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Funny / Old Kingdom

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  • Upon waking up at Abhorsen's House, Sabriel is subjected to a very stringent bathing by one of the House's many sendings, as she fruitlessly tells it to stop. Mogget makes a bunch of smart remarks about how stubborn the House's sendings are. Then, the sending pauses to flick water at Mogget, so the cat jumps away but fails, yowling as he gets hit with water before fleeing under the bedspread.
  • Lieutenant Jorbert is very enthusiastic about aircraft, and takes Colonel Horyse's comment about having to cross the Wall to investigate the approaching Paperwing as meaning he gets to come along too.
    Horyse: Tell me, Mr. Jorbert. Have you by any chance sought a transfer to the Flying Corps?
    Jorbert: Well, yes, sir. Eight times...
    • Then, across the Wall, Jorbert attempts to take Sabriel and Touchstone as his prisoners, only for the two of them to break out in some stress-relieving laughter, to his confusion. After Colonel Horyse has checked their Charter marks and escorted them off to the Crossing Point...
      Jorbert, left to cover the withdrawal, indignantly asked the air, "What was so funny?"
      "You heard the Colonel," replied Regimental Sergeant-Major Tawklish. "Nothing. That was an hysterical reaction, that was. They've been through a lot, those two, mark my words."
      Then, in the way that only RSMs have with junior officers, he paused, crushing Jorbert completely with a judicious, and long delayed, "Sir."
  • At Docky Point, after the first attempt to open Kerrigor's sarcophagus fails, Sabriel and Touchstone are thrown back, and he lands with his head in a thistle. When he gives Sabriel a Eureka Moment about where they can find more Charter Mages, she gets up and gives him a kiss that pushes his head further into the thistle, to his annoyance.


  • After leaving the Clayr's Glacier on a critical mission, Lirael tries to explain their quest to the Disreputable Dog:
    Lirael: I have to find a man -
    Dog: Good! Time you were bred.
  • Finder splashing Mogget, who had just found a dry spot on the boat.
    Mogget: I HATE YOU!
  • Mogget in general is a barrel of hilarious snark, but he truly shines at High Bridge.
    Mogget: Wet, cold, and full of holes. Another fun day on the river.
    • Immediately after screaming at Finder...
      Mogget: At least that rowboat looks dry. Why don't we just let ourselves get captured?
  • Upon arriving at Abhorsen's House, the Dog is immediately grabbed by a sending for a bath. As she protests vociferously, Mogget, more familiar with the habits of the sendings, escapes under the stairs. Lirael asks the sending to ensure that the Dog gets a good scrubbing.



  • During the serious stuff surrounding the manifestation of Orannis, Lirael is momentarily annoyed when she realizes that there's a thistle in the area of the innermost diamond of protection because she was in too much of a hurry to note exactly where the diamonds were going.


  • While flying to the Great Rift in a giant barking owl Charter-skin, Lirael sets down for the night and Nick asks if she's going to take it off, only for Lirael to remember to her dismay that she has to stay in it the whole way since it's one use only. All she can do is hoot out "Love you!" and wallow in the Unresolved Sexual Tension.
  • Ferin's blunt manner of speaking and occasionally excitable nature on encountering new things that she finds interesting, along with her developing UST and Straight Man and Wise Guy dynamic with the rather bemused Sameth.


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