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Funny / Patrick McManus

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  • From his article "The Angler's Dictionary":
    Split-shot sinker- An angler who suddenly drops into the water while standing with one foot on the dock and the other foot in a drifting boat and holding a ten-horse motor in his arms is known as a split-shot sinker. First he splits, then he sinks like a shot. The split is usually accompanied by a hideous screech, so horrible in fact that other anglers have been known to look up briefly from sorting their tackle boxes.

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  • From "The Rifle":
    The very next day, with the money for the rifle wadded up in the pocket of my jeans, I sauntered into Clyde Fitch's Sports Shop.
    "Hi, Clyde." I said.
    "Don't touch the guns!" Clyde shouted.
    I took out my wad of money and began to unfold it.
    "Seriously though, my boy," Clyde said, "I was just asking myself why ol' Pat hadn't been in lately to fondle the guns. Yes indeed. Now, good buddy, I'd be much obliged if you would try out the action on this new thirty-thirty and give me your expert opinion on it."