Funny / Neurotically Yours

• The Amityville toaster. Don't use waffles.
  Foamy: "Yum yum yum... human hand."
• From "A Pair of Pants":
  Foamy: (holding up a pair of trousers with "Big Pussy" written on the seat of them) It shows your appreciation for giant cats!
  • Then he holds up one saying 'show me dick':
  Foamy: This one indicates that you want to see some guy named Richard! (singing) Where are you, Richard? We cannot find you now. I want to talk to Richard. Richard!
• "Eye Stigmata":
  Pilz-E: Stigmaaaaataaaa! In your eye!
• "Medicated Baby Heads":
  Pilz-E: The babies are heeeeeeere!
  • After Pilz-E has accidentally killed all the babies by feeding them some of his pills:
    Germaine: (reading the back of the pill container) "Take one every 24 hours to reduce nervousness and excitability. Do not administer to children under 25; do not take more than one capsule a day". (to Pilz-E) Dude! This is a high dose of tranquilser!
    Pilz-E: So what?
    Germaine: Uh... how many did you give these kids?
    Pilz-E: Um... uh... not six each, but twelve!
    Germaine: Twelve... each?!
    Pilz-E: Yep!
    Germaine: These little fuckers are seriously dead, aren't they?
  • "Damn, these little fuckers are hard to sweep up once they've hit Rigor Mortis!"
• From "Unmentionable Auction":
  "Only twenty more hours and its miiiiine!"
• From one of the fanmail segments:
  Crazy fan: "Dear Foamy, I do not wish to to see Germaine naked. I do, however, wish to see YOU naked."
  Foamy: *shivers* "Okay... we're dealing with a sick fuck here!"
• Begley snarking throughout the entire of M.P.H.
• From the first episode of the reboot, The Move:
  Foamy: "Holy fucking monkey shit, the bagels suck! They suck! And the pizza? Fuckbunnies! It sucks harder than a whore in a windtunnel!"
• From Bullies:
  Foamy: "If they don't have your back, they can suck on your sac!"
• The Lamest Halloween
  Germaine: What are you supposed to be?
  Foamy: A middle finger. Also known as a FUCK YOU!
• From Power That Be, Germaine's spontaneous rave. And so many classic Foamy lines, it's hard to just pick one.
  Germaine: Hmm, this [glowstick] isn't as bright as I thought it would be.
  Foamy: Neither are you.
• Coffee House Propaganda:
  Franklin: "Please, that cup is so last year."
  Foamy: "Uh-huh. How about burning your face of with the scalding hot contents of this out of date coffee cup? That trendy enough for ya?"
• "THERE SHALL BE NO INTERNET FOR ABUSING THE BAAAAAGEEEEEELLLL!!!"
• "A Change of Heart": Germaine regrets having breast reduction surgery, realizing that she got more tips at work because of her formerly huge rack. Once Germaine learns about a magic ring that lets the user grow their breasts when they wear it, she orders one online and plays with the ring in the bathtub, watching her breasts grow and shrink and then grow massively big, causing the pizza dude stalker watching through a window to have his head explode from too much excitement.
  Germaine: "Big boobs!"
  Pizza Guy: "I love you!"
  Germaine: "Small boobs."
  Pizza Guy: "I don't love you..."
  *Repeat*
  Germaine: "Giant humongo boobs!"
  Pizza: ":3 *head explodes*"
• "Small, Medium, Large": Foamy is not amused by the way coffee sizes are named, thinking the "Starschmucks" people are ripping customers off by making them think their ordering a tall cup of coffee when it's actually a small, and making them feel sophisticated when they order sizes like "Grande" and "Viente". He also doesn't believe Viente is a real world and calls it "Nazi Speak".
• "Gummie Bear Graveyard": In a odd sense of heartwarming, Germaine decides to give gummy bears to the dead. The funny part comes from Foamy's reactions to the whole thing as well as the fact that Germaine ate all of the gummy bears except the green ones that happen to be mint flavor, believing that it would still work out because maybe they need "minty freshness for their decomposing breath". The episode then ends with Foamy wondering why there isn't a cream cheese flavor and Germaine replies that it would really suck.
• "Telekinetic Pornography": On a hilarious level of Squick, Germaine comes up with an idea of wishing for telekinetic powers so she can give out hand jobs without having to actually touch people and get money for it since she has a hard time getting a job. She then tries to act what that kind of scenario would sound like it... Hilarity Ensues.
  Germaine: "*squish, squish* KA-CHING!"
  Foamy: "Okay, seriously, you have to leave, I can't be hanging around dumb people anymore, it hurts the brain! Get out."
  Germaine: *derp face :3*
  Foamy: "HELLO?!"
  Germaine: "Sorry, my mind was elsewhere."
  Foamy: "Okay, Mhmm!"
• The entirety of the episode where Pilz-E tries to draw a naked picture of Germaine and gets way too metaphorical about it to the point where it looks nothing like her. Germaine is not amused and ends up crushing it. Pilz-E's gasping is both sad yet hilarious. XD
• "Dating Sim:" You'd expect that with a social stigma like dating sims and visual novels to be something that Foamy would rip to shreds. And he does put it through his usual critique, and then comes his ending tune, which does concede one point.
  Foamy: Dating simulators are not even good practice for the real world~ Because those people don't exist~ *Speaking normally* And I know, it kinda sucks!
• After the reboot, Foamy explains why changes were made, and what will be involved. But at the end of the video, he mumbles about how he isn't too happy about one of the changes. Particularly, his new character design.
  Foamy: Why are my eyes so big? Hurts!
• In "Kavorkian Scarf" when Pillz-E thinks that a blood pressure cuff is a medical scarf to keep your neck warm. He puts it on and pumps it up to fit, it ends up cutting off the blood to his head and he passes out.
  Pillz-E: Oh, jeeze, with the cutting off of the air to the brain. {Pillz-E's voice increasingly gets cut off by the inflating blood pressure cuff.} Medical scarf gone mad with the choking and the killing and the death of your neck, with the lack of air in your head! {makes gurgling noise, falls over with a thud}
  Germaine: It's not a "Kavorkian Scarf", jackass. It takes your blood pressure.
  Pillz-E: I think that's a lie from your mouth. It takes your life with the stranglation of the head. Maybe I can save this for when depressants kick in.
  Germaine: Nurse, nurse. Please, you know what? No more visitors.
  Pillz-E: (singing to himself) Oh, sad is the world... But I have Kavorkian Scarf... around my neck.
• "Cell Phones & Car Ads": Foamy's complaint about calling used cars “certified pre-owned” sounds like it fits right into a George Carlin special.
  Foamy: That’s like getting married to someone who already had a divorce. “Well, she’s not divorced. She’s certified pre-fucked.”