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Top X Videos
- "The 5 Flattest Voice Performances by Hollywood Actors in Games"
- Andy begins the episode with a defence of Peter Dinklage's notoriously flat performance in the alpha release of Destiny by pointing out that the dialogue he was given didn't exactly lend itself easily to great performances to begin with. To demonstrate, each of the Outside Xbox crew delivers a reading of the infamous "That wizard came from the moon" line, each giving it a different blend of Stylistic Suck.Jane: That wizard came from th...the moon?
Mike: That wizard came...from the moon? [Raised eyebrow]
Andy: THAT WIZARD CAME FROM THE MOOOOON!
- Mike wants someone to make sure Michael Biehn is okay.
- Jane discusses the "...SSPACE!" line from Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3, before concluding no, it's actually brilliant and everyone should do it forever. It then becomes an on-and-off-again Running Gag in other videos.
- Andy begins the episode with a defence of Peter Dinklage's notoriously flat performance in the alpha release of Destiny by pointing out that the dialogue he was given didn't exactly lend itself easily to great performances to begin with. To demonstrate, each of the Outside Xbox crew delivers a reading of the infamous "That wizard came from the moon" line, each giving it a different blend of Stylistic Suck.
- "8 'Useful' Items That Were No Help Whatsoever"
Mike: I suppose it's realistic that you'd only be able to carry one or two rockets in addition to the rocket launcher itself, but d'you what else is realistic? Maths homework. And parking fines.
- Mike's complaint about powerful video game weapons that only allow you to carry a small handful of ammo to use with them, thus making them next to useless in practical terms. It's the sheer disgust in his voice on the (italicised) comparisons that he uses:
- "7 Videogame Vehicles So Rubbish We'd Rather Walk, Thanks" has some choice words about the M35 Mako.Andy: The M35 Mako is an all-terrain infantry vehicle designed for manoeuvrability in even the harshest planetary conditions. That's what it's designed to do; what it actually does is suck.
- "7 Awkward Product Placements That Put You Off Said Product, Probably" involves Jane discussing a rather uncomfortable appearance by a Playboy magazine in Dead Rising 2:[Over footage of the game]
Jane: Head to the grotto in the centre of Palisades Mall in Dead Rising 2 and you can pick up a copy of Playboy that must have been submerged in water for a good couple of days. The magazine gives you extra experience from your interactions with women, which obviously reflects what happens if you meet women in the real world while clutching a soggy copy of Playboy.
[Cut to Jane frowning into the camera with an expression of disapproving disgust while shaking her head silently]
- 5 Game Movies We Love Despite Their Many, Crippling Flaws:
- Jane enthusiastically praises Silent Hill for letting Sean Bean live, then forgets where she was going with it.
- Luke's favourite things about the Warcraft movie? Total fidelity to the lore, and the huge shoulderpads.
- Mike describes the dialogue in Double Dragon as being "ninety percent screaming".
- Ellen notes that Lara's love interest in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is none other than Daniel Craig. You know the name of whom he'll play later, and it's pondered that if there are Bond girls, then if Bond himself would be a Croft boy. At least Ellen would make that observation if she could stop giggling at the idea as he walks around in the buff, items placed strategically, very Austin Powers.
- 7 Weird Ways Games Tried to Stop People Playing Them: According to Andy, it's important for game companies to discourage children from encountering certain content: nudity, excessive gore, or Aliens: Colonial Marines.Five-second clip of A:CM plays
Andy: COVER YOUR EYES, CHILDREN!
- One of the ways, that Leisure Suit Larry did, was to implement questions that only adults would know the answer of, so the Oxbox crew try to take them. There's only one little problem, the game was made in the late 80's/early 90's, so they have no idea of the answer, such as Jane vehemently denying Clint Eastwood ever sang when the question came up.
- "7 Most Baffling Game Adverts That Somehow Got Made" has...certain questions about the "Flair vs. Bear" campaign for Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3, which featured Ric Flair getting choked out, roughed up, and cockblocked by a man in a bear costume.Andy: You get the feeling these weren't even planned - this is just what Ric Flair's life is like now.
- "Heartbreaks We're Not Ready to Talk About" had Jane relate the story of being dumped by Alistair in Dragon Age: Origins, culminating in her performing a Heroic Sacrifice in order to guilt him.
- Especially funny because the other four all chose tear-jerking character deaths for their section, but Jane's saddest moment was when the cute guy broke up with her.
- "Times You Got Punished For Needlessly Being a Jackass" has Mike mention that Gruntilda's manner of speaking means that if the whole evil witch thing doesn't work out, she can at least drop the hottest rap album of 1998. Then there's a shot of Mike wearing headphones and nodding along to Gruntilda's Simlish.
- Luke's Hurricane of Puns in "6 Times DLC Literally Lost the Plot", discussing the time Phoenix Wright defended a killer whale.Luke: I mean, whaley, there's no way this animal could be the kriller. I mean, sure, motive and means, but what about orcatunity?
Andy: Please, just stop.
Luke: I mean, it's just unbaleenvable!
Andy: You're just embarrassing yourself.
- "7 Good Guys Who Became Bad Guys, Much Cooler":
- Mike's explanation for what makes Tyrant Superman in Injustice: Gods Among Us cool: him punching Aquaman into a pipe, and into the sky...Mike: (with a bowl of popcorn) I'll be honest, I just don't like Aquaman.
- Andy says picking Ryu in Street Fighter earned you more boos "than Mario in a ghost house".
- Jane gets sidetracked by the nature of symbolism.Jane: It'snote got a giant skull on it! That's like the universal sign of curses! And pirates. And poison. Bad news, yeah?
- That's...not how English works, Jane.Jane: As is all the rage these days, this really important revelationnote doesn't get revelated until after the end credits.
- Andy says he's turning evil...and then doesn't.Andy: It's like a double twist.
- Mike's explanation for what makes Tyrant Superman in Injustice: Gods Among Us cool: him punching Aquaman into a pipe, and into the sky...
- "7 Tortured Acronyms They Clearly Worked Backwards From", Luke decides to get in on the Fun with Acronyms by coming up with one of his own for his elite fighting squadron: Flying, Landing, And Meanwhile Initialising Nonstop Gnarly Operations.
- Jane: (from offscreen) That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard
Luke: FLAMINGOs never say die. (Cue Glasses Pull)
- "7 Acronyms So Painful They Need An Ice Pack, Commenter Edition":
- Luke accidentally lets slip that he's a replicant, and then insists that didn't happen and he is totally human, honestly.
- Ellen receives some worrying news while discussing acronyms in Fallout:Ellen: This is known as the Generalised Occupational Aptitude Test, or "GOAT" for short. Not sure what "goat" has to do with my job, but whatever.
Jane: (from offscreen) You'll see!
- Luke tries for a Cutaway Gag involving flying a helicopter to Everest Base Camp, only for Ellen to turn up and tell him they don't have the budget.
- Luke analyses the DOOMP (Digital Optical Output Mounted Proxy) acronym from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and concludes that it means Raiden is trying to access another country's Netflix.
- Jane geeks out about Mass Effect until Luke arrives to restrain her.
- Doctor Mike explains what GUILT stands for in the Trauma Center games. What he can't explain is what it means.
- More of Luke's "backstory" is revealed: supposedly, he was expelled from medical school after leaving a Tamagotchi in someone's ribcage.
- Luke tries to find a good acronym for "SUBSCRIBE". He settles on "Seriously U Better Subscribe...CRIBE." Even he can't keep a straight face.
- "8 Times Forced Stealth Sections Made Us Want To Eat Our Own Hands":
- The definition of stealth.Jane: A gratifying test of patience, focus, and skill.
Mike: A thing standing between you and explosions.
- Early on, the video has a poll about whether crouch-walking is good for your thighs. The options are "Yes", "No", and "Thanks for Noticing".
- Mike works out that the apartment you get for completing the stealth mission in Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines must be worth at least half a million dollars.Mike: Got any more awful stealth missions I can do for you?
- Jane introduces us to a new measurement: the Ellen, measured in terms of the height of Ellen Rose.
- Jane realises that a stealth section in a David Cage game involves a flash forward during the flashback.Jane: You've got to stop messing with the timeline, David Cage! You're already fading out of this photo I have of you for some reason!
- Andy realises that the Yiga Clan hideout in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is yet another example of the game doing something brilliantly - namely, designing the most infuriating stealth section possible.
- The definition of stealth.
- While performing the outro for "7 Times Swimming was the Actual Worst", a net held from off camera attempts to catch Luke just as he's telling viewers to subscribe.
- In "7 Nobodies Who Were the Real Hero," it's a bit funny that Jane committed virtual genicide on her Animal Crossing town just so she could turn it into an Egopolis. What makes it really funny? Finding out that it was already an Egopolis, just a different one.Jane: Isabelle, New Janesburg honours your service, and I'm sorry about that time I deleted the whole town just to change the name.Mike: (from off screen) What was it before?Jane: "Rio de Jane-iro."
- "7 Guns That Arent Guns (But Are Better Than Guns)"
- Andy starts off Dead Space's Plasma Cutter with this:
- At the end of the same section, the rest of the team get so annoyed with his limb puns that Ellen and Luke grab him and throw him out of the chair.
- For Lúcio's Sonic Amplifier in Overwatch, Ellen compares the damaging properties of the amplifier as "playing dubstep through a straw at high volume". When there's a retort offscreen, she whips out her iPhone with a straw at the speaker as if she's arming it.
- "8 Embarrassing Ways You Insta-Failed That Youll Never Live Down"
- Luke opens the video by saying that some failures leave you with nothing but feelings of shame and frustration...and if that was what they were after, they'd go outside and play real sports.
- Ellen discusses her gripes about Invisible Walls, including how she ran into one herself. When told from offscreen that it was a glass door, she hushes.
- Luke stealing Ellen's fanfiction journal. Apparently one chapter involves the crew operating a heist in Gringotts
- Proof that escort missions don't have to be awful:
- 5 Terrible Mortal Kombat Clones That Time Forgot has Andy referring to Morkat Kombats music as confrontational techno, and then being slightly confused by the live-action tour.Shang Tsung: *Being interviewed* What helps children be able to be er, co-concerned about violenceAndy: Yes, evil sorcerer Shang Tsung, whatever you say.
Andy: Here he is, enjoying a rousing one-handed game of Bloodstorm as player two, for some reason.
- Then later on, him talking about Daniel Pesinas Bloodstorm advert.
- "8 Parties You Really Don't Want An Invite To (Sorry I'm Washing My Hair That Night)" teaches us some interesting things about the Oxbox crew.Ellen: If you were invited to a party by someone that has regularly tried to kill you, you'd say no, wouldn't you? But I can't miss another of Mike's summer barbeques...
Mike: (offscreen) Oh, come on, those sausages were fine!
Jane: At a party, some people just wanna be the centre of attention, all eyes on them. I call those people "Andy".
Andy: (offscreen) Someone left a guitar here! I'm gonna play it!
Jane: (rolls eyes into the next room)
Jane: There's every chance Agent 47 could bypass the stealthy approach and go in guns blazing in what we here at OX like to call 'going full Mike.'
- Then there's this part referencing Mike's unique play style...
- "7 Creepiest Pokemon Backstories That Will Fuel Your Nightmares Forever, Sorry" introduces each of the Pokemon in question with a variation on the old "Who's That Pokemon?" interactive quiz... with the variation being the reactions of freaked-out horror whenever the Pokemon in question show up.[On the cute-seeming Komala]
Luke: It's... quite cute what's wrong with it what's wrong with it?!
Andy: What's it doing to that log?!
- "7 Times A Game Over Was More Fun Than Winning (Does That Make Us Bad People?)" is, as Andy points out repeatedly, laden with punny references to '80s and '90s music, with Andy's complaining about them being, if anything, funnier than the actual jokes.Ellen: To be fair, I don't think Lara is actually into '80s pop. She seems like more of a...Tomb Raver.
Andy: Oh my God...
- 7 Strangest Houses You Don't Want To Live In, Trust Us:
- There's another great poll, asking what you spend money on instead of houses: "avocados", "elaborate doorway contraptions", "are fidget spinners still in?" and "I invest in Hot Wheels, ofc".
- It turns out they have yet another jar, this time for "getting lost in the Outsider's eyes". Ellen gets dinged twice...
- ...Aaand comes close to it again in 7 Creepiest Things You'd Throw Away If They Weren't So Damn Mission-Critical, which also has Andy earning an Obvious Statement Award for the insight "The enemies in The Evil Within are not very pleasant".Andy: (joyfully, raising a trophy) Can't believe I finally took home an Obvy!
- In "7 Skills We Can't Believe We Had To Unlock", the necessity to unlock drinking milk in World of Warcraft causes Jane some problems:Jane: Now what will I drink with these cookies?!
Andy: [Holding a glass of milk up to the camera] Almond milk!
[Jane tries a sip]
Jane: [Forced cheer] That's worse than being dead!
- In "7 Terrible Hiding Spots You Actually Got Away With." Ellen remarks that in Dishonored you can hide on the roof, provided you avoid recreating a chorus line from Mary Poppins...only for Luke, dressed as a chimney sweep, to already be planning on. He is then told by Ellen they can't do it.Luke: (angrily throws script on ground) Supercala-Sound-Effect Bleep you all!
- "7 Ludicrous Cameos That Must Immediately Be Declared Non-Canon":
- Ellen doesn't care that a chocobo-camel hybrid and Final Fantasy XV villain in Assassin's Creed Origins make no sense, because the former vastly improves her Senu selfies.
- Jane discusses the Halo cameo in the Dead or Alive series, and then uses it to make a short joke at Ellen's expense.Jane: It doesn't hide the fact that she is 6'8", standing at 7'2" in her half-ton armour. She's hugely tall, like all Spartans. This gives Spartans a natural advantage at combat, basketball, and seeing over the tops of other people's heads at gigs. Wouldn't that be nice, Ellen?
Ellen: I'm there for the atmosphere.
Jane: Sure you are.
- When discussing basketball cameos, Luke jokes that Princess Peach is "good at holding court". This earns him a chorus of boos.
- Ellen spouts a string of vaguely skateboarder-ish nonsense while insisting that she knows skateboarding terms, and then has to be escorted out of the chair when she starts parodying Avril Lavigne.
- The Space Core from Portal 2, according to Jane, "yammers on about space like a drunk friend trying to explain a moon landing conspiracy theory they found online".
- Ellen is most upset that most racing regulatory bodies wouldn't allow an ape to compete...although they live in hope.
- ''Life Is Strange: Before the Storm: 8 Things That Made Us go HMMM": Jane provides some valuable life advice!Jane: If you're gonna hit him, keep on hitting him! He's on the ground! Kick the knife away!
Luke: That's not the official advice of the channel, I should add.
Jane: ...But if you are going to, don't stop. Double Tap.
- In "7 Times A Series Went 3D Too Soon, Argh My Eyes", Luke says how two things don't need changing: Tetris and his Jurassic Park shirt. Cue a retort offscreen asking about the smell.
- In "7 'Stealth' Takedowns That Were the Least Stealthy Thing to Ever Happen", Luke mentions how the word "hatchet" would not be the first word to come to mind when someone mentions stealth. Cue a few Oxbox members playing word association, with Mike saying "hatchet" in response to the word "stealth".
- In "8 DLCs That Were Ridiculous Fanservice and We Loved It"
Andy (as Winston): My Lord, I hope this letter finds you well. Today, Lara jumped in and out of the pool 100 times because she read on an internet forum that it would make her clothes fall off.
- Mike is victim to two simultaneous violations of a Swear Jar. One is for making a Dark Souls reference when discussing Borderlands 2 reference to Tiny Tina's Assault of Dragon's Keep, and the other for a "Cliches in Video Game Journalism."
- When Andy discusses a letter Winston the butler leaves for Lord Croft, he references Tomb Raider II and the penchant for players to have Lara lock him in the walk-in freezer. He then wonders if there were any other letters they could have found.
- "7 Unlockable Characters That Weren't Worth The Effort" gives us the glorious sight of Jane punching a plush Pikachu out of frame.
Andy: I... already said it.Future Andy: Oh... in that case, Boooo!!!
- It also gives us an interesting twist on the usual Lame Pun Reaction after Andy makes a pun... and his future self arrives a few seconds too late to stop him.
- "7 DLCs That Literally Lost the Plot, Commenter Edition":
- Ellen is extremely proud to have remembered the precise series of letters and numbers that make up NieR: Automata's DLC's name.
- When Luke talks about the The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild DLC with the robot motorbike, Ellen guesses that the DLC's payoff is something to do with Zelda herself for five hours.
- Ellen's zombie apocalypse plan apparently involves tea.
- Mike describes the five seconds of looped footage of a terrifying eyeball in Fallout: New Vegas as "still better thanJustice League (2017)".
- Ellen's theory for how Gat out of Hell came about is that someone started from the pun and worked backwards.
- Luke closes the video while reading through another of Ellen's fanfiction journals. This one seems to involve Vampire Hermione...
- "7 Times when the Villain Just had to Sing!"
Mike: Hello, mum. Still not a doctor.
- Mike discusses Conker's Bad Fur Day and the Great Mighty Poo, realizing the sentence he just said. This eventually leads to him throwing up on camera while his mother calls.
Luke:(off-camera) More like you were behind me, Mike. Haha!Mike: Oh, that's it you! (goes off screen to attack Luke)
- Mike later discusses the overly self-referential villain of Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle, in which Mike gets indignant about body-shaming Mario's weight (while the Rabbid Luigi laughs) then sings about the Spiny Shell from Mario Kart, in which Mike references a Noodle Incident involving Luke using one and "things were said, and forgiven, but not forgot." Later, Mike remarks that the villains acting was about as bad as when Luke thought he fired a green shell, but Mike has put that behind him.
- "7 More Creepy Pokémon Backstories to Ruin Your Whole Day":
- Gorebyss prompts the following observation from Luke:Luke: Any oceanographer will tell you that the sea is full of horrors and oceanography is the Devil's work.
- Andy sarcastically asks how much damage a lamp can possibly do. Cue Ellen charging in with a lamp.
- Ellen wonders if Phantump's cry makes a good sound alert for her phone, and was advised not to. She uses it anyway.
- Luke mentions that Drampa burns down the houses of bullies. He then hopes that gently teasing Ellen about her height doesn't count, while smoke fills the studio... and realizes that Ellen has access to matches.
- Andy deals with Scizor, which beats its enemies up until there's nothing left but scraps. And by "deals with" we mean "assumes an attitude of fawning subservience while it tyrannises him". He then tries to ask Scizor if he wants to go back into his PokeBall, only for it to refuse. Andy then asks if he should go into the ball, and then tries just to get away from the creature.
- Gorebyss prompts the following observation from Luke:
- "7 Innocent Bystanders Who Were Screwed Over By You, The Hero" has Jane attempt to be with-it by talking about "the FBI agent watching you through your...webcam...". Then she gets started on "Kryptoncurrencies", which are, supposedly, based on Kryptonite and thus stable even if it is quite rare.Jane: Anyway, between you, me, and the FBI dude watching you watch this YouTube video - hey Greg!
- "7 Doomed Nintendo Ideas That Are Huge Hits in Some Parallel Universe": Ellen pointing out how completely terrifying the Virtual Boy's advertisement is, especially the statement that it 'needs your eyes'.
- "7 Cheaty Bosses Who Didn't Fight Fair":
- Mike informs us that attacking the people onstage is a good way to get thrown out of most theatres, he's told.Mike: Look, no-one else was going to stop Aaron Burr! He was going to shoot Hamilton!
- Jane compares Tony Hawk's Underground to Shakespeare.Luke: It's your old school on the phone. They want to revoke your English A-levels.
Jane: (furiously) Tell them I'm busy!
- Jane exhibits a constant thread of Skewed Priorities throughout.Jane: Whoa whoa whoa. Providence. Do what you like to our party - we don't even like half those guys - but don't touch our save files.
- Mike's emergency plans to defeat Mr Freeze: 1) turn on a radiator, and 2) make a pun about ice and arrest him while he's helplessly convulsed with laughter.
- Mike is also very offended that Mr Freeze in Batman: Arkham City negates various strategies for attacking him during his boss fight and cannot simply be cheesed.Mike: (sarcastically) What are we supposed to do? Work hard, adapt and improvise? (Luke whispers something to him) We are?! Why was I not informed about this in advance?
- Jane summarises Father Gascoigne from Bloodborne as looking like he's "spent the last four hundred nights sleeping in a morgue dumpster".
- Mike informs us that attacking the people onstage is a good way to get thrown out of most theatres, he's told.
- "Control Gameplay: 7 Freakiest Things We Saw in Remedy's Control Gameplay":
Jane: This bureau investigates and researches spooky and arcane goings ons. Like the FBI, if it was all Mulders and no Scullys.
- Jane's explanation of what the Federal Bureau of Control is:
Jane: You try being on time for a meeting when the conference room has phased out of existence.
- After explaining the Eldritch Location nature of the Oldest House and the possibility the dream world is involved, Jane comments on the difficulty that'd bring to working there:
Jane: Jessie's gun, referred to as her 'service weapon' is the sort of unsettling object that we simultaneously want out of our sight, also don't want to take our eyes off of in case it tries anything funny. For a start it's a freakily shifting collection of cubes that bristles and shifts of its own volition, and seems to be alive, possibly sentient, and maybe silently judging you.
- The sheer fact that one of their entries is 'the sinister fridge'.
- The way Jessie's Cool Gun is described has multiple:
- Describing the Drifter as 'the flying rainbow ghost', and stating that it will remain described as such by the OX crew.
- "7 Ordinary Jobs You Won't Believe Got Their Own Game": Truly, being Mike is a living nightmare.
- Mike: (cheerfully) We normally play video games for a bit of an escape from the day in, day out routine of our jobs.
Jane: Wait. Your job involves playing video games.
Mike: (without changing tone or expression) Yes. I'm trapped. Help me.
- "7 Terrifying Sounds We'll Never Get Out of Our Heads"
- Luke demonstrates the conditioning of Metal Gear's detected sound, by playing it on a laptop as Andy walks by. Cue Andy ducking for cover.
- Ellen jokes about how clickers would always go towards sources of noise...then gets lured by the jingle of an ice cream truck.
- "7 Ways Games Tried to Make Hacking Fun (and Failed Miserably)": During the segment for Prey, Luke gets into Andy's encrypted hard drive containing Resident Evil fanfiction. Once he cracks the code thanks to talking about a feature of the hacking minigame, he comes across something disturbing within the fanfic.Luke: Andy, we need to have a talk!
- "7 Heroes who Grew Emotionally, Well Done Them": Luke provides Kratos with some parenting advice.Luke: Didn't tell him about the my-body-is-covered-in-corpse-ash thing; maybe save that for when he's sixteen. Also didn't mention the sex minigames; maybe save that for never.
- "7 Games You Played So Much You Saw Them Everywhere":
- Mike mentions the way that real-life buildings start tempting you to climb them after enough Assassin's Creed, and we learn something.Mike: Anyway, five hours, two fire crews, and one apologetic phone call to the bishop later...I finally made bail.
- Luke wants us to know that you shouldn't fear security cameras, unless your jumper is full of stolen crisps, which you can't prove that the one he's wearing is <crinkling noises>.Luke: (pulling out a packet) You saw nothing.
- The fifth entry, due to Grand Theft Auto, is "Forgetting car theft is wrong/a crime".
- Inspired by Guitar Hero, Luke attempts to perform a multiple-choice test for the audience. The others restrain him and take his guitar away on the spot.
- We learn that practicing puzzles from The Witness on notepaper has led to Jane's house looking like the den of a Serial Killer.
- Mike mentions the way that real-life buildings start tempting you to climb them after enough Assassin's Creed, and we learn something.
- 7 Villains who Cheated You Out of a Boss Fight: Discussion of Conker's Bad Fur Day leads to us learning another mysterious fact from the enigmatic past of Andy Farrant.
- "7 Weirdest Button Prompts You Were Not Ready For":
- The Spoiler Scarf.
- The first one, curling up into a ball in Dark Souls I, is first discussed in the context of watching the Gaping Dragon rear up:Luke: Yep, this is a curl-up-into-a-ball situation, see you in a week!
- The second one is, of course, Press F To Pay Respects.
- Yet more weird background information about the Oxboxtronauts, in this case how Andy learned not to throw Ellen a surprise party.Ellen: My panic reflex is punching.
- Luke insists that Brock Lesnar simply must be CGI. Given that Brock Lesnar is the closest thing in real life to an ogre it's hard to dispute him.
- Luke needs cue cards to pretend he knows anything about wrestling.
- Andy seems appropriately weirded out by Ancestors having button prompts for mating and giving birth.
- Ellen being hilariously blunt:Ellen: And if you think that sounds dumb, that's because Homefront is dumb.
- Luke explains the plot of Super Mario Odyssey as involving consuming souls to send the demon inside Mario back to sleep for a thousand years.
- This line:
- "7 Ways D&D Players Destroy Their DM's Plans":
Johnny: No offense to the Oxventurers, but when making an adventure to your players, you take their average intelligence, and then halve it.
- When Johnny is talking about avoiding the "night-time docks visit" derail by being more obvious, Luke infers that future notes are going to be "GO TO THE DOCKS YOU IDIOTS"...when going to the docks was the derail Johnny was trying to talk about.
Johnny: The problem with putting a piece on the board is that other people can interact with it. And the Oxventurers have done some really horrible things to my NPCs in the past.Andy: (deadpan) They had it coming.
- Johnny discusses what happens when you give the Oxventurers NPCs.
- When discussing the Orphan Mortar incident, Johnny is just really enthused about killing orphans.
- Just the phrase "...and that was my downfall, because they now had a whale that they could later weaponise".
- "I'm not gonna say it was a lovely moment, because Egbert threw up afterwards..."
- Let's Play Dating Sims on XBOX Live:
Jane: I can't help but feel this is a window into the writer's mind. A terrifying window.
- The group reaction to Don't Die Dateless, Dummy, which is just a bit messed-up when it comes to women.
Andy: ... They're confident.
- Upon discovering that Virtual Attraction is technically titled Virtual Attraction 1, apparently in expectation of a sequel:
Mike: Is this just a negging simulator?
- As well as diving deep into the Uncanny Valley, Virtual Attraction has, again, some weird ideas about women.
Jane: Yeah, this is "The Game: The Game".
Mike: MY EYES!
- When the Uncanny Valley makes another appearance in Who's Gonna Get The Girl, Mike and Andy can be seen visibly cringing away from the screen.
"Was that an earthquake, or did you just [pwn] my world?""Hi, I suffer from [headaches], do you come here often?""My [anger] for you is like the ocean, never ending.""If [ice panther] was time, you'd be [a goat]."
- Everything about the Old Spice: The Secret To The Perfect Pickup Line segment, but especially them continually and accidentally flubbing the pickup lines (even with the deodorant powerup activatednote ), leading to things like:
- The conclusion.
- Let's Play PT:
Jane: I hope you don't need the bathroom.
- Andy referring to the ghost as a "spookington". This somehow fails to reduce the fear.
- The whole sequence with the bathroom.
Andy: I do now!
- Ellen arrives in the middle of an unnerving sequence involving what appears to be a screaming foetus, giving Jane and Andy simultaneous heart attacks. Said foetus is dubbed "Feety the PT Foetus", and even gets its own theme song.
- Even better: a subsequent list video reveals that Jane had in fact arranged this prank, having texted Ellen to bang on the door on her arrival
- "I'm beatboxing in fear!"
- Mike dubs the repetitive setting, consisting of running through the same few corridors with creepy as hell tweaks, "the sequel to Groundhog Day that nobody wanted".
- Repeatedly applying "the classic horror strategy of moonwalking" because they're worried the ghost will be there if they turn around.
- Upon discovering something in the pause screen, they come up with other possible locations, including the media bar and Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.
- The Shout-Out density increases sharply as they become increasingly unnerved.
- "Everything is eyeballllls...everything is eyeballs when you're being-murdered-by-ghosts..."
- "Stop degaussing my screen, you monster!"
- Let's Play Battlefront Death Star DLC:
Andy: "Slave I In My Face: The Jane Douglas Story." Title of your autobiography.
- Jane plays chicken with Slave I and loses.
Mike: Rando Calrissian.
- Jane dubs herself "Rando Rebel #17."
Mike: I'm gonna stick with the X-Wing, it's cool and its wings go up and down.
- Andy Farrant, A-Wing hipster.
Andy: Yeah, all right, if you wanna be mainstream, Mike. I like this little fighter, it's called the A-Wing, bit obscure, hasn't made it to Tatooine - whatever backwater you're from...
"Easy pickings!" (crashes into TIE fighter, loses most of his health)
- Andy tempts fate:
Mike: (Han) is there for the glory, I think.
- The team concludes that they're recovering R2-D2 from the Death Star because he has the map to where Mark Hamill is hiding out - Los Angeles.
- Jane finds an R4 and wonders if they could just roll it back to the Rebel base and pretend it's R2.
- Motivation can be very important.
Jane: He's there for the smooches!
Andy: Yeah, the princess, and the treasure.
Jane: Why aren't we in it for the princess and the treasure?
Mike: We're in it for the modest paycheque.
Jane: Getting shot at, yeah.
Wrong game, idiot!
- Jane is killed by someone with "Revan" in their handle:
- "Mike, this is a dustbin. You've brought back a dustbin."
- With R2 inches from extraction and time nearly up, they propose getting him onboard the transport by throwing him.
- At the start of the third phase, Jane and Mike are assigned for the trench run. Within seconds, Mike gets shot down but before Andy could even finish berating him, Jane gets killed too.
- Far Cry 4 Tuk-Tuk Ski Jump Challenge: The team experiences a minor mathematical issue when Jane scores a total of six points in three runs:Mike: On top of your four...
Mike: So seven altogether...
[*NO IT ISN'T]
Mike: Oh my god. Tiebreak situation.
[(WE ARE BAD AT COUNTING)]]
- Let's Play Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes
Mike: You are such a millennial!
- When describing the symbols on the keypad of a bomb, for one of them Ellen is unable to provide any further description than "half a hashtag"note .
- The fact that the three Butt-Monkey of the show were given the task of defusing bombs hadn't escaped the viewers' notice
- Red Dead Redemption:
Andy: He's like, I wish I hadn't had Redemption, or I'd shoot these two...
- The hosts talking about how annoyed Marston must be by the two women behind him on the train talking about the future:
Jane: "I'll have to start redeeming myself all over again..."
Mike: Are you wearing jeans and a jacket?
- The hosts waste no time riffing and mocking John Marston's approach to Bill Williamson's stronghold. Namely just walking up to the gate only to be shot at.
- Them naming Marston's horse Horson Welles, and later they find a dog and name him Doglas Adams.
- Prior to the raid on Fort Mercer, Andy changes John Marston's clothing into a new, smarter costume, leading to this:
Andy: [Snappish] Yes! What's... wrong with that? It's a... good look.
Mike: Just sort of... a bit Jeremy Clarkson.
Andy: No it isn't.
Mike: [Chuckling] I know exactly how to wind Andy up.
- Just before resolving the final "American Appetites" mission, an NPC begins to challenge Andy to one of the in-game duels by demanding to see how fast a draw he is. Andy plugs the guy before he's even finished speaking, causing all the other Non Player Characters around to start panicking.
- Yooka-Laylee Gameplay:Now to see team OX's platforming prowess
Fun fact: We have none
- Cities: Skylines:
Jane: We hope we can count on your vote in the re-elections! Just kidding. There'll be no elections.
- All the jokes about their dystopian rule over Oxboxford.
Andy: It's always something. We want power, we want water, we want to not be murdered by your secret police.
Jane: Can't we just ship in water from a less corrupt city? All right, you want water, have some water. Sarcastic amounts of water.
Andy: Why can't we have, like, an Immortan Joe deal, where we just dump it all on their heads once a day?
Andy: [The city's electricity is] powering all the street lights on our giant vanity road!
Mike: Put the tourism district next to the nuclear power plant!
Andy: (On a tweet complaining about how long the fire department took to rescue a cat) Who do you think gave her those trees? Us! You're welcome!
Jane: Lots of skyscrapers! Make it an affront unto the Lord!
Mike: Did they not learn the lesson from when we bulldozed the last guys?
Jane: Shut up, it's a utopia.
Andy: Call [the hospital]...Dr Andy's Horrortorium.
Jane: Can't they just burn some corpses for power?
Mike: (cheerfully) A nice, big, smelly landfill!
Jane: (on a positive tweet) You may continue living in my utopia.
Jane: Why is this a crime hotspot?
Andy: Destroy the house!
Jane: Nice little smiley tweet. Shall we find her? ...And end her?
Mike: Are we picking up water from where we're dumping filthy water?
- Jane takes a moment to apologise to anyone who's actually good at Cities: Skylines.
- Mike refers to the sewage crisis as "#DyingOfDysentery".
Jane: Stop happening, crime!
- Law enforcement, OX style:
Jane: Who wouldn't want to live here? Next to the beach, restaurants, volleyball courts...
- When they demolish a few houses due to the sewage crisis, they're sent a tweet in-game expressing distaste. Naturally, Andy wonders which house belongs to the tweeter.
- Placing some new residential land:
Mike: Sewage pipe...
- The airport is dubbed the "OXBOX DANGER ZONE".
- The team naming buildings after themselves is a succession of Black Comedy. The Jane Douglas Institute is banal enough unless one remembers its namesake. Then the Oxboxford hospital is named "Dr Andy's Horrortorium". And finally a crematorium simply named ..."Mike's Grill"
- The team follows an ambulance transporting a patient when a black sedan pulls up behind the ambulance. They immediately assume it's a hearse from Mike's crematorium, commenting it isn't a good omen for the patient.
- Needless to say, when they have a go on the PS4 version Luke and Ellen prove to have similarly impressive town-planning skills. To illustrate, at one point their town of Oxtralia somehow manages to be flooded and on fire at the same time.
- Star Trek Bridge Crew:
Mike: We're all gonna die. I'm crying inside my VR headset.
- They identify themselves on the VR by screwing around, doing the YMCA, and playing various "air instruments" including guitar, double bass, and flute.
Luke: Bring them aboard. And set phasers to fun!
- When they receive a mission to ensure a transport isn't smuggling invasive species, Luke refers to it as "space koalas getting in the vents".
- Andy views torpedoes as The All-Solving Hammer, including attempting to shoot them at the message from an admiral telling you that you've completed the Kobayashi Maru.
- Ellen pretends to be pressing controls in order to look busy.
- Instead of "Make it so", the USS Oxbox captain's command is "Punch it!"
- Rescuing people from a damaged ship:
Mike: You promised you wouldn't say it!
Luke: Turn their engines off and on again.note
- They go to red alert at one point just to see what it's like. And another time because the "receive transmission" and "red alert" buttons are right next to each other.
- Tech support in space:
If anyone's not entirely comfortable with this...go out the airlock or something, I don't really care.
- Whenever anything goes wrong, everyone starts yelling and panicking.
- Luke's Line in the Sand speech needs a little work.
[later] It'll be seen as an act of war, but I assume we're all cool with that.
Luke: Well guys, we started a war and we didn't rescue hardly anyone.
- The end of part 1:
Mike: Set a course for the pub!
It's like that weird dream where I'm William Shatner!
- The caption for Part 2 mentions that it has Jane as captain of the Enterprise, and then asks a pertinent question: "Wait, why is everything on fire?"
- Jane's first order as captain is to "make some noise for 1966!"
Jane: Shoot the stuffing out of them!
- The Enterprise is in safe hands, with the ship taking damage before the mission even began.
- It takes them several minutes to figure out how to go to warp.
- There's a lot of complaining about mid-20th-century starship design, including comparisons of the buttons to Jolly Ranchers, the scanners to graph paper and so on.
- After they destroy a Klingon ship, Jane issues high-fives. This resembles an awkward slap fight more than anything. This happens twice.
- Chief Engineer Ellen describes the damage done as "holes and burned bits".
- Mike concludes that the criminal the mining ship is escorting is Khan. Andy immediately does the yell.
- Jane knows her military terminology.
Mike: Can we ram them?
Jane: No, we're going to torpedo the heck out of them.
- KIPPERS, MASTER OF MAGIC:
Ellen: We've got the gold...Luke: No, take me to jail. Kippers is going to do a mudcrab jailbreak!
- First Kippers attempts to take over Whiterun with an army of giant mudcrabs, with Luke and Ellen singing the Pirates of the Caribbean theme in the background...
- ...but then gets arrested by a Whiterun guard for killing a chicken with Avada Kedavra earlier. Luke and Ellen opt to have Kippers submit and go to jail.
- Kippers' first outing, involving the catnip mod, was also hilarious. At one point they decide to test out the combat-boosting power of catnip against a troll. Problem: catnip speeds up time for everyone but your Khajit when freshly taken.Luke: Oh no, I made the troll faster! AAAAAAA
Ellen: [dies laughing as Kippers rolls down the mountain in fast forward]
- After they download a few house mods for Skyrim, they visit the first house as Ellen gives a standard realtor pitch. She talks about how the place is perfect for wanted criminals to hide from authorities as Kippers walks out of his house...to see a Whiterun guard waiting to arrest Kippers. This leads to the longest Corpsing from Ellen that lasts for several minutes.
- First Kippers attempts to take over Whiterun with an army of giant mudcrabs, with Luke and Ellen singing the Pirates of the Caribbean theme in the background...
- Lego City Undercover:
- Luke and Ellen singing "Walkin' on Sunshine" very, very badly in order to avoid a copyright strike.
- When it goes into co-op, they are forced to use some...nontraditional styles in order to compensate for the police car only having one seat.Luke: (standing on the roof) This is a sustainable plan.
- Ellen gets sidetracked from pursuing the main objective by basketball, while Luke is incredibly charmed by the "whistle and wave badge" control and uses it constantly throughout the mission.
- This bit speaks for itself:Luke: (standing on top of a tow truck spamming the whistle button) I'm the siren!
- Luke, master detective:Luke: I think I can tell which truck is you, Ellen. It's the one smashing everything.
- Most of the distractions only work for one player, which Luke finds rather irritating.
- It turns out that the tow truck can tow things.Luke: (being towed up a hill) We are solving a crime!
NPC: You should get to the Red Cafe as soon as you can, Chase!
Ellen: Yeah, just...one second...doing this first.
Luke: L-3 is the horn. This is the best police work.
- The scene transitions:After some faffing about...
After yet more faffing about...
- It turns out that neither of them are very good at driving Lego cars.Ellen: Okay, mine is an open-topped bus now.
Luke: I got my truck stuck in a gate.
Ellen: Aw, you broke our car.
- The not-good-at-driving thing proves especially problematic when they go on a race. At one point they trash each other's cars simultaneously. Another time, Luke jumps into the back of Ellen's commandeered limo in order to cheat.
- Mouse Trap:
Luke: Explain yourself, MB Games!
- They get really dramatic about everything, from coming up with backstories to ham-acting towards the end to handing out dramatic emphasis to things like the Crank, the Diver and the "Whirlpool of Death".
- The official Oxbox motto is stated to be "swallow your rage and carry on" when Andy gets really upset about differently coloured components on the box picture.
- This bit:Luke: The important thing is, we all kept our cool.
Andy: We're just going to have a little clip here of Luke keeping his cool.
Luke: (from twenty seconds previously) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- Luke declares himself a "dice whisperer" when he successfully reads a die that had fallen under the sofa with his thumb.
- Everything involving "Mouse Tipsy", such as Luke declaring that it is "Smash Mouse", prompting Andy to attempt to end the video. He attempts to do so again when they start talking about the Mousetrap being a "pipe dream", which Luke, looking at the second-last piece, amends to a "drainpipe dream".
- Andy has certain issues with Robinson Goldberg Contraptions.I'm sorry, but if you build a mousetrap like this in your house, you are a Serial Killer.
- Andy also gets very irate that the colour of some of the pieces of the Mouse Trap doesn't match the colours that they are on the box.
Andy: [Pointing at the laughing child on the box] Is anyone making that face?! [Glowers sullenly into the camera]
Luke: Ellen, can you leave the cheese alone for just one minute?!
- Deep Game Analysis takes place.Andy: Sorry, in terms of the lore...the Diver is an actual human being, yes?
Ellen & Mike: Yes.
Andy: Not a statue of a diver.
Ellen: For scale...(holds the Diver and a mouse next to each other)
Mike: That mouse is enormous. I can see why they needed the trap!
Luke: He sort of roughly matches the bath and the lamppost, so think of it as, this (indicates the machinery) is literal, and everything around the side, and the mice, that's metaphorical. So in fact, the mice could represent people...
[Everyone cracks up]
Luke: Is it my turn?
Andy: Sorry, I need to understand this diver. So, he's a human being who is complicit in this trap. Is he...
Mike: He's a minimum wage employee.
Andy: Does he own the house? Is he the person that set it up, and he -
Mike: No, no, no. He's the help.
Luke: He's the butler. It's like (adopts posh accent) 'Jeeves, get into your bathing togs, I wish to construct a deadly maze!'
Andy: There's an ad on Craigslist. 'Open-minded mice'.
Luke: 'Open-minded man wanted to stand in deadly maze'.
- Ellen gets so stressed once the Mousetrap is complete that she actually starts squeaking.
- Andy "announces" his new book of "pro tactics for Mousetrap".
- "I don't know the word for seven!"
- Mousetrap is Serious Business you guys.Luke: If you roll a five, it's the end for me. And the end for Outside Xtra, because we are NOT working together!
- The first two times Ellen lands on the cheese, all three of the men adopt the exact same fake Evil Brit accent (a distinct British from their usual one, that is).
- Luke is nothing if not honest.Ellen: Five seconds ago you were all like, 'if you kill me that's the end of the channel'...
Luke: Yes, but what's different is, that was me...
- Ellen ends up landing on the cheese so many times that even the Evil Brit versions of Luke, Mike and Andy get exasperated.
Andy: Do you yearn for death?
Luke: You should tread very...Caerphilly?
- The trap fails on its first use. Twice - once from the crank not working the stop sign properly, once because a component was put on the wrong way around.Mike: Even though I placed that piece, we're all equally guilty of not spotting it.
- The bad cheese puns. Even Andy "BOOOOOO" Farrant takes a turn.
Andy: Please, I Camembert it any more!
Mike: Brie reasonable!
- "The puns are as delicious as the cheeeeeeese!"
- Eventually, Andy rolls a 5 to land on the Crank while Luke is on the cheese.Andy: This brings me no joy.
Mike: It brings him a lot of joy, look at that face.
- Goat Simulator:
- Mike and Andy decide to settle their differences like gentlemen by Goat Ro Dah-ing each other off the top of a Ferris wheel.
- Andy on the prowl:Andy: Nice shop, Webers. Be a shame if someone were to RAGDOLL A GOAT...through the window...
[Goat gets stuck]
I said, ragdoll a goat through the [goat collapses at the foot of the window] aw, Jesus...
I said, ragdoll a...[chuckling] goat through the window...[laughs]
- Oxbox's war on hotels continues!Andy: I can't wait to read the Tripadvisor reviews. "Nice hotel, bit of a goat problem..."
- Andy discovers that whoever kills deadmau5 takes his place!Andy: And in entertainment news today, electronic dance musician deadmau5 died in a tragic goat accident.
- Goat Ro Dah targeting is somewhat unreliable.Mike: The main person you're Fus-Ro-Dah-ing is me...[is flung off the roof] Oh, there I go. I'll see if I can find deadmau5.
- The entire digression on goats riding bikes.Mike: I've seen a vision of our harrowing future, and it is a goat winning the Tour de France.
- Mike finds a dead goat in a swimming pool. This is tragic and poignant for about five seconds, and then Mike gives it a burial at sea. With Fus Ro Dah.
- Luke, Ellen, Jane and Andy all team up in the Festive Seasoning DLC to make a carrot-onion-potato stew. It goes well.Luke: How do you think we did, guys? I'm going to say well? Super well. I've got my Michelin star—minus 34?!Andy: Guys, I think Ellen [just] stabbed me.
- Luke, Ellen, Jane and Andy all team up in the Festive Seasoning DLC to make a carrot-onion-potato stew. It goes well.
- ARMS Gameplay:
- Luke is nothing if not honest about their philosophy.Why did the search ever go beyond the one that has a robot dog?
- After selecting robotic police officer and pet Byte and Barq, Ellen starts humming the theme to The Bill. They then realise that many of their American viewers won't know what that is, so Luke compares it to Casualty...which, as Ellen points out, has exactly the same problem.
- The dog is a consistent problem for Luke, who keeps being distracted by it and tries to arrange his punches so they don't hit the dog.
- After Ellen does a victory dance, Luke decides that they should dance off opposite sides of the screen.
- Luke is nothing if not honest about their philosophy.
- Need for Speed Payback:
- An unintentional one: YouTube's algorithms have pegged the video as being about Burnout Takedown, because the title includes the phrase "BURNOUT TAKEDOWNS!" Might need a little more work on that, YouTube.
- Repeated references to the Fast & Furious franchise.
- Andy takes the role of Overthinker, questioning things like why they're doing twice the speed limit or why the car they're stealing explodes out of the back of the truck.
- Andy has exactly one way to rate racing games: does it have Burnout takedowns? If yes: it is a good racing game.
- When told to take out House enforcers, they speculate briefly on which house: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Lannister, Targaryen...
- They run into some barrels:Andy: Look out for the Exploding Barrels!
Mike: I didn't know they were exploding!
Andy: Of course! They're barrels in a videogame. What are they gonna do?
Mike: Good point.
- Mike's focus on the chase is somewhat compromised:Andy: Stop looking at the renewable energy, you're in the middle of an exciting high-speed chase! ...Slash heist.
Mike: Look at the tumbleweed! It's so realistic.
Mike: (after a takedown) Did you see the nice blue brake calipers on that BMW X-6?
Andy: No, of course not, why would I see that? Why would anyone see that? Why do you see that, you weirdo?
- A brief duel of bad puns:Andy: Nice. Nicetrous.
Mike: (after a particularly nasty takedown) Don't flip out, buddy! ...Sorry, that was an Ellen-grade pun.
- Andy does not know cars. At one point, he delivers the word "Koenigsegg" as though he's talking about the egg of a Koenig. He is then somewhat annoyed that it looks less like an egg and more like Robocop.
- In vehicle customisation, Mike attempts to make as ugly a Volkswagen Beetle as possible, while Andy won't shut up about underlighting. Andy doesn't get his underlighting, but Mike does create a truly hideous vehicle with clashing colours, two spoilers and so much camber and so little height it looks like an elephant has sat on it.
- Friday the 13th: The Game
- Jane tries to run away from Jason...by running into the cabin Andy's in. Naturally, Andy's less than amused especially since Jason kills him instead of Jane.
- After Jane as Jason kills Andy, she decides to celebrate by dancing. Or more accurately, getting Jason to spin around in place
- When Mike as Jason goes after Jane, her brilliant plan is to kite him around some fences, leading to this brilliant line from Mike.'Mike: Stop this nonsense.
- Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning:
Ellen: They brought you to life.
- The gnomes' Scottish accents are the subject of certain critique.Luke: I think he's from the region of Scotland called "America".
- Ellen gets really into it. No, more into it than that. She sounds on the verge of a Nerdgasm when talking about the level-up system.
- "Hi, fishy! Be my friend!"
- "He looks like a gnome, but he's a mole!"
- Discussing the life of Fomorous Hugues.Ellen: What makes you think he's dead?
Luke: Because he's an idiot.
- Reckoning Mode prompts Luke to say they "came in like a reckoning ball".
- "Delicious XP. Omnomnom."
- Ellen proclaims a heavily armoured cow to be harmless. Luke says it looks like Ganondorf. It turns out that "harmless" was overselling it a bit when it kicks them.
- Some good arguments from both parties.
- First when talking about the gnomes:
Luke: They played God, they're villains.
Ellen: I trust her, her name's Sister Zelda!
- Then when encounter a sister preaching in the street:
Luke: I don't trust anyone who's standing in the street screaming about monks.
- They stumble on a weird bug where the last thing anyone said to them hovers in the subtitles for a while.
- The gnomes' Scottish accents are the subject of certain critique.
- Steep Bell Ring Wingsuit Challenge gets off to a slow start because they go about ten feet per jump for a while. Then Ellen goes the wrong way. Then Luke crashes. Then Mike crashes.
- Sea of Thieves: Set Sail for Adventure with Cap'n Andy!
- Andy appoints himself captain and spends all his time in the cabin drinking rum while Luke and Ellen do all the work.Ellen: Andy, are you gonna help us?
Andy: What are you doing in my office?
Ellen: Are you gonna help us?
Andy: Get out of my office! Knock, and then come in.
[Ellen huffs indignantly and her character leaves the cabin]
Ellen: Knock. Knock.
Andy: Come in Bosun Ellen. What can I help you with?
Ellen: Can you come and help us sail the ship?
Andy: Well, I'm the captain, so I'm supposed to delegate.
- This causes a bit of an argument, which Luke spies an opening to exploit:Andy: I dunno if you saw my schedule; 7 to 8pm is grog time.
Ellen: Well, it's 9pm now, Andy.
Andy: Fine! Alright, fine! I'm coming out! Fine, I'm gonna help!
Andy: What is it? God, this is the neediest crew I've ever been affiliated with. What is the problem?
Luke: Captain, I just want you to know that I've always respected your grog time and I respect your leadership.
Ellen: Aw, you are such a suck-up!
Andy: Good! See, Bosun Ellen? You can learn a lot from... Helmsman Westaway.
Luke: I'll make midshipman at this rate!
Andy: Actually, I'm promoting you to first mate.
Ellen: Aww, mate! What?!
- Andy appoints himself captain and spends all his time in the cabin drinking rum while Luke and Ellen do all the work.
- Forza 7: We Drive Elton John's Car:
Andy: Elton John is the Jaguar XJ220 of people, though.
- At one point, Mike expresses disbelief that anyone ever buys cars like the Jaguar XJ220 (the "Elton John's Car" in the title) for road use, because they're just so ludicrously powerful and must be a nightmare to operate.
Mike: I suppose, yeah.
Andy: He's like a sleek, overpowered machine.
Mike: [laughs] Those are not words I would have necessarily used to describe Elton John. But he is an excellent musician.
Andy: A sleek, overpowered musician.
Andy: That's the traditional Ferrari livery, the shark...you say 'Ferrari' and people's minds immediately go to 'shark car'.
- Andy trolls Mike by making him drive a silver Ferrari F-158 F1 with shark eyes and teeth drawn on the front.
Mike: No they don't!
Andy: Yeah they do.
Mike: They go to rosso corsa! Those amazing, evocative reds.
Andy: What...? I dunno what you're talking about.
Andy: I think Mike's had a stroke... he's saying weird stuff...
- Andy then points out the hypocrisy of Mike griping about racing in a car with silly paintwork when he's designed his driver to wear a ludicrously garish pink and blue driving suit:
- Pixar Rush: Finding Dory: They spend their time in-game being outrun by canon characters, including Dory herself.Andy: DAMN YOU, ELLEN DEGENERES!
- Middle-earth: Shadow of War: Jane gets very intense about listening to the backstory.Mike: This place looks nice. Can't we just live here?
Jane: Shh. Listening to story now.
Andy: You know what the story is. The—
Andy: ... fictional—
Andy: elves of...
Jane: Shh. Swear to God, Andy. This is important.
- She then quickly drops it when Mike points out that the story bits were already in the trailer.
- FIFA 17 Story Campaign: The beginning of the story mode is set at a junior football league game the protagonist is playing in as a child, and at one point he gets a penalty. Mike and Andy set it up as a major power kick that he'll absolutely bury into the back of the net... only to proceed to do the most hilariously wimpy penalty kick ever seen. To the extent that after the Time Skip to when the protagonist is beginning his career as a pro, Mike and Andy act as if the other characters still keep bringing up his ludicrously terrible childhood penalty.
- Overwatch Halloween 2016: Jane reminds Mike as Soldier: 76 that he can heal. Mike is absolutely baffled by this revelation. Then, in the world's most nonchalant voice...Mike: Oh yeah, RB. Fancy that.
Jane and Andy: [dies]
- Overwatch Halloween 2017:
Andy: Why doesn't he just... sod off?
- Andy delivers this devastating burn to the villain of the piece:
- Jane seemingly doesn't know Ana can heal her teammates by shooting them. This crosses into Hypocritical Humor considering she spends a lot of time reminding Mike that Soldier: 76 can heal in reference to last year's fiasco.
- Super Mario Odyssey Minigames: MARIO ODYSSEY-ATHLON: The two Xtra leads are competing in each minigame they attempt. When Ellen has to deal with a more difficult challenge in the "reassemble a picture of Mario's face" minigame because Luke won the first round on his turn, and manages a two-point victory anyway, Ellen immediately becomes completely incoherent with joy for several seconds.
- Mike and Andy play the Not a Hero DLC for Resident Evil 7 and repeatedly note Chris Redfield is "not a hero", he's just a professional. A professional who has a Heroic Build, rappels down from a helicopter, makes last-second escapes from danger and other definitely not heroic things.
- GTA Online Doomsday Heist:
Mike: I think I deselected my gun in the panic.
- Part one:
Jane: Don't get up! Honestly! Play dead, you could get out of here alive!Jane: Oh. Were we not supposed to escape in the ambulance at all?Jane: much later, through gales of laughter Why are we in the ambulance again?! We were supposed to be back at the coroner's! We were supposed to be evac'd by Andy [in his very powerful, very fast attack chopper]! This is a disaster!Andy: I think I was meant to get the helicopter much faster than I actually did...Jane: No, no, don't blame yourself. We're idiots.Jane: I can't believe we've just gone on a scenic Ambulance road trip.
- Snack-tical maneuvers.
Mike: I've got bad news about the uniform, though...
- In part two, after the first time went wrong due to Jane and Andy not being counted as part of the heisting team, they restart and appoint both Jane and Andy as Mike's bodyguards. This gives him control over their outfits, a power he abuses.
Jane: Oh no, I'm wearing a sports...a sports garment. And now I'm a cowboy.
- The second run dissolves into absolute chaos with a guy dressed as the Joker killing them and stealing their Deloreans and a fighter jet strafing them.Jane: I'm trying to drive erratically, but it's no more or less erratic than I usually drive.
- During the Avenger theft, Andy starts discussing Red Dead Redemption II because it's from the same developer.Andy: Don't you think that this whole mission would be better if we were on horses, and...
Mike: Well, no.
Andy: ...instead of trying to steal a plane we were trying to steal a big flying horse?
Mike: I mean, yes...
- Starpoint Gemini Warlords:
Andy: [On being informed that locating Exul Harcrow from the wreckage of the Icarus is a priority] You don't have to tell us, mate.
- The Ox Box crew are very devoted to Exul Harcrow, captain of the Icarus, in large part due to his cool name.
- Kerbal Space Program:Jane: I think your rocket won't launch because it's got no brains [no control module]. It's just a heap of dynamite on the launch pad.Mike: External command module?Jane: I couldn't fix that rocket Mike, I can't even begin to tell you what's wrong with it, aside from the obvious visual problems...Jane: Oh, it's a family! It's an entire family of Kerbal astronauts... (They don't make it back. Mike shot them out of the Solar System and they catch fire on re-entry nearly a hundred years later).Jane: Pilots love that stuff. Only the engineer and scientist can appreciate how doomed they are. Because, you haven't fitted any sort of recovery vehicle. How are they getting back to Earth?Mike: Well, I haven't told them about that yet...
- When handing control over to Jane after his... explosive attempt, Mike snarkily brings up Jane's "degrees in this sort of thing" as a reason for any advantage over him. Jane snaps back that it's actually because she simply played the tutorial.
- Battlefield 1:Jane: I just got fully cannoned in the face by a tank... Oh, but the medic's brought me back! [beat]. That's an incredibly talented medic, if he can save me from a tank shelling.
- Train Sim World: Founder's Edition:
Andy: No, come on, this is the most boring...
- Andy is not thrilled by Mike's first choice of mission, which involves delays on the London-Reading line at Christmas due to engineering works at Paddington Station.
Jane: People have got to get home for Christmas!
Mike: Look, Andy! It's the glittering streets of Slough!
Andy: [Reading the subtitles] Paddington's been closed due to enginnnnnnnuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh...
Andy: You had one job!
- Mere moments after gloating about what an awesome driver he is, Mike manages to lock himself out of his own train. While it's moving, very slowly, away from the platform.
- And then in the next mission, which requires him to first commute by train to reach London Paddington in order to begin, he then somehow manages to fall out of the train. Mike Channell: Pride of Great Western Railway.
Andy: "Let's play Train Simulator," says Mike.
- After choosing the "Westworld" map (which, in the game, actually involves driving a passenger train from London Paddington to the west counties), Andy keeps breaking into Fauxlosophic Narration about the nature of humanity, Westworld-style.
- The team clearly do not consider Train Simulator to be one of the more exciting games they've ever played.
Jane: "It'll be fun! You all like trains." And we're like "No, Mike, we hate trains."
Mike: This is the greatest deployment of Unreal Engine 4 that I've ever seen.
- Upon (finally) reaching London Paddington, the crew spend several minutes trying to find all the cafes and shops that they recognise from the actual station. Upon seeing that the developers have faithfully included the Upper Crust that can be found there, the team sound more excited than we've heard them throughout the entire rest of the game.
- The Elder Scrolls Online
Luke: [after Mike attacks a rude NPC upon Luke's suggestion] The thing is I always do Let's Plays with Ellen, Andy, or Jane and they never ever do what I suggest because they're bad ideas.
- Luke and Mike is probably not a great pair to play games as Mike is the one person who is all too happy to comply with Luke's suggestions.
- A Way Out has Andy (playing Leo) and Jane (playing Vincent).
Andy:"They're fine! They're going away to live on a farm where they can play and arrest people all day"
- While driving the car, Jane asks if Andy is killing police officers. Andy, while shotgunning them through their windshields, returns with the worst case of Brutal Honesty, until Jane requests Andy to lie to her.
Andy: The baby's trying to find A Way Out.
- While playing basketball, Andy turns the normally heartwarming idea of a man playing basketball with his young son into trolling the kid's lack of zone defense.
- Andy's idea of interrogation is to shoot a man five times in the spine.
- While chasing a man through a construction site, Jane decides to play the Yackety Sax to mimic the Scooby-Doo chase scenes.
- When the camera cuts to Carol going into labor.
Jane: This guy's offering me porn!Andy: All right!
- When trying to make change, Jane goes to a newsstand to break some of her bills, and asks the stand owner what he would recommend.
- Sea of ThievesJane: There'd better be damned chickens on Chicken Isle. It's not just a name...Smash Cut to Andy: You're telling me there are no chickens on Chicken Island.Jane: AH! Skeleton! There's skeletons on Chicken Isle!Andy: It was a trap!
- The description of their play of Dishonored DLC:Andy takes the stealthy route, Jane kills when necessary and Mike is a whirling tornado of clumsy murder.
- Dishonored 2
Andy: We're gonna try a couple of different ways at this level. I'm going to be playing the correct way, that is stealthily and nonlethally. Mike will be doing what Mike usually does, which involves a massive body count and lots of explosions.
- This line from Andy in the Clockwork Mansion:
Andy: The Heart approves! Thank you heart of my dead mother that I'm carrying around for...some reason.
- Mike being very dedicated to kill the target by throwing a highly flammable bottle of whale oil at his face. After carrying it with a great deal of effort to the confrontation with him, Mike finds more or less a pile of them right there.
- Andy using the Heart to read some unconscious people's memories. While he still refuses to kill them, when their memories turn out to be pretty vile (one having murdered a servant and got away with it, and the other forcing a dog into a dog fight where it got torn to shreds), he power bombs them into a bookcase.
Andy: I'm going to resmoke monster and then back. And then smoke monster you (rips apart robot). See now the one thing you didn't plan for, Jindosh, was smoke monsters.
- Both of them remarking that the guy they've come to save had pressure plates to lower the walls keeping him trapped the entire time.
- Andy using 'smoke monster' as a verb.
- Dishonored: Death of the Outsider
Andy: He's not very observant. Hence why this is happening (steals his face).
- Jane and Andy seem unusually enthusiastic about one of Billie's powers being the ability to steal a person's face and use it at every opportunity.
- The group land right besides a person...who doesn't acknowledge them at all, despite a wanted poster of their character directly behind them.
- Unravel 2 Co-op play:
Andy: Oh my God! Mike. Andrew Ryan is an anagram of Andrew YARN.
- Andy and Mike note with amusement that the opening the game, involving Yarny somewhat-improbably piloting a boat towards an island with a lighthouse, calls to mind the opening of Bioshock. Which leads Andy to this explosive revelation:
[Mike cracks up]
Andy: This thing goes deeper than we could have ever imagined!
- Let's Play No Man's Sky Next on Xbox One
- Jane is less than impressed by the loose ways antimatter is handled.
- Just Cause 4 Gameplay: EXTREME FUNFAIR, ROCKET COWS, TORNADO CHAOS - "They're fine":
- You did read that title, right?
- Their experiments at improving a funfair with rockets and grappling hooks. The Ferris wheel poses certain issues, however, because when a rocket is applied to an individual cart, it just spins wildly in place rather than speeding up the rotation.Luke: (looking at the corpse of their first experimental subject, dangling from a Ferris wheel cart) Yeah, she's fine.
- Luke wondering how many rockets he can apply to the Ferris wheel struts in order to avoid "half measures" manages to provoke muffled laughter from someone offscreen, something that usually doesn't happen in Oxbox/Oxtra gameplay videos.
- While Rico is on a jet-propelled carnival ride, Ellen comes to a valuable conclusion:Ellen: Can't do this in GTA.
- "Ponies! Let's put rockets on their butts!" - Luke Westaway, upon spotting a carousel
- Luke then proclaims the rocket carousel to be a "good ride", even though there is clearly a corpse sitting right in front of it.
- Luke on morality:Luke: Ellen, [steals someone's motorbike] don't ever doubt that we're the good guys.
- At a couple of points Ellen's Corpsing begins to move into pitches that only dogs and bats can hear.
- After a while spent rigging up the stolen bike with balloons and rockets, Rico spends more time ragdolling down to the ocean than he actually does flying it.
- Luke's balloon arrangement on a stolen car apparently "feels tactical".
- "This game is all about nuance, Ellen." (spins car in midair)
- When they find a way to frisbee the car through the air, Luke pops the balloons and spins it to the ground. Amazingly, it doesn't explode on contact.
- "There's cows!" "COWS?!"
- Just...why?Luke: (watching a cow spinning wildly through the air, laughing so hard he can barely speak clearly) We're heroes of the revolution.
- "[Blowing shit up] takes a little while in these games, because they're very realistic, they're not like Hollywood films" - Ellen Rose, world champion liar
- Luke keeps attempting to ride on things that are about to explode.
- They attempt to send an alpaca to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism.
- After hijacking a blimp and sticking rockets to the side, they take a moment to admire the Scenery Porn while the blimp is listing dangerously to one side.
- Upon finding some destructible barrels, Luke wonders if there's a cow around that he can attach them to.
- The Lego Movie 2:
- We open with a very on-topic slap fight between their two Emmets, followed by Luke randomly attacking people and cars "for the greater good".
- Luke can't remember much of the movie, so he refers to Lucy/Wyldstyle as "Nightwing", "Night Fury", "Switchblade", "Nightstar", "Luckdragon" and a bunch of other stuff that sounds like either rejected Warrior Cats names or accepted 90s comic character names. When he comes up with "Switchblade" it actually erases the name "Wyldstyle" from Ellen's brain as well!
- Luke tries the jumping platform:Luke: Nothing stops Switchblade! Hyah! [misses]
- When he does get up and Ellen is trying to get up, Luke keeps posing for the camera as though Lucy is taking a selfie with another Lucy bouncing in the background.
- The free-roam Wasteland makes them realise this part is Lego Fallout, and Ellen speculates on Lego power armour.
- "Buttslam! Buttslam! I'm helping! Buttslam!" - Luke Westaway
- When they get the Ultrakatty, Ellen proclaims it "everything [she's] ever dreamed of".
- Luke gets a generator blueprint and just slaps it in a random place rather than the clearly marked outline.
- Ultrakatty has not helped with Luke's burgeoning teamkill tendencies.Luke: Yeah, you better run, civilians!
- Luke gets a bit lost.Luke: I completely understand what we're doing, but please explain for the viewers at home.
- It's important to be proud of your accomplishments.Luke: I'm doing it Ellen! I'm platforming!
- Ellen roleplays.Ellen: I'm choosing to build from an awkward angle, because that's Emmet, really.
- Luke manages to identify a green thing that's sucking the clouds out of the sky as "an elephant".
- Ellen is concerned that the sprinkler is used for a specific fire because it looks like an electrical fire, which you shouldn't put out with water.
- Luke compares the Colossus Climb to "like Shadow of the Colossus except we're goodies".
- Team Sonic Racing:
- Luke has apparently not taken in much Boom-era Sonic, so there's a bit of a digression on the Roger Craig Smith Sonic voice being insufficiently radical.
- Luke delivers a PSA:Luke: Kids, if a stranger ever tells you, 'Get in my spaceship, and we'll go to Planet'-[Big the Cat appears onscreen] WHAT THE HELL?!
- Big the Cat's design causes discussion to go weird places.Ellen: He's like Donald Duck; they're related, so-
Luke: There's an honesty to Donald Duck; he doesn't want to wear trousers, and so he doesn't. But Big...what's the belt holding up?
- Their attempt to figure out the controls leaves Luke sitting on the starting line for several seconds.
- The in-game chatter is interesting:Ellen: Did Sonic just say 'don't text and drive'?
Luke: Well, you shouldn't!
Luke: "Make way or I'll make it for you" is quite a good line.
- Luke finds his new favourite place.Luke: Oh my God, Whale Lagoon.
- Luke's utter failure to sell world-weariness.Luke: It's easy for you, with your strong acceleration. But me, Knuckles, I'm a Power type - YEAH WHALES!
- Ellen spends a lot of the video communicating in expressive but incoherent messages, resembling a cross between baby-talk and panicking. Particularly when she falls off, which happens frequently.
- Luke occasionally insists that Sonic should just get out of the car and beat everyone on foot.
- Luke is punished for his hubris:Luke: Now to win the race easily woo! Oh no I drove off the side! Aaaaaagh no I got sawed in half!
- When Knuckles yells "Not as planned!" out of nowhere, Luke mentions that that's just what life is like for Knuckles.
- Luke tries for a Theme Music Power-Up by singing about "running around at the speed of sound" at critical moments.
- Ellen is punished for her hubris.Ellen: Eat my dust, Big - OH NO! [falls off track]
- Sonic, while bouncing, goes "Haha, boing!" This prompts Ellen to almost die laughing.
- Luke decides not to play in multiplayer as Eggman on the robust grounds that "his car looks daft".
Let's Play - Hitman
- The running gags in the Hitman (2016) videos: one where Andy will always refer the game as Hitman No Subtitle, one where the players will make incredibly awkward and unconvincing in-character statements, and one where Andy will make a Bond One-Liner at every opportunity.
- Whenever playing on the Morocco map, there will always be comments on the amazing bead curtain physics.
- Hitman (2016) Paris:
- Andy giving a spoof press conference to an indifferent in-game reporter.
- Andy momentarily forgets that he's attending a fashion show and thinks it might be a phone launch event.
- Mike encounters his target making a very old and very bad pun:
"Yes, non-target kill, but he was a bad man, I'm...fairly sure..."
- Andy specifies that he's hiding an unconscious NPC in an extremely nice seventeenth-century armoire.
- Mike on morality:
"I mean, you've got fiber wire, but why not the indignity of a toilet drowning, is what I always say..."
- Jane's unnervingly specific philosophy of life:
[Tosses body over balcony] "That seemed to go okay!" [BODY FOUND]
- Mike tempts fate once too often:
- Mike dangles from a ledge:
"When did you lose your sense of joy, Dalia?"
- Andy has trouble getting Dalia Margolis to pay attention to the fireworks.
"Did you guys hear about the terrible accident? Dalia fell off the balcony onto Viktor. It was very unlikely."
- Andy managing to, completely accidentally, kill both his targets by shoving one off the balcony onto the other.
- Mike killing the Chef elusive target by tossing a remote detonated charge into a small crowd, and somehow managing to blow up his target and only his target, without being detected, before making a quick getaway, all in under two minutes.
- Andy is more than a bit annoyed that it worked, and ultimately scores less than Mike, while Jane failed the hit entirely.
- Hitman (2016) Sapienza:
"Hello? Flower delivery? Singing telegram? I'm selling these fine leather jackets? I found your cat?" [door opens] "Ah, that works." [punches the guy opening the door]
- When trying to get someone to open the door, Andy makes several announcements:
"Explosive golf ball. Can you imagine a world where I don't pick up the explosive golf ball?"
- Mike rings the doorbell to the safe house only to have the key to it. And inside he finds one of his true loves.
Mike: This is going to be brilliant! Explode, please explode. I want to see him explode so hard.
- And he gets positively giddy when he uses it to kill Silvio Caruso. Especially as the explosion sends him flying across the yard.
- Mike commenting the simple attire that the security guards wear, feeling that it looks like something from Right Said Fred.
- Mike getting distracted by the woodchipper and his idea of treating himself. To his credit, he does seem to struggle with the temptation of putting bodies through the woodchipper for about three seconds before giving in. He then proceeds to position 47 in front of the chute.
- Jane tries to tail the detective, in her words, discreetly so she can knock him out in a more private place when she accidentally outpaces the detective who notices him immediately and become suspicious. As a result, Jane just punches him in the gut, snaps his neck, and takes his disguise.
- To kill Francesca De Santis, both Andy and Jane engage in subterfuge, disguising themselves as someone set to meet with her, and, in general, kill her in sneaky ways. Mike, on the other hand, just shoots her. While escaping in Combat, he hides from a guard by just jumping behind a lamp that only hides his head. Somehow, this manages to actually work, much to his own surprise.
- Jane comparing the underground lab to that from Umbrella Corporation and then later, a Bond villain.
- Doing the Escalation mission, which has a number of restrictions including that knocking anybody out is an insta-fail, Mike continually struggles with the temptation to do his usual mayhem. He ends up doing an unusually efficient and stealthy job up until literally the last moment, when instead of getting in the getaway car and driving off he succumbs to the temptation to throw a heavy object at an innocent passerby for laughs. The passerby is knocked out, causing an insta-fail, and Mike has to do the whole mission over.
- During the Landslide mission, Jane kills Marco by pushing him off the church tower, expecting it to simply be a normal Disney Villain Death...only to be shocked by what actually happens. She's then befuddled somehow no one has noticed the church now has a dead guy impaled on top of it.
- Hitman (2016) Morocco:
"That's probably too many people, isn't it. Probably 20 or 30 people is too many witnesses."
- Andy's increasing frustration with incessant tailing.
(Staring at the scenery) "I'm really interested in these plates, definitely interested in these plates. ISOLATE YOURSELF!"
(In disguise) "Hey guys, I put up that one poster I had left. Sorry it took so long; I wanted to wander around for some reason and not isolate myself...oh God, more tailing?!"
"I was kind of hoping for...less tailing after that initial tailing."
"I'm really starting to rethink my Hitman choices right now."
(Upon arriving and being told to go and listen to the general) "Let me guess: he wants us to go and tail someone, around the city."
"Now I've not actually been to Morocco, but I've been to the Morocco pavilion at Epcot, so I can tell you that this is extremely accurate! Uh, I don't know if it's accurate. It's very nice, though."
- Andy being jet-setting and cosmopolitan.
"Don't smoke next to exploding barrels! Are you aware of how dangerous this is? This is a videogame, for pity's sake!"
- Mike expects a certain measure of Genre Savvy from these guards.
"Moose are Swedish, so it's kind of ironic, probably. Not really a satire on banking as much as...a moose, but..."
- Mike nailing a guard right in the mouth with a pool ball.
- After that Mike knocks out a guard only to realize that there was another one standing inside him,.
- Jane tries to find symbolism in killing a corrupt Swedish banker with a fiberglass moose.
"Alright done! Oh wait I should say something, uh clever... They'll print anything these day- oh wait someone's coming in"
- Andy after throwing the general into the printing press.
"If you were a Swedish embassy, where would you be?"
- Andy applies Logic to his problem:
"Just punch him in the butt and snap his neck. Classy. I am just class all the way. Who says I can't make the most of an opportunity? That was a great opportunity to...punch him in the butt...and snap his neck."
- Andy concludes that the janitor he's just knocked unconscious would probably want to be put in the bin, out of visibility.
- Jane, on a failed silent attack:
"I guess there was...Nor-way he could have survived that? Oh wait, he's Swedish. [Sound-Effect Bleep]."
- While Jane and Andy managed to kill the general in decently stealthy ways, Mike...just marches through his compound like Rambo until he sees the guy and guns him down once his initial attempt at stealth fails. Predictably he doesn't gets a zero points for the level.
- Andy's one-liner falls nearly as flat as the target just did:
"You can stop protesting, I killed him, I mean someone killed him, I mean it was an accident."
- Mike pauses in the midst of his escape to photobomb a tourist.
- Andy calming the protesters
- Hitman (2016) Bangkok:
"So many stairs. I thought this was supposed to be a luxury hotel! Where's the stairlift? Or...someone, carry me."
- Having stolen a unique costume from a drummer as part of the first assassination, Andy goes out of his way to retain it as long as possible, even going back to get it after the second assassination.
- Mike promises the hotel a lot of stars on Tripadvisor.
- All the badly planned jumping through windows.
- Andy expects the staff to be ridiculously helpful.
"Look. You're ending up in the freezer. Make this easy on both of us. Climb in there yourself."
"Jam it into the cake, and then...into his eye sockets, or something."
- Mike is extremely impressed when 47 knocks someone out with an over-the-shoulder pool ball lob.
- Jane isn't sure how getting numbers for the top of a birthday cake connects to killing the birthday boy.
"I guess drumming and hitmanning are similar? Lots of hitting things with sticks? ...It's a magic drumming outfit. And then later, when I change out of it, I'll still be able to drum! It turns out that the drumming was inside me all along."
- Andy trying to figure out how 47 is an inexplicably brilliant drummer.
NPC: Eugh. I hate insects.
- Mike maintains his cover:
Mike: Yeah, so do I. It's why I got this job, you idiot.
"Five stars for cleanliness, five stars for location, five stars for people isolating themselves when I needed to murder them. That was particularly appreciated.
- Jane is appalled by the birthday song being performed by the guests.
- Mike's assassination plan for Ken Morgan: hit him in the head with a coconut, and then stab him. The first part works perfectly, but because he flings the knife at the unconscious figure, he has to use a neck-snap for the second part.
- Andy compliments the hotel's corpse-disposal staff.
- Mike executes the entire second half of his mission without changing out of his exterminator outfit. It's very conspicuous.
- Andy tries and fails to do a horror-movie jump scare with an axe and just decides to hit his target with it.
- Andy wipes the security tapes by opening the door, shooting the tapes, and closing the door again. It works.
- Jane's exit strategy is to dive into the water, swim to the temple in the background, and ask for sanctuary.
- Andy reviews the hotel:
- Andy declaring himself, in his English accent, to be "baller AF".
- Mike is pleased to, for once, have a score that is not zero.
- Hitman (2016) Colorado:
Andy: We have to kill four people this time, which I think, technically, qualifies as a spree.
- Andy's introduction.
"We've got to kill four people, which, given that normally when I kill one I end up having to escape in a hail of gunfire, is probably going to be quite challenging."
- Mike, master of stealth:
- Jane semi-accidentally killing someone with a hay baler.
- Andy misidentifying a length of power cord on the technician outfit as a whip, and concluding he's an Indiana Jones technician.
- Mike spontaneously deciding to murder a mechanic just by dropping the car he's repairing on him.
Guard: Did you see who threw that?
- Andy picks the most appropriate time to knock a guard unconscious.
Andy: (knocks him out with a flung brick) Did you see who threw THAT?
"I just live here now. This is my life. Well, 47, this is how it ends: a glorious career cut short. Just forward my mail to me here in this crate, Diana."
- Andy has to take out several guards carefully to set up an accidental kill...only to realize his target left while he was setting up. He then has to wait for a long time for her to come back, which he spends making up Bond One Liners.
- Jane failing to think up a Bond One-Liner after killing one target with a battering ram.
- Jane hiding in a box to avoid guards.
"I reckon that was pretty stealthy, for me. I mean, it involved an explosion, but nobody is shooting at me..."
- "Damn you and your basic security precautions, Sean Rose!"
- Jane giving up on waiting for Sean Rose to take his watch off and just stabbing him with a lethal syringe.
- Mike being subtle.
Mike: (to a smouldering corpse) You silly man.
- Mike's repeated failures to blow up his next target, including loosening the valve on a container of flammable gas (someone else explodes it), planting a proximity mine (which goes off way prematurely), and loosening the gas valve on an oven (it actually explodes much later, while he's trying to carry out a completely different hit).
"Time for the Scarecrow Murderer to strike! [Evil Laugh] ...I've decided to just embrace it, I think."
- Jane trying to annoy Penelope Graves into talking to her.
- Andy deciding that after putting on the scarecrow disguise, 47 has clearly become a horror movie Serial Killer, complete with editing in some creepy music. While a successful plan, this earns him a 40-minute period just hanging from a pole pretending to be a scarecrow.
"I think, probably, time to surrender the scarecrow costume, 47. I know you love it, but it is...the most conspicuous thing in the world."
Andy: That mask is a bit serial killer-y. And I just spent 40 minutes dressed as a scarecrow murdering people in an orchard.
- Later, when Andy first meets masked target Ezra Berg.
"That's, uh, a sh*t way to go, I want to say?"
- Jane finally comes up with a Bond One-Liner at the slurry pit.
"I mean, the stealth run was off the cards as soon as I baled that dude."
- Jane on the importance of forward planning:
- Mike tries to come up with an elaborate Batman Gambit to get into a locked room, only for his target to come along and open the door for him.
- Jane getting irate at 47 for not properly knocking out his targets despite the fact that she's controlling him.
- Jane manages another accidental kill because she neglected to put away her garotte.
- Both Andy and Mike are a bit upset about needing Sean Rose's face for the biometrics, given that there's not necessarily much of it left after they blew him up in different ways.
- Andy getting a bit sarcastic about being told to "locate exit" when the exit is clearly a whole four feet away.
- Hitman (2016) Japan:
"Now, unfortunately, I've not been allowed to bring a gun, which is going to make it extremely difficult to kill my usual nineteen people..."
- Both Andy and Jane being distracted from the mission by the setting: Andy taking a brief holiday in his room, and Jane pausing to observe the admittedly incredible view. Mike is the only one to remain mostly on target...but he does get distracted later on by how much of a mess one of his targets made when she fell over a balcony (with some help).
- All three of them are amazed by the bathrooms: Andy and Mike are distracted by the automatic toilet lid, while Jane considers the stealing potential inherent to the array of shampoos and soaps.
- Mike is nothing if not honest about his typical strategy:
"Ooh, doctors." [hits one in the face with an improvised throwing weapon] "My diagnosis is cowboy bust to the head."
- Andy gets medical:
[Having stolen one's costume] "I'm a doctor now. Aren't you proud of me, mum."
"That's convenient, follow the guy in the big cowboy hat...we all know that's the uniform of a Texan?"
- Mike, having stolen a racing costume from a corpse in the morgue, geeks out about how cool he looks.
- Jane on social stereotyping:
"We weren't allowed to bring any weapons or anything, so I've mostly been using this cowboy bust as a distraction, melee weapon, confidant...it's a lot more practical help than Diana, right Diana?"
- Andy's multipurpose cowboy bust:
"Hi! Health inspector. This is for coughing in the soup."
- After one of the chefs coughs, Andy chokes him out:
"This is the lady I'm assigned to bump off! As hospital director, I direct you to be dead."
- Jane grabs a katana at random on the grounds that it looks badass.
- Mike on authority:
"Change the temperature, or disconnect it from the life support system..." (47 throws it bluntly into the garbage) "...wow, okay, or just f**k it into the bin, 47, that works."
- "Now to deal with Captain I-Live-Inside-A-Dead-Spider-Machine."
- Andy reaches the rare right-sided heart:
"See, that was painless! ...for me."
- Jane on priorities:
- Hitman (2016) BEWARE THE VAMPIRE MAGICIAN
Guard: "There's someone goofing around!"Mike (laughing the whole time): "Goofing around? ... I am 100% not goofing around."Later guard: "Someone's causing a public commotion."Andy (while Mike is laughing in the background): "Someone's up to shenanigans...in the attic."Mike (while finishing the second level of the escalation): "Oh man, all you guys have no idea what I've been up to. You would not BELIEVE what I've been up to; the shenanigans, the public commotion..."Andy: "The tomfoolery..."Mike: "The hijinks..."Andy: "Just don't go in the attic, I would say."
- Mike and Andy run into some guards who have some very specific views of their actions...
- Hitman (2016): Elusive Target #24
- Mike gets ridiculously excited about the prospect of throwing a meat cleaver into the target's head from a distance.
- Not now, Lewis Thomson!note
- Hitman (2016) Mario and Luigi Contract:
- Andy concludes, from Luigi's The Ramones T-shirt, that he is the Cool One, like Andy's always said.
- When they're hit by a help tip early on, they conclude that the update meant it thought they didn't know what they were doing.Mike: I mean, I don't, but...
- They hatch, but sadly don't attempt, a plan where Agent 47 would spin on the spot and drill into the ground to get to Mario.
- Things near instantly go horribly wrong when Mike chokes out a guard...and Mario sees it, runs off, and makes it all the way to some guards. This ends with him choking Mario out in broad daylight with everyone watching him, stealing his outfit, and rushing off to kill Luigi while being chased by guards who eventually catch him. Both of the guards he kills during this is via Groin Attack.
- Everyone gets a bit irritated by Mike constantly crouch-walking.
- "I'm not that cruel," says Mike, less than a minute before randomly breaking some dude's neck for no reason.
- Hitman (2016) 1001 Moroccan Nights Contract
- The contract requires the player to kill numerous targets while dressed as the fortune teller. It is noted that the fortune teller's costume makes Agent 47 look a little like a genie. Naturally, this leads to Andy following one of the targets around while spinning in circles singing "You Ain't Never Had A Friend Like Me".
- Talk of genies turns to talk of Wishmaster, and the crew decide to send Agent 47 on the full Jackass Genie route by interpreting every kill he makes as fulfilling the target's wish in as cruelly ironic a fashion as possible. This quickly hits a snag when they are initially unable to think of a wish that someone would make which would lead the genie to blow them up. They eventually go with "I wish I were hotter" as opposed to Jane's suggestion of "I wish I was on fire".
- Other notable "wishes" include "I wish I had a sharper intellect", "I wish I could get the point" (got stabbed), "I wish I had a drink" (got beaned in the face with a can of soda and his neck snapped), "I wish I had a piece of metal in my head" and "I wish I would go down in history and be remembered as someone who got shot in the head by a genie" (got shot in the head by a genie).
- This exchange:Andy: Who's shooting me and why?!
Jane: Well, all your crimes, obviously.
Andy: I mean obviously my crimes.
- [Getting shot to ribbons by a multitude of enemies] "It's fine, you don't understand that it's fine."
- "Wishmaster! Let this be a lesson to AAAAAAALLLLLL of you! Don't... make wishes. Or you'll end up like those people. Shouldn't stop to gloat."
- Hitman (2016) Patient Zero'' The Source:
Mike: Well that was going really well until it ceased...to go...well.
- Andy and Jane choose sensible suits for 47 on their mission. Mike opts...the clown outfit.
- Mike tries to covertly take out two guards to get to the room they're guarding...only to run straight into the entire cult. This leads to him being hunted and hiding in a closet...then shot at and having to come out to beat up a guard. This happens again, leading to a lot of murders.
Andy: There's some very flammable vodka and a ritual that involves fire. So if you're doing the Hitman maths with me along at home you can see that adds up to spectacular murder.
- Andy ending up waiting forever for the secondary target to drink poison and being annoyed having to listen to the lecture about death happening in the background. He then has to wait forever again for the cult leader to return to the fire ritual to die.
- Andy's reaction to overhearing about the opportunity for the fire accident kill, complete with a graphic.
- Jane deciding death by fire extinguisher counts as a Death by Irony for the evil cult leader performing a fire ritual...She then realizes that hitting him in the head with a fire extinguisher is nonlethal, so she just throws him down a staircase.
- Mike kills the secondary target by throwing a knife at her while she's taking a selfie. He then decides to go back to get his clown outfit even though he could easily escape just fine, which results in him escaping in a hail of gunfire.
- Andy realizing he forgot to make a good Bond One-Liner for the cult leader.
- Hitman (2016) Patient Zero The Author:
Mike: Oh well I know how Andy's going to be doing this then.Jump Cut to Andy finding the setAndy: Whoa! What the hell is going on there! Oh my God I need that costume!
- Mike sees the slasher photo set...
Andy: It's fine 47, let it fuel your murder rage.
- Andy waiting for the opportunity to murder the target at his book reading...and commenting the book is so awful murdering him will be doing the literary world a favor.
- Andy does the pen kill... and is promptly horrified by how brutal it was.
- Andy commenting that he takes back saying 47 had fully become a horror movie Serial Killer back in Colorado, given he's actually dressed as a horror movie slasher at the moment.
- Jane wants to go with the dramatic kill rather than just breaking her first target's neck and throw him into the ocean...only to find the only location available is a shallow beach she can't just throw him into. She spends several minutes dragging him around trying to drown him...which actually works and counts as an accident kill.
- Jane sets up an elaborate trap to kill the second target...only to blow it and be forced to suddenly shoot him and run for it.
- Hitman (2016) Patient Zero Final Mission:
- The subtitle given to the episode sums it all up, really:Hitman Patient Zero Final Mission: 3 Ways to Play (Inferno, Rampage, Worse Rampage)
- Mike is sad that this mission does not allow him to start as a clown.
- Andy concludes that the basis of Hokkaido security is RFID chips in the pants.Andy: It's fine, you'll be fine, I just need your trousers...That sounds weird.
- The Andy Hitman Guarantee:Andy: Maximum comfort for all unconscious guards wherever possible.
- Mike is momentarily distracted by how brutal the cleaver-throw kill actually is.Mike: Right. Okay. Off to a strong start. [Alert goes from "Compromised" to "Hunted".] Uh-oh.
- Jane starts getting smug that she's managed to avoid fatalities so far, only to suddenly remember that there are eight infectees to deal with.Jane: No fatalities! I mean, eight lethal infected people, so eight fatalities, but you can't pin them on me, Diana!
- Mike finds his new favourite thing ever: a bin of highly corrosive chemicals. He sounds like a child on Christmas when he realises he could use it for corpse disposal.
- The "Infected" counter ticks up pretty quickly for everyone but Andy.Mike: It's like a zombie movie! This is Hitman crossed with zombies - this is awesome.
- Mike's moral objection to the clumsiness of the corpse disposal staff, which he expresses through headshot.
- Jane's I Did What I Had to Do speech about her next objective being to kill 24 infected people.Jane: I do this with a heavy heart and a clean conscience, because you're all doomed.
- Since the Godzilla Threshold has been crossed, 47's mission shifts away from "stealth elimination of 1-4 targets" and over to "It's the Only Way to Be Sure". Jane's starting approach to this is to, while clad in a hazmat suit, plod around like a horror movie monster, meticulously gunning down everyone in her path, while complaining about how busy she is and if the virus would pretty please stop infecting more people.
- You'd think Mike would be tailor-made for this sort of indiscriminate mayhem. Nope, he ends up with more infected than the other twonote , to the point where he has dozens of targetsnote and he starts starts sounding a bit miffed with all the mass murder he has to do. Especially since he's forced to rely on melee and guns.
- Mike's breaching charge proves to have a blast radius of about six inches.Mike: That was rubbish. What is even the point of a remote breaching charge? [barges through the door and shoots both primary targets in the head]
- Jane starts referring to her instances of mass murder as "mercy sprees".Jane: [To an infected victim] This is a mercy killing. Please cooperate.
- Mike takes a momentary breather.Mike: Now let's take a moment to centre ourselves with this lovely view, and then we'll have to kill all these guys.
- The infection rate in Mike's playthrough is getting a bit excessive.Mike: Forty-seven! [weakly] That's my lucky number!
- After a bit, Mike starts getting sad about the number of people he's killing. Jane, meanwhile...Jane: I diagnose virus. I prescribe screwdriver! [flings said item into victim's head]
- Jane adopts the screwdriver as her Calling Card and dubs it "Screwy".
- "Screwdriver right in the...carotid...jugular...I'm not the doctor, you're the doctor! Well, you were the doctor..."
- Andy finds a new toy.Andy: Initiate incineration procedure?! Uh...yeah?!
- Mike concludes that he's going to be remembered as either the saviour of all mankind, or history's greatest monster, probably the latter.
- Always look on the bright side of death.Mike: Oh, even the morgue guy! At least they won't have to move him far.
- In many ways, this one serves as the perfect capstone to each of their careers: Andy gets out with minimal casualties and a Silent Assassin rating, Jane kills a bunch but the infectee counter never reaches 40, and Mike nearly depopulates the level (his previous kill record was something like 23 counting both target and non-target kills; this one had one hundred and twenty-five total casualties).
- The subtitle given to the episode sums it all up, really:
- Mike gets his clown fix in the "Corky Commotion" escalation mission, which revolves around hitting a fashion model with a baseball bat in a shower of confetti.Mike: (as Andy knocks out four guards while dressed as a clown) I've just realised that while this looks like a normal Hitman playthrough for me, this is like...horrible for you. It's torture.
- Hitman 2 Ghost Mode:
- Andy facing Mike in the game's Ghost Mode rapidly becomes Andy's worst nightmare because as he's patiently waiting for the target to isolate themselves so he can get an unnoticed kill, Mike's preferred method of execution is rushing in and axing the target to death no matter how many people may be watching, forcing Andy to use similarly unstealthy tactics in order to not lose points. Suffice to say Andy was getting increasingly salty because of this...
- However, this reckless rampaging of Mike screws him over repeatedly, as it causes him to completely fail to get unnoticed kills (in part due to constantly being in combat) and keep losing points due to nontarget murders while Andy isn't able to get points due to having to Mike making it very hard for him to make any unnoticed kills, resulting in it ending in a stalemate.
- Hitman 2 Perfect Crime Scene:
- Andy and Jane near instantly get distracted by how form fitting 47's wet suit is and are continually distracted it throughout the entire video.
- Jane noting that the guards on the roof somehow manage to miss the top of 47's head poking over a wall when staring right at it.
- Andy dumps chloroform into the ventilation system to knock out the target...and then hides in the same room as them, forgetting about that and losing because of it.
- After successfully killing the victim, Andy puts the gun next to her unconscious lover to try to make it look like he did it...only to then realize when all the way at the boat he needs a gun to trigger a distraction explosion to escape, and thus needs to trek all the way back to get it.
- Hitman 2 Sean Bean:
- The trio, and especially Jane, squee at meeting Sean Bean and express admiration for his face and his body of work. Jane hovers so much that the character snaps at her, and she sheepishly retreats.
- Andy spends the entirety of his playthrough carefully poisoning Sean Bean's coffee, then following him to the bathroom where he can be drowned in the toilet — and then he just beans him on the head with a blueberry muffin and snaps his neck.Andy: Whew! Do NOT go in there!
- Followed immediately by him leaving bathroom while the guards posted outside do nothing
- Mike's strategy is simplicity itself: steal an explosive device, lob it at Sean Bean's head, and leg it. It turns out that the tiny explosives are really, really destructive, and its impact on Sean Bean leads to his head slamming into the ceiling.
- Hitman 2 Silent Mike: Someone made a mission specifically for Mike: blow up four people who are standing right next to each other and run away in thirty seconds. Mike still has trouble getting more than two stars.
- Hitman 2 Mumbai Part 1:
- Jane gets into the laundry via the sewers, and devotes some effort to lamenting what this has no doubt done to 47's clothes.
- Jane is nothing if not honest about her approach:
- '"Come to Mumbai," they said. "See the sights," they said. "Wade through ankle-deep sewage," they said.'
- Andy Evaluates a Plan.Andy: So here's the foreman; what's his deal? And how cool is his outfit? Because that does factor into whether I want to dress up as him or not.
- That's not how the system works, Mike.Mike: I'm trespassing, but that's alright, because I've got a plan. I just haven't...invented it yet, is all.
- Flies, according to Jane, are "nature's quitters".
- Mike meets an old friend.Mike: An exploding barrel? Explosives? You shouldn't have!
- Andy critiques the foreman's choice of flip-flops.
- From "How to Maintain Your Cover" by Andy Farrant:Andy: Hey guys, it's me, the foreman. I've decided to leave my office. Clean...harder.
- Jane steals a bolt of cloth by accident. In full view of the shopkeep. She then decides to leave rather abruptly.
- Mike gets a "Body Found" notification for the body he's dragging, and fails to realise this for several seconds.
- Andy comments that 47, in-character as the foreman, makes solving laundry problems sound very much like murder.
- In an important advancement for Jane's Hitman skills, she has now figured out how to put a garotte or related tool away before she tries to knock someone out.
- Andy cannot think of a Bond One-Liner.
- Jane's attempt to get a distinctive outfit goes wrong when, instead of choking the guy out, she kicks him into an open sewer.
- Mumbai pt 2:
- Mike Channell, Master of Forward Planning, attempting to kill someone on the spur of the moment...leading to a target lockdown when the guy falls into the pool one storey below.Mike: Why did I do that? I thought it would be funny...
- You can't get the help these days.Andy: (having stuck the very pale 47 into the Indian artist's outfit) I mean, honestly, who would not notice? ...This guy, apparently. This guy would not notice.
- Jane putting on a prima donna routine when not permitted up the stairs.
- Mike is reduced to begging his target to walk near some explosives.
- There's no moral issue here, really.Andy: He's just talking about paying me in exposure, rather than money, so...if anyone had any problems with him about to be shot, can it, all right?
- Shortly after getting someone else to kill the target for him, Andy begins to worry whether 47 is going to get paid.
- Jane is disappointed that a cricket ball isn't a lethal weapon, although hey, at least you can now fling murder weapons at unconscious people!
- Mike is overjoyed when, after a long wait, he finally gets the chance to explode the target.
- Andy deploys a pro-level strat of throwing a brick at a dude.
- For once, Andy's assumption that Mike is just running around murdering everyone is only somewhat true, and mostly derived from Mike hitting the wrong thing and throwing an axe instead of a can of spaghetti sauce.
- Jane learns that Mumbai has a lot of people in it.
- Andy concludes that 47 is incapable of speaking except in murder puns.
- Jane attempts to kill the Maelstrom with a cleaver, only to screw up her aim and just chuck the thing under-arm.
- Andy is certain that 47 wouldn't survive the social disfavour earned by showing up to the Agency in flip-flops.
- Mike can't escape in the tuk-tuk because he doesn't have a key and all his coins ended up on the floor.
- Andy finally thinks up his laundry-kill pun at the end of the level: "You better wash out!"
- As one would expect, Andy gets five stars and a Silent Assassin rating; Mike does not.
- Mike Channell, Master of Forward Planning, attempting to kill someone on the spur of the moment...leading to a target lockdown when the guy falls into the pool one storey below.
- Hitman 2 Whittleton Creek part one:
- You know a video is going to be something special when Mike opens with an explanation for his choice of the clown outfit.
- Immediately after Jane finishes planning out how to assume the identity of a real estate agent, we cut to Mike attempting to ride on the bouncy racing car in a kids' play area and being heartbroken when that fails.
- This exchange:NPC: Unless it's a flesh-eating mutant mole, you don't need explosives.
Mike: Explosiiives, you say...
- Andy is desperate to make up some ground after accidentally playing on Casual difficulty, so he brings up how brilliant and professional half of the things he does are.
- Jane manages an entirely new kind of Accidental Murder to add to her scorecard when she chokes someone out on a river bank, and they slide into the river and disappear.Jane: If anyone's to blame, it's him.
- Andy insists that an unconscious NPC should be thanking him, really.
- "Everyone remember where I parked the male nurse" - Jane Douglas, 2019
- After deciding to follow one of the targets:Mike: Every so often I forget that I'm a clown. And then I remember, and everything's right with the world.
- You can't get the help these days.Mike: You'd have thought some sort of security expert would, by now, have a) noticed the clown following him around, and b) gotten suspicious about the clown following him around.
- Mike visits a BBQ, photobombs the guests, and talks about getting drunk and playing mini-golf in a clown outfit. If any part of that sentence was surprising to you, hello and welcome to Outside Xbox.
- Mike has a new Hitman experience. Not carrying a propane tank; not even carrying a propane tank while dressed as a clown; but carrying a propane tank, while dressed as a clown, without planning to casually drop it next to his target and shoot it. (He does eventually shoot it, but it actually provided propane for a BBQ first!)
- Jane on architecture:Jane: Basement - that's the most murdery room in a house, right?
- Andy's flair for amateur dramatics gets the better of him when he decides that, instead of simply leaving his target's corpse hidden away in a house full of knockout gas, he needs to fake the guy falling out of a window to his death.
- When Mike does eventually shoot the propane tank, his target is a little too far away and is just knocked unconscious, necessitating a frantic sprint for the clown outfit, followed by an assassination involving a treehouse and a long-ranged pistol shot.
- Whittleton Creek part 2:
- Andy goes back to the suit because it's very stylish.
- "Was that a frog or was that a dig? Frog or dig? Frog or dig?"
- Andy ends up getting confused about whether Janus and the Constant are the same person or not.
- Jane provides security advice to an NPC.
- Andy shows off his cardiovascular fitness.
- Mike doesn't make a mountain out of a molehill, because explosives generally don't make mountains. Quite the opposite, usually.
- Mike meets his target:Mike: Wow, he is really old. I mean, could I not just wait...half an hour? And he'll probably die, and then mission accomplished, right?
- Jane goes through the wrong door and walks into the cupboard.
- When Mike finds the casualties from his barbeque rampage, he ends up robbing a corpse out of the body bag.Mike: There's bodies everywhere, and I can't help but feel somewhat responsible.
- Andy "cryogenically freezes" someone until the future, when they develop a cure for wrench injuries.
- Jane's plan goes horribly wrong.
- Mike indulges in stuff that is usually an "Andy thing" like deleting the security tapes or hiding unconscious witnesses.
- Andy concludes that the gramophone used to be in the bedroom, and the target moved it because he read about the horrible murder in Sapienza.
- Timing is everything.Guard: I wonder how little he remembers, how little he cares.
Mike: Not as little as I care. [kills him with a thrown screwdriver.]
- Andy mashes the "kill" button the second his target's rambling checks off the "intel" box.
- Mike stuns his target with a bomb throw, then triggers it, and chortles like he's the happiest he's been in years.
- Mike has been neglecting the intel collection for so long that he's forgotten it's even a mission, even though it's right there on screen.
- Andy mocks up another crime scene.
- Mike concludes that his controller vibration involves being touched by frogs.
- Jane responds to being rejected by a guard by walking through the open garage door five feet to the guy's left.
- Mike makes sure to get his clown outfit back. His compromised clown outfit. This leads to him going "full It.
- The mission exit being four feet away from the actual edge of the map manages to throw both Andy and Mike.
- Mike is jubilant about his final score, which is a record-setting (for him) two out of five.
- "The Undying Returns":
- Jane kills the target with a robot...and then tries to make up an elaborate story about making the robot to cook and it decided to kill him on its own.
- Andy decides to go for fun points and snipe Mark Faba, since they don't get to do it that often...and finds despite bringing a Electronic Key Hacker to deal with electronic locks, the point he wants to snipe from is using a traditional lock. He goes to find a crowbar (with the help of Jane), and finds out along the way that guards at frisk points will also check the briefcase he hid his sniper rifle in, so has to leave his briefcase in a random bathroom to get one. When he comes back to find it, he finds it missing because an NPC passing by had found it, and reported it as a suspicious item, and Andy has to sneak his way into a security office to steal it back. After doing this, he finds out the crowbars were nearer to the toilets than anticipated (leaning on some boxes near the Thwack Paddock), which he wasn't best pleased about. Upon getting to the vantage point, he and Jane have to wait a long time for the target to finally get in position, and also get briefly amused by "Lanyard physics". Andy could've avoided this mess from the start if he had A: Brought a sniper rifle with him to begin with, or at the very least B: Brought a lockpick to begin with.
- The Aquatic Retribution escalation:
- Mike, in possibly the most Mike-ish moment not to include an actual explosion, manages to get a crosshair painted on himself in the first eight seconds by dodging security.Jane: As an opening move, a la chess, we'll call that the Mike Gambit.
- All of the fish puns, especially the desperation to figure out new fish puns.
- The phrase "horrifying fish murder spree", especially given that the security guards are largely unfussed by the multiple fish tanks Mike blows open.
- The first mission failure comes about because Mike couldn't resist the chance to find out whether a starfish counted and chucked it at one of the targets' heads like a shuriken.
- Actually finding a fish to hit people with proves inordinately challenging!
- "I'm killing time while I think of a good pun" - Jane Douglas
- The brief digression into where the hell 47 is keeping that fish.
- The false start on "And we're away!"
- "Chaos is a ladder!" - Jane Douglas, on blowing up security cameras
- The digression on 47's butt.
- Lethal vs. nonlethal starfish.
- Mike gets his first ever five stars...because he got four stars, and Jane awards a bonus star for taking a starfish home.
- Mike, in possibly the most Mike-ish moment not to include an actual explosion, manages to get a crosshair painted on himself in the first eight seconds by dodging security.
- Hitman 2: Isle of Sgail 3 Ways to Play! (Knight Armor, Iron Maiden, Ancient Necklace) Ep. 1/2:
Mike: My insistence on playing this like Dark Souls is causing me problems, I've got to admit.
- Mike finds out he can hide as a suit of knight armor. So he goes out of his way to find it...and then goes on a murderous rampage with broadsword because he can't resist not doing so.
- How does Mike kill his first target? Run at her in a crowded room with a broadsword while screaming 'Dark Souls!' and burying it in her head. He refers to this as 'Dark Soulsing her to death'. Surprisingly, this works.
- Andy pointing out how idiotic the target is being by dismissing her guards and standing with her back to the person she's threatening...while looking into an open, functional iron maiden.
- Hitman 2: Isle of Sgail 3 Ways to Play! (Phoenix Burning, Silent Assassin, Suit of Armor) Ep. 2/2
- Andy tries to do the funeral kill...and is disturbed by the burial mask and questions what the heck is wrong with this society and their obsession with weird masks. Then the game bugs out and leaves him pretending to be a corpse for 30 minutes while an NPC is staring at him, forcing him to reset, much to his anger.
- Mike tries the phoenix burning kill but messes it up, causing the target to storm off...so he hits her in the head with a torch, drags her into the phoenix before blowing her up and lighting it on fire with an exploding duck. Somehow he gets off without a hitch.
- Andy tries the phoenix burning kill...and the game freezes. Andy is understandably angry, and tells the target it's her fault because if the game hadn't froze, he would've painlessly stabbed her to death at a funeral rather than agonizingly burn her to death in a phoenix.
- Jane decides to pull a Mike and grab a propane canister to blow up the second target...and only shoots it once, resulting in an awkward moment of the target staring at her panicked before she shoots it again and blows her up.
- Mike decides to be Mike and go back for his suit of armor, resulting in him fleeing the level in a hail of gunfire.
Show of the Week(end)
- During the episode for Dance Central 3, Jane remarks that she has to take the stairs because the elevator is broken. Andy is puzzled, as it works just fine for him. This follows with a Gilligan Cut to him dancing the Gangam Style dance in the elevator while Mike lies between Andy's legs.
- Mike and Jane attempt to create a music video internet sensation. They only manage to create versions of the macarenanote
- At the beginning of "Resident Evil 7 And The Bee Murder Dilemma", Luke is missing because he has used their time-travel Pikachu to meet Admiral Nelson and gotten stuck in the past. A frantic Ellen seeks out Andy, lays out the problem in a shocked, breathless voice...and asks if he's willing to fill in for Luke on the show.Andy: Can I have his shoes?
- Xtra quizzes are prone to going badly off the rails, so it says a lot that the quiz in "Lego Worlds and the Cloning Conundrum" manages to make Luke mouth "WHAT IS HAPPENING" to the camera.
- When describing his encounter with the Lord of the Mountains, a legendary mount found in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Luke gets a bit lost for words:Luke: Words cannot describe its beauty, but if pushed I would choose... blue. Nice-looking... good.
[Ellen, not exactly stoic to begin with throughout all of this, completely cracks up.]
- "I pause to take a selfie with it, of course I do. Then, loads more selfies. Really, loads and loads of selfies."
- Andy drawing Personas in Persona 5 and Andy's Persona-Drawing Challenge. His own Persona is "Count High Noon", a vampire cowboy. Luke's? Is "Funky Cat 2 Fresh".Andy: (while Luke is doubled over with laughter) He's a breakdancing cat who's too legit to quit.
Luke: I almost couldn't stop!
- One of the bloopers in this episode involves Luke marvelling over the fact that juice-box drinking straws now have extra littie holes in the sides. His face after he tries it out is like a penitent man who's seen the face of the Almighty.
- In "Ellen's Cuphead Rage and Indie Games We're Pumped For", Ellen asks Luke a quiz question about what liquid he thinks best encapsulates him and that he would consequently store in his head if it was a cup like in Cuphead (i.e. what drink he'd be if he were a drink). Luke doesn't fully understand the question and thinks she's just asking what liquid he'd store there in general, leading to some crossed wires and Ellen getting increasingly frustrated, until:Ellen: What drink best represents you? So like... this drink is... their entire heads are cups... so...
[Throughout all of this Luke has simply been listening and nodding patiently, with the slight effect of a doctor calmly listening to a psychiatric patient's confused ramblings]
Ellen: [Giggling] He's just being very like... [Imitates Luke's calm nodding]
Luke: Using my bedside manner.
Luke: [Condescendingly calm] Yes, everyone's head is a cup. Hmmm. [Aside to camera] Increase the dosage.
Ellen: [Losing the battle to contain herself] I'm just asking, if you were a drink—
Luke: [Alarmed] Increase the dosage!
Ellen: —what drink would you be?!
Luke: We need restraints in here!
- In "Ellen vs Luke's Outlast 2 Maze of Madness", a conversation about the setting of the upcoming Mario Odyssey leads to about a minute of Luke and Ellen riffing versions of various New York-themed songs with the name of the city replaced by "New Donk City".
- The adventures of Looka-Nellie, what happens when Luke and Ellen combine their awesome powers Yooka-Laylee-style to become an unstoppable force to be reckoned with... which in practice turns out to be just Luke using his height to reach tall objects that the shorter Ellen can't reach.
- "Outlast 2 and 5 Signs You Should GTFO Immediately" opens with Mike thinking he's been sent a Scorpio for video game journalism...only to discover it is in fact a box of scorpions. It comes back in the "post-credits sequence" spoofing the five stingers in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, where Mike demands that it has to be something relevant or interesting:Jane: Well, the box of scorpions is now empty.
Mike: [climbing up onto the couch] Yeah, that'll do it.
- Injustice 2 and Ellen's Ridiculous Super Move:
- It opens with Ellen accidentally killing Andy with a PSVR gun controller, so they stuff him down the back of the sofa. (He gets better.)
- Once they get out of What Remains of Edith Finch, Ellen basically spends half the time Corpsing.
- Luke Westaway, God's gift to medical science.Luke: Ellen's frontal brain cortex lobe...is that a bit of the brain? Your laughing says yes.
- Andy has certain Opinions about superheroes, as shown when Ellen is asked her favourite superhero.Andy: There is a correct answer.
- This bit, when Ellen is a bit unwilling to voice her answer to the second part, what aesthetic bit of equipment she'd give Spidey:Luke: A word nearly came out of your mouth then.
Ellen starts laughing
- When Ellen eventually nominates a jetpack, Luke concludes that this would allow Spidey to visit Kent!
- Luke Westaway, Giver of Lame Names:Luke: The Giggling Nuke! That'd be a good name.
Ellen: That's not a good name! That's, like, the sound of a really weird craft beer!
- Basically everything said when Andy Farrant, master actor, immerses himself in the role of a lifetime as Tyrant Superman.Ellen: There's lots of people...
Andy: Good. I hate people.
Ellen: Lois wouldn't want you to do that.
Andy: Lois is dead, and it's people's fault.
Ellen: There's...lots of other fish in the sea?
Andy: Are you talking about Aquaman? Because I hate Aquaman. I'll destroy the seas first.
- Ellen eventually gets through to "Tyrant Superman"...by telling him Batman thinks he's cool, and they can totally hang out and go for rides in the Batmobile if Superman stops trying to kill everyone.
- The selection of elements for Ellen's super-move is a trifle odd.Ellen: House brick...jet boat...Sting discography? [dies laughing, again]...hang-gliders, and a coffee mug.
Luke: That's a shame. Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning was in there somewhere.
Luke: Also, I put "blue whale" in there four times, because I really wanted a blue whale to be involved.
- When Andy does one, he gets all the good stuff (power of the sun, magma, volcanoes, uppercut), making Ellen really jealous...but still no blue whales!Luke: Do you think you could work in a blue whale just for me?
Andy: Also a blue whale was there.
- Mike has a turn, and he gets his favourite thing (sports car), Luke's favourite thing (a blue whale), and Ellen's favourite thing (Kingdoms of Amalur). Once he's assembled those, plus the fire extinguisher and office chair, into his super-move...Andy: So, you run them over with a car.
Mike: A burning car!
- Luke attempts to justify more The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild content with graphs, inspired by a comment. It doesn't go well.Ellen: Luke, why have you just drawn Link murdering you by a caravan?
Luke: (angrily) We're on holiday together. A lovely holiday.
- Then someone suggests that Ellen do a playthrough of Kingdoms of Amalur, since both Luke and Andy have already gotten to do Let's Plays of their favourite games. Luke immediately tells James to cut Ellen's mike.
- "Get Even and 5 Times Reality Went On Vacation": Mike quits his job to become a professional Gwent player, and then returns to ask for it back because he's really bad at Gwent.Andy: Are you...not wearing shoes...did you lose your shoes?!
Mike: I thought I had a royal flush?
Andy: Yeah, I'm starting to see what the problem was.
- "Destiny 2 and Luke vs. the Star Trek VR Mutiny" opens with Luke having turned "all Hollywood" because he and Jane went to LA for a couple of days, complete with Andy serving as an "agent" through whom all correspondence with Luke has to be routed.Ellen: Jane, you were there too. Do you agree with this?
Andy: (moves back into shot) Hi, Bud Fensler, I represent Ms Douglas...
Ellen: [Giggling] [Luke's] getting stared down by Andy...
- It is revealed that, during their Star Trek Bridge Crew Lets Play, Andy kept trying to incite a mutiny. Including when they were driving to the venue. And this is all revealed when Luke is asked a hypothetical question about which member of the Ox Box crew he would, if the captain, assign to wear the Red Shirt...
Andy: Please continue.
[Awkward pause; Ellen keeps giggling, Luke avoids eye contact]
Andy: Y'know, just interested to see where this goes, is all...
Luke:... Okay, well now I think I have to make Andy the red shirt. It's the only way to get him off my back.
- And, of course, this turns out to have been an instance of Ellening and Luke could have just chosen for none of the team to be a red shirt, meaning hes just hypothetically killed Andy for no reason. Andy demands that Luke gaze upon his hypothetical corpse and feel bad. Luke hypothetically does so, but happens to mention that hes drinking a hypothetical cup of cocoa at the time, which Andy feels undermines the hypothetical guilt-trip.
- "Tekken 7, ARMS, and Outside Xtra's Mega-Quiz Battle" has a rare spectacle: two Xtra quizzes going head to head. At various points, Luke has to build a Tekken origin story involving a missing friend, Mark Jacobs and a badger; Ellen has to convince Mike not to get surgery to have exploding fists on spring arms (James provides the clinching argument: spring arms are bad for driving cars); and we learn that Luke's Limit Break would be to Rage Quit.Mike: I'm off to get exploding legs, thanks Ellen!
- "Ellen's Big SNES Mini Decision" opens with several minutes of pure hilarity when Ellen accidentally mixes up the Star Wars prequels and the original trilogy.Andy: I'm in the comments right now, Ellen! The video's not even finished and I'm in the comments!
Mike: Whoops, I've blotted my copybook there. Did I tell you how nice your hair's looking?
- There is also a lengthy tangent when Luke and Andy get side-tracked with a conversation about the unresolved trauma Boba Fett has over seeing his father get decapitated, which eventually results in a discussion of the skull-collection he keeps in his kitchen cupboards. Ellen looks incredibly freaked out during this, with the addition of a shadowy vignette filter and a creepy music score only increasing the effect.
- Subsequently, everyone is trying to butter Ellen up to get her to pick their favourite game as the best on the SNES. Luke begins with a lengthy spiel about how close the two have become ever since hosting the channel together. Andy plays it reasonably straight and focusses mainly on the game, but takes every opportunity he can to rubbish Luke's suggestion and makes frequent shouted comments from offscreen; Mike compliments her hair; Jane bakes cookies...
- After doing quite well with both his argument for Contra 3 and his shameless flattery of Ellen's hair, Mike ends up completely putting his foot in it when he makes some dismissive comments about Super Mario Land 2... which, as it turns out, Ellen quite likes.
Luke: That will make sense...
- As part of his argument for Starfox 2, Luke brings up the soundtrack, and spends a few seconds groove-punching to the "Corneria Theme" to demonstrate his point. Of course, while the theme is added in post-editing it's not actually playing in the studio at the time, meaning that in practice Luke spends a few seconds suddenly and randomly punching the air while Ellen has an expression on her face like he's grown a second head:
Jane: It's historically important, a momentous fighting game... there wasn't even a Street Fighter 1 for all you know!
- Shameless cookie-bribery aside, Jane's argument about the merits of Street Fighter 2 is not without holes:
Ellen: The title suggests...
Jane: No... no...
- When Ellen finally picks his choice Andy is shameless about the gloating, going so far as to produce a little trophy for himself.
- Mike goes straight for the jugular in "''Resident Evil HD and 5 Insane Things that Would Never Happen in Modern Resi".Andy: 'Happy new year'? It's nearly February, keep up grandad.
Mike: Well, at least I didn't spend most of January sucking at Halo 5: Guardians.
- "Splatoon 2 and Squid/Kid Luke's Seafood Heist"
- Luke comes up with ways to make use of the Voluntary Shapeshifting, including a heist at a high-class seafood restaurant and surprising the squid family on Christmas...only to be suddenly naked.
- When looking through comments from videos, two commentors chastise Luke for bringing up the Sonic drowning music in "7 Times Swimming was the Actual Worst". In response, he and Andy try to play something more soothing. Guess which song plays. Cue freak-out from both the guys.
- "Dishonored: Death of the Outsider and 5 Worst Misuses of Supernatural Powers"
- Before the intro card, Jane and Andy briefly talk about their EGX foray...and Mike's failed business venture in selling stealth tips.
- One commentor suspects that the channel was under a sponsorship from a tea company due to references of tea. Cut to Jane telling Andy that the sponsorship was canceled because Andy drank coffee.Andy: Curse you, pumpkin spice!
- Pokken DX and Luke's Pikachu Persona:
- There's a brief digression into the difference in mobility between The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and ''Super Mario OdysseyLuke: You couldn't just see yourself a building and scamper up it with your little Link hands.
Ellen: [hand gestures] Claws.
Luke: (same gestures) Sharp little Link claws...He's got, like, little, you know, like a mole's claws. Or, like, one of those monkeys that's, like, creepily person-like when you look at its hands, you know? Like, you look at it and go, 'Aww, there's a cute monkey', and then you look at its hand for too long and you go 'oooh, it's too much like a person'. You know what I mean?
Ellen: (sounding amused and unnerved at the same time) No?
- Luke mentions that he dressed Mario as a clown.Andy: Is there a bit when you're Clown Mario where you go down a sewer and a Bowser Jr comes, and a paper boat...
[shot of the poster from It (2017)]
Luke: (Mario voice) "Let's-a float!"
- Ellen brings up Hitman Go.Ellen: Andy looks so disappointed in me!
Andy: This is not the time.
- The attempt to change the genres of various videogames culminates in Luke proposing a Resident Evil Dating Sim.
- The digression into Pokémon Film Noir.Andy: I'm imagining the camera panning up the legs of a Pikachu Femme Fatale, but because Pikachus have such tiny little legs...it only takes a moment.
- It comes back when Luke has an idea about Clown Pikachu.Luke: It's hard to mime Charizard being dragged into a sewer.
- "Why does this always end in us talking about Pokemon bones?"
- There's a brief digression into the difference in mobility between The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and ''Super Mario Odyssey
- "Street Fighter's 30th Birthday and 5 Most Unappreciated Characters"
- The last comment has the commentor speak about dropping transformation potion in drinks so they could get the gold for themselves. Mike became wary of the cup Andy was holding, making Andy reconsider drinking and put the cup on the shelf. Cue James coming from off camera to drink from the cup, and becoming a goat.
- Jane is absent due to a supposed Street Fighter tournament, which was won. During The Stinger, she asks the two guys to move the couch to make room for her trophy. They proceed to do that. Jane comes in to place a small handheld trophy where the couch was.
- "Cuphead and Ellen's Boss-Crafting Challenge" has Luke absent due to Con Flunote .Andy: I told him not to inhale all those spores...that he found on the floor.
- Andy takes a revisionist approach to the liveshow, in which Oxtra won the competition, by going so far as to get a copy of the trophy and insist that the ribbons fell off during his victory lap.
- One of the rooms in the level of The Evil Within 2 they played has the wallpaper in Andy's actual real-life bedroom in it, so there's a digression on movie night at Andy's place.Andy: The camera monster's fine, you get her a cup of tea and she'll sit down and watch the movie with you.
- The first question in the weekly quiz involves a wizard jumping out from behind the sofa, so they edit in a Lego wizard in post.
- The boss Ellen crafts is dubbed the "Pea-1000".
- Ellen claims that Luke's "Doomguy is Link" video came about because Luke crept into the studio while they weren't paying attention.
- Andy claims the only thing that can cure the common cold is a big dinosaur.Ellen: That's not how germs work, Andy.
- A blooper involving Ellen's attempt at making a clown-nose noise is spun by Andy into depicting Ellen as an IT who has captured Luke for her own dark purposes.Andy: If Ellen offers you a balloon, don't take it. That's where Luke is! She said he's ill, but the truth, the terrible truth... she pulled him into the sewer. He floats down there... anyway, thanks for watching. Hope you enjoyed Show of the Weekend.
Ellen: [Giggling] Yeah, uh, let us know down below in the comments what you thought—
Andy: What your greatest fear is. And Ellen'll come visit.
Ellen: Press the like button—
Andy: Yeah, press the like button. And maybe you'll be spared.
Ellen: — if you enjoyed it, and hopefully Luke'll feel better next week, and he'll be back...
Andy: I don't know if you get better from that, Ellen.
[Ellen cracks up]
- Shadow of War and Jane's Orc-Inspiring Battle Speech:
- It opens with Luke learning that Ellen's come down with something, so he goes to Jane. Jane assumes he's there to barter for her sinister magic elixir, which cures with one drop but brings the waking death with two. When she learns Luke is actually there to ask her to fill in, she drops the sinister routine, agrees, and chugs from the bottle as they head over to the sofa.
- When Luke is talking about Golf Story, Jane claims she tuned out the moment he said "golf"...and tuned back in when he said "geese".
- When Luke mentions that the constant horns in the early area music are getting on his wick, it's proposed that it's a chorus of geese, or "gorus" as Luke dubs it.
- They get so distracted by golf jokes that James actually has to urge them along.
- "Accidental segue!"
- They get hugely distracted by Tom Bombadil.
- Luke offers Jane a "Ring of Power" and asks what power it would need to make the inevitable corruption worthwhile. Jane spends a couple of minutes going into the backstory before she eventually gets to the point: Mind Control.
- Jane's speech includes an exhortation for orcs to follow their dreams. This leads to some tricky verbal backtracking when Luke points out certain facts about her audience.Luke: (in an orc voice) I want to eat an entire family!
- Jane's first thought, off the top of her head, when asked about new games set in Middle-Earth, is a golf RPG on the slopes of Mount Doom, where you try to chip the One Ring into it.Andy: Fly there on the back of a giant goose.
- We learn that Luke has signed his power of attorney over to Kippers (yes, their Skyrim khajit), and that he's willing to abuse time travel to avoid coming across as Totally Radical.
- Luke claims that if it has a beat they can usually dance to it. To prove this, there's footage of Luke and Ellen jamming to a printer.
- "Ellen vs Luke's Evil Within 2 MAZE OF MADNESS":
Luke: The mannequins begin to speak in a tongue you've never heard...
- The show opens with Jane and Andy on the couch instead of Luke and Ellen, since in the past two episodes, one of the usual hosts had been sick. However, this time, both of them recovered, leaving Jane and Andy very disgruntled as they leave. Then it turns out Andy made a lot of preparations for the show, including getting a thousand balloons and a pony.
- Luke's "labyrinth of unhappiness" choose-your-own-adventure receives a cameo from two scary mannequins portrayed by Andy and Jane:
Andy: Bonjour, je suis se mannequin a fait ont. Woooo.
Luke: As the mannequins ramble on, the speech becomes clearer somehow—
Luke: —As if they are moulding themselves to your native language.
Andy: I am a scaaaaaary mannequin.
Jane: What is up, you guys?
Ellen: Why didn't the cat attack me?!
- The Twist Ending revelation that Ellen's character in the labyrinth was actually Milk Penguinnote . And the "evil photographer" turns out to just be a marine biologist who wants to document him.
- Ellen has a point of contention with this revelation:
Luke: Cats don't attack penguins. That's not a thing.
Ellen: They attack birds!
Luke: I... I find it weird that that's what you're fixating on as evidence that you're not a penguin.
Ellen: So the end I got was, there's a marine biologist who comes up to a penguin and he's just... [Mimes a penguin flailing wildly but ineffectually at someone]
- Ellen is initially disgruntled at failing the quiz at the last hurdle (and by the revelation that she was a penguin all along), until she thinks through all the implications:
Luke: Yeah, basically.
Ellen: [Laughing] I'm fine with that.
- The start of "Evil Within 2 and the 5 Worst Artists in Videogames" sees Andy suffering from some Paranoia Fuel and Jane is trying to be helpful... sort of.Andy: This week I went to see the new Blade Runner film and now I'm not sure whether I'm a human or a replicant.Jane: Oh. (bounces a ball off his head)Andy: Ow!Jane: Feels pain... slow reactions... Definitely human!Andy: The whole point is that the humans are indistinguishable from the replicants!(Beat)Jane: (bounces the ball off his head again)Andy: Stop that!
- WWE 2K18 and 5 Spookiest Wrestlers to Be for Halloween
Jane: Now let's see what's in the comments, and in this spooky haunted lootbox!
- The show's pre-intro has Mike put pumpkin spice in everything: Andy's tea, Mike's energy drink, and the toothpaste. Andy is not pleased.
- The snark about lootboxes with Jane musing on the possibility of being topical and going as one for Halloween.
Mike: [opens the box, with confetti effect edited in in post]
Jane: Oh, no! Spiders!
Mike: Worse: spiders you've already got!
- Super Mario Odyssey and Luke's Quick Capturing Choice: Ellen asks Luke to guess Mario's age, then moves their Mario hat in from offscreen at the bottom of the camera field as a visual aid. Corpsing ensues.Luke: Well, now I think you can't be older than about three...
Luke: This is all we're doing now. Next week's Show of the Weekend is going to be a puppet show. If we get behind the sofa, we can...
Ellen: [loses composure a second time]
Luke: [with his hand very obvious beneath the hat] (Mario voice) Hello!
James: Well, I'm convinced.
- The Last of Us 2, PGW and Luke's Alfred Obsession:
- Ellen starts out seeking advice on Assassin's Creed Origins from a bunch of birds. The third one, she claims, picked her up because it thought she was a mouse, but dropped her off in Hyde Park after twenty minutes. Then there's a bird cry dubbed in, and she flees in terror.
- Ellen adores the statues in Alexandria in-game that have their arms out, because she sits on the outstretched hand pretending to be Senu, the main character's pet eagle.
- Ellen declares a question about being the offspring of two protagonists of other games to be "o/~ shipfeeest o/~".
- Luke's post-apocalypse plan is to run the camp newsletter.
- Luke wonders what he might be missing because he's not paying attention...while Ellen is horsing around just out of his peripheral vision.
- Luke becomes possessed by Cappy.
- Doom on Switch and Ellen's Sound-Reversing Quiz Challenge:
- Luke references the fact that the boss of Doom II had a backwards phrase telling the player how to win the game. As such, he gives Ellen a quiz in which she must guess famous video game phrases backwards. It does not go well.
- When hearing a very deep voiced man, Ellen can't guess it. Before Luke plays the answer, he off-handedly asks James if he has a guess, and he responds with Bioshock. Luke then plays the answer, and it's A man chooses! A slave obeys!. Ellen angrily pouts on the sofa.
- Ellen gets a face of sheer horror when she hears one of the reversed phrases is: Don't you think you've seen enough? from Tomb Raider II
- Ellen correctly guesses Jigglypuff's theme song. The two then sing as Photoshopped Jigglypuff's fill the screen. Then, Luke's audio loops and FUS RO DAHH! plays. They joke about Jigglypuff's flying everwhere.
- Luke references the fact that the boss of Doom II had a backwards phrase telling the player how to win the game. As such, he gives Ellen a quiz in which she must guess famous video game phrases backwards. It does not go well.
- Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon and the Ultra Creepy Pokedex Quiz:
- In the opening, Ellen has come down with Acquired Situational Narcissism after presenting an award at the Golden Joysticks.
- Moments later, "Bud" puts Luke in a headlock as a step towards becoming his agent too.Luke: Name your percentage!
- When Ellen gets a bit too deep into Million Onion Hotel, Luke jokes that he feels like he should be blinking Morse code at the viewers as a message for help.
- Fortnite Battle Royale and the 5 Worst Bus Journeys (Besides Your Commute)
- Jane is very contrite that while her coworkers enjoy playing a Battle Royale scenario in video games, they're less than happy about being in one in real life:Jane: Oh, sure. When it's a video game, you enjoy it. But when I suggest a fortnight long Battle Royale here at work, I have to go on a HR training course.
- When Mike says it's a fun and safe way of playing Battle Royale, Jane rolls her eyes to the next universe as if the words "safe" and "Battle Royale" belong nowhere near each other.
- While discussing the comments, Mike Trolls Andy about The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.Mike: (while Andy gets steadily angrier) I love the way it invented all those iconic characters, like Dr Jekyll, and Mr Hyde, and Dorian Grey, and Captain Nemo...y'know what? Someone should write a book about those guys!
Andy: They did!
Mike: I don't read movie novelisations, Andy, they're garbage.
- Jane is very contrite that while her coworkers enjoy playing a Battle Royale scenario in video games, they're less than happy about being in one in real life:
- Animal Crossing Pocket Camp, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and Luke's Triceratop-ia:
- The episode opens with Luke and Ellen celebrating their fiftieth episode...or at least trying, since James claims it was the wrong week. After some back and forth on whether the vlog from Gamescom counted, they eventually conclude that it's their "fiftieth-ish" episode and set off party poppers...and Luke's doesn't work.
- Luke characterises an NPC's objection to his campsite design in Pocket Camp as being "I'd love to come but your campsite is scrub trash".
- Ellen seems particularly impressed by Jane's character having a campervan in the colours of Neapolitan ice cream. Luke then mentions that he got trapped in said campervan by Jane's character standing in front of the door and never letting him past (until he found the Go Outside button, anyway).
- Luke makes a big deal about the enormous sacrifice he made for the channel by...spending slightly under a pound on in-game currency to craft a chair for KK Slider. He then mentions that he's deeply weirded out by KK Slider turning out to be a lot taller when he stands up, while Ellen dies laughing. The video then offers a typical Oxbox poll regarding KK Slider's look, where the options are "WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD", "About how I'd expect", and "Every other animal has clothes".
- Luke goes into a lot of detail on the potential scenery you could get from living on the back of a continent-sized triceratops.
- Ellen describes Argentum in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 as a "flying whale-fish thing".
- Luke agonises over whether Tora is cuter than a porg. Luke's answer includes his desire for a giant Scrooge McDuck money pit, only full of porgs, and his speculation on what it would be like if you went "whooos a cute puppy" to a dog and it told you it was a human rights lawyer.
- Ellen finishes the segment by dissolving into cute-animal gibberish.
- In the reading-the-comments segment, we learn that their insurance doesn't cover sword swallowing, lion taming, or interpretive dance.
- Luke Westaway, Master of Disguise, "tricks" Ellen by wearing a random helmet that is slightly too small for his head and doing a fake voice.
- When they talk about their "British apology loop", they get stuck in a three-way one with James.
- Luke translates Ellen's "interpretive dance", including one bit that he thinks is either about telling your friends or "something about an elephant that is not suitable for broadcast".
- PUBG and 5 Games that Had No Plot and We Didn't Care:
- Andy opens the show by saying that he's mortgaged the show to Tom Nook to pay for his Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp habit. The opening credits then show that you're watching "Outside Nooksbox".
- Mike is Worried about PUBG coming to Xbox.Luke: (from offscreen) Should we panic?
Mike: Nobody panic yet.
Luke: I'm gonna panic!
Andy: Yes you should, Luke. Should we take to the streets and start burning cars? Yes, Luke.
- Andy insists that games not having a plot is fine, because they made a movie about Battleships co-starring Rihanna!Andy: ...Not a very good one, but still!
- The description of Pokémon GO includes elements such as the three teams being described as "cults", and Andy's description of the classic hero's journey.
- Someone in the comments on their Assassin's Creed quiz had bet on Andy, only for the clutch question to be about bombs.Andy: Why wasn't there a question about my specialist subject?!
Jane: It's a historical stealth game, Andy, the whole thing should be your specialist subject.
- Jane describes being kidnapped off a bus ride in Far Cry 4 as "a bit of local colour".Andy: Someone gets stabbed to death with a pen!
Jane: Red is a colour.
- The video ends with Tom Nook's goons arriving.Mike: What kind of goons is he going to send? He's a raccoon!
Andy: More raccoons!
Mike: [SKEPTICISM INTENSIFIES]
Andy: They have a nasty bite!
Mike: All right, Andy. I'll catch you later. [walks offscreen, and then the sounds of carnage start]
Andy: [awkwardly] That's him, you got him, fellas...Should have paid back your bells, Andy, who I'm not...Cover your face, that's where the tastiest meat is! ...Never mind, they found it.
- 'Zelda Breath of the Wild DLC 2 and the Xmas Monopoly Dilemma'
- The show opens with Ellen bringing Luke some exciting news. His favorite game unreleased in the West, Detective Pikachu, is getting a movie adaptation, with one of his favorite actors, Ryan Reynolds, doing Pikachu's voice. Although Luke pretends to be happy, he excuses himself to the prop closet, where he cries over his audition tape for the part.
- Extra hilariousness is that at the bottom of the tape, Luke's representation is Bud Fensler.
- When Luke gets back, he has to make an excuse:Luke: (still sad) I just had to get my Christmas jumper.
Ellen: You're -
Luke: YEAH GOT IT
[literally everyone corpses, whether or not they're on screen]
- Luke comes to a realisation about post-game content:Luke: What I want is some DLC that gives you that endgame state, and you can wander around in a Hyrule where there's no monsters, and there's nothing to do, and I'm just now realising why they didn't do that.
- Luke invents the word "Quizmas", and Ellen immediately develops a worryingly large ":D" expression.
- The show opens with Ellen bringing Luke some exciting news. His favorite game unreleased in the West, Detective Pikachu, is getting a movie adaptation, with one of his favorite actors, Ryan Reynolds, doing Pikachu's voice. Although Luke pretends to be happy, he excuses himself to the prop closet, where he cries over his audition tape for the part.
- Monster Hunter World and Jane's Chupacabra Hunting Challenge:
- When they start discussing the cats in the game, Ellen - who isn't even onscreen - experiences a very audible outbreak of Cuteness Proximity.
- When Jane asks what the combat is like:Mike: I'm gonna say something, and then I'm immediately going to burst into flames.
Jane: [covers her ears] Don't say it!
Mike: Do you know what I'm gonna say?
Andy: (offscreen) Dark Souls.
- When Mike describes dinosaurs as "like giant chickens", Jane mentions that it's fortunate Luke isn't there to hear this.
- When it gets into the Challenge of the Week, Jane is somewhat disconcerted to discover that in "Undead Nightmare" John Marston has traded up:Jane: Oh no, you're not Horson...
Andy: Well, in Undead Nightmare...
Jane: Oh, it's all dripping.
Jane: I'm definitely gonna catch something.
Andy: It's got unlimited stamina, and can't be killed.
Jane: It's got leprosy, is what it's got.
Mike: It's releasing gas. Is that normal?
- When they discuss the chupacabra episode of The X-Files, the "fungus affecting an illegal immigrant" reveal is summarised by Mike as "Mulder and Scully vs. Athlete's Foot".
- Jane gets really suspicious about a random boulder.
- One of the plans they bat back and forth is to buy a goat and serve it up with a salad.
- "I'm sorry, chupacabra, that you went out like a punk."
- Monster Hunter World and Ellen's Palico-Poogie Meltdown:
- When asking about the best videogame environments to live in, because it went up at midwinter in the UK, everyone was proposing warm and tropical locations.
- When the Palico part of the eponymous "Palico-Poogie Meltdown" hits it is possibly the most incoherent Ellen has ever been while looking at cute animals, and trust us, that is quite an achievement.
- When they get to Palico preset 7, they immediately agree that it's a feline David Bowie.
- Luke's introduction of the Poogie:Luke: You might think that the Palico is the cutest thing in Monster Hunter World, but you would be a wrong idiot.
- The name "Poogie" produces one of Ellen's loudest Corpsing fits.
- [Luke holds up a toy pig] "This is what Beanie Babies are now, I think. The world has become a strange and frightening place."
- The first time the poogie-petting time trial is done, dramatic music is played over the footage while Ellen races to pat the toy pig and hit the phone, managing it in 722 milliseconds. The second time, the same music is played...until Luke realises he forgot to press "start". There are no survivors. The third time, Ellen manages to shave it down to 573 milliseconds, and Luke tries to be dramatic about befriending the poogie:Luke: Ellen, you have b-
[he notices Ellen is hugging the toy pig already]
Luke: ...and that's it, we're gonna have to end the show here folks.
- Ellen is nothing if not honest:Ellen: If there's any opportunity for me to make a fuss about a cute animal, then I will take it.
- One commenter sums up Oxtra's Let's Play approach as being "80% no-no-nos and this-has-gone-horribly-wrongs".
- Someone sent in fanart of Luke's mutated Souls boss version of Smash Blue Whale. Luke rates it A-100; Ellen, in order to make a joke about British roads, rates it M-1.Luke: I'm horrified and happy! It's a weird feeling!
- Kingdom Come Deliverance and Andy's Nude Jarl Punching Skyrim Challenge had a running gag about the team hiding the news of Red Dead Redemption 2 being delayed from Andy by, among other things, cutting all news articles out of game magazines and by taping his laptop shut. Unfortunately, by the end of the episode, Andy had found his phone hidden in a toilet cistern
- Andy: Anyway, let me just check Twitter from a few days ago and see what's...RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2 WAS DELAYED? WHAT THE FU...
- Ellen and Luke's Kingdom Come Survival Challenge pits Ellen in the role of attempting to survive 14th century Bohemia. It goes...really badly.
- She awakes lying in bed, and decides to lay there for a moment longer, only to die of dysentery.
- She wonders where her parents have gone, only to realize that they were surely working, and her delirium is a sign of dysentery, which kills her.
- When she reassures her mother about the failing crop, the mother responds that surely, Ellen knows the church and the lord take their tithe, and she must have some sort of sickness from forgetting that. Which kills her.
- Ellen pets her pig Piglenton, whose tooth scraps her arm. This doesn't kill her, although Luke remarks it probably will later.
- Ellen lets a man try on her cloak, only to forget he is ill and contagious, which then kills her.
- Ellen finds a town completely deserted, and checks the message board, believing there is be a notice of plague. However, as a 14th century peasant, she is illiterate. And the fact that she forgets that is a symptom of the sweating sickness.
- Ellen comes across a festival, and joins in the dancing, only to realize these people had a real-life dancing mania and she dies from exhaustion.
- Nintendo Labo Hands-On and Ellen's Fe Animal-Singing Trials:
- Ellen feels bad about getting to play with Nintendo Labo when none of the Oxbox side had been allowed to, so she makes cardboard stuff for the others - rocket for Jane, car for Mike and history book for Andy. When Luke is condescendingly lecturing her about how Nintendo Labo works, Mike pops up from behind the sofa, grabs the car, and disappears, and then tyre squeals play. Even Ellen looks perturbed.
- Ellen tries and fails to come up with a "Laptop Song".
- One of the challenges Luke poses to Ellen: come up with a type of food that would not make a good name for a cat. Ellen almost dies during the brainstorming session.
- For the actual animal-singing trials, the animals include plush toys of Dogmeat, a moose, Pikachu and Doomguy. Impressively, Ellen manages to get through it without interrupting her harmonisation with laughter (much, anyway), even when Doomguy's song appears to be the Jigglypuff song.Luke: (on Doomguy) One of the rarest-glimpsed forest creatures.
- "And a big thanks to our woodland puppeteer, Mike! How's that spine, Mike?"Mike: [emerging from behind the sofa] Pretty curved.
- Luke gets worryingly specific about "the 1997 Incident", which apparently involved attempting to appreciate a stegosaur skeleton's back plates from closer than behind the velvet rope, "and also the findings of the Crown were inconclusive."
- Soul Calibur VI and Andy's Solid Snake Creator Challenge
- Jane really gets into Super Mario Odyssey's new Balloon Mode, and loses the ability to distinguish reality from fantasy.Jane: I don't know. I think they were five.
- Jane really gets into Super Mario Odyssey's new Balloon Mode, and loses the ability to distinguish reality from fantasy.
- Assassin's Creed Origins Curse of the Pharaohs and Ellen's Mighty Mummy Quiz:
- There's a lengthy digression on Cheeseburger, the bear in Far Cry 5. This includes both the reason you give him salmon instead of an actual cheeseburger (diabetes, apparently), and the problems with motion-capture on a bear:Mike: Have you ever tried attaching ping-pong balls to a bear?
Luke: "Well, good news, we got the motion cap of him savaging a team member."
James: "Can we just get it again?"
- Ellen's topic shift to Assassin's Creed: Origins DLC includes the following, delivered in pretty matter-of-fact tones:Ellen: All of these adding way more hours to the main game, which means I will never ever finish it, what are you doing to me Ubisoft, I will never see daylight again.
Luke: Daylight's overrated. If you play a game set in a sunny location you get Vitamin D through the screen, that's just a fact.
- The picture with Luke's head crudely slapped on a flamingo.
- The mummy quiz itself starts well enough, given that Luke wasn't paying attention during "class".Ellen: What is the first step?
Luke: They have to die.
- Luke manages another technically accurate answer when asked what they have a lot of in Ancient Egypt.Luke: Sand.
- When asked about Ancient Egypt's gods, Luke defaults to trying to remember that song from The Prince of Egypt, and he eventually figures it out using Stargate.
- Luke gets an Anubis mask, and seems very happy with it, up until he puts it on too quickly and gets it wrong.Ellen: Anubis would happen - I've already done that joke this week, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-
Luke: Cut! We're done! We're done! That's the show!
- There's a lengthy digression on Cheeseburger, the bear in Far Cry 5. This includes both the reason you give him salmon instead of an actual cheeseburger (diabetes, apparently), and the problems with motion-capture on a bear:
- Final Fantasy XV and Luke's Best-Buds Roadtrip Quiz: Luke, apparently, found Cheeseburger in Far Cry 5 so adorable he got a real, wild bear, forcing him to stop and barricade the door mid-comments-section. Then this happened:Commenter: *sees Luke's head attacked to a flamingo body* That's ok Oxtra, turns out I didn't need to sleep tonight after all.
Luke: (amiably) Haha, well, we won't be able to sleep tonight either.
Luke: (without changing tone) Because of the bear, it's broken through. RUN!
- Sea of Thieves and Mike's Pirate Insult Challenge: The opener informs us that Jane stole the golden bananas from the Sea of Thieves contest.Jane: It's called Sea of Thieves, not Sea of Politely Enter Online Competitions.
- Andy invents "super scurvy", in which you have negative vitamins and your bones liquefy.
- There's a lot of discussion of pig trafficking, culminating in Jane dubbing their pirate pig-master "Long John Oinky".
- When the implication comes up that Mike was controlling Andy through an out-of-character rampage in Hitman (2016), Mike launches into a Suspiciously Specific Denial involving a voodoo doll. Which he subsequently takes out and drops.
- Jane's pirate flag reads "PRESS YE LIKE BUTTON".
- Kirby Star Allies and Luke's OX Waddle Dee Friend Circle:
- The opener focuses on Luke's conviction that he and Ellen are going to be in the next Smash game. His evidence for this includes a picture of himself having a picnic with Samus Aran (it's later revealed that Ellen drew it). It also includes his conviction that two of the characters in the distant background of the trailer are himself and Ellen. The one he identifies as himself is clearly Bowser.
- When Ellen throws a scrunched-up bit of "evidence" behind the sofa:Luke: In the furnace. There's a furnace back there. Where Mike lives.
- Luke has recently finished the "Farewell" chapter of Life Is Strange Before the Storm, so to celebrate, he gets Ellen to do the choose-your-own-adventure book the characters wrote as seven-year-old children. Between the cute animals and the sudden and arbitrary death, Luke laments that it's distressingly close to his own current writing style, while Ellen wonders if someone at Square Enix is watching their videos.James: Is there a dysentery option?
Andy: Swap out the squirrel for Piglington the pig.
Luke: Max and Chloe are geniuses! Misunderstood in their time.
- The item Luke would throw at people to befriend them? Cold, hard cash. He then reconsiders and throws mixtapes, which he admits has the issue that almost nobody owns a tape player any more, so they'd end up claiming the mixtape was good just to spare his feelings.
- Luke admits the accuracy of a comment pointing out that they turn really dark and gritty games lighthearted and cutesy fun games Darker and Edgier as setup for a comparison of the new Kirby game's befriending mechanic to Get Out. This nearly kills Ellen.
- "As games have always taught us, Luke, there is power in numbers, so if you have enough pals with you in Kirby Star Allies, you can make an adorably named 'Friend Circle', where you roll around and crush your foes." Luke subsequently describes this mechanic as a "fun wheel of death".
- While Luke draws the Oxbox team as Kirby enemies, Ellen goes into detail on the artistic process for drawing the aforementioned picture of Luke and Samus picnicking.
- Luke's designs include an "Ellen-Dee" that shoots cats, a "Luke-Dee" with attack horns and defensive frill, a "Mike-Dee" in a tiny motorcar, a "Jane-Dee" that causes them both to start chanting "EL-DRITCH BLAST! EL-DRITCH BLAST!", and a question mark for An-Dee. When he reveals that last one, a lot of spare paper falls out of the clipboard.Luke: Mike is looking [at Mike-Dee] and nodding in approval and no small degree of confusion, 'cause he's only just entered the studio and has got no context for what's happening here.
- The attack horns and defensive frill come up so often that Ellen actually changes the end-of-quiz line from the normal "I think we've learned a lot about [game]".Ellen: I think we've learned a lot about your attack horns and defensive frill.
- In the comments, we learn that Jane is well on her way to figuring out how to Eldritch Blast in real life.Luke: (chipper) Well, time to get our affairs in order.
- Luke's thrown-off-a-ledge plan includes a Strongly Worded Letter and the nuclear option: tutting.Ellen: (cowers)
- A disussion of last week's yacht design and James not being in the picture goes a bit awry when Ellen begins to ask about where international waters begin.
- "A Way Out and Andy's Un-Cooperative Challenge"
- Andy opens the show by being excited that Geralt of Rivia is a new character in Soul Calibur VI. Mike scoffs and asks if Noctis will show up in Tekken, or if a Dark Souls amiibo will be released. Both of which he finds out are true. He then wishes for a million pounds, and only gets the opening theme song music.
- During the Challenge of the Week, Jane challenges Andy to a friendly rivalry with a game of horseshoes. When she wins, Andy's first response is to try and have his character shoot hers with a shotgun.
- When looking at an earlier video, Andy remarks that the patterns on Jane's sweatshirt were oddly hypnotic. Jane tries to trick him into doing her dark bidding, but it just makes Andy want sandwiches. Jane later has an angry phone call with Doctor Mesmetron about it.note
- Ellen vs. Detective Pikachu's Murder Mystery Challenge:
- After the Cold Open, involving Ellen's frustrated attempts to teach poor dancer Luke a complicated new variant on the Kirby victory dance, the episode proper begins with Luke railing against the concept of dancing:Luke: Stupid dancing! What even is it? It's just moving. Is this a dance? [Wiggles briefly in his seat]
Ellen and James: Yeah.
Luke: ... Well good.
James: Quite a good one.
- Luke's hard-boiled Private Eye Monologue is repeatedly interrupted by both presenters breaking down in giggle fits.
- Mike helps with Ellen's interview to join the detective agency by pointing out that her purple shirt on the purple sofa makes her a master of camouflage. She also raises the point that this would be the first time she got to help someone else reach high ledges.
- Part of the quiz involves coming up with voices for various videogame characters. For Dogmeat, Ellen ends up apologising for her terrible Boston accent. For Senu, Andy and Mike yell stuff from offscreen in a completely out-of-place Oop North accent, and Ellen is laughing too hard to offer a different spin. Then they have her dub lines into the games in the chosen voices.
- For the final stage of the quiz, Ellen - wearing an ill-fitting overcoat - has to solve the murder of Andy, with the help of Detective Pikachu and Medical Officer Popplio. The poison used? Nutmeg, delivered via juice box. The killer? Mike, out of irritation regarding a scratch Andy put on his car after driving it without permission.
- Ellen: Master Detective.Luke: There's one major clue you've not yet examined.
Ellen: [lifts up Pikachu toy and checks underneath]
Luke: The victim himself!
Ellen: Well, I poked him...
- The killer's Motive Rant.Mike: I knew I should have committed this crime on international waters.
Luke: Or not on camera.
Mike: Or not at all! Crime doesn't pay!
- After the Cold Open, involving Ellen's frustrated attempts to teach poor dancer Luke a complicated new variant on the Kirby victory dance, the episode proper begins with Luke railing against the concept of dancing:
- Attack on Titan 2 and Jane's Cadet Challenge:
- Andy starts out in-character as a condescending weeb who can't pronounce anything right, leading to words like "aneem" and "Narootoo" and "Doctor Agonball". Eventually Jane corrects him:Andy: If that were true, I'd have been making a fool out of myself for the...last...ten...y...oh, my God...
Jane: And also "Dragon Ball".
- Jane subsequently explains that she didn't correct him because "it was really funny", while Andy laments that he'll never be able to show his face at "Com Icon" again. Eventually they get to the actual game under discussion, which Jane informs him is in fact pronounced "atta kontitan", before having to admit that she was just messing with him.
- Jane's summary of the show: it's about very intense teenagers training and fighting giant naked zombies while wearing cool leather jackets.
- Andy hasn't watched much of the series, so he refers to the characters as things like "Shouting Guy" and "Rubbish Guy".Jane: Armin.
Andy: You knew who I was talking about, though.
- Jane's challenge is to recreate the other Oxboxers in AOT 2.Jane: (on the hair) There's a lot of bad choices.
Mike: That's okay, my hair's quite bad!
- Both of them decide that Luke needs to match Cadet Luke's outfit, including cravat and monocle.
- Jane's mock-up Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning amiibo, which she claims is "old King Amalur himself".Mike: Have you even played Kingdoms of Amalur?
Jane: [looks at him like he's stupid] No, Mike. Nobody has.
- We learn that Mike wears tearaway clothes with a rally driver outfit underneath, in case a "racing situation" suddenly arises.
- Andy starts out in-character as a condescending weeb who can't pronounce anything right, leading to words like "aneem" and "Narootoo" and "Doctor Agonball". Eventually Jane corrects him:
- Far Cry 5 and Luke's Dazzling Dog Squad:
- The opening is shot mostly in black-and-white for that Film Noir feel, until Luke slips up and mentions that he's wearing eyeliner, at which point Ellen demands it go back to normal and so drives off "Evil Luke from the Mirror Universe". Evil Luke's reaction is to hiss like a vampire and run away.Ellen: That Evil Luke is still a thing.
Evil Luke: (from offscreen) STILL A THING!
- Following the credits, it turns out that Luke is very gullible when it comes to the traps set by his evil version.Ellen: There was a box that said 'free cookies' and he trapped you in it!
Luke: Free, though.
- Luke gets very insistent about the deep kinship between his animal companions.Luke: They're best friends, James, and they're ALLIES IN MY WAR!
Andy: They're also going to GET MARRIED!
Luke: They're in love, James, and there's nothing that you or society can say to stop me officiating that wedding!
- In the quiz section, following Luke's travel story, they conclude that Far Cry 6 will be Luke driving along a gravel path!Luke: Also I had the The Lord of the Rings soundtrack on.
Ellen: (dying laughing) Of course you did!
- Ellen's description of Boomer the dog features the word "adorable" three times in quick succession, including one description of Boomer as "an adorable dog who is adorable".
- Ellen admits that she didn't specifically mention that she was collecting dog pictures on Twitter to be selected for Luke's war on Eden's Gate, and cautions the responders to be aware that they may be turning up shortly.
- Said pictures may cause flashbacks to the Palico-Poogie Meltdown with the amount of cooing going on.
- Luke's tendency to bring along any dog conjures up mental images for James of Luke running through the woods of Hope County with thirty dog leads, and leads to the conclusion that Luke's battle plan is to cute enemies to death.
- Luke starts assigning roles to the dogs, including quartermaster, intelligence gathering, and eventually, in the case of a dog who did a great impression of a very fluffy rug, concluded that said dog's job was to infiltrate Father Joseph Seed's base in the guise of a rug and wait for him to disarm himself.Luke: "I'm not their master, I'm just one of the pack. The only one that can hold a bow. And use a phone. And other things that are quite important."
- Luke is eventually permitted to go ahead with reading his fanfiction.Ellen: These aren't even full sentences!
Luke: Oh, I've never written a full sentence. People always stop me halfway through.
- When a commenter claims Andy deserves an Oscar for his performance as Senu, Ellen pulls out a gold statuette and lobs it at him. Andy, in-character, starts to give an acceptance speech."Senu": I'D LIKE T' THANK THE BIG MAN...I'M TALKIN' ABOUT HORUS... AH'D ALSO LIKE T'THANK BAYEK... FOR ALL HIS... ARM IS NICE T'SIT ON... DAAAHHH, AN' ALSO... THANKS TO T'PYRAMIDS F'BEIN' ALL... POINTY AN'... UN-THEY'RE A TRIANGLE...
- The opening is shot mostly in black-and-white for that Film Noir feel, until Luke slips up and mentions that he's wearing eyeliner, at which point Ellen demands it go back to normal and so drives off "Evil Luke from the Mirror Universe". Evil Luke's reaction is to hiss like a vampire and run away.
- God of War and Luke's Fabulous Kratos Beard:
- Luke emerges from the lost island of Tomb Raider references on which he'd spent the previous week looking like he's emerged from the jungles of Vietnam with a broken arm. When he's told that this week will allow him to geek out about The Elder Scrolls lore, he vanishes offstage and returns completely recovered...except that apparently the arm is still broken.
- With God of War going Norse, Ellen asks whether Luke is Hela excited, or Loki excited. This infuriates Andy so much that he attempts to Death Glare them into oblivion, and Ellen takes shelter behind Luke.
- Luke proposes that Death Mountain in Hyrule is the same as Mount Doom in Middle-Earth. Ellen immediately shuts down that line of inquiry.
- Luke asks a question about Solid Snake and even the subtitles read "string of confusing Metal Gear lore".
- During the challenge where Luke must identify videogame characters who now bear Kratos's beard, Ellen pranks Luke by having the "with beard" picture be of Link...and the "without beard" being Doomguy.
- As a bonus question, Ellen displays the Oxbox/Oxtra crew with Kratos beards. Luke is laughing so hard he can barely get out "Andy looks the same!" He also compares his bearded version to a disapproving hardware store owner, while Ellen compares herself plus beard to a Bee Gee.Mike: Why is it attached to my eyebrow?
Ellen: Because you're not looking forwards and I'm not that good at Photoshop.
- Luke starts reading his Kippers/Frozen crossover fanfiction. There's a five-hour Time Skip, and it cuts back in on him reading it, complete with Anna having a robot hand.
- Someone compares Luke to Solaire from Dark Souls 1, and Luke immediately sprouts a hoodie with Solaire's tabard design on it.
- Grand Theft Auto IV and Andy's Drunk-walking Challenge''
- The show opens with Andy gleefully describing his trip to Coachella. Jane is skeptical as soon as she hears that Music/Beyonce stepped on a coach. The show's ending remarks on Andy getting tickets to Burning Man that afternoon. When Jane tells him that Burning Man is not only in August, but also in the United States, Andy realizes he's purchased tickets to a snuff film.
- Andy and Jane's sheer enthusiasm for day drinking with Roman. In fact, they call Roman so they can get Niko drunk enough for the challenge.
- Jane's philosophical musings: Why is it that when you drink vodka in the morning, you're a lush, but if you drink a Bloody Mary, it's just brunch.
- Andy remarks on how proud he is that he is just Loki because of the Ellening he pulled off. Mike remarks that Loki had Baldr killed, had an affair with a horse, and tied his junk to a goat. Immediately making Andy retract.
- Avengers: Infinity War and Luke's Incredible Infinity Gauntlet:
- We open with Ellen stealing an Infinity Stone and attempting to eat it when Luke tries to take it off her.Luke: Do you want me to call you an ambulance?
Ellen: [pained nod]
- Ellen talks about how much fun it is to play Kingdom Hearts I, except Cerberus, who can sod off.
- When Andy mimics Goofy talking about being stuck in the geometry, Luke unleashes an almost perfect "angry, incoherent Donald Duck" imitation.
- There's a quiz on Marvel.Luke: Shazam! Is that Marvel? [receives advice from offscreen] No!note
- One of the questions is "Who is your favourite Marvel hero, and why is it obviously Spider-Man?"
- Luke's reaction to hearing about the "Marvel Noir" universe:Luke: (grinning broadly) Oh, that sounds...rubbish. But also really good.
- Ellen's commentary on Infinity War with the Infinity Stones in the Infinity Gauntlet is interrupted when she mentions that the word "infinity" means nothing to her by now.
- When Luke starts working on turning a rubber glove into an Infinity Gauntlet, he tries it on:Luke: It's a bit of a snug fit.
Ellen: Well, it is for me, so...
Luke: No wonder Thanos is so mad.
- Luke is less than impressed by his masterpiece.Luke: (after the "Infinity Gems" have fallen off) I'm so unhappy. It looks like a really upset squid.
Ellen: (is rendered completely incoherent)
- Then one of the eyes falls off and Ellen almost dies.
- We open with Ellen stealing an Infinity Stone and attempting to eat it when Luke tries to take it off her.
- Hyrule Warriors for the Switch and Jane's Formidable Warrior Quiz:
- We open with Luke having a personal breakdown over not being allowed to go to California to play Kingdom Hearts III and do Disney stuff while Jane, of all people, awkwardly tries to comfort him. Special mention for the Bambi-themed cupcakes.Jane: So what makes these Bambi-themed anyway?
Luke: Oh, I made them with chunks of...actually, don't eat those.
- The next stage of the "Leggle Marvos" Running Gag arrives, with the coming of "Leggle Incredibos".
- There's a lengthy digression on a hypothetical superhero called "Ironbutt".
- Luke concludes that the best use for Shadowcat's phasing power is to "nope" your way out of awkward conversations by falling through the centre of the Earth, and then proposes that she could use her powers to phase out the Earth itself, let everyone just fall into space, and eat all the McDonald's.
- The "Name That Warrior" part of the quiz includes things like Jane jiving to the intros to various shows, including Xena: Warrior Princess, Kesha being referenced because she had an album called "Warrior", and Mike refusing to decide whether Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors was better or worse than Biker Mice from Mars.
- Part two has Luke trying to name as many characters in Hyrule Warriors as possible. It has some awkward bits, like him misremembering Medlii's name and coming up with "Rito Beakface" in a panic.Luke: We have Tingle! That's...upsetting.
- We learn about Oxboxtra Medical School, founded by Jane, which you can definitely trust!Jane: Check out my medical licence.
Luke: This was written by you! On a burger wrapper!
Jane: Oh, there's still some cheese on it. Give it here. (starts trying to eat it off the wrapper while Luke looks terrified)
- We open with Luke having a personal breakdown over not being allowed to go to California to play Kingdom Hearts III and do Disney stuff while Jane, of all people, awkwardly tries to comfort him. Special mention for the Bambi-themed cupcakes.
- Solo: A Star Wars Story and Mike's Kessel Run Attempt:
- In the intro, which has a montage of the stuff Luke and Ellen got up to after seeing Solo, we learn that Ellen is a Sith Lord, culminating in her Force-choking Luke for liking Vin Diesel more than Jason Statham.
- Mike offers to fill in until Ellen finishes looking for Khyber crystals in the woods.Luke: As long as you promise not to Force choke me.
Luke: ...You didn't promise.
Mike: Let's crack on, shall we.
- The moral of the entire first section is that Dark Souls I Remastered is good and "butterflies can burn in tiny insect hell".Andy: They only want to land on you to drink your sweat.
[Luke and Mike appear appropriately nonplussed]
- The quiz is, as usual, somewhat weird. After Luke describes Solo as involving "high adventure in space" and moves to the first question:Mike: Is it 'how can you have high adventure in space when there's no up or down?'
Luke: Well, it is now.
- Luke is a bit surprised that Mike nominated Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter for a solo film, given that Mike once auditioned to be Tom Riddle.
- Mike forgets Faramir's name and describes him as "a less good Aragorn".
- Mike desperately wants to see a hard-hitting sports drama about the Football Koopa from Mario.
- The next question relates to Han's life story in Star Wars, and figuring out which entries are real (across various canons) and which ones Luke made up. It's all true, even ones like running a cinema, spending six months as a stage magician, and negotiating with a space raptor.Mike: This is going to be brilliant.
- They get quite a bit of mileage out of the droid named "Bollux", whose name coincidentally sounds a lot like a British euphemism for testicles.Luke: Would you like to see a picture of Bollux?
Mike: (barely able to keep it together) I thought you'd never ask...
- "Mike's Kessel Run Attempt" consists of him reading in Huttese a letter about going down the corner shop for snacks, then going out with a time limit, in another Xtra quiz that's a naked attempt to get the quiz recipient to do some shopping. When Mike tells Luke that he can pay for the snacks himself and has money, Luke tells him that since that's not what Han would do, he's being docked ten seconds.
- Luke uses dramatic music and commentary about TIE fighters to attempt to make footage of him sitting on a couch while a counter ticks down slightly more thrilling.
- Mike's reward for succeeding is a cut of the profits, namely, one of the bags of snacks.Luke: Taste the smuggler lifestyle.
Mike: (eats one) Tastes like shooting first!
- It turns out that Jane and Mike released ferrets under Andy's bed. Andy is not happy to learn this.
- Luke attempts to be conciliatory.Luke: We all joke around, but it's just personal choice. There are no "wrong decisions" in Life Is Strange.
Jane: [emerges from behind the sofa] Did someone say Life is Strange? Is someone making wrong decisions? 'Cause I'll get them...
- "FLAMINGOS" make a reappearance, with Luke putting on sunglasses and nodding while rock music plays. Mike looks somewhat disconcerted by this, until Luke issues him his own pair of sunglasses, at which point they start nodding in unison.
- Mike has learned a valuable lesson, namely, that nobody involved in Xtra can be trusted around Pikachu.
- "Mario Tennis Aces and Luke's Tabletop Tennis Tournament":
- They open by attempting to travel back in time with the last of the power in their time travel Pikachu and use their notebook full of Death Stranding explanations from E3 to become legendary games journalists. It goes poorly.Luke: Oh, I forgot the notebook.
Ellen: [Face Palm]
- Following the opening, they admit that they filmed the show before E3, and don't know anything about the games.
- Luke gets weirdly dramatic about how Mike doesn't like games that pop up damage numbers, but they do it in Dark Souls!Luke: J'accuse!
- Luke admits that he has poor fine motor control, so he's not good at fiddly things.Luke: Like videogames.
[both crack up]
- When asked how he'd use the ability to slow down time, Luke flirts with tying balloons, before deciding that he'd use it to play face-melting guitar solos. A picture of Dob is put onscreen during his explanation.
- Luke mentions that he Forgets to Eat a lot.Luke: In the studio, Ellen often has to feed me.
Ellen: [dies of terminal split side]
Mike: Grapes...fanning you as well.
Luke: With a large fern. I'm a proper diva.
- The titular tournament features a table, a bunch of dice, and Mario and Luigi figures.Luke: Mario looks like he's surrendering himself to the police.
- Luke's interpretation of Mario is a bit of a poor winner.Luke: (as Mario) That's why I'm the famous brother!
- At the end of the tennis game, they have the two figures shake hands. Ellen holds it in right up until she makes eye contact with the camera, then dissolves into giggles.
- When discussing their most recent choose-your-own-adventure outing, the comment snarks that it's not canon unless Sonic dies of dysentery.Luke: No, but he does turn out to be a penguin at the end.
Ellen: Wait, what? I didn't see that happen - oh, must have happened when the film ran out.
Luke: What the - can we buy more film?! Also, why are we still using film?!
Ellen: Do not question James's methods!
- They open by attempting to travel back in time with the last of the power in their time travel Pikachu and use their notebook full of Death Stranding explanations from E3 to become legendary games journalists. It goes poorly.
- Mario + Rabbids Donkey Kong and Luke's Wild World Cup Quiz:
- Luke starts out going on and on and on and on about beating Dark Souls I, culminating in him claiming that the SAS should recruit Dark Souls players due to their superior reflexes...then attempts an UnnecessaryCombatRoll off the sofa and breaks his collarbone.Luke: I promise I've only been, like, half that insufferable in real life.
- Ellen rocks Luke's world with the news that Rabbid Cranky Kong exists.
- When they're performing the World Cup music a cappella, Ellen adds lyrics about how she's just realised that all the Americans will be confused.
- The disclaimer for the World Cup Quiz Cup:Luke: If you can't stand football, then sorry, and if you love football, then also sorry.
- Ellen's Rousing Speech needs a little work.Ellen: You've got those three lions, I know you can roar! Now roar for me, not literally, everyone'll think it's weird outside. But you get back on that pitch in that second half and you do a goal, okay?
- Luke puts weird dramatic emphasis on how Mike played the game for them, because he was the only one who owned a copy of FIFA 2018.
- They conclude that Hideo Kojima has been messing with the timeline. It's hard to disagree.
- Luke starts out going on and on and on and on about beating Dark Souls I, culminating in him claiming that the SAS should recruit Dark Souls players due to their superior reflexes...then attempts an UnnecessaryCombatRoll off the sofa and breaks his collarbone.
- "Ghost of Tsushima and Luke's Knights of the Old Republic Jedi Personality Quiz": The entire saga of the Powerful Buttnote .Luke: There's nothing funny about butts, Ellen.
Ellen: laughs harder
"Master, I'm angry—I fear I'm slipping to the dark side." [cheerfully] "Don't! ...Have you tried being the perfect Jedi? Like me? It's simple!"
- Luke's impression of Obi-wan Kenobi being supremely unhelpful during the prequel films.
"I just worry about Padme, Master." "Don't! I don't worry about her!"
- Just Cause 4 and Luke's Propaganda Broadcast Challenge:
Luke: That should give them something to think about.
- Luke's tenure as Medici's propaganda minister gets off to a shaky start when, informed of Rico Rodrieguez's latest badass act of rebellion against the government, he spends a few minutes musing about how dreamy Rico is, what with his square jaw and manly stubble.
- The first broadcast doesn't go so well either; tasked with putting a positive propagandist spin on Rico destroying a broadcast tower and a petrol station, Luke first forgets that he's not actually supposed to call himself "propaganda minister" on air, then ends up moaning at length about the waste of petrol.
Andy: Yep. Absolutely. They certainly won't be thinking that was good.
- Two Point Hospital and Mike's Surgical Showdown:
Luke: Well, Mike, when you get hit with swords, you can die twice, or you can seek the help of a doctor...
- The episode starts out with Luke sharing a comment on the previous episode that wonders if Mike had lost Ellen at Gamescom. Mike lets out a very fake and forced laugh before being forced to explain that he had told her to stay where he could see her, that he was only at the pretzel stand for ten minutes, and the entire situation wouldn't have happened if Ellen hadn't scratched out her tracking chip. Luke's response is I'll Pretend I Didn't Hear That.
- Luke awkwardly tries to shift topic from Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice to Two Point Hospital.
Mike: I...these segues are incredible. You are on fire. And you haven't even finished this one, and I'm so excited about where it's gonna go.
Luke: Well, if you're on fire, there's also one place you should go.
Mike: Is it a hospital?
Luke: It's the hospital! Let's talk about Two Point Hospital.
- Spider-Man PS4 and the Great Spidey Quiz:
- The opening has Luke reading a promotional copy of the Daily Bugle under the impression it's a real newspaper, a belief of which Ellen has to disabuse him.Luke: Are you telling me Nelson & Murdoch isn't a real legal agency?!
Luke: Then what number did I call...and who's representing me in court this afternoon?
Andy: Heeeeey, Bud Fensler, attorney at law, you owe me eleven thousand dollars!
Luke: I'm going to prison!
Andy: Yes you are.
- Luke shares an in-play incident involving the Spider-Punk outfit, in which a dramatic cutscene involving MJ looks like her first encounter with Spidey's radically different, bad new look.
- Ellen puts some very dramatic emphasis on the phrase "Arkham trilogy"note .
- Luke goes into a lot of detail on his idea for a game for his own OC, Plant Nutrition Boy.
- Ellen's planned obstacle course for Luke during the quiz was apparently "outside of [their] budget" and "not even remotely covered by [their] insurance", so instead that becomes another quiz, administered to both of them by Andy. Through the magic of editing, Andy begins by appearing directly in between them, with a laptop and a grim expression.Andy: That's right, it's me. The Spider-Man knower.
Ellen: His name is Peter, not Noah! (dies)
Luke: That makes me think of, like, the Bible Noah, but with a Spider-Man in it.
Ellen: (dies again but louder)
- Andy's first sequence of questions involves Peter's four costumes from the Identity Crisis arc, in which Luke dubs the Prodigy identity "Bad Wolverine", before attempting to learn more about it with a question that is actually a knee-slapper, in that Ellen started laughing so hard that she was actually slapping her knee.Luke: If that's a suit, it is no thicker than clingfilm. Can you see his nipples? (leans in very close) No.
Andy: (leans in very close) ...No.
- Neither of the usual hosts apparently knows that Carnage exists, leading to a lot of [X] Venom names, including the extremely 90s "Bloodvenom" from Ellen.Luke: ...Toxic? Poison?
Andy: I mean, you're thinking like a Nineties comic creator.
- An ironic one from the YouTube ad algorithm: a gag of them rediscovering the Cyber Jane Incident and playing puking sound effects is instantly followed by an ad...which can be an ad for McDonald's. Perhaps not the association they were hoping for.
- In one of the outtakes, a truth about Ellen is cruelly, cruelly exposed:
- The opening has Luke reading a promotional copy of the Daily Bugle under the impression it's a real newspaper, a belief of which Ellen has to disabuse him.
- Assassin's Creed: Odyssey and Jane's London is Lava Challenge: Mike discusses his newfound historical learning courtesy AC:O, namely, that the Spartans kicked the [Sound-Effect Bleep] out of everything, and how he talked about it with Andy.Jane: Oh yeah, I was wondering why he took a sick day. In the Reason box, he'd just written "rage".
- Ellen vs. Shadow of the Tomb Raider and the Assassin's Creed: Odyssey Road Trip:
- Ellen has a lot of thoughts on Shadow of the Tomb Raider, most of them bad, and she wants you to know them.Ellen: [After fifteen minutes of complaints] However, I have just ranted about this, and... if you want the full lowdown [Luke starts shaking his head frantically and making "cut the mike!" gestures] I will happily sit and... [Starts giggling] You will be there for hours, okay.
Luke: You're watching the edited version. Let me tell you: you don't want the full lowdown. Avoid the lowdown!
- Ellen's first proposal for a road trip companion is Kassandra, who, since she has some influence over Kassandra's actions, would no doubt side with her on things like the choice of music. At this point, we learn that Luke is a bit out of touch with modern pop music, since his first thought is The Beastie Boys, and Ellen starts ribbing him about it.
- When Ellen nominates the Frye twins as the other two members of her road trip crew, Luke draws some conclusions about the likely dynamic there:Luke: It'd be like (childish voice) "Elleeeen! Kassandraaa! Jacob drank my juuuice!"
Ellen: Evie wouldn't be like that. She'd be whacking Jacob with a cane.
Luke: And you'd all be like, 'Shut up, Jacob. Shut up, Jacob, and listen to Procol Harum.'
Ellen: (is literally doubled over with laughter)
- Ellen kicked a bear in Odyssey and Mike was there.Ellen: Fun fact, Mike will not shut up about that. Anyone who says "oh, I played Assassin's Creed: Odyssey", he goes, "Did you kick a bear in the face? Ellen did! It was great!" He's like a proud dad!
Luke: Smiling from the touch line. "See that, other dads? That's my Ellen! Oh, was that bear your son?"
- Luke confesses that his information on which animal has the deadliest kick came from a BBC article that was clearly aimed at young children.
- Ellen pantomimes snake hair rather strangely when Medusa comes up.Luke: Literally turned every viewer to stone.
Ellen: Aw, man. How are they going to click the Like button?
Luke: They'll fall on it, like CLANG. (imitates this)
- Luke brings up a Greek myth that attempts to explain why Athenians have small butts. Ellen almost laughs herself to death.
- Ellen has a lot of thoughts on Shadow of the Tomb Raider, most of them bad, and she wants you to know them.
- Hitman 2 Reaction and the Flamingo Murder Challenge:
- Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee and Ellen's Poke-Style Salon Challenge:
- The intro has Ellen, after gushing about Ryan Reynolds' acting in the Pokémon Detective Pikachu trailer (causing Luke to burst into tears), sacks him and attempts to replace him with Ryan Reynolds...only to ask him back because it turns out that big Hollywood stars are expensive.
- Ellen mentions that the tall, spindly, brown-haired main character in Steppy Pants reminds her of someone she knows. Luke immediately guesses that it's him, and Ellen lets out an unconvincing but high-pitched denial squeak. Luke actually gets a bit upset because all the faces in Steppy Pants look terrifying, but immediately comes around upon seeing the game in action.Ellen: He's very long, and a bit gangly.
Luke: This game is amazing.
- The Power Rangers top gets Luke really fired up.
- Ellen praises the way that the microtransactions in Steppy Pants aren't too grabby or obnoxious, except for one thing: a dog onesie. She subsequently has multiple failures in a row because they were showing off a koala onesie and she got distracted.
- Luke proposes a slogan of "Steppy Pants! Step into your pants!"
- When Luke announces that they're moving onto the actual title topic for the video, Ellen goes "Pika!", Luke adds an "Eevee!", and then both just double over laughing. Then they end up producing a rather deeper and more boisterous version of the name than Eevee would stereotypically use, which causes mass Corpsing from in front of and behind the camera and becomes a Running Gag.
- When Ellen mentions that Pikachu is one of their unofficial mascots, Luke emphasises for the benefit of Nintendo that she said unofficial.
- When Ellen actually picks Eevee, she dissolves into cute-animal gibberish in which only the words "fluffy" and "tail" are actually decipherable. Then Luke demands that she justify her choice to a toy Pikachu, setting off a chain of events that culminates in Luke rocking the Pikachu toy to "sleep".Luke: Why am I rocking Pikachu like a baby?
Ellen: I don't know.
- Never let it be said that Ellen lacks self-awareness: her strategy for defeating herself in a mirror match would be to make herself laugh and cause a draw through mutual incapacity.
- Ellen has to make a little light banter with a Charizard, played by Luke Westaway, while drawing a new haircut on a picture. Luke ends up laughing so hard at it that he has trouble getting his next line out. Also, said new haircut is inspired by, of all people, Brian May.
- Luke takes full advantage of the opportunity to ham it up while getting in-character as the various pokemon, including a Popplio (adorable circus seal creature) that wants to look a bit "edgy".Luke: (as Popplio) I'm sorry, by the way, that my voice keeps drifting all over the place.
- Luke realises in the middle of admiring Popplio's new 'do that the standard Popplio image looks like it's taking a selfie.
- In-character as Popplio, Luke mentions that he's upset that he's unpopular and people keep going for Litten (a cat that is on fire) instead.Luke: (as Popplio) You've given me the confidence to kill that cat, thank you!
Ellen: (in a very worried voice) Uh, have a nice day?
- The final Pokemon is Mr Mime. Luke ends up communicating through charades, which are somehow still very hammy, and Ellen ends up giving it an Elvis 'do.
- Luke's non-apology to Spyro the Dragon fans gets him sent to the corner.
- Smash Bros Ultimate and Luke's Pikachu-Busting Final Smash:
- Luke's imitation of the classic Tetris defeat is so funny Ellen asks him to do it again.Ellen: It's like an angry cat doing jazz hands!
- Tetris Effect has great power.Luke: I played Tetris Effect last night for just a little bit just before I was going to bed, and then between putting it down and actually going to bed, I was like, 'I don't want to look at Twitter.'
Ellen: oh my god i need this game
- Luke is asked to use his Final Smash (turning into Dob and using lightning death) on a Pikachu toy. He is very sad about this for about four seconds, and then starts going into slightly disturbing amounts of detail on the situation.
- We return to what Luke dubs the "Smash Blue Whale Expanded Universe".
- Oxtra looks like a really neat job: at one point Luke is drawing Smash Blue Whale's brother, and Ellen gets her Switch out and starts playing Let's Go Eevee.
- Ellen gets very distracted by the sound Eevee makes in Let's Go Eevee, eventually concluding that the pronunciation is a bit odd because Eevee is Brummie.
- "How would a blue whale fight? ...Savagely." - Luke Westaway, expert in marine biology
- Ellen nearly tears up at the prospect of Eevee learning a self-damaging move like Take Down.
- This exchange:Ellen: (playing with Eevee on the screen) Still not over this. Why are they not real?
Luke: [cracks up]
- They have difficulty picking an appropriate scapegoat for Swell Blue Whale (or "Swhale", thanks Ellen) to hit, until Ellen mentions disliking R.O.B.
- Luke messes up his "Blackmail" Is Such an Ugly Word claims about harvesting all the Little Sisters in Bioshock.Luke: "Harvested" is such a harsh word...I prefer "murdered"...no wait, go back to "harvested". Let's move on.
- We learn that in reality Ellen is only about three inches tall and gets scaled up to appear in the same shots as Luke.
- Luke's imitation of the classic Tetris defeat is so funny Ellen asks him to do it again.
- New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe on Switch and Luke's Peachette Art Challenge:
- It turns out that after a reference to kippers on RDR 2 Luke has been playing it for three weeks straight.
- Luke laments that he thinks he's hit a wall in Into the Breach because he can't make himself any smarter.
- Ellen jokes that New Super Mario Bros U feels like a new Mario game because nobody actually bought a Wii U.
- During the quiz, Luke concludes that the power from New Super Mario Bros U he'd like is immunity to fall damage, but concludes that after showing it off at the Grand Canyon, he would be dissected by the government.
- The elephant, or rather spiky turtle-monster, in the room is addressed:note Ellen: Speaking of Peachette, when the trailer initially dropped, some wondered what would happen if Bowser picked up the Super Crown, and thus Bowsette was born, bringing life to lots of amazing fanart, much of which we will never be able to show on YouTube. (starts giggling)
Luke: (with a thousand-yard stare) Yeah.
Ellen: Some of it's like, "ah, that's really cool," and some of it's like —
Both: (panicky) "OOOOH!"
Ellen: "I'm going to have to delete my browsing history, aren't I?" [beat] Or my Bowser history!
- Luke is subsequently tasked to create his own [Character]ette art.Luke: Oh my gosh! Well, I'll try and make my drawing safe for work.
Ellen: Unlike everyone else.
- Luke attempts to figure out the best option on his theoretically blind selection by speculating about various numbers and seeing which ones make Ellen giggle more.
- Luke's Yoshette design is, perhaps thankfully, "adorable" rather than "sexy", but some of Luke's ideas for the diamond-encrusted shell were a bit weird: using it to grind Mario's legs down to nothing, for example.
- Everyone's a critic:Luke: Oh no, Andy's here! [hides his picture] We're doing normal things!
Andy: What on Earth have you drawn?!
Luke: We're doing normal things! I'm a normal adult man!
Andy: It looks like a praying mantis!
Luke: To the untrained eye!
- Yoshette is every inch a queen:Luke: And you'll see, in Yoshi's tongue, where once there was basic fruit, there is now a sceptre, that Yoshette will use to wallop people about the head if they dare to cross her or displease her in court.
- Luke insists that we can all agree that what he's done is good and normal.Andy: I'm leaving now.
Luke: I don't think Andy's coming back, guys.
- Resident Evil 2 Remake and Luke's Rocking Resi Challenge:
- The opening gag is that Andy is filling in for Ellen because the Yoshette incident proves they need closer supervision. This results in Luke attempting to eat a Booette picture he's drawn.Andy: What's on that paper?
Luke: (with it clearly poking out of his mouth) What paper?
- Luke is once again asked to put a positive spin on terrible things, this time on behalf of the Umbrella Corporation. He comments that with the pace at which things go wrong in Umbrella's experiments, he may as well just call a press conference at any random point and something awful will have happened by the time everyone's there.
- Problem one: Umbrella scientist turning himself into a leech monster and draining people's blood. Spin one: telling the reporters to let him do his job. Cue awkward interaction with the reporter Andy is pretending to be.Luke: See you at the Media Awards next week. [beat] How are the kids?
Andy: They're leeches now.
- Luke's reaction to the deaths of 100,000 people in the destruction of Raccoon City is peevishness.Andy: The thermobaric missile, it just hit in Raccoon City, it's devastated the city! A hundred thousand people! How does Umbrella respond?
Luke: Yeah, I mean...I'm annoyed on a number of fronts! One, sorry to the people in Raccoon - no wait, "sorry" is legally binding sometimes. Um...Bad luck to the people in Raccoon City, that's unfortunate.
- Luke and Andy rocking out on air instruments to the Resi 2 ending theme.
- The Resi 2 ending theme With Lyrics.Luke: Jill, you are a hero, Barry, you were there too...
Andy: He was also there...
- The comments include snark about Luke's habit of adopting every NPC he takes a shine to as one of Dob's children.Andy: Tell me one thing about caring for children.
Luke: Don't feed them after midnight.
Andy: That's Gremlins.
- Andy's attempts to prevent more [X]ette characters get a little silly.Andy: In fact, no more clipboard for you! [throws it away]
Luke: You can't stop me drawing it in my mind!
Andy: Yes I can!
[cue the two of them squinting very hard in an attempt at psychic combat]
- The opening gag is that Andy is filling in for Ellen because the Yoshette incident proves they need closer supervision. This results in Luke attempting to eat a Booette picture he's drawn.
- The Terror and Jane vs. Luke in the Assassin Inventing Competition:
- Jane laughs off suspicion that she infected Ellen with the T-Virus, because the T-Virus is for scrubs and when she actually unleashes something it'll be the JD Virus.Luke: Oh, you brought it in to the studio. Should you be wearing gloves while handling that?
- When they discuss Return Of The Obra Dinn, Luke wonders if the cause of death entry has an "all of the above" button.
- Luke likes the sound of the game, but first he has to finish the other thing he's doing involving "crime, death, old boats, and trying to figure out what happened involving death and old boats": The Terror, which Luke praises for having the finest coats on television.
- Luke's latest weird theory is that the more pompous Victorian sentences were an attempt to buy time for the speaker to think up what they were going to say next. In the process, he invents the word "extendulate".
- Neither Luke nor Jane has a quiz this week, so Andy emerges from behind the sofa with one.Luke: How long have you been behind there?
Andy: Too long.
- It turns out that there are some really weird video games out there.Luke: That sounds really dumb, but plausible.
- When the time comes to design assassins, Luke attempts to cut ribbon with his teeth.
- It turns out that Luke is very easily influenced by topics of conversation: his assassin is an old-timey admiral with cannons for arms.Luke: He'd be blown apart.
Andy: Napoleon Blownaparte.
Luke: That's what I should have called him!
- Jane's assassin is Lonny Graceland, a glitter-encrusted teenage Japanese Elvis impersonator who ice-skates and has a microphone that shoots fireworks.
- Apparently Andy's space behind the sofa is a Bottomless Pit.
- Andy's moral victory dance.Jane: He'll wear himself out, Luke.
- Just as Luke is going on about how Andy can't censor their audience's [X]ette fanart, Andy takes the book they use as a prop during fanart session and has to be coaxed to give it back.
- The first and only piece of fanart in that vein is Dobette.Jane: There's a lot to unpack. And then repack hastily. Deep down in my subconscious.
Andy: And put in the attic. And then lock the attic.
- Both Jane and Luke nearly get lost in Dobette's huge lilac eyes.Luke: I should probably close this book now.
- Jane laughs off suspicion that she infected Ellen with the T-Virus, because the T-Virus is for scrubs and when she actually unleashes something it'll be the JD Virus.
- Resident Evil 2 Review and Andy's Real Life Zombie Challenge: Mike has an idea!
- Crackdown 3 Really Exists!:
- Mike insists that the green sofa was recovered from a spooky shop that is probably haunted and that's why the studio is cold...not because he spent the heating bill money on toy cars.
- The title subject is introduced by Andy insisting that Crackdown 3 isn't real and Jane might as well have invited him to come and see a unicorn. Mike tells him that there was a press release and everything.[Beat]
Andy bolts for the door
Mike: Give me a call if the unicorn is real too!
- A discussion of cloud multiplayer is interrupted by Andy crashing the in-game car.Jane: That explosion not brought to you by the cloud, but by local processing only.
- Andy is weirdly obsessed with agility orbs.
- This exchange:Mike: I only just got this couch from the haunted mystery store thing!
Andy: ...I can't keep up with our internal chronology. It's like the Marvel cinematic universe.
- Andy mentions that wearing a chest-mounted GoPro makes him walk and pose weirdly in order to keep his chest pointed at whatever is going on.
- Andy wants you to know that he didn't invent "Likehog Day".Mike: Pretty sure you did.
- Pikuniku, Kingdom Hearts III and Ellen's Complicated Kingdom Hearts Quiz:
- Andy skipped doing the Kingdom Hearts supplementary reading for the quiz because he was watching Youtube tutorials on how to dab. He nevertheless insists it was worth it, even when he attempts to dab and hits himself in the face.
- When Luke tells a little white lie to Ellen that Andy did, in fact, do the reading, Ellen informs him that she knows when he's lying, and she'll be making the quiz more difficult to punish him.Ellen: You have made a powerful enemy.
- Andy has a little trouble believing that Pikuniku is a real game that exists.
- The Pikuniku discussion goes weird places.Luke: The last thing you want to do is put any sort of UV barrier between you and Super Mario Sunshine. You want to absorb it in all its radiance. You want it to crisp up your skin real nice.
- Andy insists on traumatising Luke by bringing up FLUDD dying.
- Andy has got this quiz, you guys.Andy: Unfortunately Ellen can't be with us today, but she has sent ahead this quiz which I understand.
Luke: [Laughing] Well, that clears that up.
Luke: Let no man say...
Andy: Let there be no confusion... I fully understand the Kingdom Hearts series. [...] So Luke, allow me to read my own words.
- All the mid-tier Disney karaoke.
- Fittingly, there's a moment of confusion about who, if anyone, is saying that Kingdom Hearts has a complicated story.
- Luke is asked to chronologically order the Kingdom Hearts games, an achievement roughly on par with figuring out quantum physics by banging a couple of rocks together. This is not helped by Andy talking at length about which games have been remastered with new content.Luke: I'm just going to draw a picture of Donald Duck while you keep going.
[fades out, then back in]
Andy: Why's his arm on backwards?
- Luke's eventual reasoning is that he figured out what he thoughtnote were the first three, and concluded that Kingdom Hearts 3 was probably the most recent, and then filled in every number between 3 and 13 at random. This earns him a grand total of one point out of a possible 13.Luke: Nailed it!
- Luke bursts out laughing during a question because he always forgets that Goofy is a major character.
- Luke solves a problem with his rudimentary French skills.
- A couple of Ellenings are delivered by proxy when it turns out that some of the locations in question are in Kingdom Hearts games - but the question was specifically about Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2, none of the other ones.
- Luke mentions that The Great Mouse Detective is an extremely underrated film in his humble opinion.Editor's Note: And Ellen's not so humble opinion.
- Luke and Andy start riffing on Disney's disregard for The Great Mouse Detective and the idea of a secret pro-Basil resistance at Disney theme parks.
- Andy finds Squid Donald from the KH series' visits to Atlantica disconcerting.Andy: I don't like his pose. It's too confident.
- Luke reduces Andy to helpless laughter by proposing that Donald, in the Bambi universe, would be the hunter who shot Bambi's mother.
- "Oh my God! I INVENTED MOVIES!" - Luke Westaway, 2019
- Luke proposes that Mike would be worried about how installing a minigun on his car would throw off the weight balance.
- Metro Exodus and Luke's Loud Locomotive:
- Andy disappears into the snow while sad music plays. Again.
- Luke knows exactly how to sell Ellen on a videogame: he shows her the cute dog in Wargroove. It works.
- Ellen is charmed when Luke defends attacking a dog unit in Wargroove with "They were bad dogs Ellen!"
- Luke theatrically drops his Switch joycons when he's told he'll be quizzed on Metro Exodus.
- The quiz is mostly about trains. Luke had, that day, described train tracks as "floor lines".
- Cameraman James is amazed to learn that trains do not run on coal any more. This leads to Luke explaining advances in train technology to him.
- Luke picks his favourite train to ride in videogames by saying that he's sure that the Frye twins' train in Assassin's Creed: Syndicate wouldn't get good internet access. Since his choice was from The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, Ellen is a bit incredulous:Ellen: Do you think Hyrule has wi-fi?!
Luke: Oh, yeah. Great wi-fi.
Ellen: (You can probably guess at this point)
- This eventually mutates into proposing that Zelda is just looking up a walkthrough.
- Yet another Ellening is deployed, with Luke's choice being wrong because Thomas The Tank Engine has video games.
- The video-game topic comes back in surprising fashion with Luke having to do himself as a post-apocalyptic Thomas the Tank Engine design.
- Luke knows how to prioritise:Luke: The difficult bit will be making the face not creepy, because Thomas the Tank Engine, much as I love him, if you look at him for too long, you lose your mind.
Ellen: Time's started.
- Ellen takes the opportunity of Luke doing his post-apocalyptic trainsona to explain how trains actually work.
- Luke adds "one more thing", which reduces Ellen to hysterics the moment she realises what it is.
- The final train design includes a little stick-figure rock band on top just because. The guitar and drums are understandable; the clarinet and baby grand piano are a little harder to justify.
- They end up repeatedly acappella-ing Luke's post-apocalyptic theme.
- When the topic shifts to The Lion King, Luke starts wondering who he'd be in it, and then his attempts to position himself as Simba are brutally shut down:Ellen: Zazu.
Luke: No! Timon or better!
Luke: [very disgruntled expression]
- Anthem Reaction and PAX East News:
- Andy explains the convoluted preorder scheme to a bewildered Jane.Jane: Can I just buy it? In a box?
Andy: 'Box'. What is 'box'?
- "This is the bit that's sort of like Mass Effect only less romanceable."
- Andy explains that Bioware took the sting off the lack of romanceable NPC's by making all of them annoying.
- The conversation keeps coming back to how at least the characters' facial animations look good now!
- Andy and Mike speculate on other topics they could do videos on, such as cars or wrestling. Mike dubs the latter "Outside X-Pac".
- The entire digression on the name Tony Redgrave.
- Mike is upset that Toby Fox is hogging all of the talent, since he's good at music and game design.
- Andy explains the convoluted preorder scheme to a bewildered Jane.
- Tetris Battle Royale, Anthem, and Ellen's Egg-Drop Challenge:
- Ellen's rules for Pokemon Battle Royale need work.Ellen: (holding a fistful of cards) You start off with 99 Pokemon, and then when the game, starts, I throw them all in your face!
Luke: (looks at the camera with a deadpan expression)
- When the video starts in earnest, they're picking up the last of the cards, and one of them is stuck in Luke's hair. He insists that it should remain there to mark how he was wronged, then pulls it out and tosses it offscreen with a comically disgruntled expression.
- Everyone gets really invested in the Tetris battle royale experience, to the point where Cameraman Jon is subtitled as having "indecipherable excited noises".
- Luke explains the reason they sometimes have trouble with remote controllers:Luke: We're in a studio, and there are a lot of wi-waves in the air. I don't wanna get too technical...
- Jon has an observation.Jon: It's bad when you can see that death is coming...
Luke: Yes, Jon, it is bad when you can see death is coming. We're still talking about Tetris, right? I'm in palliative Tetris care. Death is inevitable.
Luke: Yeah. 'Outside Xtra. Death is inevitable! And now Tetris.'
- "At no point in Tetris Effect did I scream the words 'Attack the weak'" - Luke Westaway, 2019
- Luke's review:Luke: I'm staggered that they made it, I'm even more upset that it's quite good."
- As Ellen lists games she hasn't finished, the boxes appear on-screen until she's completely invisible behind them.Luke: You have unfortunately picked the longest games in the world.
- The logical connections between questions and the actual game are even more abstruse than is usual for Oxtra: the mechs being named Javelins leads to a question about the Olympics, for example.
- After Luke has explained that "horse long jump" and "solo synchronised swimming" (a concept that almost manages to Logic Bomb Ellen out of existence) are real Olympic sports that have actually happened at least once, the penny drops:Ellen: Are you ellening me?
- Luke has some trouble with Belgian names, although to be fair the name in question was Constant Octave von Langhendonck.
- Luke's attempt at voicing Ethan the Egg.
- We introduce another new unit, with Ethan having to survive a drop from "Luke height".Ellen: He's not going to survive any of this!
- Luke lists the ingredients, including blu-tac:Luke: I don't know if they call it blu-tac in the US or elsewhere in the world, it's that sort of sticky blue...tac.
- Luke isn't helping:Luke: It looks like you're disposing of a corpse! Hopefully with a helping of butter, salt and a frying pan...
- "I think we can all agree that this relates strongly to Anthem, though..." - Luke, while watching Ellen wrap a Solo cup in duct tape
- Luke is still not encouraging:Luke: So this is Ethan's coffin, I mean Javelin.
- We get an excessive amount of drama, including an Instant Slo-Mo Replay of a taped-up Solo cup landing on the ground.
- The comment-reading gives us Oxtra's new slogan: "That would have been cool if you'd done it."
- Ellen's rules for Pokemon Battle Royale need work.
- Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice Reaction:
- When Mike pulls out his new Phantom White controller, Jane introduces the latest thing, the "Phantom Clear" controller, which has clear buttons and internals. Despite the Phantom Clear controller being 1) impossible and 2) clearly just Jane holding her hands about controller-width apart, Mike still offers her money for it.
- Mike has been playing Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice.
- Jane suggests that if the dragonrot disease is spread by your character dying, then Wolf should just stay home.Mike: It's the only responsible thing to do. I'm gonna go and throw the game disc out the window.
- They have trouble figuring out the past tense of "git gud".
- When they talk about playing Silver Chains for the year's Hallowstreamnote Andy keeps getting confused with Silverchair.
- Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice and Luke's Shinobi Stealth Challenge:
- Pom Pom Kirby has learned a new trick: playing catch. Luke wants to play too.Luke: What's he holding, by the way?
Ellen: A housebrick.
Luke: A housebri- (a foam brick smacks him in the arm) Ow!
- Afterwards, some dubiously synced crunching sounds are added in to sell the realism of the brick. It's not all that convincing, mostly because it sounds less like Luke rapping it with his knuckles and more like two bricks being smacked together. Then it's thrown off to the side accompanied by a breaking-glass effect.
- Luke is bizarrely enthused about destroying a couple of petrified bystandards in Devil May Cry 5.
- He also appears comically disgusted by the admittedly fairly gross Nidhogg Hatchling mechanic.
- Ellen starts attempting to jump over a fancy hotel bar in a DMC level to get at the wine behind it.
- Luke remains the master of segues:Luke: From one crazy action game with a robot arm to another, only instead of crazy it's just hard and sad. It's time for Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice!
- From Software are described as purveyors of "computer games". Even Luke isn't sure why he wrote that.
- Luke gets philosophical:Luke: (after outling how Nintendo Hard From Software games are) As such, question one of this quiz is also quite tricky! Ellen: what does it mean to live a good life?
- When asked to choose the axe, spear or umbrella prosthetic effect, Ellen goes for the umbrella, because she's British.
- "I hate umbrellas, but we've not got time to go into why." - Luke Westaway, 2019
- Ellen gets a little bit sad when Luke's quiz features her befriending a skeleton, only to lose touch.
- Luke gets a bit into Captain Obvious territory when he essentially describes stealth as requiring moving stealthily.
- There's some speculation on whether Mike is a Weeping Angel:Ellen: Don't put me back in the past, I can't live without the internet!
- We add another catchphrase to the list, with Luke picking up "Everyone fight me at once".
- Pom Pom Kirby has learned a new trick: playing catch. Luke wants to play too.
- Pax East 2019: Andy and Jane go into detail on Thunder in Paradise, which is a bit like a deep dive into a topic and a bit like spiralling into madness.Jane: (laughing) He's a mercenary who lives in a Disney resort!
Andy: We've thought more about Thunder in Paradise than anyone has for the last fifteen years, guaranteed.
- Yoshi's Crafted World and Luke's Crafted Yoshi Abomination:
- Luke succumbs to Cuteness Proximity for the game, and Ellen mentions that she finds bushbabies so cute that they actually cause her physical pain. So Luke makes a joke that one's gotten loose and is burrowing into her stomach like some sort of reverse xenomorph.
- Luke goes to surprising effort to reproduce Yoshi's eating noise.
- They conclude that a zombie Thwomp would sort of crash land and explode into goo.
- The aim challenge is a bit silly.Luke: Leading the target, leading the target...[misses]
- Crafting the Yoshi abomination proves to be, itself, quite difficult, to the point where both Ellen and John end up helping out, and the timer still goes into negatives. And even after all that Yoshi looks like he's doing the Kermit the Frog crumple-mouth expression.Luke: Why did I just cut that in half? Literally what is the plan?
Luke: You know what? Yoshi doesn't need legs.
- The Yoshibomination manages its first kill when Luke has it wave goodbye and its tongue falls out. Victim: Ellen. Cause of death: Laughing too hard.
- Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and Luke's Tricky Trial:
- We open with a groggy and jetlagged Ellen, having fallen asleep on a piece of paper, being woken up by an insufferably chirpy Luke. After the opening theme, Luke has to help her unstick the paper from her head, at which point he looks concerned at the page, scrunches it up, and throws it away.
- During a discussion of the series' terrible Punny Names:Ellen: Oh no, I have to think of a good pun on the spot.
Luke: You really don't, because they haven't.
- Ellen's eventual conclusion is that she would be "Justine Overbar" because she's short and would only barely be visible over the bar.
- We learn that Ellen chose not to learn archaeology because she was worried she'd break her legs and accidentally destroy things. This culminates in Luke proposing literal Disaster Dominoes with terracotta warriors.
- Luke's mock trial of Mike is a bit weird, even overlooking the ham-acting: Luke is a Hanging Judge who intends to put Mike to death for stealing Easter eggs, he has to pause for a moment because he left the key documents outside, the black and white "security camera footage" has Mike's face from their livestream thumbnails plastered on top in full colour, and Luke's glowing praise of Andy as a perfectly law-abiding living saint has Ellen squinting suspiciously before he even finishes talking. For bonus points, Andy is literally wearing a "ROGUE" T-shirt and eating the evidence when he walks in.
- Andy's testimony features a deliberately stilted delivery, which is hilarious given that he uses the phrase "getting shredded like a champion".
- Andy's tearful confession goes a bit off the rails:Andy: (fake-distraught) I should be put to death and so should Mike!
- The really worrying part is that the judge concurs, and sentences everyone concerned to death.Andy: I'll kill Mike and then the police can kill me.
- Little Friends Dogs & Cats and Ellen's Resident Evil Sandwich:
- Again: read the title.
- The opening has Luke insist that a Rage 2 promo toy is completely harmless, leading directly to the (offscreen) accidental maiming of a seagull, while feathers drift in front of the camera.
- Luke explains that they just won't do an opening for the video, and he'll definitely remember to tell cameraman John that it should be cut. Yeah, about that.
- When Luke boots up the game of the title, Ellen immediately starts her usual Cuteness Proximity Squeeing. Luke's in-game puppy Herbert is particularly effective at provoking it.Luke: Ellen, are you going to be okay?
Ellen: (awkwardly) Uh-huh...
- The entire visit to the item shop, particularly when Luke puts a Santa hat on Herbert.Luke: But it's not Christmas! We can't! We mustn't.
- Luke imagines Herbert is a "cool '90s teen dog".
- Luke plays with the dog:Luke: This is a 1-star sound bone, which is my new Twitter bio.note
- Herbert levels up and learns the "Give Paw" gesture. Both key members of Oxtra respond as though this is the most significant news of the season, with Ellen flinching backwards and clutching at her heart.Luke: Oh my god. This is not a drill.
- While tugging on Herbert's cheeks and going "who's a good dog":Luke: If you do this too much, he calls the RSPCA.
- Herbert keeps refusing to pee where he's supposed to when he's taken for a walk. Dog owners can relate.
- When they enter Herbert in a frisbee competition, Ellen is very competitive and wants to "destroy" the other dogs...right up until she sees them, at which point the usual cooing returns.
- Both of them get very invested in the competition, although Luke does lament that there's no option to give Herbert a consolatory pat if he misses the frisbee.
- The segue from "cute puppy antics" to "Zombie Apocalypse" is a tricky one, and Luke doesn't quite nail it.
- The quiz today is structured as an interview for Ellen to join STARS. It goes poorly.Luke: Do you have what it takes?
- The first question is a fakeout: at first it sounds like Luke is asking Ellen what STARS stands for, prompting her to collapse, clutching at her head, at which point it turns out that the actual question is what Ellen thinks STARS should stand for. This, too, goes poorly.Ellen: Super Trooper And Really...Super.
- Ellen's sandwich choices nearly kill John.
- There is, of course, an Inventory Management Puzzle. During it, Luke comes up with reasons for a few of the things in it, such as the ram skull...but not the selfie stick, toy snake, or teddy bear.
- The bonus challenge is to fit in a porcelain dog without abandoning any weapons.
- When Ellen tries to say that Pokemon and plagues have a lot in common because "gotta catch 'em all", Luke immediately leaves to let her think about what she just said.
- When a commenter has made several of them in XCOM, Luke concludes that they've expressed Mike's "inner self" - which means the character is in clown makeup and is nicknamed "Oops".
- The Sinking City Gameplay:
- Andy starts out hugely obsessed with Harry Potter Wizards Unite and Mike has to confiscate his phone.
- Lovecraft Country comes up, with the hosts mentioning that Massachusetts seems to be the creepiest state in the US.
- It's been a long time since the last proper Show of the Weekend. Perhaps not as long as the presenters joke that it's been, though.Andy: We were discussing these new horseless carriages they have these days.
Jane: It was before E3 and the game of the week was Cup and Ball.
- Jane explains her creative process:
- Super Mario Maker 2 and Luke's Mario Moulding Challenge:
- After mentioning Gooigi, Ellen is convinced that she's found "Gooellen" in her pocket. Luke attempts to prove that it's a jelly baby by eating it...and it makes a tiny little scream when he takes a bite.
- While playing Cadence of Hyrule, Ellen spends a lot of time grooving to the background music. When they get to the windmill, she starts providing "air percussion" as well.
- "So it's good that we saw death, actually" - Luke, prompting Ellen to dissolve into laughter.
- Luke and Ellen collaborate on a terrible segue.Luke: From moving to the beat to moving blocks around to make your own Mario levels...
Ellen: Which are neat!
- Ellen dissolves into laughter again at the sight of Meowser, AKA Bowser's cat fursona.
- Luke redefines our understanding of anatomy:Luke: It's actually a clear plastic ball full of children's slime to play with, but I thought, what is a head but a hard thing full of slime?
- Luke compares their work with the modelling clay Mario to Weekend at Bernie's.
- They watch it slowly topple over, and Luke gets Ellen to photograph it from an angle where the head still appears to be attached.
- "Apex Legends Season 2 and Andy's Spooky Mario Maker Ordeal":
- Ellen starts out wondering if Luke is depressed after he creates a Mario Maker level that has coins arranged to spell "LIFE IS PAIN". Luke clarifies that he means "PAIN" as in French for bread, because he's been learning to bake.Luke: Baguette?
- A Baguette boop follows where Ellen somehow manages to not corpse.
- Afterwards, while they're eating pieces of baguette and talking about games, Luke mentions that if you're stuck for a joke when writing, a baguette entering the frame is always funny.
- Luke's level features some...unusual design choices:Luke: Now here I've tried to make a sort of Hell for Chain Chomps. Uh, I don't know why I've done this...
- The final gag is, as Luke puts it, "the point where clever level design goes out the window and we just sort of design a cruel trap for Andy".
- Andy actually figures out a loophole in the level by skipping the ring of Boos entirely!
- "It's fine, I'll just clear this jump with a-" [casually walks off the edge] - Andy Farrant
- Ellen has to admit, during the first question, that she hasn't actually played Apex Legends.Luke: [Decisively] I have played a little bit of it, but not loads, because I was bad at it, and that made me give up.
- Ellen crafts a question entirely around the concept of "a Pecs Legend" by asking about video game characters with huge pectoral muscles.
- Luke's assessment of Duke Nukem: Quite some pecs, but basically unbearable in every other respect.
- When Doomguy comes up, Luke just has to get in another line about him being Link.
- On Kratos:Luke: I could push that [pec] and not feel any give whatsoever. Not that I would, because Kratos would crush my head.
- Luke picks Old Kratos because, in a combat situation, he would be mostly useless and considerably smaller than Kratos, and therefore could fit the Atreus role.
- Ellen gets Luke to do push-ups. It turns out that she was just expecting him to say no.Luke: I would point cheerfully at the camera and go 'Let's read what's in the comments!' but my arms don't lift any more.
- Just the line "Well that's a mime we didn't need!"
- Ellen starts out wondering if Luke is depressed after he creates a Mario Maker level that has coins arranged to spell "LIFE IS PAIN". Luke clarifies that he means "PAIN" as in French for bread, because he's been learning to bake.
- Wolfenstein: Youngblood and Andy's Difficulty Mode Dilemma:
- Andy starts out locking himself in the office for 18 hours and his Switch is out of battery. By the time Luke arrives he's staging a wedding between the Yoshibomination and Pom Pom Kirby.Luke: Hey Andy, what's up?
Andy: (throwing toys off the sofa) Normal things! Normal things! ALL NORMAL!
- Luke's impromptu ditty while playing Blazing Chrome:Luke: o/~ Alien robot worm, you are a loser o/~
- Luke is befuddled by this new idea of learning more about a game by asking questions that are tangentially related to it.
- Andy issues a Hot Take:Andy: But Luke, I put it to you that The '80s were actually bad, and everyone's looking at it with rose-tinted glasses, which were probably fashionable at the time.
- Andy is under the impression that the movie Wall Street is about an actual gecko.
- When the questions drift into the new field of Young-People-Knowing, Luke immediately loses points for referencing Huey Lewis.
- Luke has to name three things kids like. He concludes that they've gone off Fortnite because now their parents are playing it with them and have moved over to Apex Legends.Andy: They've gone off Apex as well now.
Luke: Have they? But onto what?
Andy: Drugs, or something.
- He then has to come up with two other things, so he proposes Kylo Ren and podcasts.
- When Luke compares LOL Surprise dolls to Bratz dolls, there's a shot of some Bratz dolls accompanied by a completely out-of-place fanfare.
- We have Learned a Lesson.Luke: If you block in a game, you've resigned yourself to being hit.
Andy: Weird, that sounded wise, but it really wasn't, was it?
- When Andy brings up some trivia about President Garfield's assassination, Luke thinks he's talking about the cat.
- Jon's skill at Pictionary guessing is rewarded with a signed copy of the badly drawn Batman art.
- The final comedy bit features the Oxventurers attempting to sail from a mystical fantasy land to London, England, tormented by Dob's attempts to perform 999 Bottles of Ale on the Wall. Just as a bonus, the interior of Johnny's DM screen is shown...and it's covered in pictures of his dog, Watson, accompanied by the text DO IT FOR HER.
- Andy starts out locking himself in the office for 18 hours and his Switch is out of battery. By the time Luke arrives he's staging a wedding between the Yoshibomination and Pom Pom Kirby.
- World of Warcraft Classic and Ellen's Warcraft Cinematic Challenge:
- It turns out that when playing D&D, Ellen gets so in-character as Merilwen that she can't actually remember what happens. This leads to them needing to have a bear killed, and Ellen seems to believe it was humanely extracted and, presumably, sent to a farm upstate.
- "Doomguy is basically a compact Godzilla."
- They engage in synchronised "Chris Pratt raptor taming" to convince the audience not to unsubscribe.
- When asked for something she thinks has become too complicated these days, Ellen immediately says "Life" and Luke slams his laptop shut.Luke: (while laughing) Show of the Weekend, Show of the Weekend...
Ellen: Um...Worrying about finances.
Luke: (slams his laptop shut again)
- Attempting to choose a faction in the Warcraft world goes badly off track into whether or not Elsa from Frozen can raise zombies (they conclude she can).
- They play a game of Andy's creation, called "World of Warcraft Thing or Heavy Metal Band".Luke: I wasn't keeping score there but you got some right!
- All Ellen can get out while watching a Pandaren martial artist beat up orcs is "what a good panda".
- In a reverse Golden Snitch Ellen loses a million points for choosing the wrong faction.
- Ellen has to be prevented from using time travel to get cake. Luke stopping her is almost Hypocritical Humor given the various time travel Pikachu incidents. Then it turns out the device is powered by smug, and Ellen gets Luke some Space Raiders from 1995.
- She-Ra and the Link's Awakening Model Challenge:
- We learn that Luke is absent this week because he misinterpreted the Nintendo Switch Ringcon as instead being some sort of Tolkien convention and immediately flew out to New Zealand at great personal expense to attend.
- Ellen, as the title of the video suggests, introduces Andy to She-Ra and the Princesses of Power.Andy: What was wrong with the old She-Ra - I mean, there was a lot wrong with the old She-Ra...
- Andy sets up a Running Gag about it being a gritty reboot where Adora lives in modern-day Brooklyn and Hordak struggles with drug addiction and...okay, fair, someone probably did propose that at some point.Ellen: Hordak worked for Enron.
- Andy has Seen some Shit.Ellen: It's probably 'cause things like My Little Pony went down really well...
Andy: I'm not sure if that was for the right reasons.
- Ellen's a capella version of the theme song, complete with Air Guitar. Which Andy then starts them extending.Andy: o/~ We must buy toys to defeat the Horde o/~
- Ellen explains that the old Game Boy did not have a backlit screen and so was only usable in the light. Andy then "explains" that this was because the old Game Boy ran on coal gas, which you would buy by the ha'penny from the local coal-gas man.
- The quiz is up to its usual standards, with the first question for learning about Link's Awakening involving Andy's favourite Backstreet Boys song.
- They end up performing a decent chunk of "I Want It That Way" before Ellen realises that they could get a copyright strike.
- Andy is disturbingly keen on seeing FLUDD shattered at the bottom of a ravine somewhere, before eventually concluding that the best thing to take from Mario into Zelda, and also every game, would be a shiba inu in a fedora.
- When Andy tries to build a plasticine Link, we get "Ellen's just laughing at how good it is."
- Play-Dough Link has a facial expression that can only be described as ":S", and his head is not all that firmly attached.
- Andy's Link voice sounds like something out of Red Dead Redemption.
- Untitled Goose Game and Luke's Fowl Quiz:
- Ellen starts out having succumbed to a form of The Tetris Effect and built a couple of goose-themed sock puppets, which she uses to yell in Luke's face and steal Mike's car keys.Luke: We can't go on like this. We simply can't go on like this, Ellen.
- It does, in fact, go on like this, complete with plenty of giggling and Luke trying to perform a song using Ellen's honks. Eventually Luke steals one of the puppets and starts opening its mouth in time with the honks of the actual videogame.
- When they try and steal the groundskeeper's keys, they pinch his trowel instead.
- Luke's impromptu musical performance of "Rake in the Lake".
- "Geese shouldn't have to regret their actions!" - Luke Westaway, 2019
- Luke describes the game of the week as a "goose-'em-up".
- Gladstone Gander is "the smuggest duck in the world".
- Luke mentions that Fly Away Home is described on Wikipedia as a "coming-of-age goose drama". Ellen nearly ends up in hospital.
- The whiteboard challenge poses some additional challenges because Ellen is still wearing the goose sock puppet.
- Luke gets called on his hypocrisy for hating overly niche collective nouns but making an entire challenge out of them anyway. When he gives the correct answers, he sounds really angry about most of them.
- Neither of them actually knows what the word "convocation" means.
- Ellen looks right into Luke's eyes while making crow noises in what can only be seen as an attempt to bully him into issuing extra points.
- Ellen's bird calls keep reducing both presenters to helpless laughter, especially when Luke attempts to conduct her speeding up her regular laughter to sound like a kookaburra.
- Luke tries to drag Ellen in front of some kind of international tribunal for playing a Zelda game without him.
- The final sock puppet gag is when Luke puts it on the wrong way up. It looks weird.Ellen: We're professionals here.
- This ends with Luke's Skeksis impression.
- Ellen and Luke slowly breaking down to how ridiculous it is, with loud laughs from Producer Jon off-camera.
- Finally, Luke's last line.Luke: Did that feel like premium content?
- Ellen starts out having succumbed to a form of The Tetris Effect and built a couple of goose-themed sock puppets, which she uses to yell in Luke's face and steal Mike's car keys.
- Sega Mega Drive Mini and Donald Duck's Cowering Streets of Rage:
- Everything involving Ellen's faintly disturbing Clicker sock puppet, particularly when it's removed and Luke handles it like he's disposing of a dead mouse.
- Ellen concludes that since there are 42 games on the Mega Drive Mini that makes it the meaning of life.
- Luke's detective work to link game box art to 16-bit screenshots, which is repeatedly derailed by a golden cat-thing with a baby's face in one screenshot. By about the halfway mark he's drawing a big circle around Ax Battler's crotch.
- Luke then draws a set of Deal With It shades on the cat-thing, before running through the board drawing shades on everyone like Terezi Pyrope on a red crayon bender.Luke: A cool cat!
- Luke's expression of seething rage at Ellen and Jon's attempt to cover up that they started the Link's Awakening remake without him.
- Luke and Ellen's cover of "Under Pressure", scored for one vocalist and two geese.
- Andy attempts to explain the offside rule in "FIFA '15 Giant Killing".
- In Overwatch Basketball, once Jane has succeeded in placing the ball in the hoop using Symmetra's gravity gun, they start celebrating: Mike as Mei tries to "chill the booze" with the freeze ray (the bottle breaks), Andy does a very ineffectual celebratory ultimate (as McCree, his ult only works if there are enemies nearby), and Jane grabs a bunch of random junk and dumps it on top of the hoop.
- In the tiebreaker GTA Online Battle Royale challenge:
Mike: Sure, you guys team up. You guys just resist the urge to kill each other for like...ten seconds.
- Mike doesn't think too highly of Jane's and Andy's attempt at Enemy Mine.
Mike: My plan relies on appealing to the better nature of the other GTA players.Andy: Oh god, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.
- Mike's plan isn't much better.
- As Jane emerges as victor of the challenge, she decides to revoke Christmas forever so she can remain the Christmas champion for all time. Andy, who won last year, is distraught that he hadn't done that earlier.
- Jane tells Andy, "Have a headshot!" and then snipes him in his groin. OUCH. Wrong head, Jane!
- In a Grand Theft Auto Online challenge, Luke and Ellen are challenged to a bicycle race up Mount Chilead.
Luke: Okay, this could be a problem.
- Luke is attempting to climb up the mountain when he hears the sound of a jet. He pivots the camera in time enough to see a jumbo jet fall to the ground. Later commenters called it the most impossibly British way to worry about a jet flying towards you.
- After Luke respawns, he cycles up the mountain, only to realize he cycled up the wrong one, leading to corpsing for several minutes.
- During Ellen's run, she hears a chopper, and has to outrun another player trying to skewer her on the blades.
- Watch_Dogs 2 Dog Petting Challenge:
- The opening has Mike dancing on the sofa above Luke and Ellen, which they find rather disconcerting.
- There is a metric ton of Cuteness Proximity. Ellen in particular does a lot of cooing.
- After the second dog he pets gives Luke a little high-five, Luke robs a bystander with hacking and tries to transfer the cash to the dog. It doesn't work.
- For the fifth dog, Luke has to physically barge an NPC out of the way to pet the dog.Luke: Out of the way! Let me pet your dog.
Ellen: This is what it's like being out in public with Luke.
- Luke gets distracted by a busker.
- They confuse a gardener for a dog, briefly.Luke: Can I pet...no.
Ellen: That would be weird.
- Luke at one point crashes a car in order to get out and pet a dog in time.Ellen: Why did you crash?
Luke: Hello, dog. I just shattered my spine to meet you.
- Luke gets a bit salty when Ellen uses fast-travel.
- Fallout 4 Nude Elder Punching: Because they're using Andy's save file, and he and the Brotherhood of Steel are thick as thieves, Mike needs to beat seven bells out of Lancer Captain Kells before everyone actually goes hostile.
- Red Dead Redemption Drunk Walking:
- Andy: Look at that glorious winner there!
[slightly pixelated close-up of John Marston lying spreadeagled in the street]
- The Sims 4 sim-killing time trial has Jane getting distracted by how well the role of Christmas Elf fits Ellen, stating that it's a pity Ellen can't wear the Christmas hat all year round without looking insane because it really suits her. Ellen handles this with her typical aplomb.
- Star Wars: Battlefront 2 Yoda Lightsaber Chaos: Mike expresses frustration that he's playing a muppet, and muppets don't have a lot of killing power. Andy raises the most pertinent counterexample: Miss Piggy. Mike immediately concedes the point.
- In WWE 2K18, Mike isn't sure where they're putting the scores, so he points at random. They then have the scores loop and spiral around, while Mike and Luke joke about how much the CGI for that will cost.
- In the third episode of the 2017 Xmas challenge, Jane complements Ellen on how well she pulls off an elf hat, and laments that she would look like a crazy person if she wore it any other time in the year.
- During the The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild "Deer-race to Kakariko Village" Challenge, Ellen has a...bit...of trouble.
Cue Deep Breathing Exercises
- Ellen's attempt to capture deer leads them to commit suicide by drowning in the river.
- Ellen tries to shield surf, only to have the deer ram her into a tree, and then de-spawn into the tree.
- Ellen finally gets her stride by sneaking up on a stag carefully...only to hit the Y button by mistake and slice the deer in two.
Luke: Oh deer, be still, be calm, and quiet. While I sneak up on your haunches.
- When it's Luke's go, he decides to sing a song to himself while stealthily approaching a deer, with lyrics that make him sound like the giddiest serial murderer ever.
- In the FIFA 18 Giant Killing Challenge, Jane and Andy notice that one of the League Two teams appears to have a prawn or shrimp as its mascotnote , and try to badger Mike into picking that one. When he refuses and chooses a better-performing team, they proceed to act as if that team was "The Shrimps", despite Mike's protests that his actual teamnote has a much-cooler stag as its mascot.
- Luke's attempt at travelling from Mount Josiah to Mount Chilead in GTA 5 in the final OxTra Christmas challenge. It takes him twenty-five minutes, and everything calamitous that could possibly go wrong ends up going wrong in the worst possible way. Although he doesn't exactly help himself by repeatedly insisting on taking "short cuts" that turn out to be nothing of the kind and apparently believing that any vehicle is capable of driving up the sheer side of a mountain if you just try hard enough.
- In the 2017 Xmas Charades part 2, Andy has a couple of minutes of raw hilarity. First, he gets Prey (2017) and, rather than actually miming praying, does an elaborate display of reenacting the entire game, to Mike's confusion. Then, he gets Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning and, instead of doing anything related to the title, opts to simply point at Ellen. When Mike doesn't get it despite this, Andy gets extremely snide about it.
- Red Dead Redemption II Hat Shooting Challenge: After successfully de-hatting ten people, Mike celebrates by...loudly proclaiming that it's time to ruin his shirt and having his player character leap off a roof into the mud while Andy demands to know what the hell he's doing.
- Skyrim Rocket Boot Challenge: The opening of the video involves Kippers appearing on horseback in midair, falling down to the ground, bouncing, and only taking damage when his movement actually stops. Then, when Kippers respawns, the horse starts climbing into the sky once more. Bethesda, everyone!
- After Luke's second attempt, he notices an enemy nearby...and it's a frost troll they've encountered in previous Skyrim videos.Luke: HELL IS EMPTY AND ALL THE DEMONS ARE HERE!
- After Luke's second attempt, he notices an enemy nearby...and it's a frost troll they've encountered in previous Skyrim videos.
- Grand Theft Auto V Online Observatory Road Race:
- All of Luke driving like crazy.
- All of Ellen reacting to Luke driving like crazy.
- Luke spends much of the early part of his race receiving inconveniently timed cell phone calls and messing up his fancy-looking car while insisting that everything is fine.
- Luke laments that it's hard to do this at night, and Ellen points out that it's because he's wrecked his headlights. Later, on the way back to the starting line, Luke crashes into another wall:Luke: Aww, my headlights are gone.
Ellen: (exasperated) Yes, Luke.
- At one point Luke consults his map while speeding along the road. GTA 5 doesn't pause when you consult the map.
- Luke hasn't played GTA 5 for a while, so he manages to come off second best in a fistfight with an NPC immediately after getting out of the car.
- Luke manages to get a bounty and a wanted rating on the way back to the starting line, which makes Ellen very upset, particularly when she gets gunned down.
- Luke is bewildered by the concept that not crashing into things at maximum speed may be better for your time than racing everywhere with the accelerator pushed all the way to the floor.Luke: And your car's not on fire! How'd you do that?
- Luke insists that he only made one mistake. It's not specified if "driving like a swivel-eyed lunatic" was the mistake in question or not, but it's not hard to infer.
- Red Dead Redemption II Horse Landing Challenge: Andy has sort of forgotten the classic reindeer lineup.
- Soul Calibur VI Rudolph Rumble Challenge: Mike's efforts in the character creator end up producing "Bondage Rudolph" - a muscular man in a skimpy outfit who happens to have antlers and a big red nose. Then they start looking through the pose options...Jane: It's covering his whole deal.
Andy: You mean his antlers, I hope.
the next preset has Rudolph's "whole deal" very much on display as he writhes toward the camera
Jane: oh nooo
Mike: Such weird movements!
he changes to another preset
Andy: It's worse somehow!
Jane: (as Rudolph goes into a breakdancing pose before presenting his abs to the sky) Do a nice picture for Grandma, I insist!
- Luke and Ellen getting incredibly, absurdly, maniacally intense over a game of Connect Four in A Way Out. The video resembles two chess masters staring each other down, only it's Connect Four. For comparison sake, the Outside Xbox Xmas Challenge released on the same day involved Jane playing Hitman, beating up Santa, stealing his suit and murdering two people... and everyone in the comments agreed that the game of Connect Four was somehow more intense.
- The horrifying/adorable pack of hungry Kirbies in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Killer Kirby Survival Challenge.Luke: It's like a swarm of angry Skittles.
- All of the riffing at the Peel P50's expense in Forza Horizon 4 Slowmobile Challenge.Andy: Mike, what the hell is this?
Mike: Andy, this is a 1962 Peel P50.
Jane: That's part of a car.
Andy: A stupid joke car.
Jane: Not even a large part of a car.
Mike: It is the sort of thing you'd expect four clowns to get out of.
Andy: It's like a thing you'd see in a shopping mall.
Jane: Oh, you'd put 50p in and...
Andy: Put 50p in and you go back and forth, yeah.
- Red Dead Redemption II Pikachu-Drawing Challenge: Once the Pikachus have been finished, Andy launches into a faux-highbrow Contemplate Our Navels speech about the nature of art, which reduces both Luke and Ellen to hysterical giggling by the end of the first sentence. Even Andy can't keep a straight face the whole time. Subsequently, when he awards the win to Ellen, she literally squeals with joy at having finally won in a Pikachu-drawing contest and runs over to give Andy a hug, before donning the challenge stocking to commemorate her victory.Luke: In 2019 I'll be back for Christmas revenge, which is the best thing to do at Christmas.
- Red Dead Redemption II Bear Hunt: Mike spends fifteen minutes of video and God knows how long in-game trying to lure a bear with predator bait, only for a bear to rush out of the forest, maul him for a bit and vanish into a fog bank, leading to some very drawn-out tracking before Mike kills it with one Molotov.Andy: What a horrifying end to Christmas.
- Occasionally, the team finds a cocktail recipe in a video game and will attempt to recreate the recipe in real life. It almost never ends well.
Luke: Can I check my contract?Mike: Nope!Andy: It's fine, you didn't see us make it.
- In Hitman (2016), Andy and Mike find the Bare Knuckle Boxer recipe in the Paris level, and were able to read it using the sniper rifle's zoom feature. Mike is obsessed with his skull-shaped vodka bottle. Andy immediately shows off his flair bartending skills, using Mike as a prop. Mike horrifying comments that he's "being flair bartended on" and wonders if Andy has put a hex on him. Andy's finished product reminds him of drainwater, so he foists testing it onto Luke.
Andy: Do you feel like, if it was full of rat poison, you wouldn't be able to tell?
- Later, when he actually tastes it, after failing to find a compliment for it, they tell him where the recipe is from.
- To celebrate the holiday season for 2016, they mix a drink from Dishonored 2 and dub it the Royal Conservatory Coolernote . First, there's a false start when they misread the recipe and put in a terrifyingly excessive amount of nutmeg (which is surprisingly lethal, as spices go). Then, when the first attempt has been delicately disposed of and they've mixed a less deadly version and tested it on Ellen, Jane and Andy take fairly small sips and respond appropriately - Jane compares the taste to window cleaner, and Andy manages little that's more coherent than "Oh, my God! It's so bad!"
- Sea of Thieves Grog Cocktail: Andy attempts to be historically informative. It goes poorly enough that by five minutes in he's claiming that pirates wore eyepatches because it stopped them from putting holes in the ship with their laser eyes.Jane: What's the most piratey umbrella colour?
- Hitman 2 contains a cocktail called the Dragon Flame, and it turns out that Andy has a bit of inside information on how it came about: apparently he was talking smack about the Colorado level of Hitman (2016) at EGX Rezzed, and one of the developers of that level came up to him at the party and asked what his least favourite cocktail ingredients are, and then came up with a cocktail that used all of them...plus a human tear, just for good measure. When the time comes to actually drink, Andy stalls for nearly a minute before actually taking a sip.Luke: So this has literally been made to spite us.
- While the video overall is on the border between this and Bile Fascination, a less bad-tasting comedic moment comes from the group's attempts to fulfil the "human tear" part of the recipe, which initially involves Andy reminding Luke of the bit in Paddington where Paddington runs away from the Browns' home.
- The Ultimate Friendship Quiz in "2 Million Subs! Thank You!" has a simple setup. Team member A will ask B a question, then get C to say what they thought B's answer was. It goes to strange places.Jane: So you're saying you wouldn't want to be a gold medallist horse dancer?
- Friday 13th Livestream
- At one point during the gang's first playthrough as Jason in Friday the 13th: The Game, the game crashes while they're chasing a player dressed as a "Sexy Chad", causing them to freeze right in front of a door. "Sexy Chad" takes the opportunity to taunt them by doing increasingly provocative and bold sexy dance moves, much to their combined frustration, chagrin and amusement.Mike: How do we top that?
Luke: I suppose we've just got to find some way of stumbling through the rest of our lives...
- In their next playthrough as Jason, they're a lot more successful at butchering the teens, and at one point corner one who tries to flee... only to discover in the final kill animation that it's "Sexy Chad". Gloating ensues.Andy: Well, look who it is...
Mike: Not so sexy-dancing now, are you?
- At one point during the gang's first playthrough as Jason in Friday the 13th: The Game, the game crashes while they're chasing a player dressed as a "Sexy Chad", causing them to freeze right in front of a door. "Sexy Chad" takes the opportunity to taunt them by doing increasingly provocative and bold sexy dance moves, much to their combined frustration, chagrin and amusement.
- Showdown of the Weekend 2017:
Mike: I would say pancakes. Because if you have a selection of accompaniments for pancakes, each pancake can have a slightly different blend of ingredients on top of it. Whereas waffles, you just pour the stuff on top of it and it just kind of sits in the little compartments and it's rubbish.
- The "key pillars" of Outside Xbox and Outside Xtra are revealed to be Violence, Friendship and Charades.
- In Andy's round of the friendship quiz, the last question for Mike is whether Andy prefers pancakes or waffles. The resulting answer... creates a rift.
Jane: [To Andy] ... I can't believe you said that.
Andy: Unbelievable. You just listed the best thing about waffles as a drawback!
Mike: It's a breakfast, not a storage medium!
Andy: That's it! This channel is over!
Andy: "Waffles, because syrup and fruit can pool in the indentations. The outside is crispy and the inside is fluffy"!
- And then Andy reads out his exact words on the subject:
Luke: That is the angriest anyone has ever said "the outside is crispy and the inside is fluffy".
- Mario Odyssey Livestream: A commenter asks the team what their favourite Legend of Zelda game (besides Breath of the Wild) is. It turns out that certain members have very strong opinions on the subject:Mike: Link to the Past is best, surely?
Luke: No, Mike!
Mike: Link to the Past, though!
Luke: Mike, come on!
Mike: Link to the Past!
Luke: Be serious.
Mike: [Intense] LINK. TO THE PAST.
[There is much giggling by this point]
Andy: Stop saying Link to the Past! It's not Link to the Past!
Jane: I got four words for you, Andy!
Jane and Luke: Link... To... The... pa...
Luke: What were we talking about?
- In the Metal Gear Survive livestream, Mike finds it difficult to find a route to a waypoint through an abandoned, ruined base. Andy asks if there's a door, to which Mike replies in the negative. After discovering plans to make a crowbar, the team decide that this must be what's needed to get to the waypoint, prompting Mike to take an extended, lengthy journey back to the base, which is interrupted by his character running low on food, which in turn leads him to starve to death when no more animals can be found. Eventually, Mike finds some rations, builds a crowbar, journeys back to the base, tries to use it on some rubble... and fails. And then, when he moves back through into the corridor, he spots a door right next to where Andy had asked if there was a door.
- 8 New Games Out in June 2018: Luke makes a determined attempt to persuade Mike that updating the dinosaurs in Jurassic World: Evolution from their appearances in the original movies, which were based on the then-cutting edge but now outdated research of the 1980s-1990s, to reflect contemporary knowledge will only be for the best. Mike is unconvinced, as this would involve making the Tyrannosaurus rex "less terrifying and more ridiculous" — among other things, the dinosaur would be covered in feathers, unable to run and would only produce a low hooting/humming sound instead of a bellowing roar. Luke's attempts to persuade him otherwise are... unsuccessful. And are mercilessly trolled.Luke: The great thing about Jurassic Park was that it actually took contemporary dinosaur research of the time and made a film about what people then really thought dinosaurs were like. And they were scary because they were gigantic and will kill you and all the rest. Jurassic World has the opportunity now to do that again with the latest, much more up-to-date research on dinosaurs, which is quite different—
Mike: Is that they're much less cool.
Luke: It's not that they're less cool!
Mike: I suspect what they'll do is go with the old thinking where they're really cool.
Luke: [Looking like he wants to throw Mike out a window] No, but—! But when—when there's a big Hollywood movie with a feathered T-rex going "hmmmmm..." [Mike cracks up] then people will see that that can be and is just as terrifying and just as exciting. [Mike looks skeptical]. So that's what I'm hoping for. And that's why Jurassic World is bad.
Mike: Fruit is nature's sweets!
- F1 2018 Live! Outside Xbox Plays F1 2018:
- "Mike, this is so easy!" ~ Jane Douglas, literally as she crashes an F1 car into a wall.
- In fact, pretty much all of Jane's attempt at driving an F1 car.
- Showdown of the Weekend 2018:
- The very start of the video has Team Oxtra waving the trophy in front of the projector, and someone is doing shadow puppets.
- "I am the Outside Xbox announcer, a person you have not heard before, and I want you to put your hands together to welcome your host for the evening, the charming, wonderful, Andy Farrant!" - Andy Farrant
- Andy keeps bringing up that he's impartial in unrelated contexts, usually after having demonstrated or suggested a ''lack'' of impartiality.
- The "Violence" round this time is executed in Nidhogg 2, complete with praising the Victory Worm at the end.
- The post-Nidhogg game interview. Andy, while assuring everyone how impartial he is, gets rather insistent on the subject of Outside Xtra describing exactly what just happened in the game they just lost.
- The completion of the "Violence" round sees Jane do a handshake fake out to Luke after Outside Xbox wins. Luke gets... melodramatic in response.Luke: [Clutching his heart, on his knees, fake weeping] How can we win against such evil?!
Andy: Stop trying to make yourself the underdogs! You're the champions! You can't be the underdogs! We've had this talk!
Luke: And yet, here we are.
- The "Music" round has some quality salt from Mike about Luke's recent album release ("Short Songs With Long Titles").
- Luke proves Mike had nothing to worry about by attempting to play the theme to Street Fighter II, wrong.
- Jane insists that she has no musical talents, unless there should happen to be a harpsichord somewhere in the quite small box.Jane: Why is it that I can only think of the Simpsons theme right now?
- Jane then gets a harmonica to play a song she's almost never heard of. She has to ask where the "business end" is.Andy: I should pay attention to the rhythm, more than the notes.
- Ellen's turn:
- Kazoo technology has come a long way since Ellen's first encounter with them as a tiny child...according to Luke, anyway.
- Luke proclaims that it would be such a bad idea to choose the ocarina. Then he chooses the ocarina anyway possibly because he has the theme from The Legend of Zelda. The first note he attempts causes both himself and Ellen to break down laughing.Andy: I did have a brief practice on the ocarina and it is unbelievably difficult.
- Luke's actual attempt has almost everyone giggling, including Andy.Mike: It sounds like the mating call of a rare bird.
- Luke celebrates their victory in the "Music" round by attempting to shred on the ocarina like he was doing a guitar solo for Van Halen.
- Andy applies Who Writes This Crap?! to his own notes.Andy: What great music that was, I think we can all agree. Why did I write that? I knew it wasn't gonna be good.
- Team Oxtra are rebuked for attempting to get an early leg-up on round three.Andy: Only the truest, closest friends deserve to call themselves Showdown Champions - stop hugging!
- Andy asks Ellen how many of Luke's secrets she knows. Ellen retorts that the whole point of a secret is that it's secret and she wouldn't know any.Andy: Keeping secrets from each other. I'm impartial.
- The first question in the Friendship round is about which ridiculous thing Luke believed into his twenties: that reindeer didn't exist, that buffalo wings were made from actual buffalo, or that if you got a negative money amount on a quiz show you owed them money. Ellen picks the quiz show one on the grounds that she really hopes it's true. (It was actually the buffalo wings, and Luke explains that he thought that "wings" was a term for the buffalo's back muscles.)
- When it turns out that Luke won silver in a trampolining competition, he's coaxed into doing his Mario jump...and drops his mic in the process.
- Luke explains an early disappointment in theatre, culminating in "But I got a corncob pipe, so swings and roundabouts."
- Andy is horribly offended by Mike's indifference to the Backstreet Boys.
- Andy keeps asking people to explain the specific weird event or situation that was in each question about them. When it comes to Jane's knowledge of pi, Jane simply gives him a blunt "no".
- Jane mentions that a lecturer once told her that only an insufferable pedant would learn pi to more than two decimal places.
- Mike takes a potshot at Luke's buffalo wing thing during his own time answering the questions.Luke: Rising above it. What you're seeing is rising above it.
- The first potential truth about Ellen is that she was once given detention for being late to school because she stopped to pet a cat and lost track of time.Luke: ... I mean, I will hear the other ones, just in case.
- Luke explains his reasoning for the first answer he gives by stating that Ellen has told him about literally every cat she's ever met.
- Just the revelation that Ellen Rose was such a goodie two-shoes at school that she'd be sent out of the room on errands whenever the teacher had to yell at the rest of the class so that she wouldn't be included in the telling off.
- There is clearly some lingering trauma over the events of the fifth D&D campaign.Andy: Yes, "Merilwen's Meat-Grinder"... we all regret it...
Ellen: It was the grease!
Andy: Oh yes! Blame the grease! Don't blame the sharp spikes!
- When the second question includes, as one possible answer, "Ellen once had a small dog thrown at her", Luke's immediate instinct is to think that Ellen would have mentioned the breed.
- Andy gives Mike's full name as "Micycle Channell". Mike plays along.
- The final, Golden Snitch round is to draw a Pikachu.
- Andy takes the opportunity to vent about the angry comments he gets whenever he judges a Pikachu-drawing contest, as an explanation for why the audience is getting the vote this time.
- Team Oxbox got a little bit carried away and signed theirs, even though the entire point of the judging system is that the audience won't know which is which. They eventually solve it by signing Oxtra's as well.Luke: But then it's not going to be worth anything!
- Jane's victory speech thanks Lord Cthulhu.
- In the December 17, 2018 Super Smash Bros. Ultimate livestream, Jane accidentally turns Kirby yellow while they're playing as a team of pink adorable things. This leads to a weird digression on Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, turning into Kirby, and inhaling all of the others.
- During this Super Mario Party stream, things rapidly devolve into madness when Luke, Jane and Andy decide that Monty Mole must be poisoned literally all the time at all costs.
- And again in this stream, also Mario Party, in which Luke rapidly accumulates multiple stars.Luke: (in a heartwarming tone) The real stars were the friends I lost along the way.
- In the Dark Souls I remaster where Luke beats the Final Boss and takes the "Dark Lord" ending, there's enough of a break between the end of the fight and the final cutscene that Luke has time to dress up in a ridiculous selection of garments, topped off by what Johnny Chiodini dubs "this fetching hessian sack", before accidentally triggering the cutscene.
- Their entire Gang Beasts display at EGX Rezzed 2019. Overlooking that Gang Beasts is already a game about strange floppy jelly creatures ineptly wrestling (most notable, Ellen wins at least two rounds by doing nothing and allowing the others to fall off or get left behind by themselves), the commentary is also golden:Luke: (as a dinosaur) Leave me alone, I'm a scientifically significant discovery!
Mike: DON'T WALK ON ME!
Andy: No, that's my hat, that's my hat.
Luke: No! Meat! Meat! NOOOOO!
Mike: Let Us Never Speak of This Again.
Luke: No, no, no, get me out of the grinder!
Andy: I think you'd like it in the grinder!
Luke: Well, I think you'd like it in the grinder!
Andy: NOOOO, MY HAT, IT'S IN THE GRINDER
Ellen: I live here now.
Ellen: (angry squeaks)
Luke: I've got a cone, I've got a cone, everybody.
All: (humming Duel of the Fates while Luke and Andy fight with traffic cones)
Luke: I need to time it right! (completely misses the train and ends up falling into the tracks)
Mike: You want your hat back? You want your hat back? Go get it! (throws the hat off the tower)
Mike: I'm getting off this stupid wheel, it's dumb. (floor gives way underneath him) Oh no!
Andy: I'm going to see if I can make my way across to Ellen the coward.
Luke: I thought I'd do something cool at that point, that was the plan.
Mike: You're not supposed to have a strategy! That's not how this game works!
Mike and Luke: (clinging desperately to the edge of cracking ice) Near... far... wherever you are...
Luke: We're gonna pull Ellen in half!
Ellen: I'm free! I'M FREE!
Luke: Let's all jump off at the same time and see who - [pitches the other two over the side]
Ellen: Well, I grabbed you, and then I don't know what happened.
Luke: Headbutted unconscious and slid off a blimp!
Andy: Kill him, kill him, no don't kill me...
Andy: With the paternal hand on my shoulder, like, "One day, son, you'll fight in an elevator."
Luke: Ellen and I will just have to take both of you out. It's like The Hunger Games.
Mike: That is not how the Hunger Games works!
Mike: My poor cat brain.
Luke: Well, I don't know what an AJ Styles is.
Luke: PULL HIM IN HALF LIKE IT'S ANCIENT ROME!
Ellen: I'm really regretting teaching them the controls.
- Another Gang Beasts outing, this time a livestream, featured Jane getting a little too in-character as Granny Murder:Jane: I've buried nine husbands and now I'm going to bury you!