This bit after the above where RJ & Verne's umbrella burns to crisp and both are about to plummet several meters from the sky.
Verne:[Death Glare at RJ] You're the devil. RJ:[looks down, screams in terror]
"Get real Kevin! Cuz when you feel like a dirtbag, it's because you're a dirtbag, right? So-so just own it! Just say it out loud: 'I am a dirtbag.'"
RJ mouthing the lines...
"Dirtbag? I don't think that guy's a real doctor."
During the climactic van scene:
Bucky: Hey, no fighting while we're driving! Quilo: We will turn this van around, mister! (Beat) Lou:(Points at Verne) He started it.
When asked if they know how to drive the van:
Bucky: Just like Auto-Homicide 3. (a little later) Bucky:(pointing at pedestrians) Bonus points!!!
The cookie RJ throws away that Hammy tries to get.
RJ: I wanna show you this! You like this cookie? Hammy: Oh... yeah!! RJ: Well, this cookie's... JUNK! (tosses it away) Hammy: But I like the cookie!...
Later, during the break-in, Hammy finds the cookie on Gladys' roof!
RJ: HAMMY! I told you that cookie's junk! Hammy: But I like the cookie!
RJ has to keep distracting Hammy with the laser pointer away from the cookie, to the point where he has to shine it directly on the "off" button to the security system.
Then as Hammy goes faster than the speed of light, he finally retrieves the cookie and eats it with a smug grin.
Hammy:♪I got the cookie! I got the cookie!♪
The Depelter Turbo.
And right before that, the animals have Hammy drink a lot of caffeine. When he goes out to activate the Depelter Turbo, everything is frozen (sans the lasers, which are actually shown moving) because of how fast Hammy is actually going thanks to the caffeine.
After RJ's weedhacker story, Hammy's sympathetic reaction, including the aghast and amazed looks he shoots Verne.
Hammy: The weed hacker, Verne! The Weed Hacker!
Steve Carell really nails Hammy's lines.
Hammy: Scary clown!
Hammy's first encounter with a tile floor:
Hammy: No grip! No grip! No grip! Help - ah! RJ: Hammy! Less claw, more pad! Hammy: Oh, ok! (Hammy instantly faceplants into the baseboard on the opposite side of the room.) Hammy: (bluntly) That hurt!
RJ's "Food" monologue is the stuff of legend.
"The human mouth—is called a 'pie hole'. The human being—is called a 'couch potato'."
RJ:(points to a grill) That keeps the food hot! (an ice cooler) That keeps the food cold! (a turtle piñata) That... er... I'm not sure what that is. (A boy smashes the turtle piñata with a bat, sending candy everywhere) Verne: AAAH! RJ: Well, what do you know? FOOD!
R.J.'s advises that if humans catch them, they lick their own genitals because humans are mesmerized by it. When Gladys attacks, all of them begin to do it (except Verne, who hides in his shell), and R.J., panicked, yells that it isn't going to work this time.
RJ: What're you doing?! Lou: Well, you said we should lick our— RJ: NO! NIX THAT! RUN!
After the gang is chased out of Gladys' yard and back to the hedge.
Verne: SEE?! That's what I was talking about! These humans don't want us around! RJ: So we scared her and she overreacted! No biggie! Verne: "No biggie"?! Oh, that is exactly what we call a biggie. RJ: C'mon, think about the food! It was worth it for that food! That stuff is to die for! (Ozzie faints; Heather rolls her eyes) Let me rephrase that. Verne: No. "To die for." You nailed that part. Look, maybe our little forest life seems primative to a guy with a bag. RJ:What? Verne: But gee, I think I speak for the whole family when I say we want NOTHING to do with ANYTHING that's over that hedge! (He and the others begin to walk away) RJ: Oh, come on. You haven't even tried doughnuts yet. You wanna store some fat, that is the way to store some fat. You'll be sweatin' through the winter! (they don't listen) Okay, okay, you guys sleep on it. Good idea, I'm gonna check back with you. [to himself] Shoot! Almost had 'em.
William Shatner's brilliant rant on the OTH version of Rockin' the Suburbs.
Hi, sorry to bother you, the name's Bill. I live just across the street - yeah that's right over there. No, no not that house, the one next to it with the extra flower bed. Oh, and here's all your papers from the last few days, they were just piling up on the driveway where the whole neighborhood could see them. Not that that's a problem of course but that and the grass being a little overgrown might give someone the impression that you were out of town and you wouldn't want that. I've got to be going shortly to a little class I've been attending I just... no, no, no, no not pottery or anything like that it's uh... an ANGER MANAGEMENT class. Actually, and speaking of that very class they've been emphasizing finding some common ground With people before you confront them to avoid becoming violent, you know? Well, actually we do have a few things in common - here could you take these papers? They're getting my suit wet! - and as I was saying we do live on the same cul-de-sac, that's common ground and I believe we actually have the same house plan, except the reverse, your garage is on the left and mine's on the... NO, it wasn't me that dialed 911 at 6:31pm Wednesday about your son's noisy rock band! Anyway it's about your dog, and of course about our garbage and the neighbor's garbage can... (increasingly angry) No, I'm sorry it is your dog who's been strewing garbage around the block and I have digital evidence complete with red eye reduction which I will e-mail to you to prove that it is in fact your dog! Now, I should warn you that I have a black belt in in karate too, and I certainly don't mind using it if necessary! No, not on you, ma'am, ON YOUR STINKING DOOOOOOOOG!!!
Everything with Stella. What can you expect from Wanda Sykes?
Stella: "Why does everyone think I need a man, huh? I look like a nest and smell like a swamp. So when you find a fella who's decent, good with kids, and has no sense of smell, call me!"
Dwayne accidentally shooting the head off a plastic flamingo.
Dwayne: Aww! Not again! Dang it! Those things are so lifelike! Curse you, plastic moldsman.
Stella ranting to Tiger while the other animals view from the bushes.
Tiger: Away with your filth! Stella:My filth? MY FILTH?! Penny:Oh, jeepers! Here we go... Stella: Okay, that's it! I am sick and tired of everybody takin' one look at me and runnin' away 'cause they think I'm filthy! Well, I got news for you! I didn't get all primped and preened to have some overfed, pompous puffball tell me he's too good for me! I got makeup on my butt, dude!! And you don't even wanna know about the cork!! Tiger: STOP! No one has EVER spoken to me like that!! (the animals gasp) It is bold... I like it!
While R.J. tries to get Hammy to obtain the Girlscout cookies, he makes him look as rabid as possible, by making his fur stick out and putting whipped cream around his mouth. Then he tells him to "show that wild look on [his] face", and while waiting for his performance...
Hammy: ...Oh, oh! I can burp my ABCs! (Belching) A, B, C- R.J.:HAMMY!
Near the end of the scene where Ozzie was playing possum:
Gladys: "I just hope he isn't in any pain..." (Ozzie gets up and runs away) Gladys:"KILL IT! KILL IT!" Ozzie: Thank you all for coming! You've been a wonderful audience!
It's hard to say which is funnier — the way Bucky starts shooting quills due to the volume, or the fact that the channel just so happened to switch to a THX-enhanced movie when he landed on the remote.
And then there's Stella's attempts to distract Tiger when he overhears it.
Four words: "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Cue Stella unleashing a stink bomb that takes over the whole house. Also doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
The entire scene where Gladys Sharp was trying to resist arrest by fighting off the cops. In the last scene between them, you can see the cops struggling to do so as she kicks one of them, and the other is visibly dazed.
Nugent: Play? Dwayne:Oh, no! No, no! No, no! (Nugent bites Dwayne, and Dwayne screams)
Verne desperately attempting to convince the rest of the Hedgies that they can be perfectly happy eating bark instead of scavenged human food. Even he is struggling to buy it... especially as he's struggling to chew a single mouthful of bark.
The plan to get Tiger's collar involves the animals making Stella over to look like a black cat. She says this when she starts making her way towards Tiger.
Stella: Man, this better be one stupid cat.
The animals use a See 'n Say toy with animal noises to attract Tiger's attention, but the sound that comes out is a cow mooing. They try to set it up for a cat noise, but Tiger comes out of the pet door before they can do so.
Stella after she finds out that RJ had been using her and her friends to steal food so he can repay Vincent.
Stella: I'm gonna gas you so hard your grandchildren will stink!
The Stinger where the animals have gathered in front of the vending machine to raid it. Unfortunately, they've piled up so much food that it blocks the slot.
Hammy: Kinda anti-climactic. RJ: Shoot!
The Video Game
Hammy, of course, is a gold mine of hilarious lines.
Hammy: I haven't seen this much pink since this one time, I got stuck inside my tongue.
For one heist mission, RJ insists that they must avoid the streets at all cost. Naturally, part of the plan involves crossing the street, which Verne immediately points out. RJ already has a counterargument, though.
The "crossing the street" part of the heist takes the form of the hedgies commandeering an RC plane and flying over. Verne questions whether it's too loud, and RJ assures him that it's the landing that has to be covert. Cue the plane crashing loudly through the back door of the target house.
Verne: Nice landing.
After spending the entire cave arc assuring the others that Vincent is thousands of miles away, RJ instantly finds Vincent the moment he enters the cave.
Mind-controlled Vincent isn't that different from regular Vincent.
Vincent: Must...eat...annoying...raccoon! RJ: Let's compromise. Eat this rock. (throws the rock at him and flees)
After the animals break Vincent's cap, he goes back to normal.
RJ: You were brainwashed into wanting to attack us, thanks to this! (presents mind-control cap) Vincent:(deadpan) Actually, I still want to attack you. RJ: ...But not as much, right?
Verne gets Vincent on their side by pointing out their common enemy. Vincent thinks he means RJ, so Verne clarifies with "the OTHER common enemy".
Later on, after Vincent has joined the animals in the woods, Lou worries that he's being a bad influence on the porcupine kids. We then see Vincent and the kids watching gameplay of Shrek SuperSlam showing Shrek smashing Donkey with a pie.
RJ: Aww, he's just like a giant teddy bear. With anger issues. And half-eaten bats on his breath.
In the last house heist, Rufus' attempt to help just has him fly into a polished window.
Rufus: (sliding down the window) To teach... is... to learn...
Dwayne:This isn't over yet! I've had my cheeks singed by bigger animals than you'll ever be!
RJ and Verne tell conflicting stories on how the VermTech heist went.
RJ: Naturally, Verne was against the whole idea... Verne: As usual, RJ's plan consisted of "Let's just go wherever the danger is, and hope for the best!"
In the last scene, Verne and RJ share a moment where Verne tries not to admit that despite all his Commander Contrarian moments, he likes going on heists with RJ and the rest.
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