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Funny / Neverwinter Nights

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  • The original campaign of Neverwinter Nights has some pretty good ones. Linu L'aneral's anecdotes per chapter are definitely not to miss whenever you have her as a henchman.
  • Tommi Undergallows' choice of Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: "Here comes halfling death!"
  • Charon, the ferryman of...the sewers (aqueducts!), who is not terribly fond of the beautification project Neverwinter's undergoing, as the finer points seem to be giving things pretty names...
    Charon: "Sewers become 'aqueducts', waste becomes 'surplus resources', and my cushy job at the palace becomes tour guide to the FREAKIN' SEWERS, BUT I'M NOT BITTER!!!
    • Later, when you ask if he can take you downstream:
      Charon: "Well, I can't leave this spot. An emergency could arise, and my specific expertise could be required. IT COULD HAPPEN!"
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  • A (plot irrelevant) note found in the Host Tower of Luskan: "Please inform the apprentices that they are no longer to dump their failed alchemical experiments in the sewer." One can only wonder how these potions affect the water under the city. Considering how during your trip through the sewers, the place is full of ghouls, the water is all an unhealthy dark green, there's a general greenish pall, and an enterprising gnome has already found a way to channel the special sewer water into magical potions, the message is a bit late.
  • In general, any mad ramblings within the game (usually found within prisons).
  • In Shadows of Undrentide you can find the journal of a dragon that controls a tribe of kobolds. The entries are the Surrounded by Idiots commentary you'd expect.
    "Must look into creating non-freezing ink. Damn kobolds tried thawing the last bottle over a fire and it exploded. Upper cave still dotted with ink marks."
    "Swam to the outside today and encountered a group of orcs on my favorite ledge. Why do orcs have to taste so bad? Note to self: raid for salt."
    "DAMNATIONS!! Why must every greedy plan of mine end in ruin?!"
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  • In Shadows you can visit a temple where worshipers are meditating on Ao. You can take a test where you must answer a riddle. Your answer is apparently so profound the worshipers assume you are Ao, and start begging you for wisdom and guidance and give you gifts as shows of loyalty to you. You have the option of going along with it or telling them to knock it off.
  • In Shadows you can find a Shield Guardian golem fighting enemies. Defeating them and talking to it invites one of the most hilarious examples of Insane Troll Logic ever.
    "You are an intruder. You destroyed other intruders. Destruction of intruders is a job for guardians. You destroyed intruders, therefore you are a guardian. How may I assist you, guardian?"
    • This is followed by you pointing out the guardian isn't very good at his job of protecting the master by telling it the master's skeleton is behind it. The guardian insists that the master is simply in quiet meditation and is so wise and powerful he does not need flesh to live.
    • Ask it where there is treasure, and it grows confused, as it doesn't recognize the word. When you clarify treasure is "something valuable," it tells you the master is valuable, and he's right over there.
  • Shadows of Undrentide and Hordes of the Underdark's funny moments usually deal with Deekin's overeager dialogues.
    • Deekin and Nathyrra discussing what to put in a cookbook for dragons.
      "Drows be fatty. Gots it."
    • If you're travelling with Deekin and Sharwyn, Deekin will ask her how come her red hair changes color near the scalp. Sharwyn pays him off to never bring it up again.
    • A magnificent bit of Self-Deprecation, Deekin and Sharwyn discuss the "books" they each wrote about their adventures, "Neverwinter Nights" and "Shadows of the Undrentide." Sharwyn says she liked "Shadows" but found the second chapter too rushed after a promising start. Deekin admits he was running a lot for that part, and offers to tell Sharwyn the problems with her book; Sharwyn scoffs there are no problems with her book. Deekin just snarks "is you joking?"
      • Heck, all of the inter-party dialogues between Deekin and another henchman are pretty damn hilarious.
    • And the developers were probably aware of how annoying Deekin could be when he stops the player yet again in Chapter 2 of HOTU to ask for a bathroom break.
  • Nathyrra's random ramblings about the state of her pack.
  • If Evil Aribeth is in your party and is the Sleeping Man's True Love, and the Sleeping Man is awake then some pretty hilarious dialogue ensues.
  • To survive the icy wastelands in Chapter 3, you need to use mildly explosive Velox Berries to ignite fires strong enough to survive the cold long enough for you to warm up. Usually you can use between one and three, but scavenge enough at a time and you have the option to use 20 berries. The result is a huge explosion of fire that instantly kills you. Schmuck Bait at its best.
  • When you confront the Final Boss in Hordes, this exchange takes place:
    Mephistopheles: Last I knew, I thought I had trapped you for all eternity in an icy little place called Cania.
    Player Character: Sorry, Hell froze over.
    Mephistopheles: How very witty. But it takes more than sharp wit to rule Hell, little one. You must also...dress the part.
  • Half of Enserric the Sword's dialogue. The other half is just flat-out smartassery.
    (After being sheathed) "Thank the gods. Do you know how sweaty your palms are?"
    (Talk to Enserric in Chapter 2 and ask him for advice) "You're asking a sword for advice? Here's some advice: don't do that."
    (Damaging a duergar): "Hah! Let's cut its beard off after it's dead!"
  • A (sadly deleted) option for the use of Mephistopheles's True Name was...well, it has to be seen to be believed.
    Player Character: I'll open an inn and make you the chambermaid!
    Mephistopheles: A...a chambermaid, Master/Mistress? But I was meant for greater things! You would reduce me to turning down bed sheets and emptying the chamberpots of drunken mortals? ...It shall be as you command...
  • One that you'll usually only encounter if you mess up in the module editor: if you attempt to spawn something and get the res-ref wrong, the game will make a badger. This can lead to events where the henchman you built spontaneously decides to explore a new career as a mustelid because you screwed up while coding his level-up conversation.

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