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Funny / Mark Does Stuff

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  • The Tolkien reviews where Mark plays off how Tolkien originally wrote The Hobbit as a bedtime story for his kids. Their portrayal of Christopher Tolkien (ie, the guy we have to thank for The Silmarillion and The Children of Húrin being published) as a slightly bratty and overly curious kid is hysterical.
  • The article on the final chapter of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, about how all the problems in it could be solved if the Fellowship included a Sassy Gay Friend, demonstrated with numerous pictures of themself making various facial expressions, and also wearing a tuxedo t-shirt.
  • From the Buffy the Vampire Slayer reviews: Mark has a habit for unknowingly anticipating the future, so when they made a few comments about how it would be so cute if Buffy and Faith became girlfriends or mentioned in early season 4 that they really latch onto any sign of a gay character in a work, there was some sniggering. But the high point was definitely in the review for Something Blue, literally one episode from Tara's introduction, when they go off on this tangent about how much they identify with Willow's heartbreak:
    ...I refuse to be judged for projecting my big ol’ gay life all over you Willow. I don’t even care that you’re straight, you are my big ol’ gay best friend and this is all I want from you and I would buy you the best tub of ice cream so we could sit and talk about how we don’t give a shit about sugar content and how all boys are silly and then we would sob each other to sleep, and this is clearly the greatest sentence I have ever composed in the history of Mark Watches, and if you disagree with this, then you are oppressing the wonderful and beautiful friendship that I have with Willow, and you don’t want to be a goddamn bigot, do you? No? You better not.
    • The levels of unpreparedness are off the charts!!
    • Just as funny is their off-the-cuff tumblr end-of-Buffy prediction a month and a half before he ended the show:
      .."I think the final scene will be Buffy, Dawn, and Giles standing on a cliff looking over a destroyed Sunnydale and smiling.
      because i like destruction
      also the earth better open up and eat something because i have been BEGGING for this to happen in the canon of ANYTHING for like three years"
  • Starting in 2012, they started making videos of them reading horrible books and fanfic for every thousand dollars the fans raised for their favorite charity. First up is Atlas Shrugged, with highlights including them automatically associating the word "bum" with "butt," and pausing during the sex scene to ask if this is really how straight people have sex, "because stop it now."
  • Seanan McGuire posting a photo of herself holding a copy of Feed and a picture of a nun (thanks to "hahaha" becoming "ununun" in rot13) with a condescending trollface.
  • Mark referring to backstabbing in Dragon Age as "buttstabbing".
  • Mark's reaction to the end of the first Wham Episode of Puella Magi Madoka Magica.
    "I don't know how to deal with that... {stops video} I am upset... What did I just watch? I'm gonna go moooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrn!"
  • While reading Countdown, they learn a character is in prison, says "He's fucking in prison!", then realizes how that sounded.
  • Mark falling off his chair in shock and bouncing back up again in responce to a Wham moment in Dollhouse episode "the public eye".
  • Spilling water on themself in their surprise while reading chapter eight of Wild Magic.
  • A poster compares Emperor Ozorne to Tony Soprano for being a horrible person who nonetheless loves animals. Tamora Pierce replies "Woke up this mornin, got myself an empire."
  • Mark's video of reading Fifty Shades of Grey has a few absolutely amazing moments where the awkwardness of the writing makes them cover their face in embarrassment, followed by them falling out of their chair.
  • Their reaction to Caligula's performance as Dawn in I, Claudius. Throughout the whole thing, you can see them screaming in their head "What in god's name am I looking at?"
  • Protector of the Small opens up with a character called Wyldon explaining all the reasons women can't be warriors. Mark goes through each one, explaining just how wrong it is, before finally coming up to this reply for why she wouldn't let her other warriors "killed on some dark night".
    Right, so the very men you claim are better than women and stronger and the best material for knights die and you blame it on the woman? WHY ARE THEY BEING KILLED ANYWAY IF THEY’RE SO GREAT? What possible fucking scenario are you thinking about? That “some dark night,” someone will surprise Kel with a box of chocolates and she’ll just sit down and cry about her feelings while all her companions are slaughtered because she can’t use her arms and shoulders?
  • It took Mark three episodes to realise that Mandy had disappeared from The West Wing.
  • The video for the first episode of Pushing Daisies has them completely freaking out every 30 seconds or so.
    • The story of how they started watching the series. For years it was on their list of things he wouldn't watch, as they knew too much about it. Then one of his friends asked exactly what he knew, and it turned out they were under the impression it was a show about a circus that traveled to parallel universes in a hot air balloon, which as far as anyone can tell is a show that has never actually existed (though some of the fans now want to see it).
  • Mark's horrified realizations as they process the implications of the time travel in Samurai Jack. Highlights include their priceless expression when Jack struggles to grasp the concept of "other worlds across the stars" and:
    Mark: Oh my god, he doesn't know what bullets are.
  • The Running Gag of calling the Philosopher's Stone the Sorcerer's Stone in Fullmetal Alchemist.
  • Watch the video for episode 16 of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and you get to see they clap their hands over his mouth simultaneously with Maria Ross, and not even notice.
    • Then in episode 29 they do a "thinker" pose at the same time as Ed.
    • In episode 31 when they see that Scar is planning to go north they comment, "Oh, that's how there's ice stuff." They then immediately realize how stupid that sounded and facepalms.
    • In episode 40 they tempt the preparedness gods by saying they think they know what will happen next, and is prepared for once. Then Hohenheim shoves his hand into Izumi's gut and they shout "I lied! I'm not, I'm not!"
    • Their description of Ed's taste in cars: "It looked like a Hot Wheel threw up."
    • They ship Alex/Sig Curtis. They sparkled at each other.
  • In chapter 14 of Squire they have to deal in quick succession with Raoul in a loincloth and unsheathed sword, Buri in his bed, and Joren's death.
  • Their complete brain shutdown at just the first sentence of The Android's Dream.
  • Being introduced to the idea of chocolate pasta during chapter 3 of Untold. They react like this has altered their entire view of the world.
  • From chapter 3 of Trickster's Choice, one word: Cockpot.
  • Their reaction to the Mood Whiplash opening credits in "Twenty Five".
  • The epic war with the desk light while watching "Drinking the Kool-Aid."
  • While watching Cress Williams' first appearance on Veronica Mars, Mark struggles to remember where he's seen him before...while wearing a Dillon Panthers shirt.
  • The Heroic BSoD while reading about Sarai running away in Trickster's Queen.
    • And in the comments, Tamora's response was to say 'Mark, my dear, oh, you just say the prettiest things!"
  • The Ford of Whispering Snapes from Chapter 13 of Dealing with Dragons.
  • Their reaction to Sam's death in season 2 of Supernatural: "He's on other boxes!"
    • Having to deal with a case of Right Through the Wall while watching "It's a Terrible Life."
    • Their written reaction to one of the more gruesome scenes from "My Bloody Valentine".
    • In "Blade Runners", they get annoyed at the gong sound that shows up every time an Asian woman is ogled, so they suggest that the show play the sound of hipsters squeeing whenever a white woman is ogled.
  • Around Discworld:
    • Speculating that Terry Pratchett created Discworld just because he came up with the "Big Bang" pun and wanted to put it somewhere.
    • Also, when they realize the full implications of the series' name;
      Mark: It's literally a flat disc, oh my god.
    • Them struggling to comprehend the setup of Great A'Tuin, the four elephants, and the Disc, finally just saying they need to see a picture.
    • Their epic three-minute-long freak out over the "horse d'oeuvres" pun in The Light Fantastic.
    • When they realize that the plot of Equal Rites is about the world's first female wizard.
      Mark: It's a pun. THE TITLE IS A PUN!
    • He continually brings this fact up for the next five videos.
    • His complete inability to read the name of the town Bad Ass without giggling.
    • About thirty pages into Wyrd Sisters, Mark says, with dead seriousness, "I think there may be a Shakespeare reference in here somewhere", not having yet realized that the novel, right down to the very title, is a Whole-Plot Reference to Macbeth and Hamlet.
    • Their astonished laughter when he realizes how much of a Dirty Old Woman Nanny Ogg is, to the point where it takes a minute or two for them to be able to continue reading.
      Mark: ...oh my god. OH MY GOD. I just looked about my room and was like "someone look at me 'cause I just figured it out." ...does that mean Nanny is a size queen?
    • "True story: one of the first times I got drunk, I made out with a doorknob. You're welcome."
    • "I don't think this book is going to have a time jump to when Tomjon is old enough to be king." Well, they're not wrong. Granny moves the entire country fifteen years into the future so Tomjon will be old enough to be king.
    • "So many books! But the next book is... Pyramids which is about....pyramids? I don't know." (They're right.)
    • The delayed reaction to the "mummy" pun in Part 2 of Pyramids.
    • The video for Part 7 of Pyramids. As they put it on Twitter, "I just recorded a Pyramids video where I 1. Googled a thousand things, including the worst twin names, 2. Mispronounced "pyramids" as "periods" and it is the worst slip-up in Mark Does Stuff history when you hear the whole sentence, 3. Told a story about my serial killer cat I used to have, 4. Had to awkwardly pause while someone knocked on my door and then SLID SOMETHING CREEPILY UNDERNEATH IT. I hope this is entertaining." To which someone replied, "It's the cat."
    • They share a story of a friend who has the worst sense of direction they've ever seen, and had to call them for help getting out of a parking lot.
    • Their utter joy at the pathetic, dog-like swamp dragons, or as Mark calls them, "DRAGON PUPPIES!"
    • Mark finally comes to The Reveal in Guards! Guards!...and still manages to come to the wrong conclusion. Namely that 1) Vetinari was behind the dragon plot the whole time and 2) Lupine Wonse was a well-meaning underling. Many face-palms were had that day.
      • They had a similar problem with the fact that two corpses were identified as Beano the Clown's body in Men at Arms.
    • "Shower of ass" from Part 1 of Moving Pictures.
    • Declaring Ridcully to be the Discworld's Ron Swanson.
    • After a ton of Gone with the Wind references, they say without a trace of irony "All the Casablanca references are hilarious."
    • After an unfortunate technology fail erased their original readings of a few chapters of "Wyrd Sisters", they decided to read them again, but at various con panels, and the audience reactions 100% make up for it. For example, their sheer glee at having people being able to tell thm how a word is pronounced real time, and the result when they need help pronouncing the onomatopoeia 'ttccch'.
    Mark: Y'all sound like a plague of locusts, it's great.
    • During the first scene of Lords and Ladies, after passing plenty of hints to the main character's identity, including her name: "I feel like Granny Weatherwax would appreciate this. Who is this young girl?"
    • Much like the mistake they made in Guards! Guards!, they take a hell of a long time to figure out who the titular characters of Lords and Ladies are, and why Granny and Nanny are so sure that anyone would falsely believe they're heroes rather than villains upon hearing their name. This despite several explicit mentions of elves in the same breath, which incidentally also completely proves the witches' point.
    • On the racist nobles in Men at Arms: "Did Donald Trump write this?"
      • Pulling their blanket over their head in their shame of taking so long to figure out what the Gonne was.
    • Mispronouncing the word "teeth" as "teets" in Soul Music. They spend a good couple minutes agonizing over how unfortunate it was.
    • In Maskerade they finally try to predict what a pun from the footnotes is going to be, except this particular footnote is where Pratchett finally reversed the joke and it's all about how there isn't any wordplay going on.
    • In Feet of Clay a joke about tax evasion goes right over their head, leading them to zoom in on the shopkeeper being upset about now having to pay his taxes as some incredibly important clue to what's going on.
    • Hogfather gives thm a misconception that some fans say beats the above bit on Vetinari, where they think the random guy Teatime hijacks and then kills is the Hogfather. One comment: "How in the name of the Soul Cake Duck did he get that idea?"
      • The entirety of their reading Death as a mall Hogfather. Their sheer joy at the "beautiful chaos" makes the whole thing even funnier.
      • In Part 10 they finally lose the battle since the start of the book to not pronounce "Hogswatch" as "Hogwarts."
      • They again have a huge freak out over a pun with "ground coffee," which they end up declaring even better than "horse d'oeuvres."
      • After struggling a bit to pin him down, Mark finally finds the perfect analogy for Teatime: he's the retail customer from hell given a license to kill.
    • In Jingo, Leonard of Quirm delivers a Wham Line so casually that both the Partician and Mark completely miss the implications for a minute. The shock on Mark's face when they reread and register the line is palpable.
    • During a convention, they met a fan who was cosplaying as a clacks tower. She was understandably mortified to realize partway through their conversation that she was dressed as a spoiler right in front of them.
    • The epic slow burn Oh, Crap! when the wizards get stranded in the past in The Last Continent.
      • Their constant frustration at how little they know about the Australian gay scene, and thus how offensive or not their portrayal is.
    • They somehow completely fail to get Granny's situation at the start of "Carpe Jugulum." "But where does the cow come in?"
    • In Thief of Time they fall right into the trap Pratchett deliberately set up of having two equally likely candidates for the son of Time, constantly second-guessing themself on which one it is. Their mind is then completely blown by the actual twist.
      • Made even funnier because they have a twin brother.
  • The Epic Fail of trying to figure out the narrator of "Not the End."
  • Tamora Pierce making a Suspiciously Specific Denial when Mark reads a parallel into Terrier that she hadn't intended.
  • John Scalzi's inscription in Mark's copy of The Android's Dream, after finding out Mark hadn't actually read it yet.
  • In Part 14 of Terrier, Mark wrecks a very serious scene by saying "I slapped her house."
  • In Part 9 of Bloodhound, Mark tells a misogynistic character that "It's 2014, already." then remembers that the book is set in (kind of) The Dark Ages.
  • After being surprised at how good-looking William Shatner was in his prime, the reaction whenever Kirk gets mad is "I'll pretty you to death!"
    Kirk: Lang, over there, look for survivors.
    Mark: You're dead.
    Kirk: Kelowitz, that way.
    Mark: You're dead too.
    Kirk: O'Hurlihy, stick with me.
    Mark: But you're dead.
    • In "Tomorrow Is Yesterday" they want Kirk and Sulu interrupted every five minutes, forcing Spock to beam the person aboard, until there's forty or so people crammed into the transporter room. "Hire me to write TV shows. This is what you'll get."
    • While watching "Space Seed," they find the name Khan familiar but can't place it. They've figured it out by the next video, and reveal that a DVD of The Wrath of Khan is sitting directly across from they as they watch the episodes.
    • Their declaring "The City on the Edge of Forever" to be "very Harlan Ellison" upon seeing his credit, which is absolutely hilarious if you know anything about Ellison's own opinion on it.
    • While watching "Catspaw" they manage to inadvertently make a gay joke and a bestiality joke, followed by marvelous Oh, Crap! reactions.
    • Their reaction to the Logic Bomb from "I, Mudd." It's like their brain is getting melted right along with the androids'.
    • The multiple Twilight jokes while watching "Obsession."
    • The entire video for "The Trouble with Tribbles," making an already hilarious episode even better.
    • The written review for "A Private Little War" is quite somber. So they end it with a picture of Mugatu.
    • Their stunned disbelief at the big twist of "The Omega Glory," ending with them saying through a huge grin "That was fucking garbage!"
    • After their adoration of "The Trouble with Tribbles," two fans separately sent them Tribble toys. They were quite amused by their one initial Tribble managing to reproduce just like in the show.
    • Declaring "The Enterprise Incident" better than "Spock's Brain" after literally one second.
    • Constantly taking the piss out of "The Paradise Syndrome." "Oh my dear white lady in brownface makeup, we're fridging you because we can't deal with the implications of what just happened."
    • Until the box from "Is There No Truth In Beauty?" opens, they're under the impression that Kollos is the box, and won't let it go.
    • In "Plato's Stepchildren": "Is this whole episode a vehicle for Captain Kirk to roll around on the ground?"
    • During the Kirk vs. Kirk fight in "Whom Gods Destroy," they quickly pick up that it's just Shatner and a stuntman, and tells Spock to shoot the one who's clearly not Kirk.
    • The entire video for Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, where they spend the whole time reveling in what they eventually name "The Wacky Capers of the Enterprise Crew."
  • All their videos for the goofy filler episodes of Revolutionary Girl Utena. By the last one they're understandably asking, "Am I still on planet Earth?"
  • On his Twitter, they mistakenly said they would be reading Pyramids after finishing Sourcery. The result was numerous Discworld fans having an existential crisis and wondering if they just imagined another book between those two.
  • All of their video on the Supernatural episode "The French Mistake," especially the line "Nobody says penultimate," given that Mark points this out every time.
  • Their discovery that Briar from Circle of Magic also has X tattoos on his hands.
    • The whole video, really. They were under the impression that Sandry's Book was only going to cover Sandry, so they're incredibly confused when four separate characters get a viewpoint. And since the first chapter details not one, but four Dark and Troubled Pasts, they quickly realize "This book is going to break me."
    • "Frostporn" from Chapter 3 of Tris' Book.
    • In their prediction for Daja's Book, they want everyone to have a backstory. Frostpine's comes with a note saying "Bonus points if he marries me!"
    • Their epic minute-long freak-out during Street Magic when they realize, chapters before Briar does, what the "good fertilizer" actually is.
    • One of their predictions for Cold Fire was that Daja would get a crush on a guy, which was funny on two levels. First, the main plot of the book being based around an older guy having a super inappropriate attraction to Daja, and Daja actually being a lesbian.
    • Their expression of dawning horror when they realize that Bennat, far from being a mentor figure, is actually an creepy arsonist.
    • Upon Daja noticing Rizu as "the most beautiful woman of the Empress' court," they're taken aback for a moment, then, likely thinking of how they were blindsided by Korrasami, whines "I don't want to react to a thing yet!"
      • And when Daja wonders if she's coming down with something: "Yes you are. It's called the gay."
  • For the first few minutes of The Terminator, they can't stop talking about how weird it was to have Arnold Schwarzenegger as their governor.
    • In the second film, they completely fell for the misdirection that Arnold was playing the villain again, resulting in tons of great comments in the first half hour. "No, he's here to help you!"
    • They didn't catch on that Kyle is John's father until the end of the film, resulting in a disgusted "You're making out with your best friend's mom!"
  • While reading all of Fifty Shades of Grey, they start by getting overly wrapped up in the path of Anastasia's trip to Seattle, clearly desperate to delay what's coming as long as possible.
    • "Does he collect sex people?"
    • "It sucked. He sucked. I didn't suck."
    • "Is he the Tenth Doctor? What is happening?"
    • "You can't clean your teeth with a dick."
    • The Chapstick blowjob.
    • Their impromptu Google search for "Fifty Shades of Grey Smurfs."
  • Around December, folks can commission Mark to write holiday cards where they get to write things about a theme of the commissioner's choosing, which usually ends up being short fanfic. Crossover fanfic. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if the cast of Brooklyn Nine-Nine had to deal with the Wizarding World? Or what Welcome to Night Vale candidate the folks from The West Wing would support? No? Well, they've written it anyway, and they're hilarious.
  • The banner for Leverage, with an animated sparkly heart around Hardison's face. Even better, the artist had also made a version without the heart, but Mark begged her to use the "ridiculous" one.
    • The video for "The Office Job," where you can actually see the gears spin in their head as they struggle to comprehend the concept of the show doing a riff on The Office.
  • On the saucer separation from the pilot of Star Trek: The Next Generation: "Goodbye, pizza disc. Your breadstick brethren shall miss you."
    • Upon seeing Diane Duane's credit for "Where No One Has Gone Before," they compliment her ability to write a completely infuriating Jerkass like Kosinsky, then quickly realizes how that might have sounded.
    • In "Where Silence Has Lease," they notes that they'd either be the worst or best starship captain ever, always hitting on their officers while running from the first sign of danger.
    • Immediately upon finishing "Shades of Grey," they declared on Twitter that it was the worst TNG episode that could ever exist, and said the video would be mostly just them playing games on his iphone, and some guitar.
      • The video also features an epic amount of eye rolling during the montage of Riker's romantic conquests, after which they conclude "This episode sucks. A lot."
      • And finally, their actual review of the episode is incredibly terse with them refusing to spend any real effort thinking about a throwaway Clip Show. It's the closest they've come to their threat to one day write a review that's just the word "No."
    • Despite the excitement of Dr. Crusher's return, they spend the entirety of "Evolution" struggling not to fall asleep. Keep in mind this is someone who was enthralled by every second of The Motion Picture.
    • Their predictions for Season 3 include "Picard is kidnapped at some point," "We’ll get another episode centering on the Borg," and "We will get our first The Next Generation cliffhanger."
    • Their utter hatred of Riker's constantly sleeping with the female guest stars by Season 3, to the point that they preemptively say "Please don't fuck her" whenever Riker meets them.
    • In "Remember Me" they immediately suspect that Wesley's experiment is the cause of the disappearing people, and refuse to let this go for the whole episode.
    • Almost missing the reveal of Denise Crosby's face in the Season 4 finale because they're overly concerned with their food.
    • After hearing that Wesley's been in an accident in "The First Duty": "One of his ugly sweaters strangled him!"
      • Same episode: Picard calls Wesley out for covering up evidence during a trial, and Wesley refuses to comment. Mark just shouts at the screen.
      Wesley: I choose not to answer, sir.
      Mark: Oh, you fucker! He KNOWS!!
    • At Riker goggling over Kamala in "The Perfect Mate": "No! No Riker, no! It's like you have to smack him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper!"
    • Their immediate reaction to the Creepy Child from "Imaginary Friend":
      Mark: UHHHHH NOPE. NOOOOPE. NOOOO. NO THANK YOU. Oh my god, no. I’d be like, ‘Hi, Isabella! Come into this airlock with me! No no no, you stay there, it’s a fun game!’ And then I’d press the button to shoot that thing out into fuckin’ space, because what the fuck."
      • From the same viewing, when the big ball of energy seeps into the ship: "Their hull sucks! Shit's always getting in."
    • When Picard tells his girlfriend about the events of "The Inner Light" in "Lessons": "He's like 'Sit down, this is the wildest shit ever.'"
    • The thumbnail for the Season 7 videos, cowering under their blanket.
    • Upon seeing the tendency of the planet from "Liaisons" to have ships crash on it: "So it's like Jakku. Where's Rey?"
    • In "Gambit":
      • Imagining Riker obsessively looking for Picard under every single rock among the ruins.
      • Figuring the mercenaries are just a bunch of heavy metal fans due to their '80s Hair.
      • Using a single oddly delivered line from one of the mercenaries to characterize him as an Emo Teen.
    • Their adoration of the numerous cheesy zooms from "Dark Page," ultimately doing one themself.
    • The review of "Force of Nature" where they imagine just how the writing process went, with various people constantly pushing their own ideas and talking past each other while the Only Sane Man in the room (apparently Rockne S. O'Bannon given his desire to make a show about Muppets in space) is driven nuts. It's even better when you know that pretty much is how the episode was made, as explicated in the comments.
    • Trying to remember what Nikolai Rozhenko looks like in "Homeward," despite that Worf's foster brother was infamously a complete Ass Pull who'd never been mentioned before that episode.
    • Their enthusiasm for "Sub Rosa" gradually fading over its first ten minutes. "And I wanted a Dr. Crusher episode. This is...what the hell is this?"
  • Pounded By the Gay Color Changing Dress, aptly described as the story they were born to read.
    • Someone actually throws them a mini plastic trophy at one point.
    • Their numerous existential crises over the fact that they're being paid to read gay porn.
    • Someone comes in late and grants a first time reaction to the premise all over again, to which Mark freaks out so much that their hat flies off.
  • Any time they bring up how they managed to avoid learning anything that happened in The Legend of Korra after season one, except that a certain thing happened that “broke the Internet.” This is going to be good
    • In the video for "A Breath of Fresh Air", they're basically laughing and grinning ear-to-ear for entirety of the Asami and Korra car-ride. At the end, they say:
    Can these two hang out forever? 'Cause this is great!
    • Their reaction to P'Li's Family-Unfriendly Death: "There is a zero percent chance she survived that!"
    • In the Season 3 finale they finally get their first inkling of The Thing during a "strangely intimate moment" between Korra and Asami, visibly reading the vibe between them and then pulling themself back from it five or so times in a row before saying "I read into things" and clearly having no hope it'll actually go anywhere.
    • During one part of "Remembrances", where Mako is telling his life history and explaining, "But everything changed-"
    • During this same episode's final section, Mark can do nothing but sit there is pure, overjoyed awe: "I... don't even know what to say about this. It's amazing. This is a work of art.... I just don't even have words."
    • Mark beginning to really pick up on the sub-text between Korra and Asami. Their reactions are a mixture of joy and sadness as they start to ship them.
    Oh....oh OH! Don't do that to me. That's not fair.
    Quit... quit playing games with my heart. Quit it.
    • In "Beyond The Wilds" they say "No! Why would you do that?!" at the exact same time as Ryu does in-show about the guy poking a threatening vine with a stick.
    • During the series finale, they're at one point absolutely sure that Mako's apparent Heroic Sacrifice is what everyone's been talking about.
    • At the begining of the finale episode, saying how they figure this is where they'll learn about what broke the internet. They mention how hard they and others have been working to keep them unspoiled (apparently, at one panel, somebody actually threw something at someone who was about to tell them), and then talks about how awkward it would be if they reached the end and still didn't know.
    • When Kuvira attempts to kill Baatar Jr, they just go, "Damn, that's cold."
  • Their reactions during the entire "thing on the bed" scene from the Doctor Who episode "Listen." They seem five seconds away from a heart attack the whole time.
  • In the Kings pilot, when Sebastian Stan gets captured in a warzone: "Dammit Bucky, get your shit together!"
    • In the "Pilot, part II" reaction, They note that there doesn't seem to be a single queer character in this world, and it's bugging them. Cue the revelation that Jack is gay.
  • Mark's boyfriend Baize sits in on the videos for Sense8, and often camps it up in the background. By the start of the second one, they're already saying "I regret allowing you to be in these. I regret so much."
    • At the shot of the Golden Gate Bridge in the credits, they say "I used to live there," then clarifies they don't mean he literally lived on the bridge. Then Baize pipes up that they lived under it.
    • Their confused feelings over the "gorgeous stereotyping" of the Bollywood number.
    • The wide-eyed shock at first the reveal that Lito is gay, and then that Daniella is perfectly fine with it.
    • Baize making a frame around Mark's face with his hands on the last note of the theme song, twice.
    • During "Art Is Like Religion", Mark is so absorbed in how sad Kala's wedding is, then promptly gets sidetracked by Wolfgang showing up completely naked.
    Baize: This is better than HBO!
    • Baize mentions in an early episode that he wants to recreate the shot from the opening of two men eating an ice cream cone. In the last episode, he's still arguing for it.
    Mark: Why would I waste ice cream in my beard?
    Baize: For the straight gaze!
    • Mark wondering in the written review of the penultimate episode whether or not Steiner will go after Wolfgang. Either they mixed up Steiner and his father, or they completely forgot that Wolfgang blew him up in the last episode.
  • The sheer joy they take in Peggy's love for Improvised Weapons, spending most of the first written review gushing over the part where she smacks a guy with a stapler.
    • Baize's idea for Season 2, a fish getting Cap's powers from the blood Peggy poured into the river.
  • Upon seeing Alessandro Juliani in The 100, Mark calls him Gaius Baltar. Gaeta would be horrified to be mistaken for him.
    • Baize after the show's infamous torture scene gets going: "I want to turn into a puppy made of tears."
    • Both of them jump back and shriek when Octavia wakes up to find Lincoln staring at her. Baize then comments that his soul just left his body.
    • They both quickly start Eating the Eye Candy whenever Lincoln appears, until they start discussing who gets to be carried by him.
    • After Mark gives an impromptu "Now kiss" to Clarke and Lexa, Baize asks if he thinks it could actually happen. Mark, apparently having learned nothing from Korrasami, says there's no way.
    • Baize after The Kiss: "The homosexual agenda has been continued!"
    • Mark and Baize bickering over whether Miller looks like Oscar Issac in the Season 3 premiere.
    • In the same episode, their joy at a lesbian sex scene is tempered by Clarke still having an untreated wound on her back.
  • In Deep Space Nine, after Kira's line "The rocks are straight, I'm the one who's crooked," "I thought she was going to say 'I'm the one who's gay.' If only."
    • When Baize overhears one of Quark's scenes in "Profit and Loss":
    Baize: Is he an MRA?
    Mark: Pretty much.
    • When Q first shows up on Deep Space 9, Mark immediately predicts that Sisko will punch Q in the face. They're proven completely right about halfway through the episode.
    • During "Civil Defense," Baize walks in after reading what's apparently a devastating Wham Episode in the manuscript of Mark's novel, declaring him evil. Mark then says the salad they're eating is actually Baize's tears, as they specifically designed the book as revenge for all the stuff people have seen them go through. Then in "Meridian" he's just finished the book, and simply sits in the background and glares at Mark for a while.
    • In "Meridian," Mark laments that Fifty Shades of Grey has ruined lip-biting for them.
    • Their complete inability to stop gushing over how attractive Avery Brooks is after he gets his beard, and then his shaved head.
    • They spend the entirety of "Rejoined" freaking out over the extremely thinly veiled homosexual romance. The best part comes when they say they'll be pissed off if the camera cuts away from their kiss, and then faints when Avery Brooks' direction doesn't wimp out on it at all.
    • When Worf says he'll only need one shot in "Starship Down:" "Don't throw away your shot!"
    • Constantly begging to see Worf in the gold speedo in "Let He Who is Without Sin."
      • Plus, commenting that they didn't even realize Bashir and Leeta had been dating when they reveal they're breaking up. One of many big complaints fans had about the infamously bad episode is how little we got to see of this relationship (a handful of bits over the previous ten or so episodes totaling maybe two minutes of screen time) and now we're supposed to care that it's over.
    • After they appear to make Worf/Dax a canon ship with their mind: "What if I just had this weird, magical power where I could yell 'SHIP!' and then it would become canon? That’d be pretty cool. I’d make everything SO GAY."
    • At the beginning of "The Assignment", they mention that they got up early to watch the episode. By the end, after going through an entire episode of Nightmare Fuel and Paranoia Fuel, they note that not only are they wide awake, but they never plan on sleeping again.
    • Thanks to how far ahead they were making videos at the time, after weeks of discussions in the comments about how neat a way the show's crew found to incorporate Nana Visitor's pregnancy by having the O'Briens' baby transferred into her, during the video of "The Darkness and the Light" Mark suddenly realizes "Was Nana Visitor actually pregnant?" Even better, the episode was filmed after her son was born and she was wearing a fake belly for it.
    • During all the Les Misérables references in "For the Uniform," they become obsessed with seeing Avery Brooks play Javert in the musical somehow.
    • After hitting the big twist of "In the Pale Moonlight," their jaw is halfway to the ground for the entire rest of the video.
    • At the start of "The Reckoning" they point out how much Jake has been Out of Focus in Season 6 and hope to see more of him. The episode proceeds to have Jake be possessed by a Pah-wraith and almost killed. "Remember when this was about a tablet?"
    • Their glee at Cirroc Lofton being One Head Taller than the teenage guest cast in "Valiant."
    • The look of pure horror plastered on their face during the entire second half of "Profit and Lace." "I don't typically like the Ferengi episodes, but this is a whole new level of bad."
    • From "The Sound of Her Voice": "His main motivation here is making 200 bars of latinum by illegally selling some sort of crystal (probably to Jill Stein, I’m guessing)."
    • "Penumbra":
      • On the lead Founder's deterioration: "She needs a spa day."
      • Their stunned reaction to Worf and Ezri's Big Damn Kiss. "Here we go, into a new frontier!"
      • Giving a bald-faced "Fuck you!" to the Prophets telling Sisko he can't marry Kasidy.
    • Their increasing anguish as the show's famously epic final arc just keeps going across nine whole episodes.
  • While watching Ouran High School Host Club, Mark gets sidetracked when Tamaki claims extending a pinkie keeps a cup from making noise when set down. They're gobsmacked that it works after testing it with their water bottle and spends a moment gushing about this new knowledge.
  • They expected Death Note to be a tamer version of Dexter, with Light struggling with the morality of killing evil people. Light then kills hundreds of people and then declares himself a god in the first episode.
    • Likening Light to one of those annoying teenagers who have just discovered Ayn Rand and then take it as gospel for a few years before (hopefully) growing out of it.
    • They get caught completely off guard by the close-up shot of the porn magazine Light reads, and then get it again when in shows up in the next episode's recap sequence.
    • During the opening credits of "Love," right after Misa's introduction:
    "I wonder if that woman's in the credits?" (takes a drink right as Misa appears and misses it) "Probably not."
    • The massive Oh, Crap! reaction to Misa showing up in front of L in "Wager."
    • In the last few episodes, they happen to miss that Mikami sends a text to Takada to kill the rapist on the train, and think Mikami did it himself despite earlier being ordered to use a fake Death Note. This snowballs into their spending the whole final arc hopelessly confused as the twists keep piling up and they have no clue where the fake Note comes in.
  • On the huge amount of familiar faces in Broadchurch:
    "Is everyone in this show? Am I in this show?"
    • Baize brings up the idea that the Patron who sponsors their watching the show could have stopped requesting it right before they found out who the killer was. Mark says this would have made her their mortal enemy.
    • Their Genre Savvy calling the second-to-last episode of Series 2 ending on a cliffhanger before the verdict is read, which they called in the announcement post the worst cliffhanger they'd ever had.
  • Tweeting in total innocence that they would "be back soon" just before watching the pilot of Star Trek: Voyager.
    • Their predictably epic reaction to the show killing off half of its apparent regular cast in the first episode, immediately followed by the surreality of the Caretaker's farmhouse illusion. They stare in slack-jawed Stunned Silence for a good minute or so.
    • Completely freaking out during the first five minutes of "Emanations", as it appears the episode will be about a horrifying spider monster.
    • Their complete bafflement at the especially blatant case of 2-D Space in "Twisted".
    • Their reaction to the end of "Threshold" is everything that could be hoped for. "This is the worst thing to anything I've ever seen!"
    • Upon seeing "The Thaw" includes a character named The Clown, they completely freak out and don't let up for the whole thing. "I think I'm in Hell. This is Hell."
    • When Season 2 ends with the crew stranded on a planet they call similar to Earth millions of years ago: "Are there gonna be dinosaurs? Please tell me there's gonna be dinosaurs!" (A dinosaur appears) "YES! I mean, not yes, but yes!"
    • Their frustrations with the infamous dancing around the homo/bi-sexual aspects in "Warlord," first giving a resigned "But no homo" when Tieran's kiss with his wife while in Kes' body is interrupted, and then "This is not the triad I asked for" when he announces his new engagement.
    • In "The Q and the Grey," the female Q says she's always liked Klingon females, an Actor Allusion to how the actress had previously played K'Heylar in The Next Generation. Immediately afterwards, Marks wonders, "Where have I seen that actress before? I think it was actually in Star Trek."
    • Thanks to working ahead on their projects before a five-week trip to Europe, they freak out when the last Voyager episode they watch is "Blood Fever," leaving them cliffhangered for a month on the crew discovering they're in Borg territory.
    • Struggling to comprehend the casual reveal of Neelix and Kes' breakup in "Darkling," their mind having a very hard time accepting that the show's writing staff actually cared so little about their work that this relationship that had been part of the show for more than two years was unceremoniously jettisoned offscreen. They seriously consider that they might have somehow missed an episode, or that there's some reality altering plot that will be revealed. In the same episode, they have some choice words for one of the historical figures the Doctor integrates into himself: "You may not know this, but Gandhi suuuucked."
    • Being creeped out throughout all the supposedly sexy stuff in "Favorite Son." "This is literally like porn."
    • Their absolute horror of the Doctor's family in "Real Life." "This is the whitest thing ever!"
    • The epic Jaw Drop when Species 8472 destroys a whole planet at the end of "Scorpion Part 1."
    • Baize does a bizarre interpretive dance thing around Mark's body during the opening credits of "Latent Image," which baffles them just as much as the audience. Mark finally gently nudges him back, which somehow sends him flying head over heels.
    • During "Bride of Chaotica" Baize, previously noted to be completely uninterested in Star Trek, happens to be walking by when Janeway makes her entrance as Arachnia. He promptly stops dead and stares at the screen, before pulling up to watch the rest of the scene.
    • In "The Disease" they become convinced that Starfleet's massive set of rules about interspecies romance is because of all the trouble Kirk caused them from being such a horndog.
    • Calling the Malon freighter in "Juggernaut" a "fart ship."
    • In "11:59" they're a bit triggered by Janeway stirring tea shortly after seeing Get Out (2017).
    • Their seething disgust and horror for the Doctor's chick magnet fantasies in "Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy."
    • In "Fair Haven" they're completely mystified by the appeal of the titular holodeck program, asking "Is it?" every single time someone talks about how great it is.
    • Constantly cracking up at the crew's annoyance in "Virtuoso."
    • Their bafflement at the shameless Remember the New Guy? plot of "Ashes To Ashes," especially since they're absolutely positive they'd remember if Kim Rhodes had been on the show before after loving her so much on Supernatural.
    • In "Fury" they keep saying there'd better be a darn good explanation for Kes' Face–Heel Turn coming. When they get to the infamously confusing and unsatisfying answer, they get a beautifully baffled and incredulous expression.
    • When Tom is challenged to a race in "Drive:" "Voyager: Tokyo Drift. 2 Fast 2 Voyager. Seriously, let's have that crossover."
    • They understandably spend the whole first act of "Work Force" completely baffled and struggling to figure out what's going on, occasionally chiming in that they still have no idea.
  • They has to stop themself about every minute during the very eventful fourth chapter of "So You Want to be a Wizard" because they're so overwhelmed. It's hysterical to watch.
    • Their absolute terror during the final scene of "Deep Wizardry" Chapter 9, having to stop and groan every couple lines from the sheer force of parental disappointment.
    • Reaching the reveal in "A Wizard Abroad" about Ronan's true nature. There's one bit where you'd swear the video just froze.
    • When Kit finds his spells aren't working in "A Wizard Alone": "Did he just get banned from the forum?"
    • In "Wizard's Holiday" one of Carmella's new boytoys is named Mark. Their reaction is predictable.
    • Their discovery of cats using internet in "The Book of Night With Moon". They're so delighted at the prospect that they spend most of the review gushing about it, even wondering what would happen if cats could read the post and then send them hate-mail about it.
  • Discovering Mark Hamill was the voice of the Joker in Batman: The Animated Series. It blows whatever they were about to say next right out of their head.
    • Their utterly aghast reaction to the "small subpoena" joke in "The Man Who Killed Batman."
    • When Batman puts his cape over the completely frozen Robin in "Deep Freeze": "Take my cape. It won't help you at all, but still." And made so much better by the utterly straight-faced delivery.
    • They finally get to the legendary "Baby Doll," and are absolutely horrified through the whole thing, saying it's not possible for the show to have a more disturbing episode.
  • Their mental breakdown during the infamous elevator scene from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
  • In Hannibal they note that Will is becoming a lot like Hannibal in Season 3, immediately followed by Will stringing up the prisoner's corpse as a firefly. "I take it back. I take it all back."
    • Their anguish at having to wait four episodes to find out if Alana survived the Season 2 cliffhanger.
    • Realizing the show actually is going to do that scene with Pazzi from the novels. "They're doing the THING!"
  • During the Arrow episode "Year's End," Netflix crashes right when it appears Moira is going to finally explain the whole conspiracy.
    • In "The Huntress Returns" Baize leaps into frame and starts dancing during the opening strip club scene. Mark simply says "Every day."
    • Their becoming a rabid Oliver/Laurel shipper, blissfully unaware of how much the fans despised the pairing as the show aired.
    • Their immediate reaction to Sara Lance's introduction: "She's much better at this than Oliver."
  • While watching Episode 2 of Serial Experiments Lain, they have to deal with a bee flying in front of their face. After getting it out the window (including telling it "I believe in you,") they have a good laugh over how surprisingly long it took something like that to happen once they started making the videos a feature.
  • The fun with Steven Universe started before he even posted anything about it thanks to their Twitter feed. First they asked if "Gem Glow" had given a good excuse to eat Cookie Cats for breakfast, and their comment on the infamous Body Horror episode "Cat Fingers" is simply "What the FUCK."
    • Their response to Steven's obsession with Cookie Cats: "This show understands me."
    • The contrasting reactions to "Cat Fingers," with Mark finding the concept a bit too silly to do anything but laugh at, while Baize is completely horrified.
    • Baize soon takes to singing along with the opening credits in falsetto, shouting the final "and Steven!" into Mark's ear. We're assured that he's like this all the time.
      • Going from one of Mark's later reactions when this happens, it seems they've been trying for a while to convince people of how goofy Baize can get, and is quite glad to now have video evidence of it.
    • This killer burn in "Fusion Cuisine": "I don't really like her mom. She's like my mom, except more pretty."
    • When Pearl reveals she watches Steven sleep: "Thanks, Edward Cullen."
    • When a raccoon shows up during a song in "On the Run", Mark briefly exclaims that they have a friend. The raccoon immediately starts attacking Steven, prompting Mark to cover their face as Baize cackles.
    • After so long of them leaping at the slightest hint of any kind of non-heteronormative feelings in all the stuff he reads and watches, it's quite amusing to see Pearl's love for Rose, renowned as one of the most notable cases of it in American entertainment in recent years, sail right over their head in "Rose's Scabbard."
    • Mark had no idea of the existence of Uncle Grandpa before watching "Say Uncle," and Baize opts to not tell them until the episode is over, causing them to spend the whole thing being gloriously confused. Plus, "Is he everyone's gay uncle? Wait, I'm the gay uncle!"
    • Their continual viewing of Peridot as the show's Big Bad, which is funny enough in the moment as it becomes more and more clear that she's a very tiny cog in Homeworld's plans, and so much more if you know where her story is going.
    • Their increasingly high-pitched yells of "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ONION" as "Onion Friend" goes on, to point there are tears by the episode's end.
    • Mark and Baize's synchronized Jaw Drop at the appearance of the Roaming Eye in "Barn Mates."
    • The whole reaction to Garnet and Pearl losing their shit upon meeting Smoky Quartz. "Me. At all times."
    • Baize completely keels over in despair at the cliffhanger ending of "Steven's Dream," made even funnier by how they're being left on it far longer than the people actually watching the show as it aired.
      • Immediately followed by them getting cliffhangered again in "The Zoo", which ends with Mark screaming "FUCK" while Baize fixes the camera with a glare.
  • The Over the Garden Wall videos are a nonstop parade of hilarity, as they had no idea what to expect from the show and are completely caught off guard by both its weirdness and creepiness. Plus, they've now been completely Pavloved to expect the Steven Universe theme song after the Cartoon Network opening bumper.
  • Their obsession with dogs gets them into some trouble in Gargoyles, as they can't figure out if Bronx should be called one.
    • At the start of the show they assume it'll have a big focus on the Gargoyles keeping themselves hidden from human society, and is completely surprised by how many people quickly see them. They even try to keep count of how many people that is, before giving up at Goliath meeting Bronx in the middle of a busy street in "Enter Macbeth."
    • In "Leader of the Pack" they're quite proud of predicting that Xanatos and Fox planned her getting out of jail legally, but is still caught by surprise by the reveal that they're a couple.
    • They spend several episodes with a quite bizarre case of Arbitrary Skepticism, assuming that Matt Bluestone's search for the Illuminati has to be a fool's errand even with this being a world where things like gargoyles, fairies, and time travel have already been shown to exist. It takes Bluestone himself being inducted into the Illuminati's ranks for them to catch on that the show's All Myths Are True set-up really does extend that far.
    • The sheer joy they take in the gargoyles fighting off skinheads in "M.I.A.".
    • In "The Hound of Ulster" they quickly pick up on the similarities to Ronan's story in Young Wizards, and is quite embarrassed to see that the episode was actually written by Diane Duane and her husband, so this actually wasn't that unusual a thing to point out.
    • In part 1 of "The Gathering" they are convinced that Titania is secretly Puck, and dismiss the much more obvious clue that she and Anastasia share the same voice actor as just an example of reusing actors.
  • Just like Terminator 2, they managed to watch Galaxy Quest without knowing a thing beyond a few of the actors involved. The result is that the opening scene of the Galaxy Quest show leads them to think the whole movie is going to be a simple Trek spoof in the same vein as Spaceballs, and a bit afterwards they go on the same journey as Jason in first thinking the Thermians are simply hardcore fans before being surprised that they're real aliens.
    • At the film's end, Mark recalls how huge Tim Allen's career was in the '90s and wonders if he's got any jobs going currently, apparently with no idea that he's been starring in another successful sitcom for six years (though it ended shortly after this).
  • In Star Trek: Enterprise, they don't take long to get seriously weirded out by the infamous decon gel scenes.
    • Their seething hatred of the show's theme song, even searching for another song to play over the credits in every episode. Upon getting to the rearrangement in the third season, they consider for a moment and then declare it not an improvement at all.
    • Their insistence that the crew is somehow going to run into Riker on Risa, despite the show being set two centuries before his time.
    • In "Two Days and Two Nights" they're thoroughly underwhelmed by the start of most of the subplots, and beg Hoshi to be doing something interesting.
    • In "Similitude" they can't stop commenting on how the ore-encrusted Enterprise looks like it's covered in shit.
    • In "Carpenter Street" they immediately start begging for T'Pol to be included in the mission to 2004, so that she'd finally be forced to admit that time travel is possible. And is then tremendously excited when they get their wish.
    • Near the end of "Doctor's Orders," a horror story built around sudden noises, their sink suddenly starts acting up and freaks them right the hell out.
  • In Person of Interest they manage to forget that Finch's dead friend was named Nathan, and thus when a drugged-up Finch addresses Reese by the name they spend several episodes assuming it's Reese's real name, and is suitably embarrassed when they finally figure it out.
  • In Star Trek (2009):
    • Upon recognizing Chris Hemsworth: "It looks exactly like him! I swear, I don't think all white people look alike."
    • Instantly calling the death of the token Red Shirt just like they got to doing for TOS.
    • Kirk's return to the ship is greeted with a positively gleeful "Spock is gonna be so pissed!"
  • Their absolute delight in how Alias is drenched with early 2000s technology.
    "Take this old Nokia cell phone. I put Snake on it, because it's the only game it can handle."
    • Gradually realizing that every single episode of the show is going to end on a horrible cliffhanger, ultimately calling it the most evil thing the fans have ever done to them.
    • They freak out over every single second of the extremely tall and precarious bamboo ladder in "Time Will Tell."
    • Ducking out of frame and refusing to get back in after the reveal of Sydney's mother being a KGB agent, including fumbling with the remote to shut the episode off.
    • "The Box," with its group of weirdo villains led by an especially hammy Quentin Tarantino, has a whole bunch of great reactions.
      • Upon first recognizing the special guest: "That's absolutely Quentin Tarantino running down a hallway to Rob Zombie."
      • Their bemusement at everyone's odd hair. "That was like three rat-tails sticking out the side of people's heads."
      • From the few things they've seen Tarantino act in, they're pretty sure his performance is just his real personality.
      • The oddity of Dixon's message to the CIA clearly being a Word document rather than an email causes Mark to suppose he's completely clueless about office protocol.
      "He forwards all emails. He always hits reply all. He CCs people and refuses to learn what BCC is. His email signature is an ATTACHMENT. He will send 8 million emails for every little thing rather than just stand up and ask a question. Which makes his scene even funnier if you imagine that Jack looks at Dixon to discourage him not because it’ll get sent to the CIA, but because Jack knows he’s going to compose the whole email in Word and attach it."
    • The slow realization that yes, Sydney is actually wearing brownface in the final scene of "The Solution."
    • During the whole storyline of Sloane being taunted with stuff related to Emily, they maintain that given how the show has already delved into fantasy territory with the Rambaldi devices, it could definitely be possible that Emily is haunting him as a ghost.
    • Their absolute inability to care about Thomas Grace, taking time in just about every Season 5 review to point out how they still have no interest at all in the Replacement Scrappy for Vaughn.
  • In their The Good Place review, they say that the clown paintings mean the group is actually in the Bad Place, figuring out a season long twist without even knowing.
  • While they knew going in that Yuri!!! on Ice had some gay content in it, they clearly didn't have their hopes very high and is constantly freaking out over just how blatant the show is about Yuri and Victor's relationship.
  • After just the first regular episode of Babylon 5, they announce that they're shipping Ivanova and Talia. What really makes it great is that, much like The Legend of Korra, they clearly just have no expectation at all that it might actually happen, even saying they want to write "AU" fic about it.
    • Their adoration of the design of Kosh's encounter suit is hilarious if you know about the disdain all the cast and crew held it in for being so cumbersome to film with, derisively calling it "the jukebox."
    • Their excitement at seeing Walter Koenig quickly turns to skin-crawling horror at the kind of character he's playing.
    • Since Mira Furlan is under such heavy makeup, they struggle to figure out where they know her quite distinctive voice from (Danielle Rousseau from Lost).
    • The show's exceptionally tight and intricate continuity (with the entire five season story being planned out from the start) results in a veritable mountain of rot13 in the comments for every single episode. Mark quickly chimed in just to say "I'm doomed."
    • As Londo complains about how little sense human culture makes:
      Londo: What is the one song half of them sing to their children generation after generation?
      Mark: Bohemian Rhapsody?
      (Londo sings the Hokey Pokey, causing Mark to Face Palm)
    • They have a good chuckle at the description of motorcyles' roles in human culture, representing "masculinity, sexual prowess, and rebellion." It's technically all true, but mostly just means you're an asshole.
    • They get a charley horse during "GROPOS" and end up kicking the camera.
    • The reveal of Lennier staying up for two days to properly prepare a Minbari meal in "Confessions and Lamentations" actually sends them into falsetto.
    • They point out repeatedly that in the middle of everyone else's dignified expressions in the Season 3 credits, Stephen Furst looks more like he's terrified to be there.
  • In the Season 11 premiere of Doctor Who, they get very excited at the new companion team being transported along with the Doctor...and then their expression completely freezes as it enters his head after a few seconds that they're in outer space with zero protection.
    • They completely freak out upon seeing Alan Cummings' guest appearance, and almost misses that he's playing King James.
  • Their reviews of Veronica Mars Season 4 are quite amusing if you've already seen the whole season, as they correctly gues the bombing culprit early on, only to spend the next several episodes talking themself out of it.
  • The constant swerves of Monster offer many priceless reactions from Mark.
    • It takes the show pointing it out for Mark to remember the many risks Tenma might run into if he walked into a right-wing bar.
    Mark: I completely for- he's fucking Japanese, just go walk in there and he'd be like "hey! I'm fine, everything's fine. Hey bigots, how you doing?
    • They spent thirty-seven episodes desperately trying to figure out what the bizarre images of the closing credits could mean. Then they spend four episodes desperate to figure out what's in the Czech picture book. They're suitably outraged when they realize they've been looking at it the entire time in the credits.
  • Near the end of Russian Doll they understandably say of the song that indicates the start of a new time loop ("Gotta Get Up" by Harry Nilsson) "If I ever hear this song in real life, I am going to freak the fuck out."
  • Late in Season 1 of Jane the Virgin, they're quite surprised to very suddenly find themself shipping Jane and Petra. "I'll just lob it out there and not address it."
    • The arrival of Anezka seems to completely break their brain, with their having to spend two minutes after the episode ends struggling to sputter out some coherent thoughts about it.
    • On Darci's home birth: "This is the weirdest birth I've ever seen, and I watched The X-Files."
    • In the episodes before it's confirmed that the show is moving towards Petra and JR becoming a couple, they have some epic frustration over not being able to tell if the sparks between them are deliberate or just wishful thinking.
    • They somehow get the idea that Krishna escaping out the window after being caught as the blackmailer is actually her committing suicide, and when she casually just shows up again beats themself up about it at every opportunity.
  • The Doctor Who Wham Episode "Fugitive of the Judoon" provides some epic confusion as a ton of bizarre plot twists arrive on top of each other.
    Gat: Oh come on, do I have to spell it out?
    Mark: YES! Please do!
  • The exceptionally bleak ending of the Star Trek: Discovery two part pilot has the result we all expect by this point.
    "One of the main characters is dead. The other is in prison for life. This is the second episode. There are three seasons of this show. WHAT THE FUCK?"
  • A running gag in the comments of the Princess Tutu blogs included arctic_hare's fictional cruise manifesto, which included "scheduled cruise activities" such as:
    • "Constant Vigilance: How to Tell if Drosselmeyer is Interfering in Your Story, and What to Do About It"
    • "Hugs for Fakir Telethon" (after "The Forgotten Story")
    • "Neko-sensei's Marriage Training"
    • "Drosselmeyer Effigy Bonfire"
    • "Fakir Love Fan Club Dinner Party"
    • "Book Anti-Desecration League Training and Briefing Session" (After "Crown of Stone")