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Funny / Mystery Men

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  • A burning trash can behind the Spleen suffers a small and rather mysterious explosion.
    The Spleen: Excuse me!
    • A great example of Throw It In!. It wasn't scripted. A crew member had thrown a lighter into the barrel and it exploded.
  • When Mr. Furious tries to turn around and leave during the Power Walk.
  • About the lack of villains due to the lack of a Cardboard Prison:
    Vic: Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician. You want big news, you have to have big fights. A superhero needs a supervillain. And thanks to you, we've got none left.
    Captain Amazing: Then get... the... Death Man!
    Captain Amazing: Okay — Father Doom.
    Vic: Life without parole. Apocalypto's doing fifty years. Armagezzmo's in exile. Baron von Chaos got the chair —
    Captain Amazing: (legitimately surprised) Really?
    Vic: Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nut house...
    • Captain Amazing has sewn-on patches of various brand name logos of corporate sponsors on his suit.
    • Captain Amazing's publicist Vic is played by the late Ricky Jay who was, in fact, a magician in Real Life making his above line funnier.
  • Anything the Sphinx says.
    • "You dress in the manner of a male prostitute!"
    • "You must run like the wolf pack, not the six pack!"
    • "You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums!"
    • "We are number one. All others are number two, or lower."
  • The main characters break in to save Captain Amazing. He starts giving them directions on how to rescue him. It turns into a Seinfeldian Conversation about toggle flips. Things take a rather serious downward turn.
    Blue Rajah: Oh my God. We killed him.
    The Shoveler: What do you mean, 'we'? I was right over here.
    The Bowler: I'm gonna check his pulse... (She touches Amazing's wrist lightly: his hand snaps off) ...I don't think he's gonna pull through.
  • The original trio are trying to recruit some extra crime-fighters to take on the Disco Boys. Astoundingly, they find themselves turning down a lot of eager applicants.
    • The Waffler (Dane Cook):
      " the Waffler, with my griddle of justice I bash the enemy on the head or...I burn like so (presses it to his face)."
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    • Pencilhead and Son:
      "Evening, I am Pencilhead"
      "and I'm Son of Pencilhead".
      "... We erase crime."
    • "I'm...the BALLERINA MAN!!!"
    • "PMS Avenger. I only work 4 days a month. You got a problem with that?!"
      Everyone: "No!"
    • A woman shows up in a stars-and-stripes inspired outfit, about to introduce herself. Another woman who seems to know her, wearing the same thing, runs up and accuses her of stealing the idea for the alter-ego.
  • Michael Bay's sole line: "Dude....can we bring the brewskis?" To which Casanova replies, "Yes, of course, you may absolutely bring ze brewskis!" Then the entire Frat Boys gang cheers.
  • Mr. Furious injuring himself in the process of starting his motorcycle.
    Mr. Furious: ...Testicles...rising...
  • From the training montage:
    Mr. Furious: (balancing a tack hammer on his head) Why am I doing this, again?
    The Sphinx: When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
    Mr. Furious: And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?
    The Sphinx: (looks at the watermelon on Mr. Furious' feet) (beat) I don't remember telling you to do that.
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  • Casanova Frankenstein's constant "hipster" talk, especially funny given his accent. "Tonight I am going to do to Champion City what I have done to its greatest superhero. Und there will still be time to get up, get down und boogie!"
  • When asked by a reporter what his superpower is after the Final Battle, Mr. Furious says he's in a "super amount of pain."
  • When sneaking into Casanova Frankenstein's place, the group trigger something out in the yard that starts making an ominous noise. While they're arguing over what kind of death trap it could be... it turns out to be the sprinklers.
  • The aftermath of Invisible Boy finally getting to use his powers, which only work when no one looks at him. His clothes don't turn invisible, so he needed to strip off. Then, naked Invisible Boy turns visible as soon as his teammates look at him again. Apparently, he's pretty impressive.
    Invisible Boy: (having deactivated the security system) I'M INVISIBLE! I DID IT! CAN YOU SEE ME?!
    Everyone Else: YES.
    Mr. Furious:
    Blue Rajah: Two hands there, son. (Invisible Boy covers himself)
    Bowler: Maybe, you wanna put some shorts on, if you feel like fighting any more crime today?
  • Mr. Furious has a day job at a junkyard. He shows up late ('oh, gee, so I guess all the junk is ruined now.') His boss explains his schedule for the day:
    Sally: Eyyy, sucka, when you gonna tear down that jeep like I told you to?
    Roy: That "jeep" is actually an armored car of some kind. I can't just rip it apart with a crowbar—
    Sally: Jus' junk it.
    Roy: Well, maybe if you gave the proper tools, I could—
    Sally: Junk it!
    Roy: All right, you know what? I'm willing to have this discussion with you, but I think we should deal with it like two people who resp—
    Sally: I want it junked.
    Roy: Okay, right now, I'm kinda like a powder-keg, and you're the match. If you tell me to junk it one more time
    Sally: JUNK IT NOW! Y'got that?
    Roy: [crushes the life out of a tension ball] That little sucker just saved your life!
    Sally: A-HA-HA-HA-HA! Jus' junk it, y'miserable cuss!
  • This exchange:
    The Shoveller: All right, I'll take point, you two flank. Let's triangulate.
    The Spleen: Equilateral or isosceles?
  • The Blame-Thrower is exactly what it sounds like. Anyone fired upon starts spouting blame toward other people in the vicinity. When fired at the Not-So-Goodie Mob, played by actual hip-hop group The Goodie Mob, they start battle-rapping.

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