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Funny / Lucky Luke

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  • In Les Cousins Dalton, we get to see the second incarnation of the Dalton at their beginning. Here are their original "Wanted posters":
    Wanted: Joe Dalton; 1 dollar 90
    Wanted: Jack Dalton; 75 cents
    Wanted: William Dalton; a true art plaster object
    Averell Dalton: Not Wanted
    • Then we get their first confrontation with Luke, where he easily defeat them without even fighting. Cue them retreating:
      Joe: It's not over, Cowboy! We Will Meet Again!
      Lucky Luke: I sure hope so! It was amusing.
    • Toward the end of the issue, Luke starts travelling around the West to get the Dalton, who have decided to split up so they could find him. Having captured Averell, he goes after Jack, who tries to defeat him by cunning, using various disguises to approach Luke and kill him while he doesn't suspect anything. The plan is constantly foiled by Averell, who instantly recognizes his brother and identifies him out loud, ruining the effect of surprise. After around the third attempt, Jack ends up hitting Averell out of frustration:
      Averell (pointing at Luke): Hey, what are you doing Jack?! He is the one you are supposed to hit, not me!
  • In Calamity Jane, Lucky Luke goes to the Saloon to see how Jane is doing. He finds her narrating the tales of her youth to the customers... who think she "knows how to find the good words to make the tale enjoyable":
    Calamity Jane: So those [censored] Sioux attack our [censored] camp! Then I go find the [censored] captain, and I tell him...
    • In the same story, Jane learns to bake for the first time and then makes her customers eat those cakes by pointing her gun at them. The looks on the men's faces tell us very clear how those cakes taste like. One guy who hasn't eat them yet comes up to her, opens his shirt and tells her to shoot him.
    • In the next story involving Calamity Jane, she and Luke have to deal with a spreading myth about Calamity Jane being a ghost witch and demoness who eats people. During their trip, they are attacked by Indians, but when they recognize Jane, they run away terrorized. When she starts to go after them out of anger, the Chief decides to stay behind and give his life to save the tribe. Cue the following dialogue:
      Chief: Devour me.
      Jane: ...What? Eeeeeh... no thanks, I already took lunch...
      (Luke arrives)
      Jane: Ah, Luke! Please explain this moron I don't wanna eat him!
      Chief: Ghost can eat Chief; all I ask is she spares his tribe.
      Jane: Your tribe?! (to Luke) He overestimates my appetite!
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    • Then at the end, when they go to inform the Wells Fargo head about their success. The poor man is terrorized to see Jane (as the last time she saw him, she demolished his desk and two henchman because her new rifle had gone missing on one of his stagecoaches):
      Luke: Chill out, she is not going to eat you!
  • Almost everything that goes in Rantanplan's head turns out as this.
  • Some plots actually qualify as Funny Moments. For example, one book involved a Clan war between two families, who recognize each other through their facial features and systematically shoot at each other whenever they meet each other. The problem is, they both aim incredibly bad, so they constantly fail at killing each others and only end up causing collateral damages.
  • In one book, Joe decides that he and his brothers will cover their tracks by using fake names, calling themselves the Jones Brothers: Frank, Louis, Robert and Jim Jones. Needless to say, the others (especially Averell) have a hard time understanding this, and Hilarity Ensues:
    Jack (to an infuriated Joe): Calm down, Frank!
    William: Wait, no! Joe is Robert! You are Frank!
    Averell: Wait, then who am I?
    Joe: The next one who call me Joe is a dead man!
    Jack: Calm down, What's-his-name!
    Averell: No, seriously, who am I supposed to be?
    Joe: You are an idiot!
    • Cue William and Jack complaining due to Joe not allowing them to steal anything and begging him to do so just to get decent food:
      Joe: No, you idiots!
      Averell: But I didn't say anything!
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    • Then when William and Jack try to explain:
      Averell: No! I am Idiot! Joe said so!
      Joe: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME JOE! (beat him up) You idiot!
      Averell (to William and Jack): See? Told you!
    • And later still, when everyone's still confused about their new names...
      Jack: Calm down, Whatsyername...
  • In one scene, the Dalton have captured Lucky Luke, but need to find Rantanplan. They decide to temporarily use Luke's help and advice:
    Luke: We need to split up to cover more ground. Joe, go North; Jack, go South; William, go West; Averell, go East.
    Joe: What about you?
    Luke: Me? Well, I am following you!
    Joe: Of course. Don't expect us to be stupid enough to leave you alone here!
    (all Daltons follow the instructions and leave, each one believing Luke is following one of the others)
    Luke (alone): They really are dumber than I thought.
  • Marcel Dalton trying to have his nephews working in a bank. Cue this bit of dialogue:
    Joe Dalton: Your money! Now!
    Customer: But I am coming to give it to you, I want to open a credit here!
    William Dalton: Normally, I should be on the other side, with a weapon!
    Averell Dalton: Don't you have something to eat?
  • In Billy the Kid's debut album, Billy orders hot chocolate for the patrons and himself. He then ask why everyone isn't drinking. A patron retort that it's too hot. Billy then angrily shout at everyone to drink. Cue patrons quickly gulping down the hot beverage down their throats. When Billy goes for his he stops after a sip and admits it's really hot, wondering how the patrons gulped it down.
  • A Freud-esque psychologist trying to find criminals as test subjects to prove he can "cure" criminals by dealing with their Freudian issues. Lucky Luke and him go to visit the Jail, where the Warden presents him some of the prisoners. Said prisoners include:
    • A man who refused to pay his food, arguing it was lacking salt, and killed everybody in the restaurant. Sentenced to five years for swearing and rude behaviour;
    • A man who killed the Governor's brother-in-law. Originally sentenced to death, reduced to three years in jail by the Governor;
    • A man who destroyed an entire town, killing twelve thousand people. Sentenced to one year for bothering the neighbours with the noises;
    • A man who stole a horse; sentenced to prison for life;
      • Even better is the psychologist's reaction:
        Lucky Luke: Do any of those interest you, professor?
        Psychologist: Not really, but I'd love to meet their judges.
    • When the psychologist turns into a villain and leader of the Daltons Luke keeps pressing his Berserk Button by calling him crazy, his first attempt to shoot him is stopped by Joe suggesting they decide it at poker who of the gang gets to do it. The psychiatrist recomposed himself as he wants Luke to see his genius and demands that the Daltons leave so he can go on a Motive Rant with Luke. Joe asks William to bring cards just in case. Then when Luke still calls him crazy and the doc is about to shoot him:
      Joe: (opening the door showing four aces in his hands) Hey.
      William: (showing also four aces) Wait.
      Jack: (also showing four aces) Just a second.
    • The psychologist getting the "calm down, Joe. Joe, calm down" from Jack, William and Joe when he loses his nerves.
    • The shrink trips over Rantanplan, who only reacts once he's getting up.
    Interesting specimen...
  • One book has Lucky Luke escorting a team as they go through a town full of Gambling Addicts. As they enter the saloon:
    • A few panels later, Lucky Luke shoots in the air in an attempt to get people's attention. Someone bet his boots that his gun is empty; Luke immediately shoots a few more times. Cue the guy giving his boots to another guy in the next panel.
  • "La Ballade des Dalton", Averell's response to the Desert of Thirst:
    "Woulda been worse if it'd been the Desert of Hunger."
    • Throughout the movie, Rintincan is convinced that the Daltons stole the jail (they actually blew it up while attempting to dig their way out), so he follows them around intending to capture them. When they reach the Desert of Thirst, this is what he has to say:
      "It's gettin' worse, now somebody's stolen the scenery!"
  • In one book, Luke is escorting an artist in a town famous for being a place where everybody does nothing but drink and fight. As they approach, the artist suggest to go in a saloon named the Golden Spurr Saloon, but Luke suggests to instead go to the Silver Spun. The reason?
    Luke: Because the Golden Spurr is very, very, very, very, very dangerous.... while the Silver Spun is just very dangerous.
  • Les Dalton se Rachètent: a page starts depicts Joe Dalton with elegant clothes and being saluted by several characters after reforming ("How are you doing, Mr. Dalton?" "Good ol' Joe!" "Go say hello to that nice Mr. Dalton"); in short, he's become a well-respected, law-abiding citizen. Cue the next panel, where his siblings wake him from his scream-inducing nightmare.
    Averell (still not getting the plan): Joe, I don't get it. Have we become honest men?
    Joe: Averell, you being stupid is one thing, but I will not tolerate your using language!
  • In the Rantanplan comic Les Cervaux ("The Brains"), after Averell has been kidnapped from the prison, the other three Daltons break out to go find him and William turns out to practically be channeling Averell when it comes to idiocy... and Jasper, the prison guard isn't too far behind:
    Jack: Where should we go now, Joe?
    William: I think we're lost, Joe.
    Joe: Nah! Averell's lost! We've just gone slightly astray! I wish we had a map, though...
    William: Averell had one under his mattress. He used to read it at night to get to sleep.
    Joe: Well, go get it, then!
    William: Well, it's just that... umm...
    Joe: What?
    William: It's just that I need a map to find my way back to the prison.
    *Joe hits him*
    William: All right, all right! I'm running!
    Joe: I've been born into a family of idiots!
    • William eventually finds his way back to the prison, entering it through the same escape tunnel that he and his brother used to get out. He runs into Jasper, who's been given the task of filling in the tunnel.
    Jasper: *gets out a measuring tape to measure William's height* William Dalton!
    William: That's right, but don't let me disturb you. I just dropped by to fetch something.
    Jasper: Well, hurry it up, then! I've got a hole to fill here!
    • After William leaves the prison again (and from the prison we hear the sounds of Jasper being attacked by the warden for letting William escape), he finally makes it back to Joe and Jack.
    Joe: You took your sweet time! We were starting to wonder where you'd disappeared to!
    William: Sorry, I got lost on the way back.
    Joe: Really? While holding a map?!
    William: Oh, right. How silly. I plain didn't think to look at it!
    *Joe hits him*
    Joe: You.... you... you Averell!
    • After Joe tries to consult the map, he concludes that they really need a compass too.
    William: I know where there's a compass. Saw one underneath Averell's mattress when I went to fetch the map!
    Joe: And you didn't bring it?
    William: Uh... no, Joe, I...
    *Joe hits him again*
    Joe: So! What are you gonna do now?!
    William: Um... go fetch the compass from underneath Averell's mattress.
    Joe: And how are you gonna find your way back?!
    William: Oh, that won't be a problem! I made sure to have lots of landmarks!
    *William runs off, and Joe and Jack are flabbergasted to see that he's drawn arrows pointing towards the prison on almost every rock*'
    • After yet another return to the prison and another surprisingly polite encounter with Jasper, who still doesn't think to hold him back because he's too busy being annoyed at how he never gets to fill in that tunnel, William finally returns to his brothers.
    William: Here's the compass, Joe! Now you can really save us all! It was right underneath Averell's mattress, just as I said. Weird how much stuff he's got hidden away under there.
    Joe: ...huh?
    William: Can you imagine? There was even gun there! But I didn't bring that, of course! After all, what use is a a gun for finding your way?
    *Joe stares at him in astonishment... and then hits him again*
  • Tortillas for the Daltons:
    • The Daltons discover Mexican food:
      Averell: I love exotic food! What do you call this delicious crust around the frijoles?
      Espuelas: It's called a terracotta bowl, amigo...
    • Lucky Luke discovers tequila:
      Police Chief: You put a pile of salt on the back of your hand, lick it up, and drink in one gulp... Salud!
      Refreshing, no?
    • Joe decides to rob a local bank.
      Jack: It'll be interesting to see foreign banks!
      William: We'll be like tourists!
      Averell: Maybe we'll get to go inside one of their jails! That way, when we get back we'll be able to tell Oxford Bill, who's always bragging about having been to prison in England-
      Jack and/or William: (offscreen) Don't strangle him, Joe!
    • After the Daltons attack the bank (which turned out to be empty, as the only money that passes through there are cock fight bets), the excited banker goes to the cantina to celebrate, as his bank is finally entering the modern business world (and even received advice on what a proper bank should look like from Joe).
    • The Daltons train to act like mariachis to infiltrate a landlord's hacienda. Their singing is so bad it drives the bandito teaching them first to tears, then to attempted suicide.
      • There's a hilarious scene during their practice where their singing get so bad it ruins the mayonaisse the cook is working on.
    • The final shootout:
      Mook 1: Mì revolver!
      Mook 2: Mì revolver's trigger!
      Mook 3: The finger I use to pull mì revolver's trigger!
      Mook 4: Ay! The tequila storage!
  • Dalton City
    • The Daltons catch Luke sneaking around and "forces" him to help them set up shop in the abandoned outlaw town by pretending to be a guest. As such, they have him try out the various services such as the restaurant, the hotel, and, of course, looking after his horse. Jolly Jumper's reaction to William Dalton grooming him is hilarious.
      Jolly: No sense questioning it. I've lost track of the story at some point.
    • Luke rejecting Averell's cooking, which turns out to be Averell's Berserk Button.
      Averell: Gimme my gun, Joe!!
      Joe: You can't shoot customers for every bad review.
      • Of course, the near-omnivorous Rantanplan loves his food. He also loves the bar of soap Jack Dalton dropped on the floor.
    • Joe gains a crush on the madame of a travelling dance troupe, and falls for Luke's "suggestion" that he ask her to marry him (in reality a plot to trick outlaws to come to a fake wedding). While Luke initially suggests William or Jack to be the groom, Joe blushes and stammers that he was thinking about popping the question. Apparently Jolly Jumper finds the whole issue hysterical.
    • Why are the Daltons even free in this album? Because the Cardboard Prison they're usually locked up in had hired a telegraph operator that didn't really know Morse code, and had interpreted the message to release a mild-mannered inmate named Joe Milton for good behavior as "release Joe DALTON for good behavior". Joe has to be physically thrown out of jail because he finds the idea of being pardoned a personal insult.
  • The Daily Star
    • The album centers on Lucky Luke assisting hapless newspaper publisher Horace Greeley (a Historical Domain Character who would go on to found the New York Tribune), in his efforts of trying to distribute news in the West, with mixed results to say the least. When Luke first meets him, he's trying to pull his printing press out of a river after his latest attempt infuriated too many people.
    • Greeley sampling the entire drink menu at the saloon and staggers out drunk off his ass, only to come in again minutes later, stone cold sober, with a new edition of the Daily Star revealing that the saloon owner waters down his drinks.
    • The counterfeiter who tries to pay for his drink with a dollar bill that's blank on one side because he ran out of ink.

  • From the Cartoon:
    • In the "Dalton cowboys" after the Dalton kidnaps a baby:
      Luke: The Dalton have a baby!
      Everyone: The Dalton are reproducing!?
      Luke: Calm down, it's just a kidnapping.
      everyone sighs in relief

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