Night at the Museum
- When the exibits all work together with Larry to stop the old night guards from stealing the tablet. Also counts as a Moment of Awesome.
- Cecil getting attacked by the suspended whale.
- Larry getting hit in the face with a hockey puck.
- Larry and the Easter Island Head.Easter Island Head: ME no dum-dum, YOU dum-dum! You bring me gum-gum?Larry: (holding up dozens of packs of gum) Oh yeah. Lots of gum-gum.
- Jedediah calling Larry "Gigantor".
- When Larry finally stopped running from the T-Rex, and Dinosaur throws Larry a bone.Larry: ...Fetch?
- When Jed and Octavius are popping Cecil's tires, and they get blown away by the violent gush of air coming out of the vent. Made funnier when the scene cuts to a Distant Reaction Shot of the van from a normal person's perspective that shows an almost inaudible sound being made as the air is released.
- Atilla portrayed as a huge fussy child with anger problems equals comedy gold. The scene were Larry manages to connect with him and the Huns is both funny and heartwarming.
- Dr. McPhee in general, but especially when Larry has to explain himself the next morning for humorous positions that the miniatures froze in:McPhee: Whahahahaha. Let's all laugh at me, the comedy night guard. No, is the answer. Sarcasm, back at you, with your humor box. I wasn't laughing. I was pretending to laugh, if that's what you want, some sort of battle of humor. Do you?
Larry: No? I don't want a— No, I don't want a battle of humor.
McPhee: No, you don't, because it would be a bloodbath. Nothing funny about Little Bighorn. No. I find it about as funny as a fancist... It's not funny. Okay? And I will not stand for this type of blatant ssss.... If I'm not clear, tell me. (Beat) Am I clear?
McPhee: And if anything, the tiniest... after your shift... (smacks his hands together and makes a smashing sound effect) Because...
- Or this bit when he reluctantly decides to give Larry one last chance:
Larry: Got it.
McPhee: Okay. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...
Larry: Shame on-
Larry: Fool me... Shame on me.
- The one-scene wonder with the whale squirting water out of its blowhole at the head night guard.
- Larry's first encounter with the miniatures.
- Teddy coming across the ludicrous sight of Larry and Dexter slapping each other.Teddy: Good Lord, Lawrence, why are you slapping a monkey!?
Larry: Teddy, this guy has been pushing me and pushing me, and I am sick of it!
- Even better, Larry's response, and the way he says it.
- Teddy's response to Larry accusing him of spending years on spying on a girl he's never even talked to. (Sacajawea.)Teddy: (defensively) I was about to make contact.
- Jed and Octavius (along with their men) letting the air out of one of the tires in the bad guys' getaway vehicle. To a regular-sized human, that would be fool's errand. To the miniatures, it's the most epic and daunting task they've ever had to face, as they struggle to keep the spear stabbed into the tire's air valve for as long as they can hold out! The funny part is how the scene keeps switching between how it looks from their viewpoint and how it looks from ours: a relatively quiet scene staring at the truck as the sound of its air being let out mundanely and gradually grows more audible.
- Comes back as a Brick Joke a couple scenes later. When Larry recruits Scajawea to help track down the bad guys, she's able to decipher that the antagonist drove away, but then he lost control (because one of his tires had no air) and crashed the vehicle. How does she know that? She answers by pointing to the scene of the crash, merely a few yards away.
Battle of the Smithsonian
- Kahmunrah's dismissal of Darth Vader as an incompetent villain because he's an "asthmatic in an opera cape". It doesn't help that Vader tries to use the Force on him, and doesn't have any real powersKahmunrah: Can I make one suggestion to you my friend? Just simplify. There's just too much going on here. You're evil, you're asthmatic, you're a robot, and what is-what is the cape for? Are we going to the opera? I don't think so.
Kahmunrah: (to Jedediah) I'm sorry, but I can't take you seriously, even when you're threatening me! You're just adorable!
- Also, the moment when Kahmunrah kidnaps Jedediah.
Kahmunrah: All right, I'll tell you what. They didn't call me Kahmunrah the Trustworthy for nothing. (starts to hand Larry the hourglass with Jed in it) Here you go... (jerks it back) They didn't call me Kahmunrah the Trustworthy! They called me Kahmunrah the Bloodthirsty, who kills whoever doesn't give Kahmunrah exactly what he wants in the moment that he wants it, which is right now, when I had also better get the combination and the tablet!Larry Daley: ... That's what they called you?Kahmunrah: It was shorter in Egyptian.
- Plus the Overly Long Gag where Larry and Kahmunrah try to negotiate over Larry's friends and the tablet. A highlight:
Kahmunrah I am Kahmunrah, I am half god, once removed on my mother's side.
- Also from the same scene: "This is a no touching zone!"
- Larry asking Octavius to stop looking off into the middle-distance when he speaks in a melodramatic manner.
- When Abraham Lincoln shows up and curbstomps Kahmunrah's Army of the Dead:
- The Thinker.
- Octavius attempting to get help from the President in order to save his friends. In the same vein as the tire scene from the first movie, he sprints across the White House's yard while holding his sword up high and yelling a mighty battle cry...and then it cuts to the White House looking completely ordinary, and then it cuts back to the close up of Octavius running dramatically.
- At the end, when the awakened exhibits are revealed to the public, Ahkmenrah is shown explaining the tablet to a group of visitors, including two little girls. Then this exchange happens:Girl #1: Does it do anything?Ahkmenrah: ...Do anything?Girl #2: Yeah, what's the point if it doesn't do anything?"Ahkmenrah: Actually, it has a magical power that brings all of the exhibits to life!Girl#2: (unimpressed) No, really, what's it do?Girl #1: (to Girl #2) I knew it!
Secret of the Tomb
- The fact that the Museum Director had a caveman added to the exhibit that looks just like Larry as a joke.
- When Teddy Roosevelt first meets LancelotLancelot: Sir Lancelot, at your service.
Teddy Roosevelt: Theodore Roosevelt: President of the United States of America.
Lancelot: [cheerfully] I have no idea what that means.
- First off, the entire planetarium disaster. Attila attacks an ice sculpture of a dolphin, Teddy goes nuts, Dexter attempts to impale Dr. Phelps with a kebab and all the animals decide to stampede, while Jed and Octavius trip people over.
Octavius: I should like to comment! Summon the apparatus!Sentry: SUMMON THE APPARATUS!*Apparatus rolls up.*Octavius: L!*L key is hit with an ice cream stick.*Octavius: O!*O gets hit as well.*Octavius: L!*L key gets hit again.*Octavius: Add a smiley and a wink!Sentry: ADD A SMILEY AND A WINK!Octavius: Now submit this video and my edict of approval to Facebook!
- Before that, Jedediah and Octavius watch a cat video. What happens next is hilarious.
- Lancelot cheerfully noting that Larry pretty much looks exactly like his jester, Eric. Who stood there with a deadpan expression and made everyone laugh.
- He then proceeds to call Larry Dangly Bells for a good chunk of the movie.
- This:Lancelot: Hello, Frog! Keep hopping! You're real!
- Akhmenrah's Amazingly Embarrassing Parents. Poor guy even hangs his head at one point!
Akhmenrah: This is Larry Daley, Guardian of Brooklyn.Larry: Actually, I live in Manhattan now.Akhmenrah: I know. But it doesn't sound as cool.Merenkahre: I love Jews! We owned over 40,000 of them.Shepseheret: Such lovely people!Akhmenrah: Here we go...Merenkahre: They were very happy, always singing, with the candles...Larry: Yeah, they really weren't happy...Shepseheret: Really?Larry: No, they left. They spent about 40 years in the desert trying to escape.Shepseheret: Oh.Larry: Yeah, we have dinner once a year and talk about it. It's a...big deal.
- His introduction of Larry.
Merenkahre: You have served my family well. We will bury you in a great tomb with many riches, and I will personally see to it that your organs are removed and placed in several jewel-encrusted jars!
- Near the end, when the tablet is back to normal and Lancelot has decided to remain a good guy:
- Which actually, if you know about Egyptian burial rites, is a promise of great honors for Larry in death.
- Lancelot invading a staging of Camelot. And Hugh Jackman's and Alice Eve's performance.
- Upon seeing the theater:What have they done to Camelot?!
- Jackman does the Wolverine Claws motion (complete with the X-Men theme playing in the background)... and Lancelot doesn't get it, of course.
- Upon seeing the theater:
- "STOP LOOKING AT MY NOSE!!!"
- Everything that Laa does, really. For example, deciding whether or not to fulfill his duty as a makeshift night guard or eat the packing peanuts.
- The Dance Party at the end.
- Distracting the Lions at Nelson's Column. Larry just waves his flashlight and the Lions go nuts.
- The entire Pompeii sequence:
Octavius: Liepwop. Hmmm...doesn't ring a bell.
- First, just as Octavius and Jed land in the miniature city, they notice all the miniature Roman citizens running away and a male bust repeatedly shouting a single name repeatedly. Octavius then bends down to read the name of the exhibit:
Octavius: Ohhhhh... Pompeii.*Cut the two of them running away from the lava screaming.*
- The bust using his tongue to point to the volcano.
- And when they see the volcano erupting:
- Larry attempts to tame the Triceratops by playing fetch. It just makes it angrier.Teddy: Uh, Lawrence?Larry: Yeah?Teddy: May I suggest a different plan?Larry: Sure. What?(The Triceratops bellows fiercely)Teddy: RUN!(the group runs as the Triceratops chases after them)
- Tilly's entire romance with Laa is pretty much a parody of every romance cliche, ever.
- "I'M ALREADY MAKING SKETCHES OF YOU IN MY MIND! OK, boy with freckles, fat Asian with hair extensions, evil monkey..."
- Jed and Octavius being slammed against a heating grate...by a gentle breeze.
- When Jed and Octavius fall down the ventilation shaft everyone is understandably worried that the heat will kill them, with the exception of Ahkmenrah, who just stands there calmly, nonchalantly stating that the heat will "bake them like tiny little scarabs in the Sinai". Everyone silently stares at him incredulously. His only response is "Too dark? Slightly disturbing but also funny.
- "You'll rue the day you messed with us, you beautiful man!"
- Cecil is described by the Librarian (who was playing Candy Crush on her PC earlier) as "the sexiest night guard we ever had." Cue a cut to Cecil dancing with several old ladies.
- When the librarian describes Cecil as sexy, she casually adds, "Present company included" to Larry.
- Larry talking to Laa about his son Nick. Laa has no idea what Larry's talking about.
- Similarly, Nick talks to Lancelot about his crush on Andrea Moreno and how they had Calculus together. Lancelot also has no idea what Nick's talking about, but stands there and listens anyway.
- When Larry is having his talk with Laa, Laa points to the locked door trapping them, then indicates to his own head, Larry starts talking about how he really is trapped by his own preconceived notions and how he really wants what's best for his son, while trying to keep an open mind. Meanwhile, Laa meant that he intended to use his head to knock out the glass window on the door. And it works.
- As if Laa and Tilly recreating the lift scene from Dirty Dancing (right down to the music) wasn't funny enough, the scene then cuts to the two dinosaur skeletons also performing the lift. With Rexy being lifted.