What happens when you combine a comic book world's volatile personalities and bizarre situations with a World of Snark? More funny than you can shake a stick at.
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Deadpool
Deadpool in general, really.
- His introduction to the new PvP tournament and his being a new recruitable/winnable character."You want 'MORE INFO'? I'm flattered, you must like me. That was a haiku.""I like beaches, puppies and getting caught in the rain.""I promise I come with swords and guns!""I want to grow up to be a dragon, and I see dead people. Well, I make dead people. But I usually see them after.""Press the Action Button to continue! Wait, wrong game."
- Deploying him in SpecOps 6 resulted in this conversation:Deadpool: Agent...ah, never mind. You. The one with the mouse. Did you buy me or win me? Just curious.Deadpool: If I go do this mission for you, you gotta promise me something. Send me on a mission with Wanda. A Team-Up! Pleeeeeaase. I want to team her up real bad.Deadpool: That's just between you and me. Also, hey, tell the developers that they better saddle up and build Bob, Agent of HYDRA. I mean it. I'm lonely.[later]Deadpool: Now that's over with, how about we trade places? You go on balls-out crazy ninja missions and I'll kick back and drink your coffee and pretend I'm not playing Alliance when the boss walks by. Sound good? Sweet.
- His deploy in SpecOps 8:Intro Text: Ultron has released a horde of androids, and we need someone to delay their advance. It's a suicide mission, and there's only one man we can afford to lose: Deadpool.Nick Fury: Deadpool, we need you to-Deadpool: I accept! I'm honored, truly.Nick Fury: ... Wait, I haven't even-Nick Fury: What in the world are you-Deadpool: -going to get you for your retirement party? A nice set of vibranium golf clubs. Or maybe a gold eyepatch. Should impress all those lonely widows at the old folks home, am I right?Deadpool: -go get me the keys to the helicarrier? Sweet!...Hey is that an army of deadly, razor-limbed robots coming this way, or some kind of flash mob thing?[Later]Maria Hill: We have the androids contained, Agent. Deadpool was able to delay them long enough for backup to arrive. Unfortunately, he survived.Deadpool: Hoo-whee! That sure did exercise the ol' healing factor. Think I left a few Wades worth of severed limbs on the street. Maria, be a doll and get a cleanup crew down there. And throw out all that World War II crap Nick left in my new office!
- In Season 2, Chapter 2, Wade has finally "convinced" the developers to add Bob, agent of HYDRA. Wolverine's Heroic Battle against Deadpool and Bob can be quite frustrating but the extreme hilarity, pop culture references and lambasting the fourth-wall are well-worth it, win or lose.
- During Season 2, Chapter 4, Deadpool gets a deploy mission. He doesn't know what it would be for (and the player never finds out), but he just figured it's probably his turn.
- Then in SpecOps 17 he deploys himself again, this time to go capture a White Gorilla (read: armed Wakandan insurgent) because he's heard they're endangered or something. Fortunately he realizes his error before he can start a captive breeding program...
- For bonus points, he names the insurgent he captures "Teddy," lampshading the fact that White Gorilla Tacticians look uncannily like Theodore Roosevelt.
- His Marvel XP dossier written by Maria Hill is pretty straightforward (as expected from her), detailing his origins, abilities, etc...then we have this gem about his "quirks":Maria Hill: While his psychosis typically manifest itself in him thinking he's a character in monthly-published comic book series, now it's evolved into him thinking he's a character in a video game — one on Facebook, no less. Our shrinks say they've never seen such a bizarrely specific series of delusions before. He keeps asking us to "friend him" and "gift him Shawarma," whatever the hell that means.
Spider-Man
Spider-Man brings his snarky one-liners and quips to the game.
- His pre-boss-battle conversation with Madame Masque in Mission 3.6:Madame Masque: You know what they say about scorned women and fury...Spider-Man: Scorned women and Fury? I'll have to ask him when we're done here.Madame Masque: For that alone, you deserve to die.
- Spec Ops 18:
- When Anti-Venom fled after you and Agent Venom defeated him:
Maria Hill: We need symbiotes to fight symbiotes effectively. Flash is one; Eddie's going to be another.
Spider-Man: Who gets the next crack at convincing him?
Maria Hill: Why don't you give it a try, Spider-Man?
Spider-Man: I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.- When Hybrid as a group boss is revealed and its origin is revealed as four other Symbiotes whom Scream supposedly killed:
Spider-Man: Maybe we can get Eddie to chase this one down and suck out all its powers.
Maria Hill: One more reason for you to try to talk some sense into him.
Spider-Man: Hoo boy. I get all the fun jobs.- At the start of Mission 2:
Tony Stark: Carnage, Hybrid, and Scream are raising hell around here.
Maria Hill: While we try to pin them down, we're also continuing our effort to refocus Anti-Venom. We need him.
Spider-Man: Yeah, yeah, I know. Spider-Man, go talk to Eddie. He'll listen to you. He won't try to kill you or anything. - Spec Ops 27:
- When Spider-man learns that there are more like him in other dimensions:
Ultimate Spider-Man: You're not the only Spider-Man. Every dimension has one.Spider-Man: Geez. Every dimension? I'm starting to not feel special.Ultimate Spider-Man: Oh, we're special all right. So special that this Karn, who's now running around this version of New York, has devoted his life to exterminating us.Spider-Man: That's not the kind of special that really makes me feel good.
Tony Stark
Being the main source of snark in the entire game, Mr. Stark has his moments.
- While deploying Beast in SpecOps 5:Tony Stark: We're neck-deep in Jotun here, and we need an extra scientific mind to take a calm look at how Iso-8 is working with Asgardian nature. Beast? Maybe the Phoenix experience has tuned up your sense of Iso-8's cosmo-mystical side.Beast: Cosmo-mystical? Did you come up with that yourself?Tony Stark: I see you are unfamiliar with Stark Industries' neologism division.
- He makes up more words in Mission 11.5:Phoenix: Constrictor is cracking the whip over the test subjects, Nick.Tony Stark: The Brotherhood has proclaimed today the first official day of Mutanthattan.Nick Fury: He didn't call it that, did he?Tony Stark: No, that one's all mine.
- By SpecOps 14, he declares that all the talk about Svartalfheim, Muspelheim, and Niflheim makes him want "Tonyheim." Thor replies that if there were a Tonyheim, Asgard would raze it.
- He deploys Phoenix in SpecOps 6, asking her to try and contact the Phoenix Force to help take out some mooks. Jean is frustrated that Tony is treating the idea with his usual flippancy (he calls the Phoenix Force "hot wings").Tony Stark: Jean, we need some serious cosmic elbow grease to get through that shield. Would you mind asking Hot Wings if we could borrow a cup of world-leveling primal flames?
Phoenix: I don't think you're giving this the serious treatment it deserves. Are you SURE you want me to try to contact the Phoenix Force again? After what happened at Utopia?- So she decides to scare him into mindfulness when she gets back:
Phoenix: No Pharaoh, but there was some kind of equipment behind the shield. It's ashes now.Tony Stark: Good, that probably bought us more time—Phoenix: Oh, and the Phoenix Force is coming to incinerate the planet. Did I mention that?Tony Stark: ... Don't do that. - The valentines that could be sent to friends on Valentine's Day Weekend:Tony Stark: My Arc Reactor glows for you. And you. And that cute blonde over there.
- He was in especially fine form throughout SpecOps 8.
- Another "somebody gets the better of Tony Stark" conversation, courtesy of Vision.Vision: This component is critical to the completion of my power-control systems array.Tony Stark: So you're saying we need it.Vision: I do not believe repetition will improve cognition at this point. Proceeding.
- Then later some banter with Quicksilver:Tony Stark: Like my high-school coaches always said. You can't teach speed.
Quicksilver: It is a fine advantage to have. But I'm a little more than speed.
Tony Stark: Sure, of course. But don't shy away from your gifts. Take me as an example. I'm handsome and rich and brilliant and funny. Why wouldn't I embrace that?
Quicksilver: You'll have a fine second career as a motivational speaker, Tony.
Tony Stark: See? That's another one of my gifts.
[Quicksilver gets him back later by working a casual mention of having Tony's arc-reactors into the conversation a second after someone else is asked to retrieve them]
Tony Stark: You take a little too much pleasure from that.
Quicksilver: Hey, like you said, why should I shy away from enjoying my gifts - And throwing Invisible Woman for a loop:Invisible Woman: Reed has his report. How is the Vision looking?
Tony Stark: Well, he's red and green, mostly.
Invisible Woman: ...
Tony Stark: I mean, he's fine. Looking good. - And finally after it's all said and done:Tony Stark: Well, you're free to do what you want now, Vision. Including changing that color scheme.
Vision: My exterior aesthetics are fully modifiable. Do you have suggestions, Tony Stark?
Tony Stark: I was thinking a more subtle palette... maybe a wig. How’d you like to be blonde?
- Another "somebody gets the better of Tony Stark" conversation, courtesy of Vision.
- Tony's dialogue with Crimson Dynamo in Spec Ops 9, Mission 1.
- Crimson Dynamo: Stark, ha! Extremis tech is incredible power! I have seen it!Iron Man: Boris. What did they offer you this time? Is the suit finally going to do what you tell it to?Crimson Dynamo: That was Ultron's fault!Iron Man: Sure, everything was Ultron's fault. That's what I said when my car wouldn't start the other day.
- Tony Snark is at the top of his game in this SO. However, Pepper Potts is just as good at this as he is. So of course they're gonna snipe at each other Like an Old Married Couple.Rescue: Yes! We did it!Iron Man: I never doubted you. Rhodey, did you doubt her?War Machine: Heck no. She's had plenty of practice.Iron Man: Yeah… wait, what?Rescue: Rhodey! ...I practice with your old suits when you're not around, Tony. Rhodey's been helping.Iron Man: What?!Rescue: I drive your cars, too.Iron Man: My cars!? Now that's over the line. Remind me to fire you when this is all over.And later...Iron Man: Whiplash and the Crimson Dynamo, merrily trashing the neighborhood. I suspect the involvement of vodka.Rescue: You're a hate criminal.Iron Man: Let me rephrase for delicate sensibilities: These two armored thugs of Russian extraction are endangering lives and property. We should respond firmly.Rescue: If you had your mask down, I'd punch you in it.Nick Fury: Maybe you can take out those frustrations on the bad guys. Recover their armor and return it to S.H.I.E.L.D.Iron Man: Or I could do it myself. In fact, why don't you take a breather and let's get more testing done on the Rescue armor.Rescue: You're cute when you're pretending you don't have any emotions.Iron Man: What do you mean, pretending? Fine, go ahead. Why don't you crash one of my cars while you're at it?Nick Fury: Agent, recover Whiplash's new armor. Pepper, keep the Agent alive while he's doing it. There. That ought to work.
- Despite being on the Anvilicious side, the "Sponsored Covert Task" from UL still gives Stark a chance to get some amusing snark in.Tony Stark: This really sets me off. It's one thing to take money out of my pocket. I mean, I have a lot of money. But to let that money get to Doom... Who owns this place? First, I'm going to buy it. Then I'm going to take it out of commission.
Nick Fury: The factory is shut down, Mr. Stark. Judging by the awful condition of the place, we're doing the workers there a favor. Unfortunately they don't know who owns the factory, or what the owner might have to do with Stark Industries.
Tony Stark: I'll find out. This is what I pay lawyers for. Also why I created Jarvis. Once I've got that information, it'll be time to have a conversation with the factory's owner and find out who set him up to make this stuff.
Nick Fury: Or we could ask Dr. Doom.
Tony Stark: Was that a joke, Fury? Not your forte.
Tony Stark: Agreed. If we take piracy seriously, we can prevent stolen tech from falling into the wrong hands. It may not involve punching people in capes, but it's just as important for keeping the world safe. - In Season 2, everyone either gets in a dig at Tony's expense, tells him to piss off, or both. Fury even calls him a nerd.
- The dialogue that ensues when Selene shows up in Mission 2-1-5.Tony Stark: Selene, Selene, the Club's Black Queen.Nick Fury: I will shoot the first person who speaks in iambic pentameter.
- Also in Mission 2-7-1, before mini-boss battle against Bullseye:
Nick Fury: Selene appears to have gotten Bullseye under some kind of...
Tony Stark: Say it, Nick. Go ahead.
Nick Fury: ...spell.
Tony Stark: See? That wasn't so hard. It's just magic. note - In Squirrel Girl's Covert Task, Stark still has hesitations regarding her joining with SHIELD. Fury promptly chastises Tony how Squirrel Girl single-handedly defeated Doctor Doom, much to Tony's dismay.Nick Fury: We have an emergency, Agent. Squirrel Girl has gone missing.
Tony Stark: ... that's an emergency? Seriously?
Nick Fury: Stark, the first time you met Squirrel Girl, she rescued you from Dr. Doom. She fought him by herself, and won.
Tony Stark: You know, I'd managed to convince myself that was a bad dream.- Almost all dialogues in that Covert Task are funny, hilarious, ridiculous, or all of them combined, really. See here
by yourself for the complete dialogues. - When Squirrel Girl makes a return in Season 2, Tony's still a little bemused:
Tony Stark: Ay yi yi, that's a lot of symbiote goo. How many bodies? Four?Squirrel Girl: Hi, Mr. Stark!!!Tony Stark: ...hi, Doreen. - Almost all dialogues in that Covert Task are funny, hilarious, ridiculous, or all of them combined, really. See here
- By Spec Ops 13, on the other hand, the writers must have decided to throw him a bone.Maria Hill: The fewer people who know [about Thane], the less of a chance the Black Order has of finding out before we can take them out.
Tony Stark: If we can take them out.
Nick Fury: No. When. There is no if. Get your billionaire-playboy swagger back, Stark. We need it.
Tony: Aye aye, sir. Swaggering, sir. - Spec Ops 21:
- Mission 1:
- Before you battle Stegron, Tony said this to Ka-Zar:
"I have something to confess. I'm a little disappointed you didn't yodel. But Zabu does a mean meow."- Mission 3
- After you finished Groot's Deploy:
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket Raccoon: He means the plants appear to be a mutation, but not from an Origin Bomb. They're not hostile. But he did find an Iso-8 cache the Lizard left behind.
Tony Stark: Good work. I mean, I am Groot. Does that work both ways? - Mission 1:
- Spec Ops 8: Tony has reprogrammed Omega Sentinel so she will side with the Alliance and becomes more human than robotic. Nick Fury initially didn't quite agree and he is still worried that Omega Sentinel might turn on them anytime due to her being partly Sentinel. After she proves her loyalty, Nick is more relieved but still tell Tony not to reprogramming villain anymore because he's not very comfortable with it. Then this is Tony's answer:Tony Stark: Guess I'll tell Reed to stop working on M.O.D.O.K. in his off-hours, then.
Nick Fury: The sad thing is I can't even tell if you're kidding.
Other
- Deploy missions may send the character in various missions via the flavor text: be it a recon, espionage, or diplomatic situation. While there are mandatory hero deploys, there's the mere fact with optional deploys that you can send the Punisher or Deadpool to "convince" Jonah Jameson not to publish Fury and Hill's abduction, or having Magneto or Juggernaut accompany Maria in a peace conference is a great source of laughs.
- Thor's exchange with Loki in Mission 1-5:Loki: Dearest brother! Perfect timing! I was just thinking about you.
Thor: Thinking about the pain you will feel when Mjolnir smashes your lying mouth?
Loki: Hah! Humor is not your strength, favored of Odin. Repeating what someone says with a question? Barely worthy of a chuckle! - Hydro-Man's introduction in Mission 3-2:Tony Stark: Hydro-Man. Haven't seen him around lately. Last I knew about him, he was putting the moves on Sandman's girlfriend.Nick Fury: Put the two of them together, all we'd have to do is watch.
- Also Thing's conversation with Hydro-Man:
The Thing: I gotta hypothetical question. If I drank you, what would happen?Hydro-Man: I would tear you rock from orange rock, from the inside out. Which I intend to do anyway.The Thing: Okay. Just curious. - Pretty much everything about Hercules, who is Fun Personified.
- Deploying him in SpecOps 4 results in this dialogue:Tony Stark: Hercules, we have a job for you.Hercules: Indeed! What labour might this be? Must needs I slay a few thousand spawn of Hades? Seduce some queen of the fiery realms? Truly, there is no task too great for the mighty—Tony Stark: We need you to hold up a building.Hercules: ...That is all?! Pffft. Out of the way, Man of Iron.
- Deploying him in SpecOps 4 results in this dialogue:
- Valkyrie's Comically Serious reactions to the blue-collar, greedy, very much not-noble Wrecking Crew in SpecOps 5 are an endless source of entertainment.Valkyrie: [to the Wrecker] A crowbar? Do I face a carpenter in battle?
Valkyrie: We cross sword and crowbar once more. Unless you choose to yield.
Valkyrie: Do you too take part in Loki's Wild Hunt? And when it is finished, will your soul be forfeit?
Piledriver: It's not about the soul, kiddo. It's all about the cash. And Loki pays well. Everything's for sale. Just depends on the bargain.
Valkyrie: Will you bargain with the blade of a sword?
Piledriver: Long as I can trade you a punch in the face. Square deal? - She gets another good moment in SpecOps 14, when sent to investigate a boat full of Jotun trying to cross the North Sea. Upon her return, she says nothing more than "Jotun, it seems, are not so good at swimming."
- Hank Pym is very funny, in a Jerkass kind of way.Hank: [after a boss battle] Please remove M.O.D.O.K.'s giant head from this facility.Tony: A little thanks, perhaps?Hank: Thank you for removing M.O.D.O.K.'s giant head from this facility.
- Also:
Hank: I've almost got the Ultron intelligence corralled, Fury.Nick Fury: Good news. What about Whiplash?Hank: He's corralled too. Maybe you can get him out of the way so I can get back to work.Maria Hill: Dr. Pym, we're not getting a strong sense of teamwork from you.Hank: Pardon me if my focus on staving off threats to world cybersecurity hurts your feelings - This April Fool's gag pulled by Playdom. Highlights include:
- The introduction of Galactus and Aunt May (as the Herald 'Golden Oldie') as playable characters.
- The looks of utter disbelief on the other Heralds' faces as Aunt May flies forward happily.
- Galactus appearing as a giant boot on-screen, blocking out the Agent, with his own unique 'Omniclass' (represented by a half-eaten planet), and infinite health and stamina.
- The revamped Daily Roulette, especially the Hulk's Ripped Up Pants, Infinity Gauntlet and Forbush Man's Helmet items.
- Bullseye's intro in Mission 2.3 is a prime example of Black Comedy:Bullseye: The blind guy is here? I love killing the blind guy!Daredevil: The blind guy notes that he is still alive.Bullseye: Well, let's do something about that!
- Some Snark-to-Snark Combat in SpecOps 4.3:Iron Man: Strange, turns out you didn't do us any favors by dispelling Dormammu's gang. Know why? Because Mephisto himself has picked up Satana and Baron Mordo.Ghost Rider: You're like a demonic employment agency. Anyone who fights you gets a job with some lesser lord of Hell.Dr. Strange: Joke if you must, O man named Johnny Blaze with a flaming skull head.Ghost Rider: You making fun of—?Iron Man: Pointing out irony. Not the same as making fun. But Strange, snark is my department. From you, we need a briefing.Dr. Strange: There are demons on the doorstep. Mephisto stirs. The threat of Dormammu lingers. Anything else?Iron Man: Well, if you put it like that, yeah. Fix things. Make it all go away.
- This exchange from Mission 12.1. You can practically hear Sif's irritation:Intro Text: SHIELD, despite employing the best analysts in the world, has no idea what kids these days think is "cool". We've been monitoring a spread of strange new emoticons using Norse runes. We'd like Sif to take a look to make sure it isn't more of Loki's mischief.
Hill: We're going to need Sif to check out what these kids are texting each other.
Sif: The battle is here. I am a warrior, not a wetnurse.
Hill: Understood, Sif. But we need to make sure that Loki isn't manipulating the children of New York.
[later]
Sif: They use our noble runes to create crude drawings of happy cats, not hostile spells.
Hill: Kids these days. Good to have you back. - Mission 3 in SO 9. Pepper Potts has a Berserk Button, it seems:Whiplash: Boris, look. You see what I see?Crimson Dynamo: I see Stark sending secretary out to fight.Rescue: Secretary? SECRETARY?Crimson Dynamo:Uh oh, we made secretary mad. Don't hurt us, secretary.One Curb-Stomp Battle later...Rescue: Secretary? Get up, both of you, so the rest of the team can hit you some more.
- This deploy in SpecOps 5 has to be seen to be believed:Screen Dialogue: Someone's reporting A Troll in Central Park. Run down the report and do what's needed.Maria Hill: A troll?Tony Stark: Right in Strawberry Fields. At least that's what we're hearing. Chances are it's another illusion, but we'd better check it out.later...Maria Hill: Good thing I didn't bet. It was an illusion.Tony Stark: And we wasted time chasing it. Exactly what Loki wants.Thor: Not a waste at all. It was Loki in another form. Did you not see him?Tony Stark: Okay, I take it back. Loki running around disguised as a troll. Good to know.
- This dialogue after clearing Mission 2-1-2Professor X: Emma and I will continue searching for a way to circumvent Sebastian's defenses.Magneto: Not just you, Charles. Though it is typical for you to speak for all mutants.Tony Stark: Ah, I love good healthy bickering. Good to see you all working together.
- After a long period of relative silence, Union Jack gets to show off his British dry wit.Tony Stark: Anyone want a short vacation in Svartalfheim? Endless darkness, misery, mortal threats at every turn?Union Jack: I'm in. Sounds like Manchester.
- Upon his return, he comments that Svartalfheim was nothing at all like Manchester (not enough football nutters).
- This exchange, when you finally recruit Dr. Doom.Mr. Fantastic: I object to this. In the strongest possible terms.Dr. Doom: As always, Richards, your objections are irrelevant.
- On that note, there's just something comical about sending Dr. Doom off on a Deploy or a Flight Deck mission.
- New Valentine Cards for this year. Notorious example of Crosses the Line Twice: "Be my symbiote."
- In Daimon Hellstrom's SpecOp in San Francisco, there's something bizarre that Baron Mordo's boss marker is always targeted on the Transamerica Pyramid. Mordo seems to have a grudge against Dr. Strange and financial advisors.
- The special Heroic Battle in Season 1 involving the Warriors Three versus Thor, Sif and Heimdall, and in Wave 2, Loki, Executioner and Amora. is, from start to finish, full of hilarity. From a rant-inducing slight that set off the three gods against the Warriors Three, to Skurge having to attack in spite of wanting to finish the feast, then Loki hightailing it back to the Helicarrier, and last but not least, Volstagg blabbing about Fandral once having shaved Hogun's beard off, earning the latter's rage.
- In his XP Dossier, Hercules compares the Avengers to the Greek Pantheon: He compares Hulk to Ares since they're both fierce warriors, Iron Man to Hephaestus, since they're both inventors and weapons designers, Captain America to Apollo as they're both "beacons of light and hope", and Thor...to Aphrodite, since they both have long blonde hair. And to end his file, this gem from Maria Hill:Maria Hill: If he doesn't stop looking at my butt I'm filing a personal complaint with S.H.I.E.L.D. Human Resources. God or no god. I'm serious.
- Spec Ops 2 Mission 1:Mockingbird: [referring her time being mind-controlled in Spec Ops 1] After that, I don't remember much - just that I was working for the "White Queen".
Nick Fury: Emma Frost. She's one of the good guys. Why would she attack S.H.I.E.L.D.?
Emma Frost: I didn't.
Nick Fury: Son of a... who let you in here?
Emma Frost: Your security team are gentlemen, Fury. They were only too happy to open any door I wanted. - Season 2 Chapter 1 Mission 2: Fury's snarky teasing to Psylocke after Mystique is defeated. Probably because he thinks Psylocke is being The Comically Serious.Psylocke: That's one Hellfire safe house made unsafe for the Club. Orders, Director Fury?
Nick Fury: Hear that, team? She finishes a mission, she asks for orders. I could get used to that. - Remember that Phil Coulson's fanboying on Captain America's in The Avengers movie? This time, in Mission 2-4-2, he also does this to Red Hulk, of all people.Phil Coulson: General Ross, I haven't had a chance to tell you this, but it's a real pleasure having you on the team.
Red Hulk: We'll see how long that feeling lasts, Sparky.
Tony Stark: Yeah, Sparky. Just ask him for an autograph already, why don't you.- Tony's response just makes this conversation more hilarious, when you think that in the Marvel Cinematic Universe Tony himself is a fanboy of The Hulk. Considering the bad blood between these two Hulks, it's very likely that Tony feels uncomfortable about Coulson's fanboying on Red Hulk this time.
- Mission 2-3-5: There's something inexplicably funny when a Sentinel, of all things, becomes the one who mocks Fantomex's Fauxreigner:Fantomex: Robot, you will not threaten these innocents. Or, if you must threaten them, I will at least see to it that those threats are not carried out.
M-Series Tau MK III: Your French accent is not genuine. Analysis of other phonemic patterns confirms this. No discernible combat purpose is served by linguistic eccentricity.
Fantomex: Ah, but now you are analyzing my speech patterns rather than my combat techniques. Already I have won. - The blurb advertising Molly is pretty hilarious. Halfway through it, she can be seen throwing a tantrum.
- While being a bit bleak in tone with the whole "end of the world" thing and Thor mysteriously disappearing, Spec Ops 24 manages to sneak quite a few laughs:
- Loki doesn't miss a chance to make fun of Enchantress' crush on Thor.
Loki: Surtur has found his way into our world. A little bit of Muspelheim in the Savage Land.Enchantress: If your brother was here...Loki: He's not. Pining for his mighty biceps won't solve our problem.- Also, some of the pre-battle dialogue between Executioner and the newly-reformed Enchantress:
Executioner: Betrayer! Liar! You are a cat who tortures my heart like a bird with a broken wing!Enchantress: I never imagined you capable of such poetry, Skurge.- Before fighting Hela, Loki has this exchange with Tony Stark:
Loki: ...perhaps this battle should fall to me. After all, Hela is...in a way she is my daughter.
Tony Stark: You just have all kinds of screwed-up family relationships, don't you?
Loki: I will refrain from commenting on the irony of you passing such a judgement. - Using Chase Stein's X-Ray Goggles move on a female opponent causes Chase to gain the (cosmetic) buff "Nice."Flavor Text: Chase Stein likes what he sees.
- Even though Heroic Battles in a SpecOps are a serious annoyance (since resource management and the Survival bonus score are critical), there's something priceless about the encounter between Molly Hayes and the Punisher. Especially the ending, where he drops all pretense of playing nice and tries to run her over with the Battle Van. Her response? "Let's Play Catch!"
- Hank Pym created a series of Life Model Decoys of the Avengers... and programmed them with positive reinforcement routines, so they sing his praises all while trying to kill you.
- The cake, however, has to go to the fake Taskmaster how claim that he's going to murder the Wasp to have Pym all for himself. Scott Lang reacts as well as you would expect.
- Any Snark-to-Snark Combat between Tony Stark and Hank Pym, two of the biggest Deadpan Snarker, really:Tony Stark: Pym particles. I wish I had the ego to name a particle after myself.
Hank Pym: How about you discover one first?Hank Pym: I'm working through the damaged areas. I'll let you know if anything needs your attention.
Tony Stark: Good old Pym. Team player to the end. - As always, anytime the Ant-Man alias is discussed:Tony Stark: Who's the guy who stole the Ant-Man suit? And are we really calling him Ant-Man?
Maria Hill: You have a better idea?- In boss battle against Whiplash:
Whiplash: You okay with being called Ant-Man?
Ant-Man: Well, until I can think of something better, sure. - Season 2, Chapter 9, Mission 4 — Arcade makes an entirely unwelcome reappearance and 'invites' the Warriors Three to square off against three of the Wrecking Crew. When Fandral retorts that they're not going to prance like ponies for anyone's amusement, Arcade adds a random "Carrots" buff and "Sticks" debuff to the fight. Seeing various characters getting smacked with damage for being a "Bad Pony!" is strangely hilarious.
- Kate Bishop's bio section of her profile includes a shameless self promotion to her introductory run on Hawkeye. With the bio even including, "Go read it. It's really good!"
- Quake is an epic Deadpan Snarker whenever she gets dialogue:Hydra Power Armor: Mutants die!Quake: Who programmed that? Everybody dies. That's a lousy slogan. Is it a command? An observation? Really unclear.Hydra Power Armor: Mutants die!Quake: Oookay then, some people can't take editing.
