- "Two is the loneliest number, Charles. Especially when you're second to a jackass."
- "I love SPORTS!"
- The scene where Kaz finds out Helena's in the hospital, which plays out like someone reading dialogue from an Abridged Series completely seriously.Kaz: I'll bring her a big Toblerone.
Mr. St. Tessero: How thoughtful.
Mrs. St. Tessero: Honey. (close up of a plate of food) The snacks are ready.
Mr. St. Tessero: Kaz, I've gotta go. Snacks are ready.
- Sailor's cat has its own treadmill.
- While shopping for outfits for the Black and White Ball, Lexy and Gottlieb try on a pair of tuxedo masks.
- Kaz and Arcangelo have another confrontation in the Bergdorf's fitting room.
- The script has some fun with the title of the Damien Hirst art piece being targeted by demons, "For the Love of God".Curator: Kaz! Kaz, For the Love of God, it's gone!
Kaz: What's gone?
Curator: The Damien Hirst skull, For the Love of God!
- "Tonight the Metropolitan Museum of Art will run red with the blood of the bourgeoisie!"
- "I can see you, bitch"
- Kaz, in a funk after dropping off the Bachelor Board, is enticed to meet Agatha for lunch by the promise of squid ink fettuccine.Kaz: Well... it is the most melancholy pasta.
- Kaz and Prof. Muhly's first meeting where the "odd duck" music teacher criticizes the school dress code.Prof. Muhly: It is so conservative, just like you.
Kaz: My style is not conservative.
Prof. Muhly: Girl, you are wearing khakis right now.
Kaz: (defensively) These are Ralph, though! Purple Label.
- "Come to my apartment, we can get high and have a fashion show."
- Charles is unconvinced that Prof. Muhly is the demon sympathizer: "And he possesses a broach with an occult symbol that has been used in mainstream culture to such an extent that it is almost entirely devoid of occult meaning."
- Kaz confronts Prof. Muhly, who is seemingly leading a ritual surrounded by hooded figures and Ominous Latin Chanting.Kaz: The real question is what are you doing in this demonic chapel?!
Prof. Muhly: (incredulously) Demonic chapel? This is a club, my boyfriend's the DJ. He spins Gregorian house.
(Chanting morphs into a house music remix as the hooded figures throw off their cloaks and start dancing)
- "In fact, the only worthwhile thing about you is your taste in luxury chocolate."
- After Kazs attempts to enforce the school dress code result in it being abolished, the headmaster feels the need to point out that hes fired.
- The over-the-top entrance of Mila Malevich, the Soviet race car driver Kaz is assigned to protect. She flies in with her race car from Moscow atop a flying saucer blasting Russian house music that lands in a Neo Yokio park surrounded by throngs of cheering fans waving Soviet flags.Kaz: Race car drivers are so full of themselves.
Agatha: Humility would only slow them down.
- Arcangelo, Kaz, Mila, Lexy, and Gottlieb go on a pub crawl the night before the Grad Prix, visiting a series of drinking establishments ranging from a highbrow cabaret to a suspicious apartment with a live tiger reclining in the living room:Mila: In Soviet Union, government would never let you keep tiger in apartment block.Lexy: Yo, I don't think it's allowed in Neo Yokio either, but we in the hood.
- When Kaz and Charles need to buy Mila's uniform back from the fisherman she gave it to, the fisherman manages to haggles a few hundred dollars out of them and begins to undress very slowly.
- As the Remembrancer barges into Kaz's apartment searching for the fugitive Helena, he drops this absolute gem of a line:Remembrancer: Don't know what it is about a well-decorated apartment, but it makes me wanna smoke. Do you mind?Kaz: Uh Yeah, sure.Charles: Actually, the young master's neighbors are quite sensitive to smoke. Best not to.Remembrancer: Good thing I brought my vape.
- To distract from the fact that the "Mila" being interviewed by the press before the Grand Prix is in fact Helena wearing Mila's jumpsuit and helmet, Kaz abruptly jumps in front of the microphone to end the press conference.Kaz: Miss Malevich has no words for you puppets of the West. Communism forever! (Grabs Helena and runs from the room)
- The introduction of Agatha's sister, Angelique, when Kaz goes to pick her up from the airport.Kaz: Can I take your bags?
Angelique: (good-naturedly) Hell no, motherfucker. Carrying my luggage makes me feel alive.
- "I'm gonna sing a god damn song."
- The latest designer drug in Neo Yokio is MDNA.Arcangelo: It's Molly, mixed with the genetic code of a demon.
- When the Sales Clerk is fired from the Bergdorf Goodman department store due to a dip in holiday sales, the process takes place in a dimly-lit back room, officiated by a computer projecting the image of a pink-haired anime schoolgirl called "Bergdorf-chan." This is treated as normal.