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Funny / Maximum Ride

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  • Anytime Angel reads someone's mind, and then proceeds to spout off their embarrassing thoughts.
  • Anytime Gazzy lets off one of his notorious farts. Especially Max's reactions to said notorious farts.
  • Nudge's endless motormouth.
  • The three oldest flock members.
  • Anything Total says or does.
  • Max's occasional use of Buffy Speak, as if to remind us that she is in fact a teenager. Or her more unique minced oaths, such as "Holy mud" or "You are in deep sneakers."
  • When any of the flock (more often than not Max or Fang) tries to drive.
    Max: Even Fang had winced at that last gear-grinding.

    The Angel Experiment 

  • Max, upon seeing Ella being harassed by gang members:
    Don't even get me started on the whole Y chromosome thing. I live with three guys, remember? They're three of the good ones, and they're still obnoxious as all get out.
  • Ari getting sprayed with green paint by Nudge. Even better when, next time he appears, it still hasn't come off.
  • Max's reaction to her first bite of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. And her fetish-y drive to look for another cookie that's anywhere near as delicious.
  • The fast-food restaurant in the desert.
    Clerk: Feeding a crowd?
    Fang: Yes ma'am.
    Max: (thinking) Yeah, him and all his split personalities.
    Max: They looked like starving orphan children. Hey! They were starving orphan children.
  • The entire scene at the Garden Tavern. Full. Freaking. Stop.
  • "I shot him the bird. Get it? I shot him the - Never mind."
  • This little argument when the flock is getting made over:
    Gazzy: I still wish you'd let me get "Bite Me" shaved into the back of my head.
    Max: No.
    Gazzy: Iggy got his ear pierced.
    Max: Nein.
    Gazzy: (imitating the stylist) But everyone does it!
    Max: O-nay.
  • The schizo hacker fleeing Max and company in fright (the second time).
    Fang: I can't take you anywhere.
    Max: (narrating) I so wish he weren't all banged up - so I could whack him.
  • Angel getting to keep Total, and Fang's reasoning to Max:
  • Iggy's introduction in the manga.
    Iggy: (bumps into something off-screen) OW! (coming into view) Who moved the coffee table?
    Max: (sheepish) Sorry, Iggy. The hallway just looked so empty.
    Iggy: (flopping onto a couch) Well, warn me next time. Remember, I'm blind.
    Max: (thinking) Then please act like you are.

    School's Out - Forever 
  • The flock's encounter with the FBI at the hospital.
  • Max forgetting that Fang is going by the fake name of Nick.
    Iggy: So, Fnick, can I change the channel? There's a game on.
    Fang: Make yourself at home, Figgy.
  • The reactions to Gazzy's suggestion that the girls take the extra bed.
    Max: Excuse me, sexist piglet?
    Nudge: Yeah. Like, I'm too much of a cream puff to sleep on the floor?
  • Total can talk!
    Total: Yeah. So? It's not like I lied about it. Between you and me, I'm still trying to get used to the whole flying-kid thing.
  • Total getting coffee served in his doggie dish.
  • The angry, Large Ham known as Headmaster Pruitt.
    • And Gazzy's imitation of Pruitt on the way home from school.
  • "If you're ever feeling a lack of middle-aged white men, just pop into the Capitol."
  • Sam's description of "hell dinner" to Max.
    Mom will try to keep Aunt Phyllis away from the liquor, but it won't work.
  • Disney World.
  • The patchwork Toyota Echo.
    • Fang putting "Jigsaw" in reverse.
  • Clone!Max's first encounter with the flock. She's very shocked that Original!Max doesn't do the cooking.
    • Even funnier is that this is how the flock realized she was a fake.
    Max: Did you know that wasn't me, the other Max?
    Fang: Yeah.
    Max: When?
    Fang: Right away.
    Max: How? We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?
    Fang: She offered to cook breakfast.
  • The reaction to "Does anyone wanna sing 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, following the reaction to Max asking if they want Total to sit in the backseat of Jigsaw.

    Saving The World And Other Extreme Sports 

  • Gazzy singing a "Weird Al" Yankovic song exactly like the original. And when you find out what the song is about...
    Nudge: Enough with the constipation song.
  • Total making a little suggestion: "Let's lift some cards. We could play Texas Hold 'Em. I would kick your butts."
    • Which makes Angel wonder how Total could play cards when he has no fingers or thumbs. Unless...?
  • Max's dopey profession of love to Fang while under the influence of Valium. This, along with the final result of Max's chip-removing microsurgery leads to a truly epic Mood Whiplash and Humiliation Conga combination attack.
    Max: My shriek of appalled rage could have been heard in California, or maybe Hawaii.
  • Roland ter Borcht. Perhaps the biggest source of Narm in the entire series. Seriously, just read his lines out loud in your best Arnold Schwarzenegger accent. You. Will. Die. ROF Ling.
  • An Itex underling comes to take away Iggy and Gazzy for extra tests during the whole Mind Screw incarceration period. Thirteen words: "Now, skedaddle on out of here, before we turn you into a doorstop."
  • Fang really doesn't want to have an Enemy Mine with Ari...
    Fang: Choose now. Me or him.
    Max: Gosh, Fang, you romantic fool. How incredibly sexist-pig of you.
  • Nudge: "I wanna go see the Eiffel Towel!"
  • Max decides to save the girls and Ari a little energy by having them fly to England...on a plane.
  • Since "they're all guys here," Fang complies with Iggy's request to describe the hot beach bunnies, knowing that were Max there they'd get slammed for being sexist pigs.
    • Don't forget Iggy's reaction to Fang's incredibly visual descriptions.
    • The boys' entire stay in Los Angeles.
  • The responses from kids visiting Fang's blog. Grammar optional.
    • One particular commenter asks whether a member of the flock would lay eggs or have children normally. Fang's response?
  • When Nudge wants to see the "Loovra," Max refuses, saying "There isn't enough Valium in the world to get me in there."
  • Max and company spot the infamous Max II, as well as Nudge II and Angel II!
    • And Total is so offended that he didn't get a clone.
  • Nudge points out that there shouldn't be prisons in the new "perfect world."
    Max: Decades of psycho logic picked apart in ten seconds by an eleven-year-old. Take That!, modern science!
  • Fang's Ironic Echo to the Flyboys: "I am one of many! I am one of many! You have no idea!" Also doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
  • And, in the end, the boys request souvenirs from Europe...
    Iggy: Yeah! Like, a French girl!
    Max: Can we say "sexist pig one more time?

    The Final Warning 




  • Max: My obituary would read "killed by love." If I'd died, that is, and if I'd had such a smarmy obit. Which, please, spare me, I beg you.
  • Yet another instance of Dylan provoking a total Squee bomb by making a public appearance with the rest of the flock.
  • Fang's Gang. Especially the interactions between Ratchet and the girls. Especially-especially Ratchet and Kate.
    • When Fang's Gang has a Cheese Whiz fight. "the gang burst through the door, howling and armed with… Cheez Whiz."


  • Max yelling at Dylan to get ready for school...only to point out Max is still in her pajamas.
  • It speaks volumes that, less than twenty pages into the final book, this is the last truly funny moment in the entire series. Goes to show how dark and dangerous the apocalypse truly is.