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The show
Tome of the Unknown:
- Wirt asking John Crops—a man made entirely from vegetables—if he has internal organs. Even he doesn't know!
- The potato man drinking from a watering can whilst looking around suspiciously.
- Beatrice flying up alongside Wirt while he's driving the car and teasingly telling him not to crash it.
- While Wirt and Beatrice fixing the vegetable car, Wirt surveys one of the wheels, wondering if it's a real cucumber. Beatrice dares Wirt to taste it. Cue the silly look on his face as he moves to lick the cucumber wheel.
- When the giant birds start attacking the city, Wirt is approached by a vicious turkey.Beatrice: Punch it in the face!
Wirt: Oh heck, no! (drives off)
Chapter 1: The Old Grist Mill
- After the song and the ominous narration about "The Unknown" that opens the series, we're introduced to our heroes with... Greg listing off names he's rejected for his pet frog.Greg: ...Antelope, Guggenheim, Albert, Salami, Giggly, Jumpy, Tom, Thomas, Tambourine, Leg Face McCullen, Artichoke, Penguin, Pete, Steve... But I think the very worst name for this frog is—
- Beatrice's introduction.Beatrice: Maybe I can help, I mean, you guys are lost, right?
Wirt: (gasps, and slaps himself several times) What in the world is going on?!
Greg: Well, you're slapping yourself, and I'm answering your question, and--
Wirt: No, Greg, a-a bird's brain isn't big enough for cognizant speech.
Beatrice: Hey, what was that?
Wirt: I mean, I'm just saying, you're-you're weird. Like, not normal—(stutters) oh my gosh, stop talking to it, Wirt.
Beatrice: It?
Wirt: (stutters)
Woodsman: What are you doing here?! Explain yourselves!
Beatrice: Yeah, and I'll see you guys later. (flies off) - Also:Greg: Did you know that if you soak a raisin in grape juice, it turns into a grape? It's a rock fact!
Wirt: Uh, you're not helping at all. - Greg's encounter with the dog is somewhat diluted with his sputtering of this line just before it opens its mouth:Greg: You have beautiful eyes!
- Wirt's scream of terror as the Beast Dog approaches him is unexpectedly funny.
- Greg distracting the Beast Dog by spanking it.
- Greg and Wirt Saying Sound Effects Out Loud.
- Greg naming his frog:Greg: I'm gonna call him "Wirt".
Wirt: That's gonna be confusing.
Greg: No, because I'll call you "Kitty".
Wirt: Well, I'm going to call you "Candy Pants".
Greg: Whoa, yeah!
"Wirt": (croaks)
Greg: Good one, "Wirt"!
Wirt: Thanks.
Greg: I'm not talking to you, Wirt. I'm talking to "Wirt"!
Chapter 2: Hard Times at the Huskin' Bee
- "AUGH! How can you not eat waffles?! AUGH! I stepped in a pumpkin!"
- "Pumpkins can't move on their own... can they?"
- Wirt stalling for time. "You guys don't like rocks, do you?"
- At the end of the episode, Greg finally thinks of a wish from Beatrice:Greg: I wish Wirt Jr. had fingernails, so he could play the guitar better!
(cue chirping crickets)
Chapter 3: Schooltown Follies
- "Cheese and crackers!"
- Langtree singing about her romantic troubles to her students in an alphabet song.Beatrice: Hoo, that lady's got some baggage.
- Greg sees the schoolhouse for the first time and immediately runs away."School? *scoffs* Not today!"
- Greg's attempt at a song.Greg: *cheerfully singing* Come on and join the Adelaide Parade!
Wirt and Beatrice: No.- Greg's later, slightly more successful attempt at a song.
Greg (to Miss Langtree): Can you play a song like this?[Bangs fists on the keys of Langtree's piano. Somehow, she interprets this as the tune for "Potatoes and Molasses."] - After Beatrice calls him a pushover, Wirt decides to screw with her by going an entire day just blindly listening to what other people tell him to do.Beatrice: Okay, Wirt. I admit it. You seem like a pushover, but you're not.
Wirt: Oh?
Beatrice: Deep down in your heart, you're a stubborn jerk! When are you gonna give this up?
Wirt: Maybe never! Maybe I'll never give this up! - Langtree's Lament is a piece of comedic genius in itself, as the premise is that Miss Langtree is so upset about her heartbreak that she's turning an alphabet-and numbers teaching song into a way to vent about her issues. This means she's directing her personal problems into her curriculum while still making the song a useful lesson. This method is complicated and made funnier when she uses a homophone instead of an example for "C" and has to point out a proper example later in the song, and when the words "you" and "why" pop up, she has to clarify when she's using them for letters or as homophones so her students don't get confused and make mistakes.On the letter C: And C, see what he did...On the letter J: J is for the joker that is Jimmy B., the man who made me cry (that's a "C"!)On the letter U: You ("Y", not "U"!) have got to understand...On the letter W: Why ("W", not "Y"!) did you think it was fine...On the letter Y: Why (yes, "Y"!) is the question that's on my mind...
- Listening to it in full on the soundtrack reveals a whole other level of funny when she reveals that Jimmy only disappeared three days ago. Langtree wrote a song about how much of a cad he was, using every letter of the alphabet and most of the nine digits, after he'd been gone not even a week.
Chapter 4: Songs of the Dark Lantern
- Wirt's reaction to the Highwayman's song.
- "YEAH, LUVA! SING US YA LUV SON'!"
- "I'm the Highwayman."
- "Okay...good to know."
- The Toymaker's animation when he sings the lyric "Meanwhile, we must have cake."
- Wirt's entirely half-assed song in the tavern.Wirt: OHHHH. Myyy name is Wirt and his name is Greg. We're related because my mom remarried and then gave birth to him with my stepdad!
(Greg, who was happily jigging moments before, gives his brother a "Dude, really?" shrug)- The high note he hits at the end for apparently no reason."…So we can be on our…" (deep breath) "WAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"
- "That ain't no love song." "It's a metaphor!"
- The high note he hits at the end for apparently no reason.
- Observant viewers may notice a Freeze-Frame Bonus during the early conversation between Wirt and the Tavern Keeper of the Highway Man just creepily standing facing a wall for no apparent reason.
Chapter 5: Mad Love
- Wirt, Beatrice and Fred discuss stealing from Quincy Endicott.Wirt: Um, Beatrice? Why are you pretending I'm this guy's nephew?
Beatrice: We need money.
Wirt: You're scamming him?
Beatrice: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him.
Wirt: What? No way!
Beatrice: Why not? We already stole a horse.
Fred: Hey, guys.
Wirt: No, we didn't. Fred's a talking horse, he can do whatever he wants.
Fred: I wanna steal. - Wirt's gasp of surprise directly afterward deserves mention.Wirt: You guys are bonkers.
- Wirt and Beatrice getting trapped in an armoire.Wirt: Guess we have to spend some quality time together.
Beatrice: HELP! - Most of what Quincy Endicott says and does, quite honestly (helped by the fact that he's voiced by John Cleese), but his Establishing Character Moment stands out. His absolutely seamless mood swings are accompanied by him putting his feet in his dinner, flinging a small portion of it like confetti, and finally getting up on the table and dancing with Greg.
- Greg's reaction to a peacock bursting through a window is absolutely hilarious.Greg: What's the matter, uncie? It's just a... funny chicken.
- Endicott and Marguerrite giving Greg two pennies to start his fortune. His cartoonish, shocked expression seals it.
- Greg's comment (and particularly his hardened-criminal tone) after tossing said pennies in the fountain mere moments after all the work they did to win them.Greg: Uncie Endicott was wrong. I got no sense. No sense at all.
Chapter 6: Lullaby in Frogland
- Greg uses a drum to disguise himself in (as in he puts it over his head) and makes a flat "ow" every time the drummer bangs on it.Greg: DRUM ME IN THE FACE!
- "I said act natural." "It is natural! I'm a drum!"
- Wirt hides inside Greg's frog's costume. When he has to play with the band to keep up the façade, he does it through the coat, and no one seems to think it's weird that the frog appears to be playing bassoon with his belly button.
- While riding the riverboat full of frogs, a pair of police frogs blow their whistle on the group.Wirt: Uh oh. It looks like we're in trouble.
Greg: (Gasp) It's because the president is nude!
Beatrice: It's probably because you snuck on without paying.- Even better, the frog covers up after Greg points out he's nude.
- Wirt's reaction to the possibility of being apprehended by the frog police."Ahhhhhh I'm too young to go to frog jail!"
- The crowd, wowed by George Washington's singing, shushing the police frog who blows his whistle, despite the frog being naked. They just like his singing that much.
Chapter 7: The Ringing of the Bell
- Greg and Wirt meet Lorna.Lorna: Who are you?!Greg: We're burglars!Wirt: No no, no no no! We're not...we're not! We just-we just needed to get out of the rain and we thought this place was abandoned, so—Greg: So we came here to burgle your turts!
- Wirt's conversation with Lorna about Auntie Whispers. At this point he's just so done with the weirdness of the Unknown, he's not hiding his bewilderment at all.Wirt: Uh, are you alright? You've been coughing a lot.
Lorna: It's my illness. It's the reason Auntie Whispers is so hard on me.
Wirt: Gosh! That lady is so bad! You should go see a doctor.
Lorna: Auntie does not allow visitors here, she believes outsiders will lead me to become wicked.
Wirt: Y-Yeah, see? That's super weird. I don't mean to insult your family, but...
Lorna: Oh, she's not my real aunt.
Wirt: Ohhh my gosh. See?! - Greg accidentally stumbling upon Auntie Whispers while chasing his frog up the stairs.Greg: Paging Dr. Cucumber, you're needed in the operating rooooooooooom.
- Greg tries to get Wirt to explain the plan he mentioned earlier.Wirt: I don't know if we'll ever get back home.
Greg: Sure we will! What can stop us? You've got a plan, remember?
Wirt: I lied. - The way Wirt delivers the "Go away and don't come back" line to the spirit possessing Lorna. The way he says it you can tell it was a hasty afterthought.
- When Wirt and Greg are hiding in the turtle basket and Auntie Whispers mentions the smell of children.Wirt: What? Children? I'm, like, in high school.Greg: Yeah, well, you still stink.Wirt: Shh!Greg: You "shh"!
Chapter 8: Babes in the Woods
- As Greg gets greeted in Cloud City by welcoming committees and even animals. When Greg asks if there's more, it suddenly cuts to some creepy big dog being rained on by a cloud above it, just staring at the camera while thundering piano music plays. Greg's response is very nonchalant.Greg: (Beat) Well, that's enough.
- This beat is never referenced or explained ever again, by the way.
- Greg insulting the North Wind, cue silly slap-stick chase that would make the animators of the 20s/30s proud.
- The fact that the others are scared of the North Wind, but Greg just happily dances to the Villain Song.
Chapter 9: Into the Unknown
- The Running Gag of the cops being ridiculously lenient on any suspicious activity on the grounds that it's Halloween.(to two trick-or-treaters in burglar costumes) "Hey, you two robbers! You're under arrest! Naw, I'm just kidding, happy Halloween."
"Hey, stop running in the street! Just kidding, happy Halloween."
"What's going on here? Is this some kind of witches' gathering? You're all under arrest. (kids run away in terror) Hey hey, I was just kidding! Slow down kids, you're gonna trip or something!"- "Kids, really, get down from that wall. Oh, darn it, no, I mean come down this way!"
- "Please don't call me 'Old Lady.'" "Yes sir, young man."
- One of Sarah's friends introduces herself with "I'm an egg."
- Judging by the curt reaction of her friend, she's been doing this all night.
- The Reveal that Jason Funderberker, Wirt's supposed rival for Sara's affections that Wirt apparently has no hope of competing with, is a stuttering, nasal-voiced, awkward nerd that completely fails at any advance he makes towards her. Literally the only thing Jason has that Wirt doesn't is the confidence to make the first move.
- "There is poetry and clarinet on that tape- POETRY AND CLARINET!"
- Sara's insistence that they are going to the graveyard to drink "age-appropriate drinks" and do "age-appropriate stuff that's not illegal."
- Why has Greg been wearing a teapot all this time? It's the head of his elephant costume.
Chapter 10: The Unknown
- During the otherwise serious scene when Greg was completing the tasks given to him by the Beast, the Beast's irritated tone at one of the ways Greg completed it is hilarious considering his character:The Beast: Did you fetch for me the golden comb?
Greg: Will that work?
The Beast: This is a honeycomb.
Greg: A golden comb of honey! *giggles* - Greg coughs up leaves, making Beatrice worry that he's being turned into an Edelwood tree from the inside too, but Greg says that's just because he's been eating leaves.
- After Wirt realizes the lantern in his hands holds the Beast's soul, the Beast has a Villainous Breakdown trying to scare him. Wirt is momentarily afraid, then brushes it off... but his voice breaks when he tries to respond, forcing him to clear his throat before he can properly deliver his smooth Pre-Mortem One-Liner. Then he just scoffs like that was no big deal.
- In the epilogue, Beatrice's family teases her about turning them into bluebirds again.
The comics
The 2014 Special
- Wirt tries to be a Lemony Narrator all through this special, but isn't very good at it. His over-the-top angsty "poetic" narration is frequently So Bad, It's Good, but the crowner is towards the end of the special where he admits it to himself: "I'm sure glad no one can read what I'm thinking. This poetry is awful."
- This conversation between Wirt and Beatrice:Wirt: Hey, Beatrice... I had a question...
Beatrice: What's that?
Wirt: Well... I was just wondering. Do you think girls like poetry?
Beatrice: Nobody likes poetry.
(*Beat*)
Wirt: (slightly miffed) Some people do.
Beatrice: Yeah, but nobody likes those people.
Wirt: Oh.
- Fred's backstory in issue #2, and the revelation that he used to be known as "Honest Freddy." Being blatantly honest does not make him any less hilarious, especially when he tries to apply for a job at a bank.Banker: So do you have any qualifications for this job?
Fred: Nope.
Banker: Any useful skills?
Fred: Not a one.
Banker: Are you even interested in this line of work?
Fred: No, absolutely not. - In issue #3, Greg's reaction when he finally gets to eat the pear he's been wanting for an entire issue is to take one bite, make a face and then throw the pear away because "It's pear flavored!"
