The Stolen Lands hold equal opportunities for horror, heroics and hilarity. Unmarked spoilers below!
- At the climax of the Bloom crisis, you have to kill a Kaiju-sized Owlbear attacking your capital. If you visit the capital's Tavern in the following chapter, you'll see they made a carpet out of him, and one big enough to cover half of the main hall at that!
- An ambassador from Pitax visits early on, pretty much belittling and foulmouthing your barony all the while. You can answer him with a string of absolutely scathing insults, so much he remains speechless and storms out in humiliation.
- Shaynih'a, one of the merchants who crafts special items for you, is also a Spoony Bard with a case of Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!. The related quest is even called "One Thousand and One Questionable Stories"
- Anytime Jaethal and Tristian interact with each other it invariably degenerates into them slinging backhanded compliments and straight insults at each other, still while maintaining their usual stoic demeanor. You can interpret this in multiple ways.
- One encounter in the third chapter lets you join a tribe of Goblins for a feast. At the end, you're able to compose a war song for them by finishing their lines. They go along with whatever you suggest as long as you don't straight insult them. They also offer up a Gargle Blaster - failing the Constitution check there ends the event.
- There's also the Goblin Village, which features quite a few Ineffectual Sympathetic Villains:
- A "questes" giver who wants you to feed its pet hydra, who you can either claim is Not Worth Killing or kill him for the deception afterward.
- A goblin who continually taunts you into a bunch of traps - catching up to him prompts him to pass it off as a Secret Test of Character, and you can again decide whether to spare him or kill him.
- And finally, a Goblin Merchant, who offers vastly overpriced items including a Masterwork Club that costs 123457 gold.
- During Jubilost's personal quest, the Inconsequent Debates are a general gold mine of hilarity.
- The signs for the rules are cursed, resulting in Jubilost being turned into a frog, a paladin of Iomedae being stuck replacing random words with "tentacles", and a kobold only escaping being forced to scream randomly because he can't read and so asked someone else to read the rules for him.
- The kobold competitor is utterly obsessed with becoming a dragon, to the point where he just answers "dragon" to pretty much everything - including Knight, Dragon, Snare.
- Also, since the rules require coming in packs of three, the kobold was forced to convince a couple of random non-sentient animals to tag along because he doesn't have any friends.
- During a conversation with the paladin, Jubilost will find he can't help but join in the tentacling despite not actually having that curse.
- Finally, if you decide to use your prize question on asking the Host why they hold the debate, they'll say it's because they're bored becauseyou try finding new things to do when you live forever.
- When confronting Munguk the hill giant, if Amiri's with you, you can jokingly suggest he marries her. She takes it for a laugh...until the giant shows actual interest in her, to which she replies with a verbatim "No. Just... No" Reaction and makes him back off on threatening to chop off his legs. This makes the giant sulk for a moment. If you talk Nok-Nok into dealing with the situation non-violently, he first sends the giant to your capital to find a mate, and then the drunk goblins there to find a home. Valerie is less than pleased with this result, as are (likely) you.
- In an example of taking a third option not always being a good thing, you can resolve a feud between two cyclops by disenchanting the item they were contending for (which was magically charming them into coveting itself). Doing so makes them stand around for a moment wondering what they were doing again, then one of them proposes the other they go grab a snack. And conveniently enough, there are a few juicy humanoids nearby. As in, you.
- During the Rushlight Tournament, one of the bards recounts a tale of battling monsters...mousing over the word "Fearsome monster" opens a tooltip that simply says "Gazebo".
- From one of Linzi's random quips:"Linzi the Illustrious? Linzi the...Magnificent? Something more simple like...Linzi the Great? Heh...perhaps Linzi the Indecisive"
- And in the final page of the game's epilogue, she calls herself "Linzi-who-never-chose-a-pretty-nickname".
- At a certain point, your royal throne will go missing. Until you resolve that problem, your king/queen will awkwardly receive their guests on a stool. And the one responsible? The aforementioned Goblin merchant! Even better, you can make him cry in order to get an achievement - just act as though you don't want the throne back, and he'll become more and more desperate to offload the thing because no one will so much as approach him while he's lugging it around!
- Linzi pretty much becomes the Bearer of Bad News whenever one of the main crises strikes your kingdom. One way of responding to her is by growing progressively more frustrated and exhasperated with every problem, to the point you can tell her to just get it over with as soon as she enters the throne room. The line where you blow up in her face is a gem in itself. Even better, this leads to Linzi and the Ruler briefly bickering in the middle of a crisis, in the throne room.King/Queen: "Ha. 'Fire, your Highness!', 'Plague, your Highness'...I know I can always count on your for good news, Linzi!"
- The book event as you enter the final dungeon. Made even funnier by the accompanying illustration: Octavia is trying to grab on to Regongar. Linzi is trying to grab your hand. Amiri meanwhile is just trying to keep hold of her sword.Each of us reached for the one they most feared to lose or the one they most wanted to hold on to...Except Harrim. He just folded his hands over his chest, calmly plummeting along with an air of mindful detachment.
- One of Tristian's random quips is him saying "Once a girl told me my eyes light up her world. I said that the blessing of Sarenrae will light up her soul. She seemed... disappointed." It's the genuinely confused and puzzled tone of the delivery that really sells it.
- Prior to the 1.1 update, it was perfectly possible to make Valerie a Paladin of Shelyn.
- If you have Octavia in your party when confronting Tsanna, after Tsanna talks about the wild mating rituals Lamashtu cultists undergo to make lots of babies, Octavia will pipe up that followers of Calistria get to have just as much fun but with fewer tentacles involved. This results in Tsanna getting defensive and talking up how they have primordial wisdom wild sex versus Calistria followers having frivolous sex... which if Valerie is also in your party, then leads Val to awkwardly protest:"Could we please skip the theological debate over which cult has better orgies?"
- Amiri is pretty funny herself, if only due to her sheer directness. She approaches almost Goblin Slayer levels of focus on 'killing monsters.'.
- Harrim makes a magnificent straight man, especially if you decide to mock him. He genuinely doesn't get it, and just sits there smiling. Heck, his introduction is hilarious. He thinks a wound that doesn't even require a potion unless he's being especially finicky, is a death wound. If he's told he's not dying? He just gets up and grumbles.
- One of the bits of gossip you can get from Elina is finding out that some of the young ladies in the kingdom have been faking being sick so they can spend time in the clinic Tristian is helping run because they think he's handsome.
- The goblins in Nok-Nok's village start out seeming like comically pathetic Ineffectual Sympathetic Villains, since you basically see them over and over again trying to tame the giant monsters they find, only for the monsters to invariably decide to eat them instead to absolutely nobody's surprise that isn't a goblin. (Though granted this perception might change when you find out what else they've been doing...)
- At one point during Tristian's romance quest, you'll find out that he asked Linzi of all people for advice, and she gave him a book which he is reading intently with extreme confusion. If you ask him if you can read it, you'll find out she lent him what is essentially the fantasy equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey. No wonder the poor boy was confused!
- Talking to Nok-Nok includes a whole section devoted to him almost obsessively talking about everything about Linzi with him expressing comical fear and disgust that she bathes herself, keeps her hair shiny, sings, and writes too much. You can then jokingly ask, "So no wedding, then?" to which he reacts in horror and almost vomits in response. Well, he does vomit - he just swallows it back down with a smile.
- If you have Jubilost in your Throne Room when Willas Gunderson shows up to give you the Curse of Candlemere quest, Jubilost will spend the entire conversation cheerfully roasting Willas on everything from his sanity to his academic credentials to his appearance and delights in poking holes in his story and making fun of his ideas if you give him an opening. May turn into a "Funny Aneurysm" Moment in-universe when the Baron finds out Jubilost was not exaggerating Willas's questionable sanity and arrogant overestimation of his own intelligence, as Willas's poorly-considered actions are inadvertently responsible for Varnhold's destruction.
- A series of encounter areas around Pitax chronicle the misadventures of an Academy of Arts student impersonating a cultist of Charon and trying to bind a daemon, but he always screws up the summoning and runs away leaving the real cultists to die. Why is he doing all this? Daemons stole the soul of his favorite writer and he wants to know how the series ends.
- The wizard, Blakemoore, and his furious squirrels, which are functionally identical to the spider and mandragora swarms, but made of angry squirrels that he sics on devils.
- The way that Maegar and Cephal argue constantly over literally everything like an old married couple is hilariously endearing. Especially since in a conversation where you potentially roleplay which one you often side with, you can instead say you often feel like whacking them both upside the head a bit.
- The game then parodies them when you find an illusory version of the two of them in the main dungeon.Fake Cephal: You understand nothing of town planning! A hospital must be built on a cursed cemetery!
Fake Maegar: Cephal, you're out of your mind! A cursed cemetery is a better place for a mill. The hospital goes in the plague wasteland!
Fake Cephal: All right, but then the castle should go in a feverish swamp!
Fake Maegar: But we don't have a feverish swamp!
Fake Cephal: What?! Then we shall have to take one from our neighbors! We must live somewhere!
- The game then parodies them when you find an illusory version of the two of them in the main dungeon.
- While investigating Willas Gunderson, you can seduce him such that after the Fade to Black, the bed is destroyed and the innkeeper is complaining about holes in the ceiling. Just what did you get up to?
- The Breather Episode after dealing with the City of Hollow Eyes sets the General against a Galtan agent provocateur stirring up trouble in the town. With the right skill checks, the peasants he's riled up will knock him on the head and apologize for bothering you.