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Funny / Moneyball

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One's bound to get this with a script that Aaron Sorkin helped write.

  • The daughter's song at the end of the movie is pretty bittersweet, with the concluding lyrics being "you're such a loser, dad."
  • The scenes between Billy Beane and the scouts.
    Billy Beane: Is there another first baseman like Giambi?
    Scout: No, not really.
    Billy Beane: If there was, could we afford him?
    Scout: No.
    Billy Beane: Then what the fuck are you talking about, man?
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  • Billy's first conversation with Peter Brand:
    Billy Beane: Who are you?
    Peter Brand: I'm Peter Brand.
    Beane: I don't give a rat's ass what your name is.
  • Beane, along with his coach Ron Washington, visits Scott Hatteberg, a former catcher, to tell him they're putting him at first:
    Hatteberg: I've only ever played catcher.
    Beane: It's not that hard, Scott. Wash, tell him.
    Washington: It's incredibly hard.
  • "Who's Fabio?"
    • "A shortstop. He's a shortstop with Seattle..."
  • Towards the end of the film, after once again falling short of the World Series, Peter and Billy sit in silence after watching the video of a minor league player who attempted to round first, embarassingly fell, then discovered he'd already hit a home run.
    Peter: ...It's a metaphor-
    Billy: -I know it's a metaphor.
  • David Justice has been asked to try and help Scott Hatteberg make the transition to first baseman by being a mentor and building up his confidence.
    David Justice: What's your biggest fear?
    Scott Hatteberg: A baseball being hit in my general direction. (both laugh)
    David: That's funny. Seriously, what is it?
    Scott: No, seriously, that is. (walks away)
    David: (calling after him) Well, hey, good luck with that.
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  • After Phillies GM Ed Wade agrees to deal for Jeremy Giambi, Beane hangs up, cutting Wade off mid-sentence:
    Peter: ...I think he was going to say something else.
  • After Billy tries to help Peter in the situation of talking to a player that he has to cut:
    Billy: Would you rather get shot in the head, or get shot five times in the chest and bleed to death?
    • It becomes even more hilarious when Billy forces Peter to tell Carlos Pena he's been traded. Peter is a complete Nervous Wreck as he explains the situation to Carlos and gives him his new itinerary. Meanwhile, Carlos is completely nonchalant about it, understanding that being traded is part of his job.


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