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Funny / Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

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  • John bluffs his way into a backroom poker game with three Irish mobsters, waiting for their fourth member, Lucky, to show up. Once Lucky enters, John kills all four mobsters Guns Akimbo. Then he peeks at the hand of one of the mobsters and is pissed off to learn the guy was bluffing with a pair of threes.
  • John vs. Jane inside their house. Mundane Utility Ensues.
  • John's chanting after he crawls up into the building to retrieve "The Tank": "Turn [the lights] back on! Turn'embackonturn'embackonturn'embackon!"... after having just insistently demanded she kill them.
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  • Jane learning that John was married once before: "What's her name and social security number?" "No, you're not gonna kill her!"
  • The scene in the van where, as they're being chased by goons, they're revealing all the little lies that they've told each other as covers over the years. Once the fight's over, it's capped with:
    John: We're going to have to redo every conversation we've ever had.
    Jane: ...I'm Jewish.
    • At one point, Jane reveals she's an orphan, and she hired paid actors to stand in for her folks at their wedding.
    John: I said - I said I saw your dad on Fantasy Island!
    Jane: [resigned] I know.
    • John later gripes, "I can't believe I brought my real parents to our wedding!"
    • Jane is later annoyed that John forgot to bring the present for her mother's birthday. John retorts, "Your fake mother!"
  • "Chicken shit!" "Pussy!" Screamed at each other from separate buildings.
  • John: "Honey, maybe you shouldn't undercut me in front of the hostage. It sends a mixed message." The Tank: (nods)
  • After they've kidnapped "The Tank," they start bickering in the van as they drive away. After the back and forth, "The Tank" pipes up from the back with, "Who ARE you people?!"
  • The part where John shoots at Jane's windshield on accident. Her face is priceless.
    John: (As the car is driving off with him, and Jane is left in the road) We need to talk! [Car ramps off an embankment with John still in the backseat]
    • Beautifully capped by John's own reaction to her face: "Oh, Dear God..."
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    • The best bit is that all of that was an accident. Pitt was supposed to do an Unnecessary Combat Roll through the fence, but slipped, then ad-libbed that he accidentally shot the car. Everyone loved it so much they wrote around it to Throw It In!.
  • The dinner scene where John is feeling extremely paranoid about everything Jane serves him. Especially when he finally forces himself to take a bite of his dinner, only for her to eat something entirely different.
  • Jane as a dominatrix. "Have you been selling big guns to bad people?"
  • Jane's next door neigbour notices she's still wearing her fishnet stockings and hooker boots under her nice dress.
  • The restaurant scene, between John quipping "thanks for giving me the shaft," the two disarming each other mid-dance, and John's appreciative look at Jane's style of escape. Which of course plays into...
  • Jane T-boning John's stolen limo so that she can make it into the driveway first, followed by John running through the bushes and trying not to tip off one of his neighbors as to what's going on.
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  • During the last scenes they fight Jane starts throwing knives to kill some goons... And she accidentally hits one of John's leg. He then looks at her very annoyed, without a slight hint of pain, and even tells her "We're gonna talk about this later".
  • Meta - Ironic Name with Benjamin "The Tank" Danz. This guy in charge of a terrorist group is played by Adam Brody, a slim, medium-height man described as "Unapologetically nerdy" by Times magazine. It is lampshaded by both spouses when they first see his photo.
  • The final scene, where the two are back in front of the marriage counselor. Jane brightly mentions, "We redid the house!" And in the opening, the therapist asked how their sex was, on a scale of one to ten. In the final scene, John interrupts the therapist with, "Ask us the sex question again," then mouths "Ten" and holds up all his fingers, clearly proud.
  • "And search the database." "For what? 'John Smith'?"


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