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Funny / Pain of Salvation

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  • The sample preceding "Dea Pecuniae" on BE finds Daniel Gildenlow's egomaniacal billionaire character Mr. Money trying to sweet talk his female companion in the front seat of his expensive car. The following conversation ensues:
    Mr. Money: (revs car) Ah... love of my life.
    Sandra: Are you referring to me or the car?
    Mr. Money: Oh please, honey - what do you think? Now, ah... Cindy...
    Sandra: (annoyed) Sandra.
    Mr. Money: (under his breath) Yeah righ... (out loud) Yeah, of course! Now, as I see this, we've got two natural choices here. So, um, what do you say? Either I drive, and you can give me some good head while I'm watching the road...
    Sandra: (incredulous) What!?
    Mr. Money: Well, somebody's gotta watch the road honey. Or, you could drive this baby... (revs car) ...but, ah, only if you're good at handling the stick, of course.
    Mr. Money: Um... right.
    Sandra: Is that some sort of sick joke?
    Mr. Money: (innocently) What?
    Sandra: Natural choices, my ass!
    Sandra: You son of a- (moves to get out of the car)
    Mr. Money: Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy, baby. No sweat. It was only a joke, alright?
    Sandra: ...Alright. (gets back in)
    Mr. Money: I mean, of course I was joking. I would NEVER let you drive my car.
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  • From "America" on Scarsick: "We'll be back after this short break!" Cue the banjo.
  • "Sleeping Under the Stars":
    Wait darling wait, "You're the shit!" as they say in...
    as they say at...
    wherever they say that.

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