moment Juan Corrida died! Your client was going to sit on their fluffy soft sofa... Sip some coffee and pretend they were at a film festival!
    de Killer: That... That's... I don't think that sounds like a very enjoyable hobby...
    Phoenix: Well, Your Honor!?
    Judge: ... Well, what do you think, Mr. Edgeworth...?
    Edgeworth: Uh... Um... I... don't have anything to say to this...
    Judge: Hmm... How about you, Ms. von Karma?
    Franziska: ... Well, I was just shot, so...
  • Maya couldn't help but change a relief moment into a laughing one: "H-Hey! I'm not an item!"
  • Choosing to plead "Not Guilty" at the end results in this:
    Phoenix: Congratulations, Mr. Matt Engarde.
    Engarde: ...!
    Phoenix: Please make sure to savor every moment of what little time you have left. Your Honor! As always, the defense pleads not guilty.
    Judge: Very well. This court finds the defendant, Matt Engarde...
    Engarde: HOLD IT! P-Please wait...
    Judge: What's the matter?
    Engarde: If... If I get a not guilty... I'll... I'll be... killed...
    Judge: ...?
    Engarde: I'm... I'm... Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!Guiltyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Guuuuuilty!!!GGG—Guuiiillltyyyy!!!GGGUUUILLLTYYY!!GUILTY!!!GuiLTy!!guIIIltYY!!Guil—guilty!guilty!GUilTY!GUILTY!
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