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Funny / Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

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As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

  • The opening scene with the kitchen boy trying and failing to find two symmetrical eggs for Poirot's breakfast. Eventually Poirot takes pity on the boy and gives him his breakfast, telling him the chicken is to blame, while he goes out to solve the case.
    • Given that the police officer impatiently waiting for him is also the one who committed the crime in the first place, and Poirot is relatively certain that he is the culprit, he's also deliberately trolling him.
    • Achieves Brick Joke status when Poirot is delighted at the equal-sized eggs on the Orient Express.
    • In a Deleted Scene, Poirot fights off the corrupt police. Swinging his cane, he actually slices off the tops of two eggs the boy has brought him. He's at first surprised, then does a reverent Mon ami! because now they're perfectly matched!
  • On his way to a crime scene, Poirot accidentally steps in.. camel excrement. It's not stepping in the poop that bothers him, it's the "Imbalance". And so, he hesitantly proceeds to step his other foot in the poop.
    • And then sighs in relief once he's done. His shoes might be covered in shit, but at least they match now.
  • While solving the case of a stolen holy artifact, Poirot doesn't hesitate to mention the irony that the three suspects happen to be a priest, a rabbi and an imam.
  • The inspector getting clotheslined was pretty funny to see. It's even funnier in that Poirot positioned his cane in the Wailing Wall perfectly a good five minutes before he bolted.
  • When Poirot first meets Miss Debenham:
    Debenham: I know your moustache! From the papers! You're the detective, Hercules Poirot?
    Poirot: Hercule Poirot. I do not slay the lions.
    • Becomes a Brick Joke later when Ratchet keeps referring to Poirot as "Hercules".
  • M. Bouc is introduced running around with a prostitute when he happens across Poirot. As the two men are chatting, a police officer arrives to give Poirot a telegram. Poirot's initial response is "Are you a prostitute as well?"
    • The woman cheerfully agrees that she's a prostitute because she's so starstruck at meeting the famous detective.
  • Pilar's Establishing Character Moment. She's just walking through the crowd all quiet and nervous. Then, a man's hand touches her rear-end, and she punches him. That one punch rallies other nearby women to beat upon the man. Pilar meekly just backs away from the fight she started.
  • When a photographer tries to take a picture of the Count, the latter knocks the camera out of his hands and violently flips him over on his back.
    • Then along comes the Countess who calms him down with just one look. Another photographer tries to take a picture of her too. But both Count and Countess give him a Death Glare, and the photographer, remembering what happened to the first guy, smashes his camera onto the floor.
  • When Professor Hardman first goes on a rant about "the mixing of races", he points at Ms. Debenham's wine glasses and makes an allegory that it would be like "mixing red wine with white wine". In response, Debenham pours one into the other and drinks it right up, without so much as grimacing.
    Debenham: I always liked a good rosé.
  • Poirot laughing while reading his books. It feels relateable, reading something funny in a good book. Better yet, it's a book by Charles Dickens.
  • Poirot has two sleeping masks. One for his eyes, and the other for keeping his trademark mustache in place.
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  • Ina Deleted Scene: The reason Poirot appears to be far more slender than his usual appearance? He wears a very tight corset that isn't very comfortable.
  • Poirot trying to make Ratchett's dessert even.
  • One of the reasons Poirot won't protect Ratchett? He doesn't like his face. No, literally. He doesn't like how there's a scar on one side of Ratchett's face.
  • When the avalanche stops the train:
    Poirot: *lying on the floor of his compartment in a daze* Did we die?
  • Caroline having no reservations about telling Poirot that she is a husband hunter.
    • At one point, she remarks that Poirot is sharp like her 2nd husband (or 1st husband, she can't remember), whose head was "turnip-shaped".
  • When Poirot asks MacQueen about his late employer.
    Poirot: Did he have any enemies?
    MacQueen: Pick a number.
    • Elsewhere in the same conversation:
    Poirot: You were fond of him?
    MacQueen: I was fond of his money.
  • Despite it being the turning point of the movie, M. Bouc has his moment.
    Bouc: [first sees Ratchet's dead body] Good God. First the snow, and now this. I'll have to make a statement at some grimy police station.
    Poirot: A man has died.
    Bouc: And a man has died.
  • While this next scene is an another overall serious moment, M. Bouc tries to break the news of the murder gently to the other passengers with little success. Poirot decides to help.
    Bouc: Uh, ladies and gentlemen. Allow me to... um... it appears that our bad luck has worsened. That is... uh...
    Poirot: A passenger has died on the train.
  • Whilst interrogating MacQueen, Poirot tries (and fails) to use the expression "fudged".
    Poirot: Fudge, it is full of the fudge!!
  • During his interrogation, Gerhard talking bad about different races, mentioning the Belgians. Given Poirot is Belgian himself, Gerhard realizes he's Digging Himself Deeper and shuts up. But already, Poirot has a wide-eyed, offended frown as though thinking "Excuse me?"
  • Austrian professor Gerhard reveals that his racist views were all an act and that he was undercover. Once he removes his glasses, he speaks in his native New York accent and mentions he's half Jewish.
    • Even before that, Poirot tells Gerhard he figured out the "Professor's" true identity when he heard him mispronounce a particular word. Gerhard has an expression that clearly says "Dang! How could I slip up?"
  • When Poirot is interviewing the different passengers, Marquez very cheerfully says to ask whatever he wants because Marquez has given up lying. When it cuts back to him, he's telling them about how he broke out of prison in Mexico and bribed his way to the United States, all in the same cheerful, chipper tone.
  • Poirot introduces himself to MacQueen as his bunkmate: "I am equally disappointed in you."
  • Bouc, a self-described "terrible person" who is fond of women and the pleasures of life, offers the passengers some complimentary wine. Pilar, the missionary, refuses the offer claiming that drinking is the threshold of sin. Bouc's nonchalant answer? "We must never speak again."
  • Dr. Arbuthnot and MacQueen were one another's alibis, and they both claimed they had to correct the other's opinions on Stalin. It's clear, despite their continued goodwill towards one another, neither was converted to the other's way of thinking at the end.
  • In the end, Poirot receives news that there's been a murder on the Nile. Despite what he's just been through, he gives a slightly wide-eyed look at the messenger as though thinking "You're kidding me! I just came all this way from the Middle East!"


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