- When Exetor first contacts Meacham:Exetor: It's not possible that a man of your scientific curiosity wouldn't want to find out who I am, where I come from.
Tom Servo: If I have pants on.
- After Exetor invites Meacham to join him for dinner.Tom Servo: Then I'll ram my ovapositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest. But I'm not an alien!
- And of course, the lyrics they add to a badly timed dramatic musical sting:
- As Exetor gives the hard sell to Cal and Ruth in his office:Exetor: We hope to solve the mysteries of the universe like, who we are, where we came from...Servo: Why I have a picture of a burger on the wall...
- As Cal's plane glows bright green:Mike: Well, suddenly I have a refreshing mint flavor!
Servo: Early LSD tests in the air force!
Servo: Oh, there's a Green Switch; it was there all the time!
- After Cal seats himself on Exetor's airplane:Servo (as airline captain): Our in-flight movie is Fearless!
- As a man on the ship looks out of a huge window:Crow: Isn't he sitting too close to the TV?
- When Exetor appears on screen:Mike:: Nanu, nanu.
- Their comments on Cal's experiment, noting how it looks a lot like breakfast being put into a toaster:Crow: "The secret government Eggo project."
Servo: "Start warming the syrup!"
Mike: "Oh my god, my waffle! Oh the humanity!"
- From the German dub, as the Mute-Ant first appears:Servo: Oh, mein Gott, Ilona Christen!Translation
- "Into the weenie mobile...Weenie Man away!"
- "G.I. Joe Action Set! Nerdy Joe not included!"
- "I'm gonna curl up in his sock drawer and sleep for days."
- The whole opening sequence where Crow tries to tunnel through space, to establish for new viewers that Crow is a Grade-A Cloud Cuckoolander:Crow: I found the perfect spot! Once I break through this wall, we'll tunnel our way right back to Earth!
Tom: Crow, you big dope - you can't "tunnel" through space.
Crow: (Affecting a British accent) Come, come, boys! We must confound Jerry at every turn!
(moments later, explosive decompression begins)
Crow: Well, this is confusing! Hey, Mike, you want to hand me my calculations? (They blow into his face) Thank you! Oh, look at that; "Breach hull, all die". Even had it underlined.
- Later, after the crisis has passed:Crow: Well, believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid, and...I went ahead anyway.
- The alternate ending provides a Brick Joke as Crow tries to "tunnel" back to Earth again, this time using a chainsaw.
- Later, after the crisis has passed:
- Poor Joe gets to be the Brains' whipping boy for the first act:Joe: You know what my kids would say...Servo: "You're not my real father!"
- From the Deleted Scene:Crow: Ha, ha, ha! Who needs air?
Mike: (pissed) I do!
- Gypsy giving Mike mouth-to-mouth.
- After Cal has unpacked the Interocitor parts, which are strewn about the floor:Cal: "There are two-thousand, four-hundred, and eighty-six parts here..."(Joe takes a step)Crow: *Crunch* "Four eighty-five, sir."
- The overdramatic door sequence.
- Tom reveals that he's had an interocitor (a way to communicate with Earth) sitting in his room all along, but didn't think it was important.
- Onscreen, Cal Meacham flies over the Grand Canyon. Mike mistakes it for a pothole:Mike: Oh, for - when are they gonna fill that in?!
- Cal grabbing a metal cylinder and waling on the Mutant's giant, exposed brain:Crow (as Mutant): *WOMP!* "Ow, I'm very vulnerable there!" *WHAP!* "Ow— there go the piano lessons!" *BONK!* "Oh, now I can't remember my dad!!"
- Cal's imprisoned in a life-support tube while Ruth shrieks mindlessly and runs around, somehow failing to escape a hilariously slow rubber-suited monster.Cal, onscreen: Run, Ruth, run!
Tom, in the theater: Brilliant strategy. Thanks, Napoleon!
- The moment Russell Johnson's character walks into frame: "What's this And the Rest crap?!"
Funny / Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie