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Funny / Misery

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  • *DING!*
  • Paul's first written lines of his new novel: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
  • In the book, Paul's struggles with starting Misery's Return:
    It wasn't like him to labor so painfully, nor to half-fill a wastebasket with random jottings or half-pages which ended with lines like “Misery turned to him, eyes shining, lips murmuring the magic words "Oh you numb shithead THIS ISN'T WORKING AT ALL!!!"
  • Annie's...creative swear words. Which leads to the page image.
    Annie: He didn't get out of the cockadoodie car!
  • This gem from when Annie orders Paul to rewrite the story.
    Annie: You'll have to do it over again, it's not worthy of you. Throw it all out, except for that part of naming the gravedigger after me, you can leave that in.
    • The best part is that she doesn't seem to realize it's a Stealth Insult.
  • At the start of Annie's story about the chapter plays, Paul attempts to correct her by calling them cliffhangers, which only proceeds to set her off more.
    Annie: I know that, Mr. Man! They also call them serials! I'm not stupid, you know!
    • It becomes a bit of a running gag that she would actually be a fairly competent literary critic if she knew even an ounce of the jargon. If only someone sent her a link to TV Tropes.
  • Whenever Paul goes into an Imagine Spot parallel to his current situation. The horse-race announcements during his time alone in a locked room helped soften the horrifying situation.
  • From the book:
    Three nights ago, when he was sure she was upstairs, he had sneaked one of the sample boxes out and had read everything on the label, although he supposed he had read everything he needed when he saw what Novril's principal ingredient was. Maybe you spelled relief R-O-L-A-I-D-S, but you spelled Novril C-O-D-E-I-N-E.
  • Annie imitating her pet pig Misery's snorts.
  • The scene in the movie after Annie breaks Paul's ankles.
    Annie: (waving at him from outside) Hi, Pumpkin!
    Paul flips her the bird
    Annie: Such a kidder!
  • The fact that Annie's scrapbook that details all of her crimes also has an Elect Nixon pendant. Works whether it's hers or it's loot.
  • In the book, Paul pondering what he'll do if he should manage to break the top glass on one of Annie's home's doors: "Do a kamikaze dive out on onto the front porch? What a great idea. Maybe he could break his back, and that would take his mind off his legs for awhile."
  • A 1988 paperback version had this faux-cover of Misery's Return inside. The smirking, hunky hero looks familiar...
  • There is just something so darkly hilarious about this — In the novel, after Annie cuts off his foot, Paul sees a scar on the instep and he remembers how he got it. As a child he had stopped on a piece of broken bottle. He had cried and his father told him it was just a little cut and to stop acting like someone cut his goddamn foot off.
  • When trying to get out of the room, Paul uses a hairpin to unlock the door, despite never ever picking a lock before and just writing about it and loudly lampshading this. But it's his surprise when he actually picks the lock that makes the scene funny.
  • A very darkly funny example, but toward the end of the book, after Annie has cut off one of Paul's feet and his left thumb, Paul's thoughts idly run across Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", thinking of Annie and wondering if she's having fun. Then here hears Annie coming toward his room and thinks "something wicked this way comes", and to his horror, she's brought him a cake, with a "special candle" that turns out to be his thumb. He promises he'll be good so he won't have to eat the "special candle", as she threatens, and thinks "girls just want to have some fun, but something wicked this way comes, please don't make me eat my thumb".
  • In a rather brilliant move on the editor's part, after Annie gives the "HE DIDN'T GET OUT OF THE COCK-A-DOODIE CAR!" rant, with the camera zooming in on her face, we cut to Paul, trying desperately to not look like he crapped himself.
  • There's a moment in the book, where Paul, alone in the room, is fuming over Annie abducting him, withholding pain medication from him, and criticizing his writing skills.
  • At one point late in the novel, Paul realizes that one of the things he misses most about a life in freedom is being able to listen to rock music:
    Suddenly he wanted a hit of rock and roll worse than he had ever wanted a cigarette. It didn't have to be Cyndi Lauper. Anyone would do. Jesus Christ, Ted Nugent would be just fine.
  • In the novel, Paul forces himself to rationalize burning the manuscript:
    What are you going to do, lie here and suffer for a book that would sell half as many copies as the least successful Misery book you ever wrote, and which Peter Prescott would shit upon in his finest genteel disparaging manner when he reviewed it for that great literary oracle, Newsweek?
  • Movie-only. Almost every scene with Buster (and especially with his wife), up until he goes to Annie's house, is comedy gold.
  • When Annie reads Paul's new manuscript, she is overjoyed at Misery's resurrection:
    Annie: OH, MISERY IS ALIVE, MISERY IS ALIVE! Oh, this whole house is going to be full of romance! OOOH, I AM GOING TO PUT ON MY LIBERACE RECORDS!