Chowder screaming "I'm too young to die!" when the house tries to eat them.
And there's this in that same scene:
Chowder: Jenny, I've always loved you!
Mr. Nebbercracker's first appearance involves him running out onto his front lawn, shrieking at a little girl on a tricycle, "Do you want to be eaten alive?!" is frightening in one sense, but takes a funny turn when she answers, "No."
During the flashback of the house's origin, a paperboy tosses a paper at the house. The house immediately tosses it back at him and smacks him off his bike.
The running gag of the boys' pee bottles. Spending all night staring at the house, the boys forego using the restroom and relieve themselves in their empty Mountain Dew bottles. The next morning, Zee comes in to check on them, and absentmindedly picks up one of the bottles, only for DJ to tell her "Don't drink those." Later, Jenny comes up to the room where the boys fight over trying to impress her when:
Jenny: [spots the bottle] Is that PEE? If it is, that's really gross! Chowder: [gasps] D.J, you pee in bottles?? D.J: What do you mean, this is your pee!
Chowder's sadness over losing his basketball in Nebbercracker's yard:
Chowder:[in tears] I paid 28 dollars for that ball! I raked ten yards! And asked my mom for a dollar 26 times! I never worked that hard in my life!
Shortly after, Nebbercracker catches DJ on his lawn and DJ makes the mistake of scuffing the grass as he tries to avoid him, with Nebbercracker's Berserk Button being hit in the process. He then grabs DJ and the pair have this conversation. Turns into Mood Whiplash shortly after when Nebbercracker has a heart attack, but the delivery of the lines by DJ and Nebbercracker beforehand is just hilarious.
Nebbercracker: You think you can just terrorize my lawn?!!! DJ: No, I'm sorry!
Nebbercracker: Do you want to be a DEAD PERSON??!!
DJ: NO! I love life!
This dialogue when DJ and Chowder are escaping from the Monster House.
DJ: (as he and Chowder flee back into his house) Don't look back! Chowder: (looks back anyway and the house makes a scary face) AHHHH, I LOOKED BACK!
Chowder's insults at the house in the climax.
You ain't nothin'! You're a shack! You're anout-house!
There's also how he's triggers the excavator's horn all while being chased by the house.
And DJ's attempt at lightening a situation at the end.
Sorry about your house... and your wife... your house-wife.
DJ climbing out to destroy the house after getting a Motivational Kiss from Jenny.
DJ: [gleefully] I kissed a girl! I kissed a girl ON THE LIPS!
Jenny: If those are the teeth and that’s the tongue, then that must be the uvula. Chowder: Oh. So it’s a girl house... Jenny: *disgusted* What? No. It stimulates the gag reflex. Everyone has a uvula. Chowder: Not me.
Chowder getting hit in the face by his basketball.
Chowder: My nose is in my brain!
TV spots and trailers for the movie showed the house swallowing the police car whole with the cops inside, and all that there's left is the car's hubcap, which continues to spin in the middle of the street.
The house itself, despite being the antagonist of the movie, actually gets a few funny moments, especially in the original script.
There's one scene where the house shows Chowder his basketball to try and lure him in, and it uses the small staircase in its foyer to dribble it, and also somehow manages to draw a scary face on it.
One of the house's antics in the original script involves two characters that were cut from the movie, two neighborhood bullies named Ryan and Cameron, who throw eggs at the house. The house manages to catch the eggs with its tree branches and throws them back at the bullies.
Another one from the original script includes the house letting out a loud belch right after eating the vacuum cleaner-dummy.
It may be subject to Nightmare Retardant, but the way the script describes how the house was originally supposed to eat the squad car is strangely funny. It allegedly states that the house is holding the car with two of its tree-hands similar to how a human would hold a hamburger.
Chowder tells DJ to try being more calm and rational like Chowder himself. Chowder then mistakenly turns on the bulldozer he was playing on and freaks the hell out.
Skull cuts off DJ's quick Exposition Dump about the haunted house problem with this:
Skull: Calm down! You're making me want to throw up in some tinfoil and eat it! [Jenny grimaces]
Skull rudely backing out of his conversation with the kids only to gag in pain (presumably because he suffers from low sugar levels) awkwardly return, steal a piece of crunchy chocolate from Chowder, and munching it down whilst staring right into DJ's eyes before running off.
At the very end of the credits, the little girl is humming the same tune from the beginning of the movie. Once again, it’s cut off with an “Ow!”
Chowder's opinion on the plan to get into the house - involving the theft of drugs and potential death - changes based on who likes it.
DJ: Questions? Chowder: Yes, umm, are you nuts? I don't wanna steal drugs from my Father, I don't wanna go inside a monster, and I don't wanna die! Jenny: I say it's worth a shot. Chowder: Yes I agree. Let's do it.
DJ's look at him afterwards just screams You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! at Chowder's blatant attempt to suck up to Jenny.
After Jenny hugs both Chowder and DJ at the movie's end, Chowder claims she grabbed his butt (bear in mind she hugged them both around the neck). DJ, whom Jenny had earlier kissed, simply congratulates him.
DJ and Jenny realise that trick or treaters will go up to the Monster House and inevitably get eaten, although Chowder brings up a pretty good point; namely, no child in their right mind would go up to Nebbercracker's house. This prompts the House to demonstrate it can lure people towards itself, by bringing out Chowder's basketball. The Ditz falls for it immediately and has to be stopped by his friends from going to retrieve it.
Chowder (With horrified realisation): It's going to be a bloodbath.
Even funnier is that it later works again in the House's basement, luring Chowder into an ambush of "Killer Slinkies!"
DJ tripping, coming face-to-face with and subsequently breaking Constant's concrete outline is a tense and startling moment, but Chowder's comment is sure to bring out a chuckle.
Chowder: Way to go, Big Nose!
The Say My Name moment as the kids get engulfed by the House's saliva;
For the climax of the movie where Constance as the house goes bipedal using the trees beside her, her VA while wearing a mocap suit had to lie on a skateboard using her arms as legs while making growling noises.
