Funny / Paradox Space

Headed For Stardom

• Eridan's corpse having a bunny stuffed in its mouth. Made even funnier with the Noodle Incident-type description that one of the staff members of the webcomic gives it.

Prototyped

• Karkat's ridiculous facial expressions from part 5 of "Prototyped". Some have even compared one to Pac-Man.
• Jack continually failing to keep the black queen's ring on due to the prototyped harlequin having lost both arms is also comedy gold.

A Fun Day For Bec

• Becquerel had spent the entire day teleporting everywhere and grabbing various objects, and then takes a nap. Jade, who wasn't aware of that, says:
  "You're such a lazy dog!"

Critical Miss

• Everything between Eridan and the critical whale.
  Critical Whale: YOU DIDN'T DO VERY WHALE ON THAT R-
  Eridan: I KNOWW SHUT UP
  Critical Whale: YOUR HAIR LOOKS STUPID.
  Eridan: FUCKIN SHUT UP WWHALE
• "I don't just hit your 8oat, I sink the whole thing, plus it's on fire, AND you trip and smash your 8one 8ulge on a rock that wasn't there 8efore!"
• Predictably, Eridan's shameless, hideously awful attempt at hitting on Vriska. Her reaction, in kind, is fantastic.
  "YOU F8CKING F8CK!"
• And finally...
  Critical Whale: SHE DOESN'T WANT TO KISS YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE A DESPERATE AND UNPLEASANT PERSON.
  Eridan: i knoww man
• The mouseover text for page 6.
  critical whale <3< eridan OTP

Con Faire

• A starry-eyed John grabbing a less enthused Karkat.
• Roxy's attempt at playing Tricia Poe, full stop.
• Karkat gently breaking it to John that his performance sucked.
  Karkat: IT WAS CRAP!!!!
• When Vriska's team wins, John forlornly comments that Vriska was right about them being "a bunch of idiots dancing on a plane". Terezi and Roxy are both extremely confused about this.
• This exchange, doubling as a Moment of Awesome:
  WV: SIX BILLION POINTS TO THE STUPID TEAM!
  Roxy: That's us!

Deadline Day

• In trying to come up with a headline, the editor goes through, in order, "Late King in Cake Kerfuffle!", "Prospitian Queen Smells Weird! Probably we guess" and finally, "Hurp Bloop Bluh Blurp Bluh". The last one is a result of him smashing his head against his keyboard.
  • "Photoshop Noises"
  • Mouseover text speaks for us all.
  Alt Text: I actually kinda want to know what happened with the cake kerfuffle.

A Fun Day For GCat

• Gcat does a similar teleporting spree as Bec, but unlike him GCat goes hunting animals. One of said Animals...is an ostrich.
• Jane's reaction to coming home and finding GCat lying atop a pile of dead animals on her own bed.
  • Among said animals are: The aforementioned ostrich, a snowman and a cactus.

Quality Time

• How John and Dave's conversation opens up.
  John: dave, you have to help me prevent a suicide.
  Dave: whose suicide
  John: mine!!!
  Dave: pass next idea
• When Dave talks about an ill beat session, John imagines him taking care of an ill beet.
• Dave's dialogue bubbles including a blue, underlined passage where he talks about sending John an Internet link.
  Alt Text: You tried to click that, didn't you?
  • The underlined text was later updated to actually be clickable...and simply pop up an in-browser window saying it's not a real link.
  • Dave referring to the room with the ball pit as the Hyperbolic Playtime Chamber.

Suffering Through/For The People

• The Sufferer trying really hard to explain to the Alternian trolls why the current regime is wildly oppressive.
  Sufferer: So yeah, no, I don't think one can, quote "do a genocide," unquote...quote, "as a joke," unquote.
  • Later...
  Crowd Troll: If the empress is SO BAD, why do we prostrate ourselves before her image several times daily?
  Sufferer: That's...she makes you do that. You get killed if you don't do that.
• Ψiioniic and Disciple praising Sufferer right after he claims that true leaders don't need constant validation.
• Ψiioniic's complete lack of an indoor voice.
  Ψiioniic: I WILL DIE FOR YOU
• Darkleer's poor attempt at sneaking into the Sufferer rally, and then asking how hard it is to sneak in "for a friend".
• A young troll asking the Sufferer what his sign is (not realizing that his other title is the signless), followed by the crowd demanding that he strip.
  • One may also notice her Sufferer and Ψiioniic plushes, implying that they sell merchandise at the Sufferer rallies.
    • If you look closely, you can also see that she has a Disciple keychain.
  • This is followed by the Ψiioniic losing his temper.
    Ψiioniic: SILENCE, WORMS!
    Sufferer: What? No. No one's worms. Love and equality, remember?
    Ψiioniic: (using his psionics) IIII LOOOOVE YOOU
• Then as the Sufferer is telling people about refreshments at the rally we get a reminder of what a Momma's Boy he is;
  The Sufferer: And, uh, my mom made cookies, so yeah.
  (shot of the Dolorosa sitting in the crowd waving at the Sufferer like a nerdy soccer mom)
  Random Troll: What's a mom?
• The sheer nonchalance of the crowd when Ψiioniic starts firing his eye lasers in the air implies that not only has he done this before, he's done it so often that no one is surprised.
  • And in the last panel, he can be seen sitting with a dunce cap on that says "Time Out".
• A small one on the second page, if you look in the crowd you can see what looks like two trolls making out as the Ψiioniic starts firing his eyebeams.

A Fun Day For Jaspers

• The sheer fact that, according to Homestuck canon, Jaspers disappeared when Rose was four adds a good deal of humor to an already amusing comic. The very concept of a preschooler psychoanalyzing her pet cat? Hilarious.

Hand Made In Alternia

• Doc Scratch has the Handmaid help him out by sorting delicacies, putting them into neat little boxes and writing what's inside on the box with a sharpie. How does she show her dislike of this? She draws a penis on Doc Scratch's cueball of a head. His deadpan reaction as he and the Handmaid sit at the table (The Handmaid being tied to her chair) is also priceless.

  Doc Scratch: Fortunately I am omniscient enough to not make permanent markers available to my servant.

Indemnity Double Reacharound

• The idea of a Scalemate Noir comic itself already got quite a laugh out of people.
• The last panel on the last page has Dave and Terezi sitting with the Mayor in the Trolls meteor. Looking to the far left of the image reveals: "I told you about Stairs. I told you. It keeps happening. I warned you bro." written on the stairs.
• The Mayor's expression when he's hanging scalemates from the ceiling above Can Town with nooses. He doesn't look pleased at all.

The Town Mouse And The Country Mouse

• "I haven't seen one of these in years. Outside of niche pornography, anyway."
• Which becomes a Brick Joke when Jade says "So what did you mean, anyway? About niche pornography?" and Rose replies "You should ask Dave about that one."
  Alt Text: under no circumstances should you ask dave

Her Pale Passions

• Rose stealing Karkat's trashy romance novels to study Troll romance. And Karkat's reaction:
  Kanaya: Rose, You Didn't Retrieve These From-
  Karkat: AAAAAAAAAHHH!! THOSE WERE ALPHABETIZED...BY QUADRANT!
• Look very closely at the book in question when Kanaya opens it. Karkat annotated it. Including scribbling out bits that he didn't like.

Night At The 100DSEUM

• While they're being airlifted by the robots, Karkat is screaming in terror...and Terezi is laughing her ass off.
• Upon realising that Equius has trapped him and Terezi in the 100dseum, Karkat literally starts frothing at the mouth. He then skips off into the rest of the museum, hoping that he'll get lucky and drown in a puddle of art. His eyes even start to go dark orange like Gamzee's rage mode.
  • Karkat's expressions in general are just hysterical in this one.
• On page 5, Equius tries to show Karkat a portrait of the Sufferer. Karkat flips him off in response. Oh, if he only knew...
• After fleeing the sweati, Karkat realizes that the 100dseum's doors weren't locked to begin with.
• "Art is pain..."

Soul-Fraying Games

• After Karkat compains about both him and Dave playing as knights, Terezi gives him another character..."4 TRU3 N3UTR4L H4LF-UND34D H4LF-UN34T3N CR4B S4NDW1CH".
• Rose is playing a human wizard, who is notably male. Rose explains that she thinks an RPG is a great opportunity to explore identities that are otherwise alien from oneself.
  Terezi: 1S TH4T WHY YOU CHOS3 CH4OT1C 3V1L 4S YOUR 4L1GNM3NT?
  Rose: No.
• Succubus!Kanaya...who resembles a medieval Expy of Porrim. She even sparkles.
• At the end when everyone leaves, WV puts a bowl of food that he was offering to everyone on a shocked Terezi's head.

The Viceroy and the Lady Grimme

• Doc Scratch...with hair. And a beard.

Horse Play

• Scratch's chess challenge to Hussie does not go as he expected.
  Doc Scratch: What the hell?...
  • This, after Scratch spent the entire last page monologuing about how he already knows the outcome of every game... only to be proven wrong, apparently.
• It just gets better when Hussie sends his "breakfast-for-dinner dinner" across by accident, only for Scratch to misconstrue it as the most epic taunt!
  • The Felt looking on worriedly as Doc Scratch messes with the breakfast, shouting to himself and getting maple syrup on his face.
    • Especially this line:
  Scratch: Queen to E6! (slams down his queen onto a waffle)
• Really, pretty much everything about Doc Scratch losing his mind over what he perceives as Hussie taunting him.
• Hors
• On this page's bottom panel, look at the boxes to the right. in particular, the one labelled "OLD VRISKA FANFICTION".
  • "Order number 413".

Lalondian Tourism

• Terezi uses some of Rose's spare knitting needles as makeshift walrus tusks while Kanaya attempts to explain to her why they shouldn't be interfering with the objects in Rose's room.
• Kanaya and Terezi find a scrapbook full of photos from Rose's birthdays underneath her bed and quickly compare them to the wriggler challenges trolls face in their infancy. One of the first shots shown is Rose preparing to stab a clown with cutlery.

Hospitality

• Eridan tries to express his loneliness:
  Eridan: What do you do if you've got a song in your heart but no one to share it with, huh?
  Gamzee: I play with my horns, bro!

Mother & Grub

• Right as the Dolorosa is wondering how hard it could be to raise a grub, the Signless is snatched up by a lusus. Once she's taken care of that, she barely walks a few feet before another lusus steals him. And once she's dealt with that lusus, another one tries to steal him. Finally, after seeing the Signless being picked up by two other trolls who ponder using him as a Troll Resource, she goes Rainbow Drinker on them. This somehow leaves the carriage the trolls were using on fire as she walks away like a badass.
  • Even better, judging by the expressions of the lusii, it looks like they were stealing him so they could raise him themselves.

Stand-Up Room Only

• Dualscar's terrible attempts at humor are so awful that they wrap back around to being completely hilarious...which doesn't stop him from being executed for being a bad comedian.
• The mouse-over text is merely "this actually happened".

Damara

• When Damara returns to school after her second death at Cronus' hands, Cronus yells, "What the hell are you?"...to which Kankri responds by lecturing him about how his referring to her as "what" rather than "who" implies she is a non-sentient being, and is thus offensive to actual non-sentient beings. His speech doesn't even fit in the panel.
• The Beforan text in Damara's book, when translated, says "TRAPPED AT THE HOMESTUCK FACTORY, SEND HELP."

The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven

• Crowbar catching Itchy and Clover doing a mating jig and freaking out... then wondering what charm those two were soliciting.
• Itchy deciding to troll Crowbar by starting a 10,000 piece puzzle (a horse puzzle of course), not only intentionally forgoing using his super speed, but deliberately doing poorly.
  You say that the horse butt goes behind the animal, not like, hovering in front of its face, you stupid piece of shit.
• Clover trying to initiate a mating jig with Crowbar, who tells him to stop his feet just for a sec, then adds that he isn't down with moons anyway.
• Crowbar on Scratch and Alternia;
  Crowbar: Long story short, the Doc here fucked with them for about a billion damn years and they all died off as a result. Heh. Classic Scratch.

A Friend In Need

• Kanaya's response to Aradia's enormous hair, which no longer fits in her God Tier hood due to its sheer size and is floating about in the liquid-like environment is to stare, then silently pull out her chainsaw.

The Mortician

• Terezi has just finished her trial, and has sent their "cadavers" to Kanaya to fix up. Initially irritated at having to fix yet another batch of scalemates, she flips over the card Terezi sent with them and finds the rest of the message: "4ND DON'T PR3T3ND L1K3 YOU DON'T 3NJOY 4 GOOD G4M3 OF DR3SS-UP >:]".

Secret Sufferer

• Karkat's offhand mention of the thirteenth troll's death. For a previous Secret Sufferer exchange, Vriska sent everyone doomsday devices, none of which worked. Well, except one...
• Karkat puts himself in charge of distributing the gifts for the Secret Sufferer exchange since he thinks everyone else will mess it up. He gets them all wrong. To name a few, Tavros gets a robot that scares him when it busts out of the box, Sollux gets a box of bike horns (and complains that his headaches are bad enough already), Terezi gets a FLARP manual that she can't read because she's blind, and Feferi gets chalk that instantly starts dissolving the second she removes it from the box because she lives underwater.
• Eridan receives a cape identical to the one he's wearing. He puts it on a mirror and goes on a date with his reflection.
• In a bit of Black Comedy, Vriska uses the shipping slabs she was accidentally sent to club a troll to death to feed to her lusus.
• This comic offers an explanation for why Equius is missing part of his right horn. Karkat accidentally sent him a box of shurikens for Secret Sufferer, he used them to equip one of his robots which he then fought in a cage match, and...
• Nepeta gets the cuttlefish that were meant as pets for Feferi, and eats them. Hope Feferi never finds out...
• Rose apparently made an entire lab of mistletoe while drunk one time.
• "Happy New Sweep" and Karkat's reaction at the end.

Lady Grimme and the Red Knight

• The cover of an in-universe novel shows Kanaya drinking from a swooning Rose. It's so cheesy and overdone as to be funny.
• Dave as a rapping bard. That is all.
  • Wearing pantaloons!

Birds and Bees

• Grandpa Harley gives Jade The Talk, in the It Makes Sense in Context kind of way.

Steward of Void

• Dave finds Butler Island. And Equius is the butler.
  • More specifically an entire legion of him are butlers. Dave then breaks them with a paradox: who serves the servers? Since all of the Equiuses want to be the butler, they get into a massive fight.

Star Of The Ocean

• Aradia realizing what the 'treasure' really is. And then it hugs her.
  Aradia: As soon as I can get across the room, I'll have that sculpture for you, Fef!
  Feferi:...Sculpture?

Summerteen Romance

• The first page has a cicada on a tree saying "buzzz buzzz haha whatever im a cicada lmao."
• Sollux is wearing a shirt that says "Eat Shirt".
• The Framing Device for this story. Karkat wrote an AU fanfic of his friends and is making Dave read it.
• Karkat made himself buff in-story. He even has Bishie Sparkles!
• The Mayor playing with Dave's cape. It's as funny as it is adorable.
• Dave reading the struck-through corrections to make fun of Karkat's work on adapting troll terms to Earth words, all the way up to Gamzee.
  Dave: damn dude you weren't kidding about this adaptation shit
  • Karkat rants about "suffering through" hundreds of hours of human movies in order to adapt his screenplay to Dave's customs. In-comic, we see him lying on his bed in pajamas, curlers in his hair, surrounded by stacks of movies, watching a screen with utter rapture in his eyes.
  • It's in extremely tiny text, but one of his DVDs is labeled with a drawing of a fish and the words "Kiss My Bass".
• Equius laying on the bunk underneath Gamzee in his death pose.
  BED.
• Self-insert!Karkat breaking up a fight between Nepeta and Vriska:
  Karkat: Guys
  (beat panel with Karkat sporting a derpface as he literally gets between them)
  Karkat: Stop fighting
• For some reason, 'Bro' is in charge of the camp... plus Big Cal, the handpuppet who is implied to be the real person in charge. The campers' reactions are priceless.
  Sollux: We're going to be murdered in our thleep.
• Karkat engaging in some Hypocritical Humor.
  Karkat: LOOK, JUST STOP YELLING, OKAY? IT'S OBNOXIOUS.
• There's some delightful fourth-wall breaking as well.
  Dave: can we just agree that paradox space sucks and be done with it
  Karkat (with an Aside Glance): AND MAKE THIS PANEL EXPLOITABLE? HELL NO.
• The Unsound Effect's *HUGE BEACH* and *GENUINE DE-STRESS*
• Feferi comments on how good Bro is at ventriloquism, given that she hasn't seen his mouth move at all.
• Kanaya using her glowy vampire-y thing as a flashbang to escape an awkward moment with Feferi.
• Imagine Dave with a creepy frenchman mustache. Actually, you don't have to. Karkat wrote it. Along with Sweet Jeff and Hella Bro. Dave immediately tears the story in two.
  • Dave declares he's gonna sue Karkat over the character while Rose and Kanaya watch in the background.
  Dave: there will be motions and debriefings and punitive action
  Rose: Will there
  Kanaya: Good God Dave Phrasing
  Dave: stfu
• Then they start rapping...badly. And the trolls' responses.
  Kanaya: We Did DNA Tests Last Year Remember And Proved You Could Not Sire A Lake
• What scares off Dave Slider and his posse? Big Cal, in the most hilarious Nightmare Fuel ever.
  Big Cal: I remember it... THE TASTE OF YOUR FLESH...
• "Then delinquents is what we're gonna be!" — Feferi Peixes, of all people
  • While pulling out soda cans actually marked 'drugs'.
  Karkat: I'M SORRY DAVE IS THIS GETTING TOO REAL FOR YOU
• Gylbgolyb buying what they'll drink. "Would you please speak up?"
  • The things that they're saying.
  Troll Cashier: Would you like a bag for that?
  Gylbgolyb: (Whispering) I would like a bag for your face.
• "Hey guys! Let's go do drugs in the woods!"
• Vriska saying "Blind joke!" in response to Terezi saying "I'm keeping an eye on you."
• Self-Insert!Karkat goes full-on Jojo in response to the idea of doing drugs in the woods.
  SI!Karkat: The only "hi" I need is a greeting from my friends!
• Convincing the other trolls to do drugs.
  Equius: I don't give in to peer pressure...
  Feferi: Do it.
  Equius:... from just anybody...
  Eridan: Wwell i don't really feel like it but i GUESS i'll come if you dwweebs really wwant me to...
  Vriska and Feferi: (gleefully) NAH.
• Possibly also mild Nightmare Fuel, but Tavros apparently being seduced by Dave's lackeys using a bucket. It has to be seen to be believed.
  Dave: i don't know how troll reproduction works so i'm just gonna assume that's how that went down
  Karkat: YOU'RE NOT TOO FAR OFF.
  • The actual image is further censored now. By Dave performing freestyle smut.
• Dave skips past the encounter with the Jack-bear.
  Dave: oh gee looks like a page is missing
  Karkat: IS NOT
  Dave: six pages wow
• After Dave skips the encounter with the Jack-bear, Sollux is seen looking distressed, and cries out "I can't believe they all died!" The next page reveals he was talking about his phone batteries.
• Dave skips further ahead, much to the ire of Karkat.
  Dave: i am a god of time it is well within my right
  Karkat: YOU'RE RUINING THE PACING
• Bro falls apart without Big Cal, until Terezi smacks him.
  Terezi: If you can't control yourself without Big Cal... Then which one of you is the puppet...?
  Bro: (gains anime eyes and a mouth so he can look shocked)
  Terezi: I'm disappointed in you too, Equius.
  Equius: (with a bit in his mouth, being ridden by Jeromy) I don't remember how this happened.
• Sollux pronouncing "assistance" as "athiththtanthe".
• The campers open the treasure chest and it just contains a diorama of a pirate ship and an additional treasure map.
  Dave: and the award for shittiest twist goes to
  Karkat: YOUR SPINE IN 3 SECONDS IF YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE
• Tavros stands up to Camp Sburb... with a rap-off.
  Dave: ... it just says "[Tavros lays down some mind-blowing rhymes]"
  (beat panel of Karkat staring at him)
  Karkat: DOES IT NOW?
  • The result? Dave!Tavros.
  They then proceeded to have one of the sickest* and most onesided rap-offs in Paradox Space** history.
  *Just take my word for it, this comic is already super long without an extended rap battle sequence anyways
  **Paradox Space as in the semi-canon Homestuck spin-off webcomic that you're reading right now.
• "I WARNED YOU BRO! I WARNED YOU ABOUT BEARS!"
  Dave: you did NOT just deploy my stairs joke like a fucking meme!
• After one of the Camp Sburb campers is killed by the Jack Bear, the bomb that Sollux managed to defuse re-activates. Eridan punts it out the door... straight into Gamzee's sandcastle. The latter of which proceeds to go berserk. Whoops.
  Eridan: *giving a thumbs up* REDEEMED?
  Karkat, Kanaya, Feferi and Aradia: *giving a thumbs down* FUCK NO.
  DOPESPLODE
• And then straight after...
  Gamzee: *giving a thumbs up* IT'S FINE
• Keep in mind that it's been 46 out of 51 pages at this point and there has yet to be any romance, despite the title. Perhaps because Dave skipped it. Unless you count Tavros' "seduction".
  • As of Page 50 we have our first romance. Its between Eridan and Hella Bro.
• When Equius finally manages to protect Nepeta from Bear Noir as a good moirail, Nepeta is touched...but also excited to use him as a means of finally destroying the bear! And then of course, there's her nonchalant response to the slaughter. Also doubles as a Moment of Awesome (and Heartwarming in regards to Equius's actions).
  *MURDER NOISES*
  Nepeta: APEX PREDATOR!
• The smug look on Dave's face when he gets to a cheesier than cheese speech Bro gives to Kanaya about how Camp Sgrub will live on in her heart is legendary.
• As it turns out, there's another critic to Karkat's writing. His future self.
  • The next page however goes right in the other direction.

Other

• The Contributor Panel, starting with Andrew Hussie:
  Just some guy.
  [gif of a horse eating a carrot]
  • Earlier, it was a bunch of dancing aliens.
  • It appears that the gifs keep changing. Now it's a different horse that's not eating a carrot.◊
• The May 11 post by Andrew Hussie:
  ...Sure seems like that arc could have happened in canon, doesn't it? If that is what you would like to believe, you will get no argument from me. Eridan getting owned is ALWAYS plausible, the end.
  • Also, this gem:
  Now let's all kick back, relax, and google some horse memes.
  Edit: Whoaaa. Those are all HORRIBLE. Let's forget I suggested that idea!
• The April 26 post by Rachel, in which she replies to the Fan Dumb over Karkat's tongue color being pink.
  ...We can assume that unless tongue color turns out to be an extremely important part of beating Lord English, it is probably not important at all.
• The error page for the site being down is completely in character for those pictured.◊

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