Funny / Pawn Stars

• Old Man driving around in a very small, 2-seater, three-wheeled electric car, while belting out Dull Surprise "wheeeee"'s the whole time.
  Rick: (coming out to the parking lot) Dad?! What in the hell are you doing?!
  Old Man: This is pretty fun. Wheeeee~
• When the Old Man wanted to drive the Shelby Cobra first on the race track. Everyone watched to see how fast he would go and he took off at a whopping... 30 miles per hour. He didn't even drive fast enough to mess up his hair.
  • At least he has hair.
• Chumlee admonishing the wooden puppets that Old Man purchased earlier in the episode, as if they were actual employees and he was displeased with their poor performance.
• The Swear Jar. That entire sequence is gold.
  Old Man: (counting the money) God damn; this is a lot of fuckin' swearin'."
• Robosaurus. Chumlee and Corey watching it in action. The owner, Brooke, joked that it should go after Corey and Chum Lee's bikes. Hilarity Ensues.
• And then there was the archery contest Rick, Corey and Chumlee had with a hybrid bow Rick bought. Chumlee went first, and his shot didn't even hit the target, sticking into the bare wall almost a foot and a half away. Then Corey takes his shot, which went even further away and higher up to boot. Rick admonishes his son for losing to Chumlee and then takes his shot...which ends up something like four feet away from the target and ends up in the bare wall. To top it all off, Chumlee had made a bet with the other guys, and he offers to waive the money they owe him if they sing for him. Rick and Corey are both extremely embarassed, but they still have enough dignity to refuse Chumlee's offer and pay him the bet.
• Rick takes a bath on what he thought was an Indian vest, losing $1300 on it. Corey decides to make him Never Live It Down at the end of the episode, screwing with him this way and that.
  Chumlee: Hey, I think I found a buyer for the vest!
  (Chumlee put the vest on an Alvin marionette purchased earlier in the day.)
  Old Man: (Face Palm)
• The Old Man. Playing a Virtual Boy.
  Old Man: Hey, this is kind of neat. Mario's Tennis. Whoopee.
• The demonstration of the Rickenbacker lap-steel guitar:
  Chumlee: I feel like I'm tripping.
  Rick: (dies laughing)
• Chumlee fixes up a not-working model RC car, getting it to run again (and winning $50 from Rick). He then takes the money and buys some chicken wings for him and the Old Man. At the end of the episode:
  Old Man: (eating) These are some damn good wings, Chumlee.
  Chumlee: (eating) Yeah.
  Old Man: Uh, oh...my heart just stopped...(punches himself in the chest a few times)
  (Cut away to storefront)
  Old Man: There we go.
• Hilarity Ensues as the computers in the shop crash for most of the day. Hilarious in that:
  • a) Chumlee and Corey have no idea how to fill out forms manually (even asking the Old Man what SS No. meant^note Social Security number) and
  • b) Old Man taking to playing solitaire with an actual deck of cards instead of on his computer. Corey sneaks the Ace and ten of spades from the deck without Old Man noticing.
• Old Man on horror films, when someone brings in old Freddy Krueger toys:
  Old Man: I don't understand horror films. If you want horror, have a couple of kids.
  • The credits scene has the Old Man examining one of the talking Freddy Krueger action figures. After staring at it for a second, he presses the button and grins when it spouts off a cheesy Kreuger phrase from the movies.
• The Halloween costume contest. Rick goes as Dr. Evil (which, sadly, flies over the heads of Old Man and Corey); Chumlee goes as Justin Bieber (which flies well over the head of Old Man, who can't even pronounce the name properly); Old Man goes as Rooster Cogburn (Rick guesses it's Roy Rogers); and Corey...just sticks a knife-through-your-head headband on and phones it in. The winner? Antwaun, who comes dressed as "the world's biggest baby."
  Old Man: What the hell, give him the hundred bucks!
  • The money is actually in store credit, causing both Corey and Antwaun to call them cheap upon hearing about it.
    Rick: For Halloween this year, everyone's gotta wear a costume. There is gonna be a prize.
    Chumlee: What's the prize?
    Rick: Hundred dollars.
    Chumlee: Sweet!
    Rick: In store credit.
    Corey: God, you're cheap.
    (at the end of the episode)
    Antwaun: Yeah, sweet, a hundred bucks.
    Old Man: Hundred dollars worth of store credit, Antwaun.
    Antwaun: Cheapest bosses ever.
• Finding a rare Jimi Hendrix portrait, with Corey intending to use it as a Father's Day gift. And the seller said it wasn't his "style":
  Chumlee: How can Jimi Hendrix not be your style?
  Seller: He's just...not my style.
  Chumlee and Corey: ...
• Someone sells a loudspeaker from Ebbet's Field. Old Man uses it to bark announcements to the customers throughout the episode...until Rick disconnects the mic and takes it from him.
• The end of Teacher's Pet. Chumlee has been teaching Antwaun about the pawn business, and after he makes a good buy Chumlee tells him it's time to clean up. He goes to get glass cleaner and a paper towel, turns around...and Antwaun is gone.
• Chumlee and Corey arguing over whether Robocop or The Terminator is stronger.
• The Old Man expressing a personal interest in, of all things, an R2-D2 cooler. He mentions he considered him the best part of the original film and wouldn't mind keeping it for himself if he got it.
• The can of rotted (thankfully sealed) elephant dung. The absurdity starts with the seller wanting ten thousand dollars for it. He ends up taking $20 for it, mostly because he was glad to be rid of it. It then gets turned into a Running Gag throughout the episode:
  • Chumlee wraps it up in gift wrap and gives it to Rick as a gift. It gets a chuckle out of everyone else.
  • Rick then stuffs it in a plastic bag, hands it to Corey while saying, "Here, I brought you lunch," to which Corey is not amused.
  • Old Man picks his hat up from his desk...and the can is underneath, staring at him.
  • Rick finds it in the display case, with some of the most expensive rings in the shop perched atop it.
    Rick: ...really?
• When trying to figure out who broke a 200 year old vase in the warehouse, Rick brings up the surveillance tapes, and finds a clip of Chumlee wielding a replica of a Klingon Bat'leth and swinging it around like the Star Wars Kid. Unsurprisingly, Chumlee's wild flailing knocks the vase over and breaks it. As punishment, Rick shows the tape to all of the store employees (and national television). The footage can be seen here.
  • And here it is with Chum as a ninja.
• Chumlee wanting to start a feud with Rick, and Rick agrees if Chumlee can finish a Crossword Puzzle before Rick. Chumlee does, but does so completely incorrectly, including putting multiple letters in boxes. Chumlee claims Rick never said it had to be done correctly, and The Old Man agrees, but Rick doesn't. So Chumlee declares a feud on each of the Harrisons.
• As an off-hand mention in one episode when discussing a deal Corey made about tattoo guns, the Old Man mentions he has a tattoo. When Corey and Chumlee bug him about it, he says he got it four years ago and it's not important because that's not the point of the conversation. Rick cuts in to let them know he got it in 1959 when he was in Japan, he promised Rick's mother he wouldn't get a tattoo, so he decided to get one with her name, except he spelled it wrong. The Old Man protests he was "under the weather", and Corey asks if he means he was drunk.
• When a guy calls them offering to sell them his replica Batmobile, Rick decides that he and Corey will go check it out, leaving Chumlee (who really wanted to go) behind. After they reach the guy's house, Chumlee suddenly appears with Rick's sunglasses and says "You forgot your glasses."
• Chumlee's horror film, The Pawning. Especially the Old Man's Bad "Bad Acting" laugh at the end.
• Corey buys Chumlee a fake lottery ticket. When Chumlee thinks he's won $10,000, he goes off the deep end and skips out on work to buy a ticket to go to the Cayman Islands because he "doesn't have to pay taxes on the money there". Cue Corey freaking out as he tries to tell Chumlee that no, he doesn't have $10,000. Then at the end of the episode it turns out that Chumlee knew the ticket was fake and was just using it to mess with Corey.
• The bar competition. Corey finds out that a nearby bar has a trivia contest, so the guys put together a team, going to great lengths to keep Chumlee from joining the team. Chumlee's response? Put together his own team. Consisting of himself and three of the experts that the shop calls in to examine things. The looks on Rick and Corey's faces when they see the experts walk in are priceless. The fact that Chumlee's team ends up steamrolling everyone is just the icing on the cake.
• A guy comes in with a toy bazooka from the fifties, and he and Corey decide to check and see if it still works. It does...and Corey found out because he fired it across the shop at Rick.
  Corey: "Hey, Dad, heads up!" *fires the toy, he and the guy suddenly wince*
  Rick: *offscreen* "What the hell?" *pan across to Rick with his hand over his eye*
• Rick allows an elementary school class to come tour the shop, but because he has a conference call (and he remembered about the field trip at the last minute) he foists the kids off on Corey and Chumlee. Under their watchful eye all matter of shenanigans ensue, including a game of hide and seek in the warehouse, Corey putting the kids to work washing the display cases and the Old Man sharing candy with a few of the kids in the back office.
• Rick, Corey, and the Old Man decide to have their portraits painted for display in the shop's offices. They don't let Chumlee have his done, but do hire a friend of his for the job. When the portraits are unveiled, each of them has a nod to Chumlee worked in: his face on a stack of $100 bills next to the Old Man, his name on a book behind Rick, and his face in the edge of the tattoos peeking out of Corey's shirt cuff.
  • And the Old Man is depicted with a plate of chicken wings on his knee - he'd been eating lunch at the time and didn't want anyone else to steal them.
• The entirety of Steve Carell's appearance.
• One episode starts off with Rick receiving a letter (which later turned out to be a prank) praising his friendly salesmanship. He gives a short talk on the importance of customer service. Richard, Corey, and Chumlee look at each other for a moment, then all three start Sarcastic Clapping.
• Rick hears that Bob Dylan is in town, and tasks Chumlee with getting a piece of the celebrity's memorabilia autographed to raise the value of it. Rick buys a vinyl copy of the 1970 album Self Portrait^note Rolling Stone notes Rick overpayed for the album, considered one of Dylan's worst, paying $50 for an album that costs much less even in mint condition. Ostensibly, Rick chose that album because it quite literally couldn't lose any more value than it did, instead of risking damage to a more valuable album, but that still doesn't explain why he shelled out 50 bucks for what is regarded as one of the most worthless pieces of Bob Dylan memorabilia. and gives it to Chumlee, who improbably finds Dylan walking around Las Vegas and gets him to sign the record. Chumlee returns triumphantly with the signed album...but Rick discovers he had Dylan autograph it to him, meaning that the piece would only be valuable to someone with Chumlee's name...which isn't exactly a common name. Rick angrily declares the item worthless and tells Chumlee to keep it since it is useless to sell now. Chumlee stays silent for a moment, then grins and says, "Sweet!". Strangely enough, this wasn't the show's last encounter with Dylan, as Rick and Chumlee would later appear in Dylan's 2013 video for "Like a Rolling Stone".
• Chumlee buys a Filipino war knife for $600 without getting it checked by Rick or an expert. Corey lambasts him, saying it's worth less than half that. They make a bet and Chumlee wins, forcing Corey to walk Chumlee's Pomeranian while they both wear pink tutus. Rick can't help but rub salt in the wound by watching the walk and laughing at his son.
• Corey paid $150 for a 40-year-old Ronald McDonald cookie and left it on a counter in the back office with a note: "Don't Touch—Corey." He later caught Chumlee eating it and pointed out the note, which Chumlee said should have had his own name on it if Corey meant for him to leave it alone. Corey promised to cover for Chumlee the next day if he got sick, but Rick said that those cookies were so full of preservatives that Chumlee would be fine. Rick ended by trying a leftover piece and delivering this assessment:
  "1980 was a good year."

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