- Squirrel Girl hitting on Daredevil, whilst his inner-monologue is complaining about her not noticing that Danielle Cage needs a diaper change.
- Spider-Man & Ronin (Clint Barton) discuss the Hand.Ronin: It's a Ninja Tea Party.
Spider-Man: Okay, so it's not just me. This is too many ninjas, right?
Ronin: They must be outsourcing.
Spider-Man: They must have a great benefits package.
Ronin: Dental. Medical.
Spider-Man: Free throwing stars.
Ronin: You can never have enough throwing stars.
Spider-Man: Oh, no. No, no.
Spider-Man: I'm not going to have to compete with you in the "Mid-Battle Witty Zinger" department, am I?
Ronin: Oh, you are.
- In one of the early arcs, the New Avengers are fighting the Hand, with Spider-Man commenting on how nice they smell with Luke Cage. And then...Iron Man: Ever get a whiff of Doctor Doom?Spider-Man: Tell me about it! He hasn't washed that cape of his since the Kree-Skrull war!
- Luke Cage gives Elektra a message on Matt Murdock's behalf.◊
- During Dark Reign, Ronin tries to justify killing Norman Osborn by pulling out the "If you could travel through time & kill Hitler" card. Bucky simply chimes in that he did kill Hitler.
- The Avengers get attacked in a penthouse unit by an army of ninjas. In the process, Luke Cage is tossed off the roof. He's nigh invunerable of course, so he isn't hurt, but he can't fly back up to join the fight... Leading to a hilarious montage where he's just chilling in the elevator listening to the muzak till he gets back to the top, then as soon as the door opens, getting back in the action like nothing happened.
- The Muzak playing? Break My Stride.
- In the space of a lecture, Hope Summers goes from thinking Spider-Man is an idiot, to becoming a fangirl babbling about getting a costume like his.
- Jessica Jones realizing who Spider-Man is and becoming overjoyed to find that Spidey, who was a personal idol of hers, was also the boy she used to have a massive crush on. It then unravels that Peter has no idea who she is and didn't realize that he used to go to school with Jessica Jones, superheroine and a former colleague at the Daily Bugle, and only knew her as "Coma Girl". All the while, Luke Cage is getting more and more annoyed at finding out his wife used to have a thing for Spidey, especially when she says she was 'totally in love with him'.Luke Cage: Was it Love, or a Crush, because those are two COMPLETELY different things!
- In a later issue, when Peter comments that Luke must hate him, Jessica tells him that Luke actually has a man crush on him. Peter has no idea how to respond to this.
- Another issue had Peter trolling Luke, telling him that he would never try to move in on their relationship by asking him if he's free to pursue Iron-Fist.
- From the end on the same arc as the above, The New Avengers, after removing a bomb that they found in Luke Cage's heart, they leave it in the house they were keeping him while he recovered and they hid from Norman Osborn. Norman sets the bomb to blow off and goes to track them down and, to his horror, the house they were hiding in, and left the bomb in, was Norman's home.
- In the Illuminati Christmas special, when Santa Claus has a problem ("I can't believe the reindeer were all Skrulls!") and asks the group to let him use the Infinity Gauntlet:Professor X: Black Bolt says "You never brought me my Speak n' Spell."
- Naturally, it goes wrong—Santa: YOU WANT THE INFINITY GAUNTLET BACK?! COME AND TAKE IT, YOU LITTLE GIRLS!
- —and Namor must use all his Atlantean might to disarm Santa. With a snowball.Namor: I am the king... of all snowball throwers.
- Naturally, it goes wrong—
- The team believes that Victoria Hand is a double agent and was responsible for Mockingbird being shot and almost killed (she lived, thanks to a serum that turned her into a female cross between Fury and Captain America.) The problem is that none of the male members of the team want to hit her.Mockingbird: Thankfully, I have no such issues.
Victoria: I can't believe you just punched me, Mockingbird!Mockingbird: I can't believe you can't believe it.
- She then punches Victoria so hard that she goes flying backwards.
- During the nanny interview montage, we get Nighthawk pointing out that the team "are basically the Defenders" and being confused that nobody else notices. Especially since he's more or less correct.
- Hell, just the whole montage. Two whole pages of candidates, including some rather questionable choices.Machine Man: You ever hear of Nextwave? We could have kicked all your asses.Groot: I AM GROOT!Beverly Switzler: I had an on-again/off-again with a talking duck. I'm not sure if that's a plus or a minus—Deadpool: ...
- Special mention to D-Man, who tries three times:(first time) I am so lonely...(second time) I think I came off desperate before—(third time; shedding a tear already) Does Captain America ever talk about me?
- Hell, just the whole montage. Two whole pages of candidates, including some rather questionable choices.
- We also have Wong complaining about being " a second-rate Jarvis to a bunch of second-rate Avengers".
- When Luke and Jessica go out for dinner (#8, Volume 2), the Mamet Speak is taken Up to Eleven. They fill five pages with back-and-forth; it's so bad that the waitress who had come to take their order just stands there waiting until she decides to leave. It's like the poor girl is just standing awkwardly in a corridor lined with Walls of Text.
- During Fear Itself, Squirrel Girl versus a Nazi henchman. Cue swarm of squirrels.Henchman: (as he's set upon by squirrels) NEEEEEEIIINNN!
Funny / New Avengers