open/close all folders
Resident Evil Retribution
- "Barry Celebration time!!"(After quoting Barry's lines) "Barry doesn't do it at all in this movie, so bet your ass I'm going to do it."
- Phelous actually returned to watch RE-Extinction to count all the naked-Alice visible in the final shot.Phelous: I hope you enjoy the pointlessness I put myself throught for these videos. You don't? Cool.
- After Alice destroyed the screen showing Wesker only to have his picture pop up somewhere else, Phelous has Wesker actually explain to her he is not really there and it's just a screen.
- Wesker informs Alice "the human race faces extinction":Phelous: Oh, fuck, no one should have to sit through that film again!
- Alice asks Wesker to "explain Tokyo":Phelous!Wesker: It's a place in Japan.Phelous!Alice: I meant that spot that looks like it in here!Phelous!Wesker: ... Oh. Well, I don't know. Again, I'm not really there, Alice!
- "And now we return to the "Alice Show", where we must save Alice because she's so damn important" (Alice's face mid-sentence, looking stupid) "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!!!"
- The face was also used previously when pointing out Suburbia!Alice didn't bother to check if "Nicedriguez" was still alive after she picked them.Phelous: (Stupid!Alice face pops up) Assholeeee!
- Part 2 uses it again.Phelous!Alice: (Sending Becky alone) Hey, run up ahead. I'll check my wound by myself, That way you can possibly get killed by a zombie by yourself. (Stupid!Alice face pops up) Duuhuuu!
- The face was also used previously when pointing out Suburbia!Alice didn't bother to check if "Nicedriguez" was still alive after she picked them.
- After pointing out that the Red Queen created zombies that can shoot at people:Phelous: Wow. Just, wow. I don't even care anymore. She may as well just pull out the rainbow-unicorn-zombie-she-created-online-made-real-from-a-virtual butt rain acid from the ceiling shoot them with his laser eyes. (All completed with a drawing of said unicorn)
- Then another plot-hole from the Red Queen comes.Phelous: Get ready for all the answers when the unicorn shows up!
- Then another plot-hole from the Red Queen comes.
- In both parts, Phelous points out Alice is "supposed" to NOT having powers, still kicking zombie ass.
- ''"Bye, Nicedriguez. You might have been completely pointless to the plot, but you showed me Michelle Rodriguez playing a different character"
- His utter disgust to Barry's death scene.Phelous!Barry: (gets killed) Glad I was in this movie...Phelous: Good waste of your Barry, Retribution. (adopts Barry voice) You're a stupidity sandwich.Phelous: THIS MOVIE IS A FARCE! A FUCKING FARCE!
- Also another big offender to him was that Barry and Jill never got to interact unlike the games, so he puts repetitions of their game exchanges.Phelous: I don't care! It was worth it.
- Also another big offender to him was that Barry and Jill never got to interact unlike the games, so he puts repetitions of their game exchanges.
Jason Goes to Hell
- The ending skit with Freddy Michael Voorhees.Phelous: Oh shit! "Jason" is gonna talk again, and he's not even possessing anyone this time!Phelous: Lame.
Silent Hill Revelation
- The movie opens on the shot of a girl's ass, prompting Phelous to comment this movie is showing the part of the body it came from.
- After the Exposition Dump where the little girl told her baby-sitter the story of Smiley and how he shut his eyes down and carved his mouth into a smile:Phelous!Baby-Sitter: Why did he do that?Phelous!Little girl: I don't know, he was bored...
- Upon hearing Smiley shows up everywhere on the internet, Phelous assumes it must be an internet ghost, and proceeds to immediately protect himself with red ducktape. By using it as a blindfold.Phelous: Trust me, I'm safer this way!
- "Unfortunately, it's time to meet the main character: Ashley. We'll be calling her Ashhole, for reasons you'll see..."
- The main character's acting is so bad and unnatural Phelous becomes convinced she is either an alien or a robot.
- The teacher explains his class is about ethics:
Phelous!Teacher (in a monotonous, barely audible voice): Now, I'm just gonna keep blabbing on and on about something that doesn't really have to do with anything so this movie can think that it's deeper than it really is, but I'm gonna talk, and talk, and talk, with a really dull tone and go really low so you can barely hear me THEN LOUD then really quite again. (to one of the students) ... Don't I know you from Annoying Orange?Phelous!Student: Yeah, they got us Youtube people to be bit parts in this as a reason to watch it.Phelous!Teacher: Hah! Let's not kid ourselves, there's no reason to watch this.
- Which is followed by his summary of all the (very boring) classroom scenes in this movie:
- Phelous grows more and more irritated with the movie constantly trying to turn Proxy into a Jump Scare even when it makes absolutely no sense to have one and when the movie does nothing but have her stand there while playing a jump scare dramatic music.
- Phelous gets sick of the movie and begs it to give him something interesting. The movie then gives him... another teacher scene.Phelous: Well, thanks movie, that is exactly the opposite of what I asked.
- When the characters who made the entire prank at the end of the movie declare themselves Anonymous despite not actually being Anonymous for the heck of it, Phelous asks why they stopped the bullshit here and didn't also say they were The Illuminati:Phelous!Zane: I'm sure the Illuminati wouldn't agree with this.Phelous!Shane Dawson: Fuck those guys! We're the REAL Illuminati! And I'm the President!Phelous!Zane: I'm not sure the White House would agree with this.Phelous!Shane Dawson: Thanks, Obama! Y'know, he says I'M off-message? HE'S off-message! I'm the REAL president!Phelous: Wow, I can't believe the President of the United States, the Illuminati, the resurrected KGB and the UN all teamed up to make the most convoluted plan in the universe to kill a random girl! THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SAID THAT!
- Phelous decides to try the movie's gimmick on Sad Panda by typing "I did it for the lolz" three times on a conversation with him:SadPanda: Good thing I know how to use internet cheat codes. (types something, resulting in the three "I did it for the lolz" being now typed by him. Phelous raises his head, and see... a flying smiley looking at him)Phelous (amazed): It's so stupid!
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
- As Phelous prepares for the review, he looks for a suitable Hyde in the mirror until he finds Sub-Zero. They each tell him to "do something else", while he responds with a deadpan "no". It gets funnier when Ed Glaser shows up in the mirror.
- Joking that Jon Stewart composed the music for this movie before doing The Daily Show note "IT'S SPELT DIFFERENTLY!!!"
- Pointing out how stupid it is for Dr. Jekyll to make the potion that turns him into Mr. Hyde with poison, then gives up."ZRRGHDGDGH...! Cheers." (drinks a vial of poison)
- "Yes, I am Mr. POOF!"
- "It's almost like people thought the tortured tale of a man with an evil split personality who goes out and murders wouldn't make a good children's cartoon...idiots!"
- The running gag where Lanyon just can't get over that conversation!
- "Stop me if you dare! Ooh, you stopped me! I'm easily defeated!"
- "I have an important task for you, Jekyll." "You will help me destroy Spider-Man!"
- Additionally, "Obey me, Wario, I am your master..."
- ♪Paul, the Genius DUMBASS!♪
- Phelous gives BB his own voice acting; his Cookie Monster voice is fitting for the robot.
- "Paul, the Genius Dumbass" is responsible for BB being unable to speak because he keeps pulling out memory cards on BB's motherboard.Phelous!BB: BB finally learning to talk-Phelous!Paul: Hey, BB, the paperboy wants to see your brain. (removes it)BB: Argh! (deactivates)Phelous!Paul: Look at it, looks like a chipboard. (chuckles) (puts it back)Phelous!BB: (distorted) BB finally learning to (devolves into gibberish)
- The dead-on comparison of BB's voice to the Tasmanian Devil.
- A minor Running Gag comes in the form of editing in Nestor Cunningham's "All right!" during scenes that involve Sam's dad... which manages to make the scene of him knocking Sam down the stairs a bit of Black Comedy since, due to editing, that is practically all he says during it.
- During Sam's nightmare of stabbing her dad with a broken glass vase, Dixie-land music is editing in over it.
- Said music is later edited in during BB's death scene by shotgun.
- "Now it's time to check if Paul killed his mom. Yes, really."
- This quote:Phelous: ♪Domo arigato, Mrs. Roboto! Domo DOMO-♪Phelous!BB: But BB's MISTER Roboto!Phelous!Sam: But Sam's MRS. Roboto!Phelous: CRITICAL ERROR!
- In a Call-Back to his Troll 2 review, him scoring the infamous basketball-to-the-head scene with Also Sprach Zarathustra.
- Phelous keeps cutting to the basketball-to-the-head scene as shorthand for, well, everything. Explanation of how stupid the movie is? Headsplosion. Sam displaying superstrength? Headsplosion. This movie is stupid? Headsplosion! Headsplosion doesn't explain anything? HEADSPLOSION!
- Apparently, Paul punching Tom's head repeatedly until Headsplosion is too silly, so instead Sam's going to jump out a window and "beat Tom's head into the ground until he dies of injuries".
- "Oh, man, a robot in the family! That's wacky!" as a reference to Lupa's review of "Robot in the Family."
- The rather nonchalant way Phelous says that "Tom's recovering from his latest concussion after playing in traffic".
- During the absurd ending to the film, Phelous' excited "No...really?!"
- While his review of Jacob's Ladder is mostly depressing, due to Phelous acting more cynical and how it ends, it does have a funny moment where he talks about a scene he likes in the movie where Jacob hears a voice say "Dream on" in the hospital and the source is never shown. He wonders what would happen if those responsible for Silent Hill: Revelation 3D had written the scene. Cue the clip being edited with the infamous poptart jump scare and a Scare Chord.
- At the start of the review, he admits that the film isn't really a "fun movie". And then we have a soldier spinning around and screaming set to "The Hills Are Alive".
Aladdin: The Adventure of All Time
- The opening of the video handwaves the dramatic ending of Jacob's Ladder like it was another of Phelous's regular deaths.
- The Running Gag of Paige's grandfather getting out his gun.
- Humpty-Dumpty's graphic note death.
- After Aladdin and Paige make Blackbeard into what he is with the magic lamp, Aladdin cuts his beard, much to Phelous' aggravation."YOU DID THIS TO HIM, YOU STUPID ALADDIN-HOLE!"
- Phelous notes that Cleopatra's servant girls wear really skimpy outfits, which normally show the underside of their breasts that barely cover their nipples. Then there is an off model shot of them that makes it look like they're wearing crotchless pants.Phelous: WHAT THE FUUUCK?! Time for my rating: Aladdin and the Adventure of All Time gets a hard R for nudity!
- His horrified reaction to the film's running time.Paige's grandfather: That's because this story is about time and time has no ending.Phelous: Pfft! We'll see about that. (zooms in on running time, shows the infinity symbol) AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!
- Phelous notes that one of the recently released prisoners from prison is a skeleton, who prances around the street. He grimly says that now this undead abomination shall walk the earth forever!
- This bit of dialogue:Scheherazade: "...I'm going to hide the lamp in a place it will never be found."Scheherazade!Phelous: "My vagina!"
- His completely tearing apart the movie's honestly twisted and horrific Moral Dissonance (the villain is evil for trying to change history, but our "heroes" are directly responsible for history's greatest villains and atrocities and we're supposed to praise them for it) is as hilarious as it is awesome.
- Phelous playing Shredder's song about hating music over Scheherazade's Villain Song.Phelous: Oh, wait, it's not that dumb.Scheherazade: ♪The knack for being mean seems to suit me. And as I've said, being mean is kind of fun!♪Phelous: Oh, wait, yes it is.
The Time Machine (I Found At a Yard Sale)
- This entire 2-part review is an overflowing barrel of laughs.
- The dinosaur and Phelous and Lupa's reactions to it.Phelous!Dinosaur: You guys are jerks; at least I tried!
- Lupa's offscreen Skyward Scream during the belly dancer sequence.
- Fat Grandma steals the show.
- LOOK AT THESE TWITS DOING A LAME REVIEW
- Referring to Sheba as Grimace due to the purple veil she wore.
- On that note...Sheba: Where will I live?
Phelous: In Grimace's hollowed-out carcass, you stupid future middle-aged baby!
Lupa: That's mean.
Phelous: Okay, she can live with NOT-DEAD Grimace then.
(Lupa crosses her arms)
- On that note...
- This exchange:Lupa: Hey Phelan, I hope you like candy more than having your guts ripped out your ass and shoved back down your throat!
Phelous: ... You read me like a book.
- Every instance involving Lupa's cat Ash.
- At one point, Phelous and Lupa are shrunken as this happens:Phelous: Did we shrink?
Lupa: No, we got bigger. I'm the smart one.
(Ash inhales and eats Lupa)
Ash: Well, it is now. (eats Phelous)
- While Phelous questions why Robert would want to steal a spaceship as he and Lupa are in Ash's stomachnote :
- At one point, Phelous and Lupa are shrunken as this happens:
- Making fun of the cave backgrounds and the supposed make-out scene. They use the inside of a litter box for their take on it. It doesn't get "beautiful" until a stream of urine pours over it.
- And the cave walking shots where Phelous and Lupa walk past lettuce, an orange, Fat Grandma, Andrew Dickman, and cereal.
- The recurring tuba-and-banjo music plays over Robert and Sheba's ship being attacked.
- Upon seeing the movie is produced by "This is not a Dream production":Phelous: Can it be? And one that I don't remember?
- In order to demonstrate how the movie drags in, the entire review has the movie narrated by Phelous imitating the narrator and giving every single unimportant detail while skipping the few actual death scenes ("Anyway to make a long story short, Santa killed them."), all of this in the goofiest, silliest voice he could manage before he came up with Old Man.Narrator: And theeeen she decided to take a shower.Woman: I don't think I need to hear that...Narrator: It's very important to the story!
Phelous (barely containing his rage): ...Narrator: And then she put her panties on.Phelous (rushing at the camera): I'LL KILL YOU!
- The above mentioned-shower scene, along with a side-by-side scene of the other girl picking rocks, runs for four minutes and fourty seconds causing this reaction from Phelous:
- After pointing out how unlikely it is that the narrator somehow is able to narrate these stories in so many ridiculously accurate details despite not only not having been there, but not remembering the victims' names, Phelous has him spell out even more ridiculously accurate details, including what the road was made from and the name of a caterpillar who briefly shew up in a scene.
- "Anyway, to make a long story short, Santa broke the window."
- This part of Phelous's end-of-review sketch.Santa: ...and now I will destroy Christmas forever!
Phelous: I can't let you do that, Santa! And now we must FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
Cut to Phelous back on his couch.
Phelous: Anyway to make a long story short, Santa killed me.
The Gingerdead Man
- Phelous makes it seem like the reason why James says "Put your gun down, please." multiple times while Millard holds him at gunpoint... is because Millard kept not liking the way he said it.
- "Oh no, we're out of Johns Daphne. What are the kids gonna do without their whiskey cookies?"
- Cookie Monster saving the day.