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Journey to the West
Journey To The West
- The entire first part of the Journey to the West summarization is ripe with laughs.
- First off, The Monkey King has a midlife crisis and, in Red's words: 'Pulls a Gilgamesh'. Complete with the Monkey King screaming "TO ADVENTURE!" atop a dingy raft.
- When discussing the shapeshifting abilities of Sun Wukong, one of the shown transformations is Red herself, who proceeds to question "What the heck is this one." Before the real Red pulls a Dynamic Entry while screaming "NOT THIS TIME T-1000!"
- How do they depict Sun Wukong getting bored? Having him screaming about how the Celestial Bureaucracy needs Netflix while surrounded in flames.
- Sun Wukong is apparently not satisfied with just having plain old Complete Immortality and becomes first double immortal by eating heavenly peaches, then triple immortal (and thoroughly drunk) from wine, and finally quadruple immortal (and sober) from Lao Tzu's alchemical experiments.Red: And if you wanna know who this Lao Tzu person is...Blue: I'm working on it, goddamn it! [Sudden ninja] Ninjasohgod!
- Three guesses at to what Sun Wukong will do next:A) The Rational thing
B) The 'I'm not getting involved' thing.
C) THE IMPULSIVE THING!
- By the time the Buddha arrives in heaven, Sun Wukong is fighting "thirty-six thunder deities because why not." You get the feeling that the author would have had the Kitchen Sink Included if such things existed back then.
- In the second part, Tripitaka asks Sun Wukong why he doesn't just carry everyone on his cloud.Tripitaka: Wait, why can't you just fly us there?Sun Wukong: My cloud only carries the pure of heart.Tripitaka: Really?Sun Wukong: No.
- When Tripitaka recites the spell that'll allow him to keep Sun Wukong from rampaging, this is visually represented by words in a faint blue glow surrounding him... only it's the lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody.
- The summarization of the third part of Journey to the West is also full of funny things.
- Wukong having a background saying "expert at kicking ass" with a "demon" sticked there.
- Every time Venus appears.
- Red starting a discussion with Tripitaka's water dragon-horse as to why it didn't carry Tripitaka across the river when it's clearly able to swim.
- Wukong being impulsive.
- During his fight with Pigsy, Wukong asks the pig demon why he's fighting him with a rake.Pigsy: A rake? HA! This is no ordinary rake! One blow from this and your very soul will be rent asunder!(Pigsy smacks him over the head with the rake. Wukong is unaffected)Wukong: (Unimpressed) You were saying?
- The fourth part of Journey to the West is even funnier.
- In the fifth episode, how does the Silver Demon King avoid being carried by Sandy? Saying that his face is way too scary.
- The Red Boy also does this in the sixth episode and we see Sandy having a sad face.
- Journey to the West episodes continue being funny; part 6 has Red Boy's facial expression when Kuan Yin's lotus platform turns out to actually be a whole bunch of devaraja's swords, for example.
- Everyone's reaction to Monkey's logic on why they should just abandon the disguised Red Boy, even if he really was a starving orphan.
- Red Boy suspects the "Bull Demon King" who's gone on a vegetarian diet is an impostor:Red Boy: Hey, uh, Father, you know, it's slipped my mind, but, um, any chance you could tell me the exact hour and date of my birth?
Disguised Wukong: Oh-ho, well, I'm far too old to remember such a weirdly specific fact about you.
Red Boy: [attacking] My father never shuts up about my birthday!
Wukong: Seriously? What a nerd.
- Wukong's gleeful reaction when he realizes what Quan Yin is up to when she slaps five adornments on Red Boy.
- From Part VII:
- There's a quick gag about how Pigsy is despairing because it feels like they've been on this journey forever. Cue a cut to Red, who quietly coughs.
- When Tripitaka is kidnapped (again), Sandy goes down to the river bottom to challenge Pigsy and Tripitaka's captor to a fight. After banging on the door:Sandy: Release the monk or else!Demon: And the pig?Sandy: He's negotiable.Pigsy: (offended) Hey!
- This entire exchange after Monkey kills the Daoist guards watching over some imprisoned Buddhist monks, and tells them he's the "Great Sage Equal to Heaven" the gods told them will save them:Monk: (With a speech bubble depicting Sun Wukong with flaming eyes and hissing) No you're not, the Gold Star of Venus told us that the Great Sage is all ugly and hairy, with scary fangs and stuff!Red: And Monkey is all like—Wukong: (Quietly, and Annoyed) That motherffffffmmmmmm. (clears throat a few times) You got me! I'm not the Monkey King, I just work for him, and he's RIGHT BEHIND YOU!Red: So all the monks turn around to look, and Monkey changes back and scares them. I'm not even joking, I love this book.
- The three Daoist Immortals that effectively control the city enslaving Buddhist monks issue a series of challenges to the group, as a part of a complicated series of escalating events. One of them? Sitting still and meditating for as long as possible on top of a tower. Sun Wukong may be immortal four times over and strong as all get out...but no. This is beyond even him.Wukong: "BALLS!"
- Contrast his reaction to being told the next contest involves an immortality trial via being beheaded, having hearts removed, and being boiled in oil ...In That Order:Wukong: "YES! This is hardcore!"
- Contrast his reaction to being told the next contest involves an immortality trial via being beheaded, having hearts removed, and being boiled in oil ...In That Order:
- The king of the city's Squee! when he gets to see dragons.
- Tripitaka letting out an exasperated "UUUUUUGH" after the Sore Loser Immortals propose yet another "final challenge."
- When Monkey gets his head cut off, Pigsy declares that he can now be the main character, which leads to Tripitaka facepalming and Sandy giving Pigsy a stern glare.
- Sun Wukong goes a bit Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness when he contacts the Dragon King of the North, after he discovers a pot of oil over a fire is actually quite cold to the touch.Wukong: "Hey, Ao Ming? We've got a violation of the laws of thermodynamics."
- For which an errant dragon spirit actually gets arrested, by a fish-shaped spirit no less.
- After pointing out in the first part that, yes, Sun Wukong is best known as Goku, Red does the next time/previously on segments in the style of Dragon Ball Z, complete with music from the series. Then after mentioning that she's going be skipping some of the boring or fillery parts, she dubs the recap, "Journey to the West Kai."
- Red's summary of Much Ado About Nothing.Red: Much Ado About Nothing is the charming tale of love, betrayal, heaping loads of sarcasm, BRIAN BLESSED, Brian Blessed's beard, and grown men splashing around in fountains.
- When she gets to him again, she insists that BRIAN BLESSED's name can be said in no other fashion.
- The summarization of Paradise Lost gives us Sexy Satan in all his Daddy Issues glory.
Exhibit A: 200 pounds of angelic beefcakeExhibit B: First recorded instance of Dickbutt
- The War in Heaven is illustrated by Lucifer leading his host of angels in war against God... And God manifesting a massive fist punching him straight out of heaven.
- Red compares the two common interpretations of Satan, the first being the classic sexy bad boy and the other being a disgusting evil monster:
- This priceless exchange after Adam and Eve eat from the Tree of Knowledge:Jesus: See Eve, this is why you don't make decisions without your husband.Satan: Oh, please! You think I couldn't have got that guy to do something stupid? I'm the Father of Lies! He's not even wearing pants!Adam: Ahhh! I'm not even wearing pants!Jesus: (Face Palm) Not helping, Satan!Satan: HA! I've never had my existence summarized so succinctly before!Jesus: (exasperated sigh)Satan: Call me when Dad makes you suffer and die for these losers! I'll just be over here...ruling in Hell! (laughs and disappears)Eve: (to Jesus) Daddy issues?Satan: (in the background) I heard that!
- This exchange between Satan and the Archangel Gabriel:Gabriel: So the Prodigal Asshole returns.Satan: I thought you never left.
- Red covering up Adam and Eve's naughty bits with a little sign reading "Nope!".
- At the end of the video when Lucifer returns to hell, Zeus says that he would have screwed with them better. On the one hand, Zeus could have meant that metaphorically, because he's Zeus. But on the other hand, he could have meant it literally... because he's Zeus.
- Satan and God's short argument at the beginning:Satan: Oh, what? You think you're all that?!God: I'm sorry, is the fact that I'm God confusing you?
- Satan pushes over a vase and breaks it.God: Lucifer, get back here and clean that up.Satan: You're not my real dad.God: I'm everyone's real dad.
- The very last shot of the video is Lucifer sitting on his throne and admitting that this may not have been the greatest idea.Lucifer: Awesome. This was a terrible idea.
- "Dante's Inferno" is full of funny moments.
- The Running Gag of Dante's constant fainting and fan-squeeing.Virgil: Guess who gets to babysit this loser all the way to Purgatory?
- Paris and Achilles are in the Second Circle of Hell, which is reserved for the lustful. Paris is clearly enjoying himself, but Achilles...not so much.
- Red turns out to be an Interactive Narrator when she makes an Incredibly Lame Pun about the heretics in flaming coffins and the characters all turn around and glare at her.
- The Freeze-Frame Bonus jokes abound in this video. You'll likely need to pause and rewind several times just to catch most of them.
- The Running Gag of Dante's constant fainting and fan-squeeing.
- In "Purgatorio", we have one instance of Black Comedy where Virgil and Dante notice the Terrace of Envy doesn't have any statues or any visual representation of what lack of Envy looks like. And our heroes learn the reason the hard way:Red: The reason for this becomes clear when we see that the souls in this terrace have their eyes sewn shut! ("Scream of Horror Incoming", followed by appropriately loud shriek!) Yeah, purgatory isn't all fun and games.
- In "Paradiso," Red decides to represent Saint Bernard as a Saint Bernard.
- Upon discovering that God is "A circle full of book and rainbows":Red: Wait, wait, wait one sec. Are you telling me God is a Reading Rainbow?!(Reading Rainbow title theme plays)Red: Oh my god, my childhood just got so much more theologically significant!
- Upon discovering that God is "A circle full of book and rainbows":
- In the summarization of The Iliad:
- As Randy Newman's song (you know the one) plays with a reference to a certain Pixar movie series, clips from the movie "Troy" play and stop just short of when a random soldier is about to get javelined through the face.Red: Yeah, yeah.
- Ajax the Lesser is portrayed as a miniature warrior clinging to Ajax the Greater's helmet.
- Hector's irate expression when Zeus wakes him up, and his bewildered side-eye when Helen interrupts her exposition to scream "ALSO I AM A HUGE SLUT."
- Red accurately describing Diomedes' and "Only Sneaky Guy in the Entire Greek Army" Odysseus' infiltration of the Trojan camp as a Metal Gear Solid level. Odysseus even has a Solid Snake headband.Odysseus: You'll want me as well. I have actual cognitive faculties.
- Diomedes' solo adventure in Book 5:
- First, an annoyed Athena viewing the battlefield spots Ares flexing and Aphrodite being a Shipper on Deck.
- Second, a tiny Athena poofs! in front of Diomedes, giving him the ability to see the incognito gods.Athena: And let me be clear about this — do not fight the gods. You will lose. Unless it's Aphrodite, then fight all you want! She's somewhere between a marshmallow fluff and a baby chick in terms of battle prowess!
- Diomedes then chucks a spear through Aphrodite's wrist, to which she understandably reacts by screaming "OW, F**K!" at the top of her lungs (still with the godly reverb) and dropping the person she was ferrying to safety. As a bonus, the person she was carrying was her son Aeneas.
- Aeneas gets picked up by Apollo, who Diomedes promptly tries to stab as well. Apollo flares up into full god-mode and gets him to back off.Apollo: Step off, kid. Some of us gods are a little sturdier than Aphrodite.
- After that he's a bit more leery about attacking Ares, but is encouraged by the tiny Athena that reappears on his shoulder.Athena: Diomedes! Why aren't you hitting him?
Diomedes: Be... cause you told me not to?
Athena: Forget what I said, kid! You're the best! AROUND!
- He then proceeds to jab a sword into Ares' gut. Red says that according to videogame logic, he should have become the new God of War, but instead Ares runs and complains to an unsympathetic Zeus.Zeus: Man up, you gigantic disappointment!
Red: (on a teary-eyed Ares) So now Ares hurts on the outside and the inside.
- Odysseus is represented by Solid Snake, complete with a bandana, and he infiltrates the Trojan camp in a cardboard box.
- As Randy Newman's song (you know the one) plays with a reference to a certain Pixar movie series, clips from the movie "Troy" play and stop just short of when a random soldier is about to get javelined through the face.
- In the summarization of The Aeneid:
- There's a running gag about the localization of the Greek Pantheon to their Roman names. This is shown as a character walking in and erasing the Greek name before replacing it with the Roman one... until he gets to Apollo, who promptly disintegrates him with Finger Gun lasers because Apollo is also named Apollo in the Roman Pantheon as well. This is then followed up when we get to Hermes who apparently goes untranslated for no adequate reason, leading to this exchange:Hermes: Apollo, did you disintegrate the localization guy?!
- Then near the end the localization guy returns to rename Hephaestus to Vulcan, to which Red chimes in with "no relation" as an entirely different Vulcan is shown together with the formerly named Hephaestus.Spock: This joke was deemed illogical, but necessary.
- Whenever The Prophecy is mentioned, there's a fanfare of music. Either guitar string riffs, trumpets, choir, or otherwise. The Brick Joke has it being briefly being represented by a party favor.
- Red getting annoyed with the Roman localization of the Greek gods.
- The illustration of Aeneas fleeing the city with his son in tow and his father slung over his shoulder.Ascanius: Dad where are we going?
Anchises: Aeneas you forgot my meds —
Aeneas: Dad so help me I will drop you.
- Venus stops her son from murdering Helen.Venus: Nooooo! Aeneas don't kill her she's too pretty!
Helen: [Face Palm] Gawd.
- Blue briefly crashes the video to talk about something he brought up in his own video about the Roman Republic, and ends up getting kicked in the face for it.Red: NO!
Red: My video!
- Homer pops in whenever Virgil rips off The Odyssey, understandably upset.Homer: DUDE!!
Virgil: Shh, I'm busy.
- Then near the end, Virgil stops ripping off The Odyssey.. and starts ripping off The IliadVirgil: Well, that was fun!
Homer: Are you done?
Virgil: Time for books 7 through 12!
Homer (offscreen): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- But before that, Virgil retcons one of his OCs onto Odysseus's crew.Achaemenides: Hiya captain!
Odysseus: Who the hell are you and how did you get on my ship.
- At the beginning Aeneas is cursed by a harpy to not reach Italy before his crew is so hungry that they eat their tables. Cut to near the end where he is eating proto-pizza, complete with a Little Ceasar's cardboard pizza box next to him. How does this present a loophole to avoid starvation?One of Aeneas's men: "Hey, check it out! We got so hungry we ate a bread / table / plate thing!
- This is then immediately followed up by Aeneas gasping The Prophecy! in realization in front of a background of pixel art pizza slices.
- Having finally found Italy, Juno (Romanized version of Hera) is having none of it and unleashes the Fury Alecto to cause havoc. How is she depicted doing this?Juno: Alecto, I choose you!
- There's a running gag about the localization of the Greek Pantheon to their Roman names. This is shown as a character walking in and erasing the Greek name before replacing it with the Roman one... until he gets to Apollo, who promptly disintegrates him with Finger Gun lasers because Apollo is also named Apollo in the Roman Pantheon as well. This is then followed up when we get to Hermes who apparently goes untranslated for no adequate reason, leading to this exchange:
- From the summary of Dracula:
- Red mentions how the defining character trait of vampires has shifted from horrifying and unholy to glamorous and sexy. She describes the change in the most hilarious way possible, which explains why it's the title picture for this page.Red: Much like Paradise Lost reimagining Satan into a sexy bad boy, something must have shifted the pop culture perspective on vampires from "inhuman monster" to (suddenly dramatic, with "Total Eclipse of the Heart" playing in the background, somewhere between extreme Mangst and extreme Wangst) "I'm a monster, baby. There's no saving me. You should just stay away, for your own good."
- As Jonathan tries to escape Dracula's castle while being pursued by the three vampire ladies, we get this scene :Vampire 1: Come down here so we can kill you!Vampire 2: But in a sexy way!Vampire 3: With bosoms!Jonathan: I'm too Victorian for this...
- Red describes Lucy Westenra as a "textbook ingenue who is pure and good and has too many boyfriends".
- One of Lucy's aforementioned boyfriends is summed up as "a walking personification of the state of Texas by the name of Quincey P. Morris, which, coincidentally, when we readers learn that Mr. Bram Stoker has never spoken to an American in his life."
- Red lampshades Lucy's mother's status as the Unwitting Instigator of Doom.Red: The only way she could have made this easier for Dracula was if she put down landing lights.
- The extra context provided on how Victorian novels would often have female characters falling mysteriously ill for the sake of drama, which leads to an illustration of Arthur saying, "John, help, Lucy's sick and not in a hot way."
- Anytime Van Helsing's "serious face" shows up.
- At the end, when Red is reading the epilogue, she mentions how Arthur and Seward are both happily married, although not to each other.Red: Boy, I misinterpreted that line....
- "And that's why vampires are sexy now! Thank you and good night!
- Red mentions how the defining character trait of vampires has shifted from horrifying and unholy to glamorous and sexy. She describes the change in the most hilarious way possible, which explains why it's the title picture for this page.
- From the summarization of Frankenstein:
- Red sums up the story as a whole at points as an exhaustive Nested Story, with Walton reacting with excitement at what he'll tell his sister and her appropriately confused reaction to the whole thing.
- The Rule of Three in place with the Fatal Flaw Victor faces throughout his story: Is he easily corruptible to new knowledge and risk becoming naïve or overly close-minded depending which extreme he chooses to follow to avoid becoming overwhelmed and jaded from knowledge about the creation of man? No, not really. Does he face future crippling insecurity at no longer being the smartest person in the classroom? No, not even close. Does his thirst for knowledge spiral out of control when he enrolls in college? Oh yes.
- As the monster tells his story after being abandoned:
- The mental image of what would happen if the monster's custom-made "bride" didn't actually want to marry him.The Monster: I'm alone and friendzoned!
The Bride: I'm alone and this creep thinks I owe him sex!
- From the MacBeth one, we have...this:
- While summarizing Beowulf, Red is initially surprised that it took three murder sprees by Grendel before Hrothgar finally decided to do something about it. But then she remembered that they were Nords and that their deaths was probably just seen as an excuse to party even harder. Her theory is instead that Hrothgar simply grew tired of having to install new doors every night.
- She calls Grendel's ire with the inhabitants of Heorot a "Grinch complex", and proceeds to insert "Heorot", "Danes", and "Grendel" in a bit of Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! text repurposed for the situation of constant partying instead of Christmas.
- In her video about Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra, Red's mind gets completely blown when she spots a certain actor in the movie version she's using as a reference.Red: Also, there's this guy Enobarbus who's Antony's servant and— oh my god! He had hair!?
- The video on Oedipus the King features a photograph of Sigmund Freud with added Bishie Sparkle and Blush Stickers.
- From the Underworld Myths video:
- When talking about how Isis and Nephthys put Osiris back together:Red: Unfortunately, Osiris ends up missing a...very important piece. (gags)
- Horus and Anubis are depicted to be listening in on their parents and when they start rebuilding his most essential component, their dialogue gets replaced by hieroglyphs with the two suggesting that their talking about "Really gross grown-up stuff". Translating said hieroglyphs...
- Horus and Set end up fighting over what Set did to Osiris, and they both lose... important organs.
- Izanagi picks the worst time to start making puns:Red: But unfortunately, one of the kidsnote turns out to be a little...Izanagi: Too hot to handle! He really warms the heart. Really lights up my life. He's positively radiant.Izanami: (weakly) Izanagi, I'm dying...Izanagi: What? But I'm just warming up!Izanami: (angrily) IZANAGI!Izanagi: Wow, come on, where's the fire?
- Red's summarizarion of Asu-shu-namir's myth:
- When talking about how Isis and Nephthys put Osiris back together:
- The Pygmalion/Galatea video is ripe full of hilarity.
- Red's exasperation with Pygmalion's... odd expectations of a woman. Namely that they don't do things like speak or have sex.Red: I don't know how to tell you this, buddy, but we do have a word for that now. Several words, actually.Pygmalion: STOOOP!
- Red draws comparisons between Pygmalion's adoration of Galatea with the modern obsession of waifus, especially with Japanese body pillows. This later leads to this gem of a line:Red: He begs [Aphrodite] to bring his waifu to life-u.
- Aphrodite gets introduced to the chorus of "Single Ladies".
- Red's exasperation with Pygmalion's... odd expectations of a woman. Namely that they don't do things like speak or have sex.
- From Amaterasu and the Cave, Red assures the audience that's she's not kidding or exaggerating when she mentions how the gods suggested that Ame-no-Uzume lure Amaterasu out of the cave with a striptease.
- "Sisyphus Captures Death":
- The representation of Sisyphus' scheme to take advantage of Persephone's kind nature by ensuring his wife doesn't bury him properly is him casually noting that as an angry Thanatos looms over him...and then when he gets his body back, casually walking back in his house as his wife shrieks in terror.
- After Thanatos gets imprisoned in Sisyphus' castle, it takes a month for Ares and Hades to figure out that the missing Thanatos might be found somewhere in the vicinity of the troublesome mortal Hades dispatched him to take care of.Athena: Uh, duh, you guys.
Aphrodite: Well, we can't all have cities with fully developed legal systems.
- Sisyphus' fraudulously peaceful fate karmically comes full circle when he finally dies of old age and finds himself face to face with all three death gods he's pissed off, all of whom are giving him a different variety of Death Glare (Thanatos is cracking his knuckles, Persephone is trembling with rage, and Hades is just exasperated).
- The Poetic Edda has plenty of hilarious moments.
- Red beforehand tells the audience to set aside their Marvel-based assumptions about the Norse pantheon before the video begins.
- Red's pronunciation problems seem to be consistent: consider her attempt to pronounce "Völuspá" in the Poetic Edda summarization.Red: Before we go any further, I'd like to apologize profusely for my complete inability to pronounce Icelandic words. With that in mind, this is the vURLSHbAa.
Subtitles: (Not quite, Red.)
Red: So the V-Vu... ...*dismayed sigh*
Red, later in the video: Now that's where the creation myth basically ends, and the narrator for the Vuh... Vöurshbuh...
Subtitles: (Keep trying.)
- Red brings up how mythological Loki was "nowhere near as cute as Tom Hiddleston would have you believe", at which moment mythological Loki shows up and insists that he was definitely cute.
- Thor is none too pleased with having to dress up as Freya to get his hammer Mjölnir back from the king of the frost giants. On the way to Jotunheim accompanied by Loki, who's posing as his maidservant, Thor has a sudden realization:Loki: Ooh, look! Jotunheim!
- What follows is Seven stanzas of dwarf names, some of which seems... suspiciously... famili TOLKIEN YOU HACK!
- Lokis "best horse mom" mug - a literal Mythology Gag.
- In the Miscellaneous Myths episode about Cu Chulainn, to represent the titular hero enduring a lot of cheating from the opposing army, one thing he gets hit with is *TWENTY-NINE SIMULTANEOUS RIGHT HOOKS*, which he takes while barely flinching.
- Later on, when the queen of that army hires a guy to kill Cu Chulainn, she references that attack.Queen Medb: And he just tanked 29 right hooks!Lugaid: ...Who does that?
- And the account of Chulainn distracting Aife by pulling a Look Behind You is played humorously as well. Scathach's face when he suddenly jumps into the fray is priceless as well.Cu Chulainn: Is that YOUR chariot going over that cliff?Aife: (turns around) BINKY NO!
- And then Cu Chulainn... makes a kid with Aife as part of their agreement, and she accepts...Red: ...and spares her life, on the condition that she call off her blood feud with Scathach (shocked voice) and also have his kid. Which... she does. ...cool?... How old is he again?
- And then Cu Chulainn... makes a kid with Aife as part of their agreement, and she accepts...
- "Then he hulks out and kills these three guys but is brought down by the power of boobs."
- The fact that whilst in his warp spasm, Chulainn (as a giant hulk made of sinew) looks away in embarrassment from the sight of boobs.
- Lugh, Cu Chulainn's father shows up to provide some Deus ex Machina. He does so by declaring "It is I, your fairy dadmother" and then knocks him out.
- Later on, when the queen of that army hires a guy to kill Cu Chulainn, she references that attack.
- In the video for Eros and Psyche's story, Aphrodite tasks Psyche with four tasks to win back Eros's love. Then a title card shows up for about two seconds to tell us that Psyche's sisters fell off a cliff and died.
- Also from that video, when Eros goes to Zeus to make Psyche immortal, this exchange occurs:
- The video starts off with her describing Psyche as a Princess ("plot twist?"), who's beautiful ("plot twist?") and lonely ("plot twist?!")
- Red sums up Aphrodite's hatred of Psyche for being prettier than her:My god, it's just like high school.
- Red's response to Aphrodite's plan to make Psyche fall in love with a hideous monster is Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?
- The card of Eros in prison, sick of his moms antics:Eros: Seriously, Mom, Im fine! Stop torturing my girlfriend!!!
- The video on Heracles has several hilarious moments.
- Hera doesn't recognize the infant Heracles and nurses him, only to realize that he's a toothy baby when he, as Red describes it, "boob noms" a little too hard.
- Heracles heads off to fight the Erymanthian Boar with the caption "ALL RIGHTY THEN LET'S GO FIGHT A PIG", only to immediately follow up with him getting drunk with a centaur, with the caption changing to "JUST KIDDING LET'S GO GET SMASHED WITH A MAN HORSE".
- Eurystheus sends Heracles off to retrieve the girdle of Hippolyta, a task that Heracles is rather enthusiastic about.Eurystheus: Go retrieve the girdle of Hippolyta.Heracles: ...Is this just a transparent attempt to get me laid, dude?
- When trekking across the desert to steal the cattle of Geryon, Heracles gets so grumpy and overheated that he fires an arrow at the sun, giving a disoriented scream of "MY KINGDOM FOR A JUICE BOX!"
- Red's rendition of the story of Arachne, which can be summed up as "Athena Desperately Tries To Choke Back On Her Greek God Reactions When Faced With Someone Too Dumb to Live."
- Athena scopes out the situation disguised as an old woman."Old Woman": Hello missy. What's this I hear?
Arachne: Just a little light blasphemy!
- Arachne's expression after Athena drops her mortal disguise perfectly encapsulates the feeling of Oh, Crap!.
- After destroying Arachne's distasteful tapestry of Zeus' (read: Athena's father) sexual proclivities, Athena whacks Arachne over the head with a weaving shuttle, and Red guesses she did so while yelling "WHAT. WERE. YOU. THINKING?!" to emphasize the point.Athena: Considering your audience is essential when creating any form of art! [schrippp]
- Arachne retains her sass even after being turned into a spider.Arachne: [woven into a cobweb] WHAT THE HECK
Athena: Aw, you're fine. You can still make your art!
Arachne: [begins weaving something else]
Athena: You better not be drawing dicks.
- Athena scopes out the situation disguised as an old woman.
- In The "Miscellaneous Myths: Aphrodite" video, Red apparently had a bit of a field day censoring the various pictures depicting the titular goddess. Pixellation wasn't enough; she tossed up various text bits that are worth a good chuckle, such as a later one griping that there are no pictures of the goddess that have her clothed above the waist.
- Red refers to the Aphrodite Backstory where she gets created when Ouranos' severed testicles fall into the sea as the "bath bomb ballsack" version.
- When discussing how Aphrodite mainly stopping being a war goddess when she got to Greece, you can see bandages covering a wound on her wrist, likely caused by a man named Diomedes.
- When the war goddess version of Aphrodite is introduced to the rest of Greece, their reaction is "Athenian Gasp!"
- Red discusses the Pegasus:Red: Now, most of you probably know what the Pegasus is, but his origins are a little wackier than you might think.
[cut to a bird seated at a candlelit table, making sexy eyes at a horse]
Red: Yep, even wackier than that.
- From the video on Dionysus, we get this exchange:Orphic Dionysus: Yeah, I died one time, no big.Dionysus: I thought I died once. Turns out that's just what happens when you make daiquiris with Hephaestus's special stash.
- During the explanation of the Dionysia and how Pisistratus imported it to Athens, there's a part where the tyrant is explaining just what Dionysus would do to the junk of those who refused to worship him.. Dionysus himself is hovering over Psistratus' shoulder, first looking confused and then very concerned when the tyrant tells the crowd what he's going to do to them.Red: This is not a joke, and is also the reason why the Dionysia would feature a parade with people carrying sculpted junk.
- During the explanation of the Dionysia and how Pisistratus imported it to Athens, there's a part where the tyrant is explaining just what Dionysus would do to the junk of those who refused to worship him.. Dionysus himself is hovering over Psistratus' shoulder, first looking confused and then very concerned when the tyrant tells the crowd what he's going to do to them.
- "Tam Lin":
- Bonny Janet getting "caught" in Carterhaugh.Tam Lin: What are you doing in my haunted glen at this time of night? Don't you know the stories?
Janet: Aw, jeez, looks like I left my rings and cloak at home! Well, I'm sure I can think of something to offer you... [Tam Lin stares at her] Look, you're cute and everyone at my dad's castle is like, super old.
Red: So Janet and Tam Lin do what young attractive singles do —
[Sexy Discretion Shot of the moon over Carterhaugh]
Tam Lin: Aw man.
- Bonny Janet getting "caught" in Carterhaugh.
- The Theogony:
- When talking about Zeus and Metis making Kronos vomit up his children, Red visualizes this by drawing Kronos doing a Spit Take after drinking some tea, with said children flying out with the spit.
- Zeus and Hera birthing Hephaestus and Ares is visualized with a drawing of Hera nonchalantly tossing Hephaestus over her shoulder while tenderly holding Ares. Zeus appears to be doing a Double Take at this.
- Red attempts to differentiate what Zeus did to Metis... but does relent that it was an ironic, stupid and horrible move on his part.Red: Zeus, wanting to remain super-cool-badass-god-of-everything forever, solves the problem (of Gaia's prediction of the two birthing a smarter and stronger daughter and son who would supplant him) by eating Metis, but not in like a murder way, more like a... subsuming-her-essence-into-himself-so-she-can-give-him-wisdom-and-advice way... is that better...? Eh, still a huge dick move.
- Red attempts to differentiate what Zeus did to Metis... but does relent that it was an ironic, stupid and horrible move on his part.
- Red reasons that Aphrodite spent the next few millenia after her birth "showering with a Thousand-Yard Stare." Well, you probably would too after learning you were conceived from a pair of severed testicles being thrown into the ocean.
- Once Zeus manages to dodge the prophecy of his child overthrowing him:Red: Zeus, having successfully dodged the destiny of being supplanted by his own kid by learning the lessons of history his father had failed to internalize, proceeds to flagrantly bang his way across the Mediterranean secure in the knowledge that this could literally never go badly for him.Red: Ever. (ominous closing-up on Kratos) Eeeeeeeeeeeeeever.
- In the "Momotarō" episode, his second companion is a monkey.
- In "Iphigenia":
- Menelaus starts having qualms about the Human Sacrifice of his niece. Agamemnon isn't having it.Agamemnon: No! There are no take-backsies on god-solicited murder attempts!
- Clytemnestra tears a hole in the fake-marriage scheme simply by talking to the "groom."Achilles: Wait, what? I can't be getting married! What'll I tell my hetero life-mate Patroclus?
- Menelaus starts having qualms about the Human Sacrifice of his niece. Agamemnon isn't having it.
- In the Theseus and Pirithous video (where the latter wants to steal Persephone and marry her), we get this line as they sit down to dinner, invited by 'a slightly livid Hades':Red: May as well get to know your future husband-in-law before kidnapping and marrying his wife.
- From the video about King Arthur:
- The tale of Gawain and the Green Knight also ramps up the "poly-armoury" with Gawain having to kiss the Green Knight three times due to a "I give you whatever I get and you give me whatever you get" deal, as the Green Knight's wife keeps flirting with Gawain and he can't sleep with her nor can he turn her down.Green Knight: (after Gawain kisses him on the cheek) Aw! Who'd you get this from? (BIG grin)
- During the first appearance of the titular Green Knight, King Arthur eventually accepts the wager looking utterly exasperated, and Red calls him King "I'm getting too old for this fairy nonsense" Arthur.Arthur: Let's get this over with.
- During the first appearance of the titular Green Knight, King Arthur eventually accepts the wager looking utterly exasperated, and Red calls him King "I'm getting too old for this fairy nonsense" Arthur.
- From the Huitzilopochtli video, Coatlicue gets her head cut off by her daughter Coyolxauhqui, but her neck sprouts two huge snakes.Coatlicue: YOU ARE SO GROUNDED
- From the Five Suns video, the way the First Sun bit it was a pissed off Tetzcatlipoca summoning a rain of jaguars...very vocal jaguars.Raining Jaguars: MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW
- Her reaction when finding out about Cipactli and how the gods built the earth from it's still living body which is only kept docile with regular sacrifices.Red: So in the Aztec cosmology, the earth itself is a starving primordial monster that want's nothing more than to eat everything at all times.... lets file that under Yikes! and move on...
- Also gets a callback later.Red: And remember to pour one out for Cipactli once in a while, Blood sacrifices keep the planet from eating your feet!
- Her reaction when finding out about Cipactli and how the gods built the earth from it's still living body which is only kept docile with regular sacrifices.
- At one point in the Bellerophon video, Red skips over an unimportant part by saying, "...but after a confusing incident involving some divine intervention from Poseidon and a whole bunch of naked women..." This never gets followed up on.
- In the Hippolytus video, Poseidon's initial reaction to hearing that the titular character's dad wants him punished for supposedly raping his stepmother is "Oh crap, that's a crime now?"
- For the Hermes video, Red having way too much fun with the fact that Hermes starts his trickery "literally the day he was born."Baby Hermes: MISCHIEF TIME!
- Also, Hermes' conception:Maia: Zeus, you dick.Hera: (on Olympus) What?!Zeus: Nothing, Hera dear!Maia: I live in a cave to avoid this crap!
- Even as a baby, Hermes is a snarky little troll.Apollo: WHERE ARE MY COWS?!Hermes: Now what would I, a mere infant, know of these "cows" you speak of?
- And as a god-sized cherry on top, Zeus is just laughing his head off at said trickery.
- There's a brief shot of Heracles while Red is discussing Greek mythos and its fascination with underdogs, with him heroically running and the caption "ALL RIGHTY THEN LET'S GO FIGHT A PIG!"
- Also, Hermes' conception:
- The video on Io sums up Zeus in a single sentence:Zeus: Rejoice, mortal, for I have decreed that we shall bang!
- Heracles and his family tree, which has Red commenting on how much incest keeps popping up in the family line, most of it from Zeus, Zeus 2: Electric Boogaloo, and Zeus 3: This Time It's Personal.
- The transformed Io explains things to her father by writing with her hoof in the dirt. In the usual version, she just writes her name. Here, she elaborates:KICK ZEUS IN THE—
- The ending of the video on Atlantis, in which Red states that the weirdest thing she learned while researching the topic is learning that Timaeus and Critias weren't just random names made up for the Waking the Dragons arc of Yu-Gi-Oh!Red: Yu-Gi-Oh! knew more about Atlantis then I did... that one... that one kinda stung.
- Red explaining how Blue is terrified to watch Aquaman:Blue: The deeper you go, the more nightmares there are. There's always a BIGGER FISH!
- Red explaining how Blue is terrified to watch Aquaman:
- In the Utgard-Loki video, the increasingly silly embarrassments that Thor and Loki face while trying to impress Utgard-Loki, including Thor failing to pick up a cat and then losing a wrestling match to an old lady.
- "Odin didn't raise no quitter, but he definitely raised a fool or two."
- It turns out that Utgard-Loki is mostly a sneaky trickster and master of illusions. This backfires spectacularly because of how overpowered Thor is, and the increasingly horrified looks on the giant's face when he realizes how OP Thor actually is.Red: The drinking horn that Thor failed to empty was actually connected to the ocean, which is clearly undrinkable, but through his valiant efforts to get drunk, he managed to lower the world's water level several feet. This is the first time Utgard-Loki is like "Oh balls, I might be in over my head."
- "Unorthodox display of hubris, but very well."
- In the Animal Brides video, Red is just so done with the self-centered, entitled pricks who manipulate and/or coerce these "animal brides" into marrying them, to the point of playing Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" as bumper music.
- For the Swan Bride myth, the peasant hunter's Imagine Spot of the beautiful swan-woman he is in love with has a thought cloud of her saying "My diet is mostly bugs."
- The same segment has him dying of grief within a year - and his tombstone reads "How could this happen to me? I've made my mistakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes-"
- One of Red's guitar strings unexpectedly breaks during the end credits.
- For the Swan Bride myth, the peasant hunter's Imagine Spot of the beautiful swan-woman he is in love with has a thought cloud of her saying "My diet is mostly bugs."
- For the Jorogumo myth, Red talks about how the titular yokai is deviating form the usual creepy spider myth by also shapeshifting into a beautiful woman. Cue Blue showing up to talk about another case of this happening.Red: Tolkien's crippling arachnophobia did not die for this.
- For the legend of El Dorado, the sheer amount of totally deserved misfortune that befalls the Spaniards trying to reach it.
- First of all, the sacred lake filled with golden artifacts that no one can get to. First in 1545, they try to drain the lake via bucket chain, which does let them extract a modest but nonetheless profitable amount of gold from the lowered shores. Next in 1580, an entrepreneur tries to make a notch to lower the lake further, and the notch collapses, killing most of the workers and bankrupting the company. Finally in 1898, a company manages to drain the entire lake....turning it into four feet of muck that swiftly turned to concrete under the sun and imprisoned the gold within it, leaving them unable to make back their money and bankrupting the company. At that point they gave up trying to extract the gold and made the lake a protected site in 1965.Red: Wow, it's almost like this lake is deeply sacred and f*cking with it is just asking for trouble!
- The natives repeatedly tricking conquistadors into going to dangerous places by spreading rumors that it's the way to El Dorado. And yet, even though the majority of these expeditions result in everyone dying, the conquistadors keep falling for it.Red: I feel like the third time I got bricked into my own basement, I would stop falling for the Amontiado gambit...
- And the clincher? The conquistadors don't find as much gold as they like, but it turns out to be the only place in the world where platinum is abundant, which they throw away as scrap, not knowing that a single pile of the stuff would eventually be worth an entire city of gold. It gets so bad that people eventually use platinum to counterfeit gold coins and Spain winds up dumping their entire nation's supply of platinum into the ocean. Red is positively gleeful at the irony.Red: It's such an incredibly apt metaphor for the flaws in the colonialist system and how the lust for gold literally blinded them to the true, unique value of the New World that if I read this in a book, I would've called the writer a hack!
Audience: OHHH the colonizers dismissed the incredibly valuable and unique resource of the colonies as worthless scrap because they're too busy digging for their own personal currency they've arbitrarily assigned value to? Yeah! Nice! And I bet the "real" treasure was the friends they made along the way, right?
Red: I swear, nothing owns Colonial Spain harder than it owned itself.
- First of all, the sacred lake filled with golden artifacts that no one can get to. First in 1545, they try to drain the lake via bucket chain, which does let them extract a modest but nonetheless profitable amount of gold from the lowered shores. Next in 1580, an entrepreneur tries to make a notch to lower the lake further, and the notch collapses, killing most of the workers and bankrupting the company. Finally in 1898, a company manages to drain the entire lake....turning it into four feet of muck that swiftly turned to concrete under the sun and imprisoned the gold within it, leaving them unable to make back their money and bankrupting the company. At that point they gave up trying to extract the gold and made the lake a protected site in 1965.
- For the video on Krishna:
- The newborn Krishna flips his Evil Uncle the bird.
- Putana asks to breastfeed infant Krishna. Why?Red: She has actually poisoned her boobs! How dastardlyPutana flashes a wicked grin
- Shortly afterward, he survives poisoned breast milk by directly sucking the woman's life force through her nipples, and Red calls it merely the first in the list of Krishna using his almighty powers to eat stuff he shouldn't.Red: Next stop, dirt.Krishna Eats Some DirtRed: What, you thought I was joking?
- Followed by:Krishna Discovers Capitalism
- When Krishna is challenged to a fight with the unbeatable wrestler Chanura, "Red Sun Rising" starts playing. And much like Sundowner, Chanura realizes he's bitten off waaaaaaay more than he can chew just a bit too late.
- Also, how Chanura gets the otherwise supremely chill Krishna to fight him.Chanura: And your dad sucks.Krishna: (still smiling serenely) Perish.
- Chanura's partner attempts to taunt Krishna's older brother Balarama into joining the fight. Unfortunately for him, Balarama has no chill and without hesitation tackles him then kills him.
- When Chanura is trying and failing to get Krishna to fight him, in the background is the Navy SEAL copypasta.
- Krishna just casually snapping Chanura's neck with that same serene smile on his face.Red: What, you thought this would be hard? This is Krishna we're talking about.
- Immediately followed up by Krishna's prophesied battle with his uncle which ends...pretty much how you'd expect.Kansa: FACE ME, CHILD OF PROPHECY!
- After Krishna fulfills his prophesy, among the things he does is duplicate himself to have sex with 16,000 princesses at the same time.Red: Sit down, Aphrodite, there's a new love god in town, and he's got you beat on sheer numbers!
- On the story of Tantalus:
- When Red notes that Tantalus was a son of Zeus, she says that it was about as common as being left handed.
- After his son Pelops was resurrected and given a prosthetic ivory arm, Red notes that he went on to father the House of Atreus, a long line of kings with tragic lives, and also produced Agamemnon, which Red just assumes was added to Tantalus' rap sheet.Agamemnon: What a beautiful day to be the worst person alive!Hades: (To an already annoyed looking Tantalus, about Agamemnon) He just tricked his wife into bringing their daughter to the front so he could kill her. So we're making your pool unpleasantly cold now.
- How Red initially describes the Poet Pindar's version of the myth:Pindar: No, no, no, I know what they told you, but Pelops wasn't killed at that dinner, see, what happened was Poseidon took one look at him and got outrageously horny!
- How, in that case, did the cannibalism story arise? Out of the assumption that Poseidon's subsequent elopement with Pelops was a Deadly Euphemism.Woman 1: I hear he was "taken to Olympus by Poseidon."
Woman 2: Oh yeah he's dead as hell.
- Red pointing out the reason people like Tantalus get condemned to Tartarus is that violating hospitality is the thing Zeus gets rather cheesed about, being the god of rulership, storms, and hospitality. As shown by a cartoon:
- Red also gets confused the inherently flawed logic of the third version, where Tantalus was punished for trying to steal a golden dog created to guard baby Zeus by Haphaestus...AKA a son of Zeus...who was a baby at the time.Red: Look there's like five absurdities in that story, but the point is, he stole a dog. Who does that!? He deserves whatever he gets.
- Atalanta explains that, if anyone wants to marry her, they have to beat her in a foot race. And if they lose:
- From the Perseus video, when Red explains that Perseus and his mother were taken in by Dictys and his wife:Perseus: Mom, how come none of the other kids have two moms?
Danae: Because you're special.
Zeus: THAT IS NOT WHAT MAKES HIM SPECIAL
Dictys: You get to decide that when you raise him.
- In the myth about Typhon, it's incredulously ironic that when compared to his nemesis Zeus, Typhon is more romantic and faithful to his spouse Echidna than the lightning God would ever be to Hera.
Red: Zeus charges off after Typhon, and a truly epic battle commences — earthquakes, volcanoes, fire everywhere, thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening me! You know, the works.
- Describing the battle Zeus vs Typhon, Red references Bohemian Rhapsody:
- "Loki's Wager"
- When Loki cuts off Syph's hair, she merely looks confused, as though unaware of her haircut and wondering "Where did all these piles of blonde hair come from?"
- Freyr is at first confused by Skíðblaðnir, until it folds out on top of him, complete with Jojos Bizarre Adventure "To be continued".
- Odin askis if Draupnir's (the ring that makes eight copies of itself every nine days) copies also make copies. In the background, Brokk is screaming about the consequences that would have, complete with a whiteboard of math showing that earth would be covered in gold rings in 6 months. Sindri mearly says that they don't.
- Loki's speech bubble after the dwarves sew his mouth shut.
- Red's justification for why the dwarves are tall pretty boys in this story is that in Norse texts they might have been refered to also as "Svartalfar", dark elvesnote . Also, the dwarves in the story are sons of Ivalde, who's also Idunn's father. "Hot dwarves could very well be canon and you can't stop me".
- "Pride Tales"
- After Pele kills Hopoe, Hi'iaka's probably girlfriend, Red chastises Pele for contributing to the Bury Your Gays trope.
- When mentioning how the Toltec civilization was a bit more okay with male homosexuality than most others in Mesoamerica, Red represents this by giving a Toltec statue an "I may be straight but I don't hate" shirt.
- "The Book of Invasions"
- Red explaining how the word "Fomoire" is The Unpronouncable as she searched through the entire Internet and there is not a single concise way of saying it correctly before telling the comment section to fight over it.
- Since the book was written in christian times, the Tuatha Dé Danann are described not as a pantheon of gods but as powerful sorcerers. Red illustrates this by having the king Nuada wear a shirt saying "Extremely Human Person".
- In "Ares' Abduction", after the titular god is kidnapped, he's shown spending the entire time he's captured screaming the Navy SEAL copypasta.
- Also, Artemis' incredibly wooden flirting. (remember she's forsworn relationships), which somehow works anyway.
- When Artemis jumps between Ephialtes and Otus, making them throw spears at each other, she's shown with the "MENACING" Unsound Effect surrounding her.
- Red mentions that one of the suspected reasons why Ares gets such a bad treatment in the myths is because he embodies everything dark and unpleasant about war, like cruelty, pain, fear, and destruction, but he's still worshipped because these things are an inescapable part of war. Ares isn't liked but he's necessary... except for the Spartans who absolutely loved Ares, for obvious reasons.
- Otus's illustration of "Operation Waifu."Otus: Any questions?
Ephialtes: Why don't I have pecs?
- "The Minotaur" has the Cretan Bull take out a chart and, whilst holding a pointing stick in its mouth, demonstrate to Pasiphae that "no" it won't make out with bipeds, because "yes" it would rather make out with quadrapeds (specifically quadraped cows).
- Daedalus' reaction to Pasiphae's commission for a cow suit to get around the Bull's standards. And then he builds it anyway.
- Red just decides to skip that part of the myth, jumping straight to Pasiphaë holding a newborn minotaur.
- The Oracle of Delphi's pronouncement on the Minotaur and what Minos should do with him: "HE'S A GROWING BOY WHO NEEDS HIS SPACE."
- Minos locks Daedalus and Icarus in a tower with a supply box labeled "For Non-Escape Plans ONLY".
- Red is about to say Icarus and Daedalus's escape "is a story for another time", before she realizes technically she already told that story 4 years prior.
- The logistical problem of feeding the Minotaur.An indignant Minos on the phone: What do you mean you can't deliver to my labyrinth? Put your manager on!
- Red remarking that Athens shouldn't be so proud that Theseus is their heroic founder, with him uncomfortably looking over a long list of his What the Hell, Hero? and Nice Job Breaking It, Hero! moments.
- "Halloween Special: The Wild Hunt":
Red: All roads lead to Odin, apparently.
- Stith Thompson's Index of Folkloric Classification system used as an urban fantasy police code."Code E-221! E-221! We got a dead wife haunting husband on his second marriage!"
- After a brief look into the Einherjar (Odin's army of the dead), Red notes how awkward it must be for, say, Haakon the Good to sit down at dinner with Eric Bloodaxe, his murderer.
- Red follows the etymology of Harlequin from Herla Cyning, "king Herla," theorized to be another name for Odin, and realizes that Odin seems to be the origin of every western european folkloric figure.
- Stith Thompson's Index of Folkloric Classification system used as an urban fantasy police code.
Modern Classics Summarized
- Red refuses to illustrate her video for Of Mice & Men, instead using the '90s adaptation. Her reasoning? She gets far more emotionally-attached to characters she's had to draw, citing her Big "WHY?!" reaction in The Odyssey as an example.
- Red describing H. P. Lovecraft as less "having issues" and more "a bundle of issues shambling around in a roughly bipedal form", and how his Trauma Conga Line of a life is almost a Kafka Comedy.
- When recapping his life, she mentions that he had access to a well-stocked home library, but "had too delicate a constitution for math." This causes her to briefly pause and give an Aside Glance at the audience.
- The initial captions also add a Flat "What" during the pause.
- She also theorizes that he may have suffered from an Inferiority Superiority Complex, as evidenced by the image that pops up when she discusses his racism.Drawing!Lovecraft: My superior blood sets me above the common man. Because if I'm not inherently exceptional, I'm just another shrinkingly insignificant mote in the cold, pitiless gaze of the unfeeling cosmos. And that'd just be incomprehensibly horrifying!
- Red imagines his reaction to the concept of the non-visible spectrum.Photograph!Lovecraft: You mean there exist colors that man has never seen? [sprouts a gigantic pair of Wiggle Eyes] What might they be capable of?!
- And once that results in another case of Artistic License Physics:
- The Running Gags of H.P. Lovecraft's initials meaning something else (e.g. "Hates Progress Lovecraft"), and, throughout the segment on "The Colour Out of Space," the (creepy music) "mysterious color unlike any seen on Earth."
- In The Call of Cthulhu, the speech at the archaeology academics' meeting:Speaker: And in conclusion, the world must never know that "for ritual purposes" is code for "we have no idea what this is."
- And indeed, "ritual purposes" is the first suggestion thrown out regarding the Cthulhu statuette.
- "Oh, but don't worry, circa-1920's New England readers, I know you wanna know the exact ethnic backgrounds and skin color of these cultists before you render moral judgement. Well don't you worry, Lovecraft has you covered!"Inherent Moral Superiority: VALIDATED
- "I won't say Lovecraft got subtler about his deep abiding loathing and terror of anyone with a skin tone darker than pantone 727, but this is probably the most all-inclusive it ever gets in his writing."
- Her description of what happens to the sailors after the first appearance of Cthulhu:Red: The island's terrifying geometry notwithstanding, the sailors soldier on until they encounter a very big door. Following (I guess) video game logic, the sailors agree that opening this very big door sounds like a fun idea, and—surprise surprise—Cthulhu comes out. Way to do the cult's job for them, geniuses! So two of the sailors die of fright, one trips on a corner and clips through the map, and three of them get squished. Johansen and one other guy exit pursued by Cthulhu, and once in the boat, Johansen, brave, snow-white Norwegian that he is, turns the boat around and rams the pursuing Cthulhu right in his big jelly face. It smells awful, there's jelly everywhere, but as the boat retreats, Cthulhu is seen pulling himself back together. Because if you could kill an Elder God the same way you kill a rampaging Disney villain, most of Lovecraft's stories would have very different tones.
- "JUST MOVE AWAY."
- Her exasperated reaction to the oh-so-subtle "Gilman Hotel" in Innsmouth.note
- She also calls him Robert "What-Are-Warning-Bells" Olmstead at his dogged persistence of travelling the cheapest way possible.
- The Freeze-Frame Bonus brochure Olmstead picks up at the information booth:COME TO INNSMOUTH
WE HAVE FISH
- Red describes Innsmouth's fish fuckery as "Shape of Water-shenanigans."
- She concludes the video with an acoustic rendition of "Under the Sea", partially because she can't help but think how horrified Lovecraft would have been by the modern "hot fish people" trope, with Ariel greeting Robert Olmstead.
- The professors of Miskatonic University confront The Dunwich Horror with spells, an anti-invisibility potion... "and a really big gun."Dr. Morgan: We don't know it won't work! Get off my back!
- Speaking of Miskatonic University, this is what Wilbur says when he turns up there looking for the Necronomicon:
- This is shortly followed by the librarian looking over Wilbur's shoulder, triggering a technicolor background and spooky music to signify the eldritch lore he was gleaning from the convenient page.
- Red describes mysterious goings-on at the Whateley farm:Red: [The Whately family] also start[s] buying a lot of cows, although oddly, they never seem to have a lot of cows.
- When recapping his life, she mentions that he had access to a well-stocked home library, but "had too delicate a constitution for math." This causes her to briefly pause and give an Aside Glance at the audience.
- In "A Christmas Carol", Red mentions that she'd like to use clips from her favorite adaptation, but doesn't want to deal with copyright claims from "the multi limbed Eldritch Abomination that is the House of Mouse", accompanied by a drawing of Red wielding a sword against Nyarlathotep with a pixelated Mickey Mouse head on it.
- Red describing Jacob Marley shutting down Scrooge:Red: Marley responds by ripping off his head wrapping and his jaw falls off. Wow, if I could do that I would never lose an argument again!
- Red's attempt at describing the Ghost of Christmas Past and shortly thereafter comparing it to a Biblical angel.
- This delightful bit of Black Comedy:Red: Scrooge reads the room and asks the Ghost [of Christmas Present] if Tiny Tim is going to live and the Ghost is all "NOOOPE!"
- Red making jabs at how long it took Scrooge to figure out that the dead guy in the "Christmas Yet to Come" timeline was him.
- Red describing Jacob Marley shutting down Scrooge:
- For Lord of the Flies, Red dubs the conch shell "Shelley", then this happens.Red: So Ralph blows Shelley...(laughs)
Screen: I'M AN ADULT
- Even though All Quiet on the Western Front is incredibly depressing (y'know, because World War One), Red adds kittens to fill in scenes that weren't addressed in its movie adaptation, along with a few confused comments about why... well, because kittens and levity.
- The Nazis executing the author's sister explicitly because they couldn't get to him and then sending her sister the execution bill elicits a hilariously obvious "Guess what? Nazis are dicks, who knew?" from Red.
- Also from the beginning of the summarization, Red's narration of how Paul and his company got double their usual amount of food rations.Red: It's all thanks to (scene changes to Paul and company hurrying into a trench for safety) the unexpected shelling bombardment that wiped out half their company from 150 to 80. The cook didn't catch on in time, so woo-hoo, double rations for everybody! Yaaaay!
- Throughout the summary, a "War Is Hell Counter" ticks slowly upward as Red's description goes on. At 43, the newest batch of fresh-faced recruits comes out, and it reacts "OH MY GOD THOSE ARE BABIES NOPE I'M OUT"
- In the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde video, Jekyll's final note ends with him writing "Should've just gotten a cursed portrait like that Dorian guy down the road."
- Red also ends the video by declaring Dr. Jekyll a better example of a Mad Scientist than Victor Frankenstein, since Jekyll was an actual doctor who took risks and used himself as a test-subject instead of a college dropout who abandoned their first experiment because it had the wrong eye color.Victor: And then my experiment worked but it was really spooky and the eyes were all wrong so I ran away and got sick for three months :cDoctor Jekyll, Sc.D.: [In the middle of pouring an unknown chemical into a can of Red Bull and chugging it] Unfortunate.
- When describing the viewpoint character, Gabriel Utterson, Red illustrates that he has "less personality than a sandwich" by abruptly switching his face to a vastly simplified one with dots for eyes and a tiny mouth. This art style is also used for the faces of Utterson's "equally boring cousin," Hyde's murder victim, and Jekyll playing innocent.
- Red points out that, due to Victorian social mores, the "unspecified base urges" of Jekyll could have been anything from eating orphans to a liking for drag. This provokes a Brick Joke later when, after Hyde really starts getting into Jekyll's A Darker Me instincts, he laughs maniacally when he realizes he can finally... gamble on Go Fish.
- When Hyde is no longer available as an outlet for those urges, Jekyll turns to Ashley Madison.Jekyll: I sure do love completely reliable anonymity.
- Red also ends the video by declaring Dr. Jekyll a better example of a Mad Scientist than Victor Frankenstein, since Jekyll was an actual doctor who took risks and used himself as a test-subject instead of a college dropout who abandoned their first experiment because it had the wrong eye color.
- Edgar Allan Poe:
- Poe wails over The Lost Lenore a little too literally.The late Mrs. Poe: My name was Virginia, you ass.
- "You've saved me just in time, literary convention!"
- Red goes off on a slight tangent when discussing The Cask of Amontillado.Red: So the POV character in The Cask of Amontillado is Montresor, a... guy? He's a nobleman or something. You don't really need to know that much about him, since his primary defining feature is that he has this friend who he really hates. Why are they still friends, you might ask? Well, you know. It's like the Shakespearean duo, Iago and Othello. [a sketch of the aforementioned duo pops up] When you've known someone for so long and experienced so much together, when they start getting on your nerves a little, you don't just write them off like it's nothing. You work to preserve your friendship, because when all is said and done, [cue demonic music overtop Iago's serenely smiling face] nothing on this Earth is more satisfying than looking into their eyes one day and seeing the hope drain from their face as in one fell swoop you destroy them and all they hold dear. [music suddenly cuts out] Go read Othello. It's great.
- "And Fortunato's like, 'Dude!' and Montresor's like, 'Dude, indeed.'"
- Poe wails over The Lost Lenore a little too literally.
- In Stranger in a Strange Land, the frequent Author Tracts by Heinlein get their own mini-segment, Deep Thoughts With Heinlein, with a photo of his head on Socrates' body as Red gives her irreverent summaries of his speeches."Human society brainwashes us into accepting artificial limitations on our lives and choices. This is wrong. Love should be free, and without limits.
... Unless it's gay, of course."
- Everything do with the fact that Michael can apparently only explain the Martian concept of God through sex. Red takes a few minutes out to explain that yes, this this is leading exactly where you think it is, and to remove children in the audience.
- This episode also continues Red's Running Gag of depicting the sex scenes as card games.
- Red censors the characters' private parts with pictures of Heinlein's head throughout the video. One of the final shots is Michael's superpowered descendants T-posing through space to confront the Martians, with both the people and Heinlein's heads sporting Glowing Eyes of Doom.
- Red points out some Fridge Logic when Jill teaches Mike how to not attract gay people... by being as masculine as possible.Red: Because if there's one thing gay dudes don't like, it's... dudes...
- When government agents arrive to re-kidnap Mike, one of them punches Jill and Red draws a sign saying "This violence was brought to you by the government"
- The music in the Fosterite church is It's Raining Men.
- From the video description:
- In the Trope Talk for romantic subplots, Red goes on various slight tangents about controversial ships to expand on her points, which usually prompts clips from Pacific Rim of Kaiju, labelled as shippers of said ships being discussed, attacking Jaegers, who are labelled as the comments section.
- Before Red starts off her Trope Talk on plot twists, she gives us some backstory on the Game of Thrones show.Red: For those of you viewing this in the future, when both Game of Thrones and the polar ice caps are a distant, irrelevant memory...
- From her Trope Talk on pure evil villains, Red expresses her dislike of Thanos' motivation in Avengers: Infinity War and thinks they should have stuck with his motivation from the comics: trying to bang the thoroughly uninterested personification of Death.
- The Amnesia episode has Red's little sketches defaulting to the cause of the amnesia being a smack on the head with a pan. Especially funny when she's talking about degrees of fictional amnesia, while the guy getting smacked is casually saying "oh dang there goes March".
- When discussing the origins of the Five-Man Band trope, Red notes how the cast of Journey to the West has no one who really fills The Smart Guy role, "to the surprise of precisely nobody."
- When Red talks about the tournament arc in My Hero Academia, she has this wise summation about Bakugou:Red: It's rough being the rival when you think you're the protagonist.
- And she even gets a brief experience of how it feels to mimic his voice:Red: [puts on a low, gruff voice] "Why don't you fight ME like that?! Am I not good enough for you, Deku???!!!" [...] [chokes on her normal voice] Oh my god! How does his actor do that?!
- And she even gets a brief experience of how it feels to mimic his voice:
- In the Accents Trope Talk, on Pegasus' Gratuitous English in Yu-Gi-Oh!.Red: He was like the inverse of that person who sprinkles random Japanese into their English because they've gotten way into anime and they think that's sufficient to learn a language. To properly localize it, he probably should've been saying stuff like "Konichiwa, everybody! I'd like to welcome you to my simply sugoi tournament!"
- The Trope Talk for The Hero's Journey, which is made by Blue for a change.
- The intro is hilarious, especially his attempt to lure Red out by provoking her.Blue: Hey, Red, you won't believe the morning I had! I just fought off an entire horde of... *walks into the screen, plucking a shuriken from his hair* ...nin...jas... Red? *beat* Hey, look! Someone's writing characters based on antiquated stereotypes rather than personal experience! *beat* Huh. Guess she's not here after all...
- Later on about the increasing variability of the trope, in contrast to how rigid Joseph Campbell defined it:Blue: [...] any number of component parts can and usually are excluded from the final product, which is great, because with this generator we hooked up to Campbell's grave, we can power the entire Eastern Seaboard with how fast he's spinning!
- And the ending, where Red suddenly bursts into the room via magic portal behind the bookcase, dressed up in adventure gear and with a glowing bottle.Blue: Woah!Blue: Where have you been?! I just did a whole— Never mind! What is that?Red: An elixir, I think. It seemed important that I return with it.Blue: Huh.
- The intro is hilarious, especially his attempt to lure Red out by provoking her.
- In her talk on Magic, Red simplifies the use of spells as "wave your hands and something noticably happens that is not typically correlated with the waving of hands." She gives lighting, fire and 1d6 Dire Rats as an example.
- In her talk on Grimdark, she talks about the general idea that optimism is childish while pessimism is realistic. And concludes that it's a load of whooey.Red: Yeah, I said it! What're you gonna do, be sad at me about it?
- In the start of his video about the history of the Iroquois confederation, Blue says that he managed to get his hands on a rare and very accurate document detailing the history of this nation. Cue a cutscene from Assassin's Creed III.
- Which leads to a Brick Joke at the end of the video when Blue is talking about how Iroquois history is a great example of the value of peace and cooperation. Cut to Connor murdering a British soldier with a tomahawk.
- From the Pope Fights video:Benedict IX: I was told there would be snacks. I've been drinking wine and eating from this gigantic case of Nilla Wafers for three days straight, and for some reason the Cardinals are all mad at me now.Cardinals: THOSE WEREN'T FOR SNACKING YOU INCOMPETENT DUNCE!
- Pope Boniface VIII responding to an insult from Philip IV of France with a variation of the Navy Seal Copypasta.
- Blue's assumption that "at this point, St. Peter's probably thinking: Guys, what the hell?!, but Jesus is just omnisciently snacking on popcorn, loving every single minute of the drama."
- The plethora of alternate nicknames Blue gives to Alexander the Great in his video on the man are absolutely glorious. They all include, but certainly aren't limited to:
- Alexander the Soon-to-be-Great
- Alexander the Oblique
- Alexander the Swell
- Alexander the Shiny and New
- Alexander the Suddenly Preoccupied
- Alexander the Legit
- Alexander the Passable
- Alexander with the Good Hair
- Alexander the Thorough
- Alexander the Alright
- Alexander the Adaptable
- Alexander the Hostage Taker
- Alexander the Hamilton
- Alexander the Flammable
- Alexander the alriiiight, alriiiight, alriiiight
- Alexander the Insistent
- Alexander the Thoroughly Miffed
- Alexander the Persistent
- Alexander the Absolutely Flawless
- Alexander the Adventuresome
- Alexander the Overhyped
- Alexander the Regal
- Alexander the Feisty
- Alexander the Good Boy
- Alexander the Is Coarse and Rough and Irritating and Gets Everywhere
- Alexander the Demigod
- Alexander the Underwood
- Alexander the Not-Done-Yet
- Alexander the Elfheid
- Alexander the Ample
- Alexander the Tactically Gifted
- Alexander the Decent
- Alexander the Alexandest
- Alexander the A.O.K.
- Alexander the Eastbound
- Alexander the Blandly-Named
- Alexander the Sculpt-Me-Pretty-Or-I'll-Kill-You
- Alexander the Looking-More-Persian-By-The-Day
- Alexander the Still-Basically-Kind-Of-A-Teenager
- Alexander the Dead
- Alexander the Promachos
- Alexander the Aristos
- Alexander the Conqueror
- Alexander the Horseman
- Alexander the (ugh, damnit!) Great
- Which returns in the second Dumb History Tales video released two years later:
- And also gets a mention in the History Summarized: The Roman Republic video:
- Alexander The Shortsighted.
- And yet again in History Hijinks: Greek Wise Guys:
- Alexander The Not-Especially-Studious
- Alexander The Big-Deal King Guy
- Other gems from the Alexander video:
- The final item on Philip II's list of military innovations: spears longer than the Earth's radius.
- The newly enthroned Alexander intimidates rebels into submission by conducting military drills.Blue: This is the only instance I'm aware of in which an armed revolt was suppressed by a marching band routine.
- Alexander and Darius are puzzled by Blue's choice of dramatic music for the Battle of Gaugamela.Alexander: Dude, what's up with this music?
Darius: No idea, it's really thematically incongruous.
- Alexander's possible causes of death: fever, alcohol poisoning, and poison-poisoning.
- Blue describes the creation of Islam as "Muhammad goes out mountain climbing and just like that, badabing bada-one-true-god,note we have a shiny new religion."
- Muhammad is depicted in the video as a M-shaped Pakistani flag with sunglasses.
- Throughout the "Ptolemies" and "Cleopatra" videos, Blue is continually astounded at how intelligent and cunning Cleopatra VII was, seeing how many generations of inbreeding produced her. Doubles as heartwarming when he also mentions her caring side not only towards people she highly trusted, but also to the Egyptian people and her political allies, considering the fact that she's often been portrayed as a villainous-only ruler in most popular media, and/ or as a mere incidental figure to ancient Roman history (aka the one who brought down Marcus Anthony through seduction).
- On account of the Cleopatra-wrapped-in-a-rug story:Blue: ...likely derived from the queen being stuffed into a much less conspicuous laundry bag instead. And, by the way, when you do put your queen in the laundry, it's machine-wash cold and then tumble-dry low; there's not a tag, so it's hard to figure out sometimes.
- Another from the Cleopatra video: When Blue is elucidating about how Cleopatra used her royal authority to actually respond to her people's needs, instead of being a party animal like her ancestors, several letters and her responses flash by. All of them are pretty hilarious!Letter 1: My Queen, Crocodiles have crowded into the courthouse, causing complete chaos! Send help!Cleopatra: Let's see here, a letter from Castor of Memphis. I'll dispatch Stephanos Irwinius immediately.Letter 2: Will Siwa ever know peace? -BayekCleopatra: And a letter from... oh great, Bayek of Siwa. Dear Horus not this nonsense again.Cleopatra's reply: Hi Bayek, no it won't. Stop asking and go back to assassinating my enemies for me. XOXO, Isis.Letter 3: My Queen, would your grace please release the Pharaoh from the Millennium Puzzle? For real this time?Cleopatra: And one more from a priest of Yami Yugi. That's the fourth letter this year. Alright...Cleopatra's reply: Tell your Pharaoh that he can have his freedom when he defeats me in Duel Monsters, and not a moment sooner. Git Gud scrub.
- On account of the Cleopatra-wrapped-in-a-rug story:
- "Pope Fights 2 The Reformation":
- Blue takes some potshots at the House of Habsburg's penchant for Royal Inbreeding. One bit of text refers to Holy Roman Emperor Charles V as "a Habsburg with a jawline only a sister could love", and later quips "I would tell the Habsburgs to go screw themselves, but they beat me to the punch".
- The Running Gag of Red poking her head in to tell Blue to add more memes to the video.
- In "The Fall of Rome," Blue sums up the sack of Rome:Blue: The Eastern Empire had politely asked the Visigoths to go bother the West for land instead. In 410 those Visigoths made their quest to Rome instead by rolling up to the city and promptly sacking it. This is what we historians call an "Oh, shit" moment.
- From the opening seconds alone, you get this gem:Blue: No matter when you go, Rome is a great city to visit, because you can see all four seasons: (picture shifts through Rome in different seasons) Winter, spring, summer, fall("Destruction" of "The Course of Empires" painting on-screen)-OHHHH NOOOOO-(We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties screen reading "Welcome To My Hell)
- "Casting" Phil Swift and Flex Tape as Diocletian and his reforms. Later, representing the splitting of the Empire with the boat sawn in two.
- From the opening seconds alone, you get this gem:
- In "Scotland", Blue proves himself to be very wary of one particular theater superstition:
- Blue's horror at witnessing the number of times England and Scotland have gone to war.Blue: So I took a little peruse to see how many times the two actually fought each other and- Sweet MOTHER MARY! THAT IS A LOT OF STABBING! Scotland...who hurt you? Trick question: England!
- For the Vikings video, Blue summarizing why the histories depicting the Vikings were so brutal.Blue: Those records were written by people with an axe to grind with the Vikings, i.e. the English and North European Christians who were on the receiving end of a hefty handful of raids. If someone showed up unannounced, yoiked everything you owned, and killed a non-negligible amount of people on the way, you'd be pretty justified leaving a one-star review about your guests.
- In "French Empire", Blue notes the stark visual contrast between King George III and Napoleon Bonaparte.Blue: King George of England has a powdered wig and all this royal fance, but pretty boy Bonaparte was the most powerful dude in Europe, and he looks like the missing Jonas Brother! Why is the Emperor of France a shōnen protagonist?!
- In Pope Fights 3 -The Italian Wars, there are several hilarious visual gags courtesy of Indigo, including the return of the glorious goose censor.
- Blue's description of Charles V becoming both the King of Spain and the Holy Roman Emperor.Blue: And Emperor Charles found himself the most powerful man in Europe by a metric Habsburg jawline.
- Blue's description of Charles V becoming both the King of Spain and the Holy Roman Emperor.
- The Italian 'translation' of a treaty signed with the Ethiopians, recognizing their rights. "Tutte le tua base sono appartiene a noi." note
- In the Thucydides video, as a nod to the fact that his History of the Peloponnesian War ended mid sentence, he decides to end the video in-
- In the Vikings video, there's a random "Meow!" during the explanation so we segue to Blue showing footage of his kitty Cleo and him cooing over her.Blue: Oh Cleo, what are you meowing about?Cleo: Meow!Blue: I know, slavery's bad! C'mere, aaah good cat! Good cat. Who's a little floofy boot? It's you. It's you! Mwah!
Red: Don't you dare bring me into this.
- Ludohistory aka "Yellow" comes in the last two minutes for some exposition. Blue notes that since Yellow has 2 degrees in Viking history, then that means that the technically have one degree each. Yellow notes that it's not how math works so Blue replies that he has a degree in classics and it's Red with the Math degree.
- Upon learning he's short on time, there is now a Wall of Text about everything he wanted to cover.
- In the video on Portugal, while Blue is explaining the economic context pushing Portugal to develop its maritime empire, he shifts over to his favorite topic: Venice.Portugal: Hey, back off! This is my video!Venice: Aw, that's cute. Every OSP History video is just a video about Venice in disguise.Ottoman Empire: Yup, it happens to all of us. Just roll with it, he'll get back on topic sooner or later.
- The video on Hawai'i sees Blue very uncomfortable when he's describing the sheer size of the Pacific Ocean early on (Blue being thalassaphobic), culminating in a list of his fears popping up when he goes into his "Let's do some history" catchphrase. Said list consists of "Deep Water", "Modern History", and "People who don't stan Venice".
- The Confucius video features Manchild Emperor Gaozu and a long-suffering advisor (who sneaks an Audible commercial into his speech bubble).Gaozu: Courtier, I ask a question... Peeing in hats: yes or no?
- Renaissance Antics has some humerous moments:
- Blue considers Filippo Brunelleschi a diva of the highest sort. After losing an art contest, he stormed out of the city and vowed to never sculpt again.
- "The life, murder and more murder" of Benvenuto Cellini, whom Blue describes as "someone's psychotic Dungeons & Dragons character"Cellini: I roll to attack everyone.
- "It's a lovely day in the Renaissance, and you are a horrible artist"
- When returning to Rome, he was charged with embezzlement. Not with the large amount of murder he performed regularily.
- Blue ponders if Cellini gave up his carrier as a priest because he had to worship someone other than himself.
- At the start of the Failed Assassinations episode, Blue briefly talks about the benefits of assassinations. The illustration he uses is a painting of Archduke Ferdinand's assassination with the caption "zero negative consequences"
- Blue kicks off the list with Mithridates, a king by the Black Sea who ruled prosperously for over 50 years, expanded his kingdom's borders, carried massive cultural and political weight, and slapped Rome in the face but was most well known for regularly ingesting poisons to build up immunity. Blue even admits that there were probably far more assassination attempts than we know of because none of them worked.
- Mithridates died when Rome retaliated, and he tried to commit suicide by poison... which didn't work due to aforementioned immunity, and he had to get someone else to stab him to death.Blue: It's lucky he didn't supplement his poison regimen with doses of tiny knives.
- The very beginning of the Plague episode...which is airing months into the COVID-19 Pandemic. Blue's attempt to pretend that the video's topic is most certainly divorced from current events but...Blue: So today, we're gonna get 700 years away from all the worries of the modern world and instead talk about plague(he instantly cracks)hohohoh God! What am I doing!?(text on blank screen saying "This video was a mistake")
- In Greek Wise Guys, among other things, Blue imagines Gorgias the Sophist using his rhetorical abilities to skip out on his rent.
- The twelfth episode of their podcast, which is essentially 17 minutes of Blue improvising about how utterly absurd the Ptolemy dynasty of Egypt was (including multiple generations of inbreeding), and slowly losing his mind as he tries to comprehend it. The whole mess caps off with this:Blue: "This is the legacy of ancient Greece. Ancient Athens is like 'Yeah, we're gonna be so cool! We're gonna rule over all the Greeks!' and Macedon's like 'LOL, nope! Just kidding! It's gonna be us!' And then Alexander dies drunk at a party, and this sh*t happens! NO!" <beat> "Um, thank you very much for tuning into the, uh, twelfth episode of the Overly Sarcastic Podcast. I need a drink, and I will see you all later."
- The first episode of the new podcast incarnation, which includes a lengthy discussion of what historical figures would be on their Caper Crew, with the mission of saving the Library Of Alexandria. Highlights include Da Vinci as their Gadgeteer Genius, Alcibiades as a Honey Trap, and Julius Caesar being the Fall Guy. Also, they accidentally kidnap Tripitaka.
- In the second episode, they get into a discussion about Theseus and how much he sucks. Among other things, Red points out that apparently, when Heracles rescued Theseus from the underworld (long story, watch Red's Underworld Myths video), he had to sever Theseus' asscheeks to get him of the chair, which is explained as the reason the line of Theseus has extremely flat asses. Also, as Red notes, this means that the only company Pirithous has in the underworld are the Furies and his cousin's severed asscheeks.
Caesar: You fools, how can you stop me?Red: Caesar, we've just been stalling for time. The clock has struck midnight. You missed a day of your japanese lessons.Caesar: Nani? What does that mean? If I'd been keeping up with my japanese lessons, I'd know what that meant.
- Also in the second episode, they get to discussing oral histories, and how colonized peoples rarely have written sources, since no one expects to be colonized or repressed. Except the Jewish. By the second or third time it happens, you start to take precautions.
- Continuing the discussion from last time, the trio suggests funding the movie by extremely gratuitous product placement, including Leonardo da Vinci stopping in the middle of building his helicopter to take a sip of Monster Energy Drink, or Caesar being defeated by the Video Game/Duolingo Owl.
- In episode 4, Red reveals that if she ever gets a dog, she's naming it Bark Anthony to go with Blue's cat Cleocatra.
- The Greek Gods in a collection of Vines. No, seriously.
- Ares copes with being Hera's son:Dionysus: C'mon, shake what your mama gave ya!Ares: My mother was the most selfish woman I ever met — SHE NEVER GAVE ME ANYTHING!Dionysus: Alright! Jesus.
- An excellent summary of the relationship between Demeter, Persephone, and Hades:Demeter: (slams hand down on table) NOT ON MY WATCH!
Cut to an unamused Persephone, casually eating a pomegranate, and a confused Hades, both standing behind her
Demeter: (slams hand down on table again) NOT ON MY WATCH!
- Ares copes with being Hera's son:
- Now with the Norse Gods.Loki: Wanna hear a chemistry joke? ...is that a no?Odin: Oh, sorry, did you want a — reaction?Loki: (curls up to cry, broken-hearted)Surtur: So, we still gonna destroy Earth?Jormungandr: Nah, they're doing a pretty good job without us.Fenrir: I feel lazy, like we don't even have to do anything!Freyr: People ask me how I get the wet look in my hair. Tell them I use "Essence of England" gel. They say, "What's that?" (amidst a raging thunderstorm) I USE THE FUCKING RAIN!
- And the Egyptian Gods joined the fun too.Ra: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself! And weasels. Those little bastards'll get ya—Osiris: (playing the guitar and singing) Hey~. How ya doin'? Well, I'm doin' just fine. I lied. I'm dying inside.
- The title for Medjed's skit is just "Medjed is a Real God and I Love Them So Much"
- And back to the Greeks:Artemis: Who's in our bathroom?Athena: I hired a drunk girl to compliment us.Artemis: Ohhh. (peers into the bathroom to see Dionysus leaning across the toilet lid)Dionysus: (extremely drunk) Are you a model?~Artemis: Yes.Apollo: Why do we even need Coming-Out Day? Everyone's a little gay!
Achilles: (wearing an "If Found, Return To Patroclus" shirt) Well, I'm a big gay, and I'm coming out today as the World's Biggest Gay.noteDemeter: You get one on your knee from "tripping", and now this?
Persephone: (pointing to a bandage on her arm) Mom, for the last time, this is not a hickey!Hades: In the winter I like to dress in a cozy black jacket, shirt, and jeans. In the summer I wear— the same thing, because I look good in black and I'm willing to suffer!
- And now a crossover with Journey to the West.
- Tripitaka: Do you have any shaving cream?
Sun Wukong: Nah, I don't like the way that it tastes.
Tripitaka: Wait, you eat shaving cream?
Wukong: No, why would I eat it when I don't like the taste?
- These two from ProZDBuddha: I sentence him to ten years in prison.
Sun Wukong: (in a seductive tone) Well, your honor. Maybe I can... change your mind...
Buddha: Twenty years!Sha Wujing/Sandy: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Great knock-knock joke, Tim!
Zhu Wuneng/Pigsy: ...thank you...
- Also this:Sha Wujing/Sandy: The building's on fire!Sun Wukong: (in bed, sleepy) Like, how big is the fucking fire?Sha Wujing/Sandy: Big.Sun Wukong: (getting up, grumpy) Okay...
- Another one, mixing some mythologies and literature together:
- Hamlet Act 1 Scene V is Shia LeBouf's "JUST DO IT!" shouting intermixed with Michael Scott screaming "NO!"
- "Loki still isn't sure if that was hyperbole"Thor: OH, THAT MAKES ME SO MAD I'M GONNA... FLY TO ANTARCTICA AND SHOOT A PENGUIN!Loki: (stares in horrified confusion)
- "Apollo, the god of music"Apollo: Hey, betcha I can hit this note!Artemis: Nonono, please don't!Apollo: (unholy shrieks of terror)
- "Sekhmet: the cat that mauls your belongings. Bast: The cat that you never actually see move."Horus: Hey, bro, what do you want to eat?Sekhmet: The souls of the innocent!Bast: A bagel.Sekhmet: No!Bast: Two bagels.
- "In Dionysus's defense, leopard skin is dry-clean only"Dionysus: Dude, just wear your pajama pants with me outside; that way we're matching!Hermes: How about you just do your fucking laundry?Dionysus: Nooooooo!
- "Proud father of an Odinson"Odin: Son?Thor: Yes, papa?Odin: How old are you, boy?Thor: I am three, papa.Odin: Take this knife. Go hunt bear.Thor: (looks at the knife, smiles) ...just one?Odin: (chuckles)
- "Romeo and Juliet, Act III, scene one"Tybalt: How does it feel to be worst cop ever, huh?Mercutio: Shut up, your mother buys you Mega Blocks instead of Legos.Tybalt: You fucking take that back, you—
- "The best thing about Antony and Cleopatra is Antony quite literally fails at EVERYTHING"Antony: Every time I go out there, I do my best, and they don't!Cleopatranote , completely unimpressed: Lemme ask you a very fair question: What do you do successfully?(Antony looks stumped, with a Thousand-Yard Stare)Cleopatra: Quickly.(dramatic zoom on Antony's stumped face)
- And a sequel, prompted by going from 1 million subscribers to... 1.05 million, complete with confetti and noise-makers:
- "Hamlet (act I scene II)"Gertrude: Your father and I want to talk. Have you been doing drugs or having sex?Hamlet: No?Gertrude: (crying, to Claudius) I told you we were raising a pussy!
- "Zeus c'mon, you're embarrassing the pantheon"Horus: Earthling, take me to your leader!Mortal: (sighs) This is him. (points to Zeus in swan form, harassing Leda)Horus: Oh my God, I'm so sorry...Mortal: I'M SORRY FOR US!
- Loki and his daughter, Hela.Loki: Hey there, little guy! I'm your dad!Hela: I gotta be ugly.Loki: What.Hela: Get me a mirror. (Loki pulls out a mirror, showing Hela with one half of her face being a rotten corpse) Now take it away. God damn.
- "It's A Lovely Day In Ancient Greece and You're A Horrible Zeus":Zeus: You have the right to remain sexy! Anything you say can and will make me bust a nut!
- The title of this one is especially funny when you recall that at least one myth featured Zeus turning into a goose or a swan to have sex with a woman.
- "Hamlet (act I scene II)"
- From part three:
- "It took a while for Anubis's mummification process to catch on"Isis: We, uh, don't know what killed him.Anubis: (holding a jar and knife) May I make a suggestion?Isis: We're not gonna cut him open, Phil!Anubis: You guys are boring!
- "Frankenstein, chapter 24"Walton: (somberly looking at Victor's body) He's dead!(The monster appears from the shadows, staring in silence)Monster: (mockingly) Not the dickhead! — What do you want me to say?
- "That's it, that's the Odyssey"Odysseus: (clinging to a plank of wood in the ocean) Please God, just let me have one good day!Poseidon: Oh my God, you again? Give it a rest, buddy!
- "Paradise may be lost, but that blue check is worth the fall"Gabriel: [to Lucifer] Sure, you may be verified on twitter, but are you verified... (sprouts eyes all over his wings and halo) ...in the eyes of God?
- "It took a while for Anubis's mummification process to catch on"
- Red's take on Boston:
- Regarding Boston drivers:Red: I nearly got hit by a car outside of a Dunkin' Donuts, and that is not allowed to be how I die.Red: Everyone knows New York traffic is a nightmare, but New Yorkers know to fear Boston drivers. If New York is Mad Max then Boston is The Purge. No one is safe, traffic laws are meaningless, and the only goal is to survive as long as you can. When I told a Boston friend I'd heard the drivers are nuts, she told me in total seriousness that using your blinker is a sign of weakness. I laughed. She didn't.
- Regarding Boston drivers:
- Blue's take on Copenhagen:
- It starts out great with him discussing transit options.Blue: 10/10 Guys, please cut it out, you're making the rest of the world look bad.
- Even going so far as to imply modern Danish architecture is achieved through magic.Blue: Why does this power plant have a ski slope on top of it?! I usually hate modern art but Copenhagen consistently nails it, so I just kinda hope their design-sorcerers is being fairly compensated. I don't say this lightly, but I am fairly sure Copenhagen has all the bases covered. Guys! Cut it out! 0/10, this isn't fair anymore!
- Boston has drivers that make you fear for your life. Copenhagen is far more insidious apparentlyFood in Copenhagen is amazing if you know where to look for it, and a literal death trap if you don't. For instance, the first time I visited I ate at a tourist trap in Nyhavn that was overpriced and terrible. The second time I went to Copenhagen I went to Nyhavn again and got food poisoning. Lesson learned: Do not eat at Nyhavn. [...] 6/10, Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Nyhavn.
- Nyhavn is rather infamous as a tourist trap for those familiar with Denmark.
- On the danish people as a whole quickly devolves into riffing on the danish language.The biggest downside to Denmark is that the danish language is an absolute nightmare, I've heard that the best way to learn danish is to learn swedish and then get drunk, and I believe it, but don't say that to a dane because they will knife you for comparing them to Sweden. [...] 7/10, What did you monsters to do those poor consonants?! [...] Stay clear [of Copenhagen] if you're allergic to new languages, or are swedish.
- It starts out great with him discussing transit options.
- Blue's take on London
- The city layout gets an 8/10 for having a beautiful layout but also making Blue feel that it was built by the systematic exploitation of colonialism.
- He later describes London architecture as crazy because it was built with EMPIRE MONEY!!!
- Londoners are apparently hiding something dark and sinister..Blue: Londoners are great when they open up and all laugh at the abyss together, but their coziness with primordial fear makes me worry there's a L̵ovećr͟af͢ti͡an Eld͡er̡ G͞od ͠ch̕i̷ll͢in̶g ̡so͏mew͏h̡er̸e ųnderńe҉a͝th͡ the҉ t͘ube̡ li͏nés, s҉o Į'm ̕gla̛d̴ I̴ ̨v̨ìsit̴ed b͞ef̶or͏e ͠Bre͘xit rele̢as͜e͝s Ia̢͡͏ldo͏go̵r̷͠th͡ th҉̴e͏̢͡ ̀D̷̵̛e̵̷vǫ̛ųr̀er ̢up̸̀on͡ ̛̕t͞h̴͝e̷ ̕U̧̕K
- The city layout gets an 8/10 for having a beautiful layout but also making Blue feel that it was built by the systematic exploitation of colonialism.
- Red and Blue's playthrough of Shadow of the Colossus is a goldmine, but one of the funniest quips comes from the battle against Dirge, where Dirge's persistent aggressive AI and the difficult motion controls for riding on Agro the horse have Red feeling... rather understandably tense.Blue (chuckling) Someone called it a danger noodle!Red (flipping out because Dirge is chasing her) IT'S A DANGER NOODLE! IT'S THE MOST DANGEROUS NOODLE!
Blue [doing his best Palpatine voice]: Yes, Red. Give into your anger.Red: I'M SO ANGRY!!!
- "Now you suffer as I have suffered!"
- Another live-stream; for the purpose of raising money for the COVID-19 Response Fund for Feeding America, where they played Breath of the Wild with the intent of doing a dragon-run. It takes the entire streamnote for them to find one dragon.
- The top donation spot is taken early, resulting in uncontrollable snickering whenever they look at the top of the screen and see their highest donator, "Link's Left Nut".Red: You're slacking, Right Nut!
- Cyan throws a blanket over Blue's head at one point when he's wallowing over the lack of dragons, causing him to give a surprised yelp.
- Now with a handy dandy highlight reel!
- The top donation spot is taken early, resulting in uncontrollable snickering whenever they look at the top of the screen and see their highest donator, "Link's Left Nut".
- The Hollow Knight stream isn't much better, and might as well be called "the OSP crew and JoCat cheerfully talk about tabletop roleplaying while Blue gets completely lost".
Jo: This thing sucks. Why? Because of Gwyn.
- While describing her current gaming group, Red tries to explain Exalted.Red: My theory is, they all got super high, and then they watched 72 hours straight of all the anime made in the nineties, and then they were like "I HAVE A FUCKING GREAT IDEA"
- As the chat members begin to argue about whether or not they should save Zote or not, the team decides to have them duke it out through donations. And then Jo personally drops a thousand dollars on the "Leave Zote" side mid-stream...
- They get to talking about the storytelling of Dark Souls and how it paralells Greek Mythology. Namely that Gwyn shares a lot of traits with Zeus, and that 90% of everything bad that happens in either is because of them. Blue and Red both concede that that sounds about right.
- While describing her current gaming group, Red tries to explain Exalted.
- A reading live-stream has Red read out My Immortal. You can tell where this is going.
- A second ''Breath of the Wild'' dragon-based stream does go somewhat better... but it still takes them long enough that Blue tames a wild horse and names it "Dragon" just to say he's found at least one.
- A discussion on Zelda lore takes a turn for the weird when it's brought up that if Zelda, Link and Ganon are officially locked in a cycle of reincarnation, no one knows what's up with other, much less important recurring characters like Tingle or Beedle. Cue debates about whether or not they're reincarnating too, if there's another Triforce just for NPCs, if they're aware of it... if they're the ones leaving tantalizingly breakable pots everywhere to check if a new incarnation of the Hero has appeared...
- The third Uncharted 4 livestream has Blue and Cyan detailing a bizarre encounter with an eccentric waiter at an Italian restaurant in Florida. His flamboyant offer of "WIIIIIIINE?" sent Red into a laughing fit, comparing him to James from Pokémon. He then proceeded to give Blue and Cyan his business card, because as it turns out, he does wedding photography.
- Blue and Cyan's recount of their first meeting is both adorable and hilarious. Cyan had just joined the fencing team, and Blue offered to spar with her. She then proceeded to accidentally shatter his fencing blade into several oddly consecutive pieces, leaving Blue completely flabbergasted.
- The Tour of Rome in Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood stream has a hilarious moment when Blue is talking about who his favorite Roman emperor is.
- The Ghosts of Tsushima playthrough has some very hilarious exchanges of dialogue between Red, Blue, and Cyan.Red: I'm a sleeve hater with very high standards, alright? If I'm gonna be displaying these deadly weapons I wanna do it in a nice case, you know?
Red: (crippling realization) Oh God, that's on the internet forever!
Red and Cyan: [with :3 faces] Rawr.Blue: No, no— get that shit outta here! (throws the furry sword into the distance)
- "Tell the Khan we're coming for him. 'Dear Khotun Khan, ''Eat shit!'' Signed, the Samurai.'"
- The hilarious juxtaposition of Blue burning a man to death, followed up immediately by Cyan asking if he wants a cookie.
- Blue goes on a rant about a conspiracy known as "Big Ninja," which is hiding in the "literal and metaphorical shadows."
- Blue finds a very furry sword, and its description leaves him extremely uncomfortable.
- The Running Gag that parties (especially Norse parties) are depicted by an Establishing Shot of a structure with flashing neon colors coming out of the windows and a techno-bass thundering through the walls.
- The College Hell video is probably one of the duo's funniest episodes.
- The Bad "Bad Acting" of the introduction.
- Blue getting chased by a random ninja.
- This bit:Red: And we all know the people who belong in this next bol-hey.Blue: THAT'S SPANISH!Red: I believe you mean es español!(string guitar riff)
- Red constantly pronounces "bolgia" wrong, which annoys the crap out of Blue. He finally gets fed up and tells her she's not allowed to say it anymore. Cue her finally saying it correctly. Blue's reaction is appropriately hilarious.YouTube Commenter: I guess you could say he went... Super Saiyan Blue.
- "They screwed their friends, so now their friends screw them!"
- This line from Blue:Blue: No, I didn't become an atheist because I once pissed myself in church! Please stop saying that! It's not true!(Beat)Red: Just gonna let that one slide...
- And at the end:Blue: Okay Red, say it with me 'cause this is going to bother me to no end. Bolgia.Red: Bolgee.Blue: Bolgia.Red: Bolja.Blue: You are pure evil!Red: I'M NECESSARY EVIL!
- Their April Fool's Day 2018 video has Red and Blue apologizing for accidentally causing the apocalypse (Red) and various ancient historical events (Blue). Eventually Blue apologizes for stealing the Library of Alexandria and then setting fire to the foundations to cover his tracks. Red immediately leaves to track Blue down in revenge. Blue briefly panics before remembering she lives nowhere near him. Half a second later...Blue: Bye! *briefly waves at camera as he flees*
- Red singing her version of a Major General Song called "The Philosopher's Song with Blue questioning what she's doing.Blue: What the hell are you doing?
Red: Obviously, I'm singing about philosophers.
Blue: Yeah, but why?
(after the next verse)
Blue: Shouldn't you be working on Journey of the West, Part 3?
Red: Technically I should be doing my homework.
(before the second verse ends)
Blue: Couldn't you have chosen a song you can, you know, sing?
Red: Shut up!
- From the Blue goes to Greece video we get this comment from Blue on Socrates:Blue: Socrates wouldve been walking around here about Two-Thousand Five Hundred Years ago. Bare-foot cause he was a dumbass.
- From Blue's Copenhagen vlog, we get this little moment:Blue: (singing) Hello darkness, my old friend. I didn't see you in Iceland. (speaking) 'Cause it's frickin' sunlight all the damn time in Iceland! Jeesh...Cyan: (in the background, singing) But now we're here in Copenhagen!(both laugh)
- Blue discovers some trampolines embedded near the sidewalk.Blue: (bouncing on the trampoline) Okay, so uh, new devolpment. This is the best goddamn city on Earth!
- Blue discovers some trampolines embedded near the sidewalk.
- 2019's April Fools' Day special, OSP's Recipes: Carthaginian Delight. It seems like a typical Mediterranean seafood dish at first, but then things start getting... brutal.
- Red goes nuts and decides to sum up the Mahabharata (one of the most legendary epics of Indian culture and an outrageous Door Stopper) in a single minute. Ensues a ridiculous case of Motor Mouth even by her already fast-paced standards. Special mention to her shortening the Bhagavad Gita as "Arjuna doesn't want to fight his beloved family and teachers and stuff so Krishna calls him a whiny little baby for 700 stanzas".Krishna holding up a paper which reads: It's fine. Just do it. Source: I'm the universe.
- The 1 million subs video
- Starting off strong:Blue: We're worth 1/23rd of Markiplier?
- Since they're in the Big Leagues, they decide to dress the part. Blue goes for the "Evil Businessman" look, while Red looks like she's ready to suck your blood.
- Starting off strong:
- Blue interrupts the fancy montage by statingBlue: Wow, it's cold as fuck.
- Blue interrupts the fancy montage by stating
- 2020's April Fools' Day special is a Journey to the West ...... minecraft recreation
- Starting off strong Red and Blue already get lost despite Red making a map with markers.
- Blue playing as Tripitaka somehow manages to capture the spirit of the character by getting stuck by a tree. He even complains, "How am I already as useless as the real Tripitaka".
- Red and Blue both die 10 minutes into the video by jumping off the mountain and failing to land in water. Blue reminds everyone they're still within walking distance of their spawn area.
- When Blue recounts telling some family friends about his job, trying to describe as best he could when one of his younger cousins realized Blue had a youtube channel then advised him to play Minecraft. Blue with an audible sigh admits "he felt his heart sank" when he heard that. He brings it up later that he and Red are saps for focusing their channel on education videos when they could be playing Minecraft.
- Blue gets his hands on a crossbow and immediately gets drunk on what little power he has. Red later denies him Creative Mode access for this reason.Blue: Tripitaka pulls out a fucking gun!
Red: Tripitaka's sick of getting kidnapped, pulls out a glock...
- Blue decides to end the video the only way he knows how to: jumping of a cliff and dying. He actually survives the fall, and is immediately after blown up by a creeper.
- The main page of their website has a list of Red's favorites of her artwork, along with an artist's comment.
- On a picture of Morrigan posing intimidatingly:My favorite artistic subgenre: "Scary women gesturing imperiously"
- On a picture of the Simmurgh:"I'll give her a bunch of wings and a swirling mass of flowing hair! THAT won't get confusing to color later!" -Red, a fool, a damned fool
- On a picture of Bacchae DionysusI made a brush specifically to draw vines. I've been flagrantly abusing the power it gave me ever since.
- On Desna:RPGs always have way more visually interesting deities than real mythologies.
- On a picture of Morrigan posing intimidatingly: