Funny / Michael Cole

• Cole's attempts at trolling Jim Ross during Old School night.
  • Made even funnier by JR's refusal to even acknowledge Michael Cole's presence.
• When The Undertaker "hanged" Big Boss Man after winning WrestleMania XV's Hell in a Cell match, when Jerry Lawler was panicking and wanted someone to help Boss Man, we get this "Black Comedy" bit from Cole himself:
  Cole: But is it symbolic, King? Is the Undertaker hanging The Corporation?
• One infamously terrible segment of the 2002 Thanksgiving Special of WWE SmackDown featured Al Wilson dressed up as a turkey delivering a promo, where out of absolutely nowhere, Michael Cole screams at the top of his lungs "AAAAAAAAAHH! HEEEEEEELLLP!", only for the promo to continue like nothing happened. Considering that during this point in time, SmackDown shows were pre-recorded to allow for edits of commentary when necessary, fans remain befuddled as to where this came from, but the most common guess is that he was completely aware that the segment was a dumpster fire and was begging for someone to save them.
• After winning the Slammy for "And I quote" award of 2010, he prepared a speech but he was cut off before he could finish.
• Michael Cole's Slammy Award acceptance speech complete with humping Jerry Lawler.
  Cole: And all due respect to my mentor, the legendary J.R., "Slobbernocker!" and "My God!" are passe. Because it's a new era. It's the era of "Vintage!" and it's the era of "Oh My"! So forget "Boomer Sooner", Hook'em Horns!! Thank you very much!
• Michael Cole, in reference to Kofi Kingston's offense:
  Cole: Patented Kofi!
  Matt Striker: ...patented?
  Cole: I already said "vintage."
• During the opening match on one episode of NXT season 3 Cole found the match so horrible that he stopped his commentary and called his mother on the phone.
• Michael Cole getting so fed up with NXT he gongs them.
  • Another moment on NXT had him so bored with an Arm Wrestling challenge, he literally fell asleep at the announce desk. When he came to, he had no idea where he was.
• Instead of providing commentary for a match, Cole and Mathews ate popcorn and discuss the WWE film Knucklehead. They even invited Tony Chimel to join them with Mathews telling him to not read from their script
• When he vomited on Jericho seen here at the 10th anniversary of SmackDown. It won him a Slammy for the "Oh My!" Moment of 2009.
• Cole's return to NXT Season 4 during the Talent Show had him once again, trolling everyone in his path.
  Random Fan: You suck, Michael Cole!
  Cole: Yeah, and so does your city!
• Michael Cole bashes R-Truth for forgetting what city he's in during his entrance at the 2/7/11 edition of Monday Night RAW.
  • Made even funnier when the fans chant "Milwaukee! Milwaukee!" at him and Cole jumps up to start chanting it with them. The crowd IMMEDIATELY stops. You know you're a Creator's Pet when you can instantly squash the crowd trolling a wrestler simply by AGREEING with them. ^note The crowd can't usually hear the commentators, but in this case the Titantron cut to Cole happily jumping out of his seat to lead the chant. Once everyone saw it, they shut up.
• Admit it, you laughed when you saw the box and Cole referred to it as the "Cole Mine".
  • The fact that it's basically a Shrine to Self with his Slammies and douchey Cole stickers all over everything inside helps, too.
    • And for a brief time, the British flag after he was knighted.
• Michael's reaction to Jerry defeating Jack Swagger, meaning that Michael now had to face the King at Extreme Rules in a match of his choice! The expression on Michael's face can best be described as a perfect Oh, Crap! and he's pretty much in a mini Villainous Breakdown. This even funnier considering what a Smug Snake he was before that!
  • And after focusing his rage on Jack, Jerry informs him that he just blamed and slapped his tag-team partner in their match.
  Jerry to Jack: That's the guy who just slapped the taste out your mouth. What to you think of him now?
• After Stone Cold became the referee in his and Jerry's match at Wrestlemania, he kept on dumping beer on Cole. This is part of the reason for the aforementioned Cole Mine.
  • Not that it helped.
  • It's his own fault for not putting a roof on it.
• Cole has a Weaksauce Weakness, his inability to escape from handshakes, that has been taken advantage of by Daniel Bryan, Jerry Lawler, and the Rock. Usually a handshake is followed with a total Oh, Crap! expression when he realizes just how screwed he is, honestly should learn to stop accepting them.
  Bryan: (clamping down on Cole's hand) You call yourself a man and you can't even escape a handshake?!
  Lawler: (pulls Cole's arm through the hole in the Cole Mine, slamming his face into the wall repeatedly)
  The Rock: (clamping down on Cole's hand) Go Heat, bitch! ^note This episode took place in Miami during the lead-up to an NBA Finals series between the Miami Heat and the Boston Celtics. Guess what jersey Cole wore for the segment? (Rock Bottoms Cole)
• THIS. Thank you Jerry!
• It's mean, but on a recent episode of SmackDown. Cody Rhodes had passed out bags for people to put over their heads and when the camera focused on a kid taking his off, you hear Cole yell, "Put that bag back on, kid!"
• After Edge spears the Eagle.
  DEAD BIRD!! DEAD BIRD!! DEAD BIRD!!
• Jerry Lawler vs Michael Cole at Over The Limit. Only two words can describe it; Humiliation Conga.
• Pretty much everything that happened to Cole during the 7/25/11 RAW. First, his reaction to JR's return. He flips out on Triple H and jumps up on the announce table to start yelling at him and JR, looking a lot like a small child throwing a tantrum. Then Triple H puts him in a match, and since Cole doesn't have his orange singlet with him, tells Cole that he's had some special gear picked out for him in the back. When Cole finally comes out, it's to "King of Kings"...wearing Triple H's briefs. Cole actually cranks the hilarity up to eleven by trying to imitate Triple H's entrance...even down to the water bottle and mist spray. Then, to round the Humiliation Conga off, he gets squashed by Zack Ryder.
• On the 9/23 episode of WWE SmackDown!, The Usos were in a match with the tag team champions, Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne. Everything is going fine until Bourne makes the hot tag. Suddenly, Cole and Josh Matthews begin taking all of Booker T's lines, much to the latter's chagrin. Might not sound funny, but just imagine Cole saying "Shucky Ducky!" and try not to laugh.
• "With all due respect, he's also suffering...from anal bleeding." Booker T responds with the mother of all Flat "What"s, while Jim Ross can be seen muttering something under his breath. Given the rumors about that particular line, it's fully possible that this was a genuine reaction of shock that this line even made it onto programming.
• On the 8/28/2012 episode of Raw, Cole had the (Mis)fortune to do commentary alongside Kane, who came out to watch the Zack Ryder and David Otunga match, after Josh Matthews ran off in fear of Kane. What resulted was Cole trying to talk to Kane during the match, not getting a single word out of him, no matter what he said, such as saying that Matthews' seat was taken, asking Kane if he was into social media, giving various bits of info on Otunga, asking if Kane's anger Management classes worked for him, all while standing and not sitting next to Kane.
• Cole and Miz break away from normal commentary to lampshade their simultaneous departures from heeldom.
  Miz: That wasn't funny.
  Cole: Remember the days when you used to like my humor?
  Miz: Well remember the days when you used to stand up when I came out and and clap?
  Cole: (dismissive) Yeah I'm over that.
• Usually, JBL would often chant "WHAT'S UP?!" whenever R Truth does it. But Cole, apparently fed up with it at one point, yells at JBL "Shut up!"
• During the Beast Of The East special in Japan, Cole hosted with Byron Saxton and listed various Twitter hashtags that trended throughout the night. There were quite a bit, and at one point, #ColeAndSaxton was the #1 trend for a short time. Crosses over with heartwarming since the reaction between the two was quite Adorkable.
  Cole: Byron, look! We're trending!
  Saxton: (Embarassed) Oh, god.
• Now that Byron Saxton has joined the Raw commentary team, Cole has been trolling Saxton in a similar manner to a hazing.
  Saxton: I've got to get me a Cesaro Section sign!
  Cole: [Deadpan] Byron, no-one likes you.
• During Wrestlemania 32, The New Day end up coming out for their match dressed as Saiyans. That's a moment all on its own, but Cole then namedrops Vegeta in a moment that's simply surreal.
  • The following Wrestlemania has him happily namedropping how the New Day's outfits are based off of Final Fantasy (Red Mages, to be specific), also noting how he saw chocobo and moogles on their outfits and ice cream cart and, the kicker, telling Saxton how much of a Final Fantasy fan he is. What the...
• At the Greatest Royal Rumble, Fandango showed up a couple of places ahead of his partner Tyler Breeze. Corey Graves didn't know how Cole could tell it was him despite his distinctive music and the fact they were notified of his coming on their prompters.
  Cole: I read his name on the screen, you goof! [...] Plus, Tyler Breeze has different music than Fandango does.
  • When Chad Gable came out next Cole trolled Corey over this again.
• Every time Dominik Mysterio shows up on a show Cole is commentating post-Face–Heel Turn, expect Cole to eviscerate him on commentating a la Jim Ross and Triple H. Take his commentary during Dom's entrance for his match with his father Rey Mysterio at WrestleMania for example:
  Cole: This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever witnessed! They should have left this Orange Is the New Black wannabe back in prison and thrown away the key!
  • Prior to that at the Royal Rumble, when Dominik came out with his dad's mask (adding on to that, Rey didn't show up for his entry, presumably due to The Judgment Day attacking him backstage), Cole nearly calls him "an absolute piece of shit" before Corey Graves cuts him off.